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 Questions from the In-Laws!

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Spudz
Elite Baiter


Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 1177
Location: --4--


PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 2:45 am Reply with quoteBack to top

toilet humour is the easiest and most gratifying!!! but it can be way too easy at times, i try and have a flick through viz when i`m stuck with my baits, but how can i get a scammer to buy Ant &Dec insurance? or lose weight by getting into more debt? (Fret Debt, Sh1t out those extra lbs while waiting for our specially trained diet debt counsellor bailiffs to beat down your door)


Last edited by Spudz on Mon Jan 08, 2007 5:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
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kleindoofy
*** BANNED ***


Joined: 24 Oct 2004
Posts: 6248
Location: Europe


PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 2:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

SamSpudz wrote:
toilet humour is the easiest and most gratifying!!! ...


Well, yes. However, after you have reached puberty it gets pretty boring. Confused
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Spudz
Elite Baiter


Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 1177
Location: --4--


PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 2:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

kleindoofy wrote:

Well, yes. However, after you have reached puberty it gets pretty boring. Confused


for some, yeah, but sure the world don`t move to the beat of just one drum, what might be right for you might not be right for some....
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iMike
cherry trifle


Joined: 21 Jan 2005
Posts: 1371
Location: Ministry of Serendipity


PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 5:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Do you use a shared jizz bucket?


Just spat cheese over the monitor. Laughing

Red Leicester if anyone's interested.

_________________
-- Goat Goat Easter Egg

Closed lad accounts x2

"you have luke worm in your brain" - Ekaetta Bello
"invite me to your country and let me clearify your legitimacy asshole" - Mose5 Uzem3
"the transfer was not authorized due to my persistent double mind" - Clement Wank
"this is not the time to play planks" - Mack Anthony

WIFI PDA - post while you dump
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Dareth Ioggmao
Master Baiter


Joined: 18 Dec 2006
Posts: 174
Location: Somewhere In Time


PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 5:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

~Narcissa Malfoy,

www.turdwords.com (No, I don't have that memorized, this is thanks to my previous google.)

Baltimore Blowfish
Indian Teabag
Gentleman's Handshake

(Man, I'm disgusting!)
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Spudz
Elite Baiter


Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 1177
Location: --4--


PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 5:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

nice one, i`m sorted for all that, i`ve been reading viz for about 17 years now!! and i`ve got Roger Mellies Profanisaurus calander to hand, if you haven`t already, check out www.viz.co.uk

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Javed Main:I received your e-mail message but cannot read very well due to the injection I took last night/Please for Gods sake i would'nt like you to address my bank as feck/You are a priest and you are bold enough to tell me that you took 3 bottles of the finest whiskey/Please i am not ready to take more of your insult.

NIGERIA HE GOAT
IF YOU EVER SEND THIS TYPE OF THINGS TO MY EMAIL;; I WILL SHOW MY SELF TO YOU BASTAD NIGERIA HE GOAT....F*CK OFF AND DIE OF UNGER


YOU ARE SUCH A NONENTITY, I NEVER KNEW PEOPLE LIKE YOU STILL IN EXISTENCE. WHAT AN INGLORIOUS BASTARD ARE YOU?

Closed lad accounts x 10-2x33/8 you do the hokey cokey and you turn around and that's what it's all about
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Narcissa Malfoy
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 31 Dec 2006
Posts: 88
Location: Hell in a handbasket


PostPosted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 2:58 am Reply with quoteBack to top

[email protected] Ioggmao: I just sprayed Coke all over my monitor. Remind me NOT to make further attempts at drinking when I'm reading this thread!

And while you're at it, type in "Abracadabra" on the Urban Dictionary.
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Dareth Ioggmao
Master Baiter


Joined: 18 Dec 2006
Posts: 174
Location: Somewhere In Time


PostPosted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 4:34 am Reply with quoteBack to top

And like a bad train wreck, I HAD to look! I'm going to the special hell. The one for people who talk at the movies. I'll save you a seat. Smile

_________________
" I anticipate your unalloyed co-operation" - Gabriel Zigamur
"If i do not hear from you by then..I would have to do what i have to do..cos nobody runs away with my money.." - James Weir
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Dart
Master Baiter


Joined: 13 Jul 2005
Posts: 186
Location: GA


PostPosted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 6:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

My (then future) wife's father when I "asked permission:" by way of saying "reckon I'm gonna keep her; I think she'll have me:"

Big Southern Drawl:

Are you raht in the haid? (in the sense of asking "are you mentally unstable, which means I will have to beat the hell out of you if you mistreat my daughter.")

"Yessir, I do my best." (right answer)

and

She ain't gonna move all that much further away, raht?

"Nossir, Lord willing, nossir." (right answer with the appropriate caveat)

Church.

"I'm a bit backslidden, longer on faith than religion, you might say. More reading than going." (Big deal clincher. I'm American Standard Catholic (Mass as required - once a year), and her family is Southern Baptist.

No questions on background, etc., as I had courted (as opposed to date) the woman when I finally got my shot, and as such had met her parents beforehand and established, with references, both my background and financial wherewithall. This was pretty easy, as my wife and I had gone to High School together in a small rural county.

The measure of the man to marry your daughter can be summed up in one question, though:

"I got a terrible boil on my ass. Would you get it for me? There's some sharp knives in the kitchen."

If he agrees, he's a no-go. Any man that would be that servile won't have the self-confidence to be a decent husband.

If he becomes outraged or offended, he's a no-go. Either he's too prideful or a squeemish pansy, and there may be infants that need looking after.

If he laughs it off and declines with a raised eyebrow (or an offer to "maybe do it some other time when I'm too drunk to know better") then he's probably okay. Chances are he's smart enough to know you're jerking his chain or that he'll be bringing his own silverware to Christmas dinner from now on.

Smile

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I'm not so much a vampire as a mosquito.
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