Chain gets safari'd! (and does the whole Stinky-Leg thing)

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Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 2:49 am

^^^ I know. I'm something of a snake mavin. I've been scaring my family with tales of speedy, agessive black mambas myself.

...

I feel cheated.

So I'm in Barnes and Nobles, stocking up for the plane flight. And what to my wondering eye does appear, but something called "Mini Scrabble". It's tiny! Perfect for airplains! There's also some fine print about how, due to the size, there aren't as many letters, but I can live with that.

I start packing tonight, and for the first time I take a good look at my purchase. I notice that what I had assumed was the case for holding the tiles is, in fact, the whole game. (Amazon photos are actual size). There's a little pull-out drawer, with a tiny plastic bag, containing small objects that, if you have a powerful microscope on hand, appear to be letter tiles. For vertically challenged elves. I think this guy says it best.

On the second thought, Google Search suggests that "carabiner" is a typr of keychain. Maybe I should have been warned.

Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 3:25 am

^^^You don't know what a carabiner is? Haven't you ever been rock climbing...or seen a teenager's set of car keys.

A carabiner is typically used in rock climbing (or anything else you need a harness for) to attach the harness to the rope. It's also put on car keys so that you can attach your keys to a your belt loop.

Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 1:29 pm

Did I miss it, but where are you going?

Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 2:10 pm

Africa.

I am really, really worried about this plane flight. I'm a fast reader, and I only have seven paperbacks with me. I think I'm going to be making a stop at the airport gift shop.

Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 2:17 pm

ChainYanker wrote:

Africa.

I got that much. Laughing

Africa is a big place you know... where specifically?

Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 5:39 pm

Don't fall for the love scam in Africa Amanda!!! There's plenty of love to go round! Wink

Have fun, travel safe, if you see Usman Bello... run! Watch out for crocs, hippos, lions, wilder beast, and ... oh yeah snakes. They all make for great pictures so keep your eyes open and keep your arms and legs in that jeep. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:24 pm

ChainYanker wrote:

Africa.

I am really, really worried about this plane flight. I'm a fast reader, and I only have seven paperbacks with me. I think I'm going to be making a stop at the airport gift shop.

Dude, if you read anywhere near as fast as I do, which is about 100 pages an hour, then you will be fine. I've been on several longass plane flights before and you will get bored about 4 hours in. The entire rest of the time will be you trying to get your ass to sleep. Trust me. Those flights really get so boring that you can't even read. (My favorite was the 10.5 hour jaunt to Hawaii. That was terrible. For some reason it felt like 20)

I also tend to bring that many books when I go on a trip. I never actually finish them all though. And I am quite sure you won't either.

So don't sweat it. Plus all of there books will just add more weight to your luggage.

Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 9:25 pm

Have fun CY, and save your receipts. Wink

Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 3:06 pm

Day 1 :
Nigeria, stand outside an Internet Cafe with your camcorder, and shout "EFCC, this is a raid!"
Day 2 : photographing goats and pyramids of sandbags
Day 3 : meet as many Charles Soludo's as possible
Rest of week: searching for stredded TWAT's. (look for has conditions, or follow your nose)

Have a wonderful time!

Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:03 pm

I'm exhausted, I'm on a slow connection, and I haven't been near a computer in weeks. I don't know where to start.

Let me say this: all those nice ladies who tell you they're writing on their laptops from their hospital beds- don't believe them. I asked for a computer when I was in the hospitaand no one got me one. Someone brought her own, but there was no internet connection there.

Also, just because your tour guide says it's safe to touch the lion, doesn't mean it's safe to touch the lion.

I meant to be long back by now, but I'm streded in South Africa. Something about infections, skin grafts, and all that doodle. I've been persistantly under attack by Modern Medicine, and I probably won't reach American soil until sometime next November. Sure, they say they'll let me out in two weeks, one of them spent immobilized and lying on my back. Sure. They keep saying that.

Everyone here is contractually obligated to gape at me and say "A lion? How did you manage to get yourself bitten by a fricking lion?" They can't help it. They are duty-bound to keep making me retell the story, over and over again. Or at least, make my mom tell it. I just saigh and say that it's a long story. You're going to have to do with the "long story" line for now, too, until I can find a better keyboard. Suffice it to say that a lion tried to use my ankle as a chew-toy, and I came out rather the worse for it.

The lion people feel very sorry, have no idea what went wrong, the lion's never acted this before, we're soooo sorry. They gave me a free t-shirt. When I get my hands on some fabric paint, I'm going to write I WAS BITTEN BY A LION AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID T-SHIRT on it.

I also have no place to spend my newly accumulated cool points. I estimate I earned 53.5 of them for shouting "It's just a flesh wound!"as I was being carried into the ambulance, with half a point deducted because the ambulance workers weren't familiar with the works of Monty Python.

