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 Woodentop Woodrow and Her Royal Highness

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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 10:08 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Sir

Very well. I will rearrange operational matters at this end accordingly. I know it will be somewhat disappointing to the lads, who are understandably keen to get such a pervasive consignment off and away as soon as possible.

Sir, what is the destination address for the dung? You never mentioned delivery arrangements. Will there be trucks at the other end for loading?

Incidentally it occurs to me that perhaps your colleagues may wish to take a tour of our barracks during their stay. Would that be of interest? There are quite a few aspects of historical interest, such as the authentically preserved Wellington latrine installation, and Sgt Major OíRorke Drift, I am sure, would make an excellent and enthusiastic guide during their visit. He is quite an amateur military historian in his way, although let us hope in his enthusiasm for the subject he does not give you the fatigues. We could even arrange a game of snooker, shuttlecock or something with the officers later, as well as perhaps a bite to eat with the men as they settle down with their billy cans. Perhaps your colleagues could be persuaded to do a short talk to the regiment on your environmental projects? We have an adequate projector and a podium in the Mess hall, if the map of Iraq is folded away? I am sure this would be most educational, and it would soon be obvious how serious you are, giving us quite an incentive to act further.

Your sincerely


Brudenell (Commanding)




Colonel James Thomas Brudenell DSM
7th Earl of Cardigan
Commander of Light Horse Brigade
Tennyson Barracks
600 Rode Inn Valley
Smegaroon, UK
UR1 GIT

Tel 44 20 7414 3291





>From: "Brant Woodrow." <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: James Thomas Brudenell <[email protected]>
>Subject: Colonel James Thomas Brudenell DSM
>Date: Thu, 30 Mar 2006 12:16:33 +0100 (BST)
> Hello,Goodmorning.
> Thanks for the email
> You should send the dung through shipping.
> Send the shipping documents to me.
> My collueges will be in the U.K after the easter holidays.
> Best wishes
> Brant Woodrow
> WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 11:35 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Helloooo Mr Woodrows

TRAVELS IS TO UK FOR DOING DONE NOW BY ROYALS PEOPLES

I am ILICHY travels partners for HRH royal peoples. Am this fellow be asked to get sortage TWO TICCETS for onwards UK travels is visa by Sir Marmite and Mr Tossovs yes?

Please can sends all detailings of:

peoples to make comes;
flobs in need time
times of offs is airports name here
placeage
stays of length?
smokes?
visa is got now am hopes if say do much to be helps

Urge quick tells as need make sortage of this now.

Am keen to make onwards time arrange and can help queries in hope time


Kindleys regards


ILICHY


Ilichy Miracsky
Prezcedet Travelex
MIRACSKY TRAVEL WORLD
Dracziuik
czNa 345;
kop 283;
10, Prague 1, Novea 283;
SLOVAKIA

Tel-fax.: 02 / 2421 0519
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 4:09 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sir

I have made enquiry in the regimental souvenir shop. Unfortunately we donít really stock information booklets of that sort here; most of our limited stock relates just to the traditions and history of the Light Brigade, or DVDs of our water polo team. However Major Henry Quelch of the Army Publications Unit over at Fort Laramie has a range of titles which ought to be of use and I am sure he will be happy to send something along with our own dung. I will take the liberty of copying him into this note and I am sure he will be able to recommend some introductory reading for you. Unfortunately I believe he only offers authoritative titles in English and trust that you and yours are up to the task.

I have made a note of your address and have passed it to the lads labeling up the sacks. May I ask for the return of the sacks when they are finished with? They are needed in Iraq.

Sir I will delighted to send on some more pictures, and will have the Sgt Mgr a look in the regimental files and see what can be provided as suitable. I am sure that I will some family shots which you will enjoy seeing.

Let me know the names of your friends and I will ensure that passes are made available at the barracks checkpoint or they can be couriered. Please ensure that you advise them emphatically to have these documents in valid condition before entering the parade ground, barracks & etc else they may be impounded and interrogated as suspicious aliens, what with their likely appearance when they arrive and we would not want that. Last year a similar party from the Gambia was somewhat brusquely incarcerated in the guard house for 30 minutes before we discovered they had only come to view our trophy room.

It is very kind of you to enquire about my weekend, sir. After the busy few days at the war games last week I may spend some time with my service colleague Lt Bromhead VC, clay pigeon shooting out in Hyde Park. Either that or I shall spend time in the mess, relaxing with the other commissioned officers over some of our vintage port.

Sir I am familiar with the directive you mention but cannot in all conscience comment on it as I have not studied this paperwork. My interests to be honest fall more into the category of horse riding, military strategy, the daily requirements of light horsemen and their mounts, and of course our mess snooker league.

I remain sir,

Brudenell (Commanding)




Colonel James Thomas Brudenell DSM
7th Earl of Cardigan
Commander of Light Horse Brigade
Tennyson Barracks
600 Rode Inn Valley
Smegaroon, UK
UR1 GIT

Tel 44 20 7414 3291





>From: "Brant Woodrow" <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Colonel James Thomas Brudenell DSM
>Date: Fri, 31 Mar 2006 10:25:03 +0000

>
>Hello Goodmorning.
>
>How are you doing?I am very happy to receive the email.
>
>I want you to send us any brochure or history book concerning U.K ROYAL ARMED FORCES.send them along with the shipping documents to me.
>
>The Shipping address is Woodrow Conservation Initiative
>
>Receiver Manager.Mr Joel Ano
>
>10 EDINBURGH ROAD ENUGU
>
>ENUGU STATE NIGERIA.
>
>We'll make arrangement to get trucks to convey it from the ports to the area it will be put to use.
>
>Colonel,Kindly send me more of your picturs on Official duty and family /private pics.
>
>My collueges will be delighed to tour Military facilities in U.K.
>
>I'll give you more information concerning it as time goes on.
>
>How are going to spend the weekend?
>
>What do you think about the directive given by U.N Security Council to Iran on issue of Nuclear Enrichment?
>
>Regards
>
>Brant Woodrow
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Fri Mar 31, 2006 6:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

