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 Got a male romance scammer on the hook, advice?

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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 12:45 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Really, really dumbass romance scammer bugging me here. How shall I proceed?


Hi Sweet Angel...
How u doing, hope u feeling cute and fine, i pray u are in good condition presently ,I want both to get to know each other more better...
I am a man who cares and make fun alot , though am lonely but makes friends all the time , i like to watch movies , playing games and enjoy having fun with sport such as football and basket ball they get they get me inspire so much when with them , i earn my living being a PROFESSIONAL ENGENEERING MANAGER , i am the first of the family {first born} so i still have A brother who i care for also , i have always want to have the picture of the a woman who i want in my heart who will cares and love me and let me really feel the smile of my heart is true, the other day i found ur pictures on sharedmessenge i was so inspire.I find out u are the one and cant afford to miss you out , i have always want the type of love and cares with heart loving between my dad and my mum it get me inspire that the lord who made two bad lovers had also made my FATHER and late dad in such a real way... he lost his life last year when i went back home to visit everyone at home, Now that my mum and my brother is the the only one standing as the whole family for me and my brother so he is just like a foundation for all and i appreciate wht ever he has done for me and my brother with everyone he mean so much to me...i am also a christian i go to the church twice a week and will want a woman HOW WIL like me will always AM and pray with the whole of family,well presently am in west africa , i am here for my mum call , she is not alright and her condition is somehow critical, so am here for her and cant afford to miss her,will want someone like herand now while lonely will want a woman advice it get me inspire and make me feel am on top of the world , that is the ways my advice take me to...Well sweet angel , if you feel i havent tell you some other thing which u like to know u are free to mail me and ask a reply will be sent to you, a pics of mine is also sent to you hope u will like it ...SWEETIE...
YOURS AFFECTIONATELY
Patrick Collins ..

I replied pretty casually to start with:

Hello Patrick, tell me more about yourself. You have an American name, are you American?

Where should I go from here? Any bright ideas?
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 12:56 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Oh look, sweet boy wrote me back. And why yes, he is a bona fide American. Isn't that nice.

Hello,
I really appreciate all ur emails and i would really love to meet you
wen i am form amrican befor my father died i have to go and see my mom in west african i nema is patrick collis handson
i get back...could u tell me more abt urself..Are you married?....Do
you
have kids? what work u do?and all that..well i love kids though.i would
really appreciate getting to know u more and i hope we could be a good
set
for this relationship.I was deeply hurt im my former relationship and i
guess i will not want that to happen again....that is why i need to
hang my
trust on a faithful girlthis time....Have u ever cheated on a
man?......and
how will u treat me if eventually u have me?......i love to ask much
question and i hope u understand why.........really like to be treated
like
a queen by my partner and i treat him as my kind too.....i have never
cheated but i have been cheated on...i felt so bad so i have not been
into
any relationship for 1year and 2 months....i will appreciate to hear
from u
as soon as possible. U look real good and i guess i love ur pic

patrick collis handerson
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 1:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

OK, how's this for my reply?

Do you have a picture of yourself Patrick? I always like to see who I am talking to.

I have never married, because I have a rare medical condition known as butfudgeitis which will not allow me to have children. So I am a lonely woman in life, my sole comfort in life being my inherited money so I don't have to work except for charity work, and my giant Hitachi magic wand.

I don't believe in cheating on a man or a woman. In fact I don't even cheat on my Hitachi. I am eternally faithful. Now if only the right man were to come along that would be great....but I don't think that will really happen because I like too many strange things.
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 1:40 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Busy little fucker, isn't he?


