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 Pimp My Number, Psycho Female Closed**

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PJ Tensely
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 31 Mar 2004
Posts: 21
Location: Here & There and Back Again


PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 1:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

He got crabs! That is so funny!

The only reason I had half a chance of understanding this was because I knew his name and what he was *supposed* to say. Rolling Eyes

With the greatest of confidence, having read and fully understood the simplest of instructions given him, our intrepid Charles Soludo prepares to call my overworked, but always reliable "Gatekeeper of Security and Western Union Dollars."

I think it goes like this (and I leave out your replies, they're the best part and have to be heard Laughing)

flowers01
Quote:

:Hello?
:It's all about hovercraft!
:It's all about hovercraft, hovercrafts!
:Hover, hovercrafts!
:How are you?
:Yeh, it's all about hover crabs!
:The hovercraft I bought is bad.
Sad?) Peter, can you see?
:Yeh, Charles speaking, Charles. (I'm just guessing now Wink
:Charles, Charles!
:I'm talking about the, the, the (?) craft, the hovercrafts we bought. I did not tell me to buy you some flowers. (wow, he's really sounding like Arnold now.)
:(totally indecipherable) again.
:I should, ack, ah, I uh, shu, pro, call, yeh I will call you back...in next few minutes, please.
:...next few minutes, please.



I imagine at this point he starts second guessing himself and re-checks his email instructions. He learns again that all he need do is say the security pass-phrase: "My hovercraft is full of eels," leave his name if I'm not in, and always be nice to you, the Gatekeeper, as you control the tap on the money. (I also suggested he offer you flowers, because he'd been a bit rude the last time.)

And so -- how hard can this be?

flowers02
Quote:

:Hello?
:Yeah, it's all about hovercrafts, hovercrafts, and them many eels. I promise to buy you flower yesterday, to send you some flowers. Remember, me, Charles? {because I am being nice to you finally}.
:I say, about hovercrafts, hovercrafts. The craft I bought was, it was a hover craft with (sounding totally disgusted) with eels, you know, eel. And I promise to send you some flowers about yesterday.
:Okay. Ah ah, ah. (he's not sure he's made it past security yet.)

And then I think he asks repeatedly for me, and more of the same hovercraft business, lol!

Most excellent work, VP! It was perfect, that got him firmly hooked. And since then I've gone into business selling militarized, stealth hovercrafts. (It's ALL making sense to him now, uh-huh.) Twisted Evil

Thanks so much, VP! (I'll keep you posted.)
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Slightlyoutofit
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 14310
Location: Foraging for Nuts.


PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 4:43 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks VPM.
I've PMed you so you know you're gonna have to deal with him again. Crying or Very sad

Yanno. I don't like any lad, but I'm really beginning to loathe this guy with a vengeance. Luckily we're coming up to the part of the bait where both you and I can tell Collins just exactly what we think of him. Twisted Evil
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vpmanchester
Phone Credit Vampire


Joined: 19 Jul 2006
Posts: 1139
Location: Customer Services Rep


PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 4:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Call from Collins to say he has filled in the forms, which I see you have now received Laughing
http://media.putfile.com/collinsthursday

This is the one that wants Peter..sounds like he wants to buy crabs? from your PM this is a different lad if this is the one for Soloudo?? I cannot understand him much anyway so just tried to keep things simple Wink
http://media.putfile.com/flowers01
http://media.putfile.com/flowers02

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4X1X9
Baiting Guru


Joined: 17 Sep 2006
Posts: 4595


PostPosted: Thu Mar 29, 2007 6:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^

Explains why my lad is p'd off that you didn't "pick on the phone" Laughing
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vpmanchester
Phone Credit Vampire


Joined: 19 Jul 2006
Posts: 1139
Location: Customer Services Rep


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 11:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks everyone...looks like I will have lots of new friends soon Twisted Evil . I have not been in most of the day and my mobile phone only worked now & then in the Derbyshire hills..so I may have spoken to your lads...one especially promised to buy me flowers...who he was or why he wanted to I dunno, I do suspect that it is that Soloudo charater though. I had another lad call but what language he was speaking I do not know....i started talking nonsense too and he seemed satisfied with it. So your lad(s) may have called and if they did not get me..then they were not trying hard enough Wink


Ahhhh just remembered...I did get a call for reverend father someone, and when I asked his name and what he wanted he got rather sharp with me..wanting to know why I was asking HIM questions. I told him I was sister someone and he should not be so rude..god speach..yadda..yadda. He then became apologetic and when I went to 'go get you' he only waited a min or so. So he should learn not to speak to a nun with such a sharp tounge Shocked

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Pith Helmet Lagos, Nigeria to Tamale, Ghana
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Anti-419
Elite Baiter


Joined: 28 Jul 2004
Posts: 1804
Location: Bay Area, CA


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 8:01 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

HI VP,

You may get a call from my lovy lad, asking for Ms Chi Ting. I told him that my mother will answer the phone, but he still insisted.

some background info: You are located in the mountains of California, USA using a London based satellite phone provider.