WOODRUNT_I AM RELIEVED TO HEAR IT SIR AND LOOK FORWARD TO RECEIVING SAME WITHOUT MUCH MORE ADO_THE SOONER THIS PAIR ARE DEALT WITH THE SOONER THIS WHOLE MATTER CAN BE CONCLUDED TO THE SATISFACTION OF THIS OFFICE AND THAT OF HRH I CAN ASSURE YOU_KINDLY ENSURE THE PASSPORTS ARE ABSOLUTELY OF GOOD QUALITY AS IT WILL BE HARD TO VOUCH FOR THE ACCEPTANCE OF CHEAP ITEMS OF NATIVE MANUFACTURE


T

Lonslo Tossov
Charitable Officer
The Court of St James
Broadmoor
London FU2 GIT
020 7278 6694
07951 593 525





>From: "Brant Woodrow" <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Lonslo Tossov
>Date: Fri, 31 Mar 2006 09:39:45 +0000
>Hello,Goodmorning.
>
>The International passport of Mr Chukwuemeka Igwebuike will be scanned and sent tomorrow.
>
>The second one will be sent later.
>
>We are not joking or playing.All of us are busy over here.
>
>We intend to get things in order.Expect the international passport tomorrow
>
>Regards
>
>Brant Woodrow
>
>WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
>
>
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 12:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Sir,

I have received your orders as far as the consignment is concerned and will see that they are carried out. I also now attach some more pictures as you requested. I hope you find them of interest. Please ensure that they are not reproduced elsewhere, shown to tribe and whatever, as in some cases the copywrite is with the War Department here, and I am not able to clear the rights for wider distribution, if only for security reasons.

The pictures variously show myself out of uniform relaxing in the officer's Mess, at my desk, with another taken a while ago with my late mother while on leave in Algeria [Graham Chapman & Terry Jones in drag making Life of Brian], there is also one of the men of the regiment on horseback recently whilst out on patrol in Smegaroon, and a last one showing our parade ground. If you can imagine your consignment heaped to the left of this viewpoint it will give you some idea of the visual impairment the dung sack heap currently brings to this historic zone.

Sir I will instruct Major Quelch to make up a list of suggested titles from which you may wish to make a selection. What is the reading standard you required? Do you have special needs?

I have noted the names of Miss Uche Chiamaka Igwebuike and Mr. Chukwuemeka Igwebuike and given them to the Pass Officer Marion Morrison. Once I have their identities authenticated I or he will be pleased to send on the passes. Should it be to a separate address than the one we have already. Also can you make it clear to Miss Uche that she is on no account to flirt or distract with those of my men on guard duties & etc. Without wishing being too blunt, sir, I must say that I have had experience of native girls while on active service in your part of the world, and they can make their favours all too apparent with men of the regiment, hoping you grant me permission to make this observation sir.

I remain,


Brudenell (Commanding)




Colonel James Thomas Brudenell DSM
7th Earl of Cardigan
Commander of Light Horse Brigade
Tennyson Barracks
600 Rode Inn Valley
Smegaroon, UK
UR1 GIT

Tel 44 20 7414 3291





>From: "Brant Woodrow." <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: James Thomas Brudenell <[email protected]>
>Subject: Colonel James Thomas Brudenell DSM
>Date: Fri, 31 Mar 2006 22:43:29 +0100 (BST)
> Hello Goodevening.
> How are you doing?
> You're really a nice military man.
> You are indeed a military man with a civilian touch.
>Tell Major Henry Quelch to send any military publication of interest.
> Send it through postal and along with the Invation to the military Light Brigade Post.
> The name of my visiting collueges are Miss Uche Chiamaka Igwebuike and Mr. Chukwuemeka Igwebuike.You is to issue the passes.send it through Courier.
> They will really enjoy the outing with the Military.
> They will also educate the Men on Conservation.
> I'll be expecting the pictures from you.
> GoodNight
> Have a pleasant weekend
> Best Wishes
> Brant Woodrow
> WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
>
>
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 1:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Dear Brant

I have just popped back into the royal apartments to change into something for tonights ball in honour of Sir Bruce Forsythe, the new ambassador to Mozambique, and wanted to reply while my ladies-in-waiting were still off ironing the lace filigrees on my gown. These fancy silk and lace affairs are so bothersome and one must wait long minutes before they are prepared and the right jewellery is brought down.

I must say that I am alarmed that you haven't yet had your money. Mr Kucker has our complete authority and utter confidence in these matters. To be honest I don't have much direct contact with the money side of things (finance and all that sort of what not is so terribly vulgar, don't you think?) but I would imagine that any delay is caused by some sort of imbroglio created at your end. Is everything running as smoothly as it might? You may want to pop off my dear chap and double check that all the i's are dotted and t's are crossed in this matter. I know for a fact that Mr Tossov is somewhat concerned by your slowness (a view he expressed in somewhat forthright terms terms when I bumped into him in chapel this morning, and it quite spoilt the Ave Maria for me, I must say) and also Mr Miracsky is doing his best to get some flight tickets off to you, but still has not heard back from you with the expected information to speed things right along. Is that right?

Any how, if there if there is anything more I can do, please do not hesitate to ask, I am eager to see you well and truly sorted.