Hello
Before I met you,I was badly hurt from relationships that fell apart,I
didn't wanna live no more
I just wanted an end,I thought nothing could cure me,My heart would
never
mend.But getting happy at ur consistency and simplicity....in short i
love
the way u talk and i guess we could get to see as soon as i get
back...one
thing i want u to note is faithful cux that is what can make things
work out
for us am alway committed too but mary did real bad...anyway am getting
over
that.I have not been with any woman for 10months since i broke up with my
ex.I
am giving you a chance to see how things will work and if really u will
not
treat me like mary did ...I guess we could get to see when i get back
home
but that tell u need to contact me daily and i get a message sent to u
also
telling ur how my day is. Am feeling u are something very new and i
guess ur
coming into my life will be a plus.I hope we'll never part,because I
know a
strait forward wo man will always treat with love...I wrote your name in
the
sky, but the wind blew it away.I wrote your name in the sand, but the
waves
washed it away.
I wrote your name in my heart, and forever it will stay....I really
want to
see u someday.i should be home in 2days time.
Love.patrick
this is my mail [email protected] can you send me i amil so that i can send you my pic and my mom and brther call johnson

So here's my response:

That is such sweet poetry. It echoes in my ears like the flushing sound of water down a commode. You know, the old fashioned kind of commode in an outhouse with a crescent moon on the door and lots of corncobs stacked next to it to wipe off your hoo-hoo-dilly. You see, I am a good old fashioned country girl and I miss those days.

Please don't consider killing yourself, at least not until you have provided me lots of amusement. I am sure you are going to be able to make me smile and laugh many times. So please be looking forward to our beautiful correspondence and don't even think of ending your life. I am really looking forward to seeing your picture. I should tell you my real first name, which is Imma. I didn't want to use my real name on that other site. But we are building trust between us so I will tell you.

I don't know if we can really have trust in one other yet, we are still just strangers passing like ships in the night. Kind of like the Titanic and that iceberg. And how can we meet if you are in West Africa caring for your ailing mum? Maybe you can explain these things to me since I am just a simple country girl like Ru Paul. Do you like Ru Paul? She is my favorite country singer and my personal idol.

- Imma
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Gnasher
Baiting Guru


Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 2849
Location: Centre Stage in the Theatre of Cruelty


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 2:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I assume you are baiting from a safe email address (gmail, hushmail, fastmail) and he doesn't have any real information about you? If he does, drop him now.

If it's safe to continue then just play along and act dumb and make him think you believe every word he says. Sooner or later he's going to ask for money - probably his airfare to come and meet you or possibly medication for his sick mother. Then you can start to twist the knife. Enjoy!

_________________
Mortar x21
"you have to pay because he need to submit this form to the Federal Ministry Of Fancies" Barrister John/Mike/Richard Okeke
"they are in deed the swinders rotating about in the net and searching for whom they will stylishly defraud your belongings" A. Moron
"Please pray harder for God to guide and protect us during our travelling because flight airplane i observe is a very big risky" Abdul Karibu
"WE DOESN'T LIKE HOW DISOBIDIENT YOU ARE!" Coco Law Chambers
"BE INFORMED THAT YOU WILL INCUR DUMMERAGE AFTER 9 DAYS FROM TODAY" Burkina Faso Air Secure Air Service.\
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 2:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Baiting from an "adult profile" and then from Gmail, yep.

Hints or tips welcome here! Be gentle with me, this is my first time. Embarassed
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Gnasher
Baiting Guru


Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 2849
Location: Centre Stage in the Theatre of Cruelty


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 2:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Standard Advice To Newbies is to go and read the Stickies on the Love/Dating forum (and the others for that matter) and read through some ongoing and/or completed baits so you get a 'feel' for how it's done. Don't worry about being a newbie - everyone was once! The #1 mistake we probably all made was to go blasting into a bait before taking a little time to read up and learn the basics first. All the information you require is there, plus a lot more you didn't know you needed. I can also highly recommend our Mentor programme so sign up for that and keep an eye on your Messages because you'll probably have one from Nurse Nasty which is required reading too. Welcome to the scarily addictive world of baiting.