I did go on with the safari, because I'm a crazy stubborn animal-person, and a small thing like a lion bite isn't gonna stop me from limping around Kruger. Incidentally, do you know how awkward it is to be a female with a full bladderb on crutches in the middle of the bush? No, you don't. Suffice it to say that it requires considerable ingenuity and flexibilty.

The infection, et al, came two days before I was due to fly home. Not that I'm bitter about spending my summer vacation on my back in a hospital ward. No, not bitter at all. I mean, it's not like I could be relaxing in my home with my cat, instead of limping around with a suction pump attached to my leg. I alsocan't bathe with this thing on, leading my brother to kidnly tell me that I was both Stinky and the Leg. I told him to go away.

I'm getting tired, and the slow computer is annoying me. I mean, when I type a letter it takes ten minutes to show up on the screen. So you'll have to hear the juicy details of my oddessy later. G'night.

Oh, yes, and I do have the promised photos. You'll have to wait until I get home, though.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

I WAS BITTEN BY A LION AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS STUPID T-SHIRT

I'm glad that you have kept your sense of humor. Very Happy

Get better soon so that we can see the pictures.

Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:13 pm

Did you at least bite his paw as well, or yank out some of his coat? Very Happy

Get well soon!

Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 9:10 pm

What an adventure, CY Shocked

I'm glad that you are alive!

I can't wait to see the pictures and may not be the only member who would like to see a picture of an African hospital, too.

Get well soon! Very Happy

Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 9:18 pm

Bitten by a lion?

That is so cool!!!

That can only be trumped by being attacked by a Great White Shark.

OK. It may suck to be you right now but in the future.... dude!!! It was a freaking lion!!! You'll win every "Look at this scar" competition going. Cool

Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 9:20 pm

You got bitten my a freaking lion? How the hell did you manage that. Personally, I think you get at least 100 cool points for that. I mean, at least you weren't mauled like Roy Horn. But still. Hell of a story to tell your grandkids one day.

Hope you get better.

Seriously...a lion?

Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 9:28 pm

You'll do anything for an 'Eaten by a lion' tag.

Get better soon, dude, you can dine out on that one for a long time. Get an 'Ask me how I got this limp' T-shirt. Smile

Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 9:44 pm

@ChainYanker - Really sorry to hear about your woes, but what a great story to tell the grandkids one day.... Laughing

Get well soon.... Very Happy

Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 9:46 pm

Awesome. ....... If it's true .......... Are we being baited into sending a new laptop and maybe a couple of phones to some safari camp in South Africa??? Shocked

CY, seriously, get better soon, and thanks for the laugh. Laughing

Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 9:46 pm

^^ Dude? I was always under the impression CY is a dudette .. something in her sig line refers to that in a very subtile way.. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 2922

Get well soon. Very Happy

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

@Dutch-

Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 6:20 am

Chainy, well done, you can use it in a bait, keep the hospital pics, the receipts, you couldn't meet your lad because

you were bitten by a lion!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Brilliant!

Take care, there is a laptop with sat connection on it's way with Parcel Direct, you will have to pay the FedEx charges by WU but that's no problem

Get well as soon as you can, the lads are missing you

Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 9:25 am

CY wrote:

I told him to go away

As the billboards down here say "Yeah, right!"

Damn, all I ever got was a mild hissing at by a lion cub and a couple of seagull messages. Guess I should try harder.

Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 9:38 am

@irishemigrant: exactly what I was thinking! Great material to work Wink

Get well soon CY!

Posted: Mon Aug 11, 2008 9:56 am

Yes, I was just thinking that whap happened to me in real life is more outlandish than anything that's happened to my baiting characters. Not that that's saying much, in my case...

Anyhow, I'm at a better computer now, so here's the full(er) story.

There's this lion conservation group with this whole complicated plan for reintroducing lions. Stage One involves taking cubs for walks in the svanna. They get their money from inviting tourists along on these walks.

Now when I say cub, I'm not talking cute tiny little baby Simbas. "Cub" can be anywhere up to eighteen months. (That's not me, but that's the same lion. The lady in the picture was luckier). So you know how cats think it's absolutely hillarious to jump out at you and bite your ankles? Well young lions are the same, except that house cats don't ususally send you to the hospital with 60+ stitches.

The lion people swear up and down that this sort of thing has never happened before, and they don't know why their protage suddenly decided to play Chew The Chainy with me. Me, I have a feeling it's my bad karma from laughing at the exploits of Stinky & Co. "You think being stranded in a foreign country with a bad leg is so funny, Miss Chain? Then why don't you try it for yourself?"

The pictures (as far as I can tell from the thumbnails on my camera) are gorgeous. I am sure I will come home to find a delegation from National Geographic on my doorstep, begging me to join their team. Probably.

EDIT: I am quite touched by the lovely custom tag. Thank you.

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