I lost my baiting virginity! Yay!

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Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 8:58 am

Hello, all! This is my first bait, and I was �ber-excited. I got help from a friend of mine who's only baited once before, but only for checking my emails before I sent them. Most of the time, he told me to take something out to make the mugu email me longer, but I think he eventually got sick of it.

My replies are stock full of Trey Parker and Matt Stone references. See if you can find them all!

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This email I received in my yahoo account, which is how he got my last name.
Attn:[my real last name],

I am M0MODU LUK3MAN (Esq.), a Solicitor. I am the Personal Attorney to
Mr. Fredrick [my real last name], a national of your country, who is an oil merchant in Nigeria. On the 21st of April 2001, my client, his wife and their two children were involved in a car accident along Sagbama Express Road Balyasa State, here in Nigeria. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost their lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has pr oven unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his
relatives over the Internet, but of no avail, hence I mandated my secretary to search for any possible relative of my late clients in the Internet before the bank get the account confiscated or declared unserviceable, the bank where the deceased had an account valued at about USD$12 million (TWELVE MILLION DOLLARS) The bank has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated within the next 14 working days. I then decided to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you are from the same country and bear the same surname. The said amount will be paid to you if you comply immediately with all the necessary documents of the deceased
in my possession. Immediately the money is paid to you, 60% of the total amount will be for me, 30% for you, while the remaining 10% should be for expenses or taxation as your government may required.

I have all the necessary legal documents that can be used to back up
our claim. All I required from you is your honest co-operation and
assistance to enable us sees this transaction through. I guarantee you that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. In other words, every document to affect this process will emanate from my table and I will perfect every document to be in accordance with the banking law and guidelines. So you have nothing to worry about, because we have all the legal documents to back it up when the fund is finally hits your chosen bank account.

Please be rest assured that this transaction is 100% risk-free. Note
that the particular nature of your company's business is irrelevant to this
transaction. If this proposal is acceptable by you, to assist me achieve this goal, please endeavour to contact me through my private email address {} for more clarification and your understanding in regards to this transaction.

Best regards,

BARR.M0MODU LUK3MAN (Esq.)

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I reply with a freshly baked gmail account. He didn't seem to notice he never emailed his scam to this email....

Dear M0modu,

Thank you so much for contacting me. It's terrible to hear about Frederick 's car crash, I imagine it was very horrific for all passengers to have died. I do not remember ever meeting Frederick myself, but I will try to help. I'm not sure what all I can do, so I will need your help. I'm not used to any legal business, myself.

Regards,

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A whole day later...

Dear .

This to acknowledge the receipt of your mail and the content are well noted, and also indicating your true interest to assist me achieve this goal. I contacted you to help repatriate this fund left behind by the deceased since I do not want the bank to freeze the account because of the non-appearance of his next of kin.

My main focus is to use my position and present you as the next of kin to the deceased and apply that his entitlement be transferred to you through the said legal processes. We shall start by sending a formal application to this effect. I will copy you with the text of the said claim and transfer application to this effect. Thereafter, the bank will request of you the relevant back up documents to your claim and application according to the demand of our probate law for transfer of inheritance. I am on the stand by to provide you with their requirements from the stock of documents, which is presently with me. Otherwise, I will facilitate our acquisition of any one demanded outside my possession. Once we have provided the Bank with their demands, they would now be under legal obligation to transfer the funds to your submitted bank account. In as much as I have assured you that some of the documents of claim are in my position, there are some which will have to be acquired through legal procedures as the application of claim will be complimented with a legal award we shall have to seek from our law Court here. You are not to worry about this, as I will use my professional competence and Influence to acquire all the legal relevant documents of claim.

Be assured that the procedures to be adopted in effecting the transfer in your favor will be official and legal which will protect us from any breach of the law now and after the transfer though this transaction requires confidentiality. Above all, I personally count on the will and blessing of the almighty God to facilitate our plan and understanding, to produce not just success, but also peaceful sharing of the funds at the end of the day and a healthy family business relationship thereafter. I also pray for establishment of cordial relationship between us, God being our helper.

It's very important that you send your accurate telephone/fax numbers as it is needed for constant communication in regards to this transaction, your private email address for confidentiality matters, your contact mailing address, your real age,and your occupation.

With all the requested information's above it will enable me proceed to the federal ministry of justice and other appropriate agencies to secure all the necessary vital documents in your favor and proceed to the inland bank Nigeria Plc where my late client deposited this fund to submit the secured vital documents to the bank for them to contact you directly to update you on their modalities to transfer this fund into your nominated bank account as the bona-fide beneficiary of this fund to Mr.Fredrick , and as the next of kin and inheritance. I want to use this profound opportunity to inform you that l have done my home work perfectly all right for the successful implementation of this transaction before l contacted you for your unalloyed co-operation and assistance to make this deal a huge success. so you have nothing to worry about, as l will commence action immediately on receipt of the requested details to enable me facilitate the process of this transaction.surely l will call you if l receive your number today for more discussion,clarification and your understanding based on this project.

