Amusing opening script

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Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 6:39 pm

I'm fairly new around here so I don't know how common this is, but I found it rather amusing. It seemed like a standard NOK until I got to this part...

Quote:

HERE IS MY PERSONAL DATAS AND PROFILE AND THE DETAILS FOR THIS TRANSACTION. SO SEND ME YOUR DETAILS URGENT
PLEASE THIS MY PERSONAL DATA / PROFILE.
(1) DATE OF BIRTH: 11th April 1961
(2) PLACE OF BIRTH: Fada N'Gourma.
(3) HEIGHT: 1.99
(4) WEIGHT: 84 kg , Not Permanent. (Planning on gaining or losing some weight?)
(5) SEX: Male.
(6) QUALIFICATION: M.B.A in Economics.
(7) OCCUPATION: Banker.
(8 ) PRESENT POSITION: (B.O.A) Manager.
(9) WORKING EXPERIENCE : ( T.I.C) Insurance Banjul Gambia , & Presently In (B.O.A) Ouagadougou Burkina Faso
(10) MARITAL STATUS: Married With 2 Children.
(11) PROVINCE OF ORIGIN OR STATE: Bobo-Dioulasso.
(12) NATIONALITY: Burkina-Faso West Africa .
(13)BLOOD TYPE: Ax.
(14) HOME: Dad, Mum with 2 Brothers, My Wife & 2 Children.
(15) ZODIAC SIGN: Capricorn. (Maybe he'd like his horoscope?)
(16) PASS.PORT NOS: A1008622.
(17) DRIVING LICENCE NOS: If 08140.
(18 ) HOBBIES: Listing To Music & Instructing School Kids.
(19) H.I.V TEST: Negative. (Whew. If he was positive that would have been a scambaiting deal-breaker...)
(20) LIFE POLICIES: Always Sober & Calm. (I guess we won't be hitting the bars together.)
(21) LIFE STYLES: Corporate & Decent. (Oxymoron? Just moron?)
(22) WORK IN A KITTY: Don't Take It Personal. (Uhhh... what?)
(23) FAVOURITE FOOD: Snacks & Rice.
(24) FAVOURITE DRINKS: Soft Drinks.
(25) AIM: To Resign From Bank & Become An International Business Man.
(26) FAMILY ADAGE: To Whom Much Is Given, Much Is Expected.
OFFICE ADDRESS: (B.O.A) North West Zone-Annex, 01 Ouaga Burkina Faso.
HOUSE ADDRESS: 82 Zangote Yenugua 02 Bp 4587 Ouagadougou 02 Burkina-Faso West Africa .
please note..this is not a scam or fraud, (I'm convinced!) you are very free to come down to burkinafaso to verify the genuity of this transaction

I think I'll need him to answer a few more questions...

Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 6:44 pm

How forthcoming of him.

To be honest, I've not seen this before, not in a straight NOK scam anyway. I've seen similar in love scams.

This bit made me laugh:

Quote:

WORK IN A KITTY: Don't Take It Personal

EH??

Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 6:48 pm

Quote:

you are very free to come down to burkinafaso to verify the genuity of this transaction

well, there you go, tell him you contacted your travel agent and your flight leaves sunday, you should arrive in burkinafaso on monday.

Master Baiter Joined: 08 Sep 2008 Posts: 113

"(17) DRIVING LICENCE NOS: If 08140. " If not, 90210.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

I've not seen that before, either. Laughing

I'd be concerned about this part:

Quote:

FAMILY ADAGE: To Whom Much Is Given, Much Is Expected.

Isn't he trying to give you a bunch of money? I'd be asking up front what these expectations are.

Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 7:00 pm

Quote:

(23) FAVOURITE FOOD: Snacks & Rice.
(24) FAVOURITE DRINKS: Soft Drinks.

Thank God that he included this information. No repectable buinessman would even think of entering into business with someone who's preference for food and drink was left a mystery.

But what kind of snacks and what kind of soft drinks? Perhaps he should ship some to you immediately so we can get to the bottom of this pressing issue. The whole transaction rests on this!

By the way, his family adage is ALL screwed up. Ours is, "shut the f*** up! I'm trying to watch American Idol!"

Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 9:20 pm

I've received that Lad CV. quoted his family adage as "There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch".

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 1:09 am

Quote:

...(22) WORK IN A KITTY: Don't Take It Personal...

