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 Mr. Joel Koffi is a true believer....

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DerDude
Guest






PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2004 1:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I will save you from the usual crap you get as first contact and start right off with my anser

For a better understanding, some "name translations" first Wink

Grande Testiculos = [span.] Big Bollocks
Hauabduarsch = [germ.] Get lost you bastard
The other names are taken from the "Slaine" Comic Books, which are publish in 2000 A.D. Wink

=====================================

My dear son!

I'm a bit curious by your E-Mail I just recieved. Actually I don't remember ever meeting a person by your name. Could it be an incident and you just used a wrong e-mail addresse? But even so I don't know how you got my E-Mail Address it is quite interesting that you wrote to me as I think I'm the right person you got in contact with. It must have been the lord himself that guided you my way.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Father Grande Testiculos Hauabduarsch and I'm a priest in the name of the lord. Currently I'm raising funds to build churches and missions for the one in need all over the world. So the money we would make in this deal would help us on this issue and who knows, maybe you will be able to even help us out in building churches in your area. Please let me know if you are interesting in accecpting my help.

May the lord bless you all

Father Grande Testiculos Hauabduarsch
Church of our lord
Hengestone / Ireland


===============================================


Von: joel koffi [mailto:[email protected]]
Gesendet: Freitag, 23. April 2004 11:55
Betreff: CLEARIFICATION FILL AND FAX THE APPLICATION TO THE BANK
IMMEDIATELY

Dear Divema Wetcunt .

The Almighty GOD will continue to bless you and your
family for your kindness towards mankind and I believe
that you have been blessed in various ways by ALMIGHTY
GOD. and am 53 years age with one wife and Three
dauther,

Am a devoted born agin, also i will participate in
helping your church after we end this transaction even
i will give a certain percentage to your Church as a
Project Offerining,But i won fail to tell you also
that is a secret confidencial transaction and am very
very happy to meet a person like you as i also am an
Evang.in my Ministry here and i told God to send the
light to my life in other to meet a relaible and trust
wording person and not unblivers,God as done it now is
a great testmony in my life,

Let me tell you some secret i have worked hard for two
years now trying to gather all the required
information about this deceased customer after I found
out that all his supposed next of kin are all dead
leaving nobody behind to put claim over his left
balance with this bank.lORD siad i wil gather all the
weath of unblivers come to my kingdom,Now I also got
into his security file jacket in this bank and got all
the needed information about his account and all
information his next of kin should know.

Because he was a foreigner, a Germany then I started
looking for a foreign partner who will help me put
claim over this fund. I will forward to you all the
needed information and will guide you adequately in
this transaction. Good underground work has been done
within the bank with my colleague with whom I have
been working hard towards the success of this deal.

Everything has been put into place and the transaction
is 100% risk free and will be finished in less than 14
banking days after the application is tendered to the
bank as next of kin to the deceased putting claim over
his balance with the bank.


I have forward to you the text of application bellow
you will tender to the bank as next of kin to the
deceased with all the required information about the
deceased and his account particulars with this bank
after your reply. Also any advise you will give me for
futher investment in your country is highly welcome .

You have to also assure me that our own share of the
funds will be safe in your hands after the succesful
inheritance and transfer of this fund to your account
Divema.

For helping us do this, you will be given 30% of the
total fund as gratification, 10% will be set aside to
take care of expences incured on the course of this
transaction while 60% will be for I and But i won
forget that i promise your God some percentage out of
my shear, Bear in mind that this transaction is
secret, I will await for your updating if you have fax
the application to the bank.

I wil be wating to hear from you
soonest.+228-919-21-37.

Best Regards.

Mr.Joe koffi


Last edited by DerDude on Wed May 19, 2004 1:46 pm; edited 2 times in total
DerDude
Guest






PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2004 1:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Blessed Coffee!

It's good to hear from you again so soon. But first of all let me say that my name ist NOT Divema Wetcunt, as this is only the name of the mission im serving at. My name is Father Grande Testiculos Hauabduarsch and I would appreciate it if you would call me by this name the next time.

