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 A Very Long Winded Death Threat

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HankReardan
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 666
Location: Galt's Gulch


PostPosted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 10:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

If I were him, I'd be mad too. He wrote out Don Quixote and Gargantua by hand, had them bound, and FedExed them to me.

Funny thing is, he hasn't gotten paid

It really sucks to be him.


Quote:
MANDATE


MR.MIKE

It is my utmost pleasure and concern to let you know that after due consultations with my business associates and friends world wide, I decided to let you know my decisions as approved by them.


1. You should as a matter of urgency disclose your real identity.
2. You should start sending my money as agreed in my agreement with you before I commence the job.
3. You should send immediately the sum of $10,000 Dollars to my son in Holland as a starting point ,by his name XXXXX through Western Union .
4. Finally, if the above conditions are not met within one week, the under mentioned societies will take over from me for appropriate actions against you.

The following named societies has mandated me to inform you as started above,

THE BLOOD FOR BLOOD SOCEITY OF CALABAR
THE AXE BROTHERS
THE BENIN KINDOM
THE OGBONI FRATERNITY OF NIGERIA
O.O.O SOCEIRTY
THE ECKANKAR SOCEITY OF NIGERIA
ALERISHINA OF INDIA

I do not want to kill you that is why I am given you this grace but your failure to comply will mean doom for you and your group as well as your entire family.

This is a work you asked me to do and I did it with my sweat but you want to play with fire. I know that know pastor will pray for you, if you explain what you did to me, so you will realize that it is very good for one to be upright in everything one does.

I never duped any one since I was born, so if you try to dupe me, you will never succeed because my hand are very clean, and that is why, anything I might do to you now will work without wasting time.

I also have seven pastors who are praying against you if you fail to pay me for my sweat, I am an investor, though, I have many companies but I must abide by my associates decision.

They decided to follow it up after I complained to them about your behavior concerning my work with you, so you can see that they are the ones that will deal with you and not me.

I would have invited you to come over here and see things by yourself but as it stands now ,it is not possible, My senior lawyer will be coming to London any moment from now, while my senior secretary will be going to United States by January for some assignments ,so if you do not mind, he might visit you there. We do not just deal with anybody but we do tell whoever that we want to deal with to know that we want to deal with him or her because we are not cowards, so I rest my case here.

Please, this is to treat. But just a paying back time only if you fails.
DO NOT TOUCH THE LIONS TAIL, WHICH YOU DID.

PHILIP XXXXX

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814backwardsplus1
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Joined: 13 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 10:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

who wrote that letter and why?
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crashhoot
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Joined: 08 Aug 2004
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 10:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
O.O.O SOCEIRTY


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Wink


That death threat is a classic. Thumbs up Thumbs up

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Dan Druff
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Joined: 30 Nov 2005
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That is seriously funny, Hank Very Happy

Great death threat - hope you have a lot more fun with this lad.

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persephone
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The only problem here: how are you going to cram that into your siggy????

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419weasel
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hank.. I think you made him mad!! Laughing

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crashhoot
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I vote that the ban on large siggy's be waived in this case.

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ugumaru
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 17, 2006 11:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I would send him an email "Here is the payment" with this pic attached:
Image

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Scam Patroller
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 12:16 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Funny stuff, Hank Laughing Laughing

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Baldrick
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Joined: 15 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 12:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The Axe brothers...
Aren't they like the Chuckle brothers and the Doobie brothers and the brothers Grymn and the Beverly sisters and the Partridge family?
Lordy.....I'd be terrified if that lot were after me

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Shiver Metimbers
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Seven Pastors. The Seven Dragons... This is no coincidence I think. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

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remu
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 08 Apr 2006
Posts: 571


PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I was wondering why the seven dragons didn't show up on there... so they have a new alias? Laughing

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JoeTam
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Ha haaaaa haaaaaaa haaa! Tell him half a million is on the way, then ask him daily if he got it. Tell him you sent it through the O.O.O . Society for "a fine trust worthy modality"!. Wish him a Merry Xmas and tell him to chew on a lion's tail! Tell him you're Chucky, and you want to squat on his face as a gesture of good fortune. Curse his children as devil spawn, and he is the anti animal/human sack of rocks, and juju will be paying a visit next week. Oh, and pay him his due Hank.

