How hard (edited) can you slap a lad?

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Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 3:50 am

(edited to try and fix my boo boos)

I have been straight baiting an inheritance lad for a week now. No long term baiting yet. I immediately got confused and kept screwing up the emails between him and his lawyer. Finally the lad dropped out of the picture and has only left his barrister for me to deal with.

I am new to the internet so confuse very easily and get ruffled just as easily.

Quote:

Barrister J3rry M4duka to me
show details Nov 5 (4 days ago) Reply

Dear.Mrs. Marilyn Martin.

In receipt of your email, I am writing to let you know that of a truth I am the Personnal Attorney to late Engr. Newton Martin .But I do not know who you are and before his death, he never told me of you, since you have explain your self to me, I shall first of all make verificate with the Citizens Bank if your claim is genuine and if they clarify you, I will then stand for you.

Please do bear with me as I have to be sure of your claims, Please I want you to forward to me any prove you received an email from the bank, But I still need to make verification. Meanwhile, I shall go to the Bank today to crosscheck if what you are saying is truth or not. Please do bear with me. I shall get back to you with words by today.

Thank You.
Barrister Jerry Maduka.

My response to him after a couple more commuications (too boring to post all)

Quote:

Dear. Mrs. Marilyn Martin.

How are you doing? In respect to my previous email to you, I shall be going to the Citizens Bank tommorrow, to submit the two documents with me which is the DEATH CERTIFICATES AND THE POLICE REPORT.

So what will be remainning is the LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION AND AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM, that is the primary reason I want you to send the REGISTRATION fee so that I can use it and join with the little money I have here with me to sponsor my trip tp abuja the Federal Capital of Nigeria,where I can purchase the remainning two documents. I am doing all this great help because your late cousin was a good friend and I sworn after his death to help any of his relative that comes forward to claim his funds and properties.

WITH THIS I AM ATTACHING THE DEATH CERTIFICATE AND THE POLICE REPORT FOR YOUR PERUSAL.

I anticipate to hear from you as soon as you send the $3000 for your registration fee so that I can begin work in procuring the remainning two documents.
NT. SINCE YOU HAVE EXPLAINED TO ME CONCERNING YOUR DRIVING LICENCE AND PASSPORT, NO PROBLEM. I AWAIT THE PAYMENT INFORMATION OF THE $3000 SO THAT I CAN COMMENCE MY TRIP.

Thank You.
Barrister Jerry Maduka.

He asked me to send the WU in two payments which I enquired about earlier. (Stay tuned it gets more interesteing I promise!)

OK long story short. I don't know what western onion is. I have never heard of it. it is not something we have on the Island. I make him explain it to me.

I finally make it to a money gram but didn't realize I needed a reciept. My son threw it out at McDonalds with his left over lunch.
(This is where I made a goof up)

Quote:

Dear.Mrs.Marilyn Martin.

Good Day To You.

I got your email, the problem here is that I did not get the payment information which you sent, you said you sent it via money gram, Now I want you to write out the REFRENCE NUMBER, ITS A 8 DIGIT NUMBER, WRITE IT OUT AND SEND TO ME IN AN EMAIL, As soon as I get it, I shall Instruct my REVENUE COLLECTOR to pick it so that I can commence my trip.

Although I got a post kind of email, which I downloaded, but it was not shown, I want you to send me just the REFERENCE NUMBER.

I AWAIT YOUR RESPONSE.

Thank You
Barrister Jerry Maduka.

Reply Forward

Marilyn Martin to barrister_jerr.
show details Nov 7 (2 days ago) Reply

I just searched all over for it including my car. I think my son through it out when he tossed his McDonalds wrappers in the garbage yesterday. You don't need it do you?

Marilyn

Now it gets a little more interesting......