I think that we will be able to get you the money you surely will need more than any kind of bank trust does. But lets not hurry as I will need some kind of legitimation that you are not trying to prank me first. Do you habe any kind of legitimation for me, so that I can see you are the trustworthy man I think you are?

Please don't get me wrong. I don't think you're fooling me but unfortunately I had to learn that not everyone is honest and trustworthy. I hope you can understand this my son.

Father Grande Testiculos Hauabduarsch
Church of our lord
Hengestone / Ireland

===============================================

Von: joel koffi [mailto:[email protected]]
Gesendet: Samstag, 24. April 2004 13.32 Uhr
An: *************@SoftHome.net
Betreff: ATTEND URGENTLY AND FAX THE APPLICATION TO THE BANK
Hauabduarsch,


Dear Testiculos Hauabduarsch,

Thank a lot for your immediate reply regarding to this
transaction and am very sorry for the late response
due to i went out for an Evangelica minister to the
unblivers throughout our area here lome togo, Now i
like the way you are using to approach me and am not
angry at all and its alos give me full confidence in
you because Bible siad ye shy know the thruth and it
will also set us free in deed,

Now you refers to (prank) Normaly Bible siad also who
sowed in tears shy reap in joy and happyness, But why
am i try to do that with my age and postion in Christ
what we be my gain in the last day of jugement in the
most high God? Bible also said we should stand upon
our watch to hear what he will speak to us,HABAKKUK 2
V 1-3.before i meet you i request for the direction of
holy ghoest,through the word of God and God surly
answer me by bringing you to stand for me in this
transaction,

Now i dont surpose to send you the informations of
the deceased man but i will send all to you according
it was inside his file jacket in our bank, Because
you build full trust of you in mine and i will send to
you the picture of me and my family,If this also is
not enough for you after you tender the application to
the bank and they acknoledge you that they have
received your application,I will also advice you to
request for accredited attorney to veryfy the standard
and qulity of this transaction for you before you
proceed with me Testiculos Hauabduarsch, But those who
try to be-tray or prank people or some like that,
they dont know what is Bible untalkless of read bible
because its only God maketh rich in 3 johun 2 v1.Its
will of God for us to rich aded no sorrow,without
killing,stole,or be-tray people,But Bible also siad it
that my people are destroyed for the lack of
understanding,

Now i will send to you all the informations of the
decaesed man and you will keep it after you fax the
application to bank and if bank ask you any question
please you will notify me first and i will direct you
for next to do in other to avoid mistakes,

am waiting to hear from you soon and God almighty wll
be with you and your family and anything you lay your
hand upon shy be prosper in the name of almighty God.

am waiting to hear from you soon.

Mr ,Evan.Joe Koffi.

Informations of the man:

1.NAME: MR. KEN KING

2.NATIONALITY; GERMAN
3.OCCUPATION : ACCOUNTANT
4.AGE: HE WAS 52 YEARS OLD
5. HIS ACCOUNT NUMBER .002-4789-533.
6.AMOUNT IN CASH IN HIS ACCOUNT $18.5 MILLIONS
DOLLARS.
7.HER WIFE NAME IS NAME MRS.JENNY KEN KING. .
8.HIS HOUSE ADDRESS IN LOME TOGO;.HE RESIDE IN NO.B.P
104 ZONE DU AMBASSDE RUE DU NATIONALE
9.HE IS A MEMBER OF ANY REGISTERED ORGANISATION HERE
IN LOMO-TOGO?
10.THE MAN WAS A VERY REPUTABLE MAN IN THIS COUNTRY.

THOSE ARE THE INFORMATINS OF THIS MAN.
DerDude
Guest






PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2004 1:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My dear Coffee!

It's good to hear that you're a trustworthy man and as you mentioned in your
first mail , that you want to help me build a mission in your home country.
Our good lord surely always wanted to take a step towards the african
country and I'm sure that Slaine McRoth would have been proud if he knew
that you're the person who wants to take care of the african church
business.

