Author |
Message |
Larry Flynt
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 03 Jan 2005
Posts: 521
Location: microwaving all the Peeps in your Easter basket
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Posted:
Wed Oct 05, 2005 1:48 am |
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(sung to the tune of the traditional children's song "Bingo")
There was a baiter, had a lad
and Songo was his name-O!
S-O-N-G-O!
S-O-N-G-O!
S-O-N-G-O!
and Songo was his name-O!
If baiting Song-o is wrong-o, I don't want to be right!
Quote: |
From: Send an Instant Message "Mrs Jewel Songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Date: Mon, 10 May 2004 00:18:45 -0700
Subject: l solicite your cooperation for our mutual benefits.
FROM: MRS JEWEL SONGO
PLOT 2 AREA 5 FAITH ROAD,
SIERRA LOENE,WEST AFRICA.
Dear sir,
I am Mrs Jewel Songo,wife of the late Dr. Williams Songo of Sierra
Leone.
Early in January 2001 , the rebels in my country struck our township
and killed my husband and my daughter in one of their attacks. My late
husband, Dr William Songo being the The president of the sierra leone
daimond and gold cooperation was a prime target a wealthy and influential
businessman.
Fortunately for me, I was in church with my only surviving son,Master
Daniel when the attack took place.
When we finally got home for the remains of my family and the
subsequent burial that followed, I discovered a document indicating that my
husband had deposited some $20million United States in Ghana and Europe.
This money, according to the document, was meant for investment abroad
for his children education.
Upon the discovery of this document, I travelled to make claims for the
said money as the only surviving next of kin to my late husband.
But deliberatly, I have kept all my husband brothers, uncles and Aunts
out of the issue as none of them will be happy to know we are in
possession of such money,except my only surviving son who i intent to send
out to study abroad after investing the money.
I have succeded in presenting the necessary documents as the next of
Kin. I do not know want to invest the money here in Sierra Lonne because
of political uncertainty, but I have decided to contact you to seek
your assistance in helping me to take it out to your country or through
your account for investment,help my only surviving son to come and
continue his education,when the investment is set up in your country.
I am really desperate as I am left with my only son in the world. Most
importantly,I seriously appeal that you maintain high level of secrecy
and confidentiality in the whole thing.
We have agreed to offer you 15% of the total amount on helping us
secured the money,while 5% is equally set aside for you incase of any
expenses that you might incurred in the process of helping us retrieve these
funds for investment abroad and 80% for the proposed investment .
On hearing from you,l will immediately inform my only surviving son who
will liase with you for sucessful retrieve of the funds and the
transfer of the funds oversea to you.
l await your respond.
I remain yours,
Regards,
Mrs Jewel Songo |
Quote: |
Date: Fri, 30 Sep 2005 11:05:31 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert
Subject: Your proposal
To: Send an Instant Message [email protected]
Dearest Jewel Song-o:
That really sucks about your husband, but given the political climate
in Africa he would have been taken out by either a rabid monkey or an
8-year old with an AK47 in due time anyway. Grieve not, Jewel! For I am
Larry Flynt, publisher of Barely Legal and Hustler, and I wish to help
you with your son and the money. Please tell me what I need to do to
help you.
Sincerely,
Larry Flynt |
Quote: |
Date: Sun, 2 Oct 2005 10:19:49 -0700 (PDT)
From: Send an Instant Message "jewel songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: Please contact my son for details.
To:
Dear Mr Larry Flynt,
So nice to hear from you.These is true.As soon as l hear from you i quickly get in touch with my only son to intimate him of the latest developnment.He is happy to work with you knowing your are a publisher of barely legal and hustler gives him more confidence.He is a civil engineer,but presently a missionary in Nigeria.Please give me your private telephone and fax line for effective communication so that my son can reach to you for details.You can reach reach my son Master Daniel Songo for details on email:[email protected],Telephone+2348027866431,as l want you to deal directly with him.Be expecting to hear from him also.l await your urgent reply as usual.My warms regards to you and your family.Best Regards,Mrs Jewel Songo
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As always, don't call Song-O. Especially don't do anything so juvenile as to stick his/her/its phone number into a mass insult bait.
