Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

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Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:57 pm

Thanks!

The American Rev writes this:

Quote:

Adam-

I have not been in touch with HamXXX today. Are you saying that he is back in Abeche? When did he tell you that? He was in Khach Khach yesterday. He said he was going to call you. But I know that one of his relatives fell ill with malaria. I had poor reception when talking to him yesterday, but I think he said that it was one of his children. His phone was cutting in and out. I was not under the impression that he was going to be going back to Abeche right now.

I have emailed him. The most important thing is that eventually you get to Abeche. Our church is well-known in that area. They will be able to take care of you and everything once you arrive. You can find our church camp in Abeche very easily. But, once you and HamXXX establish the plan, you'll be on your way in no time. He is very worried about you. He kept telling me to tell you that everything will be okay.

Is there any way that you can get a picture of you and your friend? I want to send it to HamXXX. Also, we are putting it in our church newsletter.

I attached a pic of our plane for you to see. This is what you'll be going back to Nigeria in.

Thanks so much Adam. Just hang in there!

Hopefully the thought of that plane will be enough to keep him moving farther east. Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 2:22 pm

JMRazor wrote:

You promised a "jet" -- I am starting to get the sense you guys are not being straight with this poor pilgrim..... Confused

Isn't that a jet? What do you want from us? We are priests, not aerospace engineers for God's sake.

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 3:28 pm

^^^
Turboprop. Sort of a hybrid...

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 3:29 pm

Quote:

We are priests, not aerospace engineers for God's sake.

You owe me a keyboard!

It's a turboprop. Not quite a jet, but close enough for the lad, I'm sure.

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:31 pm

The distance between N'Djamena and Abeche is 750 km. If he reaches Abeche he will be about halfway between Lagos and the Red Sea.

A line from "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly", spoken just prior to each of two horrible desert journeys:

Quote:

"If you save your breath, I think a man like you can manage it"

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:23 pm

Poor mugu's getting desparate. He just sent me this:

Quote:

Dear Rev
THIS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR MESSAGE.THE CONTENTS OF YOUR MAIL IS WELL UNDERSTOOD.
I WANT TO INFORM YOU THAT SINCE FIVEDAYS NOW I AM IN CHAD TO MEET H@MDAN. TILL NOW I HAVE NOT MEET HIM AND I AM STREDED HERE IN CHAD.
PLEASE I HAVE TOLD REV D0V3R ABOUT MY SITUATION HERE IN CHAD BUT NOTHING HAVE BEEN DONE. MY FAMILY ARE WORRIED ABOUT MY CONDITION BECAUSE I SUPPOSE
TO BE BACK IN NIGERIA YESTERDAY .NO FOOD NO WATER TO DRINK BECAUSE I DONT HAVE A SINGLE MONEY WITH ME HERE IN CHAD.
PLEASE IF YOU CAN INSTRUCT H@MDAN TO COME IMMEDIATELY TO MEET ME I WILL BE VERY GRATEFUL BECAUSE AM IN DISFFICULT HERE SHOULD COME AND RESCURE ME PLEASE.
THANK YOU I WILL BE HAPPY TO SEE YOU ANYTIME YOU COME TO NIGERIA/
GOD BLESS YOU AMEN
AD@MU LAW@L

I had sent him an email shortly before he left to support the other Rev.'s efforts, but this is the first Ive heard back from him. He thinks Im in Kenya trying to cure diseased [email protected].'s.

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:30 pm

Awwwwwwwww. That's a shame. freddy, we cannot thank you enough for donating this lad. This is going so easy (for us). This is great stuff. Sadly, I am out on vacation here shortly. YW and Prof are taking over. Crying or Very sad

I'll be excited to see what goes one when I get back.

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:48 pm

Too bad that Jojo is out of town for a while. This is too much fun (for us).

So the plan now is to make the lad think that we (Muhammad and Eric... our fake TWATs) are suffering as much as he is. We are going to be telling him that Eric, with his extensive medical background, has been called to the refugee camp at Farchana, 100 miles to the North of Abeche, to attend to an injured child. We will also be telling him that we will be forced to walk for at least 30 miles of it and will be sleeping out in the open desert at times. Misery loves company you know.

After our work at Farchana is done, we are going to make our way South to Abeche. We will no doubt have to walk much of it too. We will tell the lad that we will all meet there, transfer the money and wish him farewell as he boards the plane for Nigeria.

Freddy, don't bother with trying to mask TWAT. Do a Google search on twat and you will see that there is no risk of being made.

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:49 pm

Intesresting the way he seems to think "stranded" is spelled "streded".