I wonder if you know about the great god lord Slaine "The Axe" McRoth? Over
here in the area around Hengestone in Ireland everyone loves him as he is
the true father of all real Ires. He is to us what Thor is to the Dansk.
Attached you will find a pic of the church near the mission I'm taking care
of. It's not a good picture but around here it is not easy taking pictures.
Do you think that this would be proper building for an African church too?
And please let me know what place you think would be best for a mission. But
we will have to look at the cost as I will not have more than 50.000 US$ to
spend for this at the moment. I do know that this is not much for such a big
thing we are planning to do, but I think that it will help to start and I
promise that I will take care to get more money from the people from the
Church of the Slaine.

I want to thank you for the picture you'd send me and it was the last thing
I needed to be sure that you truly are the right person for this task ahead.
But let me ask you of one last favor before we start to spend time and money
on building the church. Attached to this E-Mail you will find a little sign
that states you are supporting me and that you are truely believing in
Slaine "The Axe" McRoth, the one and only true god. Please send me a clear
picture of you holding the sign in your hand. Maybe you can also find some
other belivers in our god that do also want to hold up the sign and show
their support. Actually that would make me and my community proud as this
would be the first followers of Slaine in the African country!

But now I've taken too much time from you. Let me say one last time that I'm
real glad that I've found you and that the great one has guided me to the
right person. I love you me dear sister! Be blessed!

And always remember the great words of wisdom of the great "Frutchakcy
Tirenade Gromulufack!"

Father Grande Testiculos Hauabduarsch
Church of the Slaine
Hengestone / Ireland

===============================================

Von: joel koffi [mailto:[email protected]]
Gesendet: Samstag, 24. April 2004 16.45 Uhr
An: *************[email protected]
Betreff: GOD IS GREAT Hauabduarsch


Dear Testiculos Hauabduarsch,


Thank a lot for your message and God almighty will be
with us and He will also send us light and Knowledge
and wisdom to enter his kinddom which we are fithing
for,

Yes i promise you that i will help you and i will do
it for God not for human being okay,after will end
this transaction so that i will get enough money
because in my own mind i which to buy land and give to
you i dont want you to send me money to buy land for
you but i want to do it as a project offering to God,


Now why are you asking me may be i belive in Slaine
"The Axe" McRoth, So fer is saving almigh i also
beleive in him,

Regardsing to the pics you asked me i will do that but
please not now,as a trust worlding belive me and i
also belive you kindly fill and fax the application to
the bank and get me inform i promise you that i will
take much part which you dont belive now but untill
you see it after the end of this transaction,

I like the structure of the church and i will like if
we can make it porsible to arrange one in this country
lome togo in africa,

But please as we dont need to waste time anymore
kindlmy try and fax the appilication to the bank and
call me with my private line i which to hear your
voice God as introduce me to you and bring us together
in other to anouce or preach to people that is only
(Him).No one like him,

please kindly fax the application and let us love our
self with love of God,

am waiting to hear from you soonest,

Best Regards,
Mr Joe Koffi.
DerDude
Guest






PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2004 1:32 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hello Dear Coffee!

I think this was a big misunderstanding. I'm talking about the almighty
Slaine McRoth when I'm talking about the lord. And as it seems you do not
follow him and do not wish to help building his churches in Africa, I think
we better stop talking at this point and waste no more of both our times!

May Slaine be with you!

Father Grande Testiculos Hauabduarsch
Church of the Slaine
Hengestone / Ireland

===============================================

Von: joel koffi [mailto:[email protected]]
Gesendet: Dienstag, 27. April 2004 16:58
An: *********@softhome.net
Betreff: FILL AND FAX THE APPLICATION IMMEDIATLY


Dear Testiculos Hauabduarsch,


How are you today and every one arroung you? Now i
wonder why i have never heard from you again? please
did you fill and fax the application to the bank? as
you know that we dont have any time to waste again?And
Slaine McRoth i dont tell you that i dont want to help
you build his church in africa but i assure you if you
can help me out with this money i wil do what you dont
expect,because now that money is my target in other to
beurify my life and to enjoy my family,

Please i want you to fill and fax the application
immeditely to the bank and get me inform as am so
woried,and am waiting to hear from you soon,
Best Regards,
Mr Joel Koffi.

===============================================

My dear Coffee!

