Tina & Joe's Safari - 85 Days and Ritual pics

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Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 6:51 am

This is a split from Simbas thread.

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=123898&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=400

A bit of back ground on the ongoing safari.
Joe C@rlton thought he was going to spend 4 wonderful days full of lust with rock star T1na turn3r.
at the wonderful Simba safari resort in Benin. ( a lovely place to vacation to)

Joe's safari did not start with a happy beginning, not having any money, he sold his cell phone to
pay for his trip from Ghana to Benin.
Joe thought that $ 5k was waiting for him at the Simba camp.

Joe's adventure begins when the love if his life Tina gets stranded on the way to pick up Joe.
The shuttle bus breaks down half way down to Parakou. Tina is left alone in the bus while the driver
goes for help. Tina thinks that some men are trying to hurt her and runs into the jungle only to get lost.

Tina was fortunate to have on hand a laptop with a solar panel to charge the laptop and was able
to communicate with Joe while she was lost in the jungle.

Tina's perils where known to Joe while she spent several nights sleeping in trees and a few days in
local villages where she witnessed voodoo rituals.
The local community got involved in searching for Tina ins the jungle.
local radio broadcast where aired.

Tina was bitten by a snake and had to flown to Niger to save her life.

Three other baiters were invited to join the safari.

the characters:

Slaphappy: playing the part of Dr. Dwops

Homer : Dr. Dwops voice on telephone

dr.Stephen: helicopter Italian pilot ( rescue team)

Rumbero: As Tina Turn3r and Angelo

Last time we heard of Joe he was trying to sneak across to Niger from Bening

Here are the last posts from Joe to Angelo

Quote:

Do not give the asshole that money ok.You wait l would becomin to MALANVILLE and from there
l would look for where to board a boat and pass the waterways ok but the problem theres no means of communicatin.
l hope to hear from you.l am still hopin on the helicopter
JOE

Second letter to Angelo from Joe[/]

Quote:

its a journey, l have to finish it,a race that l started l need to end it even if l have to die on the course,
l will know that l done it.l love TINA and l would do all it takes to see her
JOE

[b]The last 5 pages on Simba's thread will give you a good idea of what is going on.

Joe presently is trying to cross to Niger. We are waiting to hear from Joe and decide what the next
step will be to determine Joes next adventure.

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 8:15 am

I just received a letter from Joe

Joe has traveled to Niger jump_4_joy

Another Safari [/color][/size] Laughing

Quote:

ANGELO I MANAGE TO CROSS THE BORDER WITH THE PLAN I HAD WITH MY FRIEND
,HE IS WITH ME TOO.
well lm in the National Hopital de Naimey right now so l would like you to come and pick me up there at the gate with my friend.
I WORE A BLACK LONG SLEEVE SHIRT WITH A BROWN TROUSSER,BROWN SHOE OUTSIDE THE HOPITAL
WITH A BLUE HANDKIERCHEF.plz lm waitin patiently for you to come.l will inform the doctor and my wife too.
l ask about the doctor there in the hospital but no one know him. hope to hear from you.
JOE

Looks like Joe will be in for a big surprise to find out that Tina has been moved to another location.

letter to Joe

Quote:

My dear Friend Joe:

I was trying to send you a message since yesterday. All the cafes were closed for Easter Sunday.
Tina's condition got really bad last night. She was flown to TAHOUA on emergency.
Apparently they have a new vaccine or something to prevent the spreading of gangrene in the blood system.
I am so worried that Tina will not live for long. Dr. Dwops is on route as of this moment.
I have already informed Musa and he will most likely rent a helicopter in Niamey
and fly you and your new friend here.
Joe, You do know that Tina was not registered under her name.
Reporters got a hold of the news and have been investigating.
Dr. Dwops was flown from another country to treat Tina.

I will send another message to Musa. I never thought you were going to be able
to come across the border so soon.
Please write a letter to Musa and tell him to come and pick you up.
I am going back to the hospital. will write you in about 1/2 hour

Looks like another day of getting just a few hours to sleep

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 9:51 am

New message from Joe is response to my reply

Quote:

ok l would be waitin on Mr Musa RIGHT AWAY and l dont know anyone in Naimey and like you know l spent a nite here,
plz inform Musa TO COME AND PICK ME AND MY FRIEND THOUGH I HAVE SENT HIM A MAIL..
THANKS AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU.
I DONT WANT THE NEWS LEAK TOO AS I REFUSE TELLIN NO ONE FOR THEIR SILLY ACT.
TELL MUSA I WORE BLACK LONG SLEEVE SHIRT ,STANDIN OUT SIDE THE HOSPITAL WITH MY FRIEND

Well, he will just have to keep standing until I get some info on the hospita.
Maybe some photos

[b]A reply to Joe[b/]

Quote:

Dear Joe:

I have sent two letter to Musa. I just came to check to see if I had a reply
from Musa. I have not had any sleep since yesterday.
Please keep sending Musa some letters.