EDIT: Feel free to use broken english. I told him that my mother English isn't that great. Wink

Can you please play the mother part? You can ask him for his credentials, background, sexual history... etc... because he wants to marry "your daughter".

Chi Ting is not home and she is at the shopping mall buying gifts.

Thanks a whole lot.

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briey
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 18 Feb 2006
Posts: 22
Location: UK


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 6:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi VP.
Has a Fr. King phoned for Fr. Steven Davis? He says he spoke to a nun. Was that you by any chance?

_________________
'Please for christ sake , stop sending mails to me, you are disturbing me, although i used to pray for you in other to regain your madness' Rev. David King
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Slightlyoutofit
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 14310
Location: Foraging for Nuts.


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 9:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi VPM.
If Collins should call today (and I reckon he will), I'm not in the office but am attending an all day business lunch.
In reality, I'm waiting for Marvinator to knock me up another form, but that's another story. Wink
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it wasn't me
Elite Baiter


Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 1043
Location: sitting in the corner drinking wine, eating cheese


PostPosted: Wed Mar 28, 2007 12:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@VP Did Mohd Abdll4h ring for me? (Hearing impaired) he's emailed me to say he has but I think he's lying....

_________________
Do not be sceptical be pessimistic - Lotto scam.
I just don't know how to express the gravy of my happiness. - Barrister M Abd0lla
you nose i have been away in the middly east. -Ali Al1

Pretty Rose

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Kickstart
419Eater is my life


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 447
Location: Godzone


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 11:39 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Laughing I just realised the last 4 digits on your phone number... nice.

_________________
Albert Einstein wrote:
Only two things are infinate, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

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The_Boobs
419Eater is my life


Joined: 02 Feb 2007
Posts: 353
Location: Cornwall, UK


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 3:30 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks for that. I gave it to my lad. If he rings he will be expecting to talk to a nun.

Laughing

_________________
Closed lad accounts

Please do not not contact me any more i don't need people like you. ~Ge0rge
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vpmanchester
Phone Credit Vampire


Joined: 19 Jul 2006
Posts: 1139
Location: Customer Services Rep


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 3:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

07014219419 is the best one as I am fazing out the other ones. This one comes with the recordings. The best times to call are between 10am-5pm GMT, I usally answer other times it just really depends on how busy i am. It is always the lads fault if thet do not get through because they are not trying hard enough if they complain Wink

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The_Boobs
419Eater is my life


Joined: 02 Feb 2007
Posts: 353
Location: Cornwall, UK


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 3:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

What is the current number lads have to ring now?

Smile

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Please do not not contact me any more i don't need people like you. ~Ge0rge
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vpmanchester
Phone Credit Vampire


Joined: 19 Jul 2006
Posts: 1139
Location: Customer Services Rep


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 1:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Great piccy!!! beers!

It is always good to see the lads being creative! I can stall him for as long as needed and somehow me thinks I will be spending more time trying to figure out where I am going on holiday rather than my boring job. Hmmm wonder if tourism is good where Collins lives..will have to ask about the weather and stuff Razz

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Slightlyoutofit
Baiting Guru


Joined: 13 Feb 2007
Posts: 14310
Location: Foraging for Nuts.


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 1:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

He's a grabby little bastard isn't he?
He only sent me the photos an hour or so before he called you.

There's one here: http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=106067

Unfortunately, I'm busy in meetings all day and then I'm out to play golf with the CEO later, so Collins isn't going to get his WU payment until tomorrow.
And as I told you in a PM, I believe WU is always losing payments so I'm eventually going to have to go out to Accra myself to organise things.

If he calls whining again, could you just keep him hanging for a while? He's obviously panicking and the longer the better.
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vpmanchester
Phone Credit Vampire


Joined: 19 Jul 2006
Posts: 1139
Location: Customer Services Rep


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 12:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@Slightlyoutofit

Collins called this morning, the usual convo, i said you were not in at the moment and I would pass his message to you to check your email Rolling Eyes

then he calls back later and when he asks for you I just say 'why, is there a problem with your payment?' too that he says 'OH i will go and check my email.' So it seems he did not actually want to talk to you anyway Twisted Evil

I am sure he will call back....I will stall and act ignorant as usual while you can implement your WU fun and games Laughing Laughing


EDIT:
Collins has just called back and is dismayed that there is no payment there..so I give him a plausable excuse. This can be used in many many ways as I only repete what 'I heard' Wink so you can fit that into any situation.
http://media.putfile.com/collinspayment

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Kickstart
419Eater is my life


Joined: 04 Jan 2007
Posts: 447
Location: Godzone


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 10:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Heya Vp, you might get a call from one of my "Barrister "s looking for Robert or his sister Jaaaaanice.