I hope the oil thingy goes well.

best wishes


MARGARET



Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
Room 101
The Royal Les Dawson Suite
Kensington Doss House,
Buckingham
London
FU2 GlT
44 870 751 5170





>From: "Brant Woodrow" <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
>Date: Fri, 31 Mar 2006 10:14:03 +0000
>
>Hello Her Highness.
>
>Goodmorning,I've not heard from you for long.
>
>I am happy you have finally approved the payment to us.
>
>Joe Kucker Mentioned $9000.00USD, how much exactly was supposed to get to us?
>
>God Almighty will continue to bless you.
>
>How about your official and private activities?
>
>You are really a great lady.I have never in my life met a person like you.
>
>You are a giver of hope and as solid as a rock. LOL
>
>Joe Kucker has refused to send the money meant for us.
>
>His reasons for delays is meaningless.I told him to send the money,Delaying will jeopardise our conservation work over here.
>
>Her Highness Kindly Tell him to send the money to us through the account as you directed earlier.
>
>Joe Kucker should not stand in our way.What is meant to us should be given us.
>
>Her Highness,Two of my collueges will be U.K soon.
>
>They have been waiting to hear from me.They are working in the other part of the creek.Due to the distance and difficult terrain here in the NigerDelta Creeks it is difficult to reach them on phone on a daily basis.However their international passports will be sent over the weekend.They are really committed to conservation in the NigerDelta.
>
>Her Highness,Kindly instruct Joe Kucker to send the money to us.
>
>I'll be meeting with a group of Geology and Mining Students from a University over here. They intend to visit the oil producing community along with our team.Our team are conversant with the terrain.So we have to assist them reach their destination.I will be busy today and tomorrow.Though I'll be free on sunday.Her Highness kindly send your direct contact phone.I want to speak with you and hear your voice.
>
>My main concern is to receive the money.I will send the pictures promised over next week.
>
>Have a wonderful weekend.
>
>Best Wishes
>
>Brant Woodrow
>
>WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
>
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Sun Apr 02, 2006 1:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

WOODHEAD_I CAME INTO THE OFFICE HERE ON YOUR SAY SO HOPING TO FIND THE PROMISED PASSPORTS AND THE REST_THIS ON MY DAY OFF TOO WHEN I SHOULD BE FISHING FOR BREAM IN THE RIVER FLEET I HASTEN TO ADD_AND NOW DISCOVER A COMPLETE LACK OF NEWS FROM YOUR END LET ALONE EXPLANATION OR APOLOGY FOR THIS WHOLE MESS_FOR GODS SAKE MAN WHAT IS GOING ON DOWN THERE??_WHY CAN YOU NOT JUST SEND WHAT YOU HAVE PROMISED WHEN YOU SAY YOU WILL_IF YOU THOSE TWO HOPEFULS OF YOUR GANG PLAN TO MAKE A VISIT TO THE UK SIR THEN YOU WILL NEED TO ACT LESS LIKE A MORIBUND MUPPET AS NOW AND MORE LIKE SOMETHING USEFUL IN THIS WHOLE ENERVATING ENTERPRISE_I AM GOING OUT NOW AND HOPE TO SEE SOMETHING MORE PROMISING FROM YOU ON MONDAY OR YOUR LOT WILL BE CONSIDERABLY DELAYED IN THEIR VISIT THROUGH NO FAULT OF THIS DEPARTMENT_SPECIAL TREATMENT PROMISED OR NOT_ I CAN ASSURE OF THAT

T

Lonslo Tossov
Charitable Officer
The Court of St James
Broadmoor
London FU2 GIT
020 7278 6694
07951 593 525





>From: "Brant Woodrow" <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Lonslo Tossov
>Date: Fri, 31 Mar 2006 09:39:45 +0000
>Hello,Goodmorning.
>
>The International passport of Mr Chukwuemeka Igwebuike will be scanned and sent tomorrow.
>
>The second one will be sent later.
>
>We are not joking or playing.All of us are busy over here.
>
>We intend to get things in order.Expect the international passport tomorrow
>
>Regards
>
>Brant Woodrow
>
>WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Mon Apr 03, 2006 11:34 am Reply with quoteBack to top

3 April 2006

Dear Mr Woodrow,

I am in receipt of your e-mails of 31 March 2006.

I understand the urgency of your request but as I shall be in Nigeria later this week. However, it is the wish of Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret that I deliver the cash directly to you. If it is difficult to leave your work, I am prepared to travel to your Institute which I presume is near Enugu.


I shall be free next Saturday April 8th. Just give me your address and suggest a time and I will meet you there.


Yours truly,


Joseph Kucker
Chief Cashier
Chavster, Manfred and Newman Merchant Bank International PLC
69 Blunkett Avenue
St Dunstans
London FU1 7TT



Brant Woodrow <[email protected]> wrote:

Hello Melodie Fenwick
I was directed by Joseph Kucker to contact you.
You should go ahead and send the money through the account.
I am very busy and cannot meet him in Nigeria.
We really need to get the money as soon as possible.We do not need any further delays.
You should pay for the charges of the transfer from the money meant for us.
I believe it will settle the issue of charges.
The account information is viz
Lester Lin Co. Ltd
Hua Nan Commercial Bank
Hong Kong Branch
Suite 5601-3 56th Floor,
Central Plaza 18 Harbour Road,
Wanchai ,Hong Kong.
Account Number 905230037333
Swift Code HNBKHKHH
However I have made enquiry from the western Union.
They accept any currency.Do not bother about insurance.
I can pay for the western union charges. or It can be deducted from my money when I receive it over here.
Kindly send the money through Western Union. It will get to us and the charges will be deducted fromthe money.
Delaying us will be detrimental to our project.Since Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret has approved the payment,Why not send the money to us.
I have given the two options send it through the account or western Union.Deduct any charges from our money.However western Union will be faster.If you send it today,we'll get it today.Just send me the withdrawal information that will be issued at the western Union office.
The information for sending it through western Union is
Receiver -Mr Joel Ano
First Bank Nigeria
Enugu Branch.Nigeria
I am expecting to hear from you.Do not delay any further.I want to get the money today.
Regards
Brant Woodrow
WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 9:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Dear Mr Woodrow

How splendid to hear from you again; I must say it quite brightened up my day this morning having your message read out to me over my accustomed cucumber and smoke salmon sandwiches. It is kind of you to keep me up to date on the frustrations you are experiencing, as one in my position can be so much out of the loop on these matters. One puts the office johnnies on the case and then rather hopes for the best in the face of other duties here and there, but sometimes things do not turn out for the best despite good intentions.

Now, I have had my staff check with Mr Tossov, Sir Marmite, and our bankers about the whole business we have in hand here, being worried that our charitable commitments are still not being met, and it does seem that we are not entirely at fault. It certainly appears that there have been some issues revolving around absenteeism and illness at their end, all very unfortunate, which have slowed things down considerably. But, as I mentioned in the last message I dictated out to you, at least as I understand it here, there are some elements which still remain outstanding from your end which will, upon receipt, enable the whole matter to move forward. I am talking passports, travel itineraries, money transfer arrangements etc. Mr Kucker cannot be expected to do everything, especially, if I may put it bluntly, in the face of some native intransigence, perhaps by yourself, other members of your tribe and what not.

