M00seknuckle, NSFW!! safari/police custody

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Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:44 pm

^^^ oops, lol..

Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 12:44 pm

^^^ oops, lol..

Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2008 9:30 pm

Lots of emails. In one he has been attacked by hoodlums (BTW is this really a contemporary term? Sounds more like an Ellington song to me, or I´m thinking of racketeer movies like The Roaring Twenties with James Cagney & Humphrey Bogart Very Happy

Lagos is beginning to interest me.).

Anyway, our friend has a new phone number. Hope his CBN workmates won´t be confused and calling hoodlums now!
Alternative explanation - what a dumba$$ - is that he fell victim to a car crash (no, not plane crash.)

Ok, you will be surprised, boss, he wants money BEFORE the completed application sheet! Terrible - we´ve never thought of that!

Quote:

Thank you for your mail. Please I really advice that you send the money as
requested so that it will enable me to commence on the project immediately.
Please you can now call me with this number: +234xxx. This isb
ecause I lost my phone alongside theother number which I gave to you to
some hoodlums while trying to secure the documents yesterday evening.

So he escaped from the tommygun fights with the hoodlums, barely saving his life, but securing our forms? Very Happy

(Possibly by dressing up as women and playing bass and altosax in a womens´ orchestra now?)

Quote:

Your mail has been received. According our previous discussion and the
western union details send to you earlier, I want the payment detail change
because I was involved in a car crash last night with Mr. Olatunde Dauda who
was to pick up the money on my behalf. In the process I lost my phone in
fact as you are reading this mail. Mr. Olatude Dauda is hospitalized."

So that´s how your phone numbers change in Nigeria! Must have been the Nitti gang - call Elliot Ness!

EDIT Boss, he also babbles something about email hackers ??!?

Quote:

O,

Don't you follow my instructions, i told you that the box as been hack that
some people are somewhere following the conversation and this new address
you said i contact you from is not mine, it is for those hacker which i told
you and i believe i have contacted you through my live email which you
refuse to reply me from there and the address they send to you is is
wrong.address:'[email protected]<wrong.address%3A%[email protected]>',this
is not mine is for the hacker.

I also ask you to call me yesterday about the payment which you refuse, why?

Please get back to me on phone and if you do not follow my instruction you
might the money to the wrong people, furthermore i thought you have my
picture and finger print.

Thanks

Frank
+234xxx

Because the 2 sheets are missing, bum!

Quote:

O

I have once send you mail from my other mail box which is un...@gm
ail.com.

Why are you saying you don't know if i can be your representative you h
ave ask for every information which i gave to you and the document i feel i
t and send it to you.

I see know reason why you are making such statement and furthermore have yo
u been listening to another person. You promise to send $7000 yesterday onc
e you receive the last two document and now you are saying you are not sure
if i can be your representative again.

Please tell me what is going on and i reply your mail that is because of th
e time defferent.

Please get back to me.

Thanks

Frank.

I reply shortly:

Quote:

Subject: Re: What is your problem with the sheets?

Nice to hear from you Mr. frank,
We need page 4 and 6, Sir. Urgently. No payment is possible before.

Goodbye

R O.

Forgot to say, take care of the hoodlums! Laughing

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 1:21 pm

Pat (f0reign acc0unts manager) received this from him

Quote:

Pat,

Randy is saying he don't think he can continue, he did not even think of my time and money in put in this and the advert i have started working on.

Please get back to me.

Thanks

Frank

her reply

Quote:

I find it odd that you are making accusations of Randy's character. I mentioned this to him during our business meeting this morning and he stated to me that you have failed to provide tha completed application. Is this true?

I would suspect Randy told you that if the full application is not submitted, we can not proceed with our business offer.

Pat

he also sent a message to Emily (Accounting department)

Quote:

Emily,

How are you today and the family?

You are my name sake i will be waiting to hear from you about the advance fee.

Thanks

Frank

maybe a cattle prod to his bollocks will get him moving?

Quote:

Mr Johnson

I am well, thank you. This email is a follow up from todays company business meeting. We have received 3 new applications this week and have had serious interest from 2 others.

After a brief discussion with our human resource manager, R@ndy 0ldman, he has advised us that you have yet to submit the full application to this company.

Based on the recomendation of the board of directors, you have failed to follow company guidlines and we have no other choice but to revoke our employment offer. This decision was based on your failure to provide the completed application in a timely manner as required by company laws.

You are hereby notified that by the end of business today, if we do not receive the missing portions of the application, you will no longer be employed as our foreign field agent.

