Getting an oga on safari, and a ladette jailed

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Posted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 10:24 pm

When and if I get confirmation that there really is a lad moving within Benin to find the camp, Susan can indeed move on to another, more remote camp. Now that she has started an affair with a camp guide, she may choose to follow him when he goes to other camps to do his work.

But in the interim, it's now 11:30PM in Lagos and Lazy Lad has not responded to Susan's last rant. It's inconceivable to me that he would drop a prime maga just because she's being a real b*tch, but you never know with these guys. Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 5:57 am

I'm going to bed but Susan is just waking up in Benin. I still have hopes but my lad's silence today was not encouraging.

Quote:

I woke up early after a fabulous, utterly magical night with Peter. I was in a fantastic mood when I woke up but now that I've logged in to my email I'm getting pissed off all over again. Where are the answers, John? Why haven't you written? When exactly is the diplomat coming? When exactly are you coming? I'm not waiting forever. I'm getting sick of this.

Peter is leading an excursion today for camp guests, we're going to photograph animals in the wild. I'll be gone all day. I expect to hear from you when I return with FULL information on what's going on.

I'd actually be having a lot of fun here if I weren't so worried about you and your failure to follow through. I came a long way to finish this and I have no clue what in hell is going on. You'd better update me soon. I will not wait forever.

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 9:54 am

Maybe he needs some extra incentive? Stress the fact that you have about $40.000 in your cabin, there must be some reason to bring that up?
Anyhow, he needs to start coming your way about now, because else all his money is going to that other guy?

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 12:00 pm

Juan's indolent lad wrote:

...I am sorry for my inability to make the trip yesterday, surely it was because, I used all the money I had saved for myself to procure a bottle of polluted gin and a hooker with 8 teeth.

Fixed his typos.

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 3:19 pm

"Bernie" wrote:

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 3:20 pm

Well, my lad is definitely not on safari Evil or Very Mad

and although it appears he's really looking into how he could get to Benin he's unlikely to come up with the money. But at least his accomplice is wandering around trying in vain to find me, and that guy is not going to think kindly about my lad after a few days of such frustration.

Two emails in the box this morning, I'm glad he's working on Sunday:

Quote:

Dear Susan,
Good morning to you and how was your night?
I wonder what really you wan me to do when I have told you that, I am financially incapacitated right now to make long trips as this hence I used all what I saved with me to process and procure your payment approval documents which I had already scaned copies and sent to you and you never appreciated this effort. [I love the fact he keeps bringing up those documents, which I keep ignoring. Those must have cost him some money and it's really pissing him off that I'm not fawning over him in gratitude.]

I am making arrangements to raise money to come to the Camp, but got orried when I was called on phone by the Diplomat that, he has been in Benin, trying to trace the Camp but to no avail as no one was able to direct him further.
I contacted the Camp via Bernie one of the Managers and she has directed me better and I will simply relate to the Diplomat and give him the correct directions how to locate the Camp, as I have gotten the directions how to easily locat/trace the Camp and he will be with you before Noon today is the Camp shuttle will pick him up from the Le Majestic Hotel.
The Diplomat has been in Benin, trying to locate the Camp, but it has been very difficult as all efforts he made to get to you was in vein. No telephone, No good address and no way to reach you at the Camp.
He is still in Benin awaiting your phone call or for the Camp to give him a better address where to locate you or the Camp.
You can contact the Diplomat via his phone number: +22996xxxxx3, so that you will direct him better how to reach you at the Camp to make delivery of the Classified documents for you to endorse for the release of your funds.
His names are: DR. EDWARD ONANUGA, he has been in Benin since yesterday trying to locate you and the Camp.
After he has come and you endorse those documents, I will make my way there to be with you for a while.
Thanks for your co-operation.

