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 How low? Vlad limbo. NSFW language

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somejerk
Master Baiter


Joined: 12 Dec 2006
Posts: 104
Location: Between my computer and chair


PostPosted: Tue Dec 26, 2006 6:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm meeting Nadya in Paris soon. To get my passport approved by the government, my very expensive and picky health/life insurance provider has to give me the go ahead to leave the country. But OOPS I let slip to them that I am meeting a woman in Paris.

Now she has to fill out the ITWIC, or International Travel With Intent to Copulate form verifying her health.

After twice refusing/not being able to print fill out and scan a pdf, I sent it as a zipped HTML file with explicit instructions to print it, fill it out, and scan it. She copied it into an email and filled out most of it on her computer. GAAHH.

So now I need an excuse to kick it up a notch and make her fill out an even worse form, correctly.

Quote:
Hello my dear Johnathan!
How are you? I am glad to read your letter.

I shall send to you this form. I have filled in it.
Very much it was not pleasant for me, but I hope that it will help you.
I think that we very soon shall together, my love Johnathan!

Privacy Statement: BCI INSURANCE RESPECTS THE PRIVACY
OF ITS CLIENTS AND THEIR PARTNERS. INFORMATION WILL BE COLLECTED
FOR USE ONLY WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF CLIENT'S INSURANCE POLICY.
INFORMATION WILL NOT BE SOLD OR USED FOR ANY OTHER PURPOSE.
COLLECTED INFORMATION WILL BE VIEWED OBJECTIVELY WITHIN APPROPRIATE CONTEXT.
INFORMATION MUST BE GIVEN TRUTHFULLY.


PLEASE PRINT LEGIBLY

Name of Policy Holder: _____________________________________________________
Policy #: ________________________________________________________________
Name of partner: Nadya Zhdanova
Address of partner: Street Molodezhnaya 16 apt. 6
City, State, Country of partner: Russia, Cheboksary, Chuvashia
Telephone number of partner: ____
Sexual orientation of partner: Tradition

The following information will be seen only by a registered doctor and pertains to the partner.

Age: 26
Weight: 61 kg
Height: 173 sm
Ethnicity best described as: Caucasion (White)

Age at first sexual encounter: 21
Describe circumstances and partner: I was on the birthday, and it was with my best friend.
Total number of sexual partners: 2
Have you ever had to see a doctor regarding sexual problems?: ________
If yes, describe: _____________________________________________________________________________________ _________
Date of most recent sexual encounter: 21/12/2005
Did you enjoy it?: Yes
Explain your answer: _____________________________________________________________________________________
Have you ever had unprotected sex?: no
Have you ever had protected sex?: yes
If you answered yes to both previous questions, which did you enjoy more? __________________
Explain your answer: _____________________________________________________________________________________
Which sexual positions have you experienced? (Circle all that apply):

Missionary (man on top)
yes
Inverted Missionary (woman on top)

Rear-entry

The Butterfly
Yes
The Perfumed Garden

Anal (from any position)

The Cowgirl
Yes
The Reverse Cowgirl

Standing

Have you ever given oral sex?: Yes
Have you ever received oral sex?: Yes
Have you ever given a rusty trombone:? No
Have you been rimmed in the past 6 (six) months?: No
Have you ever attended a Roman orgy?: No
Are you addicted to pornography?: no
Why not?: Because it don't to like me
Do you masturbate regularly?: No
At what age did you begin masturbating?: 18
Have you ever masturbated with foreign objects?: No
Describe the objects: ___________________________________________ _______
Have you ever masturbated to multiple orgasms?: No
Describe your ideal man: I would like to find the person which would love me and respected,
which loves children, Validly concerns to people and has sense of humour.
I do not know as still it is possible
To describe which person I would like to find, ideal people do not happen.
When I meet such person I at once I shall understand it!!! Write to me,
I shall be very glad!!!

Have you ever had sex with a person known to have AIDS or any other sexually transmitted disease?: No
Explain your answer: Because it to not like me

Will you be menstruating at the expected time of intercourse with policy holder?: No
Have you ever engaged in bisexual experimentation?: No
Explain your answer: _____________________________________________ _
Do you intend to marry the policy holder?: Probably
How many times (estimate) do you intend to have sex with the policy holder?: 3 times a week
Have you ever had sex for money?: no
Describe your typical orgasm: ________________________________ __________________________
Do you ever experience pain during sex?: No
Do you ever experience pain after sex?: No

Do you believe you may be at risk for any reason for transferring
sexual diseases to the policy holder? (Circle one): YES NO/



Signature: NadyaZhda
Date: 26/12/2006

I shall wait for your letter......
Yours Nadya!
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Dareth Ioggmao
Master Baiter


Joined: 18 Dec 2006
Posts: 171
Location: Somewhere In Time


PostPosted: Wed Dec 27, 2006 3:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
How many times (estimate) do you intend to have sex with the policy holder?: 3 times a week


I think this is worth a slap. That's clearly not enough.

Oh, and what is "The Butterfly"? She seems to have done that one, as well as "The Cowgirl".

I would tell her the form was rejected because it does not have signature that they could compare with the signature on her photo ID, to verify it was really "her" filling out the form. Oh, and the next one should include pictures, or at least drawings of her favourite positions (maybe "The Butterfly" and "The Cowgirl"). Let's hope she's better at art than I am. You'd have no clue what my stick people are doing! Smile
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nikora
Master Baiter


Joined: 04 Dec 2006
Posts: 138


PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 4:31 am Reply with quoteBack to top

3 times a week ? Shocked Is she 26 or 56 ? I'd tell her I can't sleep or wake up without sex, and that I spend all sunday having sex.

You also should warn him... I mean her that she should expect to experience pain during sex. It's much more fun. And maybe introduce some weird kinks. Just googled "weird fantasies", found something about diapers. I'm not sure who should wear diapers but I guess that's weird enough. Not sure where you can find adult sized diapers though.

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Padme
#1 Moderator


Joined: 27 May 2005
Posts: 5022
Location: The Rebel Base


PostPosted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 8:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"rusty trombone" Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Connie L. Gus
Moderator


Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 6462
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow


PostPosted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 4:46 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hey, I can play this game "Dirty Sanchez". "Hot Carl" Embarassed

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