Sincerly

Emily

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:05 pm

Hey boss, he sent us sheets 4 and 6 23 hours ago Embarassed

I did not see them in between the pile of his 10-odd emails since yesterday!

So we have the application complete Very Happy

but not correct!
EDIT Sent him this :

Quote:

Dear Mr. J, hello there!

This is our business email server, I am indeed having trouble with logging in my old Gmail account. It seems the spam filter is badly adjusted. Out technical department is looking after this.

We have just received your full completed application. The Financial Department is going to discuss the exact amount as soon as possible.

Photograph No. 1 is perfect, No.2 is not correct, unfortunately. We would need one photograph each in full standing, with neutral face expression.

As soon as this is done, your payment will be released. Your details are already passed on to Emers0n.

Boss, for security reasons, shouldn´t we rather accept a snail mail version of the application sheet? Would buy us time, and he could prepare our first model.

In order to win time, the Model Portfilio Boss writes :

Quote:

Mister F J,

I have just received your application portfolio.

Your Western Union contact details are :
<blablabla...>
Is this correct?

Posted: Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:56 pm

Birds always appear whenever you are near.................. NO

his manhood is a golden bunny? LOL_sign

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 8:27 pm

Boss, our main applicant is acting funny :

Quote:

Hey Guys,

How are you today and the family?

What is holding you guys in sending the money and i have waited for your call all night but nothing, please explain the situation of things down there.

Pleas get back to me.

Frank
+234xxx

And 2 other emails in front of that. He better sleep at night. Laughing

My reply:

Quote:

Dear Sir,

R´s work is done. From now one, we need to talk about money, and photography.

You have not done the application properly. Photograph No. 2 is not correct.,

In order to receive the full (raised) amount of 7,000 $, we need a fuill body sample photograph AND a portrait photograph of the first model you have found to work for us.

Any additional model will be rewarded with an additional 10,000 $ upfront single payment by us, as soon as we receive the two sample photographs.

That´s company policies.

Yours faithfully, Em

Oh dear, the typos Embarassed

but I was on the phone besides.

Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 8:36 pm

if he can't handle this mild bit of pain, he is in no condition for this business. especially after accounting sent him this email

Quote:

Thank you for your email. I arrived at the office today to find that the payment clerk has misplaced your account details. I apologize for this and ask that you send them to me again so that I can work on your transfer.

Also, I talked to Pat today and she stated an offer was made to you to handle a few of our clients? I am curious if you accepted this offer? If I might make a recommendation, the clients offered to you are only asking for concept suggestions, so you may want to consider taking both of them. Pat and Emxxson can help you with ideas.

I only suggest this because I could include the additional money with this payment. the running shoe client is $11,1oo.00 and the bicycle client is an additional $9,4oo. If my math is correct you will receive $27,5oo.00.

Please reply to me quickly.

FrumpyBB and I exchange most of these emails between us, so these posted are for those following our progress

Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:28 pm

BOSS, we have our first model Rolling Eyes

Quote:

Em,

Below is the copy of my attachment and that of the model which am going to send to you, i need to ask for his permission because we do not release peoples picture like that.

Am sure you still have the payment information with you and please once you receive this picture kindly proceed in sending the money right away.

Thanks

Frank.

I would say, NOT genuine ! - Also, he is "not for sale" Laughing

Frumpy replied:

Quote:

Dear Mr. Johnson,

Please allow your model to be photographed in white underwear.

We were very clear that we need an underwear model shot. That´s what our customers want to see.

Your processing fee of 7,000 $ for you and 10,000$ for EVERY model you succeed to win for M M is still waiting for you, however, our customers are waiting, so please help us to satisfy their needs.

Yours faithfully, Em

Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 11:04 am

His reply to the above I only read just now, MM does not work on weekends, do they? (at least not in the office)

Quote:

Am a popular person and also a agent so how can send a picture with a white under wear, if you are not okay with what i send to you kindly let me know because i have tried my best to secure this job and that of my model you are requesting for will be send to you by tommorrow, so whil not proceed in making the payment for my own part today.

OK, about time he understands what we need and what our policies are. Since you were not available during the weekend I have made them up on my own whilst enjoying a mug of coffee.

Quote:

It is good to know that you are popular because we will be relying on your local contacts not only to win us new models but also a local photographer.

Therefore we would require just two models to be photographed in white underwear.

We hope you will also allow us to use these photographs to send to our customers.

As soon as we receive underwear shots of at least two different models, you will

a) immediately receive your 7,000 $ + 2 x 10,000 $ gratification = 27,000 $

b) also receive a sum of 15,000 $ for your photographer to obtain the best possible equipment for later5 shots, since we will not only be needing your first two model applicants but over the time the demand is likely to be up to 25 a year.

