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 Lad reality; living in the mugu-verse

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Yastreb
Demented Opportunist


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 14721
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 2:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sorry if this has been done before, but I'm inspired to a "Ten Things I Learned from the Lads" - well, 10+ things.

- The West African cocoa industry is so full of treachery and murder, it makes the Colombian Cocaine Cartels look like Boy Scouts.

- Invoices and receipts are the same thing.

- Knights of the Realm are frequently employed by West African Security Firms and Law offices.

OK, that's three to start, any others?

_________________
I will heed the advice of a polite horse for it is written that more flies are caught with honey than vinegar... although assault carbines and monstrous wolves are still fun.

"I aim to misbehave."

Asena - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom United Kingdom United Kingdom United Kingdom Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana Ghana Benin United Kingdom
Mortar x14 Closed lad accounts x 174
Safari x 4 - Oyenka Chidinma - Lagos to Cotonou; Dickyboi - Lagos to Accra; Femmy - Lagos to Porto Novo; "Woody" - Accra to Singapore
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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Tom Dickenarry
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 12 Feb 2006
Posts: 46
Location: Just around the bend


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 2:52 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

4. IF YOU WNAT TO BE TKAEN SIRRIUSLY THEN TPYE IN CAPITALS AND THORW IN THE ODD SPELLIGN MISSTAKE.

5. It's ok to rob innocent victims as long as you always finish your emails with 'God bless you'

Laughing

_________________
SAEED AHMED - I WILL TELL YOU THAT I AM IN PAINS AFTER TAKING 6 INJECTIONS ON MY BUTOCKS BUT READING YOUR MAIL HAS REDUCED THE PAIN
YUSUF BALLO - please once again what is this dude you alway address me with?
JOSEPH FRANKLIN - i am base on trust God bless
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YeaWhatever
unimaginable bastard pig
unimaginable bastard pig


Joined: 24 Oct 2005
Posts: 4188
Location: Secret Lair


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 3:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

- Everyone is a prince or a king.

- Everyone's father or husband was a General.

- Everyone works at a bank.

- Everyone is a barrister.

- Everyone has American first and last names such as Williams Anthony.

- Everyone has the title of "Dr." no matter the situation.

- Everyone around you tends to get assassinated, poisoned, or killed in plane crashes.

- Everyone addresses everything as "urgent" and/or "confidential".

- Everyone has esophageal cancer.

- Everyone allocates 5% for expenses.

- Everyone needs a vital operation tomorrow, for weeks.

- Everyone is deeply religious.

_________________
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Safari<i>"I just want to know why."</i> - Koffi Kuku - The Road to Chad/Darfur
Safari<i>"We are in Kampala."</i> - Bernard Martin - The Road to the Bwindi Impenetrable Forest
Safari<i>"i have arrive safe in namibia"</i> - Tony Kalabi - The Road to the Skeleton Coast
Safari<i>"he is in aswan"</i> - Larry Ken - The Road to Abu Sunbul
Safari The Road to the Hot Zone</a>
T.W.A.T<a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=89779" target="_blank"> The Making of a TWAT</a>
T.W.A.T<a href="http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=100535" target="_blank"> The Second Coming of TWAT</a>
Golden Pith Mortar x17

Last edited by YeaWhatever on Fri Sep 29, 2006 4:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
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ugumaru
419Eater is my life


Joined: 21 Aug 2005
Posts: 381


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 3:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

- Law firms, high politicians and the governor of the cbn always use yahoo.
- Curses, insults, spirits and evil creatures can easily be returned by a simple "return to sender" email.

_________________
linus john: IDIOT OF MY TYPE
Shaista Nawaz: My pusyy cat and eveil bat kiss your mama pusssy.

Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone

OOOOOOOOOOO
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loading...
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 08 Mar 2006
Posts: 690
Location: 127.0.0.1


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 3:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

- everybody in the world has a mobile phone (learnt from a lad that was happy with my k7 landline number but dropped me because i didnt have a mobile).
- its perfectly normal to be asked your cause of death on a questionaire.
- making sense is for losers.
- 3 am is happy hour.
- every genuine bank uses a yahoo account.

