Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 6:49 pm

Quote:

Quoting: Prof So & So "I have no clue what to do next,"

How does this scenario sound? You have told him the car broke down because of the radiator. What if you finally found a Toyota dealer in a far distant place that would send you a new radiator. This opens it up for a number of unexpected delays. It would take a couple of days to arrive on the bus. You announce it's arrival and build up more hope when you tell him the farmer is installing the new radiator tomorrow. Then, when tomorrow comes, horror of horrors, you discover that they sent the radiator for a 4 cylinder car, not the 6 cylinder that you have. So - the wrong part gets sent back (after a one day delay because you missed the bus). Then there is more delay because you discover that the dealer didn't send the proper parts until they got back the ones the one that is being returned first. Then the proper radiator finally arrives and the farmer will be installing it tomorrow. Then when it is nearly installed the clumsy oaf irreparably damages it by accidentally driving a screwdriver right through it.
By this time the lad should be good and stinky and it will give him the opportunity to shed a few more of those unwanted pounds.
He could always be tasked with looking for a new radiator while he is scrounging for food! Wink

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 5:53 am

This has been amazing! He is soooooo faaaaaahked!

Tell him the Johnson Rod is broken on the vehicle, and you will be able to get one in two days. He messed up by not being there for the irate driver (nice work CS! Hahahahaha! ), so now he has to wait for another vehicle.

In two days the Johnson Rod arrives to fix the vehicle, and it is metric, not standard. Shit. Have to order another one, no problem, it'll be there in two more days.

He sounds seriously unhappy....

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 7:48 am

Tell the mugu not to worry, help will soon arrive.
Hotel reservations have also been arranged for him.

Tell him that what is happening is just a test from God. His faith will conquer
hunger and thirst.

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 11:37 am

Quote:

DEAR ERIC.
PLEASE WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER THERE I AM SUPRISE AND CONFUSE BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AGAIN.
I DID NOT HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN? PLEASE WHAT IS THE PROBLEM BECAUSE I AM NOT OKAY HERE AT ALL.
IF THE ARRANGEMENT YOU ARE MAKING IS NOT OKAY PLEASE TELL ME [b]AND GIVE ME DIRECTION ON HOW TO MEET
YOU IN KHACH KHACH OR ABECHE.PLEASE GIVE ME THE FULL ADDRESS OF THE TWAT CHURCH ADDRESS IN ABECHE
SO THAT I WILL USE IT FROM NDJAMENA TO ABECHE [/b]OR IF YOU ARE COMING TO PICK ME YOU LET ME KNOW I AM NOT FINE
HERE AT ALL.PLEASE GIVE ME THE ADDRESS OF ABECHE MOTOR PARK NAME WERE THE VEHICHLE WILL STOP/
PLEASE SEND IT NOW LET ME START NOW AND MAKE SURE YOU COME THERE AND WAIT FOR ME PLEASE.
PLEASE YOU WILL PAY FOR THE TRANSPORT FARE FROM HERE IN NDJAMENA TO ABECHE.BUT IF YOU HAVE SEND SOMEONE YOU TELL
ME NOW SO THAT SUCH MISTAKE WILL NOT OCCURE AGAIN PLEASE.BUT I WANT YOU TO SEND ME THE FULL ADDRESS OF TWAT CHURCH IN ABECHE
ALL MY FAMILY ARE WORRIED OVER MY HEALTH BECAUSE THEY ARE NO MORE COMFORTABLE WITH MY JOURNEY ANY MORE TO CHAD.
PLEASE CALL ME NOW AND SEND THE ADDRESS FOR ME SO THAT I WILL THE PERSON THAT HELP ME HERE TO ARRANGE A VEHICLE FOR ME TO
MEET YOU IN KHACH KHACH OR ABECHE AND YOU WAIT FOR ME SO THAT YOU PAY THE TRANSPORT FARE PLEASE.
HOW IS HAMDAN CHILDREN I HOPE THEY ARE OKAY NOW.
THANK YOU I AM WAITING FOR YOUR CALL PLEASE CALL ME TO RELIEF OF THE TENSION I HAVE HERE PLEASE/

I would love to call but, my stomach still hurts from all of the lobster we ate tonight.