Quote: |
Date: Mon, 3 Oct 2005 12:26:07 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert
Subject: Re: Please contact my son for details.
To: Send an Instant Message "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Song-O!
Jewel, I am so pleased that your son has assumed the missionary position in Nigeria. It is also good that he himself is not a Nigerian, since it is well known in my country that Nigerians are both thieves and cannibals. He should take extra steps to protect himself from becoming missionary Mcnuggets.
My phone number is (212) 631-1194. I haven't used a fax machine in years. My last fax machine was a GE product, and it got really hot and would occasionally catch on fire when plugged in. Email is really the best way to get a hold of me.
I will email your son later. How old is he? If he is under 18, has he ever been on a NAMBLA camp-out?
Sincerely,
Larry Flynt |
The phone number with the Manhattan area code is the voice mailbox for the real . And no, I don't feel one fucking bit guilty pairing up child molestors with 419 scammers. They deserve one another.
Quote: |
From: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address BookAdd to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
To:
Subject: Please forward the following infor,l have your names and particulars from my mom
Date: Tue, 04 Oct 2005 14:00:45 +0100
Dear Larry Flynt,.lam Mr Daniel Songo,from Sierra Loone,Africa.lam
33years
old.
l have your names and particulars from my mother,Mrs Jewel Songo.What
you
heard from her is the truth and noting but the truth.Compliment of the
day..
At present,lam here in Nigeria as a missionary.
lam very much interested to invest in buying and selling of
property,real
estate and hotel business in your country.
l want you to represent us there as our "FRONT or REPRESENTATIVE,we
will
transfer the sum of tweenty million us dollars($20m) to you for the
purpose
of the above mention business in your country.Please note,15% of the
total
funds is for you as our representative,while 2% is enmarked for
expenses.My
mother already told me everything about you.
At present,l have transfer the money from Africa to Europe .l will
give you
the contact to get the money from there.(1) PLEASE FORWARD TO ME THE
NOMINATED ACCOUNT TO RECEIVED THE MONEY ,i.e account name,account
number,sort code,bank name (2)YOUR MAILING ADDRESS.
l intend to visit your country, after the take off of the
investment.Once l
hear from you,i will forward a draft copy of "Trust Agreement" to you
for
your perusal and imput.lf its okay by you we will all sign and commerce
the
business.
My telephone number here in Nigeria is +2348027866431.
Untill i hear from you,forward those infor to me.
l will endeavour to call you on your telephone,but equally,You can call
me
at your convenience for dicussion.Regards,Daniel Songo.
Regards,Daniel Songo |
Quote: |
Date: Tue, 4 Oct 2005 09:05:52 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" < View Contact Details View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert
Subject: Greetings!
To: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Daniel Song-o!
Compliments of the season to you too! As your mother no doubt told you, I am a sucessful American publisher of such periodicals and trade journals as Barely Legal and Hustler. I am also very knowledgable about investments, especially the exciting Amish Electification Project that I am spearheading. In a nutshell, this project will bring exciting cable channels such as Spice and SpankTV to the bearded primitive inbreds of rural Pennsylvania. Also, one should not forget the exciting potential of bathing-lady futures, a risky if lucrative market.
As you can imagine, I have several accounts that would be ideal for recieving your money. I have a no-load checking account in Buckfutter National Bank as well as a Roth 419(fu) in Shiver Savings and Loan. The Discover card also gives you 1% cash back on all purchases. I realize that because of your missionary position, you may not be able to recommend the proper account, but I believe strongly in keeping you 'in the loop'. I didn't get a chance to ask your mother if she likes missionary position, but I have a feeling that she likes more exotic positions given her abilities.