_________________
go you polkhead, FULK- albert john
I AM THE KING OF SCAMMARS...I WILL GET YOU SOME DAY. -olivier kabah
i can pay $1,0000000 to get your cops to hell - jacob wilson

Safari lagos to douala "i am tired of roaming west africa"

i like pretty flags. want your own?
46X United Kingdom 10X Cellphone 8X Nigeria 5X United States 5X Spain 5X Netherlands 4X Ghana 4X South Africa 4X Malaysia 3X Togo 3X Switzerland 3X (???) 2X Russia 2X Canada 2X Benin Sweden Isle Of Man Ivory Coast and a sierra leone diamond site.
Mortar x9
Nurse Nasty needs a new endoscope. Donate!
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beaverman
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 22 Nov 2003
Posts: 49
Location: Ultratech


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 4:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

-Everone who has a passport had the picture taken in the 80's.

-Every computer has the spell check function disabled.

-The more important a Mugu sounds, the dumber they are.

_________________
Useful link for the real world: <a href="http://www.childminderfinder.com/">Childminder Finder</a>
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Jayhawk
Imaginary Lawyer


Joined: 07 Jul 2006
Posts: 4830


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 5:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

- West African prices have spiraled out of control. A simple item like a wooden box will cost you $16,000.

- Checks are a thing of the past. The economy now revolves around Western Union.

- Negotiating skills are essential. That is why it is imperative to get the best percentage split of a nonexistant deal.

_________________
Mortar x8 Nurse Nastys Audi TT Goat < slacking?
If purchasing the Smurf is a necesity, please do that for our sake for we do not have money here to do any purchase. - Reverend Miracle

just checked the site for update now, shipment smurfs in Porto Novo. Yes!! - Stanley
Easter Egg 2013
i will not share my smurfs with anybody again - Stanley (again)
Am very sorry if anyway i have rude to you. Yes pets are allowed as far as you will occupy the apartment alone, you can release the Kraken.

i will kill you even if it take me to go to jail i will do that because i hate you with all my life....
assisin killer to Feathers McGraw
PLEASE I BEG YOU TO LET ME KNOW THAT PIGGIES OF YOURS PLEASE... assisin killer to Feathers again
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MarkMark64
Wannabe Baiter


Joined: 14 Aug 2006
Posts: 99
Location: Behind my desk....


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 6:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nigeria has sooo much unclaimed cash in their government accounts, one wonders why they are so broke?
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Al Coholic
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 20 Aug 2006
Posts: 62
Location: East Coast USA


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 6:42 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Don't be silly. They're broke because they keep giving it all away to random Americans and Brits, keeping only a small portion of it for there hard work and efforts.

_________________
this is not the way to walk job.we must be in control and not the mugu once a client tell you what to do he is no longer a client.afterall all we are after is big money and not small peanut that will not even take two day to finish. - Eno Williams
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Master Yoda
Master Baiter


Joined: 02 Mar 2005
Posts: 122
Location: Behind the enemy lines, definitelly


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 7:22 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nigeria is very far from broke... that is the reality. So much oil flowing around. It's citizens that are broke, not the country in general. Sad
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mugu_cultist
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 02 Apr 2004
Posts: 857
Location: Deep 13


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 7:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

- PDF files are mysterious and should be discarded in favour of more lawyer-friendly formats, like jpeg.

- It is appropriate -- even preferred etiquette -- to attach pictures of your erect genitalia in the very first e-mail you send prospective online date partners.

- There are lots of scammers out there, many who have stories identical to mine, but mine is genuine.

- There is nothing unusual about having an e-mail address like [email protected] and signing your e-mails "Barrister Frank Okafor"

_________________
"I HOPE THEY WILL BE ENOUGH DOG FOR YOU TO EAT AS YOR WEDDING CAKE.."

"i really felt pity on the girl you marry. your pennis is like a cow." -- adams mensah

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IM_Dumm
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 06 Dec 2004
Posts: 822
Location: Del Boca Vista Phase 3


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

- Every deal will be lost if money is not sent immediately, but then (somehow) never seems to expire.
- Every lad is single and available, if you are a female in need of companionship (even if they work for the lottery, etc.)

