Crusade to a fetish village (Dec 13th trying 4 my safari)

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Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Another reply from the lad begging for �200:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER,

I KNOW THAT YOUR CHURCH WILL GET ME THE GRANT LATER,ALL I AM BEGGING IS IF YOU CAN HELP US WITH ABOUT 200 POUNDS FROM YOUR PERSONAL MONEY AND WHEN WE GET THE GRANT WE PAY YOU BACK. MOST OF THE INJURED ARE POOR AND LESS PRIVILEGED,PLEASE CONSIDER THIS WITH THE SPIRIT OF GOD.

SINCE YOU ARE A MAN OF GOD,I SUGGEST YOU ASK GOD IN YOUR OWN WAY IF I AM GENUINE OR NOT,IF GOD ANSWERS YOU AND SAY THAT I AM NOT,THEN DON'T GIVE US EVEN THE GRANT.

WE ARE IN A FIX,PLEASE HELP.YOU NEED TO SEE THEIR FACES.

REGARDS

BROTHER DONALD

I sent a short reply:

Quote:

Dear Brother Donald Pxxxx,

Thank you for your email, there is not much I can do to help you with my personal money, all I receive from my church in return for my work, is my rent free home in the vicarage, and I get all of my meals paid for whilst I work for the church, I do not get any wages because I took a vow of poverty when I joined the church many years ago, the only people in our church who earn wages are our overseas church workers.

I am afraid there is nothing I can send you until you have performed the cleansing ceremony in order to get your �2000 grant, and as stated earlier, I will then be able to make arrangements to send additional financial aid for the wounded and dead there, please let me know when you have carried out the full cleansing ceremony and attach the photos.

Blessings,

Father O'H

This bait might not last much longer, if he tells me to forget it, then I will just have to have him fill some forms in in order to get a small donation for now.

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Well the lad accepted what I told him about not having any wages due to my vow of poverty, and says he will do the ceremony Laughing

:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER O'H,

IF THAT BE THE CASE,WE MUST CARRY OUT THE CLEANSING EXCERCISE BUT I HOPE IF PROPERLY CARRIED OUT,NO OTHER THING WILL STOP THE GRANT.YOU KNOW THAT WE ARE LN A FIX RIGHT NOW AND SOME OF MY GROUP MEMBERS ARE AFRAID TO CARRY ON,BUT I DO NOT GIVE UP,I MUST RE-ENCOURAGE THE FIT ONES.

BEST REGARDS

BROTHER DONALD

I replied:

Quote:

Dear Brother Donald Pxxxx,

Thank you for your email, I can assure you that once the cleansing ceremony is fully completed, you will be well on your way to receiving your grant as quickly as possible!

Please remember to take photos of "every" stage of the ceremony so that I can submit those photos to my Bishop to show him it has been fully completed, and also to make sure it has been carried out correctly. Sorry this is just a short email, I am very busy in the church today as I have a marriage ceremony to perform shortly, but I stepped out for a moment to reply to you.

Blessings,

Father O'H

Posted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 12:15 pm

Please let Brother Donald know we are all praying for him.

signed
Brother Marvin
Order of the Red Tailed Devil Worshippers Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

^^^^^ I am sure he knows we are all praying for him Laughing

Short email from the lad:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER O'H,

PLEASE I TRAVELLED TO UP NORTH TO RAISE SOME MONEY FOR THOSE PATIENTS,I WILL GET BACK TO YOU NEXT WEEK ASSOON AS WE COMPLETE THE CLEANSING PROCESS.

REGARDS

BROTHER DONALD

So fingers crossed, next week we should have photos of each stage of the cleansing ceremony with the candles, bread, fish, honey, goats milk and petrol Laughing

Unless dumbass decided to ask again for some money to help out with cameras and stuff Rolling Eyes

[edit]

Sent him a short reply:

Quote:

Dear Brother Donald Pxxxx,

Thank you for your email, how wonderful to hear from you again, I trust you had a pleasent journey up north.

I hope the injured patients are bearing up well after the trouble they had, the prayers of everyone in my church is with them, I conducted a mass for them and for the dearly departed sister, may she rest in peace!

I look forward to receiving the photos of the next week, and then it should be plain sailing to get your grant, and also the additional money to take care of the injured and the funeral fees for the departed sister, may the Lord have mercy on her soul!

Blessings,

Father O'H

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I have not heard from this lad since June 24th when he said he was travelling up north and would get back to me in a weeks time, so I mailed him last night for an update:

Quote:

Dear Brother Donald Pxxxx,

How are you keeping, well I hope?

I have not heard from you since June 24th when you said you were going up north, and that you would be getting back to me within a week after
finishing the , but I have not heard anything from you since, do you have an update on what is happening with the

Blessings,

Father O'H

He has replied this morning, he always seems to get himself in to trouble doesn't he Rolling Eyes

:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER,

PLEASE BEAR WITH ME FOR A WHILE,AS I CAME BACK FROM THE NORTH,I MET ANOTHER PROBLEM AS THE ELDER BROTHER TO THE SISTER THAT DIED GOT ME ARRESTED FOR HER DEATH,HE IS NOT A BORN AGAIN AND WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND BUT I KNOW GOD WILL SEE ME THROUGH.MY CHURCH BAILED ME YESTERDAY BUT WITH THE AGREEMENT THAT I WILL BE AVAILABLE TO THE POLICE WHENEVER
NECESSARY.THOUGH HER FAMILY IS DEMANDING FOR COMPENSATION OF ABOUT 3,000 POUNDS,THE POLICE IS TRYING TO BROKER PEACE AND ASKING US TO COME UP WITH 1,500 POUNDS TO END THE MATTER.

THIS IS THE SITUATION FOR NOW.