Please ask your lad what this means. I've seen it quite a few times but never stopped long enough to get an explanation from the lad.

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 4:42 am

BluthBanana wrote:

(26) FAMILY ADAGE: To Whom Much Is Given, Much Is Expected.

Is his name Peter Parker? Shocked

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:10 am

That's a first for me! Very Happy

You found yourself a winner with that lad, keep us posted!

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 1:36 pm

This was the reply after my initial response

Quote:

Good morning sir, you are very free to ask any question because this transaction is not a joke

That makes me feel much better. Heck, I never even implied it was a joke, but let the games begin!

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 2:19 pm

Ah, but how does he know it's not a joke? Can he tell a joke when he sees one? Does he recognise a good giggle when he hears one? Is he reliable in matters of guffawing? In short, does he have a good sense of humour? If so, why did he leave that out? It's important information. I think he needs to send you a joke a day for at least a week before you can begin to take him seriously. Laughing

Edit for typo.

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 2:31 pm

Also, from another account where I requested more details about our transaction I was given this nugget among other things

Quote:

As an advanced man, i have perfected everything to gaurantee success

So is he a cyborg or has he just evolved rapidly?

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 3:54 pm

Getting this one to fill in, say, the GIT forms, won't be too much trouble i suspect.. Laughing

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:53 pm

Did I read that right, he is 1,99 m tall? Surprised

A real Hightower. Ask him whether he knows "Police Academy" Wink

Posted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 2:15 pm

I hope I can keep this one going because after only one e-mail he was off script and makes me laugh. We can have a lot of fun, I imagine! Twisted Evil

Quote:

Dear,
i thank you so much for your reply,as you can see today is sunday i am on way to church but before i leave for the church i will answer your question

1st question.. work in a kitty..answer... it can be anywhere, but presently i work in a bank (still no idea what that meant)

2nd question..What are your favorite snacks..answer..hotdog and meatpie

3rd question..What is your favorite soft drink..answer..cocacola and malt drink

when i say this transaction is not a joke what i mean is..you should take every bit of it very serious

i hope i have answered all your questions correctly

i am waiting for you

have a nice lovely sunday and make sure you go to church

b4mb4r4 kut3

Normally I wouldn't ask him so many questions at once, but I couldn't help myself on this one. Such a treat.

Posted: Sun Oct 05, 2008 2:59 pm

Frumpy:

I am over 2m tall Smile

Master Baiter Joined: 08 Sep 2008 Posts: 113

Not to be a buzzkill but... Working in a kitty is probably more fun, but perhaps he means working in a city?

But hot dogs and meat pies.. I think he needs to pick a side on that one.. USA or UK? What are his favorite sports, cricket and baseball? Does he drive down the middle of the street? I'd hate to ask about football.

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:18 am

^^or possibly Work Ethics

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:30 am

@ The Man - thanks for converting it to metres and saving me from doing complicated mathematics like 6 x 30 cm + ? x 2,54 cm Cool

[> 2m ! wow!]

The lad, too, makes a very tall impression, I would take every bit of him seriously, even a bit off his hot dog Very Happy

As a future business partner, I would seriously offer this^^ to help him making his weight more permanent.

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 10:33 am

Quote:

2nd question..What are your favorite snacks..answer..hotdog and meatpie

Is that a 'hotdog and meat pie', or does he like hotdogs and also likes meat pies? Wink

edit to fix quote

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:11 am

That 'Work in a kitty, but don't take it personal' crack must be hilarious in Naija, and try as I might, I can't stop trying to figure out what it means. I arrived at "Kitty" and "Purrrrsonal" early on, and that's certainly up there with the best of 'em from what I've seen of lad humour, but wtf is a 'kitty' in the context of a job description?

Someone work it out, please, because I've already given it much more time than it deserves.

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:31 am

kitty as in 'putting money in the kitty'?

He's in charge of the office birthday collections, and if he proves himself, he'll be secret santa coordinator this year

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2008 11:36 am

^^^ I think maybe someone (I can't remember who, too lazy to look) got it right about 'city' and 'kitty'. City with a hard K sound would be Kitty. And then personal/purrrsonal. But I'm probably reading too much into it, that'd be a rather advanced and obscure 'pun' of sorts.

Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 4:58 am

Ah...nice to see that one back. It's an old format:

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=115385&highlight=capricorn
http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=103839&highlight=capricorn

Roses can't be that far behind Wink