Atlantis Bait - *** JACKSON POWELL / DICKBOI'S FOLLY***

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Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 7:29 am

Poor Charles. He does the worst "sick man" impersonation on the planet.
For being in hell, they sounded like they were having a lot of fun to me. Laughing

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Bluth I have just played that recording over breakfast and now my computer screen is an inch deep in muesli. It is quite simply the funniest thing I have ever heard on Eater.

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Lad was up bright and early today, drawing on the support of his A4LA colleagues... Evil or Very Mad

To Robbie:

Quote:

Robert,

The secure website didn't work for me here. Please try to understand. I expected that you will send me the information via SMS but you didn't.

Please we can use code to exchange this information on a secure server. For instance, for the control number which is 10 digits you could use alphabets- say "1" for "A", "2" for "B", and so on.

Then on the other information that has to do with alphabets (not numerals), you can use numbers. For instance, you say sender's name Robert - "R" for "18", "O" for "15" and so on. Please don't let me down. I have to see Weatherm4n today. I am very stranded here. I can't move anywhere without money. Please have mercy upon my soul. This Ivorian people are REALLY WICKED AND UNFORGIVING. You are in a more dangerous situation as a stranger who doesn't understand French.

I am urgently waiting for the details. Thank you

This is quite an interesting ploy by the lad, because for several weeks I had him writing to me in just such a code, "for security reasons" Wink

. He had to code/decode the messages manually, one letter at a time - must have taken hours! I did the same task in seconds, using a quick spreadsheet I had knocked up. Of course my messages to him were very long! Twisted Evil

But I digress. Lad follows up with this:

Quote:

Robert,

Please I need this information in codes. I wont be able to meet Weatherm4n without settling a lot of bills here. This money can go a long way but respond ASAP. I am f*cking stranded here. Please get back to me as quickly as possible.

The lad is also begging his oga Sir Ch4rles for help:

Quote:

Robert,

Please I am still waiting. Send me the payment info in codes. I need to move this morning so I can arrive Bouake before 2PM this morning. Bouake is about 7 hours from Abidjan town. Very Happy

Pls help.

Sir Ch4rles: I saw you on at googlechat but you aren't talking.

Robert: Can you get online via googlechat? My ID is ***

Yep - Sir C is indeed on googlechat, but only in receive mode! Twisted Evil

Quote:

8:24 AM fsa.uk: Sir Ch4rles
I am glad you are on now
8:25 AM Can you please help me retrieve the payment information on the document Robert sent me?
I am not going to let you down upon my meeting with Weatherm4n
8:26 AM We spoke several times last night and infact he has agreed to pay me a million for my retainer fee
he cant afford to lose David Sherm4n
8:31 AM Are you there sir?
8:34 AM Please talk to me

23 minutes

8:57 AM fsa.uk: Please talk to me Sir
8:59 AM Please ask Robert to send me the payment details in codes
It is not safe to be here any longer without money
Please understand my situation

16 minutes

9:16 AM fsa.uk: Please talk to me sir

13 minutes

9:29 AM fsa.uk: PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
9:30 AM PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR

This is no way for an intelligent and hard-working man (men?) to spend his days. He really ought to take Mr Weatherm4n up on his kind offer of hospitality.

Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 10:20 am

Quote:

This Ivorian people are REALLY WICKED AND UNFORGIVING.

They can probably smell a guyman a mile away in that part of the world.

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

Sir Ch4rles tries to encourage his lieutenant via e-mail:

Quote:

I'VE SPOKEN TO OUR IT PEOPLE AND YOU NEED TO FIND A PC WHICH HAS WINDOWS NT OPERATING SYSTEM. THEN YOU WILL HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THE PAYMENT PROTOCOLS. ROBBIE IS WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU AS SOON AS YOU FIND A COMPUTER WITH NT. JUST TRY A FEW DIFFERENT CYBER CAFES - ONE OF THEM IS BOUND TO HAVE IT! REMEMBER IT IS THE OPERATING SYSTEM THAT WAS USED BEFORE XP. I AM TOLD THAT XP IS NO USE - EVERY RUSSIAN SCHOOLKID LEARNS HOW TO HACK INTO THAT BEFORE THEY ARE EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO HAVE THEIR FIRST LITRE OF VODKA.

ANYWAY GOOD LUCK - YOU'RE NEARLY THERE! AND AS A SPECIAL "THANK YOU" FOR NEGOTIATING SUCH A GOOD DEAL FROM THAT DRUNKEN MUGU, I WILL LET YOU KEEP EVERY DOLLA YOU MAKE ON THIS VISIT, ABOVE AND BEYOND THE FIRST $250,000 WHICH WILL BE MY SHARE. WELL DONE!

MY ONLY CONCERN IS ABOUT CHARLES. CAN WE TRUST HIM TO HELP YOU WITH THIS MODALITY? I HAVE NO IDEA WHO HE IS. GET HIM TO E-MAIL ME FROM HIS OWN E-MAIL ACCOUNT AND EXPLAIN TO ME EVERYTHING ABOUT HIMSELF, SO I KNOW WHETHER HE IS A RELIABLE SORT. I ALSO WANT TO EXPALIN TO HIM SOME OF OUR ORGANISATION'S CONFIDENTIALITY EXPECTATIONS, AND WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE WHO BREACH THEM.

AND REMEMBER, IF ALL ELSE FAILS, JUST PERSUADE SOMEONE TO DRIVE YOU TO BOUKE AND THAT BIBULOUS CRANK WEATHERM4N WILL SHOWER THEM WITH RICHES BEYOND THEIR WILDEST DREAMS!!!!! I HAVE HEARD STORIES OF THIS GUY GIVING A $1,000 TIP TO A WAITER IN THE RESTAURANT JUST FOR MOPPING UP SOME RED WINE HE SPILLED ON THE TABLECLOTH - UNBELIEVABLE GENEROSITY!!

MEANWHILE THINGS ARE VERY BUSY HERE. NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS WAS ANY USE TO ME FOR THE FUNDS TRANSFERS BECAUSE THE US REGULATIONS ARE TOO STRINGENT. I NEED TO GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR NON-US CONTACTS ASAP - MAYBE YOU COULD PHONE THEM FROM THE CAR ON YOUR WAY TO BOUKE - I GUESS THERE WON'T BE MUCH ELSE TO DO. Wink

ALSO, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR ANNUAL PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL. I'M AFRAID THERE WILL BE ANOTHER FORM TO FILL IN. I DELIBERATELY DIDN'T GIVE IT TO YOU YET BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING SUCH GOOD WORK ON THIS PROJECT BUT I DO NEED TO HAVE IT COMPLETED BY CLOSE OF PLAY THIS FRIDAY (20 MARCH). REMEMBER THAT ANNUAL BONUSES AND CAREER PROGRESSION DEPEND ON IT.

GOOD LUCK MY BOI! AND KEEP IN TOUCH.

C

Time for him to do some HR admin work - he's been neglecting it lately.

Meanwhile he is still chasing the payment details for the $5k. This is turning into an awful lot of work for such a small sum.

Quote:

Robert,

Please please please get back to me with the payment infos in codes. I have been waiting for you for the past 2 hours. I don't knows for how long more I should wait before you can reply me. Please you need to understand the urgency of my request.

Sir Ch4rles: please help me retrieve the vital information on the payment attachment Robert sent if you are first to read e-mails. Please help. I don't know for how long I am going to continue to be in this unfriendly environment. At least with this money, I can leave this place and head up to Bouake where Weatherm4n supposedly is.

Remember we shouldn't keep our clients waiting. Wink

As I type this, he is still screaming away in googlechat (ARE YOU THERE SIR??? I AM RIGHT HERE SIR!!!!! etc etc etc), and he has just sent me a pathetic lie as follows:

Quote:

SIR,

NO CAFE HAS WINDOWS NT, I HAVE TRIED IT AT MORE 6 OF THEM HERE; YET I HAVE NO MONEY TO KEEP LOOKING. ALL I ASK IS THAT YOU DOWNLOAD THE PAYMENT DOCUMENT AND SEND ME THE CONFIDENTIAL PAYMENT INFO TO ME VIA GOOGLECHAT SIR. IS NOT MUCH TO ASK.

So let me get that straight - you have checked out 6 internet cafes in ten minutes? What kind of mugu do you take me for... Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:22 pm

Congratulations BluthB! That may be the funniest call I've ever heard here. For some reason the way Charles says "WHAT?" kills me.

Btw if he really doesn't speak French, maybe when the time is right you could do him a favor and write him some notes of introduction. He and Charles deserve the help. Too bad your French software sucks and translates "Where is the hotel" to "Do not scream. Give me all your moneys."

Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 1:50 pm

What IS that sound he makes around 14:30?

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

^^^Well, I thought that was a very interesting call with a sick girly/man? who sounded weepy and laughing at the same time.

I'm so glad you warned us first Bluth! I would have hated to ruin my laptop.

I didn't know that Malaria could cause a sex change like that.
It's a more dangerous disease than I thought. Shocked

AWESOME CALL!!! Thanks for sharing. Laughing

I'm sure he will be traveling again for you soon.
He still sounds very interested and that call was paid for by the lad.
Good Job!! You are a fantastic baiter.

@Ninastian you are very convincing. Very Happy

Turning the screws tighter and tighter. Love it.

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

^^^^^^

and tighter and tighter... Twisted Evil

I've just finished a loonnnggg chat with boi. The main objectives were to wind him up, waste his time, irritate him, and delay him. In no particular order. Oh - and to screw with his mind.

It's quite interesting to see how the mind of a compulsive liar works. There were some long pauses as he thought up each new fib. Rolling Eyes

But first he had to attract my attention...

Edit: Just to make it clear to anyone who hasn't heard Bluth's latest (and amazingly funny) phone call - the lad's supposed travelling companion "Charles" does not exist - and therefore the hotel he is supposed to be holed up in is also a figment of dickboi's over-active imagination. I suspect that the "driver" is a fantasy too - as you will see!

Quote:

8:31 AM Are you there sir?
8:34 AM Please talk to me

23 minutes

8:57 AM fsa.uk: Please talk to me Sir
8:59 AM Please ask Robert to send me the payment details in codes
It is not safe to be here any longer without money
Please understand my situation

16 minutes

9:16 AM fsa.uk: Please talk to me sir

13 minutes

9:29 AM fsa.uk: PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
9:30 AM PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR
PLEASE TALK TO ME SIR

35 minutes

10:06 AM me: BOI - ARE YOU STILL THERE????

