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Badger Grylls
Chemically Abused
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
Posts: 395
Location: Outlying Wastelands of Bolton
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 5:28 am |
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Recently Myself and MoP have began recruiting a new TW4T and I have another new recruit coming to the boil as well.
Was thinking yesterday how few of the Scammers are really good TW4T material as you have to knock them off their original scripts and scam.
Then as if by divine intervention this bozo landed in my catcher account
Quote: |
Dear sir/madam,
may the peace of the Lord be with you all my name is j4cob 4nslem Nons0 am from aniocha south local government area of delta-state here in nigeria i am an orphane, i lost my perents when i was in primay school i am solicitating for help to continue with my education for i have no hope to continue that is why i have to use this oportunity to ask with the name of almaight God for any help you can grant me i have a view of becoming and Pastor but without education i cannot achive my dreams please my dear fathers and mothers to help me for i am like a sheep without a shepard but i know that with God all things are possible that is why i have coming to you i will provide any information about my self that you may wish to know hope to hear from you soon.
With Regards J4cob 4nslem.
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And Judging by his surname he's a bit of a Nonce too.......
I think he will fit in nicely...just what the Doctor ordered. |
Last edited by Badger Grylls on Fri May 22, 2009 4:42 pm; edited 4 times in total |
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Master of Puppets
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Posts: 3294
Location: Pulling the Strings
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:59 am |
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Nurse Nasty
Baiting Guru
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Posts: 7251
Location: Australia, where a dingo stole my eski
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:46 am |
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Badger Grylls
Chemically Abused
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
Posts: 395
Location: Outlying Wastelands of Bolton
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 11:48 am |
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Yeah they are truly a gift from god
Ive sent e mails
1 from the TW4t Rev
2 A concerned businessman who can put him in touch with a dynamic new church
3 As a Cardinal Richelieu the popes right hand man in Chad
(before anyone can say ITP I will withdraw the third character if anyone can demonstrate the catholic churches innocence) |
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B8er
Associate Boomdazzler
Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Posts: 13625
Location: In self-isolation practicing social distancing
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 12:30 pm |
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If this is the lad I think it is then he's also had an email from my church as well. |
_________________ "I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
"YOU ARE WALKING DEAD MAN. YOUR WOODEN COFFIN IS READY TO SWALLOW YOU AND YOUR DIRTY GENERATION"
"all chaps are ass-less by design otherwise they just be leather pants" - jose_cuervo
x 5
x 335 🚽
x 4 x 1746 x 1904 - Fake cheques: $4,392,620.83
Team Woody - Ghana to Singapore - 11535km |
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Badger Grylls
Chemically Abused
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
Posts: 395
Location: Outlying Wastelands of Bolton
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 12:55 pm |
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Great Stuff B8r lets see if we can have a multi denomination Ordainment...
I wonder just how many churches we can get this tosser to join? |
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Master of Puppets
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Posts: 3294
Location: Pulling the Strings
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 4:44 pm |
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Lad wrote: |
From Harmond
To Neil
Date 19 april 2009 17:56
Subj Re: Your induction in TWAT
Hello Reverend
Thanks for devoting your time to write me back i must tell you that am happy to hear from you.
Reverend told me that you will write me i must tell you that i am intrested in becoming a memeber of the TWAT and i hope to see the registration form as soon as possible hope to hear from you soon bye
Regards:Anslem
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I'll mail him back after dinner or something. |
_________________ x4
Oke: Todger club entry submission + (Co-bait with Albator)
Last edited by Master of Puppets on Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:49 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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B8er
Associate Boomdazzler
Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Posts: 13625
Location: In self-isolation practicing social distancing
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:21 pm |
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@ MoP SNAP
multi-faith Lad wrote: |
Hello
Thanks for your email hell i will like to tell you that am intrested in that since i can run the church well i will like to tell you also that it will be good to tell me more about the church so that i can know exactly what to do hope to hear from you soon bye
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_________________ "I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
"YOU ARE WALKING DEAD MAN. YOUR WOODEN COFFIN IS READY TO SWALLOW YOU AND YOUR DIRTY GENERATION"
"all chaps are ass-less by design otherwise they just be leather pants" - jose_cuervo
x 5
x 335 🚽
x 4 x 1746 x 1904 - Fake cheques: $4,392,620.83
Team Woody - Ghana to Singapore - 11535km |
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Master of Puppets
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Posts: 3294
Location: Pulling the Strings
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:33 pm |
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Badger Grylls
Chemically Abused
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
Posts: 395
Location: Outlying Wastelands of Bolton
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:41 pm |
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Very Keen Lad indeed...almost makes me suspicious
Anyway he wrote
Quote: |
Dear Rev Hugh,
How are you, hope you are fine well thanks for your email i must tell you that i really appriciated it and i will also like you to tell me more about the church for i have made up my mind to start imidiately so that i can win more people> hope to hear from you soon Rev please do enlight me on how to do this and hope you help in the building of the church here in NIgeria . I will provide every detail about myself that you and the entire church will like to know about me hope to hear from you soon bye.
