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Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 4:08 am

I'm going to see if they have an albino zebra. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 4:10 am

^^^ Maybe she'll send yah the ones that were mistakenly lined up for me.

EDIT: to add her reply, I asked her to describe my cephies since we were delayed due to the closed offices ... I just about DIED laughing!!!

Quote:

There are very find health wise ok. You can not register any life thing at the Airport without the Airport Doctor cross checking them ok They are matured and very nice for the eyes of any Cephalopods lover.i dop not know how i can tell you about their size ok but they are really matured and big in size ok. Never worried about them ok i think in less than two days, you will have them in your hands ok.They like to crowl on a very clean floor. Please make sure to get a normal temperature place or floor where you can allow them at time to feel free and enjoy themselfs ok.

Squid-type critters like to crowl on floors?! Shocked

Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:46 am

Maybe the Northern Tree Squid (or whatever) has evolved a ground-dwelling variant!

Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:30 am

Sounds good to me, don't want to mess up the delivery of your valuable animals Wink

meanwhile mine are languishing at the airport oh dear, it's too late to go to WU, there's another weekend gone...

Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:47 am

She's back and she's cross

Quote:

Please i was so upset when i was told that you did not send any money, Please you must know that you are dealing with an Organization, so you do not haver to toil around with people like that.

I'm in trouble now, not the Organisation

Quote:

I never knew you could behave that poor. How can you asked people to go and get money for your own sake when you did not send any monies? Are you aware that you are making the whole organization to have a bad page about you?

Yes I have been very very bad. Please send the zebra.

Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 11:26 am

ParaNoid and I have been having a little luck with kelly.
I wrote

Quote:

Here are the MCTN Nos. they gave me at western union. I guess thats what you need, I have never used it before. its in 5 transfer of $3000.00 each. thats the most they would let me do at one time.I scanned the slips and have it attached as a file.

kelly wrote

Quote:

I will like you to send me the Full Senders Names, The receipt you send is totally invisible ok.The 10 digit MTCN control Number,and the Test Question ans Answer you used in filling the Western Union Receipt with because i have tried to download it with my PC and it is not going. I will be waiting for it ok.Did you send the money to the new address i gave you?

OOPS I guess I used the invisible scanner ink by mistake. Laughing

Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 12:18 pm

Well that didn't take long. I resent with another renamed DLL and in only a couple minutes I get...

Quote:

Fortunately enough, you sent me a mail while i was on my pc.Please
the receipt can not enlarge on my pc so i am seeing absolutely nothing
ok, can you send me the 10 digit control number and the senders names
because those are the two things lacking in the mail you send.I want
them to leave with the next available flight ok.Waiting.

so I respond with...

Quote:

are you using windows XP or windows Vista or mac?

time to blame the computer. Laughing

Two mins later

Quote:

Windows xp Waiting

and two Min. after that...

Quote:

Please did you use Western Union or money gram? If Western Union,Send
the 10 digit control number (mtcn). Will be waiting. I think it is
stressful scanning the receipt ok, just send the mtcn ok. waiting.

Oh Oh I think I hear a phone ringing...why yes Its my brother Randall. there is a problem at the zoo. the MCTN no. will have to wait. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 5:06 pm

Awww, too bad so sad, seems there were issues for me getting to the office this morning. Let's see how she takes this sob story:

Quote:

I went to make the payment for the vaccine this morning as we had arranged. But on the way to the office I was pulled over by police and held there quite some time over having a fish-eye-lense out on my truck. I argued with the officer for nearly hour on the side of the road, insisting I had a timely payment to make before a deadline to get a shipment out. He refused to listen and I was taken in under cardiac arrest for questioning. It took hours and hours more for me to finally get the whole thing settled out, they made me pay a $600 fine! $600!!! For a fricken fish-eye-lense! Can you believe it? It was practically every penny in my pocket at the time! I ran back home to get more cash, and I mean 'ran' as they still have my vehicle pounded, and ran back to the office to do the transfer, but missed them by 10 minutes!

I'm so sorry, Kelly! All I can do is try again on Monday when the offices reopen.
A rather miffy,
Baiter Name

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Sep 2004 Posts: 209

Kelly's not very happy with me today either. Somehow I don't think I'll be getting my dinos anytime soon.

