Atlantis Bait - *** JACKSON POWELL / DICKBOI'S FOLLY***

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Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 12:05 pm

This just in:

Quote:

Captain,

I strongly recommend that you make payment today so we can get started with the Custodian Management account opening. We need to allow at least 5 days for necessary account set up processing to take effect before our meeting. To this end, all the account application documents would have been made available for your signatory upon your (our) arrival in Ghana, not otherwise. Don't you get it? Captain there is no need having to wait! The point is if we have to meet by April 20th, it is highly imperative that you make payment today so that the retrieval processes can start off immediately upon receipt by Behn's bank and then on-forwarded to their corresponding African bank for collection by the Sudanese bank representative for the investment purpose meant for. This includes other arrangements on my part!

I guarantee that you won't regret going into this Sudan Power Investment Deal. You will be impressed at the end! This is not the time for you to sound less confidence,or seek further advices before you act probably because you are unsure of my capabilities in the investment brokerage services. Sir Char1es would not recommend me to attend to your investment goals or interest if he didn't have confidence in the sort of investment services I provided to AALA clients at large (both in the past and present) and our clients in general. On the bright side, I had like you to know that I will not have you invest in any unhealthy environment or if it isn't viable. My greatest concern for my clients is to build them a great financial future- financial empowerment that creates room for great riches beyond their wildest dreams!

Regarding the Sudan P0wer Dea1, this is my secure advise: If you like we can get this account set up NOW- in the understanding that you will make payment TODAY, and if in the nearer future it turns out that you aren't satisfied with my investment expertise or services probably after our meeting in Ghana, I will have the authorities re-transfer the original investment account funds from the Custodian investment management (Capital account status) to back in liquidity directly to your US-based account within 3-4 days.

Captain my concern is; I would not tell people that we are meeting at a particular date in future and yet disappoint them. That is no professional if you get what I mean! Remember if we don't meet by April 20th I would have cancelled our appointment twice! And you know what? Dr. 0guns and his company associates might not take us seriously again. Needless to say, the security forces in Accra are anxiously awaiting for me so that we can organise and strategize and perfect ways to guarantee your safe upon your visit in Ghana. What do you think they had feel if I don't turn up as I promised. The security forces are surely going to pick you from the airport and head you straight to the hotel I shall have made booking for you two.

The sooner you can make this payment, the better position we stand to close this deal earliest.

Hope my e-mail finds you well.

Anxiety is just seeping from this...

But Mal has lost confidence in Dickie after the "hacking".

Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 12:47 pm

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Well Dickboi sent Sir C a couple of messages, pleading to be given another chance to prove his worth. I traced the IPs to Enugu in central/eastern Nigeria, which I think is near his home base.

We then had a nice chat. I think he missed me. Very Happy

As ever, the matter of imaginary friends came up - watch him squirm!!! But I saved the real sting in the tail for the end... Twisted Evil

Quote:

10:26 dickboi: Good Morning Sir
Hope you enjoyed your Easter Holiday?
me: RIGHT CLOVE - TELL ME EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED.
10:27 dickboi: OK SIR
sorry small letter
me: lower case, boi
10:28 dickboi: Every e-mail I tried to send since Tuesday last week was intercepted and delivered in technical jargons and in asci codes too
This way I could not have met Weatherm4n
I have been finding ways to communicate with Captain.
Lucky enough I was able to use an encryption service to e-mail him.
10:29 He is waiting for your advice to pay in the $1 million for the Cust0dian Management Account and then so we can meet by April 20.
I promise to be very loyal to you and I will also make very good fortune for A4LA if you allow me to strive in this business I created
10:30 Also, I have been reading e-mails from Emil's father
Gunt3r Tischbein
10:31 He is very angry that I have not yet delivered on my promise to get his son his t-shirts
He advised me to write him e-mails from 3 different cafes yet it hasn't worked
10:32 me: IS THAT EVERYTHING?
dickboi: I haven't heard from Weatherm4n since this whole problem started.
Yes Sir.
10:33 I really don't know if your IT people has been intercepting my e-mails or if it was Mb0g0, lord knows
10:34 me: SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. WHAT YOU ARE TELLING ME IS THAT WHILE I HAVE RISKED MY LIFE OVER THE PAST WEEK IN SOMALIA NEGOTIATING WITH A BUNCH OF BEARDED LUNATICS TO BUY THE CONTENTS OF FOUR FREIGHT SHIPS FOR 10% OF THEIR MARKET VALUE, YOU HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIX YOUR E-MAIL ACCOUNT?
10:36 dickboi: How can I sir? Rolling Eyes

I no technical savvy
I tried everything possible but no way out.
Unless you advise me.
Remember you are the boss and have IT people working for A4LA
10:37 me: YOU JUST DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?
dickboi: I sorry Sir.
I understood you took the greater risk than I.
10:38 But the point is I really can't figure out what the problem was.
no matter how much I tried.
I no technician please have mercy on Poor Clave Sir.
10:39 me: CLOVE WHAT HAVE YOU EVER ACHIEVED FOR ME?
10:40 dickboi: Honestly nothing yet, but I have great potentials to achieve a lot for A4LA
And I not happy about that either.
10:41 But I certain Captain Malc0lm is going to pay $ 1 million today for us.
I spent 3 sleepless nights to get him the Investment Documents
The National Electricity C0rporation, Sudan Very Happy