_________________
Mortar x21
"you have to pay because he need to submit this form to the Federal Ministry Of Fancies" Barrister John/Mike/Richard Okeke
"they are in deed the swinders rotating about in the net and searching for whom they will stylishly defraud your belongings" A. Moron
"Please pray harder for God to guide and protect us during our travelling because flight airplane i observe is a very big risky" Abdul Karibu
"WE DOESN'T LIKE HOW DISOBIDIENT YOU ARE!" Coco Law Chambers
"BE INFORMED THAT YOU WILL INCUR DUMMERAGE AFTER 9 DAYS FROM TODAY" Burkina Faso Air Secure Air Service.\
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 3:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I guess he really likes his Ru Paul country girl. Declaring his love already.

On 12/4/06, collis patrick wrote:

I am very responsible and romantic and very relaible,respectful,honest,relaible,truthful,loyal,loving,kind,doting,out-going and very conservative.I need a woman of my dreams,i already have the dream and i need a woman that can help me make it come true for me to be happiest man on earth.I need a soulmate,dream mates and wants a woman of adventures and adventrious lol.
Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never met.
Life without Love is like a harp without strings.
Where so ever you go, go with all your heart.
If God is the DJ, then Life is the dance floor; Love is the rhythm, and You are the music.
Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end.
When you wake up in the morning, kiss your loved one on the forehead and wish them a good day.
Love is a noble act of self-giving, offering trust, faith, and loyalty. The more you love, the more you lose a part of yourself, yet you don't become less of who you are; you end up being complete with your loved ones.
When you love, there's no such thing as loving a little, but loving all the way. Love may not ask you to give up your life, but it will require lots of sacrifices.
The higher you climb on love's ladder; the harder you fall.
Love for a loss can make you die, but love for a life will grant you immortality.
Men who do not forgive women their little faults will never enjoy their great virtues.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Love me for a second, and I will make that second last a lifetime.
Everyone must go through a storm to get to a rainbow.
Everything is alright in the end. If it's not alright, then it's not the end.
Choices that deal with love are like alcohol, when you are under the influence of it you tend to do things that you regret later on.
Love can only be what you want it to be.
Life is neither a bed of roses nor a carpet of thorns, it's just what you make of it.
I would give up everything for one moment with you; for one moment is better than a life time of never knowing you.
To see unconditional love look to the eyes of a child.
Hate is the only love that has missed it's way.
For awhile I thought I would never love or hate anyone, but I have come to realize I have loved and hated the same person.
Don't try to not love someone for it will only make your love grow deeper; just accept it..
Wishes are for fantasies; fantasies are for dreaming; dreams are for living.
this for you my love
love you patrick


Of course I had to write him back and let him know how much his efforts were appreciated.


Oh, you are so sweet and romantic and funny. Especially funny. In fact you remind me of a "funny uncle" I once had, before he died of AIDS in prison. He touched me so deeply. Right on my hoo-hoo-dilly. They all said that was wrong, and that's why he ended up in prison as the unfortunate butt-boy of a large and unclean man who enjoyed wearing silk lederhosen while smoking cigars, but what do they know of love. I can see that you want to touch me that way too.

You might just be my soulmate, but are you sure that you are really adventurous enough? I am not the usual kind of Ru Paul country girl you know. I like many things and some of them are pretty strange. I need to know if I can trust you enough to tell you the things I like to do.

What things do you like to do? In the bed room I mean.

- Imma D.
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 4:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I want to set up a poll. What plot twists should I introduce next?

1. Imma Dilldoe is a dominatrix who likes men who dress up in women's clothes. In particular she has a fetish for the combination of pantyhose or women's panties and cigars. Lederhosen will also do. Send photos please.
2. Imma Dilldoe is actually a cross dressed man who wants true love and acceptance for the woman he really is inside, even though his transsexual surgery hasn't been scheduled yet.
3. Imma Dilldoe enjoys anal play and men who stick things in their rectums. Send photos please.
4. Your suggestions?
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ThatGrrl
*** BANNED ***


Joined: 23 Sep 2006
Posts: 73
Location: On the Golf Course


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Brilliant first bait, Naja - kudos to ya!