I accidentally sent her

Quote:

A copy of the MoneyGram form is attached. Sorry it's a bit crumpled, but it blew off my desk and one of my new B walkeri had a chew on it, I'm sure you know what they're like when they're teething.

Now, I had intended that MoneyGram form to go to a entirely different animal dealer in Nigeria Wink

so it's just as well she couldn't read it. I explained that she'd been s o s l o w with the paperwork that I thought she wasn't interested in our deal any more and so I went elsewhere for my critters. That's a 10% ($3000) deposit she's just lost.

It seems my character 'fessed up about the ASEM cock-up to the guy in Nigeria though. Now NG thinks Kelly is trying to muscle in on the scam he has going. NG has put a lot of effort into ensuring my character travels to Lagos in July to collect various critters and pay the remaining fees. He certainly doesn't want some two-bit puppy scammer wrecking his plan.

I must go and look up some good guyman insults... something involving Kelly's mother and a goat would be nice, I think Twisted Evil

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Sep 2004 Posts: 209

Bah, a double post.
Can a mod sort it out please?
Thanks,
SG

Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 11:21 pm

Squeaky toy two is a live one! Yay! I've been convinced to get my critters from him instead of Squeaky Toy one ... of course, I have not told one I am doing that yet. Twisted Evil

Now the REAL fun begins, especially since if Kelly paid attention she'd realize that she never received the first payment at all. Somehow in the confusion I'd convinced her she has it ... looks like perhaps squeaky toy two chopped the dollar! Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 6:49 pm

Aha! Kelly goes quiet with me, as she always has on the weekend. But the disruptor takes off! My goodness, he has already sent my cephies and I should get them this afternoon at 4:30 ... nothing special in this email, not worth the quote. But also *sniffle* no paperwork, no prof of sending! Remember: I did not have to pay until I get my animals, so where's the catch? Waiting in my Spam box (ahem, which I'll never see Wink

, but will post here for laughs sake!)

Quote:

AIR FRANCE,
CHARLES DE GUALLE
FRENCH CUSOM.
<removed generic crappy graphic of blue skies>
AIR ANIMAL PET MOVERS SERVICES INTL
BRANCH (IRELAND)
<removed two graphics of age of agency 30 years, and picture of Collie with woman smiling>

MADAM ET MONEIEUR,
BONJOUR,
WE JUST WANT TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR THAT TOOK TRANSIT AT OUR AIRPORT HAS BEEN HELD AT THE FRENCH AIRPORT BY THE FRENCH CUSTOM BECAUSE OF A REFUNDABLE INSURANCE OF $3800 USD WHICH WAS SUPPOSE TO BE PAY AT THE INSURANCE COMPANY AT THE CAMEROON-DOUALA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT. IN ACCORDANCE OF ARTICLE 6 OF THE MINISTRY OF LIVE STOCK,EMPOUNDED IN 2006, THIS INSURNACE COVER THE SECURITY OF THE .BECAUSE OF THEIR PERISHABILITY AND WILL BE REFUNDED TO YOU ON DELIVERY OF THE AT YOUR HOME. FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH THIS DECISION, THE . WILL BE QUARANTINE FOR TWO WEEKS FOLLOWING LAW 02/67/09/56 OF THE FRENCH CUSTOM AND PREFERABLE HATCH AT OUR AIRPORT. PLEASE USE THE ADDRESS BELOW TO MAKE THE PAYMENTS.
WESTERN NUNION.
COUNTRY...........................CAMEROON.

CODE.................................00237.

CITY...................................DOUALA...

AMOUNT.............................$3800..

NAMES................................MR. JUD3 AMB3 ND0NWI.

TEST QUESTION....................WHO.

ANSWER................................JUDE.