Some more information about me. Despite my financial success, I am a widower confined to a wheelchair. Fortunately, I have been able to take out a lot of aggression on Jerry Falwell (I call him Fartwell), my hated rival for Janet Reno's affections. I have several children, all of whom refuse to be seen in public with me. I still pine for Janet Reno.
Let me know what you think!
Larry Flynt |
Quote: |
Date: Tue, 4 Oct 2005 13:34:22 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert
Subject: I contacted your son for details!
To: Send an Instant Message "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Jewel:
I have contacted your son! He seems really nice. Do you enjoy the missionary position with your son? I can't wait to hear back from you!
By the way, is your country near Chad? I've always wanted to visit Chad!
Sincerely,
Larry Flynt |
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_________________ Banks I have hit in the groin with oranges... x1; Lads on safari
Thanks Mr Larry, I dont need any kind of monkey. -Jurgen Sterk
...and moreover the name is Wesley Harry and not Hairy Weasel. -Barrister/Bannister Curtis Davis
Odium. Fallacia. Perfidia.
Last edited by Larry Flynt on Fri Oct 28, 2005 4:49 pm; edited 9 times in total |
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teddythewonderlizard
Master Baiter
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 207
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Posted:
Wed Oct 05, 2005 1:45 pm |
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I believe Larry's interest in Janet Reno is based solely on the choreoathetotic movements; gotta love a girl who can...
wiggle it, just a little bit. |
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Larry Flynt
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 03 Jan 2005
Posts: 521
Location: microwaving all the Peeps in your Easter basket
|
Posted:
Mon Oct 10, 2005 5:03 pm |
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Quote: |
From: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
To:
Subject: Send your account details and mailing address.
Date: Wed, 05 Oct 2005 10:28:19 +0100
Hello Larry,
Well received your mail and content noted.
You are the right investment manager or Representative we want because
of
your knowledge about investment.
Our position is that as you our investment manager,we will abide by
your
advice on area of investment you want us to invest our money.
lam a civil engineer,a missionary.Please furnish me with your choosen
nominated account to received the money,pls note (it can be 2 or 3
different
account) to split the $20million into it .
l want to say,once the investment is set up,l will seek your assistance
to
come over to your country so that we meet face to face and see the
progress
of the investment and also to continue in my studies.
lam very sorry to hear about your predicament,l quite believe life is
ultimate,God has a purpose for your creation,do not worry yourself,its
well
with us.Human life is all about one problem or the other,imagine our
own as
my mother already told you,l lost my late father,he was a very rich,
nice
and caring father,untill his death,he was president of gold and diamond
cooperation in Sierra Loene before rebels who attack Govt official kill
him
with two of my late brothers.Ever since then,life has not been easy,lam
left
now with my only my sweet mother in this world who at present is not
even on
sound health .
l believe God design our meeting together,all what we want from you is
to be
honest and truthful and keep the business confidential for our
mutual
benefits.
l was nervous when my mother explain how she came in contact with you
on
internate because of what my pastor friend advice me about bad people
on
internate and even these Nigerian people,that l should be very careful.
Anyway,l quite believe all is well,do send me your nominated account
details
and your mailing address in your reply mail to me.
On receiving these information,l will forward to you a draft trust
agreement
for your perusal and imput if any before we commence the trasaction.
Untill l hear from you.l will appreciate talking to you on telephone at
your
convenience time today .My telephone to call me is +2348027866431.
Regards,Daniel Songo. |
I've noticed that every time I broach the subject of Chad, the lads automatically assume we have some deep bond in common. My (albeit limited) understanding of Chad is that its main exports are poverty and sand. Oh yeah, and Colonel Khaddaffi (he still hasn't been promoted to general!??!) tried to invade it in the 1970's but still managed to fuck that up. I just think the name of the country is funny; like the "Federal Republic of Steve" or "Democratic People's Republic of Craig". I now eagerly await your accusations of my cultural insensitivity.