10:42 me: AND IF HE DOESN'T PAY US $1MILLION TODAY?
dickboi: N3CS for short.
He sure will sir. I think he is waiting for your advice.
Remember you are the boss.
10:43 Just e-mail him and cc me that he should go ahead with the Sudan P0wer Deal it is viable
I have worked very hard on Captain Malc0lm for us to fail.
10:44 We are going to succeed exceeding on Captain.
Captain needs security force protections in Ghana
10:45 I going to perfect that as soon as he makes payment today.
me: HOW MUCH DID YOU CHOP FROM WEATHERM4N?
dickboi: Nothing yet.
Heaven knows.
We haven't been communicating since my e-mails have been intercepted.
10:46 And I haven't heard from him in days.
I don't know what is wrong.
me: DO YOU HAVE A TELEPHONE CLOVE?
10:47 dickboi: For now I don't
I lost my phone a few days ago but I going to get one today.
10:48 and I will give you the number.
me: SO A PERSON WHO WANTS TO WORK FOR ME HAS NO PHONE AND NO E-MAIL?
dickboi: Don't look at it that way Sir.
10:49 Of course I have phone and e-mail
Those are the essential tools for communication.
me: THEN I SUGGEST YOU ARRANGE TO MEET MR WEATHERM4N AND TAKE HIS MONEY.
10:50 dickboi: Phone is no big deal.
But e-mail is my problem now.
How can you help me fix this problem with your IT people Sir?
me: CLOVE I NOT A F*CKING IT HELP DESK.
dickboi: Ok sorry sir!
10:51 me: SO HOW ARE YOU GOING TO CHOP WEATHERM4N AND THE CAPTAIN?
dickboi: Captain is certain but Weatherm4n for now is not certain.
Here is my plan for good Captain.
10:52 First, he is going to pay $ 1 million so that he could have a Custodian Investment Management Account. Through this account, his investment income can be payable.
10:53 and the account will be a US dollars account so there won't be any problem of foreign exchanges issues
As soon as he pays this money, I going to send you $500,000 immediately
He will be arrving Ghana with $120,000 for legal and retainers fees.
10:54 He will be here to sign off some of the account opening documents to be presented by Necs's account officer on investment issues or a Sudanese bank representative
David C0nti will be here... I going to arrive someone to play that role.
I also going to get someone to play Dr. 0guns or his PA
10:55 Captain asked me to book him two hotel rooms. He had be coming with a retired Captain to watch his back. Jay C0bbs by name
me: when will he arrive?
10:56 dickboi: April 20th is the fixed date.
10:57 I told him to make payment so the account set up processes can start now, so that upon his arrival the documents would have been available for his signatory
I insist that he makes payment today.
10:58 I think if you ask him to do the same he won't object remember he trust you very much as his professional investment counsellor
me: HE HAS REFUSED SEVERAL TIMES TO PAY INTO ONE OF YOUR STINKING BANK ACCOUNTS. SO I TOLD HIM TO PAY CASH.
10:59 dickboi: That can't be true.
He is going to pay the funds into B3hn account and he has agreed
I never gave him any stinking account.
11:00 I gave him just that account.
me: HE CHECKED OUT B3HN. HE WASN'T HAPPY.
11:01 dickboi: B3hn has a good reputation.
If he has any odds against B3hn he would have told me.
11:02 me: IF HE HAD NO ODDS AGAINST B3HN, HE WOULD HAVE ALREADY PAID US THE $1 MILLION.
dickboi: Nope Sir
11:03 He needed your final advice that's all as far as I know
If you ask him to go ahead, believe me he won't object!
I can bet my life on that.
me: I HAVE ALREADY SAID - I TOLD HIM TO PAY CASH.
11:04 dickboi: Please let's don't do cash deals- Ghana is not really safe to carry that huge cash!
I don't want the Ghanian customs raising eye brows!
11:05 me: THAT WILL NOT BE A PROBLEM
dickboi: We can change that.... it shouldn't be any difficult thing to do.
me: I CANNOT GO BACK ON MY WORD. I WOULD LOSE ALL CREDIBILITY WITH THE CAPTAIN.
dickboi: I understand.
11:06 But Sir you can pretend I have every rights as you do in the Sudan deal.
Please.
Just ask him to do whatever I say but cc you every communications.
11:07 To be very honest with you sir, I can't afford the hotel bills, lobbying the security officials at my cost.
I needed to get some of this money so I can perfect this arrangement prior to his visit here.
Try to understand me.
11:08 The Weatherm4n Abidjan business took 80% of my little income.
11:09 I have also promised Emi1 that he would have his t-shirts latest by April 25
I need to be able to get Captain's money so I can quickly work on it now that his father has interest in the roller coaster building more than it was before.
me: CLOVE I HAVE MADE VERY DETAILED ARRANGEMENTS WITH THE CAPTAIN ABOUT HOW TO GET THE CASH SAFELY INTO GHANA. AND I WILL MAKE VERY DETAILED ARRANGEMENTS WITH YOU AS TO HOW TO GET IT OUT OF GHANA 100% RISKY FREE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
11:10 DO YOU?
11:11 dickboi: OK
But I not happy with that arrangement.
I have to be very honest with you.
me: THE ONLY REASON YOU WOULD NOT BE HAPPY IS IF YOU DO NOT TRUST THESE PEOPLE YOU ARE GETTING TO WORK WITH YOU.
11:12 dickboi: That is not it Sir.
The problem is it will be difficult to transfer your share to you.
11:13 That is why I wanted us to do it via bank so your 50% share can be remitted immediately.
me: I WILL ARRANGE EVERYTHING. BY THE WAY, YOU ARE GOING TO MEET THE CAPTAIN YOURSELF, FACE TO FACE - AREN'T YOU?
11:14 dickboi: I will
Remember you asked me to work Captain all by myself now why are you going to make all arrangements for me?
11:15 It doesn't right at all.
11:16 How can you be driving my own car while I on the steering wheel from your own office?
me: YOUR METHODS ONLY RESULT IN ONE THING - FAILURE. ANYWAY, I ONLY GOING TO TELL YOU HOW TO GET THE MONEY SAFELY BACK TO NIGERIA. I ASSUME THAT ONCE IT IS THERE, YOU CAN PAY IT INTO ANY BANK ACCOUNT I NOMINATE?
11:17 dickboi: I DON'T DO HUGE TRANSFERS OUT OF NIGERIA- EFCC THING
I don't operate from Nigeria.
11:18 especially large fundings.
deals
My method will NEVER FAIL if you let me manage this deal in a safe way. Can you give me one last chance
If I ever fail, I will cease to be A4LA associate.
11:19 me: OK - SO WHERE WILL YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CASH, IF NOT NIGERIA?
dickboi: I can leave the money in Ghana
it is safer in Ghana than Nigeria
11:20 me: IT WOULD BE ACCEPTABLE IF YOU COULD HIDE IT SOMEWHERE SAFE. ANY IDEAS?
11:21 dickboi: It will be safe in a local hotel room where there are no cameras
but my problem is how do I send your share??????
me: ONE OF MY PEOPLE WILL COLLECT IT LATER. SO A HOTEL ROOM WILL BE USELESS.
11:22 dickboi: Don't worry I going to get it safe.
me: I WILL WORK OUT A MODALITY AND GET BACK TO YOU.
WHEN ARE YOU LEAVING FOR GHANA?
11:23 dickboi: As soon as I can arrange monies for Captain's Security and his hotel booking
11:24 Maybe this weekend.
me: I SAID "WHEN"
dickboi: this weekend
Sunday
me: HOW MANY OF YOU WILL BE TRAVELLING?
dickboi: I will be in Ghana by Sunday.
11:25 I and Charles...I have two good associates in Ghana
to play other roles..
I going to prepare their scripts on what roles to play
11:26 I have already told them about it.
me: WHO ARE THESE TWO OTHER PEOPLE? ARE THEY IMAGINARY FRIENDS LIKE CHARLES?
11:27 dickboi: Not imaginary- real people!
Imaginary are email works but face to face requires real persons
You get.
11:28 I not stupid to make stupid or disappointing arrangements! Wink