Naturally if I can do anything to speed things along at this end, then I will most be happy to do so, as one so hopes that things can be sorted out quickly enough. I have asked Mr Tossov to remain patient as I feel sure that your problems are surely only temporary, but if your colleagues intend to travel to the UK urgently, then it will be best that you action matters at once as we cannot guarantee matters for very much longer. To be frank we were planning little surprises for them, like accommodation in Broadmoor, one of our most prestigious institutions, while they stayed over and this could be in jeopardy. They would be mad to lose this opportunity. So please hurry your contacts along, thereís a good chap, and let us make progress now without further ado.

On a happier note, please tell me more about your little enterprise in which I have great interest. I am so glad to hear of your programme in respect of the environment as all these fumes are ghastly. Some related moves are afoot here you will be pleased to hear. For instance, I believe that the Queen may shortly purchase an electric buggy or two to transport her and her retinue when needs be from East to West reception halls here at the Palace.

Anyway that is all the news and views from here for now, but hope to hear from you again with some good news.

Warm regards


MARGARET




Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
Room 101
The Royal Les Dawson Suite
Kensington Doss House,
Buckingham
London
FU2 GlT
44 870 751 5170





>From: "Brant Woodrow" <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
>Hello Her Highness.
>
>GoodAfternoon.I know you had a great wekeend.
>
>I am happy to hear from you once more.
>
>Mr Kucker has refused to send the money to me.
>
>I gave him my name and told him to send the money directly to me.
>
>I willl make out time from my busy schedule to go to the bank and collect the money.
>
>Her Highness Kindly tell him to send the money to me.This money issue has taken time.
>
>The delays is totally on the part of Mr. Kucker.
>
>I am happy about the new British Ambassador to Mozambique.
>
>I will send more detailed email tomorrow.
>
>My main concern is to receive the money.
>
>My collueges coming to U.K will send their passports this week.
>
>My wife also send her regards.
>
>Our team at the WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE also wish you well.
>
>Best wishes
>
>Brant Woodrow
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 12:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Dear Brant

It seems as if things are moving forward again. I am pleased and will be sure to mention it to Her Majesty during our shuttlecock game together this evening.

Yes, now that you mention it, I do seem to remember something about Mr Kucker's travels in the third world with this and that. I am sure you will have a lot in common.

Kindly hurry along with the rest of it and let us get this deal done. I can't stop to write more as I have an appointment with Fred West, our Human Resources director here.

Please send the details about your little programme I am keen to learn more, perhaps some pictures of your lads hewing trees, looking for oil and what not?

Kind regards

MARGARET





Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
Room 101
The Royal Les Dawson Suite
Kensington Doss House,
Buckingham
London
FU2 GlT
44 870 751 5170





>From: "Brant Woodrow." <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: Princess Margaret <[email protected]>
>Subject: Duchess of Great Tesco
>Date: Tue, 4 Apr 2006 12:27:49 +0100 (BST)
> Hello Her Highness.
> Good Afternoon.
> I am really happy to hear from you once more.
> I want to give you information on my arrangement.
> Joseph Kucker will be in Nigeria from 5th to 9th April.
> He will be coming for a conference for underdeveloped nation as a U.K Representative
> Her Highness ,Are you aware if this?
> Earl of Cardigan has finally agreed to send the fertilizer.
> Mr Tossov is waiting to receive the passport.
> Hopefully it will be sent this week.
> I regret the delays.
> I will always keep you informed.
> Her Highness Kindly give me your direct contact phone.
> I will keep it confidential.
> I will send you a detailed mail about the conservation programme.
> best wishes
> Brant Woodrow
> WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
>
>
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 12:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Brant Woodrow." <[email protected]> wrote:
Hello Melodie
Thanks for sending the email.
Kindly tell Joseph Kucker to send his flight schedule.
He should tell me about the Programme.
Maybe he has to fly down to Enugu.
I'll want him to have a fill of our conservation job.
Tell him to call me in Nigeria on 08036743028.
Since he has concluded to visit Nigeria.
Is he coming because of me or a entire different project?
My collueges might be travelling back to U.K with him.
Her Royal Highness invited them.
They Mr Chukwuemeka Igwebuike and Uche Igwebuike.
I hope he'll enjoy his stay over here.
I wish him safe journey
Best Wishes
Brant Woodrow
WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE




4 April 2006


Dear Mr Woodrow,

Thank you for your e-mail.

In answer to your queries, Dr Kucker flew out to Lagos this morning to attend a meeting of the Council of Underdeveloped Nations Trusts of which he is the UK representative.


He will be happy to come to Enugu on Saturday April 8th. As he will be very busy until Friday afternoon, I suggest you call him at the Federal Palace Hotel, Lagos or you can use his mobile number which has been programmed for international roaming. It is 0906 6611911.


Alternatively you can e-mail me when it would be convenient for Dr Kucker to meet you in Enugu. I presume there are several flights from Lagos that he could take. However, he must return to Lagos on Sunday to catch his flight back to the UK. It would be most helpful if you could book him a room in a good hotel in Enugu [he will of course reimburse you for any booking fee].


Incidentally, I am pleased to inform you that your dorks will be changed into US dollars by Dr Kucker in Lagos and he will have $9,375 for you - possibly ten dollars more or less depending on any movement in the exchange rate.


