Author |
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru
Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.
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Posted:
Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:51 am |
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Well, Gaz, this dead bait sure resurrected your baiting!
"Dear lad, you don't know me and this email may come as a surprise to you, but..." |
_________________ x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
x10 X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, D@rlington, Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
(19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Z@ke & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
x3 H3ctor & C@leb - Yankar1 & Parakou
x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
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spot
Moderator
Joined: 25 Aug 2005
Posts: 9149
Location: Criminal Disruption Department.
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Posted:
Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:55 pm |
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Thanks for the laugh Gaz
I just read it at a timely moment because I was just about to write to my own Barrister about something else, so I took the liberty of using your script and tweaking it to suit my situation.
My barrister replies :-
Spot's Barrister wrote: |
HELLO IT IS A PITY FOR WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU OVER THERE,?I WAS NOT HAPPY BUT LET TOLD YOU SOMETHING RIGHT NOW I WANT TO SEND A MEMO LETTER TO LOCAL COUNCIL IN YOUR AREA ON YOUR BEHALF BCOS YOU DONT NOW ANY THING ABOUT THE DEAD OF THE PERSON ,DONT WORRY KEEP YOUR MIND AS REST I M WORKING FOR YOU NOW, |
So he wants to write to the Local Council on my behalf does he ? What's the betting I need to pay a fee first ! |
_________________ x32
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mewing_ghecko
lad harasser
Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 1564
Location: I was born and raised in... oh look something shiny
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Posted:
Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:21 pm |
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nice one spot, if you need a 'local council' let me know, i work closely with government so i am familiar with their ways of slowing things..
I think the 'dead people in your house' idea is the new baiting trend for 2009? |
_________________ "nice try you want to spam my box asshole"
"fuck u and that of your company".
"ASSHOLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"FUCK YOU".
"I know person like you fucking scammer".
"FUCK YOU ASHOLE".
"fuck off" Mr Fr@nk Ch@ka
"You are nothing but a crook and a liar,how could you send a fake transfer receipt to me and think that you can fool me".
M00seknuckle co-bait Mrs ldris, Abidjan to Cotonou P3ter x2, Nigeria to Cotonou, Warri to Abuja
x? (only Alan knows)
<a href="/forum/donate.php">[FREE PORN]</a> |
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spot
Moderator
Joined: 25 Aug 2005
Posts: 9149
Location: Criminal Disruption Department.
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Posted:
Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:31 pm |
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Thanks for the offer ghecko but I have already replied giving him the address of Super Sexy Secretary Tracey, who used to work at Bristol Zoo but has now got a job attachment at the Local Council ...... she's useless at her job but very good looking |
_________________ x32
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Gaz
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 661
Location: Toronto, ON
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Posted:
Wed Jan 14, 2009 4:49 pm |
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Quote: |
she's useless at her job.. |
As are the the people at the funeral directors, the western union office, my email provider, my electric company, my phone company my postman, my bank, and the local police. In fact, anyone who I rely on to make this deal run smoothly is surprisingly corrupt and incompitent!
Honestly, you'd think that someone was trying to make sure that barrister Williams never seen a penny of the money Im due to pay him |
_________________ YOU SENT NO PAYMENT YOU IDIOT AND MURDDERER!!!!!! - Kenneth Duke
"Also believe in the Nectarines and hail them as my eternal forefathers and universal leaders"- Sir Frederick MacGregor
"THIS NONSENSE ACT OF YOURS HAS CAUSED ME LOOSING UP TO $350 USD ALL TOGETHER TO GET TO KASTINA SINCE ON MONDAY!!"- Barrister Usman Bello
"WHAT HELL ARE YOU ? YOU ARE A MAD MAN, YOU NEED TO BE CURED BY YOUR OCCULTIC MEMBERS, I CAN SEE THAT THEY HAVE TAKEN YOUR BRAIN" - Barrister Harry Brown
"YOU ARE GOING STUPID , ARE YOU OUT OF YOU MIND ? YOU FOOLISH WHITE MONKEY AND YELLOW PIG."- Barrister Isa Usman
www.mustdestroy419.talkspot.com
- 600 Miles from Lagos to Katsina
x12 |
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spot
Moderator
Joined: 25 Aug 2005
Posts: 9149
Location: Criminal Disruption Department.
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Posted:
Wed Jan 14, 2009 8:29 pm |
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My Barrister is on the ball, he has already written to the Local Council on behalf of me.