COPY THE ADDRESS AND MOVE TO THE CLOSEST WESTERN UNION STORE AND DO THE PAYMENT. WHEN YOU MAKE THE PAYMENTS, PLEASE GET BACK WITH THE DETAILS OF PAYMENTS SUCH AS THE MTCN(MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL NUMBER AND OTHER DETAILS SUCH AS THE SENDER FULL NAMES TO THE INSURANCE DEPARTMENTS AT THE CAMEROON- DOUALA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT VIA ([email protected]) WE WILL ONLY PROCEED WITH THE SHIPPING TO THE FOLLOWING ONLY WHEN WE RECEIVE A FAX INSURANCE DOCUMENTS FROM THE INSURANCE DEPARTMENT, CONFIRMING THAT THE INSURANCE IS PAID.
JEAN

Hrm, interesting, this fellow is not in Nairobi, but is in Cameroon instead. Interesting. I love the scattering of countries up there and the <insert species here> form letter. Are we surprised that there is a hangup at the airport? Nope, not at all. Very Happy

And indeed, it does appear that the amount of de-education of this lad is to quite a degree. This should be fun!!!

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:31 am

Spells as poorly in French as in English... Very Happy

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:54 am

Yup, he's been a FUN squeaky toy for me today, I posted the three day exploit Here as he overran his own modality ... it was pointless to send that huge form because he pretty muchly ruined all chances of it working by getting impatient. Very Happy

After all ... if he never sent them from Cameroon how can they be caught up in a foreign customs agency? Laughing

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:57 am

haha I got photos!

i'm not gonna bother posting them but kelly has obviously been busy surfing google images, he/she sent one of a zebra on an operating table, (slap for putting him to sleep, everyone knows you need a wide awake zebra with some black beauty porn on in the back ground for semen collection) also got a pic from some company web page of frozen semen storage jars, and another of someone basically jerking off a horse for semen collection, massive slap- not tricking me with no common horse gizz - response, no no thats just to show we breed many animals.

haha good luck surfing the web for a photo of zebra semen collection Very Happy

but its worth a mythical $3000 if you find one so off you go kelly......

well at least i used up some of his time

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:12 am

^^^ I just love the idea that somewere in an internet cafe in Africa there is a mugu typing in "horse" + "semen" into Google images and getting some eye-watering pictures back - just as his mates wander past and say "You surfing for goat porn again Joseph?" Laughing

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 21 Jun 2008 Posts: 4

I've just mailed them asking if they have any 'Lesser Spotted Fuckpigs' for sale Question

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:19 pm

Kelly is on google chat right now, and at this moment furiously looking for a picture of a man jacking off a zebra

Quote:

me: hi
kelly: hello
Sent at 14:05 on Monday
me: sorry about this level of detail but my company has been conned before so we have to be sure who we are dealing with
i will lose my job if I make another bad purchase
hence why i need proof before sending the money
kelly: you are right,it is very good to take your time ok
we can never do that
but why do you think we will give a different semen from what you want
me: Kelly, i really don't want to offend you and it is not a judgement on you, just we had identical discussions with a group in ghana last year
they sold us donkey semen and told us it was zebra
they seemed like nice honest people
but then disappeared when we tried to complain
kelly: we are even trying to see that we will remain the main supplier of semen to you people ok that is why we have to make sure that our first suppy be a very good one ok
i am really very sorry about that i we can not even think of doping that ok
me: I understand, my boss told me i can not pay without a photo of the actual collection though
kelly: but i send it did'nt i?
i can not fail you ok
you just have to trust me ok
me: you sent one of a collection from a horse
and a zebra on a vet table
Sent at 14:12 on Monday
kelly: yes, i rightly told you that i send that of horse with it because we another command in uk of a horse and even a monkey
Sent at 14:14 on Monday
me: well please don't be offended but we cannot pay until we have a photo of the zebra collection, but we will arrange shipping and payment the same day.
Sent at 14:15 on Monday
kelly: that is not a problem ok so what then do you want me to do because i took about three pictures that day
me: I have to go and tend to the animals, but please try to get the photo, I hope this can be the start of a good business relationship
I want you to get a photo of the zebra semen collection as proof,
kelly: the semen are presently in our custody
left to me, this whole think could have been through
no problem ok
me: great, I look forward to doing business with you
have a great day
kelly: i am a sincere woman and i have never failed any one in business and i pray that God should continue to bless me with thesame sperit
me: I am too a child of the holy jesus and trust in gods blessings
I must go now
have a good day
kelly: please i will send it in a few minutes time, make sure to send the money asap because we do not want to continue keeping the semen ok\
have a lovely day too dear
i will be waiting to read from you asap ok

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 7:32 pm

Ok, so I was replying to my pet-peddling pets (Kelly included through my tavern owner and her squid-deal stealer) when I suddenly see my gmail header flashing with kelly's ID on it. For the moment I was boggled! How did she find that account! So, I played ignorant in the messenger for a bit while I searched my sent box, and low and behold found an email I forgot about! Very Happy

Kelly never picked up on the June 7th email offer. Just NOW she tried to pull a mid-mod on me. <snicker> BTW, this is baiter char #three on her!