Quote:

Dear.Mrs.Marilyn Martin. YOU ACT UNSERIOUSE.
InboxX

Dear.Mrs.Marilyn Martin,

To tell you the truth, you act strange, if you do not want me to follow up your transaction, I will just forget about it and face other things, first of all, you told me you don"t have a driving , which I believed , because our kind of work is to build trust on our client, now you are telling me that you searched for the receipt in your car, if you have a car, why didn't you have a driving licence, well this is settled, as I do not get my self borderred about the driving licence.

Now you have sent the funds to get the remainning documents, the bank is waiting on, but to get the REFERENCE NUMBER, as now been a problem, all I expected of you is to call or go to the MONEY GRAM OFFICE and ask for them to give you the REFERENCE NUMBER as they have a copy of it with them, their is no need to go and collect your money because is still there, all you need to do is ask for them to give you the REFERENCE NUMBER AGAIN, but if you do not want me to continue this case, then I will forget about it.

Thank You.
Barrister Jerry Maduka.

My Response I totally flubbed this!

Quote:

No I don't drive, but I have to get around some how!! How stupid for you to think I walk everywhere!!! I had to go 75kms to the Money gram office. Did you think I flew there?? Of course I got a drive! I asked my neighbor to drive me there! She drove my son and I and then I bought her lunch at McDonalds for doing me such a big favor!

If you are that suspicious, I think I will go and get the money returned and keep it and forget this whole mess! I don't like dealing with people with trust issues!

If you were standing in front of me I would slap you face for being so stupid and mean!

Marilyn

Quote:

Dear.Mrs.Marilyn Martin.

I got your email and you made me laugh, I guess you have slapped a lawyer before, if you slap me, I will jail you, WELL JUST JOKING, I guess I triggered your anger, by my ealier speech, I AM VERY SORRY, I was so stressed up in the court today, I only want to buy trust between you and I so that when your funds is finally released to you I can be of hopeful of getting my own share, well do not be angry with me, I guess I was stress up today.

I only want the best for you and I, because your late cousin worked hard for this funds and it will be bad if the government confiscate it, you coming arround his is dream come true. So be not be mad with me, well the bank is waiting, so just go back to the MONEY GRAM and ask them for the refrence number. I am really tired and will go to bed now, before I attack someone too with my anger, you know our nature of job, always fierce

Thank You
Barrister Jerry Maduka.

Lawyer my ass!

My next response

Quote:

My Dear Marilyn Martin.

How are you today, hope fine? I do not see where I went wrong with you, okay fine, I sensed you were angry with me and I pleaded I was sorry, I mean good to you and your family and for the fact that I made a vow to your late cousin, that is the primary reasons I am working very hard to help you, you should also understand my plight here, you listen to your friend and you assumed I am also a SCAM ARTIST, My dear, it really hurt me to hear that because I know how hard I have been working hard to hunt bad boys that have been spoiling my country name, please mjust calm down because we do not know where the future is taking you and I to apart from me working for you as your attorney.

My dear client Marilyn Martin, you saw my IDENTITY AND BAR CARD, WHICH I DID SEND TO YOU and also the two documents, atleast is okay to make you believe I am real and want the best for you and I am not after you $3000, but I am after your dream coming to pass because I know that when your funds is out I stand a chance of being blessed by your from that funds as $30,000000 is not a small money. Please try and understand me dear, I am here for you and will go extra miles to make sure we win this case, just trust me please. I want you to know that I am putting aside my EGO to work with you, and I promised you that we will win this case. Just try and go back and get it sent again via MONEY GRAM.

Thank You
Barrister Jerry Maduka

Quote:

Jerry, I am willing to accept your apology however, you need to listen to me carefully! My neighbor is upset with me for dragging her all the way back to Money Gram and will not drive me there a third time. Until I get my own inheritance I am stuck relying on her and I need her to help me in ALL matters. Since you are a lawyer you MUST have a bank account or your law firm has a bank account. I can do a direct deposit of the funds into your account. It is so simple its stupid! You should be expecting me to drag my son AND his wheel chair down to the money gram office every 5 minutes! It is not easy to do and I need to keep my favors of my neighbor to a minimum as I need to use her as a resource for other things.