I'll try to rest a bit. I am going back to check on Tina.
Waiting for the Doctors opinion about this new medicine.
They told me it has worked on people who have been bitten
by cobra snakes and has worked for other types of snake bites.

Joe try to get some rest, I know you must be tired.

Please tell me how you managed to get across. Give me all the details.
I need to hear about this interesting event.

Your friend

Angelo

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Feb 2007 Posts: 1731

Excellent job.

clapping

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 12:34 pm

Dr. Dwops reporting for duty here. I just got up now. And this is waiting in my email:

Quote:

IM IN National Hopital de Naimey right now...................JOE

well lm in the National Hopital de Naimey right now so l would like you to come and pick me up there at the gate with my friend.I WORE A BLACK LONG SLEEVE SHIRT WITH A BROWN TROUSSER,BROWN SHOE OUTSIDE THE HOPITAL WITH A BLUE HANDKIERCHEF.plz lm waitin patiently for you to come. inform Angelo, and my wife too.hope to hear from you.I NEED YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER TO CALL YOU NOW

Ip shows Niger.84.246.69.19 Whee! But the idiot went to the wrong hospital.
We told him she was in Tapoa, not Naimey. We never mentioned Naimey, did we? Maybe he went to Tapoa, and there was no hospital, so he went to look for her there. Anyway, he is one self-starter of a lad. His friend must have a car or something. Ask him, Angelo, how he got there. "A vaccine for gangrene?" Comeon, rumbero, just where did you get your Medical Licence!
I sure hope he doesn't go ask a real doctor in the National Hospital if that sounds right. hehehe Laughing

I'll write to him, and tell her i did some real medical procedures on her, not rumbero's mumbo jumbo medicine. Laughing

EDIT: He might be testing us, so i think i should re-read our bait and see if we mention Naimey Hospital as to where she was supposed to be. His friend might be smarter than our lad, and certainly is more resorceful.
Any thoughts? Doc and rumbero are not here, but I think i will hold off on the letter from Dr Dwops, until one of them comes back. Confused

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:09 pm

I've thought that Dr. Dwops could be a member of Doctors Without Borders, performing his good deeds for Tina in return for a large cash donation to the organization.

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:22 pm

A great job gentlemen, please save all the emails for your new book(and movie) "Traveling 419" Very Happy

And if you don't write the book please email it all to me, this is too good to be true, lost in ladland, but with a confidence that can be shuttered, this "friend" is incredible and he isn't home yet Wink

I have been following this quest, step by step and he is not going to give up. Is this true love or pure greed?
Just keep him going and thanks for posting it here.

bow_down

Edit: All you want to know about that hospital, but in French! Your lad now has a language barrier to deal with too Smile

http://www.hopitalnn-niger.com/actu.php

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:27 pm

I did tell the dumb lad that I was an international visiting doctor. I never told him that Tina or myself were at this hospital. He either actually drove there by mistake,or found our there was no hospital in Tapoa by going there or by talking to people in niger Maybe he's not in Naimey at all, but just across the border somewhere. But I think he really is in Naimey, by his own skills as a safari lad. Smile

EDIT: I did tell the lad in my initial email that i was in Naimey. i flew down to Tapoa to treat Tina. She has been in Tapoa clinic, and couldn't be moved to a better hospital until she improved. Well, now i guess she was moved all right, to Tahoua...that's an all day trip in a 4WD, i think. or something with good suspension system anyway. Smile

Edit again: I left this autoresponse in my email for now, until i compose the email to joe.

Quote:

In the treatment/surgical room in Tahoua, Niger.
Please be patient. I'm in the treatment room, and may not be able to respond right away. I will get back to you just as soon as I am able.

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:02 pm

Quote:

.I WORE A BLACK LONG SLEEVE SHIRT WITH A BROWN TROUSSER,BROWN SHOE OUTSIDE THE HOPITAL WITH A BLUE HANDKIERCHEF

This sounds suspiciously unlike women's clothing, so I'd like to know how he got into Niger as well.