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I think we will need his whole sordid life story....
And in reply to my other character herbie
Quote: |
Hello Herbert
how are you thanks for your email well am intrested and i will send your any information about my self that you wish to know hope to hear from you soon bye
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And Finally From my third character Pastor Bates
Quote: |
Hello Pastor Bates
How are you today thanks for your email i must tell you that you are among those that God have bless i must tell you that i want to complete my education and become a pastor so that i can becoming what God has destined for me dear Pastor you can assist me by funding my education with any amount you can give me nothing is to small in the sight of God and i pray that God almight will reward you in abondance. hope to hear from you soon for you are my hope bye for now and once again my the Lord bless you and be with you. Thanks
Regards:Anslem
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Only trouble is I haven't actually got a church for Pastor Bates and TW4T is already covered . Does anyone want to play the pastor with an alternative church??????? |
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Esq
Poster Boi
Joined: 22 Apr 2008
Posts: 684
Location: MHC6 HQ, Australia
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:36 pm |
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i am happy to recruit him into the M1lk and H0ney Church 0f G0d?
or my newly formed We5t African To55er Church? |
_________________ =Mr Thomas (MHC6 Lagos) Lagos - Contonou
=Mr James (MHC6 Lagos) Lagos - Contonou
= I knew that MHC6 is one of the wonders in the World,and all of us have to exprience it,and understand it - Okunlola O. Thomas FMHC6
I WAS AT THE NOVOTEL ORISHA HOTEL TILL 11 PM THAT DAY AND I WAS TOLD BY THE HOTEL STAFFS THAT I CAN NOT SPEND A NIGHT THERE AND I HAVE TO LEAVE AND WHENT TO THE NIGERIA EMBASSY THERE IN COTONOU TO STAY TILL THE FOLLOWING DAY AND I CALLED YOU THE FOLLOWING DAY AND YOU ASKED ME TO RETURN BACK TO NIGERIA WHICH I DID AND THAT HAS BEING MY WOST DAYS IN LIFE AS WAS EXPOSED TO A FULL TIME DIFFICITIES. - Augus5tine J4m35 |
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Badger Grylls
Chemically Abused
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
Posts: 395
Location: Outlying Wastelands of Bolton
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:43 pm |
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Thank you Esq....please begin the ordination process
Lets see if we can get him ordained into 3 churches..a real triple whammy |
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Master of Puppets
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Posts: 3294
Location: Pulling the Strings
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 9:45 pm |
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I'd love him standing in front of our pyramid with a bread on his head and a fish in his mouth or whatever the other churches' ritual(s) will be |
_________________ x4
Oke: Todger club entry submission + (Co-bait with Albator)
Last edited by Master of Puppets on Sun Apr 19, 2009 10:17 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Badger Grylls
Chemically Abused
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
Posts: 395
Location: Outlying Wastelands of Bolton
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Posted:
Sun Apr 19, 2009 10:16 pm |
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I was searching for Esq's previous posts to do some home work, when I typed his name into the search field and hit enter this appeared
Search found 419 matches
Its an Omen I tell you..... |
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Badger Grylls
Chemically Abused
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
Posts: 395
Location: Outlying Wastelands of Bolton
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Posted:
Mon Apr 20, 2009 12:34 pm |
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I thought we needed some background on the Lad. I have asked him for his life story
Quote: |
Dear 4nslem
Dear brother in Christ I hope that R3verend Ph0rmi is in touch with you soon, as soon as I heard about you unfortunate condition over there in Nigeria I personally visited R3v Ph0rmi and had very frank and quick intercourse with him about your potential missionary position.
Please we are all very interested to know all about you, your life , your family, your commitment to god and most of all tell us about your struggles and how you cope with them?
I must go now I must attend the ceremony of oral rapture to make sure all the alter boys are ready to be filled with the holy spirit . The most promising students can expect to recieve much fulfilment in the shape of our Lords mighty staff.
You will be in our prayers Brother 4nslem.
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_________________ x2
My life is finshed, please Sir tell me what to do, since the day you let me know the death of Hugh Janus.......Mary Jane Ben
Fuck you Fuck you keep your TWAT I opens my own TWAT......Naomi Alyiou |
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Master of Puppets
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Posts: 3294
Location: Pulling the Strings
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Posted:
Mon Apr 20, 2009 2:44 pm |
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Anslem wrote: |
hello Reverend Neil Phormi
Thanks for your email well i will get back to you as soon as i scanned the filled form ok thats once again for your email and may the peace of the lord be with you
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Who provided him with the password? I sure as hell didn't. I guess he'll be back with another e-mail soon. |
_________________ x4
Oke: Todger club entry submission + (Co-bait with Albator) |
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Badger Grylls
Chemically Abused
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
Posts: 395
Location: Outlying Wastelands of Bolton
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Posted:
Mon Apr 20, 2009 4:30 pm |
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He didnt get if from me
I dont think he's even looked at them yet
Or going back to my earlier suspicions that this guy is just too easy.