As for money, I am inheriting much money myself and being a single woman I am not in need of more as I could never spend that much in 2 life times! So the extra doesnt' really matter to me as I have no one to really leave it to myself. My son is sick and won't live long so my money will probably just go to the government or to the red cross or something.

I got on the computer to find myself a husband. As you know it is hard for me to travel without a car of my own so I need to use the computer to help me find a husband. As there are no eligible bachelors on the Island and I am stuck with having to meet people on line. I wanted to find one who would love me for me and not for my money. I wanted to make sure that he would only love me because of whom I am and not for the amount of money I have.

I don't mind helping you out as I know it will assist you. For me I am not so worried as I know my future is assured.

You emailed me for help and I am offering my help BUT, I will not be ridiculed or made to be a joke and I will not ruin my relationship with my neighbor because I have to rely on her too much for other things until I get my money.

So forgive me, I am stressed myself for I have been waiting a long time for my own money to come through and having to continue living this way is quite stressful knowing that the money is coming but isn't quite here yet.

Anyways enough about me. I am more than willing to help you but I am losing patience very quickly, you have to also remember my is in a wheel chair and it is a lot of work getting him in and out of a vehicle to run errands for you! So please do us both a favor and try and make this as easy on me as possible.

Marilyn
- Show quoted text -

Quote:

Dear.Mrs.Marilyn Martin.

I got your email and I quite know you are not trustworthy, because you don't have the trust on me, well if you do not want to pay it back via MONEY GRAM, I guess its for your own good, well I have tried my best trying to help you, I will go to the Bank monday and tell me I am no more your attorney.

Thank You
Barrister Jerry Maduka.

Reply Forward

Marilyn Martin to barrister_jerr., bcc: jmerriot
show details 11:22 AM (11 hours ago) Reply

You think this is all funny and laughed after you insulted me! No I don't want to work with you when you have that attitude! I am a woman of means and do not need to be spoken to in the manner you did. I made you an offer. I really don't need your money. In a year I will be rich when my inheritance comes! So I can wait one more year and not be insulted by a man like you! You tu are a hink you are important because you are a lawyer. Well guess what my friend. My father was a judge in the high supreme court! He well provided for me in his will. It is in probate right now so within a year it will be in my hands! So if you think you can high hand me you are sadly mistaken!

I have met numerous lawyers in my life and most of them are just like you! Arrogant and sleazy.Once I get my inheritance I will not have to rely friends and neighbours to drive me places. I will hire my OWN driver. For that matter I will hire my own pilot too! Then I can come and slap you in the face!

So far I have slapped him a good one I think and he must like pain because he keeps coming back for more![/quote]

Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 3:51 am

Oops sorry guys I must have goofed up the quote command. I am fairly new to forums and using this stuff. Sorry

Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 3:53 am

Well he truly is a glutton for punishement. Is he hinting at a date?? LOL

Quote:

Dear.Mrs.Marilyn Martin.

First of all I must say this but it is funny and please don"t find it too funny and too seriouse so that you don't feel I am lying, YOU SOUND LIKE THE KIND OF MY WOMAN, VERY MEAN AND SERIOUSE AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, BECAUSE WHEN YOU KEEP TALKING AND NAGGING, I WILL JUST BE LAUGHING, to cut the whole story short, I am also single and I really like your kind of woman and would love to know you more and more, well lets talk business and when the Inheritance funds case is won, then we can talk other things, but I don"t mind coming over to CANADA to pay you a visit and also to collect my service fee.

Now please I want you to understand this, your case is a very sensible case, one, normally when a fund is sent to AFRIC, it takes longer time before it is cleared, and the Citizens Bank said you have 7 days to get this done, that is why I want us to work with wisdom so that we can win this case, also the bank I am operating has put in some laws backing funds transfer, due to the sept. 11th incidence and also due to some bad people that has given my country a bad name, so the possibility of transferring money from canada to my country is zero, please try and understand, if it were to be possible, I would have hasted in giving you my account number. Please try and understand and also its funny I would love both of us to commence a beginner friendship.