And isn't it strange how the poor guy doesn't seem all that sure as to what is name is Rolling Eyes patrick collins, or patrick collis handson, or maybe even patrick collis handerson... who knows... try to pin him down to one - a ridiculous made up one of your choice, of course Wink

PS. I vote option 1! The photos would be amazing Twisted Evil but this is your first bait, so just enjoy it. See where it goes. And even if you don't get the pics you want first time round then there'll always be another lad to try it with...and anothar...and - well, you know what I mean. You're doing great so far!

_________________
"U FUCKING SCARMMER I WILL MAKE SURE U AT NOT ALIVE TO MAKE MONEY IN HERE" - Woohoo! My first death threat, courtesy of Edwin Dee, phonetwat
- "You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of (One Million Untied
Stated Dollars)" - is that a new Mugu currency?!
- I am a Manager with American Express Bank here in Buckingham Palace,United Kingdom - hey, Amex get everywhere, dontcha know?? Very Happy
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Gnasher
Baiting Guru


Joined: 29 May 2006
Posts: 2849
Location: Centre Stage in the Theatre of Cruelty


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 7:51 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Woah - slow down. Has he sent you any kind of pic yet, let alone something kinky? It's surprisingly difficult. Lads are ALL talk and very little action - that's how they operate. If you can persuade him to send you a 'normal' pic of himself then you just might be able to get him to pose like something from the Rocky Horror Show but it will take a lot of patient work. If you go in too hard and ask for too much weird stuff too soon he will drop you for someone less High Maintenance.

_________________
Mortar x21
"you have to pay because he need to submit this form to the Federal Ministry Of Fancies" Barrister John/Mike/Richard Okeke
"they are in deed the swinders rotating about in the net and searching for whom they will stylishly defraud your belongings" A. Moron
"Please pray harder for God to guide and protect us during our travelling because flight airplane i observe is a very big risky" Abdul Karibu
"WE DOESN'T LIKE HOW DISOBIDIENT YOU ARE!" Coco Law Chambers
"BE INFORMED THAT YOU WILL INCUR DUMMERAGE AFTER 9 DAYS FROM TODAY" Burkina Faso Air Secure Air Service.\
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JoeTam
** REMEMBERED **


Joined: 16 Nov 2005
Posts: 2153
Location: Pulling foil arrows out of my head.


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 8:57 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I'm curious as to the e mail headers and location. His English is very good.



Mod edit- I removed the unnecessary nationality comparison. TS

_________________
pony Pretty Rose pony
Your moms pu$$! smokes ciggarettes, she whistles in the stadium with your Papa's [email protected]
Nwokeke.
I went to bank. they call police, why you do this to me? I canntsend you anything now.
Goat dog
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 5:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Received: by 10.35.77.14 with SMTP id e14cs23pyl;
Mon, 4 Dec 2006 18:39:12 -0800 (PST)
Received: by 10.70.21.10 with SMTP id 10mr16429924wxu.1165286352314;
Mon, 04 Dec 2006 18:39:12 -0800 (PST)
Received: from web38509.mail.mud.yahoo.com (web38509.mail.mud.yahoo.com [209.191.125.55])
by mx.google.com with SMTP id i40si23185961wxd.2006.12.04.18.39.11;
Mon, 04 Dec 2006 18:39:12 -0800 (PST)
Received-SPF: pass (google.com: domain of (removed by Naja)@yahoo.com designates 209.191.125.55
as permitted sender)
DomainKey-Status: good (test mode)
Received: (qmail 32371 invoked by uid 60001); 5 Dec 2006 02:39:11 -0000
DomainKey-Signature: a=rsa-sha1; q=dns; c=nofws;
s=s1024; d=yahoo.com;
h=X-YMail-OSG:Received:Date:From:Subject:To:
MIME-Version:Content-Type:Content-Transfer-Encoding:Message-ID;
X-YMail-OSG:
Received: from [83.229.91.63] by web38509.mail.mud.yahoo.com via HTTP; Mon, 04 Dec 2006 18:39:11 PST
Date: Mon, 4 Dec 2006 18:39:11 -0800 (PST)
Subject: hi is me patrick
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="0-1607309484-1165286351=:31946"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Message-ID: <[email protected]>