Quote:

kellymiler001: hello
Sent at 1:48 PM on Monday
me: Hello? Who is this?
kellymiler001: i am kelly
me: Well, I kinda guessed that from your nick. I usually don't get messages like this.
kellymiler001: can you email me
me: Well, yeah, I could ... is there a reason?
kellymiler001: hello
me: Yes? I am here.
kellymiler001: can we proceed with the delivery
me: What delivery?
kellymiler001: hello
me: Are you alright?
me: What delivery do you speak of? I work for a wildlife mag.
kellymiler001: we have been waiting for this long as it is the delivery of your zebra ok.have you send the money please if so then get back to me with the right mtcn because all of this ones are not working.
kellymiler001: hello
me: Hold on. Zebra, zebra, OH! I must have contacted you about the photo op for the front cover for '' The offer for $22,000.00 payment for the high quality photos of Nubian Zebras strutting it's stuff. Unfortunately, the deadline for the premier mag was the 15th. But we were unable to get the picture we needed, so our head has decided to rerun the cover. Are you interested in entering?
me: Are you still interested?
kellymiler001: can you email me
me: I will update the email I sent you last time with all the details. Please get back to me from there.

Oh Kelly ... are we getting des-par-ate?! Let's redangle that big deal!

Here's the updated email I sent her, very little has changed from the original.

Quote:

Good afternoon!

My name is 3n Fu3g0, I'm the visual editor with a brand new up and coming magazine called '!' A magazine with a focus on the fantastic species on our planet. Our next issue we're hoping to feature a stunning photo of a Zebra with the theme "Stripes are the new Black!" rather like a fashion fad lingo. One of my associates came across your advertisement for adopting animals and we were thrilled to see you have cute zebras on hand! And you recently contacted me through the messenger. Thank you.

We're ready to offer the going rate for cover photography for the first person to supply us with a stunning authentic photo of Nubian Zebra strutting its stuff. In fact, more than one would be perfect! Since we're a little on the wild side, if you wouldn't mind using some eco-safe food coloring and rainbow hue the white patches, a clear shot that prints out at eight by eleven inches at 200 dpi, would win the cover shot.

A successful picture will earn you $22,000.00 no royalties, or the option of $13,000.00 with a 10% royalty per issue sold including reprints. I sincerely hope you are interested in this! Finding people who can get so close to these amazing animals is rather difficult these days and we are finding it impossible to find the perfect cover shot. Our head has a vision she refused to deviate from. If we can have the completed picture emailed back to me by the the fifteenth of July I will enter the submission into the running for the cover shot!

Good luck with our stripey friends! Hope to hear from you soon!

Will she bite? Looks like perhaps! Back to chat minutes later!:

Quote:

kellymiler001: hello
are you there
me: Yes. I am still here.
Sent at 2:23 PM on Monday
kellymiler001: can we proceed with the delivery
me: You already have the photos for submission we need? EXCELLENT!!!!
kellymiler001: yes
me: WOW! That was FAST!
I cannot WAIT to the head that her rainbow hued high quality photos are ready!
Email back to my address. They'll be entered into the submission entry file. If they are chosen then we will contact you for the delivery of the $22,000.
kellymiler001: ok we will give an email
me: I cannot wait to see them!

I have to confess, I'm getting a fetish for making pet-peddlar pets turn tricks like running in circles! It's almost too easy!

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 7:34 pm

Kelly has discovered Google chat. she's contacted me also..

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 7:37 pm

That MAY have been her gravest error yet. Twisted Evil

I used to be a MUCKer and can carry on several IC conversations silmul. Wink

Which means I can be Harvey over in Yahoo at the same time!

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:00 pm

First, as far as I know, anyone that could be called my girlfriend has no clue what Cameroon jewelry is.

