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. Because of health problems I find myself on this computer way to much and have had many fun times. Iíd like to share them with you all.
Iím sure you all know about those letters from Africa saying they want help collecting millions of dollars. I started collecting them, they can be quite entertaining. Let me tell youÖ..
I received a letter wanting my help collecting a large sum of money. Here is my standard reply:::::
My dear sir; I would so like to help you but I know very little about banks since 1984 when the bank said I was overdrawn (which I was by 14 cents) and they charged me 25 dollars. I have since kept all my hard earned money in my mattress. (I tell you this in the strictest confidence)
I did however inquire that in order to handle a transfer of that size you would have to send me $500.oo on a US postal money order so I could open an account. Then I would require 40% of total to pay taxes on such a large sum. So after all that and your generous offer of 30%, I would be happy to help youÖ..
Well I thought that would be the end. They contacted me by messenger saying he was soooo attracted to me. Oh Boy! The games begin! He said he lived in Utah but he was working in Africa, he understood that I couldnít help with the transfer but he was owed $9000.oo for some work from a company in the USA. Could he have the person send me the money and then in turn wire it to him there. Yeh right! So sure I said SEND ME THE MONEY! I really didnít believe it would go any farther. It took a while for the mail to get it here so in the mean time we chatted.
It was around Valentines day and he kept asking about the check. I wasnít in a good mood that day and when he asked why, I said No one ever got me flowers for valentines day and that I knew he really didnít care about me just his check. He said heíd get me flowers because he was falling in love with me. (yep rolling on the floor by now) Well the next day I about shit my pants when the flower truck pulled up. I got a BIG basket with candy, tea, tea pot, large vase of flowers, teddy bear, and balloons. (worth over 100 dollars! The check came that day and I called the bank on the check. Of course they say there is no such account. Later that day he contacted me on the messenger and I said the check still hadnít come. I was happy with my flowers but my mom cried because she didnít get any. He said he was sorry and she would be happy tomorrow as he hoped he would when the check came. Yeppers the next day a different flower truck came with a basket for mom with fruit, candy, flowers and teddy bear!
I contacted the FBI about the check and they would get back to me but in the mean time I was to keep in contact with him. I kept telling him that it hadnít come, probably because I lived far from a town with post office. He started sounding desperate and said he really needed the money to pay rent, could I loan him 500. I said I couldnít and he asked would I sell stuff for him. I said I didnít know but if he tells me what he has Iíll try to find a buyer. 2 days later I get a big box from Old Navy store full of jeans in different sizes. Now I worry, am I receiving stolen goods? This was on a Friday so I decided to call the store on Monday. Lo and behold but on Saturday I get another box of jeans. 8 pairs all together. Ok shits getting a little to deep for me. On Monday I called the FBI and they had me send a copy of the check and said I should get a hold of the store, and have no farther contact as they would use my old ID and contact this person. I contacted Old Navy store and they were glad that I had let them know because a larger shipment was being sent on that credit card. Because I cooperated they let me keep the jeans and sent me an email the next day telling me it was a stolen card and thanked me again! Since then I havenít gotten any flowers but I do play with them.
I am putting it all on a free site that Iím building and when I get done I will put the address on here for you all to see.
I now only respond to those that are a little different. Like the one from a 20yr old African boy that wants me to be his mom. I have started a site to share my life (Ha Ha) With my adopted African if youíd like to see what I have so far take a peak. http://www.geocities.com/ananis2u
Nurse Nasty Baiting Guru
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Location: Australia, where a dingo stole my eski
Here is what I meant to put in, sorry how do I delete
how are you ? i hope you are fine as am hear now in
Ghana.I am 20yrs old boy.i stay hear alone,i was about
12yrs when my mother die and my father die when i was
17yrs.When there where alive i am a student but now no
one who will care for me so i stop going to school.Am
now playing football hear in Ghana.So please i want
you to be my Mum.to take me as your own child ok. hope
to hear from you soon bye.
Dear Son, I'd be right proud to adopt you. How soon can you get here? I never had no kids and I always hated being around the little bratty things but seein how your 20 it might not be so bad. Of course we got to find you a job but heck Mc Donalds hires anybody. They even hired my sister and shes nuts. I know that your one of them moslooms but there aint much pork in them there hamburgs, heck theres not that much meat in em anyway. I hear there using horse meat mostly. You can touch horse meat cant ya.