--0-1607309484-1165286351=:31946
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit

Mod edit: removed the huge line from the header to stop the blowout....and other things. TS
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Tue Dec 05, 2006 6:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He's baaaack.....

hi my love how
was your day? as i told you be fof i am sweet and loving too iw ill like to hav you as my loving wife i understand you the you are not the typ of country girl i use to know but i still love you for that i just want to tell you that love come for the heart not for the abeit of the person nad you must understand you sife be for the and i think you are the best for me , i am so happy thet you and i are one now i just when to the hospita this moring to se my mom and i told her about you and all the mail you send to me she told me that she can waith to know you that you sund loving and swet and i told her that you are the best to
me you know i told you that she is not filling fen that is why i hve to come and see her as for the trust i know that you hav meet the reit person and i know that you are the rait person for me to so i will like you to get back to me
love patrick

I reply:

So nice to hear from you. How is your mother? Is she ill with butfudgeitis too, or is it some other bad sickness, like Wynonaryder Syndrome? What is your mother's name? I feel bad that she is in the hospital, but I hope she is being looked after well by strong, butch looking nurses who have long attachments for medical probing.

- Imma D.
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 3:00 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Upped the ante by sending him an unsolicited photo of "me" holding a sign with his name on it. Let's see how he responds. Of course I am going to ask that he do the same for me as a sign of romantic feeling and trust.

http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q54/najasputatrix/me-and-patrick.jpg

I wanted to send you a picture. Since you cannot be here in person I wrote your name and took a picture of me with it so it is almost like you are here with me. What do you think? Do you think I am so beautiful, even though I have butfudgeitis? Some people say I do not look beautiful, and also they say I smell like a mix between old tunafish and unwashed homeless persons with dingleberries. It is the butfudgitis that makes this problem. But I hope I am beautiful to you anyway.

You say you want me to be your wife, but there are so many things you don't know about me yet! I think we should go slow and get to know more things about each other first. Tell me what you like to do for fun. Tell me about yourself. I want especially to know what you like to do in the bedroom. Do you like enemas, leather or ropes? I like these things very much. Also I like special clothes for us to wear and special words for us to call each other. Is that okay with you? Do you like those things too?

Also I am thinking to build trust I should tell you my last name also. I don't tell my real name to any other men I talk to, because they don't want the same things as I want and I do not know if I can trust them. My real last name is Dilldoe and I hope I can trust you with it.

You have told me about your mother so I will tell you about my father. His name was Ron Jeremy Dilldoe. He was a construction engineer like you, and he built tools for construction. In fact he invented a tool that made our family name well known, called the Dilldoe Jackhammer. Have you heard of it? You are an engineer so I thought you might know about this very famous tool. You might have even used it on yourself sometime. If you have, please tell me all about it. Ron Jeremy would be pleased if he knew you had used it.

- Imma Dilldoe
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Bella
419Eater is my life


Joined: 01 Aug 2006
Posts: 272
Location: Australia


PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Kinda mixed up isn't he/she?

Quote:
really like to be treated
like
a queen by my partner and i treat him as my kind too

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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 4:28 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Yep. Obviously dude is used to pretending to be a chick.

