TWAT - Chad Safari - Office Memo/E-mail Fwd Thread:

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Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 1:56 pm

I want them to apply for the "introduction to TWAT" training seminar.

Can you imagine the forms they would have to fill out to qualify?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Well, Melinda is feeling a tad better, but is not in the office today. I hope nobody throws her food away over the weekend. Evil or Very Mad

I'm not sure who is playing the part of Jennie, but your last email cracked me up. Jennie has been sending out emails concerning the renovation of the restrooms. Yesterday, after Melinda sent the email concerning the problems with her colon, Jennie sent this one out:

Quote:

Hi Melinda,
Just a quick note, you're aware that the restroom nearest to your office (A28) is currently closed as part of the rolling program of refurbishments, aren't you? Your nearest restroom will be the already refurb'd A9 (or alternatively B26 on the next floor up) until sometime Saturday morning.
Hope you're feeling better soon

I hope Jennie doesn't mind me posting that, but I thought it was hilarious.

I came into work this morning and got an email announcing that the water would be turned off at 9:00 a.m.. For some reason I burst out laughing. I will never, ever be able to look at office email the same way again.

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 6:07 pm

Quote:

Subject: Important information regarding Rev. Ben Dover

Quote:

I thought it would be fun for the lads to see that subject line, get their hopes up, then find out it was just the usual interoffice TWAT nothings.

That's a good idea - I know at work when I see an e-mail that doesn't apply to me I just delete, but if it's general enough that I'm not sure I end up reading it

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 8:00 pm

@ Everyone - I just had a chance to catch up on all of the e-mails you're sending and wanted to say thanks! There's some great stuff in there. It's gotta be irritating as hell to open your e-mail and only find that shit. Great job!!

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Sep 2004 Posts: 209

The lads' email is bouncing again. Crying or Very sad

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:21 pm

I just sent him an email this morning and had no problems. That's weird. I never received a single bounce message.

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 4:27 am

Perhaps we need to tempt them with those annoying Finance department emails about getting all invoices to them so they go out in the next payment cycle...

Of course if the lads respond to those directly and try and send their expensies I can happy provide all sorts of doctored purchase order forms and other offical documents.

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 11:45 pm

none ever bounced back at me either.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Well, even if the lads aren't reading them, I think we need an email explaining reverend dovers condition and asking everyone to pray for him.

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 1:37 am

Yeah, they haven't read mail in a few days according to readnotify.

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 12:43 pm

They just checked their email today...

Someone wrote:

Quote:

Reverends Ndubuisi and Omezi

First of all, allow me to offer my belated congratulations on obtaining the status of Reverend. I'm sure that you will do a fine job of spreading the word of TWAT throughout Africa.

I apologize for the shortness of this notice, however I was out of the office Thursday and Friday due to lactose intolerance. I need to get your measurements so I can order you your TWAT Sunday Service Apparal.. As you are no doubt aware, these will be the clothes that you will be wearing when you conduct your TWAT services. I need this information IMMEDIATELY so that I may send them to the taylor. Will the lords blessing these outfits should be completed by the first part of next week, and ready for me to send to you so you can start your services.

For each of you I need the following (in inches):

Chest size
Waist size
Thigh size
Arm length
Neck size

Preferred fit (loose, tight, or medium)
Cut of clothes (normal or bellbottom pants)

Please send these to me as quickly as possible so that I may place the order with the Taylor. God Bless

Secretary Melinda Babyjay

To which they replied:

Quote:

Dear Melinda Babyjay,

Thanks for the information and attached below is the request:

For each of us:

For Rev Miracle Charles Ndubuisi sizes below;

Chest size = 37
Waist size = 32
Trousser Length = 42
Thigh size = 24
Arm length = 24
Neck size = 17,1/2
Preferred fit (loose)
Cut of clothes (normal)

For Rev Andrew Ezekiel Omezi sizes below;

Chest size = 43
Waist size = 36
Trousser Length = 43,1/2
Thigh size = 26
Arm length = 26
Neck size = 18,1/2
Preferred fit (loose)
Cut of clothes (normal)

To Rev Benjamin Dover, our prayer is permanent healing Amen.

God bless.

Rev Miracle Charles Ndubuisi and Rev Andrew Ezekiel Omezi

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 12:45 pm

OMG they are just perfect to be TWAT members! Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Jojo, that was me. I can't believe that the lads responded. Very Happy

They are into this 100%.

Those are going to be some funny looking pants. 32" waist and 42" length? I'm a 32" waist and 30" length. How tall are these TWATS? I was kinda hoping one of them would want bellbottom pants though.

I'll get the order into the Taylor.

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 2:07 pm

Please, when is going to be accidentally included in the emails? I'm feeling rather creative at the moment! I'm sure I can add to the mix.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I just realized that in my email to them I never asked them for the pants length. They included that one on their own. These are truly special, special TWATS.

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 2:38 pm

Indeed, they are special. I believe that they were checking their email this morning to get the phone number and email of the hospital where Dover is staying. Oops. We forgot to send it.

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 5:41 pm

Jayhawk wrote:

Those are going to be some funny looking pants. 32" waist and 42" length?