You can trust me, I will deliver!
me: I CANNOT TOLERATE ANOTHER CLOVE COCK-UP. I WANT TO BRIEF ALL FOUR OF YOU WITH THE MODALITIES. I WILL ORGANISE A GROUP CHAT.
dickboi: Leave every plans to me.
Charles is not here.
11:29 And the two guys are not here.
Let me know whatever it is and I going to pass it on
when we all gather together.
You can trust me. Don'try treat me like some gutter boi who can't take instructions.
11:30 me: I THE OGA. I WILL BRIEF EVERYONE. THAT IS WHY WE NEED TO CHAT ON THE INTERNET CLOVE.
dickboi: I alone here.
11:31 me: MAKE ARRANGEMENTS FOR A GROUP CHAT AT 09:00 UK TIME TOMORROW MORNING.
dickboi: it won't be possible Sir
This guys are not googlechat people
me: WTF DOES THAT MEAN?
11:32 dickboi: They don't do googlechat
Charles does.
me: WHY NOT?
dickboi: I know that for sure.
me: I SAID WHY NOT????
11:33 dickboi: because they never chat.
me: I SAID WHY NOT????!?!?!?!?
I CHAT, YOU CHAT - EVEN EDUCATED BEES CHAT!!!!
11:34 ARE THEY RETARDS?
dickboi: They never chatted before.
me: SO????
dickboi: They don't even own a googlemail.
me: SO??????????????
AND HOW DO YOU KNOW, ANYWAY?
11:35 dickboi: It won't be a proper way to address them.
I tried to chat with one of them but he told me he doesn't know what googlechat is.
the other told me he hates gmail so he doesn't have an ID
11:36 They are professional sidekicks for Captain meeting business.
11:37 The only thing they had need is instruction which I going to provide.
11:38 As soon as I can get Captain's money, I going to invest part of it in a Gold Market in Ghana, so every income will be paid directly to Captain so he doesn't see it as a scam
this way he can trust further businesses we propose.
This way, we can make more monies from him--- a typical ponsi scheme
me: CLOVE DID YOU TRY TO EXPLAIN YOUR "FRIEND" HOW GMAIL WORKS?
11:39 dickboi: I did. But he would not learn. He says it is a waste of time!
In fact he prefer phone chats.
11:40 I going to try to persuade him again.
11:41 me: SO YOU WANT ME TO ENTRUST OVER A MILLION DOLLARS IN CASH TO A MAN I HAVE NEVER SPOKEN TO, WHO CANNOT LEARN HOW TO CREATE AN E-MAIL ACCOUNT, AND WHO WILL NOT DO WHAT YOU SAY?
IS THAT YOUR CUNNING PLAN?
dickboi: Nope!
11:42 You are entrusting the money to me not anyone else.
There is no cunning plan in telling you the truth.
That was why I chosed bank transfer but you want to make it very difficult and complicating!
me: SO WHAT EXACTLY IS THE ROLE OF YOUR "FRIEND"?
dickboi: I have three people to work with me.
11:43 One is David C0nti- the attorney
I might choose another player instead of David.
11:44 Let's say one: Account Officer to Necs on foreign investment issues.
This person will present the paperworks for Captain to sign after some brief talks
11:45 me: WILL THIS BE THE RETARD, OR THE GUY WHO HATES GMAIL?
dickboi: 2nd person: Dr. 0guns H4fiz, one of Necs company directors
I have no friend who is a retard.
11:46 They are very intelligent people.
me: THE ONE WHO CAN'T LEARN TO DO THE SIMPLEST TASK - ARE YOU ASKING HIM TO IMPERSONATE A BARRISTER, OR A COMPANY DIRECTOR?
11:47 OR MAYBE A BRAIN SURGEON??
dickboi: Please don't get political about this issue.
11:48 Just leave everything in my control.
If this meeting plan ever fail remember I whom you are going to hold responsible.
so let me arrange it in my own ways.
to avoid failure!!!!
11:49 me: I WILL NOT RISK MY MONEY WITH PEOPLE WHO AT BEST DO NOT EXIST, AND AT WORST ARE RETARDS AND/OR SCAMMERS.
AND YOUR TRACK RECORD IS WORSE THAN SHITE.
11:50 SO WE WILL HAVE THAT GOOGLE CHAT TOMORROW MORNING OR THE MODALITIES ARE OFF.
dickboi: THIS CHANCE WITH CAPTAIN WILL PROVE MY TRUE SELF TO YOU.
me: I KNOW YOUR TRUE SELF. IT'S RUBBISH.
11:51 dickboi: I don't believe in so much talks!
I will pretend you aren't referring to me.
11:52 me: DON'T BOTHER
dickboi: One thing you have to be sure about is that your money will be safe after I chop Captain.
me: I CANNOT BE SURE UNLESS AND UNTIL I BRIEF EVERYONE ON THE MODALITIES. WHY CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT???
11:53 FOOL.
dickboi: I understand
11:54 but the problem is you fail to understand that this people are not vasatile as you and I
Charles can afford to google chat but these two other guys won't
me: YOU WILL EXPLAIN TO FRIEND #1 HOW GMAIL WORKS, AND YOU WILL HELP FRIEND #2 TO LEARN TO LOVE GOOGLE. IF THEY CANNOT DO THAT, THEY HAVE NO PLACE WORKING ON ONE OF MY TRADES. AND IF YOU CANNOT DO THAT, THEN YOU WILL NEVER WORK FOR ME AGAIN. UNDERSTAND???
11:56 dickboi: I will try.
If they refuse I might get other trusted people from Nigeria
Charles friends.
My concern is that it is very expensive to carry 3 men from here.
I can't afford it!
11:57 if two men are in Ghana already, it is cheaper for me.
12:01 PM me: AND ONE FINAL THING - MB0G0 HAS A COUSIN IN ENUGU WHO HAS BEEN TELING HIM ALL ABOUT YOU. FOOL! MB0G0 WANTS YOU DEAD, CLOVE. I HAVE TOLD HIM TO HOLD BACK UNTIL I SEE HOW WELL YOU DO WITH THE CAPTAIN. MB0G0 WANTED TO TELL THE CAPTAIN THAT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO CHOPPED HIM IN NEW YORK, SO THAT THE CAPTAIN WOULD KILL YOU AND MB0G0'S HANDS WOULD BE CLEAN - BUT I TOLD HIM NOT TO BECAUSE THEN I WOULD LOSE THE CAPTAIN AND HAVE TO KILL MB0G0, WHICH I WOULD NOT ENJOY. THINK ABOUT IT, CLOVE... YOU CANNOT AFFORD TO FAIL HERE. IF THE CAPTAIN DOES NOT CREATE ANY VALUE FOR ME, THEN NEITHER CAN YOU. SO CHOOSE YOUR IMAGINARY FRIENDS VERY CAREFULLY. AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY HELP WHILE IT IS STILL AVAILABLE.
12:04 PM dickboi: I WILL DO MY BEST!
12:05 PM REMEMBER THE MEETING IS APRIL 2OTH
I not scared of Mb0g0 one bit
he owes me $250,000
12:06 PM if he doesn't pay me he will continue to be in my death list
period.
me: OK - GMAIL CHAT BRIEFING SESSION 09:00 UK TIME TOMORROW MORNING. E-MAIL ME IN ADVANCE THE DETAILS OF THE ROLES THAT EACH PERSON WILL BE PLAYING. THAT IS ALL FOR NOW. SIR CH4RLES.
12:07 PM dickboi: OK.
Bye for now.

So, how many of dickboi's imaginary friends will show up for our group chat tomorrow morning?

And what about the hiding place for all that lovely money in Ghana? Of course dickboi will have to prepare it before I authorise the handover. And I will need photographic proof... Any suggestions, anyone?? Very Happy

Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 2:10 pm

A monument of faith with a secret stashing place.

Have them build a underground tunnel/hole somewhere.

A hollow tree.