Which is fine as I'm going to be asking him to wear women's clothes for me later on. LOL
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 5:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

And the saga continues.....

hi my love how are you doing ? and how is your health i thank you somch for the consecent about my mom i am just comeing back for the hospita this morning s and the dorctor told me that she is going to go heart sorgure and that will cuse me much and i dont hav eney money now that is why i can come online yestaday to mail you i am sorry for that my love, so that is why i am still in this place i just want you to know that my family love you and ther say that thr can want to se you in person so my love if i may ask you when the you uncle, died i know that you miss him so much can you tell me his name so that i can use his name to Write you some poetry ok i jus want to tell you how much i love you Under the heavens and stars, I strum a song on my old guitar. As I sin love song to you heart.
love patrick


Thank you for asking about my family. My uncle's name was Dick Dilldoe, and my poor dead father's name, as I said, was Ron Jeremy Dilldoe.

I hope your mother gets through her heart sorgure okay. Is your family from West Africa? That is such a nice country. I have always wanted to visit there on a safari and pick monkeys off the trees. Are there many monkeys in the trees where your family lives?

- Imma Dilldoe
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persephone
Baiting Guru


Joined: 05 Jun 2006
Posts: 2846
Location: land of cloggies


PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 8:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi Naja, welcome to Eater! Looks like you're off on a good start. When you are done with him, would you mind giving me the addy? I have a special something for male love baiters Laughing

_________________
a strange idiot tracked you down on arrival you moved with him like a christmas goat to a strange hell hotel and gave him paper or what you call money my ass. - J3ff Rich4rds
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I HAVE SEEN THAT YOU LOVE DOG SEX, LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU CAN COME TO AFRICA I WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR HOTEL EXPENSES AT LEAST TO SATISFY THE DOG'S URGE - some banker
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 8:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I sent you his addy so you can play too.

Can't wait to hear him singing about Dick Dilldoe and Ron Jeremy Dilldoe. If possible I'll make him do it on my k7 voicemail and share the clip.
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 10:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Asking for trophy #1 now:

hi my love
how was you day thank you for the mail i just came back form the hospita do to the calli ricev that i shod come in time the dorctor call formy antesion that is why i hav to go there he told me that the sugrey hav to tak place tomorw that is why that i hav to go and look for the money that is why i can send you mail in time i ahv to go and look for that money for the heart sugrey so that it can tak place tomrow ok do you love ,monkeys when i come ove i can tak you to african ok to see them
i love you patrick


My sweet little short bus boy, how nice of you to write back. I do enjoy playing with monkeys. In fact that's exactly what I'm doing right now. Isn't it fun?

I am very concerned because even though you say you love me, you never send a picture. I don't even know what you look like! How can I trust you if I have never seen your face. For all I know you could be an Elvis impersonator. You aren't an Elvis impersonator, are you? That would be my worst nightmare.

Do you remember the picture I sent to you of myself holding your name on a paper? I think it would build a lot of trust between us if you did the same thing for me. Please take a nice picture of yourself holding up a sign with my name on it. Then I can believe you are real. I have never even seen you, so how can I give you sweet loving yet?

I want to trust and believe in you, so I look forward to seeing your handsome face in a photo. Don't forget to be holding the sign with my name on it so I know it is really you in the photo.

I want to know all about you. Remember what I asked about the Ron Jeremy Dilldoe Jackhammer? You say you are an engineering manager, so you must know about this big famous tool. Have you ever seen one or used one? My dear departed father would be happy to hear that his big tools are still being used by people all over the world. If you have used this mighty tool on yourself, please tell me all about it.

I am sorry to hear about your mother and I hope she will recover in good health. Do those nice butch nurses in the hospital assault her hoo-hoo-dilly very often with deep medical probing?

