Shadrack vs. the Lawyers "Firm".

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Moved per OP's request.

Posted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 12:10 am

Shad is sorry! But only "electronically".

Quote:

Dear Sir,
I am very sorry to have insulted you which i don't
intend to do.To err is human and to forgive is
devine,please forgive me for i am sorry.We now stand
the chance of being better friends even for a life
time.Take me as one you could talk about any kind of
business any time and any day.
Thank you for finding a place in your heart to forgive
me.Please pardon me for writting electronically for i
don't have money for scanning.
Thanks for your cooperation.
Shadrack

Cheap bugger, won't scan me a hand written apology. I'll let it slide for now. Silly boy that he is!

Quote:

Oh Shadrack,
You silly, silly boy. I forgive you. You must have been caught up in the heat of the moment and lost your wits. You do have wits, don't you? If you did lose them, you'll find some more. Somewhere. Now, to get to the business of this action of sending money, I forgive you.

Time to talk money, but I had to be sure he knows he's forgiven first. Next:

Quote:

Dear Sir,
You can send the money via western union money
transfer with the following info:
Receiver's name: ike chika xxxxxxxx(my aunt)
Destination: lagos Nigeria.
Remember to send your address,phone no,m.t.c.n,text
question,text answer.
Thanks.
Shadrack.

Westin Onion? WTF?

Quote:

Shadrack, thank you for your information, finally! But what is this Westin Onion you speak of? How does it work? You see, I live in a very remote area in a desert. Wits are hard to come by, as you know, and being winter, I don't have many. The Wits sleep all winter out here. I haven't shot a Wit in over a month. January is a very bad Wit month. Is Westin Onion something they have in a city? It sounds like a Hotel that serves vegetables. I live 6 hours from the nearest city, Los Wages. I only go there every 2 weeks for food. Can I send you the money to your house? The mailman comes out here everyday, and it will be much faster. Can you send me your house address? The mailman will be sure you get the money fast! Take care friend!

So far, I've gone from a magazine publishing magnate, to a drug addled worker at the Playboy Mansion, and now to a grizzly old desert rat making bi weekly food runs to Vegas. I'm off to hunt some Wits now.

Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 12:17 am

Quote:

Dear Sir,
Our house doesn't have number and moreover sending
check will be difficult to cash here since the bank
name differs from the ones here.
Thanks.
Shadrack.

Quote:

Hello Dear Shadrack, no house number? Do you have letters, flags, or something else? What if I came to visit? I wouldn't be able to find your house! Nevermind. Out here in the desert, people find us by the color of our mailboxes. Ours is white. You turn there onto Groom Lake road and drive 60 miles. Disregard the signs you might see along the road. My friends will guide you once they see you coming.

http://www.areafiftyone.info/groomlakeroad.htm

Moneygramme? WTF?

Quote:

Dear Sir,
What about sending the money through moneygramme.
Shadrack

Quote:

Dear Shadrack, First Westin Onions, and now a moneygramme? Is it where you send grams of money? That seems like a very poor way to send money, by the gram. A gram is a very small weight you know. Oh, that reminds me, did you find some more Wits lately? I know. It's winter, and Wits are scarce. Well, I'm happy to help out, but if you could explain sending money by the gram, I'm ready to listen. I'd like to send it in the mail, because our mail man is so nice. I bought him a bottle of Bacardi 151 for Christmas. We didn't get our mail for 2 weeks, but he's usually a dependent man. Let me know how to proceed. I have this $500 check, still on my desk for you. Take care friend!

The Wobby World winter is wasting my wits away, I'm afraid.

Posted: Thu Jan 11, 2007 5:42 am

Quote:

Dear Friend,
You can travel to the city to make the payment.Ask
banks about paying money through western union or
moneygramme.Your check cannot be cashed here because
the bank name differs from the one here.I don't really
know how i could describe my house.If you are coming i
will wait for you in the airport.What is your race?
Thanks.
Shadrack.

Well, isn't this a nice surprise? I had no idea? I guess throwing out stupid suggustions is a worthwhile proposition. Might be time to have a race to the airport? NASCAR, or Men's Downhill?

Quote:

Shadrack, would it be easier for me to come to the airport? I could
probably swing that. It seems like a long ways to go for only $500
dollars. But, then I could bring cash! Would you really meet me there?
Is it the Lagos airport? How would I know who you are? Let's do this,
send me a picture of you with a sign with my name on it, HEYWOOD
YAFYSTER, so I will be able to find you at the airport, and I will start
working on booking a flight to Nigeria. Is there a good day for me to
arrive? Where will I stay? At your house with you? We could have a big
party!

Oh JOY! This is going to be fun!

Quote:

Dear sir,
If you wish to come you will land at the murtala
mohammed airport lagos.You will lodge at the hotel at
Sheraton hotel.We shall organise a party at my place.I
shall organise the best girls for you.We shall have
fun together.Call me on +2348020817299.
See you.
Shadrack.