Quote: |
Date: Wed, 5 Oct 2005 03:49:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: Can you visit us soon?,lt will be great.
To:
Dear Flynt,
O yes,Sierra Loene is close to chad.Even Ghana that we have part of the funds deposited in a security firm is close is chad too.lf you can visit Accra,Ghana to have the deposit from here find,or you work for the release of the funds in Europe.ln any case coming here would have given me oppurtunity of our meeting very soon.Howvever,lam not alright with my son position for now as a missionary. l want him back to school to fulfill his late father plans so that he can assume his rightful position with your help and assistance.Can you visit us here soon so as to retrieve the money deposit here in Ghana?.or do you want to transfer the one from Europe first?l hope your having good communication with my son,Daniel.l pause here to hear from you.Best Regard, Jewel Songo |
Quote: |
From: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
To:
Subject: RE: Greetings!
Date: Thu, 06 Oct 2005 16:14:17 +0100
Hello Flynt,How are you today?hope fine.lam still waiting for the
information from you.please call me on telephone at your convenience
today
lets talk.Untill l hear from you.Regards,Daniel Songo |
At this point, I take a respite from baiting. I really did get an intestinal virus this weekend, and didn't get out of bed very much. At least college football was on. Observe then, one of the few times that I am actually not telling the mugus a screaming bald-faced lie!
Quote: |
Date: Fri, 7 Oct 2005 11:17:30 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: Attached email is my pictures.
To:
Hello Flynt,l hope my email meet you well.Attached email is my pictures.Please do try to concludes details with my son.He said he call your number ,but it was your answering machine.l hope to hear from you soon. Have nice weekend.Best Regard,Mrs Jewel Songo. |
Whoa! MILF alert!
Quote: |
Date: Mon, 10 Oct 2005 09:37:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert
Subject: I'm back!
To: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]>
Daniel Song-O!
I must apologize for not writing back to you sooner. I have spent the last several days sick from an intestinal virus. All I could do was lie in bed and occasionally get up to spray paint the toilet brown. I also vomited up a lot of things that I don't remember eating. Well, I'm really glad to say that the days of Hershey squirts are behind me and we can now move forward with our business.
I have chosen my nominated account as my Koegh 419(fu) load-bearing account at *DELETED* National Bank. The account number is 687468465 and my account represenative is Mr. Jar Jar Binks (I think he is Jamaican).
Daniel, please tell me more about yourself. Your milf mother has sent me pictures of herself, but she seems worried that you are in that godforsaken armpit Nigeria and not back home in Ghinea. I looked for Accra on a map of Rhodesia and couldn't find it anywhere. Is it near Upper Volta?
Sincerely,
Larry Flynt |
Quote: |
Date: Mon, 10 Oct 2005 09:49:55 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert
Subject: Blessings of the season!
To: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Jewel!
Blessings of the season to you! I must apologize to you as I did to your son for not writing sooner. You see, I caught a nasty virus this weekend that gave me a condition called "The Hershey Squirts" here in America. Well, I'm much better now, even after losing 10 pounds the hard way!
I wrote to your son, but I don't know if he will answer. I heard on the news that there is no electricity in Nigeria, so he may not be able to get my email. I am really concerned that you do not enjoy the missionary position with your son. Are there other positions there in Ghinea that he could assume?
I would like to travel to Chad to meet you and your son if at all possible. I sure hope Kate Moss doesn't get arrested. That whole situation has me worried sick, since she wouldn't last three minutes in the slammer before becoming the supermodel prison bitch for the whole cell block. Personally, I hope they throw the goddamned book at Boy George. He is as guilty as sin.
Thank you so much for the pictures of yourself! You must be very famous in Ghinea to be pictured in a magazine like that! Which magazine was it? It sure wasn't one of mine, I can tell you that! May I ask how old you are? Like I might have said before, I am a widower, whose late wife Althea died in a horrific bathing-lady accident. I don't like to talk about it much though. I'm very sensitive.