- Imma Dilldoe
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 10:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Holy shit, this is good. He promised some poetry about my poor dead uncle and here it is. Obviously a cut and paste job but still impressive! LOL

The cold bitter winter wind hit young Imma DilldoeMoon Star as she rode in a wagon train heading west. She was leaving behind her beloved father and uncle name call Dick Dilldoe in New , to Wilmington start a life as a new town doctor in the Colorado Territory. She was also leaving her dear uncle love her so much , Stantios. He had protected her through all her struggles in medical school. He had been there to make sure her dreams had become a reality.
When the wagon train finally arrived in the small town of Crystal Springs. She was even more afraid. She wondered what lay in store for her in this strange and beautiful new place.... i jst want to tell you that your uncle love you he is inside your heart ok

love patrick
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 11:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He sent more shite, along with a stupid ass picture of some trailer trash looking people that he says are his parents. My god they're ugly. Don't know where he got this picture, but I don't wanna go there.


i wanted to send you my pic bot i want me mom to get beter frist so that i can give you i nice one of my how are you doning to day i love you i must tell you with all my heart if i thing love you how can i send you all this mail i just want you toknow that in my heart you are the only one ok, and the big famous tool can you tell me about it so that i can know if i hav use it becuse i ahve come acors so meny tool so i dont know the one you are talking about this is my pic and my mom and brother call johnson the one i talk about in my secord mail and this is my mom i look like my dad i love my dad somuch i will like to hear back form you my love
ptrick


Time to slap him lightly and dangle cash bait to see if it gets the desired trophies.


I am a little suspicious here - how can you be a real Engineering Manager and not know about the Ron Jeremy Dilldoe Jackhammer? Everybody uses them in engineering management. It is huge and throbbing, with angry purple veins and a little red eye, and it stands straight up like a soldier wearing a helmet. What engineer does not know this big famous tool?

Well I hope your mother gets better soon so that you can send me your picture. I would offer to help with the money since I have a lot of money, but I am not sure I can trust you yet since I have never even seen you! Especially since you say you don't know the Ron Jeremy Dilldoe Jackhammer. That is very strange that you don't know that big famous tool deeply and intimately if you are really an engineer. I am sure you have used it sometime and I don't know why you don't want to admit to that.

The poetry you wrote about my uncle Dick Dilldoe was very nice. I think it is very romantic that you can play and sing on your guitar. I write songs too, and I also wrote one about my uncle when he died. Here it is.

Dick Dilldoe, I love Dick Dilldoe
Dick Dilldoe, how I love big Dick.
Dick Dilldoe is so big, he could touch my heart
Dick Dilldoe, we will never part.

In case you did not know, Dick Dilldoe was very big. Huge, even. He worked in construction like my father and he died with his tool in his hand. In fact it was overuse of the Ron Jeremy Dilldoe Jackhammer that killed him. Rectal fissuring is so tragic. *sniff* I am crying now. I was that sad. So I wrote this song about him. Isn't it beautiful?

If you do not have time to take a romantic picture of you holding up my name like I asked, maybe you would let me hear your beautiful voice singing me this song I wrote? You can call and sing it to my phone. My phone number is (k7 free anonymous internet voicemail number here) If I am not home, please sing it to the machine so I can hear it when I get home.

If you could do that and send me a picture of you so I could see your face, I would trust you and believe you really love me. If you can show me that you are real and we have trust, then I would love to visit Africa with you and meet your mother, and help you in any way I can. I have lots of money from my father's invention of the famous Dilldoe Jackhammer, so I can travel anywhere I want.

- Imma Dilldoe
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 4:14 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Dumbass found some cut and paste meme on MySpace or something. I figured I'd have some fun with it.

Quote:

i just want you to know how much i want to be with you in all my life If I ever saw an angel, it was in your eyes Never thought that love could feel like this and you changed my world with just one kiss, how can it be that right here with me there's an angel?"Heaven's lost without youTwice or thrice had I loved thee before I knew thy face or name, call imma so in a voice, so in a shapeless flame, angels affect us oft, and worshipped be
Just one night in your dreams would be like spending eternity staring at the face of an ange lI believe in love , and i believe in you
i just want to tell you that i am a cmputer Engineering Manager
that is what i do , i just want to ask you some of this quesion

