Music 2 My Ears - Wickedest Evil Safari

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Master of Master Baiters Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 589

@ JoJo you are pure evil great work Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 5:48 pm

@Jojo: What's the pot of gold at the end of this guy's rainbow? I swear you're going to be sending mugus to Antarctica soon, or having them build rockets to the Moon. Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:02 pm

The lad thinks he is getting $200k for joining the church. This is a standard donation for every TWAT member, even thought he did not build the pyramid of faith. This guy was such a gem, I decided he was up for the safari ASAP. He was so willing.

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:19 pm

You know, Jojo, if he enjoys his visit to Darfur (and, of course, survives), he might be willing to travel on to the Qattara Depression in Egypt. It is quite an arduous journey but, once he arrives, I hear that there is some incredible quicksand for an intrepid traveler to explore. He could get totally absorbed and forget about the loss of the 200K!

(pun intended)

Bruin

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:03 pm

HAHAHAh.... I can't stop chuckling out loud. I'm going to have to show this to my colleague so he knows I'm not going mad.

Quote:

I JUST ASK THE OWNER TO ASSIST ME SO THAT IWE CAN TALK AND KNOW THAT I AM STILL AROUND.

Thank heavens for that! I'd hate for this to end quickly.

The classic YW/jojo safari to hell and back (or maybe not) Twisted Evil

lives on!

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:05 pm

Professor So and So is giving him a call tonight. We are still pushing for him to move farther from home, as always. This is one of the funniest baits I have done. He doesn't have one hint of distrust in him.

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:08 pm

Just so long as we can get him to think that every step to the East is a step closer to the plane, and to home, we are doing great.

I can't imagine how stinky this guy must be by now. Wandering aimlessly through a foreign country, no money, no food, no place to stay, Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:20 pm

*sniff* *tear rolls down cheek*
Im just glad to have had a part in it, no matter how small.
TWAT is PURE genius. I highly recommend it.
Just can't get enough!

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:23 pm

^^^
You did a great job freddy getting him as far as you did. You saved us a ton of work. As far as I am concenred, you get at least half of the credit. Thumbs up

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:42 pm

man, the guy is just so eager!

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 8:52 pm

Welcome back Freddy! Great job softening this guy up for the travel agents. What was his original format?

TWAT ho!

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:27 pm

thanks, bohigal!

eh....format?

Im dense sometimes, I dont understand the question!! Laughing

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:39 pm

Sorry. The lads call their various scamming techniques and scripts "formats."
I'm curious what his original scam letter was about.

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:55 pm

ahhh...ok, IC.

Original was from xxxxxxxxx <[email protected]> .
This email was who I was to reply to, xxxxxxxxxxx @yahoo.com.

twas a banking scam, I have included the original below.

Quote:

FROM CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA
HEAD OF BANKING OPERATIONS
Tinubu square - Lagos

Attention
CONTRACT PAYMENT BY CASH CALL SYSTEM
Sequel to the secret arrangement in regards to the Shipment of your total contract sum(US$55.5m), I wish to inform you that all necessary modalities have been automatically concluded and the fund has left C.B.N office through the Diplomatic Courier Services today by Express CargoFlight to your home country.
Note carefully that the content of the box are your total contract value but the CBN did not disclose the content to the Courier Services, rather it was registered as Vital "DIPLOMATIC DOCUMENTS" belonging to the CBN client (That�s you).
Furthermore, the box is (1) in number and about 75kg. However, you are advised not to disclose the content of the box to the Courier Services to avoid Betrayal in any circumstances In the mean time, you are kindly advised to furnish us with your direct telephone/mobile number, your valid I.D/Drivers License and your office/house address or where ever you wish to receive the diplomat to enable him identify you when he arrives to your address with the box.
For more information, we advise you to contact this office as soon as you receive this mail to enable us fax you the necessary documents which you will need to deposit your funds into your bank account.
Congratulations and remain blessed.
Sincerely,
Dr J@mes Ez3
C. B .N HEAD BANKING OPERATIONS

Looks like he was assuming we had communicated before, but this was the first I heard of it. LOL!

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:01 pm

Thanks Freddie. Please omit the email addresses, to discourage exuberant new users from jumping in this bait.

It's very common for the lads to design the first message to look like a followup ("sequel") email or ASEM. Thanks for sharing this boob with the pros, we are all learning a lot!

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:12 pm

ahhh....good call, fixed.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 589

@ jojo How many miles have you made lads travel in total. Laughing

*** BANNED *** Joined: 10 Jan 2004 Posts: 3779

The distance between N'Djamena and Am Djemena is 321 km according to the old Chad map here. Add 5.5 km to Khach Khach.

That's of course the right Am Djemena on the road to Abeche. Another one is within walking distance from N'Djamena - just 20 km S-E.

Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 10:34 pm

Good catch, TFI. Can I please see the map on which you found the Khach Khach to the SE? We're obviously shooting for the one towards Abeche and I gotta call this yin-yang later. I'm using MSN's live search maps and can't see it.

*** BANNED *** Joined: 10 Jan 2004 Posts: 3779

I have a paper map of Chad and found it there.

http://www.fallingrain.com/world/CD/4/Am_Djemena2.html

But this name seems to be popular around N'Djamena. Here's another one even closer:

http://www.fallingrain.com/world/CD/4/Am_Djemena3.html

More confusion!

