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duke_bruin
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 77
Location: At the center of it all
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 Posted:
Wed May 07, 2008 7:19 pm |
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I have now received a total of three jokes from . They've gotten progressively funnier so I thought I'd start posting them here for your amusement.
Feel free to share them with your lads. Jokes are great rapport builders.
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| One hausa man dey die one day, he call him son say take this keys na for five lorrey heads and also i leave for you 100 cattles. and he died.***** an igbo man was dying, he called his son and said take this keys na to my shops in idumota and iweka road, please take stock and let me know if my sales girl took anything before i die. he died.****** a benin man was dying, he called his son, son, silver and gold i have any but what i have i will give you. take this email box and password.. please check am if control don enter make i for fit remove am before i die. |
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| CONDOM said to PAD, you are so wicked that u starved me for a whole week, shot up Mr CONDOM, the other time u made mistake, u made me lost my job for a whole nine months. |
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| A Nursery 1 student in a danfo bus in Lagos, Nigeria from school was reciting the day's lesson at school, It went thus: If my father is a cock and my mother a hen, I will be a chick. If my father is a lion and my mother a lioness, I will be a cub. If my father is a king and my mother a queen, I will be a prince etc, etc. The bus driver was irritated by the boys 'noise'; he shouted at the boy asking him to shut up. But the boy continued. Then the driver shouted; what if your father is an 'armed robber' and your mother an 'ashewo' (prostitute), what will you be? The boy replied; I will be a 'Danfo Driver' |
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_________________
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc
  
Okay,what can i do so that all will be well.im ready to do all what you says. ~P4STOR~
guy you dey fuck up ok ~Faith Si@ko~
Please note the correct spelling of my name: ABANA and not BANANA. ~Mr. Manual Banana~
Point of correction, the correct spelling of my name is ABANA and not Banana ~Mr. Manual Banana, again!~ |
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numbskull303
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 05 Jan 2008
Posts: 35
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| Posted:
Wed May 07, 2008 8:51 pm |
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Wow, a lad actually trying to be funny. How odd. |
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Nailgunner
Baiting Guru
Joined: 01 May 2008
Posts: 8727
Location: ̢̝̣̳̗ͅş̱̖̹͉̬̣̖h̷̗͉̘̱͍̗ͅr͉̙̖̥͡_̛i̦̞n̷͉͈̺̪̯̹E̸͎̫̭̞̙ͅ
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Wed May 07, 2008 9:12 pm |
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The jokes seem oddly familiar, yet not so. hmm |
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ChainYanker
Collecting TShirts the Hard Way
Joined: 02 Dec 2007
Posts: 1497
Location: Shouting "Fire!" in crowded theaters across America
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| Posted:
Wed May 07, 2008 10:22 pm |
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What was the punchline to the first one, again? 
These jokes are hilarious, but not for the reason your lad thinks.  |
_________________
  x3 
FEMALE
"This deal does not have anything to do with religion because we are talking about $10.150 million us dollars" -Bangu Mali
"YOUR DEATH IS AT HAND HENCE YOU LEARNT HOW TO DOUBLE CROSS OTHER GUYMAN KEEP IT ON AND WATCH OUT" -Don Jack
"why is it that you dont believed that the unicorn is avaialabe" -Victoria Smith
"i have seen that you are not financially capable to handle this great opportunity maturedly" -Muhammad Bla1se
Earned a pony, earned a bun, still not sure what they mean -->   |
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419weasel
Baiting Guru
Joined: 26 Jan 2006
Posts: 4207
Location: Somewhere in a hole. Waiting.
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Thu May 08, 2008 7:18 am |
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rumbero
Baiting Guru
Joined: 06 Jun 2006
Posts: 3677
Location: All the Salsa Night Clubs
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| Posted:
Thu May 08, 2008 7:47 am |
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LOL I liked the bus driver joke |
_________________
 Lagos to Tamale. Rev. Frank Lagos to Abuja
Lagos to Abuja Pr1nc3 F@w@z
Ghana to Benin's Simba Camp Joe C@rlton
Lagos to Ghana Opus Dei Templar
Nukuru to Mombasa 1,500 kms van donation
Co bait with SlowFreddy Sao Tome island to Gabon Lagos to Abuja Co, donation
YOUR WIFE WILL GIVE BIRTH TO A MONKEY, YOU ARE GOING TO SUFFER FROM EPILEPTIC,
LET YOUR MOTHER FUCK YOUR BEST FRIEND. LET YOUR FATHER FUCK A MAD STREET WOMAN, USELESS INTERNET FRAUDSTER. (barrister Dan )
I bet u , soon , u will be laying in a close casket ,
will make u understand that i'm a spiritual man (Makinwa the retarded mugu)
in juses name u will dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
( Makinwa) |
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SlapHappy
Baiting Guru
Joined: 15 May 2006
Posts: 9612
Location: Floating up and down with happiness.