Please get him to say his name several times Laughing

Robert is on holiday on eater island, and sis Jaaaaanice wont release any MORE money until he sends some decent identification through.

(this Hominidae got an asem that was half way through a scam, that was so long ago, he now really believes I had sent him $4800 already)

_________________
Albert Einstein wrote:
Only two things are infinate, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

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Sidney
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 08 Nov 2005
Posts: 22
Location: Sat in front of my computer


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 8:15 am Reply with quoteBack to top

You should get a call from Su55y 0wens asking for Rub5n V0n B54verhousen pretty soon, she is expecting some money from me so she better had call!
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it wasn't me
Elite Baiter


Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 1043
Location: sitting in the corner drinking wine, eating cheese


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 2:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@VP - My lad should be calling you again tonight (M0hd Abdulla) he's nothing if not persistent!
My character is the hearing impaired one and you are my girlfriend (who shouts alot). Please try and waist as much of his time as poss as he needs to tell you all about our business from scratch.
Thanks so much for this, I'm having great fun with this boy!! Very Happy

_________________
Do not be sceptical be pessimistic - Lotto scam.
I just don't know how to express the gravy of my happiness. - Barrister M Abd0lla
you nose i have been away in the middly east. -Ali Al1

Pretty Rose

pony
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Dragonslayer
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 22 Feb 2007
Posts: 66
Location: SB XLI


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 1:24 am Reply with quoteBack to top

thanks VP... Laughing

can't wait to get his mail
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it wasn't me
Elite Baiter


Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 1043
Location: sitting in the corner drinking wine, eating cheese


PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2007 12:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

@VP - Thanks so much!!!!! He's really pissed off now!!!
Great work x Laughing

Oh yeah....Mine was the hearing impaired one... Embarassed

_________________
Do not be sceptical be pessimistic - Lotto scam.
I just don't know how to express the gravy of my happiness. - Barrister M Abd0lla
you nose i have been away in the middly east. -Ali Al1

Pretty Rose

pony
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vpmanchester
Phone Credit Vampire


Joined: 19 Jul 2006
Posts: 1139
Location: Customer Services Rep


PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 10:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

@PJ
Well I think you have found yourself a keeper!! He has called back a couple more times and is determined to get to you..now I see why he does not belive me Wink

http://media.putfile.com/soloudo4pm
http://media.putfile.com/soludo425


For Dragonslayer - This lad wants the Doctor for his personal problems of which he did not want to share them with me Twisted Evil
http://media.putfile.com/Wants-the-Doctor

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PJ Tensely
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 31 Mar 2004
Posts: 21
Location: Here & There and Back Again


PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 8:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi VP!

Soludo is mine, the dummy. Very Happy

I was setting him up to try to give you a good giggle but of course he totally screwed that up. Sheesh. I'll slap him for that, and maybe I'll give him one more chance to brighten your day, then I'll have to put him onto other modalities I guess. At this rate he'll never get the money, someone keeps chopping his dollar.

Not that it matters, but for your info, I was telling him you were the "security gatekeeper" for my military contractor (me) phone line, and would deny everyone access to me, and perhaps not even admit I was available, unless and until he got the pass-phrases correct. For security reasons, of course. Very Happy

Anyway, you do most excellent work! I love it when you git them all riled Twisted Evil

Thank for that! Very Happy Very Happy
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chc74
Master Baiter


Joined: 29 Nov 2006
Posts: 113


PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 4:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi VP

should be calling for . I've told him that you may answer the phone, but don't know anything about the transaction, so he should tell you he wants to order four hundred and nineteen f1ux capacit0rs so I know it's him.

Thanks again, You're a star!!!!

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Enough of all these your insult,For God sake i am banker,i cannot do what you want me to do. - to

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vpmanchester
Phone Credit Vampire


Joined: 19 Jul 2006
Posts: 1139
Location: Customer Services Rep


PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2007 2:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

To the hearing impared baiter (I forget which one) your barrister from Malaysia, Australia called and I think I managed to confuse him quite well. Anyhow he says he will send you an email as we seem to not quite understand each other Wink so he is all yours now and I dont think he will want to deal with the mentally impared MaryAnne again

http://media.putfile.com/Malaysia-34

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