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:22 am

BRUIN wrote:

... he might be willing to travel on to the Qattara Depression in Egypt. It is quite an arduous journey but, once he arrives, I hear that there is some incredible quicksand for an intrepid traveler to explore. ...

And minefields from WW2 Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 12:39 pm

Strongside wrote:

@ jojo How many miles have you made lads travel in total. Laughing

Are you talking all lads, or just these two? Laughing

All lads would take too long to count. If I had to guess, I'd say somewhere in the neighbourhood of 30,000 miles. But that's a pretty big guess. I have a couple of hefty safaris, but most are shorter distances.

BRUIN- I have not forgotten that safari destination. I have been thinking of working it into another bait.

Prof- did you talk to him on the phone? He wrote to the Rev and to Ham something about us being BACK in Abeche. I never said that. I don't want to email him back, in case your lazy arse actually did decide to get out of bed and call him last night.

His email to the Rev:

Quote:

SUBJECT: I AM NOT OKAY HERE PLEASE TELL HAMXXX TO MEET ME TODAY FOR GOD SAKE PLEASE

Dear Rev
I want to informed you that i have not met HamXXX since fivedays now
I am not happy with this situation because i am streded here in ndjamena no food no water
Please i want you to do all you can do so that he will come and meet me here and i will now go with him
to Abeche and travel back to Nigeria immediately because of my family are worried of my situation
Yesterday he told me that he is khach off the main road of ndjamena but today he say that he is in Abeche
tell me how and when will he come to carry me ,the worst is that i dont have any money with me in ndjamena
Please Rev ,tell him to leave whatever he is doing and come and meet me please for God sake i am not okay:
He say that he is going to call me later tonight;that is he is prolonging to see me how will i stay for five days without food
and this is not my country look at the risk i took to come here because i dont want to disappoint you:
Rev please do something now instruct him to come immediately to meet me:
I will be very grateful if i see him today thank you for your concerned and God bless you Amen;
Adam

Email to Eric/Ham:

Quote:

SUBJECT: I AM WAITING FOR YOU PLEASE CALL AND COME AND CARRY ME TO THERE TODAY

DEAR HAMXXX.
YOU SAY BEFORE THAT YOU ARE IN KHACH KHACH OFF THE MAIN ROAD OF NDJAMENA AND RIGHT NOW YOU ARE BACK TO ABECHE WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO NOW?
I AM NOT OKAY HERE DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE HERE WITHOUT FOOD. YOU TOLD ME TO COME TO NDJAMENA TO MEET YOU AND I AM HERE SINCE 5DAYS NOW WITHOUT SEEING YOU THE WORST IS THAT I DONT SPEAK ARABIC OR FRENCH LANGUAGE. I DONT HAVE ANY FRESH CLOTHES HERE IT IS ONLY THE MISSIONARY OUTFIT I HAVE BECAUSE MY CLOTHES ARE VERY DIRTY.
THERE IS NO PROBLEM GOING TO ABECHE WITH YOU MY PROBLEM IS THAT YOU COME QUICK TO CARRY ME THERE SO THAT I WILL FEEL FREE BUT NOW I AM NOT OKAY BECAUSE I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU AT ALL.
PLEASE USE THE NAME OF ALMIGHTY GOD TO BEG YOU TELL ME WHEN YOU WILL BE HERE TODAY.
I DONT HAVE MUCH TO SAY AGAIN BECAUSE WITHOUT THE PERSON THAT DO POINT CELTEL HERE THAT ASSIST ME IN MY CONDITION HOW WILL I EMAIL YOU?
MY PEOPLE ARE WORRIED AT HOME BECAUSE I TOLD THEM THAT I WILL BE AT HOME YESTERDAY BUT LOOK AT MY CONDITION . WILL YOU BE HAPPY IF YOU ARE IN MY CONDITION. PLEASE DO SOMETHING NOW SO THAT I WILL BE HAPPY TO SEE YOU COME TODAY AND CARRY ME TO ABECHE.
THANK YOU PLEASE I AM WAITING TO SEE YOU .
ADAM

I am laughing so hard at these emails!!!! I mean, imagine being in a country (that is mostly Muslim), with only that stupid white missionary robe to wear! And the worst part is the language barrier. It's not like Arabic is REMOTELY close to English. This guy is having a tough time. The Reverend is definitely hurting for him. But what can one do? Not much I suppose. He really needs to get to Abeche.

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 12:48 pm

Man, I just love letters like these. It's hard to see them through all of the tears (of laughter). I would give anything to have a photo of this guy while on the road.

I don't know why he would think that he is supposed to go directly to Abeche. We all know that is not going to happen right away. He needs to start towards Khack Khack first before we spring the news on him that he needs to keep going on his way to Abeche where the plane will be waiting for him.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

You promised a "jet" -- I am starting to get the sense you guys are not being straight with this poor pilgrim..... Confused

Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 1:53 pm

Here is a street map of N'Djamena from 1986. Maybe your local missionaries will find it useful in directing your lad's movements.

http://www.lib.utexas.edu/maps/world_cities/ndjamena.jpg

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