*Rant*

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Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 5:40 pm

Daughter came home this afternoon on the back of her boyfriend's motorbike.

Problem is this - boyfriend's 18, held a full licence for just over 1 year. Under current rules, he's allowed to ride anything up to 33bhp. He's currently on a Suzuki GS600F - well over the power limit. He's been around bikes since he was a kid - mainly trials stuff.

As far as I'm concerned, he's riding illegally - i.e not within the terms of his licence. If he had an accident, I'm pretty sure his insurance company would throw a major wobbly. His parents know full well what he's doing & seem happy to accept the risk.

But when my daughter gets on the pillion seat, it becomes my business & I'm not happy. Mad

So, I gave him an earful & sent him on his way. Told daughter she'd have to get a taxi to go down to his house. She's not talking to me at the moment.

Question - did I over-react? Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 5:44 pm

No you did not over-react.
Your daughter probably feels a bit embarrased and angry about you "attacking" the boyfriend ........she'll get over it. Do sit down and explain your fears/concerns (in a calm manner) Wink

*** BANNED *** Joined: 02 Jan 2006 Posts: 2021

You were 100% right mate, he's lucky he got away without a slap in my opinion, breaching the restrictions of his license deems his insurance totally void.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 2922

I'd have "released the hounds" Smile

and then called the cops.

No you didn't over-react make sure your daughter wears boots that cover the ankles, jeans as a minimum and a leather jacket and a full face helmet. Road rash is a bitch!!!

Teenagers+high powered crotch rockets=generally not a good idea.

Best of Luck.

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 5:51 pm

She took the taxi Sad

She'll be home tomorrow & I'll speak to her then. I did talk to her some time ago & told her he shouldn't be on that machine yet, but it obviously didn't sink in.

At the moment, I'm still too angry to think about much other than testing the qualities of his helmet with a length of 4x2.

edit:

Quote:

boots that cover the ankles, jeans as a minimum and a leather jacket and a full face helmet

She was wearing a full set of leathers! Makes me wonder where she got them from & how long this has been going on.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jan 2007 Posts: 2922

Better than the bloke i saw yesterday on the freeway

Him-helmet+short sleeve shirt+shorts+trainers
Her-helmet+tank top+brown trousers+slip on shoes.

Bike was like 1100cc Kawasaki or something similar.

Me+girlfriend in unison "Dumbass"

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 6:27 pm

Flat out daughter doesn't ride until boyfriend gets the proper license. And, I would let his family know how you feel. Tell her you love her and that you want to love her for many years to come. Good parenting comes hard sometimes but ya got to do it.

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 6:42 pm

Over the last year or so I'd actually got to like this chap!

He's got a smaller bike (Suzuki X5) which he's perfectly legal on. I wouldn't have minded so much if she'd turned up on the back of that.

I've no reason to believe he's particularly unsafe - passed his test first time just a few days after his 17th birthday - he's been riding trials bikes since he was a kid. His dad's a biker - rides a BMW.

He always wears full protective gear & the fact that she had leathers on shows a fair degree of sense, but then he had to go & blow it by making me angry!

I'll probably feel a lot calmer tomorrow.

Haven't ridden my bike since September (little Suzuki commuter) & this morning was actually thinking about hanging on to it for her when she's a little older.

Come to think of it, I might just put her in for a CBT - should give her a wake up that it's not quite as easy as it seems. Damn near sh*t myself the first time I did it!

*** BANNED *** Joined: 02 Jan 2006 Posts: 2021

There is a reason why he's restricted mate, it's to gain the experience to be able to be fully in control of a more powerful bike after his probation, stop beating yourself up, you did the right thing and probably stopped your daughter becoming a local headline... good on you mate clapping

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 8:42 pm

iMike wrote:

... did I over-react?

Yes and no.

No: you're right.

Yes: what would you have done at her age?

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 8:49 pm

^^valid point.

I'm off to have a beer or two & wind down. Thanks again.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

I agree with KD
Shocked

To prove it I still have the scars on my legs where I came off my wee Yamaha 125.
We also have offspring
We've side stepped the desire for bikes as "there's nowhere safe to keep them".
Helped that a neighbour had his bike taken from a locked driveway.

Eldest daughter has a lid, leathers and a boyfriend with bike.
She's also in her 20s
We paid for driving lessons in the vain hope a car would seem a better choice Rolling Eyes

CBT sounds like a good plan
Calmly explain your problem/ fears, then offer to help toward CBT

Remember in their eyes a parent is always in the wrong
Even though were mostly right.

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:18 pm

"Giving an earful" is always an overreaction in my opinion. It's much better to have a cup of tea and a chat (he might take you seriously then), and your daughter would probably still talk to you afterwards.
Plus, now your daughter knows it pisses you off, she'll be on the back of that bike at every opportunity.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

^^
Its not always easy to keep calm and have a cup of tea.