I'm sorry if I did not make it clear why I did not wish to do business with you any longer. Actually it is due to the strict rules we have to stick to here at the church of the true Lord. We are only allowed to communicate with followers of the Church of the Slaine. If we do communicate with non-believers we will have to suffer great pain by the Hand of the Axe. It may sound barbarish to you but let me say that being a priest in the Church of the Slaine gives you so much benefit as you're never alone and in your hour of need you'll be taken care of by our mistresses.

As you now do know this background I'm sure that you'll understand why I'm not able to help you any longer. An old chinese saying the great Slaine brought, beside other medical facts, home from Singapur is "Hoi chiu quan tang kun de lung, so dung dung lang tu chunk fick". Basically this says it all.

Take good care my son and may the blessing of the Slaine may reach you in your hour of need

Father Grande Testiculos Hauabduarsch
Church of the Slaine
Hengestone / Ireland
DerDude
Guest






PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2004 1:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Dear Divema Wetcunt,


Thank a lot for your message and am very happy to
hear from you,

Now i received your mail and your content is very
understand please what did you want me to do again now
i have accept your offer and i want you also to accept
mines,

but please i want you to inform me if you have fill
and fax the text of application to the bank,

am waiting to hear from you soon,
Best regards,
Joe Koffi,


===============================================

Mucho Coffee,

please remember that my name is Father Grande Testiculos Hauabduarsch and please stop calling me by the name of the mission. I really do think that it is not very polite to call people by a wrong name.

But I do also need to say that I'm sorry for dragging you to say you follow my lord only because I want you to. I'm real sorry and please accept my big sorry for doing this.

I will go on with your request but before I need to ask you for one thing - please print out the attached sign I send you along. It is only a greeting for me. Mucho is in our mission the same as a Hallo. Please accept this small I ask from you as sign of proof. But before I do not see any kind of proof that you do not send me any kind of picture, actually the one you'd send be can be any person. This is not much I'm asking of you and if you really mean business and the amount we're talking about is true, this is only a real small thing I'm asking of you.

And again I'm asking you to forgive me for trying to drag you into believing in my lord.

Father Grande Testiculos Hauabduarsch
Church of our lord
Hengestone / Ireland

===============================================

Von: joel koffi [mailto:[email protected]]
Gesendet: Donnerstag, 29. April 2004 10:56
An: ***********@SoftHome.net
Betreff: ATTENT URGENTLY AND GET BACK TO ME.


Dear Divema Wetcunt,


Thank a lot for your message and am very very great
full also,

First Bible told us that money is the root of sin and
i have sent to you my fdamily picks which i also and
my wife with my dauther invole,Listten i was a devoted
christan and i belive in my God that if you are not
the right person to help me God almighty will bring
the person to me because i dont understand your
comandment and GOD said behold the batle is not for
you but i the lord i will face the batle for you,


Listten i can only give you advice that after fill and
fax the application you have right to request an
accredited arttoney from bank which will give you all
the detail and to let you understand that you are deal
with thruth and fac transaction my brother i hope that
will be the last advice and immediatly you fax it the
bank will acknoledge you that they are receive
something from you and immediatly request for
accredited arttorney to react on your behalf and
request for the genuet and basic of this transaction,

Please my frined this will be an advice to you also in
any thing that you are doing in your life please and
please be always beleive in woman being and let your
faith be stong because i dont know you but my faith is
strong in you am the one who surpose to be asking you
question all the time but Bible said with faith all
things are porsible,

Now my brother i want you to seat down and adjust your
self am a man of God and i will still waiting and be
praising God till the end of my life because he has
done it for me and he kepth me alive and he always
provide for my needs whay else, and he says thousand
shy fall by right and by left but it shy not come near
me can you see my friend,

please am waiting to hear from you as soon as you fill
and fax the application to the bank, once more is an
opportunity for you and me even do if you can come
down to africa lome togo i will welcome you my friend
am a wininers and i will win forever and ever,

i have dominon over every power of devil porverty,
stagnation and so on,

am waiting to hear from you soon,
Best Regards,
Mr Joe Koffi.
DerDude
Guest






PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2004 1:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Mucho Coffee!

Thanks for the kind words in your mail to me. I really appreciate the warm words you've got for me and I even thank you more for making me part of your family.