_________________
"THEY STILL FEED YOU WITH PLASTIC SPOONS THAT IS WHY YOU SOMETIMES TALK LIKE A BABY." Mr. Yuguda Yuguda
"u are noting but a hee goat fuck dick" Denis Morgan
"...I am still angry tyoing this to you..if you can se my face right now..its contorted because of you.." Bernard Fenendez
"you can as well fuck the hell out" Barr. Peter Ojiko
"Don;t even try to mail me again,just forget about me forever.Even GO AWAY" Abu Tafa
Easter Egg 2013
Code:
Closed lad accounts x 2
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Jayhawk
Imaginary Lawyer


Joined: 07 Jul 2006
Posts: 4830


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

- Banks employ thousands of people whose sole job is to track down a reputable foreign partner to assist in the transfer of funds. This group of dedicated individuals are lead by Charles Soludo.

- These thousands of bank employees to not talk to one another, as secrecy is of the highest importance.

- West Africa is the deal capital of the world, as all deals are "100% risky free."

- Forget Silicon Valley. The true inventions that will shape tomorrow are being invented today in West Africa. These inventions, ranging from special ink that can only be removed via expensive solutions to low cost Epson printers that can print perfect $100 bill replicas, exist only in the hands of a few select young, brilliant West Africans.

_________________
Mortar x8 Nurse Nastys Audi TT Goat < slacking?
If purchasing the Smurf is a necesity, please do that for our sake for we do not have money here to do any purchase. - Reverend Miracle

just checked the site for update now, shipment smurfs in Porto Novo. Yes!! - Stanley
Easter Egg 2013
i will not share my smurfs with anybody again - Stanley (again)
Am very sorry if anyway i have rude to you. Yes pets are allowed as far as you will occupy the apartment alone, you can release the Kraken.

i will kill you even if it take me to go to jail i will do that because i hate you with all my life....
assisin killer to Feathers McGraw
PLEASE I BEG YOU TO LET ME KNOW THAT PIGGIES OF YOURS PLEASE... assisin killer to Feathers again
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Emma Stralian
419Eater is my life


Joined: 30 Jun 2006
Posts: 358
Location: Gone!


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 9:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

For some strange reason, they would rather have a 10-digit number than a wad of cash!

Image

_________________
United States United Kingdom
YOU BETTER GET SERIOUS AND STOP PLAY SOMETHING WITHOUT GAIN. I SORRY FOR U - Richard Johnson
be care full, unless you want die look if i vex all this things way you de do you go regret it - Samuel Bekija
As it is difficult for a carmel, to pass through the eye of a needle, so it is for a refugee, to get short terms loan here in Africa - Barr Godwin Otemba
Every time you get a million dollars, something queers the deal - Homer


Check out <a href="http://members.419eater.com/~emma_stralian/forms.html" target="new">Emma's Funky Forms</a>. Death threats guaranteed or your money back!
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pifpaf
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 14 Sep 2006
Posts: 26
Location: Samba


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 9:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

- A deal sum always ends by 500,000,00.
Examples:
12,500,000,00USD;
18,500,000,00EUR;
25,500,000,00GBP
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ugumaru
419Eater is my life


Joined: 21 Aug 2005
Posts: 381


PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 11:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Jayhawk wrote:
- Forget Silicon Valley. The true inventions that will shape tomorrow are being invented today in West Africa. These inventions, ranging from special ink that can only be removed via expensive solutions to low cost Epson printers that can print perfect $100 bill replicas, exist only in the hands of a few select young, brilliant West Africans.


You dont need a printer for that. A very old pc is just fine, their floppy drives can print.

_________________
linus john: IDIOT OF MY TYPE
Shaista Nawaz: My pusyy cat and eveil bat kiss your mama pusssy.

Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone Cellphone

OOOOOOOOOOO
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rumbero
"Professional Liar"


Joined: 06 Jun 2006
Posts: 3662
Location: All the Salsa Night Clubs


PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 1:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The most important

Everything is 100 % risk free
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asiaguy
Elite Baiter


Joined: 14 Apr 2006
Posts: 1180
Location: Me Luv U Long Time


PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 2:11 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Large West African banks hire a single person to answer all the calls to the head office of the bank on his/her pre-paid mobile phone.

