George Bush & the Village People

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** SUSPENDED ** Joined: 03 Jul 2007 Posts: 1

Hi SP, just signed up to express my sincere respect to you...I AM NOT WORTHY TO STAND IN THY SHADOW! bow_down

I'll surely stick around to get my daily dosis of laughs.

For three months now I am bombarded with Russian "girls" wanting to meet me....this brought me to this site. I will watch the master at work as I learn the fine art of baiting before I'll screw with one russian girl's head.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Thanks KillerTomato, welcome to the eater, grab a lad when you're ready and have some fun Very Happy

:

Brandie has sent a reply to the lad, she will soon be back in the US:

Quote:

Hiya baby,

Baby, you seem to have completely misunderstood my last email, I didn't mean for you to drop the choir right now, I meant that after you have recorded the YMCA song with them, you can drop them to concentrate on your solo singing career.

What I said about the film of your life story, of course, the script writers do not know anything about your personal early life story, yet, apart from what they have been told about you recording the YMCA song, I told you they had written the skeleton of the script of your life story for the plot of the film, all they need to do is sit down with you so you can fill in the blanks, the blanks being your early life in Africa up to the present day, don't forget, writers also write things that have not happened, they are free to make any storyline that they want, it does not have to be a true reflection of your life story, they add bits to make the film audience enthralled with the film, to keep you on the edge of your seat, things like that, it will be great when it's finished.

xxxxx, I need to take issue with you over your comment that I am possessive, that simply is not true, don't ever call me possessive again, I hate it when people say that to me, it makes my blood boil, I am a woman who always gets what she wants, is there anything wrong with that? Maybe you are used to African women who are used to being downtrodden by their men, I wont allow that to happen to myself, so don't think for one minute that you will be walking all over me, if you even try it, I will bust your ass big time baby.

You might be the one who will be making all of the money with your singing and the film rights to your life story, but as your wife, I will use any part of the money in our joint bank account for any damn thing that I like, we will be a team, but if I want to have a big party for all my girlfriends, I will take $200,000 from the bank for that, if I want a new pair of shoes, I will take $5000 to pay for them, you will keep me in the style that I am accustomed to, nothing more, nothing less.

When you are married to me, you are not allowed to look at another woman, I don't care how hot she looks, if you look at her in a horny way, I will cut your balls of and make you eat them, how's that for possessiveness? Trust me baby, if you even look at another woman, I will cut of those damn 10 inches the surgeon gave to you and ram it up your ass, if I hear you talking to a woman in a sexy way, you will be history, does that sound possessive to you? Let us have no more mention of my being possessive, because I am not, if you think I am, then you need to change the way you think, you will be in the US where things are different, and money will not be a problem for us, so get over your preconceived ideas of possessivness, or again, your balls will be mine.

Baby, I love you so much, I can't wait to be with you, luther is doing real good now, but the doctors want to give it a few more days just to make certain he is ok to travel, our flights are booked for July 10th, then we will be back in the US and we can finally be together when you arrive for the recording, this is going to be so great, I can't believe I have met such a nice man as you, just cut out the crap about me being possessive and we will get along just fine.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Posted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 7:14 pm

^^^ IF I was your Lad and read that I would be afraid....very afraid

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 12:28 am

@SP

OUCH!

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 3:30 am

Heck! Scared the you-know-what out of him. Razz

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 3:42 am

^^^ OMG... I for one have just taken measures to insure my balls... lest Br4ndie gets her hands on them!

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 6:15 am

She doesn't sound at all possessive to me..... Laughing

Posted: Thu Jul 05, 2007 10:51 am

Your lad is not only going to have a phobia about the imminent great flood, but now knives as well; firstly his surgical "enhancement", Brandie scorned and finally (the one he doesn't know about - yet) what the rest of the choir will do to him when this concludes.

Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 7:05 am

Youch!

This is an amazing bait SP - keep up the great work! Very Happy

Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 8:54 am

That'll leave the lad dangling on the horns of dilemma, no more thoughts on getting some horns on the side, eh?

Posted: Tue Jul 10, 2007 8:57 am

I'm looking forward to the next update on this one.

Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2007 6:20 am

OK, SP. It's been almost 10 days days since the last update. I think I speak for many of us here when I ask: "What's going on?" We need to know. He hasn't twigged, has he? It's a wonder that he's jumped through all these hoops, and I keep thinking that someday, somehow, he's going to get a reality check of some sort! Let us know, OK?
Thanks Smile

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

@ Pug, he often goes long periods of time without emailing, so I'm not worried at this point, although his videos are listed on some Nigerian sites now, so there is always the possibility that someone might recognise someone, if that happened I'm sure he would have sent threatening/curse emails to my characters by now, Brandie has sent him a short email asking if he's ok:

Quote:

Hiya baby,

You have not mailed me for such a long time, is everything ok? I really miss your contact, please mail me again soon.