You guys are amazing.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:23 pm

A map of where the lad is now. Naimey, is on the left side of the map, and we want him to go to Tahoua, after missing the helicopter ride, somehow. Doc is setting that up. i don't know if his johnson rod came into fix the helicoper. The distance is about 210 miles as the crow flies, but the roads are windy, two or one lane jobbies, probably mostly dirt, through farm and cattle country, somewhat like the Midwest US, i think. I'm not sure of the weather there right now. I'll have to check, it's probably hot, hot, hot. Very Happy

EDIT: I checked the weather reoprt. Not very pleasant. Sunny, too. They will need their sunscreen.
Weather forcast Naimey, Niger

107� F | 78� F Monday
42� C | 26� C

Scattered Clouds Tuesday
105� F | 75� F
41� C | 24� C

Clear Wednesday
105� F | 77� F
41� C | 25� C

Clear Thursday
105� F | 71� F
41� C | 22� C

Clear Friday
113� F | 73� F
45� C | 23� C
============
Tahoua, Niger

Monday
Clear
104� F | 78� F
40� C | 26� C

Clear Tuesday
105� F | 77� F
41� C | 25� C

Clear Wednesday
105� F | 77� F
41� C | 25� C

Clear Thursday
109� F | 71� F
43� C | 22� C

Clear Friday
105� F | 71� F
41� C | 22� C

It's HOT alright, but it's a dry heat, with 4% humidity levels. I hope they bring lots of water with them on this trip!
Edit again so i don't repost: It's a six hour drive from Naimey to Tahoua.
The main hospital has 280 beds, and serves 2,000,000 people.

Laughing

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:51 pm

Well, Joe looks like he is pretty miserable...

Quote:

Mr Ralph Musa thanks for your kindness,well lm in the National Hopital de Naimey right now so l would like you to come and pick me up there at the gate with my friend.I WORE A BLACK LONG SLEEVE SHIRT WITH A BROWN TROUSSER,BROWN SHOE OUTSIDE THE HOPITAL WITH A BLUE HANDKIERCHEF.plz lm waitin patiently for you to come.l will inform Angelo,the doctor and my wife too.hope to hear from you.I NEED YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER

Joe

and

Quote:

M WATIN OUTSIDE THE HOPITAL RIGHT NOW FOR YOU.I WOULD BE GLAD TO SEE YOU.PLZ GIVE ME UR NUMBER SO THAT I CALL YOU IMMEDIATELY
THANKS ALOT
JOE

and further

Quote:

MR MUSA PLZ CALL ME WITH THIS NUMBER WHEN YOU ENTER NAIMEY
9XXXXX.STILL IN THE HOSPITAL OUTSIDE WIT MY FRIEND WAITIN ON YOU.I WORE A BLACK LONG SLEEVE SHIRT,blue handkechief WITH BROWN SHOE AND A BROWN CORDROY,my friend wore a brown short sleeve with a blue jean and a white pam slippers
JOE

I think my helicopter has problems. ANyone know a landmark we can send him to in Niamey? Some statue with pigeon shit on it in the middle of a treeless park? If we can figure that, I is a gonna comme inna Niamey and a meet this guy go help himma find his woman, this Tina Turner pretty lady witha funny tattoos on her face...

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 2:55 pm

Doc, you know the girl was moved to Tahoua already, right?
We want him to go to Tahoua. I'm not sure what you want to do with this, make him meet you, then, tell him your radiator popped a leak in the heat?
He'll have to get to Tahoua on his own? maybe?

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:04 pm

How about:

Quote:

Hey Joe,

I is here in Tahoua, visit with Tina Turner. She is a so pretty this woman. They say she is gonna be okay, but I don't know, she no look so okay iffa you ask me.

I wassa gonna go meet you but, I get my helicopter repaires, and now I gotta next problem. Santo Domingo, I iss a mad. This johnson rod, it is a metric johnson rod? DO I need a metric johnson rod? No, I needa standard. I adapt it work, but then, when I land, the propeller he start to wobbles. Now, I is a stuck here at clinic with a this woman and the doctor, waiting for a better johnson rod. Issa nice place though.

So, what you need to do is a get going come visit Tina. She is a a sking about you. I think she think you no love her as yopu still no go visit her inna clinic. What is wrong with you, son? You no like pretty woman with a tattoo on face? She really love you, though... I could tell. She eyes sparkle like diamonds when she hears your name, she lights up like a siete once in la noche.

I is gotto go look for next johnson rod. I wish I had one, come pick you up right now. Shit.

Okay.

Ciao, buena onda,

Ralph

This is prepped and ready to ship. All I need is a Thumbs up

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:16 pm

His new friend might be there to protect the investments they made in him (he is broke) so splitting them up would be the nice thing to do Twisted Evil

Tina now has all that cash and could have an envelope ready at the desk in the first hospital for him so he has to detour a bit to get to some money?
If that doesn't get him arrested, then he can follow his quest for Tahoua ?
My $0.02, extract Tina for medical reasons from Africa and let him travel home, so you can do it again (and again and again .....)
In that way you can show him all of Africa and take his education in your own hands and Tina gets a chance to recover a bit, she is not one of the youngest you know Very Happy

Great game guys bow_down

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:18 pm

I like it, Doc. rumbero just came on to the site . let him look at it. Cool

Doc, chatting with rumbero now. he just got up. wait a bit. ok?

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:30 pm

Great!

Am on standby..... with finger poised over button...