^^^^^^also applies to law firms in West Africa

West African banks don't have SWIFT codes and payee accounts. But they all have a "secretary" who can accept service fees payable via WU/MG.

A photo taken outdoors with a palm tree in the background CAN be used for West African passports, bank ID's, barrister ID's and International driver's licenses simultaneously. (one pic fits all)

DEATH can be the cause of death.

_________________
You must be stupied and mad you bastard full she goat. (Charles Soludo)
Madam, is not your signature for Christ sack (Prince Tony Yobo William)
WOMAN YOU SMELL UR ASS SOON AND DIE LIKE RAT WAIT THERE (Barrister John Ola)
I will cock you in a bottle and add peper to your eyes while you will die (My lost love Lad...Morgan)
fuck off and never contact me any more get this insult to your entire family (Barrister Philip Nowoke after 9 futile trips to WU)
I don't know how you think they will be liking your asshole (Paul Mbecki - banker Lad)
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Centaure
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 812
Location: Roasting lads in hell


PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 2:24 am Reply with quoteBack to top

They have a compliment for everyday of the years Laughing

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Cellphone x Wathever
Proud member of Chalco's unicef massbaiting team.
For Mr. Sosbee
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XXCoder
Master Baiter


Joined: 06 Jul 2006
Posts: 135


PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 4:09 am Reply with quoteBack to top

All emails is a surprise.

It may come to you as a surpise...

_________________
Lad the Editor: "I want to use this opportunity to tell you that what you said was very reorganized by me" Cool.
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jose_cuervo
Moderator


Joined: 01 Mar 2006
Posts: 7851
Location: Blackacre


PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 4:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

punctuationand spaces betweenwords isnot a valued business skill among barristers doctors bankersdiplomats oranyother executive levelposition ooooo

Diplomats are required to go through customs just like everyone else, often get detained, never have money to cover those pesky unforseen emergencies and never ever fly directly to their destination.

_________________
Black Ribbon ~ star Safari Tattoo

“I guess a man is the only kind of varmint sets his own trap, baits it, and then steps in it.” ~ John Steinbeck
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Sgt Cho
419Eater is my life


Joined: 26 Apr 2006
Posts: 476


PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 4:49 am Reply with quoteBack to top

You dont have to enter a lottery to be a lotto winner

_________________
'then you are goat zoomtard' vallentino

'call me what ever you like my God is biger than yours amen' bekija zuma

'why is the government allowing people like you to live among human beings. People like you are suppose to be at the zoo.' janice churton

'Please come and f* me my love,your bobs are driving me crazy' EO

Cellphone x 88 Mortar x2
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Dicko
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 01 Sep 2006
Posts: 71
Location: The Land of OZ


PostPosted: Sat Sep 30, 2006 5:06 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The business and literacy etiquette of dealing with such large sums of money compels every sentence to end with OK.


This remarkably subtle negotiating technique leaves the sentence open, and can be read as either a statement of fact, or a question (OK?).

_________________
Work in progress...
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lokie
Master Baiter


Joined: 30 Jun 2006
Posts: 123
Location: teh interweb


PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 12:45 am Reply with quoteBack to top

:- All documents must be submitted to the ministry of justice
:- Integrity is defined NOT by how honest you are, but by how many scales of justice you can fit in your letter head
:- All official documents are written in comic sans
:- Interest paid on deposits is a foreign concept to West African banks
:- (following on) No one deposits money in a West African bank, everyone knows a trunkbox is far more secure!
:- (still following on!) Security companys will only look after a trunkbox if a foreign investor is needed to get it back.
:- West African women can spot the man of their dreams on YIM in under 5 minutes!
:- Money can't buy me love, but a WU transfer can!
:- Death by chocolate isn't just a desert in West Africa Laughing
:- Banks, Barristers, and just about every other professional person will happily take your call at 3am local time.

Lokie

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carrinthebanner
Master Baiter


Joined: 26 Jul 2006
Posts: 132
Location: the well of lost plots


PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 7:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

everyone is dying of cancer and finds jesus in their last days of life. however, they manage to hang on long enough to get your money.

_________________
Ain't it a fine life Carryin' the banner through it all!
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