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| Posted:
Thu May 08, 2008 12:00 pm |
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I laughed out loud at the last one, too!  |
_________________
 x Reven U., Fats Walla, Donny
 x10 X2 MM:Mikex2, JohnK, D@rlington, Ob1, Armstrong, Ismail, TG&Friend
x3 Nancy, Security Guy, Robert Accra-Tamale
(19 mo.) Tina and Joe's Safari - Accra to Niger & Timbucktu
Z@ke & Charlie -Wulugu Or Bust Safari- Lagos to Paga & Tokwari X2 - 3800mi.
 x3 H3ctor & C@leb - Yankar1 & Parakou
x2 Charles and Friend-Amsterdam to Vatican
Issac to Chad
Be A Cool Cat, Like Me Trophy Videos Cool Stuff
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Connie L. Gus
Moderator
Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 7243
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow
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| Posted:
Thu May 08, 2008 3:12 pm |
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 I could only understand the last one too. The others went right over my head. Maybe if I had a few beers and was there at the comedy club in person I would have gotten them. |
_________________
x8   
LISTEN TO ME WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR ONE OF THOSE CHEAP CROOK OR WHAT -tobi donito
-a few, 
LISTEN I CAN NOT TAKE YOUR SHIT ANY LONGER WE HAVE WHROTE A PETITION AGAINST YOU TO THE FBI WITH ALL OUR EVIDENCE YOU ARE INTO PROSTITUTION,DRUG DEALING, FORGERY, CREDIT CARDS FORGRY WESTEN UNION FALSIFICATION,DRUGING MEN,COMMETING MURDER, STEALING, DRUNCARD, ALL THIS WE HAVE THE EVIDENCE TO PROOF OUR CASE AGAINST YOU.-Johnson Hill
I am not finding it any funny...Henry A., Lagos, Nigeria to Cotonou, Benin, WIMPed
I am stranderd. Henry A. Lagos to Accra, WIMPed for 67 days.
* Help Keep Eater Running - Click here to donate |
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vaultdweller
Master Baiter
Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Posts: 211
Location: Vault 69
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| Posted:
Thu May 08, 2008 4:31 pm |
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First Joke: F-- SEE ME AFTER CLASS
Second Joke: Meh
Third Joke: Mugutastic! |
_________________
I have written Han because at Russian people so name beloveds. This word is meant by the leader. Also associates with force, courage, riches. Han this historical name of the man. Now I cannot write the big letter as I do not have money to the Internet. - N@t@ly@
'you most be a fool mother f*****' 'am not in a good mud now' 'i dont need can of man like you' -b3cky t|mmy
''lol ur my kid of huy will like too f*** u till u come - luvdoc
'yahoozeeeeeeeeeeeee' : secret word FOR SCAMMERS ONLY! |
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chevyk10darlin
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 04 Mar 2008
Posts: 318
Location: Texas baby!
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Thu May 08, 2008 4:37 pm |
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can't wait for more duke! |
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duke_bruin
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 29 Mar 2008
Posts: 77
Location: At the center of it all
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| Posted:
Fri May 16, 2008 9:00 pm |
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This one is more lad spam than joke but I thought it funny all the same.
| Quote: |
| WHY DO WE SLEEP IN CHURCH DURING SERMON? BUT YET WHEN THE SERMON IS OVER WE SUDDENLY WAKE UP?, WHY IS IT SO HARD TO TALK ABOUT GOD… BUT SO EASY TO TALK ABOUT SEX?, WHY ARE WE SO BORED TO LOOK AT CHRISTIAN MAGAZINE… BUT SO EASY TO READ A PLAYBOY MAGAZINE?, WHY IS IT SO EASY TO DELETE A GODLY OFFLINE MESSAGES… YET WE FORWARD THE NASTY ONES? WHY ARE CHURCHES GETTING SMALLER… BUT YET BARS AND CLUBS ARE GROWING??….. THINK ABOUT IT… ARE YOU GOING TO FORWARD THIS OR DELETE MESSAGE? JUST REMEMBER GOD IS WATCHING YOU IF U LOVE JESUS THEN SEND THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE ON UR LIST, U WILL GET MUCH BLESSINGS ON UR DAILY ACTIVITIES. DON’T BREAK THE FLOW!!! JESUS LOVES YOU. |
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_________________
Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc
Okay,what can i do so that all will be well.im ready to do all what you says. ~P4STOR~
guy you dey fuck up ok ~Faith Si@ko~
Please note the correct spelling of my name: ABANA and not BANANA. ~Mr. Manual Banana~
Point of correction, the correct spelling of my name is ABANA and not Banana ~Mr. Manual Banana, again!~ |
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Mugatu
** Retired **
Joined: 13 May 2007
Posts: 3773
Location: The star of India
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| Posted:
Fri May 16, 2008 10:17 pm |
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From my favourite lad joke resource, nairaland:
Joke 1:
JUDGE: Who do yuu want to be with, Your dad?
CHILD: No
JUDGE:So yuu want to be with your mom?
CHILD:No, she beats me more
JUDGE:So who do yuu want to be with?
CHILD:The super eagles of Nigeria, they never beat anyone.
Joke 2:
A little girl was playing with her playmate which was a boy in the little girl's compound and suddenly she saw some ripe mangoes on the mangoe tree in their compound, she told her mother that she wants to climb and plug the riped mangoes.
Her mother told her not to, that if she do, the little boy will look at her paint under her dress.
Some minutes later, the little girl came back calling to her mother with the ripe mangoes in her hands,
Lil girl: mummy mummy, I've plug the mangoes.
Then her mother replied vehemently,
Mother: didn't I tell you not to climb because that boy down there will look at your paint?
Lil girl: No mummy I pulled off my paint and keep it inside the house before i climb the mangoe. |
_________________
- because you deserve them! x19  
Thinking of using phone modalities? Attend the 419eater university on audio baiting.
"They made me to understand you are a Fraud Star" - Ikenna.
"I like traveling very much, it is so exciting and interesting to see foreign countries. but I have never been to foreign countries." - Marina.
"I will have you now I am highly reputable businness magnet." - Pam Doh
"Sorry,i do not know you are all that: a destitute and nuts" - Ben Chris |
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