Thank You
Barrister Jerry Maduka.

Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 3:58 am

Didn't I just chop him a couple days ago? Wink

Posted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 4:00 am

No I think we scared that one off. He hasn't gotten back to me since.

Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:52 am

Well I think I may have lost him. Here is our last exchange! He refuses to give a bank account number. I won't settle for less.

Quote:

You my dear are a very strange man. You also don't seem to understand how difficult it is for me to get to a money gram place and how much of a hardship it presents. If you even considered what was involved then you would be bending over to assist and try to make this easier.

But if that is the way you want it then fine. I hope when you pray that you pray for a soul as you don't seem to have one by expecting a single woman who doesn't own a car to drag her wheel chair bound son first by boat! then into a strangers car jthen drive 75 kms then take him out of the wheel chair and load it back into the boat just to get you some money as you appear too lazy to email me a bank account so that I can easily get the money to you!

Think about that!

Goodbye

Marilyn
- Hide quoted text -

On Sat, Nov 8, 2008 at 7:16 PM, Marilyn Martin <[email protected]> wrote:

You aren't the first person I have helped. I have helped another just recently and he had no problem accepting the funds in Africa into his account and he did not give me near the problem you are! I don't see how it will be a problem for you. You are a lawyer so should easily be able to look after any paperwork necessary.

The world would stop revolving if money was not able to pass from country to country without some sense of ease. I am a very intelligent person and you will not be able to fool me with such shameless drivel!

Marilyn

On Sat, Nov 8, 2008 at 3:10 PM, Barrister Jerry Maduka <[email protected]> wrote:

Dear.Mrs.Marilyn Martin.

First of all I must say this but it is funny and please don"t find it too funny and too seriouse so that you don't feel I am lying, YOU SOUND LIKE THE KIND OF MY WOMAN, VERY MEAN AND SERIOUSE AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, BECAUSE WHEN YOU KEEP TALKING AND NAGGING, I WILL JUST BE LAUGHING, to cut the whole story short, I am also single and I really like your kind of woman and would love to know you more and more, well lets talk business and when the Inheritance funds case is won, then we can talk other things, but I don"t mind coming over to CANADA to pay you a visit and also to collect my service fee.

Now please I want you to understand this, your case is a very sensible case, one, normally when a fund is sent to AFRIC, it takes longer time before it is cleared, and the Citizens Bank said you have 7 days to get this done, that is why I want us to work with wisdom so that we can win this case, also the bank I am operating has put in some laws backing funds transfer, due to the sept. 11th incidence and also due to some bad people that has given my country a bad name, so the possibility of transferring money from canada to my country is zero, please try and understand, if it were to be possible, I would have hasted in giving you my account number. Please try and understand and also its funny I would love both of us to commence a beginner friendship.

Thank You
Barrister Jerry Maduka.

[/quote]

Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 2:54 pm

He doesn't want to quit but he's getting nastier now.

Quote:

Dear.Mrs.Marilyn Martin.

How are you today? I have also tried to explain my own part of this transaction to make things easy, but you don't want to beieve me and understand me, if you think you can"t pay it through western union or money gram, then forget it.

Thank You
Barrister Jerry Maduka.

So I will slap him again.

Quote:

I already said goodbye to you so why are you emailing me again. Go find some other poor soul to be your slave and send you money. You are not any type of lawyer I have ever seen. You are a joke, did you win your title in a game because you certainly don't act like a lawyer, more of a joker or goat farmer trying to pretend to be a lawyer.

I think you are a scammer and not a real lawyer because no lawyer would act the way you do! Are you just trying to scam money from innocent people?? You do know that it is against Gods law? Didn't you say you were at church or was that a lie?

Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 2:56 pm

Oh Aaalllaaaaaannnnnnnn

Dear.Mrs.Marilyn Martin.