Feel free to reach me on my telephone number:234 80 34963211 for more clarification and your understanding.

Regards to your Family.

Thanks and GOD bless.
BARR.M0MODU LUK3MAN.

I have the creeping suspicion that he's sent this email out many times and has had the opportunity to clean up his English in his first two scripts...call it a gut instinct.

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Dear M0modu,

Thank you for your speedy reply. First of all, I am very uncomfortable with how often you mention God. I am a solid atheist, and I find God to be a stupid concept and should never be brought up in legal actions.

As for my personal information, I am 42 and a nurse assistant at Dr. Thompson Rhinoplasty Clinic. Unfortunately, we have had a terrible snow storm that has taken down our telephone lines recently. This means that the fax and telephone lines won't be up and running for days, maybe weeks, depending on the weather. This email is confidential, so its use will be perfectly fine. Will a picture be needed? I suspect the bank may ask for one.

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Dear Sister .

Thanks so much for your response, am absolutely sorry to go against your believe.
Once again l wish commiserate with you over the terrible snow storm you experience that has cause a damage in your home.l am quite optimistic in distance no time the problem will be definitely ratified.

l wish to bring to your notice that l am in the receipt of your real age and occupation as a nurse,before l proceed to the high court to secure all the necessary legal documents l advice that you send your mailing address to me,so as to enable me commence action in securing all the legal documents that will prove you legal and legitimate as the beneficiary of this fund.

As soon as the telephone and fax number is restored then you can furnish me with the accurate telephone number to enable me reach you always for more clarification towards the success of this project.

As soon as l receive your mailing address,l will immediately swing into action,first thing Monday morning l will start the process of securing all the necessary legal documents in the high court which will take me one or two days which after that l will proceed to the first inland bank Nigeria Plc where my late client deposited this fund to submit the legal documents to the bank for them to contact you directly to update you on their modalities to transfer this fund into your bank account as the next of kin and inheritor after their due verification of all the legal documents l submitted to them.

l will also use my position as a lawyer and my money to perfect you before the bank as the true beneficiary of this fund,so all l need from you is your total co-operation and assistance to achieve this goal as anticipated.

l have also decided to send you my family photograph for you to know the kind of personality you are dealing with.

Waiting for your response!

Best Regards.
Barr.Momodu Lukeman

He attaches this lovely photograph....and it's tiny...I shall use this as a fun tool Twisted Evil

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Dear M0mudo,

I appreciate that you will respect my beliefs. The snow really came down on Monday! We've gotten almost three feet of snow layered with ice. It's horrible! I sure hope our heater holds out. I'll attach some pictures of me and my family too, just in case the court or bank asks.

The first picture is of me, my son Melvin (isn't he handsome!), and my dear husband Don. It was taken by the visitor's center at Yellowstone from our trip there last year. They wouldn't let us take a camera into the park because it could excite the moose.

The second picture is of my twin boys, Mitch and Melvin! I'm so proud of them.

The last picture is of one of my cats, Mr. Bojangles! He just loves that little costume. Doesn't he look adorable?

Your picture, however, is minuscule. Are there two or three men in that picture, and which one are you? How are you related to these people and what are their names? I would love to know for my New Years slide show that I do every year! I think it's just neat how I'm in contact with someone all the way over in Nigeria!

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Dear ,

With love and humility l wish to inform you that you have a lovely and beautiful family, your husband is truly a handsome man while your daughter is absolutely humble and pretty.

My family photograph l have sent you last week, l find out from your message to me that you did not be able to recognize me, the man in the middle is me, while my daughter is in my right hand while my beautiful wife is by my left.

Please go ahead and send your mailing address to me immediately to enable me proceed to the high court to secure all the necessary legal documents. Already l have your real age and occupation. As soon as your telephone and fax number is restored in good working condition, please do not hesitate to send the number to me to enable me always reach you in respect to the logical conclusion of this project.

Have a blissful moment!!
Barr.M0modu Luk3man.

He DID NOT just call one, or both, of my sons a daughter! Evil or Very Mad

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M0modu,

I am deeply offended that, with very adequate photographs of members of my family, you would call either of my sons a daughter. I made the mistake of thinking that one of the women in your family picture was male, but with such a small picture and my eyes not being what they used to be, it is understandable. You would have to be legally blind to call either of my sons female, and at that point, would not even be able to read my emails.

I will have to request that you send a larger photograph of yourself, because all trust that I have had in you is dwindling because of your comment. And, to be doubly sure that it is indeed a photograph of you, you must hold a sign with a specified word that is uncommon so that I know it is you and not a random picture that you found on the internet. I will not send any more information about myself without this photograph of you holding a sign. The word on the sign will be decided on a later date, for I'm being called back to work. Please understand that I can not trust a blind lawyer to be making decisions about my money half the world away.