I'll respond tomorrow. Can't afford to scan me an apology, but he can organise the best girls. I hope it's not his Aunt and her friends. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Sat Jan 13, 2007 8:10 pm

Shad is stalling on the pictures, as always, so I stall the phone call. He's a real pain sometimes.

Quote:

Hi Shadrack, I am talking to my travel agent now about coming over to Lagos, but they are closed until Tuesday. As soon as I find out, I'll let you know right away. I am due for a vacation anyway. The Sheraton sounds very nice, and should do nicely! I tried to call you, but my phone won't establish a connection. I am kind of shy around girls, because I am a vegetarian. Do you have salads over there? They are my favorite. Please tell me a nice girl would enjoy a Fyster, and she would toss my salad for me. I love it when a pretty girl tosses my salad for me.This would build my confidence so I'm not so nervous to come over. Thank you for looking into this, and letting me know about the girls. I have a new laptop computer I don't really use, could you use it? I could bring it with me.
Heywood Fyster

Let's just see if any of his best girls will accomodate me Twisted Evil

Quote:

Dear Sir,
I am very excited now for your coming.I will like you
to bring the laptop with you.I will give you a nice
girl that will be there for you.I will like you you to
send your pics to recognise you at the airport.You
will enjoy your stay in Nigeria because we shall visit
museums,obudu ranch,beaches clubs and silverbird
cinemas.It is going to be an all-round fun.
I will be expecting you.
Shadrack.

Looks like this one's a go! I get all this for $500, and a laptop! Oh, must have Shaddy make that res at the Sheraton for me. And yet, I'm getting a little suspicious now. Confused

Am I being passed up the line?

Quote:

Shadrack, this is sounding like a very exotic time for me! Yes, I'll bring the lap top computer for you. I will have to get a visa as soon as I can. Can you answer 2 questions for me? Will you make the reservation at the Sheraton Hotel for me? I'm not familiar with doing that. I'll let you know my arrival day when my Travel Agent prepares the flight plan. Also, will my "Girl" toss my salad for me like I asked? That's important to me, you know. Please reassure me that she will, OK? I will send you a picture soon. Please send me yours as soon as you can. This is getting rather exciting now, isn't it?

I just might have to arrange a 24 hour security service escort so no one bothers us. Edit: Pic sent. Awaiting reply.

Quote:

Dear Sir,
You are a handsome man i must say. ( Cool

)
There is always a reservation in sheraton as i could
find out from sources.The hotel is for people with
class and taste with a tight security.You will like
because it is one of the best hotels in Nigeria.The
girl is good in preparing salad.Any young or lady that
passed out from high school in Nigeria must know how
to prepare delicious salad. Laughing

Can you take me back to
your country or could we establish a branch of your
business in Nigeria?
Shadrack.

He sends me a thumbnail sized pic of himself, idiot! I ignore the business question.

Quote:

Thank you Shadrack, I couldn't see your picture, it was very small, please resend it in a larger format. The Hotel sounds nice. As you know, I have class and I like it tight. I also have taste, for SALAD! It is strange that people pass out from going to high school though. Is that a regular occurance? I will be in touch tomorrow about the flight arrangements.

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 2:50 am

He resends his picture, and no comment on my last letter, I reply:

Quote:

The picture is the same small unviewable size. Get some help from
someone who knows computers and send it again .

Moron, it's the same exact tiny pic! I'm starting to loose patience. He replies:

Quote:

Dear Sir,
There should be an error some where with the cafe
computer from which i sent the picture.I shall resend
it again but it is late here as your country is 10hrs
ahead of us.The picture i first sent you is who i am.I
don't think i will recognise your face because you
faced upwards. ( Question

WTF is he on about?)
Have a nice day.
Shadrack.

A mild slap, and a time zone curve ball for Shaddy:

Quote:

Shadrack, yes, you better send your picture again, and quit fooling around. I don't have time for foolishness like this. What do you mean my country is 10 hours ahead of you? I thought you were in Africa? That would make it 8 hours behind you. Please pay attention to what's going on here.

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 6:03 am

New post, as I'm very suspicious about Shad now.

Quote:

I thought you told me you are from New Caledonia?How
are you preparing for your coming?
What are your hobbies?I am looking forward to that day
when we shall see for the first time,what a big hug!
We have become a lifetime friends now.Keep trying my
phone no,could you please give me your phone no?I want
us to speak over the phone as that makes us better
friends.
One love.
Shadrack.

New Caledonia? Anyone remember an old US TV show called "McHale's Navy"? I never told him where I was at. What are my hobbies? WTF? I'm just a real suspicious person. I'm ready to go off the deep end on this mugu. Or, am I?

Quote:

I am coming from Guam. My travel agent is working on the details. My hobby is eel poke poling in the tidal flats. I don't hug men. My phone does not work in the middle of this vast ocean on this island I'm on. I have answered your questions. Now, answer mine. Where is your picture you need to send that I am able to view normally? Are you going to start paying attention as I asked? Would you rather have 25 good Cuban cigars, or a year's supply of new underware and socks? How many sex partners have you had since last July?

