Getting an oga on safari, and a ladette jailed

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Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 10:35 pm

No word from Dr Onanism at either SSC or with S1r Winston.

Bohigal just sent me an amazing complaint form, for Deuzers bait, and we can use it here, if needed. The form is wonderful, hysterical and beautiful.

Well done, Bohigal!

If the lad contacts me about customer service, I will put Sarah in play.

Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 1:44 am

It would be great if the lad would fill out a few forms. Laughing

Both lads were working late again today. I'm sure they've been burning up phone time. They both wrote me but it's not worth posting their drivel, it's just the usual crap. I wrote a long email to the Lagos lad a moment ago, not really worth posting in its entirety but I like slipping this little gem in near the end:

Susan wrote:

He is the most callous individual I have ever met, anywhere, anytime. I simply cannot understand why you choose to have a gay love affair with a man like that. You may be "his guy" but I think you can do better. There are plenty of wonderful gay men in this country who would treat you better than your "Sir P".

I'm going to cling to this angle like a dog with a bone. After all, the Benin lad did say that "my guy" was his pet name. Wink

Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2009 2:57 pm

A LONG email from the Lagos lad today but nothing about the gay lover reference. I'll push that again. No point in posting his entire email, but a few key points are interesting:

Lagos lad wrote:

. . . From the look of things, it seems something is wrong somewhere in the Dr. Onanuga, . . .

In this regard therefore, I advise that you should bar that his email so that you will not continue to receive those trash emails from him and let him go to hail, rust and die. Stop further communication with him henceforth both answering his phone calls and responding to his emails.

Please, stop further communication with him, he can not stop your inheritance payment because it has been approved already and he was only sent by the Federal Government to meet with you confirm you are the real beneficiary and for you to endorse your payment Classified documents, Please, please, please stop further communication with that brag and arrogant man impersonating Dr. Onanuga.

. . .

2. You also need to refund me the US$2,400.00 that I already spent for the procurement of those Approvals in your favour . . . [Ah, finally back to the $2400! This guy is amazing.] Laughing

3. You should stop further communication with that Onanuga, focus your attention where I am doing my work for you and you will surely get paid within seven working days from now.

Send me this money today via Money gram only in the name of: . . .

Okay, now the question is whether the lad is independently choosing to cut the Benin lad out of the deal, or if they worked this out together, realizing that Susan won't work with Benin boi. As I was mulling this over I just got an email from Dr. Onanuga:

Benin Big Boi wrote:

Dear Mrs Susan,

I just wrote to inform you of the need for you to extend a hand of love to that poor lady who suffered for your sake as a mark of appreciation.

If for nothing else but, to erase completely that ill feelings of abandonment as expressed by her over the phone that you could have stopped by the Police station to see her & possibly effect her release so, that they do not feel she was alone like they felt and I tried explaining to her that it is me you hate and not her.

You have her names so,just send her any amount as token of your love / appreciation via Western Union or Moneygram money transfers on her names which you are already aware of to Cotonou - Benin Republique and inform me so that I can pass it to her and she will see when collecting it that it came from you because the Bible said that a Labourer deserves his wages but, if you feel it is not right to do then forget it but, know that she is a woman like you and stayed out with only a dress for days under incarceration for trying to help.

So I daresay the good doctor doesn't know he's been cut out of the picture. I guess maybe Susan needs to let him know what his partner says about him......

Posted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 1:42 pm

^^^little by little! clapping

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 27 Mar 2009 Posts: 13

Susan should send the girl a "Get Well Soon" card.

In the US, it's downright rude to send someone cash.

Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 12:55 am

The bait is ongoing but now that the safari is over it's pretty much back to tedium. I'm continuing to hammer on the gay lovers theme, which is making them both crazy. Just a very few quotes:

to Benin Boi, Susan wrote:

Now, however, I understand why you are so hostile toward women. You could have just come right out and told me that you and John Abule were lovers. That would not have shocked or offended me. I didn't realize he was "your guy" and that he thinks of you as "Sir P*nis". That would actually be very sweet if it weren't for the fact that you are so obnoxious.

I rather like John. He seems like a nice enough young man, even if not as competent as he should be. I do not like to see him in an abusive relationship with a man who is really all wrong for him. I am making it clear to him that I think you are not good enough for him, he deserves a much more caring and honorable lover to spend his time with.

to Lagos lad, Susan wrote:

But I'm leaving this up to you to sort out. Obviously you know him very intimately, he must have some human qualities or you could never be his lover. I certainly can't see any qualities in him myself, but it could just be because he doesn't know how to treat a woman. Some gay men are like that. Fortunately you are able to balance your sexual orientation and your personal interactions.