Attached is another photograph of my SONS, Melvin and Mitch. It is their senior picture, and it is quite obvious that they are male.

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He doesn't reply for two days, so I try to get his attention again.

Dear M0modu,

You would be glad to know our phone lines are up and running again. However, since you have not replied, I will not give the number to you until I receive an email with an apology for calling Mitch or Melvin a daughter. Also, before I send you more information, I require that you are holding a sign (as I have stated in my previous email to you). The word I want on the sign in your picture is "Choda Boy". This is the name of one of my cats, so I will know that this picture is from you to me. It's a nonsense combination of words that just sounded like a good name for my special kitty (an adorable picture of him is attached). Please respond as soon as you can with the picture so that I can feel safe enough to send you my number and address.

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The next day, I get the EXACT SAME scam email in my yahoo account again. Only a few small details were changed: the amount of money, the scammer's name, and my family member is now Mr. W. [my real last name]. So, being the idiot that I am, I replied to the exact same scam mail with the exact same reply from the exact same gmail account, with some details thrown in to make it look like I actually read the new mail. The next day, I get this email from M0modu:

Dear .

I receive your message but was very reluctant to respond to your e-mail. Please l find out your very skeptical and bias of mind regarding the legality of this project, base on that if you are not willing please do not hesitate to quiet and stop sending me a message.
Am okay with all form of your molestation and insult given to me base on your assumption and insinuation.

If you can not send the requested information to me so as to enable me proceed to the high court to secure the legal documents for the success of this project, please forget it.
Am a man of integrity and transparency that has a name to maintain in the society so l don�t want any trouble from any body.
Best Regards.
Barr.M0modu Luk3man.

Great. At first, I thought he was just not wanting to reply to a P.O.ed middle aged lady. A few minutes later, I was thinking my friend and mentor was correct....it was the same scammer. And I'm an idiot. I emailed him back, but as of 6 days from my last email to him, no reply. Sad

Dear M0modu,

Thank you for replying, I was starting to think the bank had confiscated the money. Please send the information I requested of you so that we can continue. I am a little reluctant to send you my information because you just can't be sure about these things. There are a lot of scammers out there, and I just don't want to be a victim, not that I don't trust you. I have sent photos of my cats to scammers before, and they give up after the first picture. This is how I know you are the real deal. Please, just send a photograph of yourself with a piece of paper that says "Choda Boy," just so that I know you are in complete cooperation with me as well. I don't want the bank to steal my money!

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Because of his lack of response, I'm now mad. And have sent him this email tonight. Maybe a little abuse will get another email.

As you are now aware, the two weeks that the bank threatened to close the account on has now passed. Thanks, ass. All that money is now gone. Fantastic lawyer work.

In retrospect, I asked for a trophy too soon. And I should have replied with a different email to the same scam or with a different email address. Ah well. You can't win them all. Hopefully I'll get a scammer that hasn't been baited before, as I'm sure this one has.

Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 10:55 am

Dear .

An idol is a devil workshop, am quite optimistic that you have nothing doing in your life as a human being that�s why you have all the plenty time to write rubbish, anyway l do not blame you because you are absolutely ignorant of the whole thing.

I forgive you because you do not know what you are doing.

Wishing you a happy and a blissful Xmas!!

Barr.M0modu Luk3man.

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I suppose he thought I was an American Idol? I'm not quite sure what he's talking about there. I'm replying with this:

M0modu,

As I do not believe in either a "God" or "Devil", I wasn't aware that worshiping idols automatically made you worship the devil, regardless of what religion one claims to be. I must ask, how does that apply to me?

And for your information, I am awake because I have to go in to work early today. One of our patients is not accepting his surgery very well. The amount of seepage is appalling. It's practically gushing everywhere. The poor guy. He's so nice too. He had quite a handsome face before his surgery, but he just wouldn't have it. Now he has this mess. That's the wonderful thing about being a nurse, I work all around the clock.

And I admitted that I had no idea what I was doing. Read my emails. I never claimed to know how legal matters occur, but I do know how a calendar works, and that the two week warning the bank gave is over. And it is all your fault because you would not cooperate. That's millions of dollars neither of us have.

And screw Christmas. As I do not claim any religion, Christmas is just an orgy of money being thrown at cooperate overlords and an excuse for people to be jerks the rest of the year. I feel sorry for every person, including you, that gets sucked into such a ruse.

Mind you, I really am not Christian, but I don't feel like that. It's whatever floats your boat and makes you happy, but one has to stick with their atheist script.

Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 4:22 pm

Ok, you lost your baiting virginity - - but did you practice safe baiting?

Bruin

Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 10:45 pm

I did! No scammer babies popping out of this baiter! Razz

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