Spot's Barrister wrote: |
Hugh Maldonado
4543 South Rockwell Street
chicago, IL 60632
The Service Department
Local Council,Office
- Re-Lindsy Case Order From Chamber,
compliment of the season to you over there, i Barrister Hugh,Hereby affirm that my client MR lindsy doest not know any thing concerning the dead man met at his HOUSE it was coincidence that my client enter house and met the man laying on ground of his house with coffin i here by tender my appeal on his behalf to stop the case for me. after my invesgation i will get back to you.
Barrister Hugh |
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_________________ x32
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mewing_ghecko
lad harasser
Joined: 28 Mar 2008
Posts: 1564
Location: I was born and raised in... oh look something shiny
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Posted:
Wed Jan 14, 2009 8:33 pm |
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^^ Spot, you got that for free, no charge? who ever said lads are lazy? he's a keeper. |
_________________ "nice try you want to spam my box asshole"
"fuck u and that of your company".
"ASSHOLE !!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"FUCK YOU".
"I know person like you fucking scammer".
"FUCK YOU ASHOLE".
"fuck off" Mr Fr@nk Ch@ka
"You are nothing but a crook and a liar,how could you send a fake transfer receipt to me and think that you can fool me".
M00seknuckle co-bait Mrs ldris, Abidjan to Cotonou P3ter x2, Nigeria to Cotonou, Warri to Abuja
x? (only Alan knows)
<a href="/forum/donate.php">[FREE PORN]</a> |
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Catcher In The Lie
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 22 Sep 2008
Posts: 877
Location: 404 Yellow Brick Road
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Posted:
Wed Jan 14, 2009 11:36 pm |
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Quote: |
I would not say that you should let this keep you off the job in hand of claiming the beneficiary amount of $22.8 USD |
Possible stall tactic:
Turns out the death was ruled a homicide and you're under investigation for murder. Possession is 9/10ths of the law, the corpse is in your house, so you're guilty by association and now in jail. To get out, you just need two things: Bail money (you'll just have to use the WU money) and at least one 'person' vouching for your character.
None of your friends are forthcoming as they're all suspicious now. You'd be most appreciative if the lad would be kind enough to write a nice character reference to help obtain your release. (He needs you out....you can't send WU funds from jail.) |
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Gaz
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 661
Location: Toronto, ON
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Posted:
Thu Jan 15, 2009 5:09 pm |
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Oh-oh! It appears things have taken a turn for the worse!
Quote: |
Dear Mr Williams,
Good afternoon to you. This whole kerfuffle with the dead fellow is becoming very frustrating indeed. I recieved the application for the exhumation permit and filled it in, but didnt realise I'd missed the last post of the week to the mainland. I drove down to the post office as quickly as I could, but things kept delaying my journey. First of all, some old man on a bike pulled out in front of me and I hit him with my car. Im sure he was ok though, as I seen him moving as I was driving away.
Then all those other things...traffic jams, roadworks, and I tell you Mr Williams, those so called "speed bumps" do nothing to help your journey, if anything they actually slow you down!
So, it looks like I wont be able to post the permit until Monday. Then, to make matters worse, I get home to find that I accidently left the heating on and that the dead fellow in my living roomis starting to decompose! Honestly Mr Williams, the smell around the coffin is really quite foul, and the lid is jammed open so I cant even close it over to hide his ghastly pale face, and his mouth fell open and because rigor mortis has set in I cant get it closed again, which is attracting flies! I think I got rid of most of them, but God forbid that they may have laid eggs inside his mouth! If theres one thing thats worse than a decomposing corpse in your living room for 6 weeks, its a decomposing corpse with a headfull of maggots!
So, needless to say, Mr Williams, I have been very busy and as of yet have not managed to get to the Western Union office. Im so very, very sorry but I promise that if no other unfortunate events take place (Edit: something tells me we wont be that lucky), I will get there and pay the money tomorrow. I think that the promise of $22.8m is the only thing thats keeping me going over this last few days!
Now, how will I get the money? Oh, and do you know any good brands of air freshener?
Regards,
Peter Andre
Honorary Grand Fellow of the C.L.I.T Programme
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Lucky Ive got my barrister/corpse handling expert to hand, eh?
Quote: |
Attn: PETER ANDRE
This whole situation with the dead man is very unfortunate and unbearable. have you contacted the police to tell them of this? You cannot keep the flesh of the dead in your house for weeks it
is disgusting and inhuman and you will be overrud with bugs in no time. You should wrap the head of the man in a garbage bag to stop the stench and the transfer of bugs.