I am now back in the US with Luther, he still has to take things real easy for a while, but at least we are back on home soil again, it feels sooooo good to be home again.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Aha, the lad has replied at last after 12 days with no contact, apparently his dad has been ill again. His mother wants Brandie to teach her how to speak proper American English Laughing

, and xxxxx wants to know my measurements so he can have clothing made for me to bring to the US with him, so that I can look African in the clothes, he mentions that he abhors extravagancy, no doubt that was because I said I will take $200,000 from our joint bank accout for a party if I want to Smile

Things are coming along nicely, it will soon be time for Eliza to do her usual magic phone work on him, so we can get some good audio of the bastard, god knows what Eliza will get up to with him on the phone Twisted Evil

:

Quote:

Subject: HOME SWEET HOME!

My Love,

I would have replied your last mail but, I had to leave urgently to the village to see my sick father. He is very ill with diabetes and hypertension. It is about eight hours drive. But, with the rains it took almost the whole 24 hours to get to the village and to come back. I came back to the city yesternight.

Do you really mean you are now in your own sweet home again after about four to five months away from home? And best still, Luther made the trip without any eventuality through the flight. I am very happy to hear this. How is he? I mean the BIG BOY Luther himself! As you said, it is just a matter of time he will be fully incharge of all that is around him. Extend my happiness to him and also tell him that all of over here are also very happy to hear that he really doing fine. TO GOD BE THE GLORY. WE WILL GIVE A THANKSGIVING SERVICE IN OUR CHURCH ON SUNDAY.

My Love, after going through your previous mail, I told myself that I have really gotten someone who would not want to share me with any other woman. I heard all that you said. But, if I shouldn't look at any woman, I hope you would not look at any other man. I am a jealous man to the core. I never shared a girlfriend in my life not to mention of my wife. I hate it. So, if we should be satisfied with each other, what is it that I will be looking for in another woman that is not in you, MY LOVE! I will take care of you the much my strength would allow me. But, I abhour extravagancy! I will always make sure you are happy, but, remember that my happiness should be your concern too. I believe that two people that loves each other are bound to see to the happiness of each other. I would never be a bore to anybody, and would not want any one to be a bore to me. So, by the time we come to know each other more, we shall really make things work out well.

Look after yourself for me. Also make sure you remain a good PA to Luther. That reminds me. What part of the US are my coming to? You know all these while you have not mentioned it. And, please, what is the recording name of Luther's studio? When is Luther expecting us in the US? Ahaaah! What part of US are you from? How large is your family? You know we have to know each other very well. You told me you would call me if I send my pictures, you seem to have forgotten it. Or now that you are back in the US, can you send your number so that I can call you.

My Love, can you send me your measurement... that is for ladies tops and long carribean skates! I want to make some for you over here and bring them along when coming. I want you to look African in the wonderful attire I will make for you. Even the members of the choir will put on some of these wonderful clothens. Can you give me the measurements? I hope you would!

I will have to leave now. I hve been busy since morning here. Since my absence, things have been accumulating, seeking for attention. I'll leave you here hoping to hear from you my Love.

Lastly, I told my parents about you. They sent their greetings to you. My Mum said that you will teach her how to speak english in the real American way! So, till I hear from you. I love you and will never stop except you tell me to....

With all my Love,

xxxxx.

He also sent 5 emails to GWB with the photos, names, addresses, phone numbers and email addresses of all the choir members who are going to the US, and the same details for their next of kins, there were 46 choir members on the list, it must have been confusing for him as he made several errors whilst scanning photos and doing the list. He seems to be under the impression the Luther will be fully recovered in a few days, and be ready to go out playing football Laughing

, or maybe that is a common phrase over there in Nigeria Question

Quote:

Subject: THANKS TO GOD FOR LUTHER!!!

Your Excellency,

It has been a hectic time for me all these while. I would have written you before now but, I had to travel to the village to attend to my sick father. Actaully, he sent for me. It was all about his sickness. He is very sick... hypertension and diabetes miletus. That was why I have not written all these while. I do not have access to the internet in the village. I came back to Lagos yesternight.

I got a mail from Brandie! She said that Luther and she has gone back to the US! That is indeed a great news. God heard our prayers. Although he still requires sometime to rest, that he made it from the UK to the US is a great jump indeed. It is now a matter of few days and he will start playing football. Glory be to God in the highest. I am very happy about this. I told some of the choir members when I read the mail and they were very happy. We will do a thankgiving service in our church thanking God for this great favour he is doing for us. To God be the glory.