Below the loose floorboards

That big, big buried safe he has in his back yard (He hasn't got that? Well... have him buy and bury it)

His butt or other bodily orifices

Not quite a Newb Joined: 18 Mar 2009 Posts: 41

I love your Googlechats! You yell at him to write in small letters while you CAP everything...I love that irony!

"WILL THIS BE THE RETARD, OR THE GUY WHO HATES GMAIL? "

This will be the last time I open this thread in a coffee shop, the stares I received after my laughter were quite embarrassing!

Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 7:57 pm

You're mean, in a good way Smile

Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 9:33 pm

Quote:

And what about the hiding place for all that lovely money in Ghana?

How about inside one of the cannons at the Cape Coast Castle Monument? It's his problem dealing with them when he finds they are capped off.

Ninastian, I don't know if you are a William Gibson fan, but you are the Wintermute to dickboi's Armitage.

Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 9:52 pm

Sir C has just put Dickie on notice, and Mal sent this to both:

Quote:

I'll get the flight confirmed as soon as your meeting is done and I have the details in place.

Thanks for putting Joseph at my service - though Jay will be watching my back and Mr H3ad has promised ample security as well.

BTW - Mr H3ead; you didn't send me their pictures and skill sets. I definitely want those before I leave!

I wouldn't mind another trophy out of this guy before the safari.

Meanwhile I told the US Confederate:

Quote:

The deal is going ahead but without you, so you're not needed. Mr H3ad can do the explaining.

@bohigal; nice idea. We should tell him there's a special mark on the tompion (the muzzle plug) of the one where the money's hidden.

Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 11:36 pm

With any luck he'll fall off the wall while checking all the tampions, or at least get bordered by suspicious security guards.

Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:58 am

Exactly!

Now what obscure mark should we tell him to find?

Trophy Videos · Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 9:37 am

Why, "X" marks the spot, of course! That's on all the pirate treasure maps. Laughing

Sir Charles has Dickboi in a chat with his "associates" who will be involved in the Ghana transaction with Malcolm right now. Funny chat session coming soon! Very Happy

Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 9:39 am

I don't think it should be an obvious mark.

Tell him that the relevant cannon has been marked with an invisible marker and he will need to wipe the covers over with some sort of chemical to reveal the mark. Hopefully he'll be nicked for vandalism.

Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 10:06 am

B8er wrote:

he will need to wipe the covers over with some sort of chemical to reveal the mark. Hopefully he'll be nicked for vandalism.

urine gets my vote having had to eat some rancid concoction to activate certain bodily defences

Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 11:12 am

Gee ninastian, any more of these chats and I am looking for an other job.

They could hear me laughing three stories up.

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

^^^^^^^^^

OK Marcus - time for that career move... Very Happy

This morning lad sent me a quite detailed summary of the five characters that he has created for the Captain's safari. I will not post it here for reasons of time, but suffice it to say I was getting a bit worried that I had been educating the lad into becoming a half competent fraud star. There were five characters, each with names, background stories and clear-ish roles to play. What had I created here? Embarassed

As you know, I had given strict instructions that at 09:00 UK time, I would lead a planning session for the five lads. Was it just possible that Dickboi had rounded up four other top-notch gmen from around the globe for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? Was I in danger of educating him in how to move his real-life scamming up to a new level of sophistication?

Well...

Quote:

9:49 Dickboi: Good Morning Boss
I sorry for keeping you waiting
Please forgive me.
me: WHY DID YOU KEEP ME WAITING?
Dickboi: I very very sorry.... I have been trying to get this associates on Gchat
9:50 Believe me it isn't easy
me: CAN YOU TELL THE TIME CLOVE?
Dickboi: It is 9:50 now
9:51 We were supposed to meet at 9
Honestly I thought it was 8:50 in the UK
at this time.
me: WHY?
Dickboi: because Nigeria is usually one hour ahead of the UK time
9:52 but to my utmost surprise it's the same now.
I was shocked when I saw it!
me: NOT HALF AS SHOCKED AS YOU'LL BE IF I LET MB0G0 GET HOLD OF YOU...
Dickboi: Then I realized I have defiled our scheduled meeting. My sincere apologies boss
9:53 Don't threaten me with Mb0g0 because he stepped on my toe and he deserves the worst treatment!
I untouchable.
9:54 Af far as I concerned, I have done no harm to Mb0g0
He owes me more than anyone else I can think of.
9:55 He is in my death list unless he pays me the $250,000 grands he owe me then we can be friends otherwise I don't care whatever he tries to do
me: RIGHT - SO WHERE ARE THESE OTHER PEOPLE? CAN THEY NOT TELL THE TIME EITHER?
Dickboi: I the lead.
They should be set now.
I have to get them within 5 minutes
9:56 I sorry boss only two of my contacts are available. Charles is not here because he yet to see his doctor. He has his eyes appointment with the doctor his morning.
He is going to play the role of CFO
9:57 I sure the roles e-mail I sent you is very clear isn't it?
me: REPEAT WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT CHARLES.
9:58 Dickboi: I said Charles has eye problem and he went to see the doctor this moning
it was a scheduled appointment so I could not stop him.
because this appointment has been postponed twice before and he could not afford to let this opportunity pass by
9:59 me: SO YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT YOU CANNOT MANAGE CHARLES?
Dickboi: Nope
I manage him well.
10:00 But the problem was that he was supposed to get here before 9(which is 10)
but he is not back yet.
Maybe he is on his way- much traffic
10:01 Charles has a very bad eye problem.
me: SO HOW THE F*CK CAN HE REPRESENT US IN ACCRA?
Dickboi: Sir don't worry!
He uses eye glasses so it won't be felt
unless he doesn't use it.
10:02 We are going to excel with Captain's meeting deal. I give you my words.
me: YES - I SURE THAT WITH THE HELP OF YOUR BLIND, IMAGINARY FRIEND, WE CANNOT BUT SUCCEED...
10:03 Dickboi: I understand what you mean.
If I say we will succeed, you must know I have put in a lot efforts, so don't be afraid entrusting this duty in my care.
10:05 me: SO WHEN IS CHARLES DUE BACK?
10:06 Dickboi: One of my contacts is on now
Any moment from now Sir.
he should be back by now- I guess he may be held by traffic
me: SO WHY DID YOU SAY HE WOULD MISS THE MEETING?
10:07 Dickboi: Because he may
I don't want to be disappointing in a moment like this
10:08 me: YOU ARE
VERY!!!
Dickboi: OK Sir. I very very sorry about that
I admit it's my fauly
fault
10:09 me: SO WHERE ARE YOUR FELLOW CLOWNS?
Dickboi: I have no contact who is a clown
Don't insult me because I being loyal to you.
10:10 me: CLOVE I HAVE ALREADY WASTED AN HOUR, AND ALL THAT SEEMS TO BE HAPPENING IS I AM BEING DISRESPECTED AND TREATED LIKE A FOOL.
Dickboi: I sorry
Now let's begin
at least 2 contacts are here
10:11 me: WTF DO YOU MEAN "AT LEAST 2"????? CAN YOU COUNT????
Dickboi: They are supposed to be 3 and that includes Charles
10:12 but two are present now.
Please let's get the meeting started while Charles gets here or not.
I hope he is here soon.
me: WELL GO ON THEN - GET THOSE F*CKING PEOPE INTO THE CHAT!!!!! I CAN'T DO IT!!!!!!!!
10:13 Dickboi: OK sir
10:14 me: I AM WAITING...