The $22.8m USD will be wired into your account as soon as you have paid the fees for the lawyers office and should take no longer than 7 days then I sahll come over
to your country in order to continue my investment in your cities expeorts of SHEEP AND ROCKS (edit...well, he did ask what my locations main exports were lol)
Try and get to the WESTERN UNION office as possible in order to ensure the efficiency of our business.
Barrister Fr. Williams |
This is getting a bit gruesome now |
_________________ YOU SENT NO PAYMENT YOU IDIOT AND MURDDERER!!!!!! - Kenneth Duke
"Also believe in the Nectarines and hail them as my eternal forefathers and universal leaders"- Sir Frederick MacGregor
"THIS NONSENSE ACT OF YOURS HAS CAUSED ME LOOSING UP TO $350 USD ALL TOGETHER TO GET TO KASTINA SINCE ON MONDAY!!"- Barrister Usman Bello
"WHAT HELL ARE YOU ? YOU ARE A MAD MAN, YOU NEED TO BE CURED BY YOUR OCCULTIC MEMBERS, I CAN SEE THAT THEY HAVE TAKEN YOUR BRAIN" - Barrister Harry Brown
"YOU ARE GOING STUPID , ARE YOU OUT OF YOU MIND ? YOU FOOLISH WHITE MONKEY AND YELLOW PIG."- Barrister Isa Usman
www.mustdestroy419.talkspot.com
- 600 Miles from Lagos to Katsina
x12
Last edited by Gaz on Thu Jan 15, 2009 5:18 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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TheBarSteward2
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 04 Jun 2008
Posts: 74
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Posted:
Thu Jan 15, 2009 5:18 pm |
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While you are at it, shouldn't the local council ask for a copy of proof that he is a barrister, and as he is in a different country get him to fill in the 'Certificate of Incompetence to Practice Law in a Local Authority' form? Back to first principles, keep him busy and all that.
If you are short of money to pay his (expected) demurrage fees, perhaps he might have some ideas on how to make some money out of the corpse? Maybe even an example advert or two? |
_________________ I'm not a newbie! Long time straight-baiter, I just don't come here that often, and usually forget my account details when I do. |
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Cathartic Kate
Elite Baiter
Joined: 03 Dec 2008
Posts: 1542
Location: Spooner Hall
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Posted:
Thu Jan 15, 2009 7:07 pm |
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Congrats of thinking up the stiff modality.
Three of my characters are delaying at the payment stage and when all else possible has gone wrong an appearance of a corpse in the yard will drag it out for another week or two at least. Police investigation, C.S.I., coroner's hearing, funeral, bereaved relatives and reporters to deal with.
Another reason to pop in daily and read the threads.
I reckon the mods should award a tombstone for funniest thread and brilliant idea.
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_________________ Give the lads some extra pain with your own IT admin from hell - visit toolkits for Grooble Gambit
Proud member of "The Todger Club"
< никогда достаточно
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Nanny Ogg
Baiting Guru
Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 2628
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Posted:
Thu Jan 15, 2009 7:46 pm |
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I hope the poor guy you hit doesn't trace you, stagger into your house to have a word about the damage to his bike and collapse dead on seeing the coffin/corpse! |
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blah
Who's Your Daddy?
Joined: 03 Dec 2008
Posts: 1775
Location: Speckled Cct Springfield Lakes QLD 4300
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Posted:
Thu Jan 15, 2009 7:58 pm |
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This whole "dead guy in my living room" modality is destined for greatness.
I laugh every time I think about it. |
_________________ x12
With all due respect. you nothing but a cheap scum.idoit and heartless man!! - Turkey Smith
please daddy don't lunch your powers on Mr.alex! - my "son".
M7CN Mangler - 1998 clicks. This process is absolutely embarassing. - Sgt. Jones
M7CN Mangler+SecSh1eld+Allst@r= How dear you make me go thru such stress.. - Fr@nk West
<a href="/forum/donate.php">[Click here for dirty nasty pr0n!!1]</a>
x6
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sir scam alot
Baiting Guru
Joined: 19 Mar 2008
Posts: 5076
Location: Louisiana
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Posted:
Thu Jan 15, 2009 8:03 pm |
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"Bring out your dead!"
I see a custom tag coming. |
_________________ = Rev. JB Johnson. Lome to Parakou "i thought it will just be a day jouney. unknowingly to me that it will last up to one week."