Favorite Food
Favorite T.V. Show
Favorite Drink
Favorite Way To Kiss
. Favorite Sexual Position
. Favorite Way To Be Touched
. Favorite Sexual Fantasy
. Favorite Place To Make Love
. Favorite Time Of Day to Make Love
. Favorite After Sex Activity
. Do you enjoy being around kids?
. Would you raise your kids like your parents raised you?
. Would you want a girl or a boy?
. How would you discipline your child?
. How would you discipline your child?
. Your idea of a dream date is?
. What do you want to accomplish during your life?
. What do you think true love is?
. Do you believe in love at first sight?
. What is your idea of romance?
. Do you think romance is an important part of a relationship? Why?
. Do you think friends make better lovers?
. What have you learned about love from other people?
. Do you think that true love can conquer all?
. A man is a better lover because...?
. A man would make a better world leader because...?
. What was the most significant thing about your first kiss with your partner?
. When did you know you were in love?. Did you do anything to try and "get" your partner before you were together?
The most romantic thing your partner has ever done was...
. What are the three best things about your partner...
. Who was your best friend when you were young?
. How did you spend your favorite summer vacation?
Should couples live together before marriage?
. Should couples live together before marriage?
. What is the most important part of a relationship?
. Do you feel comfortable asking your partner anything?
. What role should a wife play in a marriage?
. Do you know your partner's favorite: color, movie, food, and drink?
. Do you feel sex is an important part of staying happy in a relationship?
You're a song written by the hands of God i try the number you give to me is not going can you call me
love patrick


So I wrote back:

Oh, that's why you don't know about the Ron Jeremy Dilldoe Jackhammer. Computer engineers don't usually use Dilldoe Jackhammers. At least when they do they don't like to talk about it so much.

Those are so many questions you are asking me, and you still have not sent a picture of yourself and I still have not heard your voice! I must ask again if you want there to be trust between us. I cannot love a man whose face I have not seen and whose voice I have not heard. If you cannot send me a picture and let me hear your voice then I will know that I must look elsewhere for obscurely perverse entertainment.

I will pick some of your questions to answer. I also want you to answer the same questions for me.

My favorite food: Ebonics
My favorite sexual position: With the man on all fours and in tight leather bondage
My favorite sex act: Giving enemas (I know you will let me give you at least six enemas every day because it excites me for sex)
The most romantic thing a man has ever done for me: Worn women's underwear while smoking a cigar in bed.

I am waiting for your picture and phone call. If you want to be my true lover, I need to see your face and hear your voice.

Love,

Imma Dilldoe
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Naja
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 03 Dec 2006
Posts: 29


PostPosted: Thu Dec 07, 2006 5:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Scammer wrote:


Quote:
the ans you give me is then i like too how do you know that this is the thing i like ok the is with i like forawoman romantic thing if we want to mak love i will put the go sevenb time a day
why do you say you dont see the pic i send to you ok can you call me becuse i try to call yo bt the network is too bad pls this number (+234180-588-22-316)
love you patrick


So I sez:

I am an old fashioned Ru Paul country girl and I don't think a woman like me should call a man first. I want you to call me and sing that sad song I wrote about my family. That would be a great way to hear your voice. Here is the song I want you to sing to me:

Dick Dilldoe, I love Dick Dilldoe
Dick Dilldoe, how I love big Dick.
Dick Dilldoe is so big, he could touch my heart
Dick Dilldoe, we will never part.

My phone number is 001-XXX-XXX-XXXX I think you might need the 001 to call into America from West Africa.

I got only the picture of your lovely family, thank you. If you look like your dad then you are the true trailer park prince of my dreams. I am really looking forward to seeing your picture. I want a picture of you and only you, holding a paper with my name on it.

If you can do these things for me, my sexy little enema love monkey, then I will know I can trust you. I will do anything for you if you can do these things for me, because then I will believe that we really are in love.

- Imma Dilldoe
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