Quote:

Dear Susan,
I have no money for my flight ticket even economy class. Flights from Nigeria to Niamey is once a day and very expenssive for me now. From Nigeria to Benin Republic also is something I do not have now except I am able to raise any money as I trying.
You knew quite well that I have already spent so much of my money to procure the Approval documents I already sent to you and the Payment Vouchers that the Diplomatic is coming with for your direct endorsement. Remember you were meant to come to Nigeria to do the endorsement yoourself.
I have informed you that the Diplomat has found it very difficult to trace the Camp and I am doing my best now to reach him now and give him the directives that the Camp Manager sent to me so that he could trace you. Hopefully before noon today, he will trace you.
If I get money soon, I will come otherwise, sign the documents first and surely I will be with you as soon as I get money.
Thanks for your understanding and co-operation.

So many ways I can go from here.... Very Happy

I think it's time for Uchenna to show up. But under a different name, with a different scam. Susan will soon have a new love interest....

EDIT: Doc, you were posting at the same time as me. Laughing

I love that detailed email, his accomplice has no excuse for not finding his way with that!

Let's drop any further reference to Uchenna. He's going to show up, but in disguise. Then he'll seduce Susan and then hook her with a gold dust or wash-wash scam, whichever wins a coin toss.

Posted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 3:22 pm

Well, I sent the lad instructions^^^^ With any luck his associate will end up at the Pendjari Hotel.

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:26 am

Susan just woke up, while her creator is about to go to bed. I wonder how long it will take for the lad to realize that "Williams Brown" is his arch-enemy Uchenna.

my character wrote:

I woke up early again but I feel so refreshed. This is the most wonderful place I have ever visited. I love it here, but I'm still angry that you abandoned me after promising to meet me at the airport.

I was sorry that Peter had to leave but last night at dinner I met a fantastic man from Nigeria who had just arrived on the shuttle from Parakou. His name is Williams Brown and he is absolutely fabulous. He's unbelievably handsome and incredibly charming. We had drinks in the bar after dinner and talked for a long time. He's in the gold business, selling gold dust. He was truly fascinating. I was intensely attracted to him and I secretly hoped he would come sleep with me last night but he was very tired after his trip. But he did promise to accompany me on today's excursion so I'm very much looking forward to the day.

But I'm also very disappointed that you didn't respond to my email yesterday afternoon. Where is the diplomat and when is he coming? I already told you I'm not going to sit around waiting, especially not with gorgeous men like Williams Brown wanting to spend time with me. So please let me know soon when to expect the diplomat so I can plan to be available.

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 3:03 pm

Hey Doc, any frantic emails to the camp email box today? It appears the diplomat is having a tough time finding the place. Very Happy

my lad wrote:

The Diplomat has searched for your Camp for two days now but could not trace it. Call him o the telephone number I gave to you or suite yourself on what you want.
Maybe you are there for fun alone and not for any business. I have no money for the trip and can not come there now. I havealready used up all my money to procure your Approval documents that you never acknowledged receipt. [He never stops whining about that.]
I wonder how such place will not have a phone number but have a satelight. So, make out a way and call the Diplomat on the telephone number I have already gven to you: +2299xxx63 otherwise, he will have his way back and whenever you want to get paid, you can come to Nigeria or forgo your inheritance fund or continue to make mistake and waste money in the hands of fraudsters.
Thanks and God bles you.

one hour later, my lad wrote:

If you know that this transaction is the reason why you have come to Africa, please go out now to wherever you took the shuttle to the camp and make a call across to the diplomat who has been stranded foryou sake on +2299xxxx63 for he is still hanging around waiting for you to direct him to where you are.

Alternatively go to Le Majestic Hotel in Parakou and put a call across to him directing him on how to meet with you.

And finally, an email direct from the Diplomat himself, from IP 81.91.228.78 (between Parakou and Djougou):

stranded diplomat wrote:

Dear Madam Susan,

This is Dr Edward Onanuga the C.B.N officer assigned over your pursuit with Mr John Abule.