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 12:03 pm

Yes! Good job! Cue the traveling music. He's on the road again...
beers!

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 12:35 pm

By the time he hits Abeche, he'll be about 1350 miles from home.

Oh. still dead broke though. Glad we sent him wilt that robe.

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 1:01 pm

I love when they leave a trail of angry creditors behind them. To the Sahara, and beyond! Very Happy

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 1:10 pm

It sounds like he has assembled the means to resume the journey. Another creditor throwing good money after bad.

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 1:25 pm

Idiot lad wrote:

...PLEASE GIVE ME THE FULL ADDRESS OF THE TWAT CHURCH ADDRESS IN ABECHE...

Well, this is certainly good news. Sounds like he is ready to roll again. This is good. We are going to promise him a hero's welcome in Abeche, complete with a plane ride home and $200K. We can't wait for his arrival. Laughing

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 4:00 pm

Fantastic..... clapping

I just wish that we could have video footage of these idiots and their surffering on safari. How funny would that be.. Laughing

Not quite a Newb Joined: 01 Apr 2008 Posts: 27

Mod Edit: Full requote of above post not necessary. ^^^^^ Very Happy

- JF

I bet it would look a lot like a slapstick comedy, with the ending being a Benny Hill style 'running away' from his creditors Very Happy

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 8:12 pm

Rev. Dover is getting a little upset with Adamu (the lad), Hamdan (our fake TWAT) and Eric (the fake TWAT's interpreter). He has just sent this email to all 3 of them.

Quote:

Dear Adamu, Hamdan, and Eric,

The reason that I am writing to you is that I want to get everything back on track. Reverend Phystme is growing impatient with our lack of progress. I know that things have become difficult but we still have work to do. I need all three of you to get back to Abeche as soon as possible.

Hamdan, I know your son is sick, but there are people there that can help him. Let them do their jobs.

Eric, I need you back in Abeche to assist Brother Adamu once he arrives. As you know, he does not speak Arabic. He needs your help.

Adamu, I need you to get to Abeche to receive the funds to begin the church in Nigeria. The plane will be available for you once you arrive.

All of you need to do your part. There will be plenty of opportunity for rest and relaxation once you arrive in Abeche.

Yours in the Lord
--
Reverend Benjamin Dover
Director of Membership

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Good work all, can't wait for the frantic panicky emails from Abeche Laughing

Posted: Wed Apr 09, 2008 11:37 pm

A reassuring word from Eric (our fake TWAT's translator) should be helpful.

Quote:

Brother Adamu,

As you know, I have been ordered back to Abeche with Hamdan. I understand that you will be meeting us there as well. I am not sure if you know where to find us or not but just in case you do not know, I will tell you.

You will be happy to know that Abeche is a quiet, very small town of just a couple hundred people. Unlike N'Djamena, everything in Abeche is easy to find and everyone there is far more friendly. You will be greeted like a hero I am sure. All you need to do is travel East on Abeche road. We live in the building exactly 20 meters to the West of the UNHCR office. It is easy to find that building. It is the only building in the center of town that has satellite dishes all over it. Everyone knows everyone in Abeche. All you need to do is ask for Hamdan or me. Everyone knows us.

By the way, I am sorry about the incident with the driver. He was a very rude man. I told the people at the UNHCR about him. He will be delt with.

I look forward to finally meeting you and your brother. This has taken way too long already and I am sure that both you and your brother are looking forward to the plane ride back home.

See you soon,

Eric

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 1:28 am

Hahahaha! I love this! When he gets to Abeche, he will find people not so friendly, and no UNHCR compound, or if they have on there, he will look 20 metres west and find.... nothing...

I can almost feel sorry for him! But not really.

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 2:16 am

Shouldn't you tell him that you are leaving the payment for the driver at the front desk in case he arrives late at night. He could just ring the doorbell and the security guard will have an envelope of cash for him to pay the driver for bringing him to that wonderful peaceful place. Methinks arriving late at night would add to the ambiance!

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 5:53 am

^^ We'll see what he replies, but that idea will be used if he bites.

Nice work on the e-mails today, YW.

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 8:20 am

Cross your fingers, everyone!