It's not a question of controlling their lives, its an emotional response to a perceived threat.
The adrenalin kicks in - the flight or flight reaction

We get upset because we care.

( and usually have been there, done that.
We know the consequences )

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:41 pm

I don't think there's a correlation between the size of bike and how injured/dead you are if someone else does something careless or stupid. But that's another discussion. Glad to hear your daughter is at least wearing the correct gear.

I would sit down with the boyfriend and calmly explain your concerns, #1 being the safety of your daughter and #2 the insurance problem. Like all kids that age they both probably think they are bullet proof.

Posted: Sat Mar 15, 2008 9:56 pm

See what they have in your area for EMT courses. That would be Emergency Medical Technician. I took that course in my Early twenties when I was doing a lot of Scuba and commercial Diving.

A large part of the course covers "Vehicular Extractions" and we had a local Emergency Room doctor give a number of talks, complete with his personal photo collection. Shocked

I recommend that you sign them up for it. Brush off some baiting skills and 'motivate' them in that direction.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Mar 2007 Posts: 2628

@ Stoker
Not sure if we have that in the UK.
We do have first aid courses which I'd always recommend

iMikes problem isn't with the lass being on a motorbike, its the legality and of the engine size/bhp for the boyfriends age.
If there was to be an accident, even if caused by someone else, his insurance company will wash their hands of it PDQ.

@whytie-kids may be kids but no insurance cover is a biggie, no help if something goes wrong, no monetary help to rebuild home if they needed to be adapted, expenses, lives, plastic surgeon,etc etc. But who thinks of that as a teenager, thats why parents are there to guide, worry , advise

My granny used to say, children!, it's no wonder we get grey hair as we get older

she never mentioned L'oreal

*** BANNED *** Joined: 02 Jan 2006 Posts: 2021

How about we all stop being social workers and face the fact that that kid is breaking the law by riding a motorcycle that he is un- trained and un-qualified to ride, if he takes out a kid on the pavement due to his inability to handle that machine will the fact that HE is wearing the correct clothing make a difference. Mike, if the little git turns up on that thing again call the police and have the bike taken of him, as a parent that is the only responsible action to be taken

Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 2:02 am

My father had a thing about horses that some parents have about motorcycles.

He had worked with horses when he was young, and had seen a lot of accidents.

He would never let me or my sister ride horses when we were kids.

Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 5:41 am

I'm with Bombardier. He is beyond his licensed permission. I'd give a chat with the LE agency of my town to see what would be the best thing to do. The law / restriction was put in place for a reason and it should be enforced for that same reason.

Trail riding is a whole different thing than street riding. Braking is the total opposite between trails and street. The dangers are (generally) less with trail than street. On the street the dangers are heavier and also moving on all sides of you in an almost 3-D fashion.

Leathers are good and yet they don't protect against crushing or impact injuries. There is too much of a risk IMO. What other laws is he not following?

I ride, riding is fun. Just like baiting, riding safe is "funner"!

I don't think you over reacted. Have your daughter do some research on injuries. Riding two up is a skill set that has to be practiced to be mastered. My best to you and your daughter in the situation.

Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 11:09 am

Firstly, thanks to everyone for their comments. I've had a little time to think about things & calm down.

As much as one instinct is to shop him to the law, I'm concerned about the damage it may do to my relationship with daughter - one thing I didn't say in the initial post is that she's my stepdaughter. She's been seeing this lad for well over a year - I do actually like him.

Thinking about the look on her face when I was giving him an ear-bashing, I really don't think she realised he wasn't licenced! She's usually a sensible girl & I doubt she'd have got on the bike if she'd realised the implications.

I'm going to sit down with her & tell her exactly why I reacted like I did - that my main concern is for her safety & well being & what could have happened if there had been an accident - from my own riding, I know that no matter how well you're in control of your own machine, It only takes one driver to maneovre without looking to leave you in the sh*t.

Spoken with wife - we've both agreed that it would be a good idea to put her through a CBT to at least demonstrate the amount of concentration & effort needed to ride safely.

She's leaving college this year - one of her options for future employment is the Ambulance Service (ideally she'd like to be a paramedic) - if that doesn't put her off bikes, nothing will!

thanks everyone.

Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 3:35 pm

It might be that he has a restrictor kit fitted, making the bike legal for him to ride now and can be removed when he has done 2 years and wants more power.

Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2008 3:41 pm

^^already spoken to him about that - it's unrestricted.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 16 Mar 2008 Posts: 4

CBT?

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

<strike>Computer Based Training

Like a first person car racing game. But unlike Carmagedon et al, the objective is to take out as few of the pedestrians and other road users as possible.</strike>

There's that scene in The Simpson's beginning credits where Bart is writing lines on the blackboard.

"I will not post unless I am absolutely sure that I know the answer and I am qualified to know the answer.
I will not post unless I am absolutely sure that I know the answer and I am qualified to know the answer.
I will not post unless I am absolutely sure that I know the answer and I am qualified to know the answer.
I will not...