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:57 pm

No food or water for days? Sounds like he's just fasting as the prophets did when they walked the Earth. Wink

419Eater is my life Joined: 07 Apr 2006 Posts: 441

Not a single drop of water for five days - he should be more than dead by now!

Don't they offer free water at the internet cafes? Around here they even offer free coffee!

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 7:51 pm

I am going to be tired from walking those 30 miles. That's for sure. Actually, I'll be on a beach in Belize while he is suffering. You guys will no doubt keep this thing going. I am excited to see what happens when I get back.

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 7:57 pm

Jojo - How will you ever be able to enjoy yourself in decadent splendor, on a sun-drenched tropical beach, with cool breezes blowing across you, wafting the odor of your margarita to your nostrils, while knowing that somewhere a mugu is "streded" in the desert?

Bruin

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 9:51 pm

Well, it helps because I am not quite sure what streded means. So, it helps me sleep at night. Laughing

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 11:23 pm

I have no idea if it works internationally, but in the UK you can leave someone a voicemail on their mobe with no risk of the call getting picked up - would something like that (with faked up terrible connection if needs be) keep him on the road?

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 6:20 pm

Guys - - any updates? Is he still "streded"?

Bruin

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:04 pm

This came in 3 hours ago:

Stinky Mugu wrote:

Dear RevBenjamin;
This is to acknowledge the receipt of your message,the contents of your mail is well understood:
Let me informed you back that Hamxxx now said that he is still in khach khach please you can tell him to come
to ndjamena here to meet me so that i go with him in abeche: I am not feeling fine here this is my sixth days here;
There no way i can send you the picture because i dont have any money to take it until i travel back then i will send it please bear with me please:
If i have money with me i would have travel to abeche but i dont have that is why i sade that tell him to meet me here so that we go together to abeche;
You can also call me please;
thank you and God bless you Amen

I'm going to try calling him again later today at the new number he provided. I'm going to call as the translator, so hopefully we'll get to actually hear how shitty his life is. Obviously, I'll still be pushing him and his friend to make it to Khach Khach.

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 7:10 pm

Beautiful Safari. Specially this time of year in Chad. Lovely weather conditions.

You guys are so mean. Same on you

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 8:38 pm

Here's the email I sent in answer to him. It went out yesterday.

Quote:

@dam.
It vexes me greatly to hear of your trials. Rest assured you will be rewarded by God for your help in spreading TWAT. It is through the TWAT that we all must pass to get to our Lord, and many have suffered in the name of God and the TWAT, but I promise if you remain strong in the face of trial that you will be rewarded. Satan is trying to discourage you in your work, just as he tried to discourage Christ, but you must not falter in your faith in TWAT.

I understand H4md@n has broken down in Abeche, and is waiting for you there, with all materials and monies that we have discussed woth you. You must get there AT ALL COSTS! He is stranded and may not be able to leave Abeche without abandoning the things he carries with him, so it is of utmost importance that you meet him there, in Abeche, and from there you may fly back to Nigeria with all materials and monies to begin building the Church and spread the TWAT to your fellow Nigerians. Do not falter, you are so close, Ad4m! I have faith in you! The Lord will provide, you must be strong!

Yours in TWAT,
Rev. Gru66

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:03 pm

If this poor man is so desperate couldn't you send him to where he can get some assistance in the way of food, clothing and lodging?
I was thinking he could go to any mosque (there are plenty around) and once there he could pray and ask any of the women there to show him their TWAT.
Every interdenominational mosque has a TWAT somewhere on the premises.
You can assure him that the people there will take care of him until help arrives. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:51 pm

jojobean wrote:

I attached a pic of our plane for you to see. This is what you'll be going back to Nigeria in.

jojobean wrote:

Hopefully the thought of that plane will be enough to keep him moving farther east.

Nasty.

Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 11:05 pm

So when can he put on his missionary clothes? Maybe it's better he wears these on the 'final' couple of miles so he can be welcomed by the TWAT community properly. Maybe he should hold the sign coming into the village? So they would recognize him and give him the proper welcome?

I feel sorry already for this poor Chad undertaker that has to collect his smelly remains .. not a pretty picture if you ask me ..

How does he get into these Arabic internet cafes without money I wonder ..

More popcorn ..

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 2:39 am

According to the new "Revised" Oxford Dictionary;
Streded: adjective; Penniless, hungry, thirsty, filthy, tired mugu vacationing in a foriegn land with an equally wretched friend Rolling Eyes

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 2:51 am

You guys are soooo evil. I love you.

Posted: Sun Apr 06, 2008 8:01 am

I can't get enough of this bait. You are just too good, Prof. Laughing

Jojo get off your lazy arse!

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