7 minutes

10:13 AM me: IT SAYS We're experiencing technical difficulties that may prevent your chats from being sent.
10:14 AM ARE YOU REALLY THERE?????

15 minutes

10:29 AM fsa.uk: I am right here Sir
10:30 AM ARE YOU THERE SIR

6 minutes

10:37 AM fsa.uk: I AM RIGHT HERE SIR

10:43 AM fsa.uk: I AM RIGHT HERE SIR

6 minutes

10:50 AM fsa.uk: I AM RIGHT HERE SIR
10:52 AM me: BOI CAN YOU READ THIS?
10:53 AM fsa.uk: YES I CAN
Thanks for getting here
10:54 AM me: I HAD PROBLEMS WITH GOOGLECHAT
fsa.uk: OK I understand
me: I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT THESE THINGS
fsa.uk: But we are back chatting now
me: SO I SEE
fsa.uk: I understand
10:55 AM Please you have to help me retrieve the payment details on the payment attachment Rob sent me and cc you
I have no time I need to rush up to Bouake
Please
10:56 AM No cafe uses NT here its XP they all use
me: WHAT IS THE STATUS OF THE PROJECT?
10:57 AM fsa.uk: I am yet to meet Weatherm4n because I need to pick up the money Robert sent to settle bills
me: SO WHERE ARE YOU NOW?
fsa.uk: So far I cant open the payment attachment
me: CLOVE THIS IS NOT A F*CKING IT HELP DESK!!!!!
fsa.uk: I am still in Abidjan
me: RIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE?
10:58 AM fsa.uk: Why do you talk this way?
I told you I have no money and I am solely dependent on the money Robert sent
I have been trying to open the file in several computers but cant
10:59 AM You have to understand my meeting with Weatherm4n today depends on that money
me: CLOVE I HAVE TOLD YOU ONCE - THIS IS NOT A F*CKING IT HELP DESK!!!!!
fsa.uk: I asked Robert to sms me the details or even send in codes
11:00 AM Why do you talk this way? I never said you were a f*cking it help desk
but at least you understand what I am going through
dont make things worse.
me: I NEED TO UNDERSTAND WTF IS HAPPENIG BEFORE I CAN HELP YOU!
11:01 AM fsa.uk: OK
11:02 AM The problem is I haven't been able to open the Western Union payment file Robert sent me. You say I needed a Win NT to open it but unfortunately virtually all the internet offices I have visited dont use it
they use XP
and I am sure that is why it couldnt open
11:03 AM please try to understand my poor situation here
me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "VIRTUALLY ALL"?
11:04 AM fsa.uk: I have been to 8 cafes in the entire Abidjan
no one can open the file
that is what i meqnt
meant
and secondly i have no money, the driver is going to call the police on me if i dont pay all his bills
11:05 AM i could just find a way to get everything settled and go home instead of pursuing weatherm4n business any further if you wont help me as a boss
it is very tough here.
11:06 AM me: YOU SAID "VIRTUALLY ALL" OF THE INTERNET CAFES DON'T HAVE NT. THAT MUST MEAN THAT SOME OF THEM DO!
WHICH IS GOOD NEWS!!
SURELY...
fsa.uk: NONE OF THEM HAS NT
me: lower case please
11:07 AM fsa.uk: none of the cafes has it
me: WHY HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR STORY?
fsa.uk: i tried 8 cafes but the last one is about 10 km away
i was told
11:08 AM no one is going to take me there without any money
again you must know the driver cant have me leave here without settling his bills
11:09 AM try and understand my situation and dont make it worst than it is
me: YOUR EXACT WORDS WERE: You say I needed a Win NT to open it but unfortunately virtually all the internet offices I have visited dont use it
VIRTUALLY ALL!
11:10 AM fsa.uk: the simple truth is that all internet cafes here dont use NT i was told
and the last cafe i havent checked out is in some 10km away
11:11 AM they use XP
me: SO WHY DID YOU SAY "VIRTUALLY ALL" AND NOT "EVERY"?
fsa.uk: only
i am sorry about the confusion
me: I WANT AN EXPLANATION, NOT AN APOLOGY
11:12 AM fsa.uk: i thought i have already explained that to you
me: WRONG.
11:14 AM fsa.uk: virtually all- i meant almost all the internet offices i visited doesnt use NT and the only one i am yet to visit is some 10 km away
that was why i used virtually all
please help me
11:15 AM otherwise i am no longer going to be able to meet weatherm4n today as agreed
please hold on
the computer needs to restart
11:16 AM i am not gone yet
give me 3 minutes and i am gonna be back online
11:17 AM me: THIS JUST GOES TO SHOW WHAT A WASTE OF TIME IT IS IF YOU TREAT ME AS AN IT HELP DESK. ROBBIE AND THE IT GUYS WILL SORT THIS OUT FOR YOU! I HAVE MORE USEFUL THINGS TO DO WITH MY TIME. SO NOW LET'S WORK OUT HOW WE ARE GOING TO GET YOU OUT OF THIS SITUATION, AND BACK IN CONTROL.
THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME, ISN'T IT?

7 minutes

11:25 AM fsa.uk: I am back Sir
11:26 AM me: HANG ON A SEC - BRB
fsa.uk: ok
11:29 AM me: BACK NOW - SORRY ABOUT THAT. I JUST SIGNED SOME PAPERS TO TRANSFER $10M TO AN ACCOUNT IN ANTIGUA. 30% COMMISSION!! THESE PEOPLE ARE BANDITS!!!! IT SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED!!!!
BASTARDS
11:30 AM fsa.uk: ok
me: NO IT IS NOT "OK"
fsa.uk: it isnt ok
I know
11:31 AM but as long as your own rest balance is safe what else matters?
besides if it doesnt appeal to you of course you shouldnt have signed it
in the first place
11:32 AM Besides I know you are in a hot sit to move awy a4la money in a safe haven
11:33 AM me: CLOVE IF YOU HAD GIVEN ME THE BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS OF YOUR NON-US CONTACTS, I WOULDN'T JUST HAVE HAD TO PAY $3M TO SOME COKED-UP MEXICAN WITH A PROSTITUTE IN EVERY CUPBOARD!!!
fsa.uk: anyone in such desperation as you could even give 50 percent instead of losing all the money
me: I WILL PRETEND THAT I DID NOT READ THAT.
11:34 AM fsa.uk: i am going to pretend i never said anything to hurt you
please help me get to weatherm4n now
that is very important
me: LISTEN CHIUMMY YOUR SO-CALLED PROBLEMS ARE LESS THAN A SPECK OF DUST COMPARED TO MINE RIGHT NOW.
11:35 AM fsa.uk: as soon as i can get his money i am going to set up a secure bank account in abidjan, ghana and togo to save all your millions
this is my promise to you
the account names will be post hoc bla bla
as though an existing investment company in uk
11:36 AM i already have a business card in that name
and i am going to give it to weatherm4n upon our meeting
me: WOW - THE CONSUMMATE PROFESSIONAL!
11:37 AM RIGHT - IT'S TIME TO GET THIS DEAL BACK ON TRACK.
ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS FAST - AND NONE OF YOUR LIES OR EVASIONS, OK?
I AM NOT A MUGU. WHAT AM I NOT?
fsa.uk: you are no mugu but my boss
11:38 AM you can trust me as long as you help me in desperate situations
as this
me: IF I THINK YOU ARE LYING, I WILL TYPE "L". IF I THINK YOU ARE EVADING, I WILL TYPE "E". OK?
11:39 AM fsa.uk: believe i am honest to you
me: LLLLLL
fsa.uk: i will only do the very best i can
me: WELL I WON'T SET MY HOPES TO HIGH...
11:40 AM fsa.uk: soon you will come to realize how helpful i can be to a4la
i am not going to promise you heaven and earth
11:41 AM lets just look into the future and then you will understand what i can do
me: FIRST QUESTION - HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE ON YOU RIGHT NOW?
fsa.uk: i have no penny
me: LLLLL
fsa.uk: the fact that i am owing a lot doesnt mean anything to you???
11:42 AM me: EEEEEEE
fsa.uk: how could i be lying over a serious issue
me: EEEEEE
fsa.uk: i am in a shithole here:
me: EEEEEEEEE
fsa.uk: i see you are not helping me at all
me: EEEEEEEEE
fsa.uk: i have to find a way to return home
me: EEEEEEE
fsa.uk: i am no longer going to meet weatherm4n
11:43 AM me: EEEEEEEE
fsa.uk: bye
me: LLLLLLLL
LET'S TRY AGAIN. HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU HAVE ON YOU RIGHT NOW?
11:44 AM fsa.uk: if i have money why should i ask for your help
i have none
me: EEEEEEEEEEEEE
fsa.uk: whether you believe it or not
me: LLLLLLLLL
11:45 AM fsa.uk: did i ask you to send me a penny to get to accra
me: EEEEEEE
fsa.uk: etc
me: E
11:46 AM fsa.uk: Now I see Robert never sent any money that was why he hasnt replied me for the payment information in codes
me: EEEEEEEEEE
fsa.uk: How can i ever trust you if you are misleading?
me: EEEEEEEE
fsa.uk: you say one thing and does another what kind of a boss are you
11:47 AM me: LELELELELE
fsa.uk: i think you are not helping me in any way
me: LLLLLLLL
fsa.uk: if anyone trusts you like this how are you going to feel
treats not trusts
maybe you think it is fun
11:48 AM i told you i am stranded and then you think it is all lies and evasions
well only god knows the truth
me: INDEED. NOW THAT WAS NOT VERY USEFUL, WAS IT? AND ALL BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT GIVE A STRAIGHT ANSWER TO A STRAIGHT QUESTION. LET'S TRY ANOTHER ONE SHALL WE?
WHO IS CHARLES?
11:49 AM fsa.uk: he is a good friend of mine in nigeriq
nigeria
11:50 AM i brought him on this trip as david's brother in law
brother to david late wife
and weatherm4n understands that well
11:51 AM why should i continue to waste my time here if you really cant help me?
11:52 AM weatherm4n and i spoke several times last night and i actually told him i am going to be in bouake today i was simply relying on roberts 5K so i can set off for the journey having paid all bills i owe here
me: EEEEEEEEEE
11:53 AM fsa.uk: i dont care what you ever think you as far as i am not lying to you
me: EEEEEEEEE
fsa.uk: i am 110 percent telling you the truth
me: LLLLL
fsa.uk: whatever
me: WHAT DOES CHARLES KNOW ABOUT THIS MODALITIES?
11:54 AM fsa.uk: I told him everything he needed to know
11:55 AM he doesnt have any role on the atlantis project
except trying to convince weatherm4n about his sister's death
the bull crashing his sister on the farmyard
me: "everything he needed to know" MEANING WHAT, EXACTLY?
11:56 AM fsa.uk: Remember the further time I waste here means i never will make it to bouake
and secondly if the modality fails it is your fault
me: THAT IS A RISK I WILL MANAGE
11:57 AM BUT I NEED YOU TO TELL ME WTF IS GOING ON
EG THE ROLE OF CHARLES IN ALL THIS
GEDDIT?
fsa.uk: i told Charles about accompanying me to meeting Weatherm4n over an atlantis project launching
11:58 AM me: SO HE DOES KNOW ABOUT ATLANTIS THEN
YOU SQAID HE DIDN'T
LLLLLLLL
fsa.uk: Yes he does knoz
know
but no details about it he knows
11:59 AM listen he might hear everything if i discuss it with weatherm4n in our roundtable
i simply told him it is an atlantis project
no further details than that
12:00 PM further details he might hear if i discuss more of it with weatherm4n
me: WHAT IS YOUR COMMERCIAL AGREEMENT WITH CHARLES?
12:01 PM fsa.uk: i am going to share the burial expenses for my late wife weatherm4n is paying with him 5050
that amounts to 162500
12:02 PM me: HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU CAN TRUST HIM?
fsa.uk: He is very reliable
if he is not reliable i would never have chosen him on this journey
i had rather go alone.
12:03 PM me: WHAT TRADES HAS HE DONE BEFORE THIS ONE?
fsa.uk: Yes this one.
He is not an expert G trader as I am
12:04 PM but he is very good in face to face chats
he has good command of english as I am
me: SO YOU HAVE TAKEN A COMPLETE NOVICE ON A MULTI-MILLION DOLLA TRADE?
12:06 PM fsa.uk: He is not a novice
He is not a professional as you and I
would you rather I take a professional who is not to be trusted with money?
12:08 PM as far as i am concerned this is not helping me at all
i mean this conversation
me: EEEEEE
12:09 PM fsa.uk: if you really want me to get the painting and weatherm4n's money you wont be wasting my time here
i really should be heading to bouake now
i have been online this long just to get Robert to send me the code to the payment he sent but till now i have nothing
12:10 PM how can i ever trust you if you will not be a helpful boss for one minute
12:11 PM you actually sounded helpful yesterday but today you sound more like a time waster
me: EEEEEEEEEEEE
12:12 PM I WANT TO SPEAK TO CHARLES. NOW.
I NEED TO KNOW IF I CAN TRUST HIM.
YOU HAVE NOT CONVINCED ME.
fsa.uk: CHARLES IS TRUSTED
me: lower case please...
fsa.uk: I DONT CARE
YOU ARE A TIME WASTER
12:13 PM WHY DO YOU LEQD PEOPLE ON AND THEN ABANDON THEM IN THE MIDDLE
me: PUT HIM ON THE LINE NOW, PLEASE.
fsa.uk: he is not here
he is in the hotel room
12:14 PM me: I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU, BUT I CANNOT HELP YOU UNTIL I KNOW ALL THE FACTS. SO I NEED TO TALK TO CHARLES.
fsa.uk: he cant leave the hotel room unless we pay all we owe
so i am doing all the run arounds
me: WHICH HOTEL?
12:15 PM fsa.uk: in Abidjan
me: "THE HOTEL IN ABIDJAN"?
IS THERE ONLY ONE?
fsa.uk: yeah
me: SO WHAT IS ITS NAME?
12:16 PM fsa.uk: there are several hotels in abidjan but we are lodged in one of the cheapest
me: WHAT IS IT CALLED?
fsa.uk: Hotel Climbqu3
that is the name
me: CLIMBQU3???
fsa.uk: it is very cheap yet we cant afford the bills
yes
12:17 PM me: WHY CAN'T CHARLES LEAVE THE ROOM?
fsa.uk: because that is the only way to assure them we wont run but pay whatever is owed
12:18 PM this people are very wicked
me: WICKED?
fsa.uk: Abidjan is a french speaking nation
me: DOES THAT MAKE THEM WICKED?
12:19 PM fsa.uk: if you dont speak french you are seen as an enemy
that is the problem
by trying to interact with them
me: WHY AN ENEMY?
fsa.uk: F*CK YOU SIR CHARLES Shocked