GOOD DAY TO YOU.

To be frank you make me sick, but since you want the account number, here is the account number you need, as soon as you make the payment todayy, do let me know.

Name . G S ngangmayo acct number.00000041239.barclays bank pan number barcinbbmum

Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 3:06 pm

parrot wrote:

To be frank you make me sick, but since you want the account number, here is the account number you need, as soon as you make the payment todayy, do let me know.

Wow, I've never seen lads stoop quite that low.

Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 5:04 pm

OK I sent him an email response that I must say I am too embarrassed to copy here but it certainly provoked a response! Lets just say it had something to do with his mother giving birth to a goat.

If you can help me out with some more insults I would like to keep him pissed off at me and talking.

Quote:

I HAVE NOT BEEN INSULTING YOU, BUT YOU HAVE BEEN CALING ME NAMES, AFTER TAKING ALL MY TIME, I WAS PLANNING TO TAKE YOU UP SINCE THE BANK HAS ALL YOUR INFORMATION, BECAUSE I BELIEVE YOU ARE NOT THE RIGHT BENEFICIARY, BUT I BELIEVE AFTER THEY MIGHT HAVE JAILED YOU, THEY MAY WANT TO RELEASE, INSTEAD I WILL USE THE AFRICA WAY FOR YOU, I BELIEVE YOU MUST HAVE HEARD OF THE AFRICAN JUJU, I WILL USE THAT ON YOU, GIVE ME TWO WEEKS YOU WILL BE OUT OF THIS EARTH.

GOOD BYE TO YOU, IT IS NOT A THREATH BUT A REALITY. YOU WANT WAR, IT HAS JUST STARTED.
THANK YOU

419Eater is my life Joined: 20 Oct 2008 Posts: 280

I really hate when they ask me to email their bank or their lawyer. Then I have 10 different banks and I always forget which goes to which. Especially the lads who want me to forward every bank email to them. Why should I when they can see it already Rolling Eyes

Good work so far. I've noticed the harder you slap a lad, the quicker he comes crawling back to your fake money tree.

Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 6:37 pm

His latest post

Quote:

START COUNTING YOUR DAYS, BECAUSE IN THE NEXT 7 DAYS YOU WILL DIE, JUST WATCH IT

Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 6:45 pm

LetsGoYanks wrote:

I really hate when they ask me to email their bank or their lawyer. Then I have 10 different banks and I always forget which goes to which. Especially the lads who want me to forward every bank email to them. Why should I when they can see it already Rolling Eyes

Good work so far. I've noticed the harder you slap a lad, the quicker he comes crawling back to your fake money tree.

I agree, thats why I always goof them up on them and knock one of the emails out. I cross email them or just copy and paste what they say and send it to the lawyer. Then I only have to deal with the one instead of trying to remember which lawyer is with which lad.

Posted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 7:09 pm

OK I just had a little brainstorm all on my own.

I have emailed the original lad (same guy) and told him his lawyer is crazy and lazy and that I had to go back to Money Gram and still have the money to pay him but that he needs to find a different lawyer as his was too stupid and was a goat boy.

We will have to see what happens next. The lad may be too mad to respond but I doubt it as he knows the money was sent and is still available. But he will have to do some work and come up with another lawyer and another bank account as I STILL won't go to WU for him.

Posted: Sun Nov 23, 2008 5:48 am

I am still baiting the main character. He's dropped the lawyer but poor guy just got his money chopped by Gomer.

As for the original barrister. On the eighth day I emailed him to slap him again and let him know that his juju failed!

I just got this response back from the original lad character

Quote:

Dear Beloved Sister Marilyn,

How are you and your son,hope fine.I did not send any body named Mr Gomer to you.Please let me know if you are interested in this transaction,because we are running out of time.My beloved sister,please send the money.Have a nice weekend.
Yours Sincerely
Mr Collins Brown.

I am not sure where to take this yet but hopefully I will come up with something.

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