Yours truly,


Melodie Fenwick
CHAVSTER,MANFRED & NEWMAN MERCHANT BANK INC
By Royal Appointment to HRH Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 1:28 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

WOODRUNT FOR GODS SAKE MAN LET ME HAVE THESE WRETCHED PASSPORTS WITHOUT DELAY SIR_ I HAVE HRH ON THE PHONE ASKING WHAT IS HAPPENING EVERY DAY IT SEEMS AND YET YOURE ABOUT AS USELESS AS A CHOCOLATE TEAPOT_ LETS HAVE SOME PRACTICAL MOVEMENT OUT OF YOUR CONSTIPATED BUSINESS END AND AT ONCE IF YOU PLEASE AS I AM SORELY PRESSED FOR TIME NOW IN REGARDS TO THE SCHEDULE


TOSSOV
Charitable Officer
The Court of St James
Broadmoor
London FU2 GIT

020 7278 6694
07951 593 525



>Hello,Goodmorning.
>
>The International passport of Mr Chukwuemeka Igwebuike will be scanned and sent tomorrow.
>
>The second one will be sent later.
>
>We are not joking or playing.All of us are busy over here.
>
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 3:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

SIR COL BRUDENELL IS WAR GAMING AT THE MOMENT FOLLOWING LAST NIGHTS ORDERS AND CANNOT RESPOND TO YOUR DESPATCH DUE TO COMMUNICATION PRIORITIES. IF I CAN BE OF HELP SIR I WILL DO MY BEST SIR BUT MANY OF THE MEN ARE OFF BARRACKS FOR THE OPERATION AND MY REINFORCEMENTS ARE CURRENTLY LIMITED, SIR. WE STILL HAVE YOUR DUNG HERE IS DUE FOR REMOVAL AS PER ORDER SHORTLY SIR TRUST THIS IS STILL THE PLAN OF ACTION SIR. AM EXPECTING COL AND REST OF MEN BACK TOMORROW ETA GMT 0800 HOURS CAN THIS MATTER WAIT SIR? AWAIT YOUR REPLY. OVER.


SGT MAJOR RORKE O'DRIFT

PP

Colonel James Thomas Brudenell DSM
7th Earl of Cardigan
Commander of Light Horse Brigade
Tennyson Barracks
600 Rode Inn Valley
Smegaroon, UK
UR1 GIT

Tel 44 20 7414 3291





>From: "Brant Woodrow." <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Colonel James Thomas Brudenell DSM
>Date: Tue, 4 Apr 2006 00:56:49 +0100 (BST)
>
>
> Hello GoodEvening.
> I really appreciate the email.
> How are you doing over there?
> The pictures were excellent.
> The parade ground is simply fantastic.
> Though I did't receive any family,private or personal pictures.
> Colonel,Kindly Send the passes to the same address to Uche Chiamaka Igwebuike and Chukwuemeka chibuzo Igwebuike.
> I have informed Uche about your warning.
> She will be cautious when in area.
> Give them all the necessary assistance.
> I really need a DVD concerning any topic on contemporary U.K Army.
> Send them through postal along with the pass.
> I'll also be expecting the Fertilizer shipping documents.
> Regards
> best Wishes
> Brant Woodrow
> WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
>
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 8:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Dear Mr Woodrow,


In answer to your questions, if you are having a problem with Dr Kucker's personal mobile telephone, this is because he is at this very moment fl;ying to Nigeria!

You should be able to contact him directly this evening after 8.00pm Nigerian time. If there is still a problem your Miss Uche should call him at the Federal Palace Hotel tel: 01 261 0464 or 0134.

Dr Kucker was last in Enugu in 1996 and I believe he stayed at the Hotel Presidential. I know he is looking forward to meeting you and your colleagues.

Yours sincerely,

Melodie Fenwick
CHAVSTER,MANFRED & NEWMAN MERCHANT BANK INTERNATIONAL
69 Blunkett Avenue
St Dunstans
London FU1 7TT



Brant Woodrow <[email protected]> wrote:

Hello Melodie Fenwick

Thanks for sending the email.
I am very happy.
My collueges Miss Uche Igwebuike and Mr. Chukwuemeka will make arrangement to welcome him.
He should feel at home in Nigeria.My collueges will make a reservation at the best Hotel in Enugu.
I am very busy in the creeks.
Tell Joseph Kucker to call me on 08036743028.
Ask him if we have to make other arrangement for him
The number you gave is difficult to reach.
Maybe he has to get a new phone on arrival in Nigeria.
Try to reach him and give him my number.
Miss Uche will contact him later on.
I hope his trip was fascinating.
Is this his first time of being in Nigeria?
I am expecting to hear from him.
Best Wishes
Brant Woodrow
WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
4 April 2006
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

SIR VERY KIND OF YOU TO WRITE BACK SIR UNFORTUNATELY THE COLONEL HAS BEEN FURTHER DELAYED BY THE COURSE OF HIS DUTIES SIR DUE TO SOME EQUIPMENT FAILURES AND MAY BE A LITTLE TIRED WHEN HE RETURNS FROM THE EXERCISE WITH THE MEN SIR. I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU FRIENDS MAY BE PAYING US HERE IN THE BARRACKS A VISIT SHORTLY SIR THAT WILL BE AN HONOUR AND I HOPE YOU WILL PERMIT THE MEN AND I TO GIVE THEM THE TRADITIONAL WELCOME WHEN THEY DO SIR IT IS ONLY A LITTLE FUN BUT THEY SHOULD WEAR THEIR OWN CLOTHES SIR AND TELL US IF THEY ARE ALLERGIC TO TAR OR FEATHERS. SIR I AM NOT SURE WHICH PICTURES YOU REFER TO I HAVE SOME TAKEN WHEN ON DUTY AROUND THE WORLD WHICH MAY BE OF INTEREST OR PERHAPS SOMETHING OF THE LIFE HERE AT CAMP SHOWING THE HISTORIC LATRINES SIR? I AM NOW STANDING BY HERE WAITING TO HEAR OF COL BRUDENELLS NEW ETA SIR AND WILL ADVISE ACCORDINGLY TRUST YOU AND YOUR TRIBE ARE WELL SIR OVER

SGT MAJOR RORKE O'DRIFT

PP

Colonel James Thomas Brudenell DSM
7th Earl of Cardigan
Commander of Light Horse Brigade
Tennyson Barracks
600 Rode Inn Valley
Smegaroon, UK
UR1 GIT

Tel 44 20 7414 3291





>From: "Brant Woodrow" <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: SGT MAJOR RORKE O'DRIFT
>Date: Tue, 04 Apr 2006 23:30:38 +0000
>SGT MAJOR RORKE O'DRIFT
>
>Hello ,Thanks for the email
>
>I really appreciate your effort to write.
>
>How are you doing? Maybe make out time to write me directly.
>
>We can as well develop the friendship.
>
>I wish Colonel James Thomas Brudenell well in the Military exercise.
>
>Indeed The U.K is the most disciplined in the world.
>
>My colluegues from the Woodrow Conservation Initiative will be in the U.K soon.
>
>Kindly give them any necessary assistance.Send me some of your pictures.
>
>Regards.
>
>Brant Woodrow
>
>WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
>
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:50 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Dear Brant

Thank you for you message, I have taken to reading out selected passages of yours to the staff here during the morning instructionals and they find much of what you are up to inspiring, I am sure.