Can't wait to hear back from you soonest!
Larry Flynt . |
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_________________ Banks I have hit in the groin with oranges... x1; Lads on safari
Thanks Mr Larry, I dont need any kind of monkey. -Jurgen Sterk
...and moreover the name is Wesley Harry and not Hairy Weasel. -Barrister/Bannister Curtis Davis
Odium. Fallacia. Perfidia. |
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Larry Flynt
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 03 Jan 2005
Posts: 521
Location: microwaving all the Peeps in your Easter basket
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Posted:
Tue Oct 11, 2005 6:42 pm |
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More Song-O silliness!
Quote: |
Date: Tue, 11 Oct 2005 02:49:56 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: Same Blessings of the season to you!
To:
Hi Larry Flynt,lts pathetic to hear these story now,be strong as a man.Get well l pray for you.lt will be nice time to have you in Africa.l proposed the visit should be in Ghana,Accra.At most we use the occasion to sign for the release of the money from deposit there.Our country,Sierra Loene l WOULD NOT advise you to visit for now because of violence.Myself,l will soon relocate to Ghana,Accra because there is very peaceful.lf you can arrive Ghana,Accra within a short possible time,you let me know in your next mail to me.l will love meeting and we can discuss more about ourself.lam a widow,l told you before.Make sure you speak on telephone with my son,Daniel incase he has not received your mail to finalise.Please do send me your pictures.Talk to you soon.Best Regard,Mrs Jewel Songo. |
Did she just call me pathetic?
Quote: |
From: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]>
To:
Subject: RE: I'm back!
Date: Tue, 11 Oct 2005 11:30:26 +0100
Dear Mr Fynt,lam very sorry to hear about your illness.Thanks be to God
that
your well.l was disturbed when we did not hear from you.We are natives
of
Sierra Loene NOT Ghinea.At Ghana,Accra we have deposit of money there
with
safe company.l do not appreciate my stay here in Africa,l want these
project
complete soon so that l come to pursue my education oversea.These are
the
details l want from you to be able to transfer the money to your
nominated
account in USA.i.e(a)Name and address of bank(b)Account name(your
complete
names on the account)(c)Account numbers(d)Routing number or sort code.l
want
you to give me a phone call at your convenience time today
unfailingly.Regards,Daniel |
Quote: |
Date: Tue, 11 Oct 2005 10:18:10 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert
Subject: Let's meet!
To: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Jewel!
I am fascinated by the chance to fly to Accne, Ghana and meet you and your son in person! I've always heard that Sierra Coast was a nice place. I didn't realize that it had gotten bad over the years. I'm pretty intimidating, a lot like Vin Diesel, so street thugs like to move on to easier targets like Gary Coleman. Even in a wheelchair, I am schooled in the martial art of Gimp-Fu and can kick serious ass. Plus, most Africans are skin and bones anyway. Their protruding bellies and stick-like extremities are no match for my beatdown skillz.
When shall we meet in Accne? I have Porn-Con '05 in Las Vegas next weekend, but I am free anytime after that. Are there any good restaurants or tittie bars there in Ghana?
Talk to you very soon, dearest Jewel!
Larry Flynt |
Quote: |
Date: Tue, 11 Oct 2005 11:35:58 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert
Subject: Your information!
To: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Dan Song-O!
Blessings of the season to you! I am feeling much better, and I do believe my illness has finally gone away. Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm sorry, but I thought that I had sent you the account information. If you need the bank address, it is 666 John Wayne Gacy Boulevard, Chingatumadre California 90210. My account manager is Mr. Jar Jar Binks (I think he's Jewish, so don't mention Pauly Shore!). Also, what is a "sort code"? I have never heard of such a modality.