So much for the desert, I'm now in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Hilarity ensues:

Quote:

Man!!! you are real,you are big guy.We shall fun in
the club.We have good Cuban cigars here sold in the
clubs and supermarkets.I have only one girl friend but
sometimes my friends introduces me to their girl
friend's friend.I will resend the picture this morning
when i go to the cafe for it is early morning
here.Guam Island is owned by USA,am right?I love
USA.Do you like playing snooker and table tennis?
I now like you more than before.
One blood.
Shadrack.

Quote:

Dearest friend,
I prefere a year supply of new underwears and socks.
Shadrack.

And the infamous pic arrives! No trophy though. Evil or Very Mad

My, he's so handsome! Looks like I better do some clothes shopping for him before I go to visit.

Quote:

Shadrack, good news! I will be arriving in Nigeria on Thursday! My Brother is bringing his private airliner Lear jet to pick me up, and we are going to fly to Nigeria. He is a private pilot, and has 2 weeks off. I will bring your money, laptop computer, and a LOT of socks and underware. After a stop in Tokyo, we will fly direct. We are due to arrive in Lagos, Thursday, at 3:10 AM local time, in the private aerodrome just next to the international terminal. You are going to meet us there, correct? I'll be wearing my unique white suit, so you will recognize me. The jet ID is N419MGUX, with USA registration. Customs and Immigration have been contacted, and we have been guarenteed priority clearance. We have obtained our visas. Your pass number into the terminal is Q914XCQCQ. Please contact me as soon as you can to confirm our meeting time in Lagos. Ask for passage to the private area at the international terminal with the information I have given you, jet ID number, and your pass number. I am looking foward to seeing you! Hey, Bring me a Cuban cigar, I'll bring the champagne! Is there anything you want from Tokyo, Japan? This is great! Contact me today, we will be there very soon!

Posted: Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:05 am

From excitement to a bad gut feeling. 3 e mails within 2 hours. More than happy to put your mind at ease Shadrack.

Quote:

Dear Sir,
I am very excited for this information.i will be
expecting you on thursday.I will like you to buy me a
nice shoe and some cloths,wrist watch and a nice cell
phone.I shall be at the airport by 3:10 and we shall
meet.I don't have money to get the cuban cigars you
knows my condion.Call me when you get to Japan.
See you.
Shadrack.

Quote:

Dear Sir,
I shall meet you at the airport by 10:00AM on
thursday.Please call me when you arrive because am
scared to enter the private area in the airport and i
have not received any body there before.
One love.
Shadrack.

Quote:

Dear Sir,
My spirit is telling me that a bad omen will befall me
if i come to the airport.I am feeling strong here.I
took you as a friend why are you planning bad for
me.You want to set me up?Why?I wanted us to be life
time friends.I can feel a bad omen about to happen to
me.
Thanks.
Shadrack.

Not a problem.

Quote:

Dear Shadrack,
We were about ready to leave Tokyo, and I received your mail. If you are uncomfortable with this, as you say you are, maybe we can do this some other time. I don't want to bother you if you have a bad feeling, and my brother agreed with me. We have decided to stay in Tokyo for 2 more days, as we are having so much fun, and the shopping and food is wonderful! I guess I can send the things I bought to my family instead. After that, we were talking about going to Hawaii, and then to San Francisco for some deep sea fishing. This should remove any bad omen feeling from your mind so you can now relax. Perhaps we can meet at a later date. Take care, and be clear of bad thoughts.
Sincerly,
Heywood.

Apparently not a problem for Shadrack either.

Quote:

Ok

The end? Perhaps not, when the jet goes off radar and Shadrack is a beneficiary to a life insurance policy. In the meantime, Twisted Evil

Quote:

Shadrack,
perhaps I can still help you out. I will contact you when we arrive in the USA, San Francisco. San Francisco has a clean airport, free from beggars and dirty toilet areas. There are are no crooked police, immigration or military people in the USA either who spend their time intimidating people and extorting money from them. San Francisco is a great city with honest people that don't harrass thier visitors. I guess you were right about that bad omen feeling. Now, I am very glad we did not come to Lagos. I don't like criminal police or immigration jerks shaking me down for money. You're right, the Lagos airport is a place for government people to screw over good folks. It is a bad place. You should never go there yourself. I will contact you from our honest, friendly, city when we arrive. It's good to know that we will not be victims of extortion, like we might have been in Lagos. I will contact you shortly, as soon as we have a Napa Valley meal with a fine California wine, a comfortable nights sleep at a 5 star Hotel, and a day of fun fishing the high seas!

Shadrack is OK with the goings on, and is now pregnant!

Quote:

Dear Sir,
I am expecting.
Enjoy yourself.
Shadrack.

Quote:

Please,send me the money through WESTERN UNION MONEY
TRANSFER when you get to San Francisco.
Thanks.
Shadrack.

The jet will never reach SFO. H.F's Lawyer will contact Shaddy. Tomorrow, or the next day. The jet, it's gone off radar, east of Hawaii!

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