Your contacts should enable us to start a good partnership for our mutual benefit.

I need to visit a photography blog to get some better technical knowledge...

Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 12:34 pm

FrumpyBB wrote:

MM does not work on weekends, do they?

work on the weekends? heck, we barely work during the week.

Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 2:14 pm

Is it possible for our Form Design Department to state that applicants must hold a small sign with an ID-Code ? (Nudge nudge. Know what I mean? nudge nudge.)

Also a handwritten declaration that this lad will be owned by MM and must not model for any other comapies, like the Shiver Modeling Corporation? Very Happy

Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 3:00 pm

trying to get him to sign the employment contract, it states all sorts of legal stuff.

I'm sure ID-1ot will come into play at some point. perhaps after you get your undywear pics...

Posted: Mon Sep 22, 2008 9:45 pm

Bwahahahahaha - he did not even try Very Happy

Quote:

Eme,

This thing you are asking is not that easy but i have to take the risk to send you this picture because i do not ask for the permission of my model because they are out of town.

Kindly view the picture and get back to me with the payment information of the money you promise to send.

Thanks

Frank

Attached are two catalogue pics (3 k size each! wow!) called "Yinka" and "Fed" - stolen from I don´t know where Rolling Eyes

However, maybe I will say these are excellent examples and now we just need the Contract ("ask -name- from the ... -department!") and the 10T document to faciliate the money transfer... Smile

EDIT Straight reply sent :

Quote:

Dear Mr. Johnson,

These are excellent examples of what our customers expect from models in Nigeria.

I hope you can get these two gentlemen under your wings for our company.

We are very satisfied with your work so far.

Waiting for the ok from the Service & Contracts Department.

Respectfully,
Em

Knowing that he hasn´t done the contract yet, of course Smile

EDIT Tuesday

Reply done been in from him Smile

and the modeling business is a cold business, I haven´t even shed a tear..

Quote:

Em

Thanks for that and i really appreciate it and those model and my best model so am sorry for not sending the document today i lost my son yesterday evening and my wife is very down so please give me till tomorrow and the contract document will be with you people.

Please be expecting the document first thing tommorrow.

Thanks

Frank

What document? Your working contract I presume...
I resist the tempation asking about hi shash condisions and sent him this:

Quote:

Dear Mr. Johnson,

Please accept my sincere condolences.

I am sure accepting your contract tomorrow will not jeopardize our business. At any rate, this ought to be sent to Rl O.

Also looking forward to your improved modeling pictures. Are you the photographer?

Regards, Em

-
We surely get to know many strange people in this modeling biz Wink

Hope our negotiations with 55C are ongoing Very Happy

Quote:

Good Day Sir,

Am Prince V of West Africa Ghana and i received a mail from one of your members R O (c´est moi) who wanted me to be Model representative here in west Africa part and after thinking about it for some while,i liked it and so am interested but never heard from him till now and i have been trying to reach him but not reach him by his contact so please try to let me know what to do so i can start the employment immediately without delay.

I sent him some picture of some little ladies i know here and so please let me hear from you so we can proceed.

Best Regards,

Prince V

I have forgotten about that catcher account today at noon. Impatience!

Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 2:03 pm

Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 2:05 pm

Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 2:15 pm

Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 5:41 pm

You meet many strange people in this business...here is one who thinks that without an application he can send us stolen pics from the web and be paid for it Laughing

Quote:

WHAT IS NEXT..??

Hello Mr Rl O,

i received your mail and i thank you for the explanation.I am now well convinced and am well interested as a branch of your model here.I know many places here and sees many girls here.I have some of their pics which i have attached in this mail.Please try to find it and see they are some example of ladies i know here as now as i just received your proposal.

My name is Prince V and i will like if we can discuss on phone to hear and understand better discussion as i don't too much trust in mail.I tried to reach the contact that you sent to me but no one picks.I think machine pick me but not talk.I will appreciate if you send me your personal contact for discussion or contact me immediately on 00233 244 93 lS 7S this is my personal contact and you can reach me at any time.

Mr R O,please try to find the pics that i have attached and let me know what to do agin because i need not to waste time on this business.Let me know what is needed so i can let the ladies know and perpare for such thing.I can chat you for you to see the ladies before you come even live on cam but we need to know and understand here because there are somew things which are needed here as you know africa as we are is poor but there are much beautiful ladies here which you will like.They have really African beauty,they show really who is a woman in any style.