YOU ARE NOT HELPING ME AT ALL
12:20 PM YOU ARE A F*CKING TIME WASTER
TELL ROBERT TO HELL WITH HIS MONEY
I AM GOING TO FIND A WAY TO GET HOME
12:21 PM me: LISTEN DICKBRAIN - I WAS GOING TO OFFER TO GET ROBBIE TO PAY THE HOTEL DIRECT. YOU DO WANT THAT, DON'T YOU?
fsa.uk: I CANT BE WORKING WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESNT UNDERSTAND THAT I AM IN A MESS HERE
F*CK OFF
HE SENT ME 5k VIA WESTERN UNION AND SENT ME THE DETAILS
NOW I KNOW HE NEVER MADE ANY ¨PAYMENT
12:22 PM NO WONDER HE HAS REFUSED TO ANSWER ME ALL ALONG
me: CALM DOWN BOI. DO YOU KNOW WHAT ROAD THE HOLTEL CLIMQU3 IS ON?
fsa.uk: F*CK OFF
YOU ARE A TIME WASTER
me: SORRY - CLIMBQU3
12:23 PM DO YOU WANT ME TO PAY THE HOTEL OR NOT?
fsa.uk: IF YOU UNDERSTAND THE IMPORTANCE OF GETTING TO BOUAKE YOU WONT BE ADDING TO MY TROUBLE
TO HELL WITH YOUR MONEY
me: HOW IS PAYING THE HOTEL ADDING TO YOUR TROUBLE?
fsa.uk: YOU ARE A BLOODY LIAR
me: I DON'T UNDESRTAND
12:24 PM fsa.uk: YOU WILL NEVER PAY
YOU ARE A VERY BAD LIAR
YOU PROMISED SENDING MONEY THROUGH *** AND THAT NEVER HAPPED
ANYWAY I ASKED HIM NEVER TO DEAL WITH YOU AGAIN
12:25 PM ALSO ***
YOU ARE A BLOODY TIME WASTER
me: YOU MUST SORT THAT OUT WITH ROBBIE!!! I HAVE TOLD YOU I AM NOT A F*CKING IT HELP DESK!!
fsa.uk: THAT IS NOT TRUE
YOU CAN HELP ITS SIMPLE
IF INDEED YOU CARE ABOUT ME
12:26 PM HE CC YOU THE PAYMENT FILE
me: I CARE ABOUT YOU AND I CARE EVEN MORE ABOUT THE MONEY AND THE PAINTING I AM ABOUT TO GET FROM THE MUGU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fsa.uk: NO YOU DONT
me: OH YES I DO!!
fsa.uk: IF YOU DO YOU WILL DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE FOR ME TO MEET HIM TODAY
12:27 PM I WONT BE ABLE TO TRAVEL TO BOUQKE IF IT IS 2PM
I HAD BETTER GO HOME
me: LIKE PAYING THE HOTEL BILL SO CHARLES IS FREE TO TRAVEL, YOU MEAN?
fsa.uk: TRY AND PAY EVERYTHING I OWE HERE
me: I AM TRYING
HOW DID YO MANAGE TO PAY ALL YOUR EXPENSES SO FAR?
fsa.uk: I HAVE TO THE DRIVERS BILLS? HOTEL AND INTERNET BILLS
ALSO EXPENSES TO GET TO BOUAKE
12:28 PM me: HOW MUCH DO YOU OWE, AND HOW MUCH HAVE YOU PAID?
fsa.uk: THAT WAS WHY I NEEDED THE 5K
DONT ASK ME STUPID QUESTIONS
NOT NECESSARY NOW
me: GIVE ME THE FIGURES SO I CAN HELP. AND S L O W D O W N
12:29 PM fsa.uk: OPEN THE F*CKING ATTACHMENT PAYMENT FILE AND SEND ME THE VITAL DETAILS FOR WESTERN UNION
I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN IF YOU DO THAT
me: I AM NOT AN IT HELP DESK!!!!!
HOW MUCH DO YOU OWE? TO WHOM??
fsa.uk: OTHERWISE YOU CANNOT HELP ME HERE
me: I WANT TO HELP
12:30 PM fsa.uk: YOU ARE NOT HELPING ME IN ANY WAY
GOD KNOWS THAT
12:30 PM fsa.uk: THE BEST HELP IS GETTING ME THE PAYMENT INFO SO I CAN CLAIM THE MONEY VIA WESTERN UNION AND PAY ALL BILLS AND HEAD UP TO BOUAKE
12:32 PM fsa.uk: THAT IS BEST HELP
me: SORRY - I GOT CUT OFF. WHAT DID YOU JUST WRITE?
fsa.uk: HOW COULD YOU SAY YOU ARE TRYING TO HELP WHEN YOUR HELP IS A WASTE OF TIME
12:33 PM THE BEST HELP IS GETTING ME THE PAYMENT INFO SO I CAN CLAIM THE MONEY VIA WESTERN UNION AND PAY ALL BILLS AND HEAD UP TO BOUAKE
THATS THE BEST HELP NOW
OTHERWISE YOU ARE A TIME WASTER
12:34 PM me: CLOVE I NEED TO KNOW HOW MUCH YOU OWE, AND TO WHOM. YOU HAVE SAID HOW MUCH THESE PEOPLE ALL HATE YOU, AND HOW DANGEROUS THEY ARE. THAT PUTS YOU AT RISK, AND IT PUTS MY DOLLAZ AT RISK.
fsa.uk: YOU ARE A BLOODY TIME WASTER
HOW COULD YOUR MONEY BE AT RISK IF YOU SEND IT TO ME,
12:35 PM me: i meant the $250k and the painting i am going to get from the mugu
fsa.uk: YESTERDAY YOU ORDERED ROBERT TO SEND ME 5k HE ACTUALLY DID
MAYBE NOT
me: CLOVE I AM NOT AN IT HELP DESK. YOU NEED TO SORT THAT OUT WITH ROBBIE
fsa.uk: BUT I CANT GET HIM TO SEND ME THE PAYMENT INFO IN A SHORT WRITTEN MESSAGE
12:36 PM me: CLOVE THAT IS NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY
fsa.uk: YOUR 250,000 IS INTACT IF YOU HELP ME GET TO BOUAKE AND MEET WEATHERM4N
12:37 PM WHY SHOULD WE CONTINUE TO WASTE TIME IF YOU ARENT A TIME WASTER
GIVE ME ROBERT NUMBER SO I CAN CALL HIM RIGHT AWAY
OR HAVE HIM CALL ME ON
12:38 PM 00 225 *** ****
me: I WILL DO THAT. NOW, HOW MUCH IS YOUR DRIVER GOING TO CHARGE TO GET YOU TO BOUKA?
fsa.uk: ALL THE EXPENSES IS ALL ABOUT 5k
INCLUDING GOING TO BOUKA
me: SO FAR, OR ALL IN?
fsa.uk: ALL OF THEM
12:39 PM me: WHAT CURRENCY?
fsa.uk: 5k IN USD EQUIVALENT
NOW YOU HAVE STARTED AGAIN WITH YOUR TIME WASTING QUESTIONS
12:40 PM THAT MAKES NO SENSE TO ME IN THIS DESPERATE SITUATION
me: IT SHOULD DO - I AM WORKING OUT A WAY TO GET YOU TO BOUKA FOR ZERO CASH UP FRONT. WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?
fsa.uk: GIVE ME ROBERT NUMBER SO I CAN CALL HIM RIGHT AWAY
12:41 PM YOU ARE A BLOODY TIME WASTER
FOR SUGGESTING THIS OPTION
THIS CAN NEVER WORK
me: SOUNDS LIKE YOU WOULD PREFER TO STAY IN ABIDJAN...
fsa.uk: IT IS BETTER I RETURN Back to my base and forget everything about A4LA
12:42 PM so far it has caused me nothing but heart break
me: HOW WILL YOU GET HOME IF YOU HAVE NO MONEY?
fsa.uk: IT IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS
12:43 PM I WILL FIND A WAY EVEN IF IT TAKES ME MORE DAYS
me: DON'T YOU REALISE HOW USELESS YOUR THREAT IS? IF YOU CAN GET HOME, YOU CAN EASILY GET TO BOAKE!
fsa.uk: AS SOON AS I RETURN HOME I AM GOING TO DO AWAY WITH A4LA BUT YOU ARE NOT HELPING ME AT ALL AS AN ASSOCIATE OF A4LA
12:44 PM I HAVE NO MONEY TO GET TO BOUAKE
me: BUT BY THE TIME YOU GET HOME, YOU WILL HAVE $750,000 AND YOU WILL BE READY FOR YOUR NEXT ASSIGNMENT
fsa.uk: IF YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I WILL ADVICE YOU PAY A VISIT TO THE PSYCHATRIC HOME
12:45 PM IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I MEQNT TO SAY ABOVE
me: CLOVE I WILL PAY THE HOTEL AND RELEASE CHARLES. TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE! YOU NEED SOME SUPPORT HERE. WAIT A MINUTE - I WILL GOOGLE THE HOTEL CLIMBQU3. Evil or Very Mad