[Here they are, folks!!!!!]

Shell***@gmail.com has joined
Batt***@gmail.com has joined

me: SO WHO ARE YOU?
10:15 Dickboi: Sir I have invited two characters to play David C0nti and Dr. Hafiz 0guns
I already gave them the scipts so I sure they can explain themselves to you.
10:16 me: WHO SAID THAT?
Dickboi: It's me. Clave
Batt: I'm David C0nti
10:17 Dickboi: You are not David C0nti- say you are playing that role.... Batt
me: WHY HAVE YOU CHANGED ACCOUNTS CLOVE?
Dickboi: Nope.
I haven't changed accounts.
10:18 I still here--- Batt is a different person.
Batt: Ok then
Dickboi: Please don't accuse me of what I didn't do.
We are supposed to be four people here!!!!!
Batt: I guess we are
Dickboi: Sky you are not saying anything.
10:19 Shell: hello
Dickboi: Good
Shell don't make it look like I talking to myself alone!!!
10:20 Sir Ch4rles you are leading this conference
Where do we go from here?
Remember you are the BOSS

[I'm dying for a coffee, so I try a ploy...]

10:21 me: CLOVE I WOULD LIKE YOU TO CHAIR THIS CONFERENCE FROM NOW ON. EXPLAIN TO THE LADS WHO I AM, WHAT I DO, AND THE BACKGROUND TO THE CAPTAIN'S TRADE. THEN EXPLAIN TO THEM THEIR ROLES, AND MAKE SURE THEY ARE FULLY PREPARED. FINALLY, DEAL WITH ANY QUESTIONS THEY MAY HAVE. OVER TO YOU CLOVE...

[At this point Dickboi obviously panics and drops out of the chat]

10:26 Dickboi: You've been invited to this chat room!
10:27 Dickboi: Somehow the previous googlegroup chat isn't working

[Well, I want to find out how many of them there are, so...]

me: GO ON THEN. EVERYONE SAY "HELLO"
Dickboi: Hello
10:28 Batt: Hello
Shell: Hello
me: ALL TOGETHER THIS TIME... "HELLO"
Dickboi: HELLO
Shell: HELLO
Batt: Hello

[Pretty well coordinated, and one of them in lower case, so I would guess that Dickboi has joined forces with at least one other lad, and between them they have got more than one PC running at the cybercafe. This is confirmed by some of the long pauses and the ridiuclous cues that follow...]