Anyway, you straighten this mess out with him and then we can discuss the next step. Please be firm with him, don't let your personal affection cloud your thinking.

to Lagos lad, Susan wrote:

As long as you are lovers there is a chance of him interfering in this.

to Lagos lad, Susan wrote:

I simply cannot understand why you chose to have a gay love affair with a man like that. You may be "his guy" but I think you can do better. There are plenty of wonderful gay men in this country who would treat you better than your "Sir P".

But the main thing I'm working on is pitting them against each other. I wasn't sure if they coordinated a plan to share the job but now it's clear that Benin Boi is trying to take the job over by himself. Lagos lad and his oga are working hard to cut him out completely. I'm fanning the flames by forwarding their emails over to the rival, with lots of questions. I can almost smell the smoke from here as their little brains short out.

Lagos lad wrote:

. . .I have advised you to bar his email so that he will no longer reach you and if he does through another email that will imply that he has some criminal intentions and I will officially report him the more to the Finance Minister and the Federal Ministry of Finance for prosecution.

Dr. Onanuga was introduced into your transaction through the Finance Minister . . . I have already reported his activities, his inability to perform the work he was delegated to do, instead, he elegated his woman friend who is resident in Cotonou who does not work with the Federal Ministry of Finance to do his work (that show incompetence in the work).

. . .Documents should be re-issued for Diplomatic Delivery to your residence in United States of America since Dr. Onanuga was unable to carry out his duty instead handed such official Classified documents to an unknown woman to the Ministry.

. . .you have nothing to do with Dr. Onanuga any more.

Dr. Onanuga was only a messenger who was sent to confirm if my verification was correct or not . . .He has no power of his to do what he claimed, so disregard his threatening mails and bar his email address.

. . .I wonder whom he is and what authority he has for making such statement, . . .

Who is Dr. Onanuga to stop your payment that I had verified ok to be released in your favour? Why would he do such a thing? What power has he, a messenger that was not able to carry out his duty? [my thoughts exactly!] Laughing

. . .

Disregard all the threats.

Benin Big Boi wrote:

. . . Abule's sudden character change is surprising

Eventually (well, pretty soon) Susan will have to return to Africa because she's yearning for Williams Brown. Maybe this time Lagos lad will realize he needs to get off his butt if he wants to score any of my money.

Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 3:07 am

Not quite a Newb Joined: 30 Dec 2006 Posts: 28

Juan Freizwidatt wrote:

Eventually (well, pretty soon) Susan will have to return to Africa because she's yearning for Williams Brown. Maybe this time Lagos lad will realize he needs to get off his butt if he wants to score any of my money.

Get her to meet the stud Williams Brown but agree to a stopover somewhere to fix things up with them eforehand and tell them Williams Brown wont have knowledge of it because he told her not to liase with them again. Send an email from WB to the mugus verifying her arrival 2 days later than the agreed meeting. They would haul ass to the meeting to chop her before she meets up WB 2 days later Wink

Then she gets into trouble goes to the next village emails them AND Williams Brown to come get her out. The amazing race type of safari Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2009 6:11 am

Very nice! Lots of great time wasting and still plenty of opportunities to keep things going.

Cheers!

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Mar 2009 Posts: 582

Maybe Susan could mention that Williams Brown investment has started paying off? She could brag about how much money WB has given her. That might make his head spin trying to figure out if there are real investments out there.

Or that she has 'lost' the documents in all her travels and could he resend them? If he did have to pay someone to make them, he might not have saved a copy and will have to buy new ones. Then Susan could 'find' the orginals and harass him about the differences between the 2 sets of forms. But then she would have to finally acknowledge receiving the first set and his frustration at her lack of acceptance of those important papers is such a fun long running theme.

Posted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 3:14 pm

I'm semi-necroing my own thread to share a couple of emails I enjoyed. This is winding down, but it's not over yet. John Abule keeps telling me not to write him anymore but somehow he keeps replying anyway. This excerpt about my recently failed WU payment pleased me. The red font is how he wrote it:

Quote:

You were FOOLED, FOOLED FOOLED, FOOLED, FOOLED FOOLED BY YOUR SO-CALLED FRIEND . . .
He never sent the money you instructed him to send,. . . he FOOLED you, when I advised for your trace personally, he told you that it was pickd, HE FOOLED YOU AGAIN.
. . .
My dear, wake up, go to western union offic by yourself and make the corrections, send the money and your matter/problem will be solved.
Otherwise, please, please, STOP CONTACTING ME AND CONTINUE TO BE FOOLED IN THEIR HANDS.