Your mother said that Sierra Loon was a violent place. Sorry to hear that it has gone downhill so badly. It sounds like the neighborhood I grew up in after the Canadians started to move in with their drugs and gangs. You also said that you want to get an education oversea? Did you have any country in particular in mind? The University of Guatemala has one hell of a football team. Sorry I can't call, but my phone is a GE product and gets really, really hot when using it. Its almost painful to touch. I'm having a technician come out later to look at it before it burns down my house.
Sincerely,
Larry Flynt |
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_________________ Banks I have hit in the groin with oranges... x1; Lads on safari
Thanks Mr Larry, I dont need any kind of monkey. -Jurgen Sterk
...and moreover the name is Wesley Harry and not Hairy Weasel. -Barrister/Bannister Curtis Davis
Odium. Fallacia. Perfidia. |
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Larry Flynt
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 03 Jan 2005
Posts: 521
Location: microwaving all the Peeps in your Easter basket
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Posted:
Wed Oct 12, 2005 7:55 pm |
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The wacky hijinx continue!
Quote: |
From: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
To:
Subject: Write out the following information one by one clearly.
Date: Wed, 12 Oct 2005 10:07:02 +0100
Dear Mr Flynt,
Please clearly state the details as follows,
1(a)Name of bank-----------------------------------------------
(b)Address of bank:666 John Wayne Gacy Boulevard, Chingatumadre
California
90210.
(c)Account name--------------------------------------------------
(d)Account numbers--------------------------------------------
(e)Routing numbers:-------------------------
(f)Account manager:-----------------------
(.2)Your mailing address:---------------------.
Please informed me if your nominated account is "Private or company
account"?.
Note any mistake can hinder the sucessful transfer of the funds to
you.Write
out the above information one by one.
Advice me what time to call you tommorrow on telephone for discussion.
Regards,Daniel songo. |
Quote: |
Date: Wed, 12 Oct 2005 02:43:27 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: Fixed a date.
To:
Hi Dear Larry Flynt,
Thanks so much for accepting to visit Accra,Ghana
so that we can meet in person.ln Sierra Loene like i said is not all that condusive because of political unstability.l believe the situation is coming under control soon.l confirmed we meet in Accra,Ghana after your programme Porn-Con '05 in Las Vegas next weekend,so come up with a date in your next mail when you can come down to Accra,Ghana so that myself and Daniel can prepare also to arrive on the same death you will give me.REMEMBER TO SEND YOUR PICTURE TO ME BY ATTACHEMENT in your reply mail.Let me bring to your notice that Ghana is a tourist country with great potentials.They have international first class resturants and hotels.All what you will need will be available l assured you.l look forward to meet with you soon.Best Regard,Mrs Jewel Songo. |
She wants to see my picture. Is there romance in the air? or is that just the chili and onions I had last night?
Quote: |
Date: Wed, 12 Oct 2005 12:26:28 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert
Subject: Please clarify!
To: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]>
Daniel!
Blessings of the season-o! I got your email, but I am a little confused. Do you want me to print it out and fill it in? If so, should I mail it or use email? Remember, nobody in the industrialized world uses faxes anymore. I heard on the news that all the electricity went out in Nigeria. Is that true?
Thanks for your help,
Larry Flynt |
Quote: |
Date: Wed, 12 Oct 2005 12:46:03 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt" View Contact Details Add Mobile Alert
Subject: I fixed my date!
To: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Jewel SongO!
I'm thinking that I might book a flight to Accne on October 22. That would work for me, since my job has gotten even more demanding now that the fluffers are on strike. Sometimes I wish we had the African political process where leaders are chosen via bloody coup. Oh well, we have to use the hand we're dealt I suppose. I'm having dinner with Asia Carrera and Ginger Lynn tonight, so maybe those two ladies can lighten up my mood. We're having bearded clams! Yummy!