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callum
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Slightly P'd off lad wrote:
...so if you try to dupe me, you will never succeed...

Not only is he mad, he's completely oblivious as well. Laughing Very Happy

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baiterbrazil
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:36 am Reply with quoteBack to top

clapping

A very good death threat! I envy you!

WOW a handwritten copy of Dom Quijote hahahahahah nice one!

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rumbero
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Joined: 06 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 2:21 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Fantastic work clapping clapping

Tell your mugu you had no idea how powerful he was. You feel sorry for what you did. Tell him you will meet him in South Africa and your will personally pay him

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nobody3
Master Baiter


Joined: 05 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 3:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
SIGGY : DO NOT TOUCH THE LIONS TAIL, WHICH YOU DID.


and @ugumaru excellant Smile
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djmilkweed
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 21 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 3:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

That lion's tail bit is classic!

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Wright B Hindyou
Elite Baiter


Joined: 11 May 2004
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 6:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
DO NOT TOUCH THE LIONS TAIL, WHICH YOU DID.


Is that a regional version of "You have stuck your finger on the tortoise anus"...? Very Happy

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viereinsneun
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 8:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

ImageImageImageImageImage
A Five Star death threat. Maybe even worthy of 7 stars - seeing you've now got 7 highly-esteemed Organisations and another 7 Pastors after your tail.

It really cheered me up, that one.

BTW, can someone tell me how I can join the O.O.O SOCEIRTY? It sounds like they might have some interesting initiation rites.
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_JJ_
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Joined: 21 Jan 2005
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 8:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

HankReardan wrote:
O.O.O SOCEIRTY
I never saw the guys at OpenOffice.org so angry...
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Yastreb
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Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 14715
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 8:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I don't think you've got much to fear from Eckankar when it comes to revenge... Here's their credo:

Quote:

Eckankar is ancient wisdom for today. Its teachings, which resurfaced in 1965, emphasize the value of personal experiences as the most natural way back to God. Whatever your religious background, they show how to look and listen within yourselfto expand your consciousness and enjoy spiritual freedom. See, perhaps for the first time, how to lead a happy, balanced, and productive life and put daily concerns into loving perspective.

Eckankar teaches simple spiritual exercises to experience the Light and Sound of God. These exercises also help us Soul Travel, to move into greater states of consciousness. A spiritual exercise can be as simple as relaxing and singing the word HU, an ancient name for God. As we practice these spiritual exercises, we learn to recognize the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives. We learn that each of us is Soul, a spark of God sent to this world to gain spiritual experience. And as we unfold spiritually, we learn to express the love of God through service to others.


Their website is here: http://www.eckankar.org/

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Tommo Shanter
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Joined: 13 Jan 2006
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Location: Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad. - Euripides


PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 9:05 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
This is a work you asked me to do and I did it with my sweat...


Quote:
I also have seven pastors who are praying against you Shocked if you fail to pay me for my sweat...


He seems obsessed with his personal hygene.

Perhaps you could get him to bottle some of his perspiration and send it to you as proof of his endeavours?

Tommo.

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asiaguy
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 12:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Excellent...

A fabulous death threat and 2 safari's to boot!!!
Quote:
My senior lawyer will be coming to London any moment from now, while my senior secretary will be going to United States by January
Laughing Laughing Laughing

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Emma Stralian
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 18, 2006 2:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Good on'yer Hank.

Sounds like some serious time wasting there and the mother of all death threats. I wouldn't worry too much about the death threats, they run like blood off a duck's back.

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