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 Basil Fawlty and the Hairy Clam Corp

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Torn
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 28 Jul 2006
Posts: 60
Location: Australia


PostPosted: Sun Jul 30, 2006 4:04 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I decided to take this one on: Mine In bold, comments in italics!

I Use this from Barrister Martins:

Quote:


From: "barr_chambermartins0"<[email protected]>
To: undisclosed-recipients:;
Subject: PROPOSAL
Date: Sat, 29 Jul 2006 23:39:54 +0000


Barrister Chamber Martins
Suite 12
5th Floor
Bar Beach Towers
V/Island-Lagos
Nigeria-West Africa
Phone 234-806-833-8150

Dear Sir,

PROPOSAL
My Name is Barrister Chamber Martins of the above address, i am a personal Attorney to Peter craig the former Chief Executive officer of {African development Oil Company here in nigeria. He died on active duty with his driver on their way to one of the exploration site in River state of nigeria. he died on the 10thday of October 2002. My late client was the Chief Executive officer of {African development Oil Company} for 25 years and was retired on the 30th day of September 2002.
He was recalled for a consultancy job before his death. He left all his credentials with my chamber for the drafting of a new contract agreement with the same company Before his death.
The late peter craig made a numbered time (fixed) deposit for twelve calendar months valued at US$5.7M with the first bank of Nigeria plc with open beneficiary and No one will ever come forward to claim this fund since his death and according to the Nigerian banking law the money will revert to the ownership of the Nigerian government if the account owner is certified dead and nobody comes forward to claim it after five years.
So far the bank has written my chamber a routine notification letter to provide the next of kin of his or have the account confiscated within the next ten official working days.

I would like to appoint you to hold on my behalf as the next of kin to inherit the sum of $5.7 Million for our sharing on 50% 50 basis.
I have the necessary death certificate issued at the time of his death which is in my chambers file and besides that there will be other probate consent documents that will be processed through the federal high court of Nigeria to back up all the claim we may make.
To this effect, all I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect me and you from any breach of the law of the land here if you have agreed.
So kindly acknowledge this proposal if you're minded to assist through my financial attorney's mail ([email protected] or [email protected] and also provide me with your direct contact telephone lines where i can open communications with you.

Thanks for your anticipated reply
Barrister Chamber Martins



I REPLY:


Dear Sir,
My Name is Mr Basil Fawlty M.B.E,
I represent My company, The Hairy Clam Corp L.M.T.
We Are a very successful company based in Muffville Tennesee USA.
We specialise in the sale of Hairy claim world wide and last year made a record gross
profit of $2 million dollars Us (see attached Images).
I am the Copulation chairman and major shareholder of my company, and I would be most intrested in your proposal.
Please forward details at your convenience, The Hairy Clam Corp looks forward to dealing with you.
Regards Copulation Chairman Mr Basil Fawlty M.B.E


I also attached those:

Image

Image

Unbeleivable The lad ignores the two finger salute I give him (see pic) he responds:

Quote:
PAUL EMEKA <[email protected]> to me
More options 8:40 am (4 hours ago)



Dear Mr. Basil Fawlty M.B.E

Your email was received with thanks. My name is Barrister Paul Emeka, the financial attorney Chamber Martins. I am pleased with the profile of your company as outlined in your email. I am equally willing to do business with Hairy Clam Corp L.M.T.

However, I am interested in working with a person of integrity who will help me retrieve my late client money from the Bank and help me invest the money wisely for our jointly benefits. I am a lawyer with tremendous experience, it is my duty to establish you legally here as the Next of Kin to my late client and the money release to you by the Bank holding the funds. I have been able to do my home-work perfectly before contacting you for assistance. All I needed is your assurance that you are not going to sit on the money when it finally gets to you.

Besides, the money involved is a large sum of money; I am not too much in a hurry to release information about this transaction without ascertaining the status and the background of the person associating with me. As you will agreed with me, we have never met with each other before, there is need for us to familiarize with each other as it will help build mutual trust and understanding on both ends.

I therefore, advise that you provide me with the following genuine information about you and your family background. The under listed information about you is very necessary to me at this very binging of our relationship.