[off i go to check...]
fsa.uk: THEY HAVE NO INTERNET YOU ARE A F*CKING TIME WASTER
12:46 PM THEY DONT HAVE A WEBSITE
YOU SEE WHAT A F*CKING TIME WASTER YOU ARE
IF INDEED YOU ARE A TRUE BOSS YOU WILL UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO GET TO BOUAKE
12:47 PM BUT NOT SIR CH4RLES HE THINKS EVERYTHING IS ABOUT BRAINSTORMING
[I return...]
12:50 PM me: WHAT ROAD IS THE HOTEL ON?
fsa.uk: F*CK YOU
DONT ASK ME
12:51 PM YOU HAVE SO SCREWED MY MIND ALL ALONG WORKING WITH A4LA
I HAVENT ACHIEVED A CENT WORKING WITH A4LA
AND THE OPPORTUNITY I HAVE TO EARN FOR MY HARDWORK YOU CANT HELP ME TO ACHIEVE IT
DO YOU THINK THAT GIVES ME ANY JOY,
12:52 PM me: ???? I ONLY ASKED WHAT ROAD THE HOTEL IS ON...
12:56 PM I ALSO NEED TO SORT OUT THAT DRIVER OF YOURS, SO HE DOESN'T NEED PAYMENT IN ADVANCE TO TAKE YOU TO BOUKAE. ONCE I'VE TAKEN CARE OF THAT AND THE HOTEL BILL, I THINK YOU WILL AGREE THAT I HAVE SOLVED ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. (ASSUMING YOU HAVE NO OTHER DEBTS - BUT I GUESS YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT THEM BY NOW IF THEY WERE BOTHERING YOU). AGREED?
12:57 PM fsa.uk: GET ROBERT TO SEND ME THE DETAILS OF THE 5K HE SENT
me: OK
fsa.uk: THAT IS THE GREATEST HELP YOU CAN OFFER
12:58 PM OTHERWISE NOTHING YOU SAY MEANS ANYTHING TO ME
me: BUT YOU MUST NOT LET THE GREATEST BE THE ENEMY OF THE GOOD. I WANT TO SORT OUT THE HOTEL AND THE DRIVER TOO.
fsa.uk: STUPID EVASIONS
12:59 PM GET ROBERT GIVE YOU THE PAYMENT INFO- THATS THE BEST HELP GOOD SIR
OTHERWISE YOU ARE A F*CKING TIME WASTER
me: DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN LIKE THAT. SAY SORRY.
1:00 PM fsa.uk: OR GIVE ME HIS MOBILE NUMBER AND I CAN CALL HIM RIGHT AWAY
SORRY
me: DID I EVER SAY I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO HAVE THE $5K?
fsa.uk: NOPE
me: SO SAY SORRY AGAIN PLEASE.
fsa.uk: BUT PLEASE HELP ME FAST
SORRY
1:01 PM me: AND ARE YOU SORRY FOR YOUR INSULTNG WORDS EARLIER?
fsa.uk: AND I AM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING AS LONG AS YOU GET ROBERT TO SEND ME THE 5K INFO NOW
I AM VERY SORRY FOR EVERYTHING- FORGIVE ME
REMEMBER I AM YOUR BOI
1:02 PM me: AND AM I YOUR IT HELP DESK, OR YOUR OGA?
fsa.uk: I NEED TO GO GET A HOLD ON THAT WEATHERM4N I NEED TO KNOW IF THE PAINTING IS A G TRADE OR NOT
YOU ARE MY OGA
AND TRY TO UNDERSTAND YOUR BOI'S PLIGHT THAT MAKES YOU A BETTER OGA
1:03 PM me: OK. NOW WHERE IS YOUR DRIVER?
fsa.uk: A FEW YARDS AWAY
IN HIS CAR
GET ROBERT TO SEND THE 5k INFO SO WE CAN DRIVE TO WESTERN UNION TO PICK IT UP
1:04 PM AND HEAD STRAIGHT UP TO BOUAKE AFTER I CAN SETTLE ALL BILLS
PLEASE UNDERSTAND MY POOR SITUATION HERE
me: I NEED A QUICK WORD WITH YOUR DRIVER PLEASE. TRUST ME - YOU WILL FIND HE IS MUCH MORE COOPERATIVE AFTERWARDS!
1:05 PM fsa.uk: NOPE
THAT WONT HELP
ALL HE NEEDS NOW IS MONEY
me: BELIEVE ME, IT WILL!
fsa.uk: YOU CANT CONVINCE HIM WITH EMPTY WORDS
IS THIS YOUR IDEA OF HELPING ME
SORRY IT WONT EVER WORK
me: I WILL PROMISE HIM RICHES BEYIND HIS WILDEST DREAMS!
1:06 PM fsa.uk: HE TOLD ME HE AINT GOT MONEY TO FUEL HIS CAR FOR THE TRIP
HOW DO YOU THINK THAT CAN EVER HAPPEN
NOW YOU HAVE STARTED SAYING THOSE WORDS THAT GET ME ANGRY
1:07 PM me: CALM DOWN! YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS!
fsa.uk: GET ROBERT TO SEND YOU THE WESTERN UNION DETAILS NOW
1:08 PM I AM NOT CALMING DOWN YOU ARE SUGGESTING A FAILED SOLUTION
me: YOU DON'T KHOW WHAT MY SOLUTION IS!
fsa.uk: IFWE DRIVING TO WESTERN UNION HE WILL UNDERSTAND I HAVE MONEY TO PICK UP TO PAY HIM
YOUR SOLUTION IS EMPTY WORDS
1:09 PM me: MY LITTLE TRICK NEVER FAILS! Wink

YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS, DO YOU?
fsa.uk: IT NEVER WORK FOR AFRICANS WHO ARE NOT COMPUTER LETRATES
I DONT CARE
1:10 PM IT IS EMPTY GOOGLE CHAT AS FAR AS I KNOW
me: I'VE THOUGHT OF A NEW WORD FOR EMPTY GOOGLE CHAT: "CLIMBQU3" Laughing

fsa.uk: I HAVE 51 MINUTES TO BEGIN TO MOVE TO BOUAKE OTHERWISE NO MORE I CAN GO THERE
1:11 PM me: THEN GET ME THE DRIVER NOW. HE WILL DRIVE YOU STRAIGHT THERE AFTER HE SPEAKS TO ME!
fsa.uk: YOU ARE NOT BRINGING ME SOLUTION BUT HEART BREAKING ISSUES
1:12 PM I DONT BELIEVE THAT EVER
me: DON'T BE SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN! LISTEN - THIS WILL WORK!!!
fsa.uk: HE CQNT SEE YOU BUT HE SEES ME
I DONT BELIEVE THAT
me: GET HIM IN!
I WANT TO CHAT
fsa.uk: NOPE
me: WHYEVER NOT?
1:13 PM fsa.uk: IF THAT IS YOUR OWN WAY OF HELP. I AM SORRY IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE
NOBODY IS A FOOL
me: EEEEEEEE
I SAID: GET HIM IN
fsa.uk: CAN EMPTY WORDS REFUEL A CAR
U ANSWER
me: NO - HE MUST ANSWER
1:14 PM fsa.uk: HE CANT EVEN TYPE ON A KEYBOARD
me: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?
HE CAN DRIVE A CAR...
fsa.uk: HE IS HERE NOW LOOKING
I ASKED SOMEONE TO GET HIM HERE
me: GREAT!
1:15 PM SAY HELLO TO HIM FOR ME.
fsa.uk: OK
HE IS ANGRY HE SAYS THIS IS CHILDREN PLAY THING
AND THAT I AM WASTING HIS TIME
YOU SEE WHAT I TOLD YOU
1:16 PM me: BUT YOU ARE HIS CUSTOMER.
ASK HIM WHAT HIS NAME IS.
fsa.uk: CUSTOMER WHO HAS REFUSED TO PAY HIS BILLS?
me: TELL HIM I WILL PAY HIM.
fsa.uk: HIS NAME IS EFFIONG
me: GOOD
1:17 PM fsa.uk: HE SAID WHERE IS THE MONEY
me: CAN HE READ?
fsa.uk: YES
me: OK - TELL HIM TO READ THIS - OK?
fsa.uk: OK
1:18 PM me: BONJOUR MONSIEUR EFFIONG. DITES-MOI - ON VOUS DOIT COMBIEN, EXACTEMENT? Wink