I will send in the complete names of the member of the choir that would be coming to the US after I have sent this mail now. I wouldn't waste much time to rejoice with Luther for going back to the US... home soil... Home is always sweet. May God continue to heal him, to protect him and make him more than what he is now. He is blessed.

I request to end this mail here so that I will send in the complete list.

Yours sincerely,

xxxxx xxxxx.

His email with the list of names:

Quote:

Subject: THE COMPLETE NAMES.

Your Excellency,

Below are the comrehensive list of the names of the members that will be making the journey to the US both old and new. The attached pictures belong to the newly added names that replaced the deleted names. The pictures of the old members were not sent as you instructed... they are in the file as you said. The newly added names are placed towards the end of the list. The names of the choir members that will not make the journey did not appear in this list, they are only in the old list. In other words, this current list is the real list that we will work with.

HERE ARE THEY:

[details of 46 choir members and details of their next of kins snipped]

Sir,

Till I hear from you.

There were 3 other emails from him with lists of choir members, but he made a mistake somewhere and sent this last email with all the names again, along with a photo of every member of the choir Laughing

:

Quote:

Subject: THERE WAS A GRAVE MISTAKE IN THE FIRST ATTACHMENT.

Sir,

I discovered that there was a very silly mistake in the attachment of the pictures of the newly added members. I had to resend this mail to make sure that they are properly attached.

I am sorry for the mistake. I will have to leave now waiting to hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

xxxxx xxxxx.

Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 10:39 pm

A photo album! What fun.

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 4:42 am

Quote:

...can you send me your measurement... that is for ladies tops and long carribean skates!

Is he thinking hockey here, or short-track speedskating...?

Posted: Tue Jul 17, 2007 5:28 am

@Bait Voyeur
ROFL Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Brandie has replied to the lad, I have asked for his number again so that Eliza can hopefully give him a call. As his mother wants to learn to speak English in the real American way, I gave him some phrases for her to practice, and also for him to practice, so Brandie can test him when he has to say them on the phone Very Happy

Quote:

Hiya baby,

Oh baby, I'm sorry to hear about your dad being sick, I hope he feels better soon, give him my love.

Yes, we are now back in the US, home sweet home, it's so nice to be back. Luther made the journey without any major problems, his head did wobble a bit during the flight, but it didn't swell and explode, which is good, but as I told you before, he will still need to recuperate for a short while before he goes back to work, as is expected afer all he has been through, after all, he did nearly die from his injury.

I have been so busy since I got back, many things to do after being away for so long, that's why I am late replying to your email, sorry about that my little baby boy.

What's this you mention about abhoring extravagancy, are you suggesting that I am extravagant? All I said to you was, if I want to spend a couple of hundred thousand dollars on a party for my girlfriends, that's what I will do, what's the big problem, you will probably be earning hundreds of millions of dollars when you are famous, so a couple of hundred thousand for a party is nothing, when you are a star, you have to live like a star, all the big stars spend like a million dollars and more on the parties they give, hell, even weddings cost upwards of 3 million dollars when someone famous gets married, just chill out baby, I wont be bleeding the bank account dry, we could live of the interest made on the millions, do you have any idea how much the bank pays in interest on $100 million dollars? You have so much to learn about money, be as extravagant as you like, there will be so much money you will never be able to spend it all, plus you can't spend it if you are dead, and who knows, you might get killed in a drive by shooting, so enjoy the money while you can.

When you come to the US, you will more than likely be going to New York, as that is the place where one of the recording studios that Luther uses most, is based, you will love it in New York, it's a great city to live and work in, but after we get married, I want us to move to Texas, I was born there and it's where I want to live, I have already started looking for a property there for us to have as our marital home, most of the properties cost about $5 million dollars, which we will easily be able to afford with the money you will be making from your music and the new movie.

Baby, I can't find your phone number, and I can't be bothered going through all of your previous emails to find it, so send it to me again and I will give you a call, as soon as I receive it.

What the hell are those clothes called "carribean skates" that you mention, I have never heard of those before, please explain what they are? I'm not sure I like what you're saying about wanting me to look African, I am American and I always will be, you can't change the way I look, I love Africa, but there is no way on earth would I dress the way African women do, so please don't try to impose dress style on me, I'm not having it, ok!

Please pass my love on to your mum and dad, and I would be pleased to teach your mum how to speak the real American way, can she speak English already, or just African languages? Here are some common American words and phrases for her to practice saying:

Those are just a few for now, get her to repeat them and when we meet I will teach her how to say them in an American accent, so that she doesn't sound like someone who is from out of town, it will help her to fit in well. I also want you to learn those phrases as well, trust me, I will test you on them when I phone you, ok.