Dickboi: nice! [He’s pleased with himself for surviving the first test, I think!]
me: SHELL - WHERE ARE YOU TODAY?
10:29 Shell: i in Romania
me: AND YOU BATT?
Batt: I'm In Cyprus
10:30 me: AND YOU CLOVE?
Dickboi: I in Nigeria
10:31 Now Batt and Shell, Sir Ch4rles is my boss. He is the owner and senior legal advocate of Anglo 4frican Law 4ssociate in the UK
I one of his associates.
me: SHELL - WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS MODALITIES?
10:32 Dickboi: Over to you Shell.
me: SHELL YOU DON'T HAVE TO WAIT TO BE INVITED TO CONTRIBUTE...
Shell: well clove told me to play a role for him in a very rewarding business; and he gave me the script to study and I studying.
10:33 in the role, i ought to be Dr Hafiz 0gun
Dickboi: ok go on.
me: AND WHO IS HE?
10:34 Dickboi: Don't waste time in responding to questions my friend
Shell: WELL Dr Hafiz is a retired Captain from US , who also indulges in a couple other small legal selling business in Romania
10:35 me: SELLING WHAT?
Dickboi: who is selling stuffs
10:36 me: "STUFFS"?!?!?!?
Shell: it a small electronic shop thats all
me: HE SELLS SMALL ELECTRONIC SHOPS?
10:37 Dickboi: Shell I didn't invite you to tell us about your small businesses in Romania
Shell: i sell
10:38 i know but i thought he asked what i do in Romania
Dickboi: Nope!
Shell: okay my bad
10:39 Dickboi: OK.
This is a very important session as the meeting with our good captain so you have to be focused and well co-ordinated!
No cock ups!
and Batt that applies to you.
10:40 Batt: It is alright..
Dickboi: Good.
Shell: it wont repeat again..i just got adjusted now ...
Dickboi: I can always rely on you.
Good.
Sir Ch4rles please you can Continue
I sincerely apologize for the little discrepancy
10:41 on the part of Shell---- maybe his mind was engrossed with his small electronic businesses and the peanut he makes for a living
10:42 me: ER... SO WHAT DOES DR 0GUNS SELL?
Batt: Well, I dont sell
me: SORRY???!?!?!?
Shell: he sells investment advice
me: HANG ON A MINUTE - WHAT DID YOU SAY, BATT?
10:43 Batt: Thought it was meant for me..
My mistake
Go on Shell..
Shell: well as i was saying, he sells investment advice as a company director....
10:44 Dickboi: Go on Shell
Shell: i still reading the script
10:45 but i know one thing for sure, that i going to play the role i given perfectly well
especially after studying the script,..
Dickboi: Good.
Shell: i a good communicator
10:46 me: THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW, SHELL.
TELL ME - HAVE YOU EVER ACTED BEFORE - YOU KNOW, PRETENDED TO BE SOMEONE YOU'RE NOT?
10:47 Shell: well, yes i hav
me: TELL ME MORE...
Shell: i started out as a telemarketer,
10:48 it was a sc deal but it doesnt pay much i would say
i meet clients face to face
which is very important to excel in this arear
me: ACTUALLY, I MEANT ACTING - YOU KNOW - ON THE STAGE...
10:50 Dickboi: Where are you Shell
Shell: okay..well even in that too i excel considerably well, i able to meet people face to fac and make them believe what ever it is they have to , to get money out..
Dickboi: You are not responding.
Shell: but i dont think it is a criminal act
i would say it is only a wise mans game
10:51 me: WHAT - ACTING?
Shell: i havent acted on the stage
but i cn act on the stage if it will pay off
pay off well - that is
10:52 me: HOW CONFIDENT ARE YOU THAT YOU CAN CARRY OUT THE ROLE OF DR 0GUNS AND NOT BE FOUND OUT AS A FRAUD STAR?
Shell: rest assured , i 100% confident!
10:53 especially for as long as i have a well -guided script to study
10:54 considering that Clove sent me one already, you should have no problem Sir
and one more thing, i never leave traces in my dealings
me: THAT'S GOOD. YOU'VE GOT THE JOB!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! AND HOW WILL YOU GET FROM CYPRUS TO ACCRA? WHEN WILL YOU ARRIVE?
I NEED SOME PREPARATORY WORK TO BE DONE THERE.
10:55 Shell: Sir, From Romania to Accra you mean?...
me: SORRY - ROMANIA
Batt: I wanted to make the correction too
Its ok now, go on Shell
10:56 Shell: ok ..well
i will cover all the fee and any cost of transport back to Accra..
10:57 Dickboi: Yes shell I assure you that
Shell: and i must say i pleased . to be given a chance Sir
Dickboi: as soon as we triumph on Captain I going to reward you immensely
You should have nothing to worry
me: SHELL I ASKED YOU A QUESTION...
10:58 Shell: but i was wondering, will i be told what preparatory steps have to be taken?
me: YES - BUT PLEASE TELL ME WHEN YOU WILL GET TO ACCRA.
Shell: sorry Sir, Well i will arrive on Sunday unfailingly
10:59 Dickboi: Nice
Shell: before 8pm ( Ghana time)
me: HOW DO YOU KNOW?
Dickboi: Good as scheduled
me: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WILL ARRIVE, SHELL?
11:00 Shell: well it is written there on the flight Schedules
so i sure of that
me: HAVE YOU ALREADY GOT A TICKET?
11:01 Shell: i will first fly from bucharest to Lagos, then from there i can fly to Accra it is just one hour from Lagos
me: HAVE YOU ALREADY GOT A TICKET?
11:02 Dickboi: When are you going to get your ticket Shell
Remember you told me today isn't it?
Shell: well as for now, i dont have it yet but i will get it this afternoon , so as to avoid any rush or delays
Dickboi: Please respond to that request.
11:03 ok great!
Shell: yes today i will
Dickboi: Nice.
Shell: i promise
me: ONE OTHER THING SHELL - WHAT NATIONALITY ARE YOU?
[lllllooooonnnnngggg pause…!]
THINK CAREFULLY...
[still conferring…]
11:04 TOUGH QUESTION, EH?
[more silence…]
ANY IDEA?
Shell: i Nigerian
Tough Question? [obviously, yes!]
11:05 me: SO HOW DID YOU END UP IN ROMANIA?
Dickboi: You are not fast Shell
11:06 Shell: well i not based permanently here in Romania i must say, and i came with a few other colleagues during a time when we we promised some good job offers here
i had to choos to come to Romania or Cyprus
i chose Romania
11:07 me: AND BATT CHOSE CYPRUS, EH?
Shell: yep
Dickboi: Batt and Shell are good friends
and they are my buddies too
Batt: You can say that again..
11:08 Dickboi: They are very reliable contacts I can trust in such deals as that of Captain undertaken
me: OLD CHUMS - THAT'S NICE. SO IF YOU ARE NIGERIAN, SHELL, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PRETEND TO BE AN AMERICAN?
WHAT ARE AMERICANS LIKE?
11:10 Shell: well, like i said i have got what it takes, the magnitude of the job at hand doesnt faze me, but i will appreciate any advice or tips i can get in addition too......because i have come to realise that
Americans are usually very self -confident in their speeches and very informative too
bottom line is..
11:11 it wouldnt be a hard nut to crack
Dickboi: Go on Shell I impressed! That's my boi!
Shell: Well you know all i can do you can tell him too
11:12 me: GO ON...
11:13 Shell: well like i said Clove knows it is not a task that is too much for me to handle...ret assured it will all go down well, i give my word
Dickboi: Sir can you please advice Shell what steps he can take to impersonate an American?
me: NO. I ENGLISH.
Dickboi: Remember Dr. Hafiz 0guns isn't an American- he is supposed to be a Sudanese
11:14 Dickboi: A local shareholder who own a much high shares on NECS portfolio before he was made one of he company's board of directors
me: SO HOW DOES A SUDANESE MAN BEHAVE?
11:15 Sudanese man behave very African-like!
And most of them are muslims.
Batt: I would say purely african...
Shell: true talk
me: "TRUE TALK"???
Dickboi: Yes Batt has been there before in the early 80s
11:16 They speak Arabic--- their major language
Batt: Yes..
Dickboi: English is only for foreigners
me: SORRY BATT - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
Dickboi: True talk in my understanding means correct
Shell: yea i mean that Sudanese actually have a couple of similarites to Africans...
Batt: What exactly?
11:17 Sir..
me: OH NEVER MIND...
Batt: Thank you..
11:18 me: SO BATT - WHAT IS YOUR ROLE IN ALL THIS?
Batt: Well, I have got a different role..
me: I ASSUMED SO...
Dickboi: Right
me: ANY IDEA WHICH ONE?
11:19 Batt: I the company's attorney- David C0nti who repesents the company on foreign investment issues.
A barrister..
me: AND WHAT NATIONALITY IS HE?
Batt: Ghanaian
Sir..
11:20 me: AND WHAT NATIONALITY ARE YOU, BATT?
Dickboi: Batt is a Ghanian
that was why I selected him for this trade.
me: AND HOW MANY TRADES HAVE YOU DONE BEFORE, BATT?
Batt: I Ghanaian Sir
11:21 Well, couple of trades..
I have done some trades with Clove back in Ghana twice
me: TELL ME MORE...
NO CONFERRING...
11:22 COME ON BOI I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY!!!
Batt: Well, I self employed...
11:23 And I major in foreign exchange
me: WTF DOES THAT MEAN?!?!?!?!???

[email protected] has left

[While Dickboi is supposedly out of the chat, I decide to try to embarrass him in front of his fellow lads…]

me: WELL?????????????
11:24 AND WHERE HAS CLOVE GONE?!?!?!?!?
Batt: I basically have done banking trades bank in Ghana with Mr Clove
Clove, you here?
11:25 Shell: maybe he lost connection temporarily or something..
Batt: Probably..
11:26 Shell: he should be back in less than 2 minutes , i suppose
me: FOOL. ANYWAY, WHILE CLOVE IS OFFLINE, THERE IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO TELL YOU ABOUT HIM...
Shell: okay
11:27 Batt: I listenning Sir
me: SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HIM WELL TELLS ME THAT HE HAS A PROBLEM OF A PERSONAL NATURE.
11:28 Shell: hmm okay...
me: A SEXUAL NATURE...
11:29 Shell: owwwww
11:30 clove you on the group chat or something?
me: WITH YOUNG BOYS...
Batt: Is Clove here?
me: I DON'T WANT HIM TO SEE THIS!!!
11:31 Shell: be rest assured sir..he wont see this..
me: OK. LISTEN YOU GUYS - YOU'VE KNOWN HIM A LONG TIME...
Batt: Sure..
11:32 Shell: yes..
me: HAS HE EVER TOUCHED YOU...? YOU KNOW - IN PRIVATE PLACES??
Shell: lol
Batt: How do you mean Sir?
Shell: no way Sir
me: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
Shell: me...no!
11:33 Batt: I think this is actually not why we called this meeting..
Me too, no!
Shell: Batt did you know of something like this?
11:34 i had no idea
Batt: I just hearing this for the first time

[While all this is going on, Dickboi is wittering away in another chat window, asking things like “What’s going on?” and “Why have you cut me out??” Such attention to detail!]