2 = Harrison: Owerri, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin and Accra, Ghana "i know ive been a sucker for twat "
= (Group safari) Oy3nka Ch1dinma: Lagos to Cotonou: "Thank you so much for the embrassment."
= Group safari - Dan Nkwerre: Port Harcourt to Abeche, Chad
2 = Barr. Mustapha Marlick: Lome, Togo to Abuja Nigeria and Accra, Ghana.
x15 (some survived) x280
<b>Have you kicked your lad today?<b>
Over $1 million USD in fake checks/money orders confiscated |
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Ukulele Ungabunga
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 26 Dec 2008
Posts: 15
Location: CO
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Posted:
Thu Jan 15, 2009 11:40 pm |
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My 'character' that communicates with scammers via the astral bridge from the Third Astral Plane of Marduk (and the Timestream Lab), would most definitely give thumbs down to the "air and bug spray" answer.
Except that the thumbs fall off when turned down. Dadgummed decay
The answer to the question of how to care for a corpse: dry ice. That's what they're doing with the celebrated stiff in Nederland, CO. Lots dry ice. No need for air or bug spray that way
I scared the bejesus outta one Nigerian 419er when he started to think he was communicatin' widda stiff... what fun, what fun... |
_________________ I am me and I approve of massage. Me is many, any, all or possibly none of the above. |
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Scarlett
419Eater is my life
Joined: 20 Jul 2008
Posts: 499
Location: Run Away Lad Bride
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Posted:
Fri Jan 16, 2009 6:47 am |
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This is hilarious!! I'm laughing so hard I almost choked on my coffee. |
_________________ '' - MY HEART IS SO DISTURB I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO OR THINK OF RIGHT NOW
Abuja to Cameroon
i was like a mad man this afternoon i was there but i didn't see you pls
AM STILL AT THE AIRPORT WAITING AND DYING
OOOOOO.... A1ex (thanks to Red & 5imba for 5SC)
Abuja to Bauchi -am just like a notives down here walking up and down from one street to another…A1ex (thanks to 5imba & Red for their help)
Ogun Sagamu to Abuja -A1ex
(Group Effort) 0 Ch1d1nma: Lagos to Cotonou - "u told me not to bring money down which i didnt"
Joint safari with OxygenDeprived
Click here to support 419Eater.com
x2 |
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GomerPyle
Baiting Guru
Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 8875
Location: Wherever I lay my hat
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Posted:
Fri Jan 16, 2009 8:50 am |
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His 'put the head in a garbage bag' tip is very helpful.
You don't think he has personal experience of what to do - do you ?
It reminds me of a classic film for those with a strong stomach - 'Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia'. |
_________________ Fake sites killed 1 x 9 x 3 x 168 X
- the 'Asparagus Kid' - Accra to Lome - You Must surly Die in The Name Of Jesus Christ
- Steve - Lagos to Accra
- Frank - Lagos to Cotonou - co-bait with the vampire
- Shorty - Lagos to Cotonou - My Agro Base farming where i rearing chicken and other animals was set ablazed overnight and we do not know who is actual behinde all these evils! -
I and my crew was locked up for 3 good days….They wanted to charge us to court but later we are fined an huge amount of money…I asked them why did they arrest the men, they started laughing and saying all sorts mockering words! -
…because now, am left with nothing and remember i told you my Guy (Joe) gave up earlier this morning |
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Gaz
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 17 May 2005
Posts: 661
Location: Toronto, ON
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Posted:
Fri Jan 16, 2009 11:13 am |
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My next course of action is to accidently knock the coffin over while hoovering up the maggots that are now on the floor. Obviously, seeing that he's starting to decompose more, some body parts may now be a bit more...loose
It must be annoying my lad a bit by now, but as the funeral director said, there are rules to be adhered to, and who am I to stand in the way of bearuacracy? |
_________________ YOU SENT NO PAYMENT YOU IDIOT AND MURDDERER!!!!!! - Kenneth Duke
"Also believe in the Nectarines and hail them as my eternal forefathers and universal leaders"- Sir Frederick MacGregor
"THIS NONSENSE ACT OF YOURS HAS CAUSED ME LOOSING UP TO $350 USD ALL TOGETHER TO GET TO KASTINA SINCE ON MONDAY!!"- Barrister Usman Bello
"WHAT HELL ARE YOU ? YOU ARE A MAD MAN, YOU NEED TO BE CURED BY YOUR OCCULTIC MEMBERS, I CAN SEE THAT THEY HAVE TAKEN YOUR BRAIN" - Barrister Harry Brown
"YOU ARE GOING STUPID , ARE YOU OUT OF YOU MIND ? YOU FOOLISH WHITE MONKEY AND YELLOW PIG."- Barrister Isa Usman
www.mustdestroy419.talkspot.com
- 600 Miles from Lagos to Katsina
x12 |
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Jockel
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 24 Jan 2009
Posts: 1
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Posted:
Sat Jan 24, 2009 3:41 pm |
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Hello,
This is my first time posting and I'm intrigued by the by this due to a recent discovery of mine. I would like to know how Hugh Maldonado got into this? Ive recently come to hear of the name and address posted on this posting and would like to know his part in all of this.