[loooooonnnnnnnnnnnggggg pause!]
1:19 PM HELLO?!?!?!
fsa.uk: YES HE IS HERE
me: STILL THERE ANYONE???!?!?!?
SO WHAT DOES HE SAY?
1:20 PM fsa.uk: HE SAID 2000 DOLLARS
me: POURQUOI SI PEU?
fsa.uk: AND HE IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITHOUT HIS MONEY BEING PAID
1:21 PM THAT IS WHAT HE SAID
HE DOESNT CARE WHETHER IT IS SMALL OR BIG. ALL HE EVER ASK IS HIS MONEY
1:22 PM NOW HE IS ATTRACTING PEOPLE ATTENTION HERE AND CREATING A SCENE
me: QU'EST-CE QUE VOUS PEnSEZ DE MON AMI, ET DE SES AFFAIRES?
fsa.uk: YOU SEE WHAT I TOLD YOU
He said I should tell you that I am not reliable
for not paying him

At this point, SlapHappy showed up in another chat box. I persuaded dickboi to have a group chat with Emi1 (=SH) about his t-shirts etc but by the time we had wasted another half hour trying and failing to arrange this, I lost interest and logged off.

Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 3:10 pm

Brilliant move, asking the driver questions in French. I love watching you all twist this guy by every available appendage. For some reason I pictured Ninastian as Bugs Bunny, and lad as Yosemite Sam during that chat.

Should we take up a collection to get the driver paid directly and send him home? Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 3:17 pm

Thank you everyone, but the real credit for that call goes to David (or his friend?). That ridiculous voice made the call hilarious! Laughing

So Robert's mailbox has been spammed with all sorts of pleas for money. Nothing more interesting than what Ninastian has already posted. However, he did send me this gem:

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

To call me dial 00225603xxxxx on your US phone mobile. That should do the simple trick. You only add "00" which I did above- that's the international exchange prefix to call Abidjan. Then, "225" as you could see is the country's code (Cote D Ivoire). Finally, "603xxxxx" is the local number.

Don't add 011 as you always do calling my Ghana and Nigeria numbers.

We lost communication yesterday in the heat of our conversation because I was out of unit.

If I manage to come to Bouake and you are not there; I am not going to take it slightly with you. You have caused me more pain than is necessary. Now I am getting prepared to take the last chance to find you.

Charles was very sick last night but he is getting better now. As at the time he was speaking to you he was shivering. He had headache and general body pains. One of the security officers clapped him mercilessly while we were in police custody. He wasn't harrassed sexually, he was rather molest and then we treated as though we were criminals loitering around Pullman just to find you.

Anyway, on behalf of A4LA, I would be glad to have any of those paintings from Gardener Museum stolen back in 1990. For now I don't think that is necessary now; unless we meet face to face. As soon as I am able to retrieve the money an associate sent me we should be on our way to Bouake and make sure your phone is on. We are going to be in a hotel and you must come there. As soon as I can see you then I can follow you to wherever you are with Charles. I amafraid this is for our safety. I am sure you would not rather we lose our life trying to find you.

Have a great day

Something tells me he won't be leaving Abidjan today... but it sounds like he's ready to give us one more chance. Speaking of giving things one more chance, he tried SS one more time to get Robert's payment information, but only answered 18 questions this time. Pathetic. Here are a couple of the better ones:

Quote:

Session starttime: 2009-03-19 00:51:22(GMT-7)
Session endtime: 2009-03-19 00:57:57(GMT-7)
Answers: 18

Q: What gangs exist in this country and in your home country?
A: There are rebels in this country; but in my country there are thieves
Q: Broken the law?
A: Nope. Never all my life
Q: What are the positive or negative things about being a child?
A: POSITIVE; life is sweet
Q: About how many hours a day do you use the Internet?
A: maybe 2 hours daily
Q: Where is your dad?s family from?
A: Egypt in Africa
Q: Which Cornish village claims to be the birthplace of King Arthur?
A: I have no idea
Q: Is there a history of volunteerism in your country?
A: Yes very much so
Q: Have you ever experienced discrimination on a personal level?
A: I don't think I can figure that out now

Maybe he'll eventually go back and do all 50 questions. Rolling Eyes

Trophy Videos · Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 4:19 pm

I just loved this line from the lad in the chat! Laughing

Quote:

IF YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I WILL ADVICE YOU PAY A VISIT TO THE PSYCHATRIC HOME

Look who's talkin'! Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 11:11 pm

He sent this to J. Walter:

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

Subject: Last trying chance

I am giving you one last chance, otherwise never contact me again. It would have been over before you know it. In other words, it will mean I would be done with you forever. Honestly you have done more harm to us than good. I have spent wasted days here and that includes Accra and yet WITHOUT MEETING YOU as originally planned. Do you think it makes me a happy person in a second?

Listen, I will pretend that all the disappointments we had in the past doesn't matter a thing if you follow my simple instruction this time. You will find that I am a very understanding person. Here is what I suggest you do now:

First thing tommorrow morning, you MUST locate Union Transport of Bouake ( UTB- Union des Transport Bouake bus station), as soon as you can locate that station in Bouake- try to liaise with their transport manager and let him know you are sending money to someone in Abidjan, definitely you will need to pay transfer charges. Send 5,000 USD only; that should take care of all bills and ensure we can make it to Bouake as quikly as possible tomorrow for our meeting and the grand celebration if you really care. And that also means if you really care about us meeting, otherwise I might just regard you as a time waster and return to progress what all I can over my late wife's burial plans and in the aftermath return to my base in the UK. And to tell you what; that obviously will be in the end of our connection forever. No going back.

On the other hand if you deeply care about us- Charles and I, you MUST do this.
In order to get to this bus station described above, you must get a local driver or someone who speaks or understands French to guide you or take you there to strike a deal with the transport company manager.

After they process the payment, you will be given a secret code you can send to me via e-mail for collection. Send the money in the driver's name- Jacks0n P0wel. I do want him to have confidence in me again.

If at the end of the day we are not able to collect the money, we can sue the company for fraud etc. You don't have to worry about that. Just leave how we are to manage their default in my custody as long as you make the payment as instructed.

You must know I had problem opening the Western Union payment attachment sent by Robert earlier and that was why I sent it to you to open it and forward me the vital details. I was able to re-open the document a few hours ago but the transfer information was wrong. Robert sent the money to Ghana instead of Abidjan. They told me it will take 72 hours to be corrected. I don't think I have such time to wait. This is the reason I need you to do what I say now.Besides Robert is not available to make amends. I can't be waiting here for eternity.

I will trust that you care deeply about us if you follow this simple instruction, otherwise I have no reason to believe anything you say henceforward. It's your call.

Enjoy each moment.

If you'll notice, David gave me an out. As long as I make the payment I am not responsible if the money is stolen. We can sue! Very Happy

Meanwhile, this is the bit of exchange from Robert:

Robert wrote:

send from western union in uk

i use new code much safer:

Sender: <name converted from ascii to binary>

MTCN: <9-digit number converted from ascii to binary>

Mr. Sh3rman wrote:

Robert,

What kind of new code is this? And how does it work?? I hope you are not fooling around with me. If indeed you sent payment forward me the real details; otherwise let know how to encode the code. If it turns out that you sent me unscrupulous information as payment information you will be sorry I promise you. I never did anything of such to you or have I?

Robert wrote:

dont worry i dont fool around when it come to g trade. this is binary code. money is there. u can still use s3cur1ty sh1eld site. jus answer all da questions.

If I send the money through the Bouake transportation thing I can at least buy another day of him wasting away in Abidjan. At best I can convince him that I sent the funds and that as I feared it was stolen. We'll see where this takes us. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2009 11:23 pm

David may not have moved today, y'all still kept me in stitches!! Laughing

Ninastian, I am sure DQ loves this part of your chat this morning:

oga to broke lad wrote:

DON'T BE SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN!

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 12:17 am

Another night in the big city of lights. Lucky guy. I noticed that the lad gave us the fourth different name for the "driver." This is turning into one big blusterf*k! Laughing

Meanwhile he apologises to Emil, although you would think he has more important things to waste him time on today. Smile

Quote:

subject RE: Digitalized T-shirt Printing OK!

My dear Emil,

I am truly sorry about our googlechat network challenges earlier today. I like to inform you that your T-shirt printing work is in progress. You are going to have it by next week I promise.

The printing is very wonderful. You will love it. I have had to travel to Abidjan to ensure the silkscreen printing job is perfect.

Should you need to speak to me in any urgency, you can call me on 00 225 xxxxxxxx
Rich@rd He@d
PS Sir Charles understands.

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 12:53 am

Quote:

me: I WILL PRETEND THAT I DID NOT READ THAT.
11:34 AM dumb.lad: i am going to pretend i never said anything to hurt you

Brilliant!

And the EEEEEEE and LLLL 's were priceless - it reminded me of the Bonkers Scottish woman in Green Wing using a buzzer on her desk to indicate the things she didn't agree with in a conversation - if I can find the clip on youtube I'll post it.

I can't believe he is shitting you that a taxi ride is $2000 and his hotel is $3000 owed - does he really think you're that stupid? I had a buddy catch a taxi from Vegas to Canada for not much more than that during 9/11 when US flights were grounded and he had to fly back to London urgently.

Everyone, this is pure comedy gold, thank you Smile

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 1:20 am

You could call him at 3am to instruct him of urgent additional payment modalities. Cool

This has made my day, even being home with the flu.

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 1:45 am

I'm glad this has helped to lift your spirits, Tuco! Very Happy

David and I have spoken so many times today that it's not worth posting most of them... but these last two were pretty fun. I don't think anything can live up to that last call, but whoever is playing his driver got pretty mad at me. And how about the two feeble attempts at Tina? Laughing

Take a listen: CLICK!

