Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

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Posted: Thu Apr 17, 2008 7:13 pm

Krona actually contacted me about this. He has a lad that he is working on...

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:37 pm

Hmmmmm... something must not be going well for them.

Quote:

DEAR HAMDAN/ERIC,
DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE IN NDJAMENA? I DONT UNDERSTAND THE MONEY THAT WAS SENT TO ME YOU WITHDRAW IT
IN ABECHE AND YOU ARE SAYING YOU WILL BE OUT FOR ONE OR TWO DAYS
PLEASE COME AND PICK ME FOR GOD SAKE AND CALL ME PLEASE
THANK YOU I AM WAITING
ADAMU

Quote:

SUBJECT: PLEASE ACT FAST BEFORE I DIE HERE IN NDJAMENA PLEASE

DEAR REV BENJAMIN DOVER,
I AM VERY VERY SAD OF MY SITUATION IN NDJAMENA CHAD, YOU SEND A WU TO ME ON TUESDAY AND I DONT KNOW UNTIL WENSDAY WHEN
HAMDAN/ERIC CALL THE PERSON THAT HELP ME HERE IN NDJAMENA THAT I SHOULD GO AND CHECK MY EMAIL
HE GAVE ME MONEY TO CHECK IT AND I FOUND OUT THAT YOU SEND WU TO ME TO TRAVEL TO ABECHE
THEN YESTERDAY THUSDAY I WENT TO THE BANK TO PICK THE MONEY THEY TOLD ME THAT IT IS BLOCK
IN ABECHE BY HAMDAN AND ERIC AND A LADY CALL FROM ABECHE THAT THE MONEY IS BLOCK THAT
I WILL NOT GET IT IN NDJAMENA EXPECT I CAME TO ABECHE.
PLEASE I DONT KNOW WHAT HAMDAN /ERIC ARE DOING FOR THE PAST EIGHTEEN DAYS NOW I ARRIVAL HERE
IN NDJAMENA I HAVE NOT SEEN THEM AND THEY ARE NOT MAKING ANY EFFORT TO COME AND PICK ME
DID THEY WANT ME TO DIE HERE IN NDJAMENA? WITHOUT FOOD AND WATER THIS IS NOT OUR AGREETMENT (Actually, this is everything YW, Prof and myself agreed to)
WE AGREETED THAT ONCE I COME TO NDJAMENA HAMDAN WILL COME AND PICK ME AND I DONT KNOW THAT THE PLACE IS ABECHE.
ALSO REV I DONT KNOW IF HAMDAN/ERIC ARE REALLY CHRISTIAN BROTHER AM MINE NOT GOING TO GET PROBLEM WITH THEM PLEASE
TELL ME BECAUSE THE WAY THEY ARE HANDLING ME IS NOT NORMAL.
PLEASE REV DOVER,AS HAMDAN /ERIC HAVE COLLECTED MY TRANSPORT FARE IN ABECHE HOW ARE MINE GOING TO TRAVEL TO ABECHE WITHOUT
MONEY I TRY MY BEST TO NEGOTIAL A VEHICLE HERE BUT THEY REFUSE EXPECT I PAID THEM MONEY
IF NOT THEY WILL NOT HELP ME OUT.
PLEASE REV DOVER, LOOK AT WHAT HAMDAN/ERIC SEND TO ME ON 13 APRIL2008

We are so happy to hear from you. I am glad to see that you are going to go to Abeche. Once you get there, you will be able to pick up your Western Union transfer. Remember, that can only be picked up in Abeche. We had it sent there, as we thought you were already on the road. It cannot be picked up in Ndjamena. It is only to be picked up in Abeche.
THIS IS THE ONE THEY SEND YESTERDAY

Adamu,

I understand that there is a problem getting the money that was sent to you from the United States. I called the Western Union customer service center and asked them if the money could be sent somewhere else instead.

They sent me this email. I am not sure how this works exactly. I have never used it before but it sounds quite easy.

I hope this helps.
Eric
p.s. Since you are not in Abeche yet, Hamdan and I will be gone for about a day, maybe two.