But I think Dr. Onanuga is done now (emphasis added):

Quote:

Whatever you give to Abule if it is indeed true is not even worth his troubles based on your lies-You impersonating daughter of eve without any sense of pride for womanhood and a total shame to mother of creation as your only rightful place is the red light zone from where I believe whoever is your husband picked you up from because we are gradually circling around the real Wife to our deceased client which obviously is not you bitchy slut.

I have not seen in the Face of this mother Earth a classless debased illiterate woman, liar, cheap prostitute like you and I am happy to announce to you that your 5imba 5afari hoax has come to the open since no small sesna plane touched down on the soil of Niamey on the 25th of March 2009 neither was there any manifest with your names in it prior to or after the said date with Air-France including your faked robbery of the supposed money with you - So, your casefile is automatically closed and once we get the rightful beneficiary to the said claims we shall proceed with the Fund release but, I must give it to you that you are a clever liar.

You are a scum & a frustrated transmitter of STD - seeking for whom to dispense your virus infested body chemistry to.

Good riddance to a bad rubbish.

B-Y-E.

I can't believe he did all that research on flights in and out of Niamey. Very Happy

And I wonder how much this all cost him for travel, damage to his jeep, and bribes to get Mrs. Josiane out of jail...

I'm off to find a barrel of salt to dump in that gaping wound of his.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

What an excellent email response. It's a tough call which is better, this new one or the daughter of the mermaid rant. Laughing

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

But you're going to provide plausible explanations for his misinterpretations, aren't you? Very Happy

Posted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:55 pm

Bait's over, now we're down to trading insults. But hey, that's fun too! He still has no clue he was baited, he still believes I'm really a rich woman. He hates my guts, but the feeling is mutual. Wink

Benin Boi wrote:

Susan,

A woman who cannot put her zip down & melts at the sight of any man is WORTHLESS and has no status let alone that which also can garnish such disastrous attributes with lies like you did does not deserve any respect than that given to dogs whose family you belong.

If you are not dumb - How could you believe the mumbo jumbo told you by a street junky informed by your waywardness as organized by that nonentity with a nobody posited to you to be a lawyer that he will see that Dr Ed. Onanuga is axed [huh???] - The greatest tale by moonlight as you will see when you return back to shabby red light zone soon as your accounts which you're using in fabricating these lies will soon run dry and you shall relocate to your dungeon in the red light axis to find succour amongst your bed fellows because NEVER can yhou lay your filthy fingers on any dime of late Mr Ronald's lest it shall go into the coffers of our Government and that is if we fail to get genuine representation from the stable of the deceased Ronald but, definitely not from an accursed,impersonating damned woman like you who can paint such picture of self designed airport rip off and a sudden private sesna jet airliftment stunt without knowledge that a landing permit must be obtained from the airport authority before any landing which there was no information of such from the authorities neither was there any name like yours in any of the Airfrance manifest two day before till two days after your bogus proclamation.

[Snip racist diatribe] YOU CAN NEVER GET OVER YOUR COMPLEXES BEING IN RED LIGHT BUSINESS SO LONG. THAT IS WHY YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT RESPECT IS, BE IT FOR YOURSELF OR THE OTHERS LIKE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR IDEALS. I SUGGEST YOU GO AND CLIMB A TREE AND STAY THERE. BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE YOU BELONG.

YOU CAN NOT UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ALMOST FOOLED ME AS WE TRIED TO DO THINGS TOGETHER BUT COULD NOT BECAUSE OF YOUR DIRTY MIND YOU DECIDED TO TAKE THINGS PERSONAL. IT TAKES ALL KIND OF ANIMALS TO MAKE A ZOO.

Bye.

Ed.

Ah, so much signature material from this lad... Hey, Ed, back at 'ya, pal!

Susan wrote:

Dear Dr. Onanuga:

You are certainly right that it takes all kinds of animals to make a zoo. And obviously you're the biggest jackass in yours.

I'd love to know why you harbor such intense hostility towards women. You have treated me like dirt from the very beginning, and from everything I saw you treated Mrs. Josiane just as badly -- as an expendable pawn. Is it because your mother rejected your sexual advances when you were a hormonally-challenged, pimple-faced, fat teenager? Is it because your first girlfriend laughed when she discovered she needed a magnifying glass and tweezers to find your sorry little penis? It must be something like that which pushed you to hate women and prefer sex with other men.

Fortunately your words mean nothing to me, I am not concerned with the rambling insane rants of an admitted idiot. I already know that I don't need you to collect my fund anyway, and also that your threats are hollow. I will conclude this with the help of someone who is intelligent, efficient, and respectful. Three qualities which are utterly lacking in your case.