Well let me know when your commin so's I can clean out the horse trailer so's you'll have a place to sleep when ya get here. Dont worry bout the horse we done ate him the first 3 days of ramadin. I figured since I have a mosloom son I should learn all the hollidays. I hope this makes you happy. Tell me about your other hollidays so I can practice.
Well I'll be waiting for your letters Your MUM-Ima Chea
These are responses to letters asking to pose as relatives of dead people to collect millions
My dear Mr. Demba, I thank you for your trust. It is hard to trust people now a days. I trusted my husbands sister and she betrayed me. You see I to have had a major loss in my life. I use to have money in the banks and a nice house but now I live in a trailer and keep my money in my mattress. It is sad what happened to your father. How is your mother?
I dont see how I can help in getting you to the UK as I live in the United States.
I have however contacted a friend in Zimbabwe and he said you should not come out of hiding.
Perhaps you should concider this a life change and forget the old life and get on with the new. I know its hard to go from rich to poor but it happens and we have to do our best. Being poor is not that bad but I miss having a toilet inside the house.Do you have a job? Maybe I could help you with that. I know many bankers in South Africa that may give you work. Do you have education? If I had education they would give me a job. Oh I forgot do you have teeth. They wont hire you if you have a bad mouth because you need to smile alot. If you have a bad mouth you may have to get a job at Mc Donalds. Do you have Mc Donalds where you are? I know they will hire you cause they hired my sister and shes nuts. They even let her cook hamburgers and she got a free meal, well I dont know if it was really free but if she dropped one on the floor she could eat it. Accidents do happen!
Well let me know if I can help......your new friend Ima Chea
Dear sir: I am writing in regards to a letter my mother recieved asking for her help. As she is senile and unable to handle her affairs I am writing on her behalf. I dont know how we can help as we have no dealings with banks since 1984 when the bank said we were overdrawn, which ok we were by about $3.oo but they didnt have to come and take our new toilet. We would have paid them next month but oh no them bankers cant wait. They take other peoples money and use it where ever they want. They call it stocks but I know its our money they play with. We finally saved enough for a new hole to be dug but we still have to build some walls cause we cant move the old building because it got to full. I've been going to town to try and find a new man to help out around here but most are already married. You see my last 2 husbands died before we could get things done and we still live in this old trailer. Maybe you can move here, marry me and get the money and start a bussiness. I know a real good one we could work together. My boss is selling his business of icecream trucks and it makes real good money. I use to bring home $45.oo every day course thats before taxes but hes got 7 trucks. Let me know if your interested....your friend Ima
Dearest David; I am so saddened to here of your loss and problems in your country. How fortunate for you that you experienced a period of wealth in your life. At least you have that. I use to have a house and some pretty nice things till after my husband died. Now I live in a trailer with my mom. We have a dog, a cat and a bird that lives with us. I to have had to learn to live diferently. I have P.A.D. a bad heart and now my kidney is bad. Most of my teeth have fallen out due to the medicine and I have a bad infection in my mouth. I have no health insurance or dental. I'm going to a friends tomorrow to have them pull my tooth it really hurts bad.
Well enough of me. I dont see how I can help you. Why didnt your fathers lawyer help you with this? Can you not open a bank account there and have it transfered. I really dont know about banks because I keep my money in my mattress.
My dear sir if it is true you cannot reveal your identity then perhaps you should make a new life for you and your mother and forget about the money. I know its a hard thing but its better to be safe. How have you lived up to now? Is it really so bad? Do you have a toilet in your house? If you do its better than where i live. We have a shed in the woods behind the house with a hole in it. It smells very bad but I burn wintergreen bushes in the hole and its not so bad. I have lots of information like this I would be glad to share with you. Like when you wash your clothes in the river be sure to weigh them down with a rock or they will floot away. ( I lost my moms good dress that way and she was mad).
Well anyway write when you can and I will pray that we all have a better life. Your friend Ima P. Chea
My dear Alice; I'm sure I am not the one to be embarassed. You must be seriously misinformed. For anyone in the USA to complete such a transaction one would have to have at least 45% already in an account just to pay the taxes. I doubt there is anyone that could do this in the whole state I live. More important do you realize how many of these letters we kind Americans get of this kind in one day? If you desire American hard eaned dollars I suggest you move real close to the next disaster such as earthquake or hurricane then find the tent with a big red cross on it to get your share...
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