Note: forwarded message attached.---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Western Union <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Date: Wed, 16 Apr 2008 09:15:42 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Diverting a Secure Services cash transfer

THIS IS AN AUTOMATED MESSAGE. DO NOT REPLY.

Dear Western Union Customer,

In order to change the pick-up location for a Western Union Secure Services transfer, you will need to change the receiving bank information using the attached application. You will need the following information.

1. The receiving banks name.
2. The receiving banks address.
3. The receiving banks routing number.
4. The receiving banks swift code.

You will not need to have an account at the receiving bank.

Thank you for choosing Western Union.

IF YOU READ IT VERY WELL HAMDAN REQUEST FOR DIVERING A SECURE SERVICES CASH TRANSFER Laughing

YOU WILL SEE THE SUBJECT PLEASE REV DOVER I AM DYING HERE IN NDJAMENA MY FAMILY ARE NOT OKAY SINCE THIS ALMOST THREE WEEKS I AM OUT FROM NIGERIA TO CHAD.
PLEASE USE YOU POSITION AND ACT FAST TELL THEM TO KEEP ALL THAT BELONG TO ME AND MAKE SURE THAT I WILL BE SECURED IN ABECHE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR MUTUAL COOPERATION AND GOD BLESS YOU AMEN
ADAMU LAWAL

I just cannot imagine what is so rough about Chad. I mean, I checked the weather. Yesterday was only 105, as opposed to Wednesday's 108. I would love to know what these TWATs do all day. I mean, they must just be bored to tears.

I love how he still thanks us every time for our "cooperation". He thinks this is cooperation? He'd probably blow me if I told him that I was sending someone to help. Too bad that isn't happening.

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:46 pm

Quote:

SINCE THIS ALMOST THREE WEEKS I AM OUT FROM NIGERIA TO CHAD.

Anyone want to lay odds on three more weeks?!?

Fantastic bait guys!

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 1:17 pm

This guy is really starting to annoy me. What the hell is the big deal? Just get your ass to Abeche! All the money you need to pay everyone back is there waiting for you, idiot.

We have given this guy every imaginable (and imaginary) kind of proof that there is about the money. At some point, I would imagine that the guy he is sponging off of will finally grow tired of seeing the lads smelly ass parked on his sofa and toss him out.

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 1:44 pm

YeaWhatever wrote:

At some point, I would imagine that the guy he is sponging off of will finally grow tired of seeing the lads smelly ass parked on his sofa and toss him out.

We can always suggest that when we talk to him. Laughing

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 1:45 pm

jojobean wrote:

He'd probably blow me if I told him that I was sending someone to help. Too bad that isn't happening.

too bad which part isn't happening? Shocked

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 7:02 pm

Quote:

He has a lad that he is working on...

My lad made it safely from Abidjan to Abuja. I haven't been able to give him the proper attention since I've been off on a business trip, though, and he emailed me this morning telling me he was heading home. I'm trying to stop that, but he's not answering his phone or email right now. Hopefully he's still in Abuja at the moment - if so, I'll see if I can point him in your direction.

I'll publish this bait when I get home. My lad has apparently had a miserable time traveling to Abuja while I've been off dining and drinking on the company tab in Philadelphia and playing poker in Atlantic City. Gosh, I feel bad about that.

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 7:18 pm

I sense a 'dead threat' in your future Very Happy

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 7:56 pm

I think this line is definite sig material:

TELL ME BECAUSE THE WAY THEY ARE HANDLING ME IS NOT NORMAL.

(Considering it's been a while since stinky had a bath, what else can he expect?)

Brilliant bait, ya'll!

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 9:05 pm

He seems like he's getting a little frustrated for some reason. It's really hard reading e-mails like that when we have bent over backwards trying to make sure these guys are safe and have some money in their pockets (not sure if the robe even has pockets though). We bent church policy to send them money through WU Secure, and he questions our loyalties to him. It's so sad that things like this can happen. I guess I should call him tonight and talk about all of this.

I think it might also be time for Rev Phystme to start having some doubts about his ability to lead a new ministry. I'm sure Rev Dover will stick up for him though, and buy him another week or so to prove himself and make it to Abeche. I'm not even sure why he's complaining. He must be losing faith in the lord's plan, and that's not a good thing at all. The lord works in very mysterious ways.