Give my best to John. I actually rather liked him despite his incompetence. Then again, he's a genius compared to a low-life like yourself.

It's another example of a lad so wrapped up in his own story and self-importance that he will drop a maga who he still believes exists, and who has paid big money to other lads.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Great work Juan Thumbs up

, and damn, you very nearly fooled him Laughing

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 25 Apr 2009 Posts: 1

Wow, as a newbie this is something to aspire to, great work.

Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 11:17 am

So many great lines. He really is incredibly creative. That was a great read.

Great baitery Juan. Laughing

Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 12:31 pm

Juan Wow. So much siggy material! What a shame to lose him....

Such a shame he wouldn't bite on Bohigals complaint forms..... that would have been pretty funny.

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

Juan this was just a fantastic bait and so much fun to read.

The amount of lad frustration was some of the best I have seen in a long time.
I could hear him grinding his teeth and hear the pounding of his blood pressure from here.

I know you got under their skin so bad that it will take them a long time to get over it.
And it seems like he still believes, which will haunt him for a very long long time. Very Happy

LOVE THAT!

I love how you rub it in his face about how he treats women and used the woman to do his job and hide behind her.
Then when it all went bad of course it was his fault! Laughing

He even put so much time and effort into his insults, how nice...

I really really enjoyed this bait. Thumbs up

Lad obsessed with the Red Light Zone wrote:

You are a scum & a frustrated transmitter of STD - seeking for whom to dispense your virus infested body chemistry to.

I wonder if his mother worked the Red Light Zone??
Maybe he was raised in it and is the by product of some frustrated transmitter? He seems an expert on it. Wink

Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 1:44 pm

Don't put your zipper down and melt. Laughing

Excellent baiting Juan! clapping

Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 3:48 pm

excellent work! as a mentorless newbie, i have just been reading this through to learn a few lessons!

Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 9:51 pm

Quote:

A woman who cannot put her zip down & melts at the sight of any man is WORTHLESS and has no status

I love it when they get so angry they say the exact opposite of what they actually mean. I hope your next reply will include telling him to treasure his mother who must be a real diamond having lowered her zip for all and sundry, goats included.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 Aug 2006 Posts: 2

As a newbie I do have several questions but I'll only ask one here. How in the heck do you know how to use their phraseology and syntax? Must be hard enough to speak the broken English with them but I would guess that words like "smallboi" are specific insults in their culture. I'm amazed at the detail you are able to provide to them. It's almost like you've traveled extensively there. This is so friggin' hilarious. Well done! clapping

And to rub salt in the wound, Uchenna (aka Williams Brown) wrote to my main lad:

my fake lad wrote:

HEY SMALLBOI U R DI LOSER OKAY .DIS JOB BI MINE AN ITS A GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD ONE !!!!!!!!!! I TAKE BIG MONEY AN HAV A GOOD TIME 2 .DIS MAGA NA SEXY LADY WHO LIKE REAL MAN CAN **** HER TIL SHE SCREAM .

U ARE NOTING BUT EMPTY BALLON,IDIOT OF U BECAUSE I AM ALREADY A BIGGER BOY OK

GO AND HUZZLE LIKE STREET BOYS OF UR TYPE ,I AM DI ONE GOD HAS BLESS IN THIS JOB OK.

BYE.

I figure the fact that Uchenna/Brown had no problem getting to the camp should deepen the rift between the two lads. If he could get there, why can't the diplomat?[/quote]

Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 11:04 pm

I'm locking this to avoid any further discussion on this thread. Since you are new here (welcome, by the way!) you have perhaps missed our rule in the FAQ section about necros:

Quote:

Please avoid thread necromancy (that is: posting in a thread that has been inactive for several months to bump it back to the top again). Old threads have usually little relevance anymore. Also, members that posted in it may not be around anymore. If you really want to bring up an old discussion again because you have something of value to add, post a new thread and put a link in it to the old thread. That way people do not have to read through all the old posts to see what is new.

But as a quick answer to your question, writing credible pidgin simply takes practice. The more things you read in pidgin, the more familiar you will become with styles and vocabulary. Having language aptitude helps, since pidgin is really a language with its own rules. It's not simply a matter of writing crude, broken English. To sound real you have to use real pidgin terms and grammar structure, such as it is.

That said, we all do some copy and pasting, especially when it comes to insults. There are lots and lots of lad rants to be found here, a veritable gold mine of insults. Working those in with some original, properly-worded pidgin can result in a very, very believable fake lad that will fool even some of the brightest scammers -- like the oga I toyed with in this safari.

If you want to discuss more about pidgin, feel free to start a new thread on the topic. Wink

We have some people here who are very proficient.

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