Thinking BADGER and I dont mean me
His IP resolves to a satellite provider in the US |
_________________ x2
My life is finshed, please Sir tell me what to do, since the day you let me know the death of Hugh Janus.......Mary Jane Ben
Fuck you Fuck you keep your TWAT I opens my own TWAT......Naomi Alyiou
Last edited by Badger Grylls on Mon Apr 20, 2009 4:47 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Badger Grylls
Chemically Abused
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
Posts: 395
Location: Outlying Wastelands of Bolton
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Posted:
Mon Apr 20, 2009 4:40 pm |
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Here's his story its a bit pathetic
Quote: |
Hello Rev
Thanks for your email well i was born in may 16 1985 that was the record they gave me from the ophanage home i was brought in to by a woman name Jacob Amaka so she was the one that i started answering her name i went to nusary school and started talking about God when i had the story of how saul became pual on his way to damasscus so i was fully convince that God has a purpose for me to serve him so then i realised that i have a dream but when i finished my nusary school and started my primary i started following the Jehovah witness in there preaching and sprading of Gods word then after that i was 9years then i find out that i am capable to take care of myself and other in the home so i left the home but today i tell you today that i was about to loss my hope until i write you and you reply me so i was full of joy and happiness that is where i will like to stop for now since i do not have much time here hope to hear from you soon bye |
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_________________ x2
My life is finshed, please Sir tell me what to do, since the day you let me know the death of Hugh Janus.......Mary Jane Ben
Fuck you Fuck you keep your TWAT I opens my own TWAT......Naomi Alyiou |
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Master of Puppets
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Posts: 3294
Location: Pulling the Strings
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Posted:
Mon Apr 20, 2009 4:43 pm |
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I'd love him to explain how Saul became Paul (I'm not a religious expert and too lazy to google, did something like that really happen and what's the idea behind it?). Might be a good one for a lot of jokes/complications.
I'm also interested to know what happened between when he was 9 and the present day... |
_________________ x4
Oke: Todger club entry submission + (Co-bait with Albator) |
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Badger Grylls
Chemically Abused
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
Posts: 395
Location: Outlying Wastelands of Bolton
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Posted:
Mon Apr 20, 2009 5:04 pm |
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I was hoping for some heart wrenching details describing the slums of his hometown.. and some nasty little anecdotes about how he survived on the streets as a 9 yr old boy... |
_________________ x2
My life is finshed, please Sir tell me what to do, since the day you let me know the death of Hugh Janus.......Mary Jane Ben
Fuck you Fuck you keep your TWAT I opens my own TWAT......Naomi Alyiou |
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Master of Puppets
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Posts: 3294
Location: Pulling the Strings
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Posted:
Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:05 pm |
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Badger Grylls
Chemically Abused
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
Posts: 395
Location: Outlying Wastelands of Bolton
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Posted:
Wed Apr 22, 2009 8:39 pm |
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He's not replying to anything....I 've mailed him today from all 3 characters but he aint replying.....
Let us Pray Brother N3il that nothing too trivial has happened to him.. |
_________________ x2
My life is finshed, please Sir tell me what to do, since the day you let me know the death of Hugh Janus.......Mary Jane Ben
Fuck you Fuck you keep your TWAT I opens my own TWAT......Naomi Alyiou |
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B8er
Associate Boomdazzler
Joined: 16 Feb 2009
Posts: 13625
Location: In self-isolation practicing social distancing
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Posted:
Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:51 am |
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He hasn't replied to me either. |
_________________ "I DENOUNCE THE MUFFIN MEN" - Ma Kim
"YOU ARE WALKING DEAD MAN. YOUR WOODEN COFFIN IS READY TO SWALLOW YOU AND YOUR DIRTY GENERATION"
"all chaps are ass-less by design otherwise they just be leather pants" - jose_cuervo
x 5
x 335 🚽
x 4 x 1746 x 1904 - Fake cheques: $4,392,620.83
Team Woody - Ghana to Singapore - 11535km |
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Badger Grylls
Chemically Abused
Joined: 26 Mar 2009
Posts: 395
Location: Outlying Wastelands of Bolton
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Posted:
Thu Apr 23, 2009 6:56 am |
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Not good
But on a positive note if he isnt replying to anyone maybe he has had some horrible e mail destroying accident..... |
_________________ x2
My life is finshed, please Sir tell me what to do, since the day you let me know the death of Hugh Janus.......Mary Jane Ben
Fuck you Fuck you keep your TWAT I opens my own TWAT......Naomi Alyiou |
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Master of Puppets
Baiting Guru
Joined: 12 Mar 2009
Posts: 3294
Location: Pulling the Strings
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Posted:
Thu Apr 23, 2009 7:29 am |
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