Posted: Fri Apr 18, 2008 9:43 pm

^^^

Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 9:22 am

Broken-Record Mugu wrote:

DEAR HAMDAN/ERIC,
THIS IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR MESSAGE,THE CONTENTS OF YOUR MAIL IS WELL UNDERSTOOD.
WELL I HAVE NOTED YOUR IDEAL BUT I AM STILL FINDING DIFFICULT HERE BECAUSE THE DRIVER HERE SAY THAT I SHOULD PAY THEM HALF OF THE MONEY BEFORE THEY CAN CARRY AND MY BROTHER TO ABECHE.
THE PROBLEM I AM HAVING HERE IS LANGUAGE BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW TO SPEAK ARABIC AND FRENCH LANGUAGE. ALL THE SAME I AM TRYING MY BEST POSSIBLE AND I KNOW THAT GOD WILL SEE ME THROUGH.
PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU PEOPLE STAT AROUND PLEASE.
LET ME GO BACK TO NEGOTATE AGAIN PLEASE TRY AND CALL ME PLEASE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR MUTUAL COOPERATION AND GOD BLESS YOU.

Hoping to get a call in soon. It's too weird with people in the house. Smile

Edit: Well, no call is being placed tonight, so they just got this instead:

Quote:

Thank you for the quick reply. I'm sorry that I haven't called yet, but we're back in Adre right now working with the sick children and unfortunately the phone service here is absolutely terrible. We should be back in Abeche by Monday morning at the very latest, but we're really hoping to be there on Sunday. Please don't worry about us leaving anytime soon. Along with the work we're doing here for the children, we're tasked with the very important work of meeting with you and passing on the money and goods that you'll require to start your church for the TWAT in Nigeria. This is VERY important to both Reverend Phystme and Reverend Dover, but unfortunately we're dealing with so much here right now. You must try your ABSOLUTE BEST to find a driver that will take you to Abeche to meet with us. Please take him to the internet cafe show him the secure transfer receipt that tells where (Abeche in this case) the $3000 dollars must be received by you.

It's a shame that you told us you were moving to Abeche before. That's why we had the accounting office send you the money to Abeche, so that you could pick it up there and pay the driver immediately. Surely there must be someone that will drive you there and take you to pick up the funds. Maybe try offering them $1500 for the ride. It's very important that this case and other goods reach you. Also, you have to do what you can to stay in contact through e-mail. I know it's difficult for you, but as you know, we're facing MANY challenges here as well and without you checking your e-mail, you may miss important updates, and also we need to know what is happening there at all times. Reverend Phystme wants to be updated daily as to the progress we're making.

Please reply immediately and tell me if you've found a driver. Please don't lose faith here. The lord works in mysterious ways, and we can not let this block our vision of his great plan. Stay strong, my brother.

Posted: Sat Apr 19, 2008 11:09 am

This is a good one that just came in to Reverend Dover:

Quote:

DEAR REV BENJAMIN,
BEFORE I PROCEED LET ME FIRST OF ALL APPOLOGISE FOR THE WORDS I USE PLEASE PARDON ME. (day 19 in Chad and HE'S apologizing? Anyone think he's still hooked?) I UNDERSTANDING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TRAVELING FROM ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER TO SPREAD THE GOOD NEWS OF ALMIGHTY GOD.OUR LORD WILL REWARD YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AMEN.I WILL TAKE A PICTURE AS SOON AS I ARRIVAL ABECHE AND SEND IT TO YOU.
FOR THE WEATHER HERE IS VERY HASH I HAVE NOT BEEN IN THIS KIND OF WEATHER BEFORE, PLEASE REV I AM NOT ENJOYING HERE GOD KNOW IT .WHAT I AM DOING IS NEGOTATING WITH THE DRIVER HERE BUT DUT TO LANGUAGE BARRY THAT MAKE IT TO BE DIFFICULTY FOR ME.ALL THE SAME I KNOW GOD WILL DO HIS MIRCLE TO ME AND IT MUST HAPPEN BECAUSE I HAVE PUT MY SITUATION IN THE HANDS OF GOD AND I KNOW HE WILL SEE ME THROUGH.
PLEASE SIR LET ME GO BACK TO NEGOTATE AGAIN AND SEE IF THEY WILL HAVE MERCY ON ME.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING GOD BLESS YOU AND THE ENTIRE MEMBERS OF TWAT AMEN.