Thank you. |
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Worf
Elite Baiter
Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 1690
Location: Florida - it's hot down here
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Posted:
Sat Jan 24, 2009 10:17 pm |
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Too bad you can't move the corpse. Then you could take him to the local butcher shop like Ben did with Locke on LOST. |
_________________ "Honey there no way to go out side camp without peppers and passport." - M1racle Y0rm1e
"Either you are lying or you are not telling the truth here, buddy." - H4rrison Ford (the lad, not the actor of course)
"you are an embodiment of permanent failure, an epitome of misfortune of life . . . a disgrace to your generation" - Lambert Lee
= Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to Ziguinchor
= Rev. Michael Jeans - Dakar to St. Louis, Senegal (co-bait with OxygenDeprived)
= Mattar - Abidjan, Ivory Coast to Accra, Ghana
= Stanley, co-bait with VDJ, Gadget and Jayhawk - Aba to Benin City
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru
Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.
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Posted:
Sat Jan 24, 2009 11:38 pm |
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When things get loose, as you say, Gaz, I have a picture in my mind of the hand crawling itself across the floor like in "Evil Dead II." It moves across the room and goes into a hole in the wall, after trying to choke the life out of you. |
_________________ x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
x10 X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, D@rlington, Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
(19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Z@ke & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
x3 H3ctor & C@leb - Yankar1 & Parakou
x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
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A SKYHOOK
419Eater is my life
Joined: 20 Sep 2008
Posts: 405
Location: the land of oz
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Posted:
Sun Jan 25, 2009 3:11 am |
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im shaking my head
keep an eye out the window in case a goat turns up on the full moon
Just a thought if one does turn up he may get rid of the corpse for you as they will eat any thing |
_________________ before i can walk i must crawl and a skyhook will help lift me up were i want to be . i no iv got one in the shed some were hang on ill be back as soon as i find it
We are expecting you to feed us with the necessary payment details This is prof.Sloudo the excutive Governor Of Central Bank Of Nigeria.
Last edited SUN/8/2010 by one of the skyhooks The pointed eared fairy, aka "Yasterb" is much nicer looking now since the operation thats her in her new avatar the one on the left with the wax "dummy" of the old elfie
Last edited by A SKYHOOK on Sun Jan 25, 2009 3:32 am; edited 1 time in total |
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru
Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.
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Posted:
Sun Jan 25, 2009 3:17 am |
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You look all over for that dang crawling hand, but are unable to find it until the next day, when it pops out of your soup bowl! Just like the clam in the soup in The Three Stooges episode. |
_________________ x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
x10 X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, D@rlington, Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
(19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Z@ke & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
x3 H3ctor & C@leb - Yankar1 & Parakou
x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
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Ophelia Dikki
Master of Master Baiters
Joined: 03 Apr 2007
Posts: 740
Location: somewhere over the rainbow
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Posted:
Sun Jan 25, 2009 8:44 am |
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Brilliant !!
Seeing as your lad is so knowledgeable about the care for the dead, can't you ask him to take the corpse off your hands? I'm sure it's getting really creepy around your place now, and you just can't wait a minute longer for the council to get their act together. I know that you will be able to make it worth his while....... :lol
You can't eat, sleep, think (or go to the WU Office)while this is going on, and will not be able to anything until the situation is resolved |
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spot
Moderator
Joined: 25 Aug 2005
Posts: 9149
Location: Criminal Disruption Department.
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Posted:
Sun Jan 25, 2009 11:53 am |
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Jockel wrote: |
I would like to know how Hugh Maldonado got into this?
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Hugh Maldonado is the name of a fictitious barrister made up by many scammers.
His name is often used in craigslist (fake cheque) scams as the person to send money to.
send me a Personal Message if you have had any dealings with him in "real life" and are concerned in anyway.
sorry for the thread jack / |
_________________ x32
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