I WISH YOU CAN TELL THEBISHOP ABOUT THIS,MOREOVER WE WILL DO THE CLEANSING SOONEST.

ALL MY CHRISTIAN LOVE

BROTHER DONALD

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

I have replied with:

Quote:

Dear Brother Donald Pxxxx,

Thank you for your email, I am shocked to hear you have yet again ran in to trouble over the death of your fellow village woman, I really wish there was some way I could help you at the time, but as you know, my church has strict rules about making payments too people who have not carried out the required prior to payments being made.

Whilst we cannot make a payment to you at this stage, I will remind you that my church is ready to accept part liability for the death of the woman, so upon us receiving the photos of you completing each stage of the , I am at liberty to make special payments to you to cover the cost of her funeral, and also, to make a compensation payments to her family in the sum of �3000 that you mentioned, I have talked to my Bishop about that and he is in full agreement that we can pay the whole �3000 too the victims family!

It is of utmost importance that you complete the ceremony as soon as possible, so as to speed up the payments we shall make to you and the victims family.

One other thing, could you please supply us with a scanned copy of the dead womans death certificate for our church records.

Blessings,

Father O'H

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Lad replies with a short email:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER,
THANKS FOR YOUR CONCERNS,I WILL MAKE AVAILABLE THE SCANNED DEATH CERTIFICATE OF THE WOMAN AS SOON AS WE SETTLE WITH HER FAMILY.I DO NOT THINK THEY WILL LISTEN TO ME AT THIS POINT BUT MAY BE LATTER.
BEST REGARDS
BRO DONALD

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

The lad has just got back to me with some good news about the Very Happy

:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER,

WE JUST CONCLUDED THE AND HAVE SENT THE PICTURES FOR DEVELOPMENT IN THE STUDIO,I PRAY THAT BY TOMMORROW YOU WILL GET THE SCANNED.

YOUR BROTHER IN CHRIST

BRO DONALD

I replied asking how many photos he took:

Quote:

Dear Brother Donald Pxxxx,

Thank you for your email, I trust that you took photos of every stage of the ceremony, how many photos are there in total? I look forward to receiving the scanned images tomorrow to make sure it has all been done correctly!

Blessings,

Father O'H

If he has done it correctly, there should be a photo of each stage, should be about 12 photos in total I hope Laughing

This is what he is supposed to do, but you know what lads are like for following instructions Rolling Eyes

, so I don't know what to expect:

Quote:

Posted: Mon Jul 10, 2006 9:45 am

this lad doesnt half drag his feet, doesnt he? good to see youre still pals. Smile

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 1:29 am

am I missing an obvious joke here?

That "god" looks strangely like an explorer?

Please fill me in if I am just being plain stupid here...

damn I'm such a n00b... sometimes I wake up in the morning and just hate myself Crying or Very sad

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:57 am

holy crap dude Shocked

you have created the most redculous ceremony that could possibly be imagined by a human brain. I was laughing my ass off while reading those instructions. I will be amazed if they actually did it.

what do you have in store for them if they actually send you the photos?

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 7:44 am

LOL cant wait to see the pictures....

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Jul 2004 Posts: 11857 Location: UK

Just received this email and 7 images from the lad, it looks like he will be getting a slap for shoddy work, totally unacceptable photos, nice seing them all with bread on their heads, but I expected to see them all with fish in their mouth, not just one of them and all standing on the loaves etc etc, these will do for now, will try to get him to do them again:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER,

THESE ARE THE PICTURES REPRENTING EVERY STAGE. AS YOU CAN SEE,THE SOIL IS DAMP AND AS A RESULT,THE STAR PAINTING IS A LITTLE FAINTY,BUT ALL OTHER PROTOCOLS WERE OBSERVED. (like f*ck the protocols were observed, fooooool Evil or Very Mad

)

LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU.

BROTHER DONALD

The photos he sent of the Laughing

:

I like the guy pointing in this photo, his face looks like he is saying, why the f*ck are we buring the food Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 12:53 pm

stage 8- BEST. PHOTO. EVER.

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 1:55 pm

What a bunch of fools. Fantastic work! Top marks!

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 2:06 pm

Brilliant photos!! Laughing

A video of the whole ceremoney would be priceless!

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Bwaaaaaaaahhaahahahahaaaaaaa!!! Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 3:06 pm

Hi..it just never ceases to amaze me how blatently stupid these lads are...and how blatently stupid they think their maga's are...Like I mean what are they smoking???? Laughing

Master Baiter Joined: 06 Nov 2005 Posts: 233 Location: USA

GAWD SP--abso@#$%#@tutely BRILLIANT!!!!! I love the pic with the loaves on their head--classic!!! Laughing

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 3:30 pm

They all don't look wet to me and they do NOT look like they've had honey rubbed on them.

Also - the flier that they have about this has a FEMALE preacher - ummmmm don't you think your bishop may have a problem with that? You may have JUST received an email from the bishop asking you if you noticed there's a woman on that flier - and have them redo it......

BRILLIANT work - I've laughed so hard reading this!

Not quite a Newb Joined: 05 Apr 2006 Posts: 51

great pics! I especially enjoy the bread/candle one. But I only count twelve lads, including the designated pourer in the plaid. Will the church stand for such unorthodoxy??? Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 4:20 pm

Another good set of pics SP, well done once again.

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:31 pm

ROFL, that was hilarious. The one with all these people with bread on their heads was absolutely brilliant!

Now..... slap 'em HARD! Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:43 pm

I love the look on the lad's (in blue Nike vest) face in stage 7...It's a cross between constipation and fear!

Your lad is going to look like a proper chump when the money fails to materialise. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 5:55 pm

What can I say that hasn't already been said - absolutely brilliant!

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