How can we not accept that apology? I even shed a tear (of laughter).

Master Baiter Joined: 22 Dec 2005 Posts: 211

^^ Tell Stinky that the Lord appeared in a vision and said that if the driver continues to refuse him passage to Abeche, then he must jack the driver's car and travel there himself. I wonder if they sever limbs in Chad for grand theft auto? Laughing

Or get him to ride a donkey there.

Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 2:07 am

Quote:

LANGUAGE BARRY THAT MAKE IT TO BE DIFFICULTY FOR ME

Bad bloke that Barry, keeps sticking his nose in and causing all sorts of problems.

Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:48 pm

Don't they offer languages courses for French and Arab at Mugu High School? At least in the safari classes, they ought to deal with foreign languages.

Nevertheless, there are more ambitious mugus, who even took the trouble of learning German in order to widen their horizon and to extend their business. I sometimes get mugu letters in German.

Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:51 pm

^^ There all lads all over the world. Quite a few in Germany (see my sig for one).

Posted: Sun Apr 20, 2008 6:04 pm

been saving the reading of this safari for a quiet day in the war room.

Well worth the wait, it delivers on every level Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 03 Jan 2006 Posts: 1455

Fantastic - I'd completely missed this thread - just spent a very pleasant while catching up!

Look after the guy carefully will you? I'd hate for anything to happen to him...

Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2008 10:57 am

Say hello to two more weeks (at least) of whining. An IP change brings us this gem:

Quote:

DEAR ERIC/HAMDAN,
I AM GREETING YOU PEOPLE WITH THE NAME OF OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST,
THIS IS A GOOD NEWS FOR YOU NOW, I AM RIGHT HERE IN ABECHE, I ARRIVAL SINCE 7 AM THIS MONDAY MORNING 21 APRIL 2008.
I HAVE TRY TO LOCATE YOUR PLACE AND I DID NOT GET IT AND I ALSO GONE TO THE OFFICE OF UNCHR TO ASK OF YOU BUT THEY TOLD
ME THAT THE PERSON IS NOT WORKING THERE THE OFFICE OF UNCHR THAT ALONG THE AIRPORT ROAD.
PLEASE CALL THIS NUMBER IS THE ONE THAT TOOK ME AND MY BROTHER AROUND TO FIND YOU.
HIS NUMBER IS 235xxxxxx HIS NAME IS EMEKA CALL HIM AND COME AND PICK US NOW PLEASE.
OR YOU CAN STILL DIRECT HIM HOW WE CAN GET YOU PLEASE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR MUTUAL COOPERATION AND GOD BLESS YOU.
BEST REGARDS;

And to Reverend Dover:

Quote:

DEAR REV BENJAMIN,
I GREET YOU IN THE NAME OF THE LORD, I HAVE GOOD NEWS FOR YOU.
I AM NOW IN ABECHE I ARRIVAL HERE 7 AM TODAY MONDAY MORNING.
I HAVE TOLD ERIC AND HAMDAN TO CALL ME AND COME AND PICK ME.
THANK YOU AND YOU CAN CALL THEM RIGHT NOW TO COME AND PICK ME PLEASE.
THANK YOU

That must suck.

Edit: A quick reply:

Quote:

Thank GOD!!! We're so glad to hea that you're in Abeche! Please, we're about to leave here and head back to Abeche within the next 3 hours. Did you not ask for Eric or Hamdan? Everyone in the UNHCR area knows who we are. Please wait for us. It shouldn't take us more than a 5 hour drive to reach you, once we actually get on the road. This is wonderful news! I knew the lord would help us come together. This is divine order,

Did you collect the Western Union to pay Emeke?

Edit: Forgot to mask phone number.