How about this for hitting him where it hurts (no, not there... his wallet/purse)... I just checked, and he has called me and we've spoken for about 72 minutes on the phone in total TODAY. That must be costing him a fortune! Laughing

Juan's stalker Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 1423

2nd wife Dora wrote:

Quote:

Ninastian, I am sure DQ loves this part of your chat this morning:

oga to broke lad wrote:
DON'T BE SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN!

I did LOVE that and it aint no LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. Laughing

I loved this too.

Quote:

CLOVE IF YOU HAD GIVEN ME THE BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS OF YOUR NON-US CONTACTS, I WOULDN'T JUST HAVE HAD TO PAY $3M TO SOME COKED-UP MEXICAN WITH A PROSTITUTE IN EVERY CUPBOARD!!!

Really?

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

@ BB

Another vintage recording! Very Happy

This guy is Nigeria's answer to Basil Fawlty!!!!!!! Superb improv on your part!!!! "Tell Tina that you think she smells nice" was a particular favourite of mine!

Dickboi was trying to get hold of me on googlechat as soon as I logged on this morning. I told him to hang on for a minute. In the meantime I have listened to last night's recording, had breakfast and typed this, thus creating half an hour of quality time for Dickboi. I hope he used it profitably. Twisted Evil

Now for a good long chat!

N

Edit to add: BTW BB I thought that dickboi himself was playing the driver. What do you think? He certainly didn't have a French accent...

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 9:36 am

Meh. He's obviously moved Capt. Mal into the "Fuhgeddaboutit" category. I send him reminders but never get any replies!

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

WRONG Yastreb!!!

Watch this space... Wink

And don't stop those NYC chop death threats - they will keep you on his radar.

N

Posted: Fri Mar 20, 2009 10:50 am

OK...

Should I hint that I know where he normally is? Or stick with tracking him down in Kuwait or Pakistan? Please PM or drop me a line.

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

^^^^^^^^

I think you should hint that you are beginning to find out some RL details from various sources, but don't reveal what. He will of course be secretly dreading you ganging up with Mg0g0... Evil or Very Mad

419Eater is my life Joined: 19 Sep 2006 Posts: 416

I couldn't believe this was really happening either... Shocked

Quote:

8:55 AM me: HOW ARE YOU THIS MORNING CLOVE? DID YOU SLEEP WELL?
8:56 AM dickboi: Oh thanks for being so caring for the first time
Well, I am not sleeping well
me: WHERE ARE YOU STAYING?
dickboi: I really need to meet Weatherm4n but I am incapacitated
8:57 AM I am staying in a hotel
and my bills are piling up
me: WHY ARE YOU PAYING FOR A HOTEL WHEN YOU HAVE NO MONEY?
8:58 AM dickboi: I am not paying yet
8:59 AM But I am going to pay as soon as I can arrange money
Now I dont want to discuss that today
what is the good news you have to tell me?
9:00 AM me: I WILL COME TO THAT IN A MINUTE. I JUST WANT TO SORT OUT YOUR EXPENSES FOR YOU. WOULD YOU LIKE NOT TO HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR EXPENSES?
dickboi: Get Robert to send me the 5K that is all I ask
nothing else matters
9:01 AM me: PLEASE CLOVE, I CARE FOR YOUR WELL-BEING. I ALSO APPRECIATE A LITTLE BASIC COURTESY - THAT WHEN I MAKE A KIND OFFER, IT IS TREATED WITH RESPECT AND NOT EVASION.
9:02 AM YOU HAVE OFFENDED ME.
dickboi: You have screwed with my mind
maybe you think it is fun
9:03 AM Do you think it makes me happy
how could you make things difficult for me as my boss?
me: I FIND THOSE COMMENTS DEEPLY OFFENSIVE TOO.
9:04 AM I OFFER TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER BY PAYING YOUR BILLS, AND YOU ACCUSE ME OF MAKING YOUR LIFE *HARDER*?!?!?!?! IT MAKES NO SENSE CLOVE.
dickboi: Ok sorry
me: RIGHT. SO I WILL RENEW MY OFFER TO PAY ALL YOUR EXPENSES DIRECT.
9:05 AM INCLUDING THE HOTEL CLIMBQU3.
IN FACT, I WILL GET YOU A ROOM UPGRADE.
dickboi: thank you
me: AND SOME CHAMPAGNE SENT TO YOUR ROOM.
9:06 AM AND A PROSTITUTE.
dickboi: hahaha
Enough of the jokes
what good news have you got for me?
9:07 AM me: ONE MORE QUESTION - DO YOU SNORT?
Wink

9:08 AM dickboi: Nope
me: OK - WHAT DO YOU LIKE DOING INSTEAD?
dickboi: I think I have Robert payment details now
through using the binary code
me: YOU PREFER THAT TO COCAINE?
dickboi: I have to go to Western Union now
9:09 AM Please I am going to be back in a moment please
me: BUT I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU THE GOOD NEWS!!
dickboi: or call me at 00 22 ********
wat d good news
9:10 AM tell me fast
me: WELL IT CAN WAIT, IF YOU'VE GOT YOUR HEART SET ON GOING TO THE WESTERN UNION BANK...
WHEN WILL YOU BE BACK?
I'VE GOT A BUSY MORNING THOUGH - MAY NOT BE FREE TIL 3-ISH
dickboi: I have to be back in less than one hour
9:11 AM ok
me: SORRY - YOU MEAN IT WILL TAKE YOU AN HOUR?
dickboi: but can you give me a glimpse of what the good news is about
30 minutes
me: IT NEEDS TO BE EXPLAINED IN CONTEXT CLOVE. WILL YOU BEAR WITH ME?
9:12 AM dickboi: ok go ahead
but please make it snappy
9:13 AM me: BY THE WAY, HOW DID YOU SORT OUT THAT BINARY CODE BUSINESS? ALL I CAN REMEMBER FROM SCHOOL IS THAT 1=1, 10=2 AND SO ON.
dickboi: yeah
i did some mathematics lol
1 is 0
9:14 AM not 1
so please go on with the good news talk
9:15 AM me: NO - 1 IS 1. DEFINITELY. IF YOU DECODE 1 AS 0, YOU WILL HAVE WASTED A JOURNEY TO THE BANK.
BELIEVE ME CLOVE.
dickboi: ok
i tried the SECUR3 shie1d
9:16 AM and it gave me a similar code
so either of them should work
i am hopeful unless robert never sent money
me: YOU JUST NEED TO REMEMBER THAT BINARY IS LIKE COUNTING ON HANDS WITH ONE FINGER RATHER THAN FIVE. IT'S QUITE EASY WHEN YOU CAN GET TO GRIPS WITH THAT CONCEPT.
9:17 AM dickboi: Thanks for the advice
You are a great boss
me: BTW ROBERT WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN. REMEMBER, YOU ARE HIS BOSS.
9:18 AM dickboi: Thank you Sir
I trust you
9:19 AM me: ON WHICH SUBJECT, NOW THAT YOU ARE ROBBIE'S BOSS, WHAT RIGHTS WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE OVER HIM?
dickboi: I promise to deliver on Emil if I can conclude the Weatherm4n business
I like to be fair with my associates
9:20 AM we are going to talk more about that later
me: THANK YOU. NOW, I NEED TO MAKE SURE YOU WILL BE AN EFFECTIVE BOSS TO ROBBIE.
dickboi: but is that the good news
me: TELL ME - IF HE IS INCOMPETENT AND FAILS TO DELIVER IN LINE WITH OUR CORPORATE VALUES - HOW DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DISCIPLINE HIM?
9:21 AM dickboi: I am going to invite Captain to Golden Tulip too
and we are going to kidnap him there lol [Yastreb take note!!!] Very Happy

me: VERY GOOD! BUT TELL ME ABOUT HOW YOU WILL MANAGE ROBBIE.
IF HE IS INCOMPETENT AND FAILS TO DELIVER IN LINE WITH OUR CORPORATE VALUES - HOW DO YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DISCIPLINE HIM?
9:22 AM dickboi: First I will make sure he understands the rules
me: AND THEN...?
dickboi: so in that respect he doesnt violate it
if he does, he will go on suspension etc
not killing him
9:23 AM please i am gonna be back shortly
me: QUITE RIGHT - YOU ARE NOT YET SENIOR ENOUGH TO MAKE "TERMINAL CAREER DECISIONS". THAT TOOK ME 15 YEARS Smile

AND WHAT IF ROBBIE LIES TO YOU?