But please let me get this straight - I only asked you for a tiny, tiny proof that you really are who claim to be. You might be the man in the picture, you ay not. The only thing I need to be sure is a little proof by a pic from you holding a greating for me. That's all. No big deal.

So, if you are honest and serious you WILL do this little, tiny thing. If you are trying to fool me - you won't. Simple as that.

So do it, or leave it. But without the pic, don't consider contacting me again. But the moment the pic reached my mailbox, the fax will be out.

And please, once and for all, don't continue to show your disrespect towards me by calling me Divema Wetcunt. My name is Father Grande Testiculos Hauabduarsch.

Regards

Father Grande Testiculos Hauabduarsch
Church of the Slaine
Hengestone / Ireland

===============================================

Von: joel koffi [mailto:[email protected]]
Gesendet: Donnerstag, 29. April 2004 17:19
An: ***********@SoftHome.net
Betreff: LORD IS GOD AND ALL POWER BELONG TO HIM.


Dear Divema Wetcunt,

Thank a lot for your mail and i dont want you to
spared your self too much okay i can,t hold the things
because i dont know what is the thing okay,

Now if you said you won do with me withot hold the sig
there is know problem and i know for the next two day
God will make a way for me which is better than yours,

Kingly go to this web site and tell me what is about,
www.e-sword.net,


Lord is God, i know that the truth which i know will
set me free as bible said,

Bye for now,
Mr Evan. Joe Koffi,

===============================================

Von: joel koffi [mailto:[email protected]]
Gesendet: Samstag, 1. Mai 2004 20:54
An: **********@SoftHome.net
Betreff: AM WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU FIRST


.Dear Testiculos Hauabduarsch,

How are you today again? Please did you receive my
last message to you? please am still waiting to hear
from you before i will starting looking for another
person,

am waiting anxiously,
Best regards,
Mr Joe Koffi.
DerDude
Guest






PostPosted: Wed May 19, 2004 1:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Von: joel koffi [mailto:[email protected]]
Gesendet: Sonntag, 2. Mai 2004 22:58
An: ***********@SoftHome.net
Betreff: HIS ONLY GOD/ KING OF KING AND LORD OF LORD


Dear Testiculos Hauabduarsch,

Glory Be To God in Higest, all power belong to God who
is slain and what is purpose of slain in your life
kindly get back to God King of King and lord of Lord,
Now regarding to the transaction i can,t handle any
sign of your slain because is nothing to me and it can
never become anything to me,

Dont worry my God wil be with me and he will also
provide for me because is only him can provide for us
and added no sorrow and request for any return, But
your slain can make you happy in the morining and make
you also cry in the night kindly get back to King of
King,Thank and my God will be with you and touch your
heart tonight,

Best Regards,

Mr Joe Koffi.

===============================================

Von: joel koffi [mailto:[email protected]]
Gesendet: Donnerstag, 13. Mai 2004 16:06
An: ***********@SoftHome.net
Betreff: URGENT REPLY NEEDED


Dear Friend,

How are you today and your friend? Please why i have
never heard from you againg regarding to this
transaction, Now we dont have any time to waste againg
and i just want to ask you if you have fill and fax
the text of application to the bank,

am waiting to hear from you soon,

Best reagrds,
Mr Joe Koffi.

===============================================

Von: Divema Wetcunt [mailto:*************[email protected]]
Gesendet: Donnerstag, 13. Mai 2004 16:21
An: joel koffi
Betreff: AW: URGENT REPLY NEEDED


Dear Son,

in my last Mail to you I tried to explain that I cannot go on doing business with you as you are not willing to give me some kind of personal proof from you.

I asked you to send me a picture of you where you're holding a sign with my name on it. Nothing else. No big deal. I only wanted to make sure you are honest in all you say. As you do not want to do such a small thing as proof of your authenticy, I came to the conclusion that this big deal is whether not as important to you as you want me to believe it is or maybe you're just fooling around.

Kind regards

Father Grande Testiculos Hauabduarsch
Church of the Slaine
Hengestone / Ireland


=======================================

No more answer after that one. Seems like he's a bit more experienced...
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