(1) Your full names / Age. (2) Your valid identification document for me to know you. (3) Your address/ place of birth. (4) Your martial status/ your telephone number preferably your cell phone number if any for direct communication to you on the matter.( 5) your area of specialization.

Upon receiving as stated herein, I shall give to you step-by-step procedures involved in actualizing this task fast without any problem attached at both ends both now and after the transaction. Attach herein is my valid identification document for you to know me. Note that similar identification document is expected from you in return. I am looking forward to your prompt response to this email to enable me give further insight to you.

Thank you and God bless for your anticipated co-operation.

Regards,
Paul Emeka ESQ
Tel: 00234-1-8151486.

Click to enlarge 600px
Image


I respond

Dear PAUL EMEKA ,
I received you missive just today, as Ive been very busy at our Atlanta Hairy Clam Farm. Now that Im back at the Office
I have the opportunity to respond.
Likewise I am intrested only in buisness partners of integrity, Find attached my passport as instructed.
My Name Is Mr Basil Fawlty age 67, I have a wife Cybil Fawlty, and a Butler called Manuel (he's from Barcelona)
My address is 117/203 python towers Avenue,
illinios USA.
Unfortunately I do not use cell or mobile telephones as I have a pacemaker installed in my heart and emmisions can effect it, which may be very dangerous.
However I have a land telephone you can contact me on, at the Hairy Clam Corp L.M.T Its quite busy there as you can imagine, so If Im not avail, please leave a message.
tel
+ 091 xxxxxxxxxx Renboys number


My buisness specialty is the farming and sales Of Hairy Clams, We sell Globally and this is a lucrative buisness, with
Demand almost too much tio keep up with at times. Many beleive Hairy Clams to be an Aphrodisiac you know.
Our company turned over a net profit of $2 million dollars last year. Hairy Clams are very popular.
Please Instruct the next step,
Mr Basil Fawlty
The Hairy Clam Corp L.M.T


click to enlarge 600px ~Thanks Fanny Plunge Very Happy

Image

I forgot to slap him for the lousy passport (will never do that!) So I ask for a trophy right off, to establish trust! LOL Its only a mark, I can always
bait fromanother addy if he burns. Very Happy


Dear Mr Paul,

Your Passport appears to be very dark and Is difficult for me to see, I am not a young man as you know and my eyes are weak these days. Will you please forward another photograph of yourself, as I could not see the image.
Perhaps you could have it taken of yourself holding a card with "The Hairy Clam Corp" written in large bold letters so I know that it is you, without doubt.
Thankyou so much,
Basil Fawlty M.B.E


The lad dosent beleive my passport! can you beleive it?

Quote:

PAUL EMEKA to me
More options 2:59 am (55 minutes ago)




Dear Mr. Basil Fawlty,

I am willing to do business with you, but will not do anything stupid. What you are asking me to do is very strange to me. The identification document I sent to you is more legible to the one received from you. Your passport copy received is not valid hence it was not signed.

I advise you click on the attachment to allow your system download it for a clearer picture. Alternatively, we can arrange for a meet in a neutral ground as way of meeting each other face to face. This option is best in our present circumstance to avoid doubts on both ends.

Iím willing to forge ahead with you on the next step if you consider it necessary for us to partner as men of integrity and honor.

I look forward to your prompt response to this email to enable me contact you for further details.

Best regards,
Paul Emeka Esq


slap time!

Benjamin Dover to PAUL
More options 4:03 am (0 minutes ago)

Dear Paul Emeka,
How dare you question my integrity! You scoundrel, what nonsense is this? Of course Its valid, do you know nothing about American Passports? They are signed on the reverse side, in a black light strip for security, so ofcourse you dont see my signature.
Any genuine buisnessman of Real integrity would know this,
I do beleive you are trying to swindle me, you fraudulant sambo! Shame on you, You will send the photo immediately,
as instructed or I will not deal with you, and Will instruct my board members to dismiss any claims you make via The Hairy Clam Corp!
I am very surprised and dissapointed in your suspicious behaviour!
Mr Basil Fawlty M.B.E



He jumps up & down, trys the hard line!! Cheeky mugu

Quote:
PAUL EMEKA to me
More options 5:24 pm (7 hours ago)

Dear Mr. Basil Fawlty

I am not questioning your integrity neither do I quarreling with you. I only express my observation on the passport copy you sent to me.