Mr Kucker, as I understand it should be with you shortly, so please ensure that you retain a level of decorum with the fellow and that he is given a reception, one suitable to the high regard in which he is held by us. I believe for instance that he is a strict vegetarian and should not be offered the usual native fare just plonked down on a bloody platter if you follow me.

Please remind me of your phone number and I will see if I can find time to make a call. It will be nice to speak person to person so to speak, although to be frank I have found making sense through a thick native accent can a problem. One so misses the nicities of chat in all the jibber jabber and what not.

Now about the website you ask about. We are not sure exactly what you need, is it the main tourist site for Buckingham Palace for instance? I know that Sir Marmite has a small page of his own but which other one to recommend in general is problematical. If you can advise on the need you have I will try and find something suitable.

You mention a lap top and other equipment. I imagine we can try and help you out if we have a better idea of your requirements, perhaps on a lease to loan basis or something. Our man here for this task is the Thane of Cawdor, one of our privvy councillors who handles the IT side and what not here for us at the palace. His wife used to do it, but she ended up washing her hands of the whole business after a virus scare last year. Shall I ask him to get in contact with you directly?

I must dash now, I have another busy day. It is the House of Lords dodge ball competition this week, and I yet have to locate 2 dozen ermine trimmed tracksuits of suitable quality.



Kind regards

MARGARET



Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
Room 101
The Royal Les Dawson Suite
Kensington Doss House,
Buckingham
London
FU2 GlT
44 870 751 5170





>From: "Brant Woodrow" <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
>Date: Tue, 04 Apr 2006 23:22:24 +0000
>
>Hello Her Highness.
>
>I am happy for your kind response.
>
>We'll meet with Dr. Kucker in Nigeria.
>
>I also want you to mention about woodrow conservation Initiative to Her Majesty and Prince Charles. I know they will support us.
>
>Hopefully I will gather some pictures of our work and send to you.
>
>Her Highness, You are really nice to us.Kindly make out time from your busy schedule to call me on phone.I will really appreciate it.
>
>Her Highness ,Do you have any website where I can read more about you and other Royalty in Great Britain?
>
>I have told my collueges about the need to hasten the visa processing.
>
>Though all of us has been busy lately.
>
>Her Highness ,Can you help send us some Digital Camera Recorder and Laptop Computers,It is handy and will be easier to move around with
>
>We'll really need it to document our work for posterity.
>
>We'll really appreciate the effort.
>
>Remain Blessed
>
>Yours Sincerely
>
>Brant Woodrow
>
>WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
>
>
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 10:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

FOR GODS SAKE JUST GET ON WITH IT MAN


T


Lonslo Tossov
Charitable Officer
The Court of St James
Broadmoor
London FU2 GIT
020 7278 6694
07951 593 525





>From: "Brant Woodrow." <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: Lonslo Tossov <[email protected]>
>Subject: Lonslo Tossov
>Date: Wed, 5 Apr 2006 00:43:15 +0100 (BST)
>
> Hello
> THANKS FOR THE EMAIL
> DO NOT GET ANNOYED WITH ME.
> MY COLLUEGES WILL CONTACT YOU WITHIN THE WEEK.
> WE'RE EXPECTING TO CONCLUDE THE ASSIGNMENT WE HAVE AT HAND. IT IS REALLY IMPORTANT.
> DO NOT TAKE OUR SILENCE AS BEING UNSERIOUS.
> I HAVE TO HER ROYAL HIGHNESS ABOUT IT.
> DO NOT LOSE YOU PATIENCE WITH US.
> ONCE MORE THANKS FOR THE UNDERSTANDING
> REGARDS
> BRANT WOOODROW
>
>
>---------------------------------
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

5 April 2006


Dear Mr Igwebuike,


Thank you for your e-mail. I have already informed Mr Woodrow that Dr Kucker is at present in Lagos at the Federal Palace Hotel. He wants to visit Enugu as his old friend from Oxford University days, Mr Christopher Ojokwu, hails from that part of your country.


The last time Dr Kucker was in Enugu he stayed at the Hotel Presidential but I am sure he is quite happy to leave the hotel reservation in your capable hands.


As I told Mr Woodrow this morning, Dr Kucker has US$9,666 for your project as a gift from Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco.


Yours sincerely,


Melodie Fenwick
CHAVSTER, MANFRED & NEWMAN MERCHANT BANK INTERNATIONAL PLC


Chukwuemeka-Chibuzo Igwebuike <[email protected]> wrote:
Dear Melodie Fenwick.
Brant has told me about you and Dr Joseph Kucker.
I am very happy to write you.
I am expecting to get in contact with Dr. Kucker.
I will be in Enugu on thursday.We have been busy at the creeks in Bayelsa state.I am really surprised that Dr. Kucker will be in Enugu.
He has really delayed our journey to U.K
Hopefully he will give the money to us on saturday.
I will contact him on a phone that Mr Brant has given to me.
What does Kucker like over here? I can easily make arrangement to pick him at the Enugu Airport ,take him to the best Hotel around and let him catch fun while in the Coal city.
have a wonderful day
Yours Sincerely
Mr Emeka Igwebuike



Mr. Chukwuemeka Igwebuike.
Enugu Nigeria.
A Healthy and Prosperous world is to the Glory of God.
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 4:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

"Brant Woodrow." <[email protected]> wrote:


Hello Melodie Fenwick
Thanks for the email.
It is already Night in Nigeria.
Did you reach Dr. Kucker?
Has he arrived safely in Nigeria?
I will make effort to call him in the morning.
Mr Chukwuemeka Igwebuike will meet him.
They will make effort to make a reservation at TopRank Hotel or Hotel Presidential.
I will be expecting your response in the morning.
Goodnight.
Brant Woodrow


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Dear Mr Woodrow,


Yes, Dr Kucker is now in NIgeria at the Federal Palace Hotel although I believe he may stay tonight with his old friend from Oxford University Mr Christopher Ojukwu who is now a leading economics advisor to the Nigerian Government.