Second, I spent way too much time on this lad. Talk about a boring personality.

Quote:

me: Hi there
kelly: hello
me: I want to know about my zebras
kelly: what informations will u want to know about my dear
me: Are these Swahili zebras or Arkansan zebras?
kelly: both
me: Are the Arkansan zebras more expensive?
kelly: their price is not really to different ok
me: How old are these zebras?
kelly: there are of different ages ok
me: Do you have an 18 year old zebra with a reverse stripe pattern?
kelly: yes we do but it is a little expensive
me: How much?
kelly: we can give you the price depending on the numbers you want ok
how many can you buy
me: I would like only 1 zebra
kelly: we can give you for 2550 including all paper works and delivery fee ok
me: Where are these zebras shipping from?
kelly: don't u know where our organization is?
i thought you knew every thing
they will have to be shipped from Cameroon
me: Have they been registered by the Umbrella Corporation?
kelly: ya
there are all registered
me: Do you have the 5-digit registration number handy?
It starts with a "U" I think
kelly: you know there are diffent depending on your location or country
can i have your contact number?
me: Yes, 555-1212
Can I have your contact number as well?
kelly: where are you located
i need to know your country ok
me: In Cajun, Louisiana
kelly: is that in the us
me: USA, yes
Where are you located?
kelly: in cameroon sir
can i give you a call
me: And your name's Kelly?
Yes, my cell phone's battery is getting a bit low though.
kelly: yes of cours
me: I dropped it yesterday and it's not working well.
I'm thinking about switching over to Verizon anyway.
What kind of cell phone service do you have in Cameroon?
kelly: you sound some how
me: I sound some how what?
kelly: just give me a number that i can reac u on ok
me: Did you try the 555-1212 number? I didn't hear it ring.
kelly: yes i did but the told me that it is not a usa number
me: Dial a 1 and then my area code, 501
That should get it!
kelly: ok i will try
so when will you need it and how many should we reserve for you?
me: Please reserve 1 zebra, and I will need it by August 1st.
If that number doesn't work please try this number: 00226 76 26 70 58
That is my office line
kelly: u should have wait till augus before you apply for one ok
me: I am ready to pay now though
kelly: why do you want it but during august
me: Can you get me the zebra by July 1st?
kelly: yes we can have it shipped to you any time that you pay your deposite fee ok
me: Well, my fences are not completely finished yet
But I think I can get them done sooner
kelly: it is very neccessary for you to pay your deposite and we reserve it for you and any time you want it shipped, we will ship it
then it is advisable you pay your deposite so that one can be reserve for you ok
me: Do you think you could do a favor as well?
My girlfriend likes Cameroon jewelry. Could you also ship me some stuff?
She really likes authentic, native stuff like that.
I would pay right now for them
kelly: i do not sell jelries my friend
how does she know that cameroon jelries are good
me: she is smart

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:39 pm

Quote:

do not e-mail again if you are ready to pay the money .we big to be toiled around with
good day

Huh?! What? Does that mean I SHOULD email if I'm NOT ready to pay?

Posted: Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:51 pm

Oh my,Kelly seems angry with me

Quote:

You better be serious for once. why can a responsible man like you be behaving like that?I went to the Western Union after you send me the receipt but they told me that you have not send any money. Be serious for once ok. Look if you are not serious don't just bother to write me because i will not reply. The only thing i need most importantly is your contact number ok. Do not email me back if you are not sending your contact number ok

It would seem there was a problem with the WU transfer I sent her.No Norwegian Blue Parrot for me!
But all is not lost,J0hn H0lmes has been in the hospital for a few weeks now,and he just e mailed Kelly about the Monty Python she had to sell.She expressed concern for his health,and assured him she indeed still has the snake.Perhaps she would prefer a moneygram this time Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 07 Sep 2004 Posts: 209

Nah,

Kelly doesn't like MoneyGrams , particularly not chewed up ones she can't read followed by emails from strangers reading

Quote:

U DEY HEAR ME U FOOL...(my characters name)... MUGU U CHOP DAT DOLLA WE GO WEAR DI SAME TROUSA OK DEM NO BORN U REACH OK MAKE U WISE IF U NO WISE GOD GO PUNISH U OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

She now needs to speak to me urgently.
I wonder why?

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