[THE CHEEKY BASTARD THEN F*CKS OFF FOR

42 minutes

TRYING TO GET HIS GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS ON THE $5K THAT IS BEING SENT TO HIM BY YOUNG ROBBIE (= BLUTH) USING S3CUR3 SHI3LD]
10:06 AM me: CLOVE WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? I CAN'T STAY HERE WAITING FOR YOU ALL MORNING!!!!! I HAVE ALREADY HAD TO CANCEL A MEETING!!!!!! YOU INSOLENT BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:17 AM dickboi: I am back Sir
Robert sent me a wrong payment details
I am very angry why he did that
10:18 AM me: BACK FROM WHERE?????
WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?????
10:19 AM dickboi: Sorry Sir I went to Western Union
me: DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION?
dickboi: Sorry Sir
10:20 AM But you understand I need to catch up quick with Weatherm4n appointment
it takes 7-8 hours to get to Bouake from Abidjan
me: DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION????
dickboi: I am sorry Sir
10:21 AM But I told you I was going to be back in less than 30 minutes
did I not say so.
me: DID I GIVE YOU PERMISSION??????????
dickboi: NO
I am sorry once again
10:22 AM me: REPEAT AFTER ME:
I
dickboi: I
10:23 AM me: CLOVE
dickboi: CL4VE
me: NO - CLOVE
dickboi: CLOVE
me: AM A
dickboi: AM A
me: WASTE
10:24 AM dickboi: WASTE
me: OF
dickboi: OF
me: SKIN,
10:25 AM dickboi: SKIN
me: AND A COMPLETE
dickboi: AND A COMPLETE
me: TOTAL AND UTTER
10:26 AM dickboi: TOTAL AND UTTER
me: INSOLENT FUCKWIT
dickboi: INSOLENT FUCKWIT
me: WHO IS NEVER HAPPIER
dickboi: WHO IS NEVER HAPPIER
me: THAN I AM WHEN
10:27 AM dickboi: THAN I AM WHEN
me: PENETRATING GOATS
dickboi: PENETRATING GOATS
me: ROUGHLY
10:28 AM dickboi: ROUGHLY
me: FROM
dickboi: FROM
10:29 AM me: BEHIND.
dickboi: BEHIND
me: OK. NOW LET'S PUT THAT IN THE PAST AND MOVE ON, SHALL WE?
dickboi: OK BOSS
me: lower case
10:30 AM dickboi: ok sir
me: SO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED AT THE BANK - THEN WE WILL DICSCUSS YOU AN DROBBIE.
10:31 AM dickboi: The western union agent told me the control number 9***1 is wrong
10:32 AM can you please get Rob to confirm it immediately pls sir?
me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WRONG"?
dickboi: the data doesnt exist in their database
which means it is wrong
10:33 AM me: WHERE DID THE NUMBER COME FROM? IS IT ROBBIE'S ACCOUNT NUMBER?
dickboi: nope
10:34 AM it is the secret code i need to claim the money from western union
the 5k he was supposed to send me
it is not bank account number
me: BUT ROBBIE SENT YOU THE NUMBER AND YOU DECODED IT FROM BINARY, RIGHT?
10:35 AM dickboi: I couldnt successfully decode it but i used the security site details
me: ???SECURITY SITE???
10:36 AM dickboi: yes he asked me to check out http://S3CUR3ptv.info
to get the control number as he wasnt comfortable sending secret payment information over an unsecure server
10:37 AM he told
me: I'LL LOOK INTO THAT. BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE ROBBIE DID ALL HE COULD - INCLUDING TAKING OUR CORPORATE DATA SECURITY REGUALTIONS SERIOUSLY. WHY ARE YOU BLAMING HIM?
10:38 AM dickboi: nope
me: ???
YOU MEAN YOU ARE NOT BLAMING HIM?
dickboi: I am not blaming you at all
me: HIM, NOT ME!
10:39 AM WHY ARE YOU BLAMING ROBBIE?
dickboi: please i need you to get him to send the data
me: CLOVE HE HAS DONE THAT ALREADY.
YOU TOLD ME!!
10:40 AM IS THIS HOW YOU PROPOSE TO MANAGE HIM, NOW THAT I HAVE PUT YOU IN CHARGE OF HIM? IS THAT THE THANKS I GET???
10:42 AM dickboi: sorry i had some network challenges
back to your last update
the details robbie sent me is not very clear
please get him to send you the info so you can forward to me via googlechat pls
i know you are no it help desk
10:45 AM me: CLOVE, DON'T YOU GET IT - YOU ARE HIS BOSS NOW. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO MICRO-MANAGE EVERY SINGLE ASPECT OF THE BUSINESS. LORD KNOWS, I HAVE ALREADY WASTED HALF MY MORNING (AND MISSED AN IMPORTANT MEETING) AND ALL BECAUSE OF THIS DRIVEL YOU ARE BORDERING ME WITH. YOU REALLY DO SEEM TO THINK THAT THE WHOLE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU, CLOVE! WELL LET ME TELL YOU - IT DOESN'T!!! DOES THE PRINCIPLE OF CENTRALLY-ADMINISTERD DEVOLVED LINE MANAGEMENT MEAN NOTHING TO YOU???!?!?!?!?!?
10:46 AM dickboi: I am sorry for wasting your time
ok can you please give me rob cell number to call him
since i m his boss now
10:47 AM me: SHITTY DEATH MAN HAVE YOU NEVER READ OUR DATA SECURITY RULES?!?!?!?!?!!? WHAT THE HELL SORT OF EXAMPLE IS THIS TO SET YOUNG ROBBIE????!?!?!
10:48 AM dickboi: I dont have this rule yet
me: DO YOU KNOW HOW SACRED OUR CELLPHONE NUMBERS ARE????!?!?!?!?!?
ARSEHOLE!!!
dickboi: i dont quite get you sir
10:49 AM me: ANYWAY, I HAVE HAD A QUICK LOOK AT THAT SECURE WEBSITE. IT LOOKS OK TO ME. WHAT WAS THE PROCEDURE?
dickboi: i followed all the steps and it gave me a control number
me: "THE STEPS"???
10:50 AM dickboi: and i couldnt claim the money with that number
it is a set of questionaires i answered
and yet the final information they gave could not help me collect the 5K rob sent
me: WHAT SORT OF QUESTIONS?
10:51 AM dickboi: my name
etc
other general question that concerns human life
me: OMG - LIKE WHAT?
10:52 AM dickboi: who is your best friend?
do you like surfing?
etc
now I have completed the set of questions again and here is the final answer it gave me

[he quotes from the site]

10:53 AM unfortunately the number is not correct at Western Union so I think Rob may be wrong
10:54 AM me: OMG - THIS IS NOTHING TO DO WITH ROB! LISTEN CLOVE YOU HAVE TO THINK HARD. HOW MANY OF THE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS CAN YOU REMEMBER?
dickboi: it has everything to do with Rob
10:55 AM if the payment details he inputted was correct I should not have had problem at Western Union
Now you want to start your attitude that gets me very angry
10:56 AM is telling you what questions and answers i submitted to the secure site that is the problem now or getting the right information
me: CLOVE YOU SHOULD BE ANGRY - WITH YOURSELF! THIS IS IMPORTANT!! HOW MANY OF THE QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS CAN YOU REMEMBER?
10:58 AM dickboi: That cant change anything
unless you have your IT people who wrote the program
10:59 AM me: YOU SEE I THINK YOU MAY HAVE FALLEN FOR THE OLD CIA S3Qs ROUTINE (OR WHATEVER THEY CALL IT NOW). IT IS ONE OF THE OLDEST TRICKS IN THE BOOK. BEEN AROUND SINCE THE DAYS OF MCCARTHY - THEY USED IT TO DETECT HIDDEN COMMIES - YOU KNOW, THE YELLOW PERIL AND ALL THAT.
JUST TELL ME A FEW MORE OF THE QUESTIONS
11:00 AM dickboi: how do you childproof a bathroom happy crowd