I have transversed all nooks and cranny of the Northern part of Benin Republic including the Benin –Niger border areas in search of you these past two days to no avail and I had visited all known and Pendjari related parks/hotels and centres before I Finally got to the one in Nattitengou -Tanguietta whose roads my jeep could not further take given the fact that one of my tyres in the course of the sojourn got bursted and my exhaust pipe/pot along with some components of my car was not spared and the German man whom I told I can hire his car to travel down to the hotel which I was informed was 75KM said that his vehicles were all bad and that was after I had bought the tickets for three at the gate and I was tempted to force my car into the road down the hotel but, the road was terribly bad that my car packed up twice before crossing the first two bridges and we were only praying for how to get the car back to the gate and this was around 7:40pm so, that was how my journey to the hotel was halted and I had to return to look for a lodging which took me to a town called Djougou from where I am writing you now.

I had to ventilate my frustrations on Mr John Abule who was forced to give me your last exchanged correspondence whose contents I never fancied given the fact that my job is so precious to me because I do not see the reasons behind your lusts for total strangers as you exhibited in the said mail as it was first the camp guide and later to a supposed Nigerian crook who can afford to go to such an obscure place in this quota of the year-If you are here for business then please get down to it and if you are here for Fun it’s all your decision but, for me I have checked out of the hotel and will be here to await your call for direction on my newly acquired numbers thus:- 96 393 xxx as I have two hours to get your call and find my way to you or to head back to Nigeria but, please quit that animalistic passion and stay focused as I advise you to discontinue with that obsession and await our meeting as you shall meet most handsome and genuine Nigerians that might turn you to have a rethink in settling down in marriage with any.

Let me know the names of the hotel where you are and the park to verify if it is amongst the ones I visited or another location and possibly text it to my phone line if you can because there are always communication gadgets available for rent in any park even Turanya so, do get your hand on any and call me now before I embark on a return journey to Nigeria as my Mechanic shall be assigned to come and fix my car and bring it back ‘’cos it’s so bad now – all thanks to this journey.

I AM WAITING YOUR CALL NOW.

It's safe to assume that he is exaggerating the extent of his problems in getting to the camp, but it's also safe to assume he really has been trying. And I don't think he's very happy now.

: I'd love to hear what he's saying to my lad about this partnership. This may not help my lad's reputation in the community. Wink

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 6:51 pm

Congrats! Looks like you need another one of these: Safari

You definitely earned this one! happy crowd

No frantic emails. I can send him out one asking him WTF? if you would like.

Push him on, I say. I can let him know the shuttle has had a problem and we should have ot sorted tomorrow afternoon, and that if he catches a taxi, we will be happy to repay his expenses if he keeps the receipts. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 7:00 pm

So far this is a great tutorial in lad manipulation, Juan and Doc. I hope it's his actual oga who went on the journey and is royally pissed off. And you got a great lecture on curbing your animalistic passions! Razz

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 7:17 pm

I have to say, your poor lad there, Juan, with the burst tire and all the probems, and that he bought THREE tickets to the park, oh, that is beautiful, he sounds a tad... frustrated. Those tickets were something like USD20 a piece when I checked. Poor boi...

I do believe he has been all over northern Benin, too, spending cash as he goes. I love this!

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Great email of frustration from the diplomat. Laughing

Well done, Juan.

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 7:23 pm

The good Dr. wrote:

I do believe he has been all over northern Benin, too, spending cash as he goes.

He's a one-man Beninois economic stimulus package.

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 7:32 pm

^^^

Bohigal, you make me laugh!~

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 7:42 pm

@ Doc, sure, another "When are you arriving?" email might just help increase his (or their) blood pressure.

Whenever the diplomat does go back to where he came from I'll try to provoke him to send me an email so I can check his IP. This might qualify as a safari after all, even if it's my lad's partner rather than my original lad. And yes, the diplomat does sound just a little bit upset. I would love to have heard him "ventilate his frustrations" on my lad. Very Happy

I'm sure his frustrations will need even more ventilation when he reads the email I sent him, with copy to my lad:

to the diplomat, my character wrote:

I'm sorry I was not able to respond sooner but I was out all day on an excursion organized by the safari camp and just returned to my cabin suite.