If he is not at the Hotel, you may leave a message for him at the Reception Desk.


I can now confirm that Dr Kucker has US$9,666 for your project.


Yours sincerely,

Melodie Fenwick
CHAVSTER, MANFRED & NEWMAN MERCHANT BANK INTERNATIONAL PLC
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:17 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Dear Mr Igwebuike

How splendid to hear from you. I am sure that you will get out of your meeting with Mr Kucker everything that you surely deserve. Please give him my regards and enquire as to how his flight was, as I know he was nervous about making the trip. I am sure he will appreciate a real native welcome with plenty of colour if you know what I mean; if you can arrange some dancers or perhaps a introduction to your chief and his harem (although please do not press any of your female relatives upon him Mr Kucker is a strict presbytarian), then so much the better in breaking the ice?

Kindly keep me informed as to how matters turn out and if we can be of any further assistance. Mr Tossov, our charitable officer, has asked me kindly to remind you about the supply of passports and what not for which he has urgent expectation. He is slightly ill ease, he confesses, about these matters and would appreciate a quick response.

Kind regards

MARGARET


Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
Room 101
The Royal Les Dawson Suite
Kensington Doss House,
Buckingham
London
FU2 GlT
44 870 751 5170





>From: Chukwuemeka-Chibuzo Igwebuike <[email protected]>
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret
>Date: Tue, 4 Apr 2006 17:17:59 -0700 (PDT)
>Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco,
>Stewardess
>of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
>Room 101
>The Royal Les Dawson Suite
>Kensington Doss House,
>Buckingham
>London
>FU2 GlT
>44 870 751 5170
>
> Good Evening.
> May the Good lord protect and Guide the Royalty in U.K
> I am mr Chukwuemeka Igwebuike.
> Mr Brant Woodrow gave me your email address.I want to familiarise myself with you.
> Brant has told me every effort you've made to support the conservation work over here.
> I have planned to be in U.K along with Uche to get some information and training concerning conservation .
> Brant has told me about your magnanimity to host us and do the visa processing.It is really marvellous and unbelievable.
> I have been assigned to meet Dr. Kucker.
> Hopefully he should be in Nigeria today.He will be coming with the much awaited funds from you.God bless you for the effort.
> I hope Dr. Kucker is a nice man.I will make out time to take him around the Coal city.
> I like the Royal family especially Her Majesty ,Queen Elizabeth,Prince Charles ,Harry and Edward.
> We promise to utilise the funds.
> Bye Her Highness
> Yours
> Mr Igwebuike
>
>
>
>Mr. Chukwuemeka Igwebuike.
> Enugu Nigeria.
> A Healthy and Prosperous world is to the Glory of God.
>


Last edited by Lonslo_Tossov on Wed Apr 05, 2006 9:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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thud419
Baiting Guru


Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 3193


PostPosted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 8:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Still a great bait. Keep up the good work. Laughing

_________________
Click here to feel warm and cozy.

I did not f**k your wife in any way -- Nike Akanbi
I don't know what else to do or do I continue filling and filling forms. -- Barr. Koloti
you has been dribbling me up and down but I will show some thing you have never seen before, I think you breath air wait and see. -- Sand Timer Barr. Cole
Cellphone x14
United States x 0.25 won from Reaper in a sucker's bet

Hello Kitty! pony Mortar x8 Closed lad accounts x several

Last edited by thud419 on Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:30 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 11:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Dear Brant

Many thanks for your message. Perhaps you will pardon me if I admit that, next after my bubble bath and matins each morning here in our lovely Bernard Manning Chapel, I most look forward to hearing from you and about your little projects, trees and what not.

Now as for the delay in sending the passports to Mr Tossov, this is slightly unfortunate and will hold up the visas I imagine, so do what you can. I know that our Charitable Officer has a philanthropic nature but does finds himself somewhat tested by delay.

I shall ask around here and see what website we can recommend. I am sure that there will be one which will not be too demanding for you, with simple text.

Lord Macbeth, Thane of Cawdor, our Master of the Electricals here will no doubt be in contact shortly. He will be keen to find out your requirements no doubt. After all, he often says to me in such situations, that if it were done when it is done, then it were well it were done quickly. I am sure you will concur.

Kind regards

MARGARET

Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
Room 101
The Royal Les Dawson Suite
Kensington Doss House,
Buckingham
London
FU2 GlT
44 870 751 5170





>From: "Brant Woodrow." <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: Princess Margaret <[email protected]>
>Subject: Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
>Date: Thu, 6 Apr 2006 10:44:09 +0100 (BST)
> Hello Her Highness
> Good Morning.
> I am happy to hear from you once more.
> I am writing from Akwa Ibom state , a oil producing community .
> The area has a lot of rain forest.We got a case a rare Spagarus Monkey breed.
> Hunters and villagers has been depleting the population over the years.
> The breed is extinct in the Amazon and could only be found in the NigerDelta
> We are teaching them on the need to spare the monkeys.
>
> I have delegated Mr Igwebuike to Meet Dr. Kucker.
> I trust they will give him a warm reception.
> Her Highness ,Kindly tell The Thane of Cawdor to contact me directly.
> I want a set of recording and communication equipments.
> It can be on a lease basis.It should include recording equipments like Video camera recrder,Digital recoders and Cameras.
> Communication equipment like fax machine and Vsat and Internet equipments.
> I want to use it to cordinate our workers through our Corporate office in Enugu.
> I will work out the terms with The Thane of Candor.
> Her Highness you can always call me on 2348036743028.
> I want a website that focuses on the History of the Royal family in Great Britain and possibly get some pictures.
> My Collueges coming to the U.K will send their international passport to Mr Tossov over the weekend.
> Have a wonderful day Her Highness.
> Yours Sincerely
> Brant Woodrow
> WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
>
>
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 11:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Mr Woodrow

As it is my honour to be Master of Electricals for the House of Windsor, it falls to me to consider your requirements which I believe you have outlined.