that I can remember now
and my answer was. taking all safety precautions possible
11:01 AM Honestly this is not a solution but a complicating deliberation
I dont like that
11:02 AM me: AS EACH NEW QUESTION CAME UP, DID YOU THINK "WTF HAS THAT GOT TO DO WITH MY $5K?"
dickboi: Nope
I only know there were security questions and I answered them honestly yet the payment information they gave was wrong at western union
11:03 AM me: YOU MEAN YOU COULD SEE SOME LOGIC IN THEM?
dickboi: Yes logic
You are correct
11:04 AM me: YOU DICKBRAIN!!! BY ANSWERING THEM HONESTLY, YOU HAVE AS GOOD AS SENT THEM AN E-MAIL SAYING "DON'T PAY ME THIS MONEY - I AM A FRAUD STAR!"
11:05 AM dickboi: This question doesnt have to do with A4LA or Rob
this is just some personal questions
me: THAT'S THE ONLY LOGIC IN THE QUESTIONS - THEY ARE SUBLIMIN4L ENTR4PMENT QUESTIONS, DESIGNED TO FIND OUT ABOUT YOUR TRUE PERSONALITY AND MOTIVES.
11:06 AM dickboi: I understand but I am not stupid you know
me: WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK THEY WERE ASKING YOU ABOUT BATHROOM SECURITY?!?!?!?!?
11:07 AM dickboi: that is their own problem
whatever question they ask doesnt make them term me as a fraud star
me: WRONG!!!!
dickboi: I cant be stupid to answer to question that can be implicating
11:08 AM me: OH YES YOU CAN!!
dickboi: I am no fool
Not true
me: WORDS FAIL ME...
dickboi: I dont quite agree with that
11:09 AM me: SO WHERE IS YOUR $5K THEN, EINSTEIN?
dickboi: Rob is the sender so he can get me the details
11:10 AM its as simple as abc
instead of dealing with a stupid security website
yet they couldnt give me the correct data
me: HE NEEDS TO SET UP A COMPLETELY NEW TRANSACTION. FROM A DIFFERENT COMPUTER. DIFFERENT AMOUNT, DIFFERENT PAYEE. AND YOU NEED TO ANSWER THE QUESTIONS AS IF YOU WERE NOT A FRAUD STAR. TELL ME, WHO IS THE MOST HONEST PERSON YOU KNOW?
11:12 AM dickboi: can he not go straight to western union direct
me: ???
dickboi: does he do the transfer via electronic means?
I dont understand what is cooking here
11:13 AM me: HTF SHOULD I KNOW HOW HE SETS IT UP? I'M NOT A FUCKING ACCOUNTS CLERK!!!!
dickboi: first i need to know if he went to western union to make the transfer
11:14 AM i dont think there should be problem with the control number unless it was his mistake filing the security website infp
11:15 AM me: YOUR ANSWERS PROBABLY GENERATED AN ALERT CODE FOR THE BANK EMPLOYEES. SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE LUCKY NOT TO BE ARREESTED! LISTEN - I KNOW HOW THESE TESTS WORK. THEY DETECT FOR SUBLIMINAL CONNECTIONS. QUESTIONS LOOK LIKE THEY ARE NOT RELATED BUT THEY ARE. THEY BUILD UP A COMPLEX PSYCHOLOGICAL PICTURE. TELL ME - HOW MANY DID YOU ANSWER? I BET IT WAS AT LEAST 75.
11:17 AM dickboi: the questions were up to 40
not up to 75
the questions were mainly on if i hqve been convicted on a crime and if i know anyone involved in criminal activities
11:18 AM and i said no and that i am not involved in anything illegal
does that suppose to alert the bank that i am a fraud star?
11:20 AM Just please get Rob to confirm to you the number and you can tell me on here
this is the easiest way please
9**********1
call him and ask him to confirm if this payment no is correct or not
11:21 AM i think there is a mistake on his part
not on the aspect of the security site people
they have no way to detect that i am indulge in any illegal businesses
this is one fact you must know
I am no chicken brain
11:23 AM secondly how can you say I am Rob's boss when he doesnt have any respect for me again
well that doesnt matter anything to me
me: IT'S NOT JUST WHAT YOU SAY, IT'S HOW YOU SAY IT!! YOU MENTION 40 QUESTIONS - THEY MUST HAVE MADE THE QUESTIONS MORE EFFECTIVE THAN THEY WERE BEFORE. I REMEMBER BACK IN THE 1980s I WAS TRYING TO GET INTO THE USA ON A FORGED PASSPORT. THOSE BASTARDS INTERROGATED ME FOR 2 HOURS. THEY WERE WEARING IMMIGRATION UNIFORMS BUT I KNEW THEY WERE CIA. THEY ASKED ME ALL THESE STUPID QUESTIONS. I KNEW THEY WERE TRYING TO TRICK ME, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW HOW. THINGS LIKE "COULD A RABBIT BEAT A MINK AT CHESS?" AND "WHAT MAKES CHEESE CHEESY" AND "IF I HAVE 420 OREOS AND I SEND ONE OF THEM INTO SPACE, HOW MANY AM I LEFT WITH?" - THAT SORT OF SHIT. BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW I GOT AWAY WITH IT CLOVE? I SAID TO MYSELF, "STAY IN CHARACTER, CHARLES". MY CHARACTER WAS A WEALTHY PHILANTHROPIST ON HIS WAY TO FOUND A HOSPITAL FOR CHILDREN WITH URINARY INFECTIONS. SO I STUCK TO THAT CHARACTER THROUGHOUT THE INTERROGATION. I ANSWERED EVERY QUESTION AS THOUGH I WERE A MAN OF GOD - NOT "HONESTLY*, BUT *IN CHARACTER. THAT IS WHAT YOU MUST DO CLOVE.
11:26 AM DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
11:27 AM dickboi: Yes Sir
me: GREAT!
dickboi: But if you were in Bernard Macdoff position what would you have done?
11:28 AM to escape lots of counts on him etc
me: GOOD QUESTION. TIME FOR SOME COACHING, METHINKS!
11:29 AM CLOVE - I WANT YOU TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS AS YOU WOULD IF YOU WERE BEING HONEST. THEN I WILL TELL YOU HOW YOU SHOULD ANSWER THEM. OK?
dickboi: OK
11:30 AM me: GREAT. ANSWER THIS HONESTLY (IE AS YOU WOULD HAVE ANSWERED THE QUESTIONS ON THE WEBSITE). "ARE HIGH OIL PRICES A GOOD THING?"
11:31 AM dickboi: I don't think it is nice at all because not all citizens can cope in such high priced condition
11:32 AM that is what I am going to answer
me: OK - NEXT ONE: "CAN A WORM EAT ITSELF?"
dickboi: Of course not. It"s ridiculous:
Or I had say that makes no sense
or a simple NO answer
11:33 AM me: OK. "WHY DID THE ROMANS FAIL TO SUSTAIN THEIR EMPIRE?"
dickboi: I have no idea
that is my answer
I wont answer to what I dont know
11:34 AM me: FAIR ENOUGH. WHAT ABOUT "HOW ATTRACTIVE IS MICHELLE OBAMA?"
11:35 AM dickboi: I think she is a dark pretty queen but I havent seen her in the flesh. I have only seen her on TVs
that would be my answer
11:36 AM me: THANK YOU CLOVE. JUST GIVE ME A SECOND AND I WILL REVIEW YOUR ANSWERS.
dickboi: ok
11:38 AM me: RIGHT. WHAT EMERGES HERE IS ACTUALLY 100% CONSISTENT WITH THE CLOVE THAT I HAVE COME TO KNOW SO WELL. THESE ARE THE ANSWERS OF A MAN WITH A PROPENSITY TO LIE AND EVADE - TO ADPAT HIS BEHAVIOUR TO THE SHORT-TERM EXIGIENCIES OF THE SITUATION. AND THAT IS PROBABLY WHY THEY REFUSED THE TRANSACTIONS. NOW - WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TELL YOU HOW TO FIX THAT PROBLEM?
11:39 AM dickboi: Ok go ahead
I am listening Sir
11:41 AM me: GREAT. WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO CHOOSE A SINGLE CHARACTER TO PLAY - BUT IT HAS TO BE A GOOD, TRUSTWORTHY, MORALLY UPSTANDING PERSON. MAYBE THE PASTOR OF A CHURCH, OR A GRANDMOTHER WHOSE 10 GRANDCHILDREN HAVE JUST BEEN MASSACRED BY A RAMPAGING FUNDAMENTALIST.
HAVE YOU CHOSEN SOMEONE YET?
11:43 AM dickboi: Pastor will be fine
11:44 AM me: OK. NOW I WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS AGAIN - ONLY THIS TIME, ANSWER THEM AS A PASTOR WOULD. ADD A LITTLE BIT OF DETAIL WHICH CONVINCES THEM THAT YOU REALLY ARE A PASTOR. OK?
11:45 AM SO - "ARE HIGH OIL PRICES A GOOD THING?"
dickboi: OK
11:48 AM The world is becoming a very cruel place and high oil prices are as a result of bad governance. As a pastor, it is my responsibility to commit such adversity in my prayers so the good lord can intercede. Really high oil prices doesn't help any nation where her citizens per capital income level is low. Once again, I pray that the good lord can assuage for the much suffering such inevitable effects can cause to the citizenry
11:49 AM me: THAT IS QUITE BRILLIANT CLOVE! CAN YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCE ALREADY? WELL DONE YOU! OK - NOW HOW ABOUT "CAN A WORM EAT ITSELF?"
11:50 AM CLUE: MAYBE THE WORM IS A SYMBOL OF MAN'S ESSENTIAL CORRUPTION?
CORPORATE GREED...
11:51 AM dickboi: OK
THANKS FOR YOUR ENCOURAGEMENT
AND THANKS FOR YOUR COACHING
me: IT'S A PLEASURE!
11:52 AM dickboi: Now I am going to answer to the question
me: lower case though, please
dickboi: Yeah I understand the rule

6 minutes

11:59 AM dickboi: Warm are great anomalies that has eaten deep in the heart of man, especially if he isn't godly. The world is corrupt because we lack heavenly guidance or counselling. You see it is very possible for a warm to eat up itself because in this world a lot of us are controlled by devil. The bible says RESIST THE DEVIL AND HE SHALL FLEE. So if we can resist the devil and work in accordance with the divine laws of god we will be just fine. The issue of warm eating up itself is a typical example of inhumane characteristic in man such as selfishness, tyanny, corporate greed on the part of our leaders, inequality just name it. As long as we partner with God we wont experience any menace epitomy to warm eating up itself which are satanic influences
12:01 PM me: CLOVE THAT BROUGHT TEARS TO MY EYES... QUITE LOVELY! NOW HOW ABOUT "WHY DID THE ROMANS FAIL TO SUSTAIN THEIR EMPIRE?"
12:03 PM dickboi: ok I am getting to write shortly on that now
12:07 PM sorry I lost my connection for a moment
12:08 PM me: DO CARRY ON...

5 minutes

12:13 PM dickboi: Among the romans ever lived where the Jewish whose tradition are likes of Satan himself. How ever can there be peace or unity when there is no love? In short the problem of disunity which is a social vice is the major cause of romans not been able to have their empire. A lot of the roman leaders have corruption and deceit in their blood so that is another problem
12:14 PM This may not be a very good answer but I guess it is somehow ok
12:16 PM me: THAT WILL DO FINE CLOVE. I LIKE THE WAY YOU LINK IT TO JEWISH HISTORY TOO. OK - FINAL QUESTION (AND MAYBE THE TRICKIEST): "HOW ATTRACTIVE IS MICHELLE OBAMA?"

5 minutes

12:21 PM me: TOUGH ONE, ISN'T IT!
12:24 PM dickboi: Attractiveness is the solution to American wildest dream of a great nation and economy. What is more important is her heart and type of thinking- her plans as the first lady to support her husband the very first Black African President to revive or stimulate the US economy. The bible says the beauty of a woman lies in her heart. So definitely if Michelle has a pure heart fill of love and in the interest of the nation they are serving I do believe they can effect a positive change in the history of America. Physical attractions similar to paintings to a building. They all fade with time. But good characters or attitude never fail. As they say good name is better than Gold or Silver. Of course if there leadership roles impact positively the lives of the entire US citizenry their name will leave for eternity. Finally, I do believe as an upstanding Christian, not just as a pastor, that we need the pure attractions of the heart to work, not the physical attractions that are usually embellished by all form of human cruelties etc
NOT
Attracti:::::::: is NOT
read above
12:25 PM Attractiveness is NOT solution to
12:26 PM Emil is online
12:27 PM me: CLOVE THAT IS JUST SENSATIONAL! LISTEN - WE'VE GOT NO TIME TO WASTE. I WILL WRITE TO ROBBIE NOW, TELL HIM THAT YOU ARE NOW OFFICIALLY HIS BOSS, AND ORDER HIM TO SET UP A COMPLETELY NEW PSECURE PAYMENT FOR $10,000 THIS TIME. AFTER THAT, I LEAVE YOU TO MANAGE THE GUY. I WILL PROVIDE YOU WITH ALL THE ADMIN STUFF YOU NEED WHEN YOU GET BACK TO NIGERIA, AND MAKE SURE YOU GO TO SEE THE DRUNKARD MUGU IN BOUAKE - I WANT THAT MONEY AND THE PAINTING, AND I AM SURE YOU WILL HAVE A GREAT PARTY WITH HIM AND HIS WIVES. ALL TH BEST, AND WELL DONE YOU!! C
12:28 PM dickboi: please write Robert the email yourself
please
12:29 PM me: I WILL. RIGHT NOW.
dickboi: Thank you
12:30 PM Please I have one question
Does the payment system done online and not going to Western Union direct?
12:31 PM me: I HAVE NO IDEA. YOU WILL HAVE TO ARRANGE THAT WITH ROBBIE. BUT IF YOU ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS LIKE YOU JUST DID, YOU WILL HAVE NO PROBLEMS. JUST REMEMBER TO STAY IN CHARACTER AS A PASTOR. YOU DID BRILLIANTLY!
12:32 PM dickboi: Thank you Boss
I am impressed
I had really like to get Robbie online now
is that possible so I can discuss this with him after you must have written him
12:34 PM me: GIVE HIM AN HOUR OR TWO TO SET UP THE PAYMENT AND GET USED TO THE NEWS THAT HE HAS N NEW BOSS! ANYWAY, HE'S PROBABLY AT LUNCH NOW.
12:36 PM dickboi: Can I ask that you call him and inform him of this urgency Sir
In urgency you can call me ok
You have my Abidjan cell phone
12:40 PM me: HAVE SENT THE LETTER TO ROBBIE, CC YOU. GOOD LUCK! HOW WILL YOU SPEND YOUR AFTERNOON? MAYBE DO SOME SIGHTSEEING?
12:41 PM dickboi: Nope. I am going to return to the hotel room and sleep like a hopeless beggar
until I can actually get money to pay off this bills
12:42 PM and then arrange to travel to Bouake
ABidjan to Bouake is almost _ hours drive
12:43 PM 8 hours drive I mean
12:44 PM me: GOOD LUCK! C

BTW I will set up the S3cur3 Shi3ld bits above as a separate post so the SS community can bask in the glow of this legendary baiting tool!

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