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:32 pm

Here's someone's blog post about a Niamey to Tahoua road trip. Pretty rugged country.

http://confluence.org/confluence.php?id=7577

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:34 pm

@SlappHappy: I thought I did real good playing doctor at 3:00 am.
I should have put to work some Santeria remedies.

OK, two new messages from Joe:

Quote:

Angelo it wasnt easy crossin the border but like you know Africa is where l am from and thinks gats to go with brain.
l believe by now my Tina would fine cos as long as l cross the border, l prayed haed for Tina
that my comin to see is for her to be healed.
well l have mailed Musa
and still hopin to hear from and l will still mail him like you said l should.when we meet face to face Angelo

l will give you all the story about the way l cross the border.IT WASNT EASY BUT I DID THAT FOR TINA,
her name move me so much with lots and lots of strength in it.
Angelo have you eaten,ought to eat and rest for a while ok. ( how thoughtful)
l will mail you back in 2hrs time ok.hope to hear from you
JOE

Second message

Quote:

CALL ME WITH THIS NUMBER IF UR CHANCE OK.I STRUGGLE TO GET IT .........94733668.HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU
JOE

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:37 pm

Rumbero, should I send the above email to joe now?

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 3:57 pm

@ dr. Stephen: my eyes are just know beginning to focus. I'll read your proposed mail.

Joe has replied to our new ghost character ( the antique relic appraiser)

Quote:

THANKS FOR THE MAIL BUT I WILL I HAVE TO BE THERE BEFORE ANYTHING IS DONE CONCERNING THE IVOR FIGURINES OK.
I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY AT THE MOMENT OK.THANKS ALOT FOR THE MAIL AND CURRENTLY
IM IN NATIONAL HOPITAL DE NAIMEY .HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU
JOE

Hot of the oven, new message

Quote:

WE VE GOT NOTHING LEFT WITH US AND WE HAVE BEEN SLEEPIN OUTSIDE WITH LOTS OF MOSQUITOES,
I WISH U COULD SEND HIM MORE MAILS TELLIN HIM THE SUN IS HOT, REALLY HOT,

THE MONEY IS ABOUT TO FINISH AND NOWHERE TO GO. Where is Joe getting the money from ?
I WILL STILL SEND HIM SOME MAILS
COS I GAVE HIM A NUMBER TO CALL WHENEVER HE IS NIAMEY.THIS IS THE NUMBER 94733668.
I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU AND TELL TINA THAT IM AROUND,I KNOW IF SHE KNOWS IM IN TOWN SHE WOULD BE FINE.

Joe is getting real desperate, from what I read about Niger it can get very hot

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:04 pm

@ Dr. Stephen:

You need to change your letter. It looks suspicious. How did you manage to get to Tahoua.
Joe is dumb but not retarded Wink

Write him a letter that the part for the helicopted will come in tomorrow morning.
this way it will give us a chance to prepare a plan to get Joe to safari one more time Laughing

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:12 pm

In the letter, I said I fixed it, but the rod is the wrong one. I will just say that the part was wrong, and I am waiting.

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:14 pm

Okay, this in from your silly lad:

silly lad wrote:

9XXXXXX.CALL THE NUMBER AND I WILL DIRECT YOU TO WHERE I AM.I AM OUTSIDE THE NATIONAL HOPITAL DE NIAMEY,BEEN THERE SINCE LASTNITE.I HOPE U COME ON TIME COS THE WETHER IS TOO HOT,NO WHERE TO SLEEP,HOT SUN,LOTS OF MOSQUITOES,its not easy here,plz show up ok.lm worried.thanks and hope to hear from you
JOE

Sounds like silly lad is having a hard time....

Am reworking the repair problem, will send it when fixed!

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:17 pm

Great Dr. Stephen. sent new letter Laughing

I will write a letter to Joe after you send yours.

@ Homer: We will be needing your phone services in the very near future.

Lets try to think of a way to safari Joe to Tahoua

Posted: Mon Mar 24, 2008 4:24 pm

Okay, this is my new letter:

Ralphy the Italian Helicopter Pilot wrote:

Hey Joe,

I wassa gonna go meet you but, I get my helicopter repaires, and now I gotta next problem. Santo Domingo, Santa Maria and St Snerd, I is mad. This johnson rod, is a metric johnson rod. DO I need a metric johnson rod? No, I needa standard. And I can't understand the French these people talk. I adapt it work, but then, when I land, the propeller he start to wobbles. Start all over. Shit.

No worry, my friend. I will have the right part either tonight or tomorrow, and then I issa ready to go.

I is gotto go look for next johnson rod. I wish I had one, come pick you up right now. Shit.

Maybe you shoulda go straight to the clinic in Tahoua one time, and I could a meet you there. I think is not that far.

Okay. I write back more later, okay?

Ciao, buena onda,

Ralph

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