I have to dash now, I am going to get my nails and hair done, I found a new salon to go to and they only charge $1500 for my hair and nails, how cool is that, it usually costs me over $2000 to have it done. Just think, when we are married, I can afford to have my hair and nails done every 3 days like most American women do Smile

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 2:25 pm

Hahahah, every three days, you are going to panic that poor lad.

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 6:41 pm

awwwww wait until Brandie starts buying handbags....LOL Gotta have one for every outfit, right?

And shoes......

LOL

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Dec 2005 Posts: 3551

Brandie is always sticking a pin in him. Drive-by shooting, ha, ha! If they move to Texas, he MUST say "y'all" and "How you doin'?"

Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 11:49 pm

Quote:

I would never be a bore to anybody

How true, how true Laughing

Quote:

but there is no way on earth would I dress the way African women do, so please don't try to impose dress style on me, I'm not having it, ok!

Aw.. I was looking forward to seeing the clothes Very Happy

Can't you compromise and just agree to the Carribean Skates?

Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 12:12 am

SP.

Wow, Brandie sounds really offended by the "carribean skates". Maybe your lad should burn a nice one to make ammends and to show that he's not so tight with the money. Laughing

Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 7:32 am

@Scam Patroller
Instead of this:

Quote:

1) Yo, wassup my man.
2) Can I have extra pickle on that.
3) Hey bartender, where are the nuts.
4) Dohhh (it's pronounced as "dough")
5) Get real you loser.
6) Who is your daddy and what does he do.
7) I need more doughnuts.

Wouldn't this be more appropriate?

Quote:

1) Yo, wassup mah man.
2) Can meh haz extra pickle on that.
3) Hey bartender, where iz da nuts.
4) Dohhh (it�s pronounced as "dough")
5) Get real ya�ll loser.
6) hoo iz ya�lls daddy an� wa�tch does he do.
7) meh need more doughnuts.

Or maybe this:

Quote:

1) yo ,wassup mah man.
2) can meh haz extra pickle on dat.
3) mister man bartender, wie iz da nuts, ok?
4) dohhh (it�s pronounced as "dough")
5) get real ya�ll loser.
6) hoo iz ya�lls daddy an� wa�tch do e do.
7) meh need more doughnuts.

Just a suggestion. Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

GWB has not sent the lad a reply for 8 days, so it's about time he did, I thought I would mention to him about how the producer was scammed by a Nigerian a couple of years ago, so that when GWB tells him to go to hell, he would still be hoping for the record deal, but now what will the producer think when he hears he is a scammer, all he will have then is Brandie, or will he, who knows what will happen, I have not got to those parts yet, although I know the ending Very Happy

:

Quote:

Dear xxxxx xxxxx,

Thank you for your email.

My apologies for not replying to your email sooner, I have been snowed under with work lately, and on top of that, on Saturday, I had to have surgery to remove some polpys from my colon, fortunately, the polyps were not cancerous, but they are a worry as I have had them several times before.

During my operation, I was no longer the President of the United States of America, I handed power over to Vice-President, Dick Cheney, for just over two hours, it was two hours and five minutes to be exact, just while I underwent the surgery, I reassumed my authority shortly after the surgical procedure, as soon as I had regained conciousness.

I see you had a few problems sending the correct list of choir members, but as always, you got it right in the end, I have taken note of all the details and will soon be getting your presidential passes made up for when you visit the US.

On the subject of coming to the US, have you had any more news from Brandie about the producer? I had an email from Brandie saying they were back in the US, but I have not heard a whole lot more since that time. What's this I hear about you and Brandie getting together, is there something serious going on between you two?

I have it on good authority that wedding bells are in the air, is that correct? If that is correct, I am very surprised by this news, mainly because you have not yet met each other, have you been emailing each other a lot since I introduced you to her by giving you her email address?

xxxxx, there is something you need to be made aware of, as you know, Luther is Brandie's Godfather, and whilst he has nothing personal against Nigerians in general, as has been proven by him wanting you to record this song, he was scammed by someone in Nigeria about 2 years ago, I think he lost about $80,000 to the 419 scammer who conned him, it was some sort of music deal if I remember correctly.

Being Brandies Godfather, he looks out for her all the time, so when you finally get to meet him, let him know your intentions towards Brandie are purely from love, and that you will do nothing to hurt her or let her down by using her in some way, it's just that since he got scammed, he is always suspicious of the motives of people, it's nothing personal, it's just the way he is now since the scam, I thought I would let you know about that in advance so that you are prepared for any questions he might throw at you!

I still have a lot of work to catch up with, keep me up to date on everything that is happening with you.

Sincerely,

Gxxxxx W Bxxx.

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