I never abused you or calling you names as you demonstrated in your email. It is quit ungentlemanly for you to address me the way you did in your email. I do hope that you will find it worthy to apologize for using those unkind words on me.

I have never in my action demonstrated suspicion towards you; rather my suggestion to meet with you in person prior to this transaction is to resolve any doubts at both ends if identifying ourselves via documents so far exchanged should be a problem.

I am very surprised and disappointed in your attitude. We have not started any relationship, yet you addressed me rudely with threats and abuse. It is quit unfair and does not represent you well.

Please understand that is transaction can still be successfully concluded with or without the support of Hairy Clam Corp! I am willing to do business with you in all sincerity, but not under threats and humiliations.

Regards,
Paul Emeka Esq.


Time for a good backhander!

Benjamin Dover to PAUL
More options 1:28 am (0 minutes ago)

Mr Paul Emeka,
Quite the contrary old chap, I do beleive it is you who should apologise to me! You were rude indeed, let me paraphrase your last message for clarity.

You wrote:

Dear Mr. Basil Fawlty,

I am willing to do business with you, but will not do anything stupid.

You deliberately question my buisness practice when it is you who contacted me for assistance, This is not on at all!

you wrote:

What you are asking me to do is very strange to me. The identification document I sent to you is more legible to the one received from you.


I made quite clear that I suffer from an unfortunate vision
disability, yet you made fun of of me.

you wrote:


Your passport copy received is not valid hence it was not signed.

I advise you click on the attachment to allow your system download it for a clearer picture.


You are calling me stupid for my inability to see your blurry image, hence I asked you for the photograph . I am most offended ansd I simply will not do buisness with a chap so rude! I suggest you apologise to me immediately and provide a new photograph suitable to be veiwed by a vision impaired person such as my good self, as instructed immediately, or you can take your buisness elsewhere old chap.

Mr Basil Fawlty M.B.E

_________________
MY DAUGTHER CONDITION IS GETING MORE WORSEN CAUSE THEY SHE HAS AN ULTIMATUM TIME OF 2 WEEKS.
~mary jude

"you callee me a fool right?"
barr Bruce johnson

" THIS MESSAGE IS REAL PLEASE , this is not just an Internet False message , No & please No ;, it is not . "
~Bianca Alhassas



Last edited by Torn on Wed Aug 02, 2006 3:34 pm; edited 8 times in total
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Fanny Plunge
Granny Pawn


Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 698
Location: Straight Baiting FTW!


PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 4:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Aye m8 this has potential..Just try go easy on the mad stuff early on..I sent you a P.M.. Wink

_________________
Don Felix,"Iwant to know if Im being initiated in a kind of cultic society,Also a wooden spoon could be difficult to get"
vPeter Renta,"I was in the wester onion with my brother but they told us there know money there"
Dr Famoru El-phram,"Look at you Kangaroo Imsucha Donkee.Bastard you pile patient.Nicompoop"
verkwyn,"You are just a bloody foolish Nigerain,It sounds like an email writen by an illitrate"
Humanity Hicham,"wooooow u are very pretty and lovely but u have dick"
Easter Egg 2012 Nigeria United States Spain United Kingdom x2 Ivory Coast Turkey Italy Netherlands Cellphonex280-WebSitesx21
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Torn
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 28 Jul 2006
Posts: 60
Location: Australia


PostPosted: Tue Aug 01, 2006 4:42 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thanks Fanny, I got both, sent you Pm, will send him one! Very Happy

Seems the lad is big on establishing integrity, so I hit him for a trophy!
cant help myself! Laughing

Edit~ looks like our lad didnt buy your passport Fanny plunge! Laughing

No reply from this lad to date. A proud mugu!

_________________
MY DAUGTHER CONDITION IS GETING MORE WORSEN CAUSE THEY SHE HAS AN ULTIMATUM TIME OF 2 WEEKS.
~mary jude

"you callee me a fool right?"
barr Bruce johnson

" THIS MESSAGE IS REAL PLEASE , this is not just an Internet False message , No & please No ;, it is not . "
~Bianca Alhassas

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