Quote:

DEAR BROTHER HAMDAN AND ERIC.
THIS IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR MESSAGE .THE CONTENTS OF YOUR MAIL IS WELL UNDERSTOOD.
I AM VERY HAPPY NOW AND I THANK GOD FOR THIS MESSAGE YOU SENT TO ME NOW BECAUSE BEFORE I AM NOT WITH MYSELF.PLEASE ERIC I WILL MAKE THE ARRANGEMENT TO COME TO ABEHCE NOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO PLEASE TRY TO CALL US SO THAT I WILL TELL YOU THAT WE HAVE FINSHED THE ARRANGEMENT AND YOU WAIT FOR US AND PLEASE TRY TO GIVE US A LOCAL TELEPHONE NUMBER THAT WE WILL USE TO CALL YOU IMMEDIATELY WE REACH ABECHE SO THAT YOU COME AND PICK US.
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT BECAUSE THE SATELITE PHONE NUMBER IS DIFFICULT TO GET SO I NEED A PHONE NUMBER THAT WILL BE EASY FOR ME TO REACH YOU PLEASE.
PLEASE LET ME NOT FORGET HOW IS THE HEALTH OF HAMDAN FAMILY I HOPE THEY ARE OKAY NOW I THANK GOD FOR THEIR QUICK RECOVERING.
PLEASE TRY TO CALL ME SO THAT YOU KNOW THE SITUATION OF MY CONDITION HERE PLEASE.I LOOK FORWAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU MAY ALMIGHTY GOD BLESS YOU PEOPLE OVER THERE IN ABECHE AMEN.
BEST REGARDS.

Hook, line, and F*ckin sinker!!!

Adamu's soulmate Joined: 23 Nov 2007 Posts: 337

This is amazing - so this is his 10th day there and no sign of being anywhere near over yet - is this a new record?

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 8:55 am

^^ Not even close to a record.

I am thrilled, however. I have been hoping that we're only near the middle of this bait. If he hits Abeche, he's more screwed than he can even imagine. He'll be 1400 miles from home with no money, no clothes, and he can't speak the language. Good luck, jackass!!

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:17 am

There is a picture of the runway at Abeche airport here:
http://www.world66.com/africa/chad/abeche
just in case you wanted to tease him a bit more...

I've been following this bait for a while now - you lot are totally evil and insane and I love it!

What is the record for a Safari anyway? Sorry for the questions but I'm very new as you can see. I've been lurking for a while to learn and see whats happening. I love the phone calls too - they are classic!

Rocki

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:22 am

^^ I'm pretty sure the record would be a bait that YW, jojo, and BigWorm ran together. They safaried a lad from South Africa to Egypt! As far as the longest safari time-wise, that MAY go to Scam Patroller and writeon for the lad they safried to Cote D' Ivoire in October or November of last year. He's STILL there (and still being baited).

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 9:46 am

Just in to the Rev:

Stinky Rock Kicking Mugu wrote:

Dear Rev Benjamin:
This is to acknowledge the receipt of your message the contents of your mail is well understood:
You will bear with me that i am not the cause of the delay is due to uncircustance that is above me: What i am trying to say is that if Hamdan have come here since this problem will not arise it is because he did not come and here i dont know how to speak arabic or french language that is the barry:
All the same i will tell the person that assist me here to arrange a vehicle for me to abeche:
Please Rev Dover tell driver will carry me there and hamdan will pay the fare in abeche and please tell hamdan or eric to give a phone number that is not satelite number so that i can call them immediately i arrival there: They should alway call me to know my situation here before i left to abeche please:
As soon as i arrival abeche i will email you:
May Almighty God bless you and your family Amen:
Best Regards;

Please stay tuned for phase two of absolute hell, after these brief messages.

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 12:13 pm

A quick googling provided a picture of that very same bus station...

http://christmasindarfur.blogspot.com/2007/01/happy-new-year-live-from-ndjamena.html

Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 12:39 pm

I looks like Abeche is finally on Laughing

We'll tell him that there are no reliable landlines for the time being. Apparantly, the line has been damaged somewhere and people have been out for days looking for the problem. I guess we're still stuck using the satellite phone.

Man, this is going to be such a disappointment for these guys once they get to Abeche and start asking around for Eric and Hamdan Laughing

Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari	View next topic View previous topic