11:36 me: WELL IF YOU DO GO TO ACCRA WITH HIM, JUST KEEP AN EYE ON HIM. STAY AWAY FROM SCHOOLS AND YOUTH GROUPS ETC. I DON'T WANT HIM TO BE DISTRACTED. HE SCREWED UP BADLY ON A RECENT ASSIGNMENT IN ABIDJAN. MY COLLEAGUES AND I HAVE BEEN MAKING SOME ENQUIRIES, AND WE THINK HE MAY HAVE FOUND A YOUNG "COMPANION" AND JUST SPENT HIS TIME IN A HOTEL RROM WITH HIM RATHER THAN CHOPPING THE MUGU. IT'S THE ONLY EXPLANATION WE CAN FIND - AND ONE OF HIS OLD ASSOCIATES CONFIRMED THAT HE HAS HAD A HISTORY OF PEDERASTY.
11:38 Batt: Well, this is kind of shocking..
I never know him to be of this nature..
I guess we should wait for him to be back, so we can forge ahead Sir
11:39 me: YOU NEVER DO KNOW, APPARENTLY. THEY GET VERY GOOD AT HIDING IT.
Batt: What do you think?
me: WHO?
Batt: Clove
Shell: ..well it's all good, i will keep this in mind
me: SORRY - YOU THINK PEDERASTY IS *GOOD*?!?!?!?
Batt: I always know him to be a very focused business minded person
11:40 Shell: yea me too
Batt: And I dont know him to be a layabout...
me: I HEARD HE IS ALSO A DRUG ADDICT. "PURPLE PILLS" ETC...
Shell: but i feverently hope this will not spill over and affect the business side of things
11:41 Batt: Infact, all the time I have know him, he is very creative and full of ideas
His ability never ceases to amaze me
me: THESE PEOPLE CAN BE VERY CREATIVE. THERE'S A LOT OF THEM IN THE THEATRE, YOU KNOW.
11:42 AND HOLLYWOOD.
Shell: yes business-wise i have known he is ok...maybe he has other issues hidden ones
lol...thats true
11:43 me: SO WHAT WOULD YOU GUYS DO IF YOU GET TO ACCRA, AND HE INSISTS ON CHECKING INTO A HOTEL NEXT TO A BOYS SCHOOL? AND THEN HE MAKES EXCUSES NOT TO MEET WITH THE MUGU? AND HE SPENDS A LOT OF TIME LOCKED IN HIS ROOM?
Shell: Ok Sir , Batt, i will make a dash now, to see what i can do about booking a ticket, i had made plans to be done with this before 12 noon ...
me: SHELL I ASKED A QUESTION...
11:44 Shell: Sorry Sir...well
Batt: He wouldnt do such a thing here..
me: "HERE"??? WHERE????
Batt: This is an important business...
Shell: me personally i would see what i can do to convince him otherwise, he has to snap out of it one way or the other and face the task
11:45 Batt: Really, I'm beginning to get confused here. I thought we should be having a very formal business talks
11:46 me: I HAVE ONE OTHER QUESTION BEFORE WE RETURN TO THE MODALITIES AND INVITE CLOVE TO REJOIN US.
Batt: Anything with Clove's personal sexual life is not known to me, but I can assure you Sir that. he's business minded individual, and he would not relent in it for personal fun
11:47 Shell: yea business wise, i can count on the guy..for as long as i have known him (9 years)
me: SOMEONE HAS TOLD ME THAT CLOVE ONCE SAID "THE SEXIEST GOATS IN ALL NIGERIA COME FROM ENUGU". [I know that that is where they are] WHAT DOES THAT MEAN????
11:48 Batt: What???
11:49 Sir, I think in or best interest, we should wait for Clove to show up, so we can forge ahead.
me: QUITE RIGHT. ANY NEWS FROM CHARLES?
11:51 BATT?
SHELL??
Batt: I here Sir..
me: CLOVE??? [No reply – he’s still locked out of the chat]
11:52 Batt: Well, I have heard about Charles only from Clove
Shell: Batt.? well from what i know we are supposed to be meeting WITH cHARLES at Accra
but i dont know him in person
Batt: Don't know what is wrong with his connection
He should join us shortly, hopefully
me: HOW DO YOU KNOW?
11:53 Batt: I said hopefully..
I know he is a serious minded individual
he never leaves without, at least saying so
me: WHEN HE RETURNS, DO NOT TELL HIM WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT. OK?
11:54 Shell: no problem Sir i wont
Batt: I can assure you Sir, that it wont be an object of discussion between us
11:55 me: GOOD. SO WHERE IS HE???!??!!??

HE HAS WASTED SO MUCH OF MY TIME ALREADY, I BECOMING ANGRY.

11:57 WHAT THE F*CK IS HAPPENING???!?!?!?!

ANSWER ME YOU CRETINS!!!!!

11:58 Batt: Well, Lets forge ahead Sir..
While we wait for him
me: I AM HIS OGA. I DO NOT WAIT FOR MY BOI. WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS?!?!?!?!?
11:59 Shell: a business of this nature i cant understand why he just left like that,...
12:00 Batt: There seems to be something wrong
me: TOO RIGHT THERE IS, F*CKWIT!!!!
Batt: I have personally tried to get him back...
But it is not working
12:01 me: THEN YOU ARE A WASTE OF SPACE TOO. DICKHEAD!!!
12:04 Batt: Please Calm down Sir..
Shell: at my age...and the experience i have had in such businesses, this baffles me...
me: RIGHT - I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS CHILD'S PLAY. I WILL EXPLAIN THE MODALITIES AND YOU CAN PASS THEM ON TO CLOVE. OK?
Batt: Ok, go on Sir..
12:05 Shell: okay
me: RIGHT. YOU WILL TRAVEL TO ACCRA ON SUNDAY. OK?
Shell: okay
Batt: Ok..
me: YOU WILL TRAVEL TO A VILLAGE NORTH OF ACCRA CALLED AGY3MENTE, OK?
12:06 Shell: okay
Batt: Ok..
Right..
me: COORDINATES ARE AS FOLLOW. MAKE A NOTE OF THEM IN CASE YOU NEED TO USE GPS.
12:07 Shell: okay ...
me: 5 49' 00" NORTH
12:08 0 13' 00" WEST
Batt: The Gps may not work in the villages
me: THEN FIND THE PLACE ON A F*CKING MAP BEFORE YOU HEAD OFF.
IDIOT.
12:09 Batt: But we can handle it with the descriptive details
Shell: okay all is noted..
go on Sir
me: ON THE WAY, YOU WILL NEED TO GET HOLD OF SOME SHOVELS. DO YOU KNOW WHAT A SHOVEL IS?
Batt: We are noting it Sir..
12:10 me: I SAID - DO YOU KNOW WHAT A SHOVEL IS?
Shell: i 41 years old i think i have used a shovel in my life
Batt: Certainly..
me: GOOD. YOU WILL GO TO ONE OF THE ENTRANCES TO THE VILLAGE. THERE ARE A PAIR OF ROAD SIGNS THERE, ONE ON EACH SIDE OF THE ROAD. I WILL SEND YOU A PHOTOGRAPH OF THEM. OK?
12:11 Shell: okay Sir go on..
Batt: Alright sir
me: YOU WILL SEE THATTHERE IS A PATCH OF BARE GROUND IN FRONT OF THE RIGHT HAND SIGN. UNDER COVER OF DARKNESS, ON SUNDAY NIGHT, YOU WILL DIG A HOLE THERE. OK?
12:12 Shell: okay then ...
Batt: Ok..
12:13 me: YOU WILL SPREAD THE SOIL FROM THE HOLE EVENLY ON THE GROUND, SO THAT IT DOES NOT FORM A MOUND THAT WILL ATTRACT ATTENTION, BUT SO THAT IT CAN EASILY BE USED TO RE-FILL THE HOLE LATER. OK?
Shell: yes understood...
12:14 Batt: We are noting...
But what is th meaning of these?
Shell: ok
me: THE HOLE WILL BE 3 FEET BY THREE FEET IN AREA, AND FIVE FEET DEEP. OK?
12:15 Batt: Hmmm, can you tell us Sir, please. what these mean?
me: OK?
BE PATIENT, YOU LITTLE PRICK!
Shell: hmm i was wondering why we need the hole?
Batt: Go on sir, but we dont think it s making any sense
12:16 Shell: ok
me: THAT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT FIT TO LICK MY BOOTS, SONNY.
YOU WILL TAKE A NUMBER OF PHOTOGRAPHS ONCE YOU HAVE DUG THE HOLE, TO PROVE THAT YOU HAVE DONE WHAT I ORDERED. IF YOU DO NOT DO THIS, THE DEAL WILL BE CANCELLED. OK?
12:17 Shell: well..okay
12:18 me: BATT - OK?
Batt: Well, Sir if meeting your client is about digging a hole, I don't think I will be interested to do such a thing
me: THEN YOU CAN F*CK OFF.
12:19 DON'T WASTE ANY MORE OF MY TIME.
GOODBYE.