I must tell you that I do NOT appreciate the patronizing tone of your email. While I am sorry that you have had some trouble finding this place, it is not my fault and the details do not concern me.

I am extremely angry that Mr. Abule shared my private email with you. I felt comfortable in revealing certain personal details to him because Mr. Abule and I have become quite friendly in the past couple of months. But I never expected my private information to be shared, and I do NOT appreciate your sexist and offensive comments about my "lusts" and "animalistic passion." That is not your business and you have no right to lecture me. I am an adult woman and I am free to do whatever I want with whomever I want. I can only assume that your comment about a "Nigerian crook" is in reference to Mr. Williams Brown, who arrived here late yesterday on the shuttle from Parakou. If so, that is absolutely slanderous and offensive. Mr. Brown is a wealthy businessman and a total gentleman. He is not a crook, and in any event my relationship with him is none of your concern.

And yes, I am most definitely here for business but I am not going to sit on my hands day after day waiting for you and Mr. Abule to start treating this as a proper business transaction. I told Mr. Abule that I am available to meet with either of you at any time, but I want some advance notice. I am not going to just wait forever. Mr. Abule had several weeks advance notice of my trip and had promised to meet me at the airport upon my arrival. I have now been here for three full days and you are only now coming to see me, and he has decided not to come at all. And you have the nerve to accuse ME of not treating this seriously? I expected this to be handled in a professional manner. I did not expect to be left literally holding the bag at the airport, waiting in vain for Mr. Abule to show up. Nor did I expect to be insulted by your honorable self because of your own inability to follow directions.

Please do not ask me how to get here. I have no idea. We are in a remote area and I simply took the safari camp's shuttle van from the Niamey airport. However Mr. Rhodes, the director here, has told me that he sent extremely detailed instructions on how to get here from any direction within the country. Please just refer back to that. Or, failing that, he said you can simply catch a shuttle which leaves Parakou every afternoon. Mr. Rhodes can give you the time and place from which it departs. That is probably the simplest method as it spares you having to drive on rough roads. Mr. Brown told me that the ride from Parakou took only a few hours and was very pleasant.

And please be advised that this is a safari camp, not a luxury hotel. There are certain amenities but telephones are not one of them. We are in a national park. I cannot simply step out the door and walk down the street to find a public telephone.

I am ready to meet you at any time during the rest of my stay here (I depart on the 23rd). Just tell me what time you will be here and I will make myself available without fail. But I am not sitting around and waiting in the interim. I've already been here for 3 days, this business was supposed to have all been completed by now.

Then I wrote to my lad. He's going to be sick watching his prime maga getting snared by a rival:

my character wrote:

I got an email from the diplomat and just replied to him, with copy to you. As you can see I do not appreciate his attitude, nor his incompetence. Mr. Rhodes said he sent you very detailed directions on how to get to the camp from anywhere in Benin. Didn't you give that information to the diplomat? Why is you asking me for directions, I have no idea how to get here. I simply took the shuttle.

You realize I have now been here for 3 full days. I can't believe nothing is happening. I gave you plenty of advance notice for my trip.

I am going to take a long bubble bath and relax for a while after a strenuous but exciting day in the Pendjari National park. Mr. Brown accompanied me and was a very gracious companion for the day. He taught me a lot about gold and the gold business. It seems that the gold market does very well in bad economic times. With the recent stock market collapse gold becomes a very good investment. I am looking forward to talking with him about that in more detail over dinner tonight. I have been trying to decide how best to invest the money I just got last week from the sale of my Florida property to Ramada. I think gold may be a wise choice.

In any event, after dinner I fully expect to be spending the night with Mr. Brown. I seriously doubt he will rebuff my advances after the enjoyable time we shared today. Wink

So I may not have a chance to check my email until morning.