I will need some more detailed technical specifications as to the exact equipment required as those which HRH Margaret has sent on to me are rather sparse. I shall then look in our stores for refurbished models at least in the first instance. For instance, what is the voltage where you are? 240v, 110v or some irregular native current? Either myself or my assistant Duncan King will then respond.

I trust that you are able to provide the details, without making much of a drama out of this.

Regards

MACBETH

His Excellency The Thane of Cawdor
Master of the Electricals
69 Bard Street
Birnham Wood,
Dunsinane
Scotland
U1T WAT

>Her Highness ,Kindly tell The Thane of Cawdor to contact me directly. I
>want a set of recording and communication equipments. It can be on a
>lease basis.It should include recording equipments like Video camera
>recrder,Digital recoders and Cameras.
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 2:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR_I HAVE BEEN IN CONTACT WITH COL BRUDENELL SIR DURING THE BREAK IN RADIO SILENCE AND HIS WAR GAMES CAMPAIGN HAS BEEN NOTHING BUT ONE LONG RIDE INTO TROUBLE FOR HIM AND ALSO THE 600 OF OUR LADS WITH HIM SIR_ALSO IT APPEARS THAT WEATHER WAS BAD WHICH DID NOT HELP MATTERS AND THEN THEY FACED SOME OPPOSITION DURING THE MOCK BATTLE WITH CANONS TO THE LEFT OF THEM AND CANONS TO THE RIGHT OF THEM I HEARD SIR_HOWEVER TO BRING THIS REPORT ROUND TO THE POINT SIR EXCUSE THE TARDINESS IN DOING SO BUT I MUST REPORT TO YOU THAT A STRAY FLARE DURING NIGHT OPERATIONS CAUGHT THE COLONEL UNAWARES AND GAVE HIM A SLIGHT CONCUSSION JUST BELOW THE HELMET LINE SIR WHICH MEANS HE MAY BE OFF DUTY FOR A DAY OR SO IN THE FIELD MED STATION SIR I TRUST THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE TOO INCONVENIENT AS I KNOW YOU ARE WAITING FOR THE DUNG DISPERSAL TO BE PUT IN MOTION AS ARE WE ALL HERE REMAINING AT BARRACKS SIR

I WILL HAVE A LOOK SIR AND SEE WHAT I CAN SEND SAFELY FROM MY PRIVATE PHOTOS SIR SOME FROM ACTIVE SERVICE MAYBE BUT I WILL NOT INCLUDE ANYTHING TOO BLOODY SIR AS I KNOW YOU AND YOURS WILL SURELY NOT WANT TO SEE HEADS AND ARMS LAYING ALL OVER THE BLOODY SHOP OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT SIR TRUSTING THIS IS AN ADEQUATE RESPONSE TO YOU INSTRUCTION SIR OVER

SGT MAJOR OíRORKE DRIFT

pp


Colonel James Thomas Brudenell DSM
7th Earl of Cardigan
Commander of Light Horse Brigade
Tennyson Barracks
600 Rode Inn Valley
Smegaroon, UK
UR1 GIT

Tel 44 20 7414 3291





>From: "Brant Woodrow." <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: James Thomas Brudenell <[email protected]>
>Subject: SGT MAJOR RORKE O'DRIFT
>Date: Thu, 6 Apr 2006 11:35:22 +0100 (BST)
>
>Hello SGT MAJOR RORKE O'DRIFT
>How are you doing?
> I really appreciate the email.
> I wish Earl of Cardigan will be back to send the consignment.
> You should send some private pictures and pictures from military service.
> My friends are not allergic to anything
> I really appreciate the email.
> have a wonderful day
> Brant Woodrow
> WOODROW CONSERVATION INITIATIVE
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Lonslo_Tossov
Master Baiter


Joined: 15 Sep 2005
Posts: 117
Location: Mbalongawank SA


PostPosted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 4:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

IGWUEPUKEY_ IF YOU ARE HAPPY THAT THESE MATTERS ARE NOW RUNNING A WEEK LATE SIR THEN WE HAVE TO LEAVE IT AT THAT ALTHOUGH THIS CONSTANT DISMAL DITHERING IS HARDLY VERY PROFESSIONAL FROM START TO FINISH IN MY OPINION_KINDLY RUSH THESE SO CALLED DOCUMENTS TO ME AS SOON AS YOU OR YOUR GANG FINALLY HAVE THINGS IN ORDER YOUR END_ MY STAFF AND I REALLY CANNOT HANG AROUND LIKE SOME PRESIDENTIAL EXECUTION SQUAD AWAITING AN ELECTION RECOUNT_ I CAN ASSURE YOU OF THAT

NOW GET TO IT MAN


TOSSOV

Charitable Officer
The Court of St James
Broadmoor
London FU2 GIT
020 7278 6694
07951 593 525





>From: Chukwuemeka-Chibuzo Igwebuike <[email protected]>
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Hello Mr Tossov
>Date: Tue, 4 Apr 2006 17:08:58 -0700 (PDT)
>Dear Mr Tossov
> I am Mr Chukwuemeka Igwebuike
> Mr Brant has told me about you.
> We are awaiting a visitor from the U.K
> I'll send the international passport along with Uche Igwebuike on sunday.
> Everything going on well.We'll be in the U.K in a forthnight.
> I hope to meet you.
> have a wonderful day
> Yours Sincerely
> Mr Emeka Igwebuike
>
>
>Mr. Chukwuemeka Igwebuike.
> Enugu Nigeria.
> A Healthy and Prosperous world is to the Glory of God.
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