It's amazing what a slap will do...

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Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 1:10 pm

was recently convinced by of the Nigerian Petroleum Trust to apply for payment as a contractor. She's a 23-year-old photomodel with a distinct resemblance to Sophie Monk... yeah, I'd believe that...

After the standard bogging-down over lawyers and their fees, Eliza decided she wasn't happy:

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I want two things; a one-paragraph summary of why I need a lawyer (as in what he has to do), and some actual proof that the money exists.

After one long-winded reply from the Lad, Eliza was feeling snippy:

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That's too bad. No proof means I bail. Proof and I'm good to go.

The Lad replied:

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THANK YOU FOR YOUR REPLY. HOWEVER, I AM AN HONESTMAN AND CANNOT TELL YOU OR GIVE YOU ANYTHING THAT IS NOT ORIGINAL, THE DOCUMENTS THAT WILL SHOW YOU THE PROOF OF THE FUND CANNOT BE ISSUED UNTIL EITHER YOU OR THE LAWYER START THE PROCESSING. IT IS YOUR LAWYER THAT CAN PROVE THE FACTS TO YOU OTHERWISE , IF I AM A CHEAT I CAN PREPARE SOMETHING AND GIVE YOU AS A PROOF BUT I CANNOT DO THAT BECAUSE I AM NOT TRAINED TO DECEIVE PEOPLE.
THE PROOF THAT I CAN GIVE IS JUST THE FACTS ABOUT THE CONTRACT FUND WHICH MAY MEAN NOTHING TO YOU AS YOU CAN NOT UNDERSTAND IT EXCEPT YOUR LAWYER OR WHEN YOU TAKE IT TO THE FOREIGN CONTRACT SECTION OF PTF.

Eliza's temper flared (as it usually does):

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Listen you arrogant prick, you say I can't understand the contract. Are you saying that because I'm a woman, or because I earn a living through being photographed, or both?
Well, listen up, I am not some bimbo! You must have some paperwork somewhere which proves the absolute reality of what you're saying. Scan it, send it, and then we'll move on, but not before then!
One more thing - when you find the documents, write your name on each page, sign it, and date it before scanning it in.

Well, he took that on the chin:

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I GOT YOUR MAIL, HOWEVER, I CAN SEE YOUR APPREHENSION, AND I WILL GO TO THE FOREIGN SECTION OF THE PTF TO SEE IF I CAN OBTAIN A COPY OF THEIR OFFICIAL GAZETT SCHEDULE OF THEIR CONTRACTORS WHOSE PAYMENT ARE OUTSTANDING. I HOPE AND PRAY THAT THEY WILL RELEASE IT TO ME
ON REQUEST AS IT IS CLASSIFIED DOCUMENT.AS THAT IS A SCHEDULE THAT CONTAINS ALL NAMES OF CONTRACTORS THAT ARE AWAITING THEIR CONTRACT PAYMENTS.
SO ,SOON AS I GET IT I WILL SCAN IT AND SEND IT AS YOU HAVE DIRECTED FOR YOUR PERUSAL.

Let's see if he does as Eliza says - BTW, if he does as ordered, would that be a trophy?

Posted: Fri Jan 05, 2007 3:08 pm

^^^^^ I'm not sure I'd call it a trophy, but I would call it a good sign that he thinks he has a real victim.

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