(Please do NOT share that private information with the condescending diplomat. )

Enjoy your evening.

And to rub salt in the wound, Uchenna (aka Williams Brown) wrote to my main lad:

my fake lad wrote:

HEY SMALLBOI U R DI LOSER OKAY .DIS JOB BI MINE AN ITS A GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD ONE !!!!!!!!!! I TAKE BIG MONEY AN HAV A GOOD TIME 2 .DIS MAGA NA SEXY LADY WHO LIKE REAL MAN CAN **** HER TIL SHE SCREAM .

U ARE NOTING BUT EMPTY BALLON,IDIOT OF U BECAUSE I AM ALREADY A BIGGER BOY OK

GO AND HUZZLE LIKE STREET BOYS OF UR TYPE ,I AM DI ONE GOD HAS BLESS IN THIS JOB OK.

BYE.

I figure the fact that Uchenna/Brown had no problem getting to the camp should deepen the rift between the two lads. If he could get there, why can't the diplomat?

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 8:04 pm

Bernie wrote:

Dear Mister Abule,

We are still waiting for you. You missed the scheduled shuttle today.

Please email me with an update on your arrival so that we can prepare for you.

It would seem that Miss has made a friend while she waits for you. He
arrived and claimed Mister Uchennas suite.

Best regards,

Bernie

Posted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 8:29 pm

Quote:

He arrived and claimed Mister Uchennas suite.

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 2:46 am

I love this hobby...

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Nice one, DSW. Laughing

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 4:10 am

Thank you, Ima. I truly love this. I love doing to them what they do to victims, and they are wandering, miserable, spending money looking, fruitlessly, for the big pay out, which remains, elusively behind the next hurdle, and..... it will never happen.

The universe, itself, is at peace, reality is balanced, justice is alive, breathing, evolving, while these idiots run around, chasing a delusion of our making.

Juan, nice work here.

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:27 am

Thanks Doc. You nailed it, it's great to turn the karmic tables.

I think my lad is so upset now he's about ready to throw in the towel and abandon an incredibly ripe maga. He is so stupid.....

my lad wrote:

Dear Susan,
You are free to do anything you like.

Here is an email I received from one of your people again:
<snip full copy of email I sent him from my fake lad>

So why not dump yet more salt in that gaping wound? Susan just woke up and wrote him:

my character wrote:

I know I am free to do what I like. That is what I was trying to get across to the diplomat, who was chastising me for my "lust." That's none of his business. I'm glad at least you understand.

What do you mean by "received from one of your people." I have no idea who that is from nor what it's about. It's a lot of childish, offensive gibberish that has nothing to do with me and was written by someone I've never heard of. So why on earth are you sending me vulgar garbage like that? Are you drunk? What would prompt you to forward such junk? I'm not interested in your personal problems with nasty people who are out to insult you. It doesn't concern me.

I have not heard back from the diplomat. I've decided I will stay here in the camp today rather than to go on another excursion. I'm tired anyway after a very intense but very wonderful night with Williams Brown. I think I'll nap a bit this afternoon. But the point is that if the diplomat will simply get off his lazy butt and come here today, I am available all day. I will leave word at the office that they can wake me up if I am taking a nap. So I don't want to hear any more whining about my taking this seriously, okay? I'm ready and available at any moment. Let's just get this concluded so I can move on with my life.

By the way, since you decided you aren't coming to see me I went ahead and gave the laptop I brought for you to Williams. He was very appreciative.

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 12:47 pm

I love that last but about giving the laptop to Williams, hahaha, twisting the knife a bit, with some rubbing alcohol.

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 2:34 pm

I love it! clapping

Posted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 3:25 pm

It's funny how the Simba safaris so often seem to include women in the throes of animalistic passions, laptops, and dolla choppas making their own safari. This is not meant at all to take away from the hilarity and ingenuity of this bait! It is more likely a testament to the basic greedy needs of lads. Very Happy

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