As not to talk muh and no time to waste,i like to end here so you also let me hear from you soonest to know what to do.

Regards,

Prince

I don´t think he´s a serious applicant Laughing

*shakes head*
Attached were 6 femmes, all taken from the net, I´m pretty sure - but see for yourself.

Another one, a singer-beggar, has already adopted his script to my MM ASEM Laughing

Quote:

I went through your wetsite and I noticed you are heading to some other area of life which I considered to be but the wrong way of life,but what can I do in a case like this where this seems to be the only option left for my survival.I can be one of your agents if you whish that I be.I have the talent of singing in me,I have composed a lot of songs which I believe will touch the hearts of many,but still,without the fund to run this very program I am bound to go no where.

This is too hot! Very Happy

Another one, to bewilder you he calls himself Prince as well, has finished the application Very Happy

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 12:42 pm

Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 3:16 pm

@FrumpyBB - I know that girl in the white top. Seriously, I do...!!

Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 2:22 pm

Here is what George wrote. Many "applicants" think they can get money by sending us stolen pics, without the completed application Rolling Eyes

Quote:

hello r,

thanks for your help,i will provide some pics of my friends which are into modelling,see if you like them and get back to me.
yours faithfully

I better spare you the 9 attachments, a male focus hawaii model (is my guess), looking extremely bored on top of that.

Officially, I word it this way though :

Quote:

Dear George,

Thanks for these submissions. They are indeed acceptable.

Have we received the filled application form from you? You need to fill in the pages and in fact need only 2 photographs in your application for a modeling agent.

I will get back to you later with more details. Since it is weekend, allow us time for a positive answer until Monday.

When you application is ready, you can expect a detailed sup up of the exact amount of upfront funding you can expect to receive from M M.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Yours, R

@ MGK - SP brought a nice idea into my mind, the bike applicant, he should show some action. Our customers want to see him riding down a hill, or even being photographed during a jump. Need to think about prewriting some emails accordingly.

@ Simba - I don´t know them but one of MM´s former customers has a striking resemblance to hip hop video model Esther Baxter Laughing

MGK seems to be happy to invite all the MM staff yet again to one of the luxurious SSCamps, with shuttle services for everybody who has an invitation, is that right? Wink

Our boys are from Lagos, mostly, and one is from the Ivory Coast (IIRC), so which resort could you recomment us for our October Modelling Rehearsal Show (plus TV team) ? Hehehe. MM needs to plan ahead.

Apart from that, the president´s seat is still vacant, and the more commitment I show, the more likely I am not having to hoover the offices during night shifts any more. Besides, I´m fed up with our coffee machine. I think I´m actually going to write that to the next lad who complains about printing and scanning troubles...

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 2:55 pm

we received the following photos today from one of our employees. these are for an advertising proposal to present to our client. the fake clients company name is on the shirt.

criteria for the photos;

Quote:

the first photo is to be a female model standing near a bicycle wearing shorts and a white t-shirt.

The second photo is to be of the female model riding the bicycle.

The third photo is to be of the model after her bicycle ride, she must appear to be tired and covered in sweat (as if she exercised hard).

In each picture the client asks for their company name to be visible (written on a wall, a shirt or however you think looks good).

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 6:25 pm

I´m lost

are they from a real ladette you have not told your employees about, or are they Marvinatored?

We also ought to plan our MM October meeting, together with 55C. In March a few baiters and I tried to get some mugus together at a businessmen´s conference at a hotel in Accra, out of 5 at least 2 came to the hotel and one travelled half the way. Looking for the scripts from them. Even if it does not quite sound like a big success right now, I thought it was great fun, anywy we need to get the spirit across to our sponsorers, international customers, and models. It would be a shame of the latter were missing Laughing

Mr. Simba, would you be in it? You have such a high reputation at our local travellers´ club.

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 6:36 pm

ldris sent them today, R@ndy should have received them.

my question, what is on her shirt in pic #6? Shocked

Posted: Mon Sep 29, 2008 6:44 pm

Show them to SP Very Happy

great!!! Do you think she could show us some downhill action?

I´d like you to add a secretary to the website, too...sooner or later we need an employee to put the blame on. Can also be a lawyer, barrister, or "office boy". Possibly a young gentleman off the streets of Festac Town?

Could you add a sentence to your website a la

" MM has decided to recruit >insert name of dummy here< to add to its financial staff. She/He has been working for several renowned agencies mostly in Nigeria and is willing to assist in all payment and credit modalities. His/her main task is to guide our new employers to invest their MM revenues and to pay out the new models of our agents."

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