Sometimes you wonder what universe this lad is in, let alone which planet.

Anyway, I will get that hole dug, and I will get some photos to prove it. Twisted Evil

Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:45 pm

bump

Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:47 pm

@NN. There seems to be a problem with some posts not appearing in the post list. The only way I could get to this was by clicking on the link in the latest post on the main Index.

Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:50 pm

That's how I found it. It's like the thread is invisible. It is in the main forum, but not there. I think we've found a Eater Black Hole.

Admin tech support will be looking into this phenomenon.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 3123

That is strange. It says "Nurse Nasty", and because I love you, I wanted to see what wonders you had written. Yet nothing. Shocked

I had to go down to your name, and find all posts before I could find it Confused

Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 3:01 pm

This thread should be back to a full working shift again

Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 3:09 pm

Quote:

Dickboi: because Nigeria is usually one hour ahead of the UK time
9:52 but to my utmost surprise it's the same now.
I was shocked when I saw it!

Clove just doesn't get the concept of "starting off on the right foot" does he?

@Rover: Thanks for resurrecting Atlantis from beneath the waves!

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Yep - big thanks to Rover and NN!!! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 9:10 am

Someone's trying to spoil things! This from Bob Mueller, no less (emphasis in original):

IGNORE ANY E-MAIL COMING FROM THE OTHER PERSON CLAIMING THAT THEY WANT TO ESTERBLISH ELECTRICITY IN SUDAN AND HE ALSO TOLD YOU TO COME TO GHANA, THEY ALL ALL FRAUDSTERS FROM AFRICA, THEY ARE ALL FRAUDSTERS.

Seems I can only trust the guy who wants me to help pump oil in Sao Tome...

It looks as if someone's been peeking over Dickie's shoulder; any suggestions here?

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 11:20 am

@yastreb - http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=148305
Could ID be Charles??? The pic we have of Charles looks like a 20 years later pic of the ID in this thread.
========
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=162062
is this the chopper? The buddy of dickhead's?? Charles??
========

Or someone else in Dickhead's group? Confused

edit: yastreb and I had a chat. We have a plan. I'm excited! Very Happy

Posted: Thu Apr 16, 2009 8:23 pm

Against all odds I am pressing on with my Atlantis modality! Very Happy

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

Can you read this?

I wrote:

Yes I can read this. What the hell is going on? I flew out to Abuja and waited for you and all you sent me were joke emails. I don't think you were even in Abuja. Why the hell are you playing games with me when I just want to get our project underway???

I need explanations.

David proceeds to forward me his two emails he sent from Abuja, and I respond...

I wrote:

How do I know you were even there? You could have written me these emails just now! Do you have a receipt or anything to prove that you were there and weren't just playing games with me???

I am not very happy at all. I waited for several days in Abuja and all I heard from you was emails that didn't mean anything. I tried to call you many times but that failed. Why didn't you answer your phone???

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

I was at Abuja on Tuesday as agreed. I was there earlier just to perfect your accommodation issues, but didn't make the hotel arrangement until about 4PM in the afternoon. I don't keep hotel receipts; they are like piece of tissues papers or junks! You can call Nicon Hilton and ask them if someone booked the room I forward you details for Wednesday evening as against Thursday morning. You can ask them what name I told them of the visitor or client I expected to accommodate in that room. You must know by now that I never say things I didn’t do.

The e-mails I forwarded you were e-mails I sent you then that you couldn't have read. They aren't written now! Why should I play games!!!! I never toy with my clients’ time! They are as important to me as anything else, not minding that you wasted mine both in Abidjan and Accra!

I have to be very honest with you; my e-mail has been attacked by internet sniffers!!! Somehow I notice some cracker broke into to my e-mails! And yet they infuse my sent messages with asci codes and other sort of technical jargons! That was why you weren’t able to read my e-mail then. I guess it happened in Abuja! I was told there are a lot of sniffers in cybers cafes!! But I am not sure where my problem started! I had contacted our IT specialist, and they resolved this problem only a few days ago. It never had to do with internet connection at all. Just so you know-otherwise all the internet cafes I visited in Maitama, I would have at least succeeded in transmitting one effective and readable communication to you, and not technical jargons! So you know where I am.
Anyway, I am very sorry about the disappointment! I didn't do it intentionally. I left Abuja Thursday morning as we couldn't communicate and headed back to Port Harcourt for Charles's mom buried that took place last Sunday.

Dav1d Sh3rman
Btw- I lost my phone in one of the cyber cafes! That's was why we couldn't speak on phone too! I am going to get a sim replacement before weekend so we could talk soon.
PSS Tell me about your stay in Abuja, where you stayed and who you met. Did you travelled alone on your jet or with your wives? Please share the news no matter how sad or disappointing!

I wrote:

So what do we do now? When are you available to meet? Obviously I don't think it would be wise to meet in Abuja after the attack on your emails. Please get back to me soon so we can make arrangements. We want our great Atlantis project to get started as soon as possible!

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

I have to stay at least a month in Nigeria, that's African cultural- maybe Nigerian culture to mourn my wife. Can we arrange to meet in Accra around 25th April? Golden Tulip could be a nice place. Or should I make a new arrangement?

Let me know.
Dav1d Sh3rman
PS I am copying S1r Charl3s on this. A4LA IT people actually fixed my e-mail. Many thanks to S1r Charl3s!

Hearing him talk about sniffers, crackers, and technical jargons always makes me giggle! Laughing

I'm trying to decide where the next place to meet should be. Accra is too convenient for him. Perhaps Tamale, Ghana? I would like to save Cameroon just in case my first wife, Morgan, can convince him at some point to run off to meet her on a S1mba Safari there.

When we're done with him David will surely be well-traveled! Wink

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