Too bad I embrace the Spend No Money Baiting ethic. Otherwise I'd love to find some mega-long trousers to send these two TWATS. Of course, model photos would be required for an upcoming TWAT newsletter.

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 6:13 pm

Quote:

Too bad I embrace the Spend No Money Baiting ethic

Tell that to Prof who has to pay for $15 calls to Chad. These baits have cost us (mostly Professor So and So) quite a bit of money. But it keeps him from going out, getting drunk and contracting STDs, so it's worth it he says.

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 6:22 pm

Well, more STDs. Wink

Yeah, baiting can be pricey for me, but it's cheaper than most other entertainment options in Hawaii. Nothing like hearing a lad reduced to tears.

Elite Baiter Joined: 16 Jul 2008 Posts: 1407

Hey Prof, I PM'd ya with the email addy. Any time frame for adding to the email list?

Thanks

(Hawii huh? That's a nice place. My wife and I honeymoon'd there 14 years ago. Would love to get back.)

Not quite a Newb Joined: 24 Jun 2008 Posts: 20

Even though the request was for their measurements in inches, the lads didn't specify units on their reply with the measurements.

When it is discovered that the tailor made the suits to centimeters instead of inches this could open up to a great "Spinal Tap" moment (and delays for the lads...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WXGbwIkvh38

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:16 pm

Professor So And So wrote:

Well, more STDs. Wink

Yeah, baiting can be pricey for me, but it's cheaper than most other entertainment options in Hawaii. Nothing like hearing a lad reduced to tears.

Lad's Safari Costs: $100/day and increasing..

Phone bill: $15,-

Fun: priceless...

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Oh my goodness. Babyj4y sent the following to the lads:

Quote:

Thank you reverends for your quick response. I went to submit your order today, and I realized that I forgot to ask you a couple of questions. Please bear with me, as hopefully this will be taken care of quickly.

1) What material do you want the clothing made out of? In the past we have used silk, however many of the reverends commented that silk pants made it difficult to sit, and requested another fabric. We used cotton for awhile, and we can have your garments made out of cotton, but you need to realize that there will be some shrinkage involved in the clothing when washed, and we should probably increase the size. Rayon is a new material that we have also been using as of late, with great results I might add. The reverends have commented that it is easy to wash and take care of, and the clothes tend not to shrink as much when washed. Let me know which of those materials you prefer, or if you prefer another material I can see if we can accomodate you.

2) On your sacred trousers do you want the fly to be button, zip or velcro? Many of our reverends absolutely love the velcro.

3) What is your shoe size? I need to know this so I can also include TWAT slippers with your clothing. The slippers tend to run large.

Please be advised that I will be sending each of you three articles of clothing. The care and maintenance of this clothing is your responsibility. You must keep the clothing nice, as we don't want ragged looking TWATs out preaching our message of the lord.

Again, I apologize for not getting this information from you sooner. Please respond as quickly as possible and I will get the order placed.

Secretary Melinda B4byjay

The lads responded:

Quote:

Dear Secretary Melinda Babyj4y ,

(1) Our chioce of Cloths is Rayon.

(2) Our sacrad trousers should be velcro.

(3) Our shoe sizes are: For Rev. Miracle Ch4rles Ndubuisi is size: 42 while that of Rev. Andr3w Ezekiel Omezi is size: 43

We appreciate all.

Sincerely yours,

Rev.Miracle Ch4rles Ndubu1si and Rev.Andrew Ez3kiel Omezi

A couple of things:

1) They want a velcro zipper? Very Happy

2) Shoe sizes of 42 and 43? Are we baiting a Sideshow Bob here? Am I missing something with the shoe sizes? In my part of the world I wear a size 8 1/2. Some of the bigger basketball players have to get special shoes made for them, usually around size 20 or so. These guys are a 42 and 43. :yikes:

I'm guessing that the shoe sizing in Africa is somewhat different than the shoe sizing in the States.

3) I love how they called it the "sacrad trousers." Laughing

4) What happened to the "TWAT" in their signature? I'm afraid just calling themselves "Reverends" is simply not enough.

edit - Apparently the sizes given are European sizes, as a few of you have mentioned below. Too bad that Melinda doesn't know about the European size thingie. She only knows American shoe sizes. Take a gander as to what their beautiful TWAT shoes, size 42 American, are going to look like.

Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 2:08 pm

^^^^

Jayhawk wrote:

2) Shoe sizes of 42 and 43? Are we baiting a Sideshow Bob here? Am I missing something with the shoe sizes? In my part of the world I wear a size 8 1/2. Some of the bigger basketball players have to get special shoes made for them, usually around size 20 or so. These guys are a 42 and 43. :yikes: I'm guessing that the shoe sizing in Africa is somewhat different than the shoe sizing in the States.

These are European sizes!
I personnaly wear 46!
This is great (I'm 1m93 tall...) but 42/43 are usual for men Very Happy

BTW, I'm astonished they answer to all those details Laughing

Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 2:10 pm

Probably Euro sizes?
American size 9 is euro 42
American size 10 is euro 43

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