Like a Rolling Stone

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 30 Mar 2005 Posts: 2

Well ok... I'm in...

Nanker Phelge: an old pen name used by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards on early Stones albums.

Our Mugu: Kato Thomson

I will spare you the original email, as they are all pretty much the same anyways...

I decided to respond with a theme:
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Good Morning Mr. Thomson,

I have to say your letter really did start me up!

If I did not respond, I would truly have a heart of stone. I know that
you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just
might find, you get what you need!

Perhaps I can come to your emotional rescue!

An Honest Man,

Nanker Phelge, Esq.
London, UK
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To which he replies:

Dearest Uncle Nanker Phelge,

In the first place i am wishing you and your family the best of this Easter seasons.

Also thanking you for your response to my mail and your sincere concerns and feelings towards my present difficult sitiuation. Truely i am very happy and will be very grateful for you to help me out from my present difficulties.

I have been finding life very difficult since the death of my father and little sister, Nene. My father divorced my mother since i was only four years old and have since married to another man and she is not so important in the current issues now as i do not know her so well as to trust and confide in her for any help about this matter. And my wicked uncles back home are not helping matters as they wanted to even kill me so that they can take over all my father's wealth.

Uncle i want you to know that by contacting you, i am putting this money and my future into your hand trusting that you will not betray or harm me in any way. I want you to do everything possible to see that this money be safely transferre over to you and put into a very good management and also help in my relocation to your country for the continuation of my education and good investments until i will become man enough to face whoever will stand on my way when i will return home.

Like i told you before in my first email, i want to introduce you to the bank here as my gaurdian as they requested me to do so that this money be transfered into your bank account. I will want you to send me all the important information the bank might need for your introduction to them and to enable them to recognise you and carry out the transfer.

I will also appreciete if you could send me your id. or photo as it will be important i know you in person.

I will wait for your response soon.

Your son,

Thomson.

(notice that he is now FAMILY!)
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My reply:

Dearest Mr. Thompson,

It certainly feels like I'm 2000 light years from home this week, but
I can almost hear you sigh from my black limousine!

I'll be around and around my office in the UK by my daughter Ruby's
birthday next tuesday.

Would you be so kind as to send a photo of yourself?

Nanker

(I know, too soon to ask for a photo... but I'm new to this....)

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Dear Uncle Nanker Phelge,

Thanks for your mail.
I am very happy to hear from you Uncle. I do not know how tight your program is but i will so much appreciate if you could give this my case the attention it deserves because i am feeling very lonely and staying idle here. I want to start to be productive in life within the shortest possible time.

I do not have my current pictures with me but i think the one in my identity card will be ok for now. I attached here he copies of my id for you to see.

Uncle, there is something i want to ask you and i don't know how you are going to feel about it. I know how difficult things may be now but Uncle i do not have any other choice. Since i have decided to trust you about my future, i have also taken you as my God father and feel that i am free to tell you about all my problems. The truth Uncle is that i do not have more money on me now and i do not know if it will be possible for you to send me some money for my accomodation and my daily needs here until everything is settled. It will be important i stay alive and healthy to move on in life. Uncle please do not be annoyed or think otherwise about this as i am bound to tell you all the true situations. I am promising that you will never regret anything you do for me.

Please if it will be possible where you are now send me a telephone number where i can reach you as i will be happy to talk with you.

I will wait to hear from you soon.

Your son,

Thomson.

(cheeky fellow.... asks for money right away!! But he did attach a badly forged identity card)

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The Glimmer Twins respond:

Dearest Kato,

The hand of fate has surely been working today.

Little by little I have lost my hearing from years of standing in the
shadows, so telephone would be as useful as a fingerprint file at this
point! But time is on my side as the power of email makes us
neighbors!

Your Nanker

(to be continued.... all advice accepted)