Oh yeah, and since you wanted my picture, I have sent you several. The first is me at my desk, getting interviewed for Parade Magazine. The second is me at a benefit for the Dana Plato Charitable Trust a couple of months ago.
I sure hope that your son can get out of Nigeria and to Accne right away. There was a special on TV last night about the growing cannibalism problem in Nigeria. Hopefully he hasn't been affected yet.
Much love,
Larry |
|
_________________ Banks I have hit in the groin with oranges... x1; Lads on safari
Thanks Mr Larry, I dont need any kind of monkey. -Jurgen Sterk
...and moreover the name is Wesley Harry and not Hairy Weasel. -Barrister/Bannister Curtis Davis
Odium. Fallacia. Perfidia. |
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teddythewonderlizard
Master Baiter
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 207
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Posted:
Wed Oct 12, 2005 8:25 pm |
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I am appalled that Larry has forgotten his roots; his should be having dinner with the Grand Dame herself, Marilyn "Ninety Nine And Forty Four One-Hundredths Percent Pure" Chambers. |
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Big Slick
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 12 Aug 2005
Posts: 48
Location: USA
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Posted:
Fri Oct 14, 2005 6:51 pm |
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Quote: |
come up with a date in your next mail when you can come down to Accra,Ghana so that myself and Daniel can prepare also to arrive on the same death you will give me |
same "death"? |
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Larry Flynt
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 03 Jan 2005
Posts: 521
Location: microwaving all the Peeps in your Easter basket
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Posted:
Mon Oct 17, 2005 4:24 pm |
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The Song-O family is turning into pure comedic baiting gold!
Quote: |
From: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
To:
Subject: RE: Please clarify!
Date: Thu, 13 Oct 2005 17:45:23 +0100
Dear Mr Larry flynt, Mr Do not print out,l was writing out in that way
for
you to understand exactly how i want the information clearly
stated.Please
do type the information and send through email to me.Regard,Daniel
Songo |
Quote: |
Date: Fri, 14 Oct 2005 02:05:17 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
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Subject: The oct 22 date is okay.
To:
Hi Dear,Thanks for your pictures.The oct 22,i think is okay.My son will seek for temporary leave at mission to be able to arrive Accra.l have this morning summit my travelling document for renewal so that l can be there to meet with you.Please note,the information is that,Daniel as at yesterday was in touch with our attorney in Accra.He request him to contact the safe company on our behalf and get details of condition for the release of the funds.This is very important to know before our arrival in Accra so that we can get the necessary needed doc. ready and on our visit,we get the funds release and transfered to your designated account in USA.lam sure Daniel will brief you on hearing from the attorney.You will also inform me in your next mail about your Visa to Accra( i hope you find out the Visa procedure) and your flight schedule when you picked up your ticket.He is fine.See you soon.One love.Jewel Songo. |
One love? One heart? Let's get together and feel alright???
For all you noobs... please pay attention. You will notice that Daniel Song-O wants me to call him. Please observe the myriad of (weak-ass) excuses that I will use to try his patience. I have no intention of calling him, but he must not ever think that.
Quote: |
From: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
To:
Subject: pls send the information as stated in my previous email.
Date: Fri, 14 Oct 2005 13:40:32 +0100
Dear Mr Larry Flynt,
Goodmorning sir.Please advise me your private telephone numbers and
time to
call you and talk with you on telephone.There is electricity in
Nigeria.Have
a great day,while waiting for the complete information of your
nominated
account as i state in my previous mail.The telephone to reach me
is+2348027866431 at your convenience.Regards,Daniel |
Curiously enough, his phone number found its way into a mass bait (cf, the work of Ergot and KingMage) along with an accusation that the recipient's mother has fellatiated members of the Yoruba tribe so extensively that it causes her gastric upset. I think that I may have also thrown in a sentence about my desire to sodomize the recipient's orbital fossae, but I don't remember right now. The ensuing calls on his phone may well come as a surprise to him.
Quote: |
Date: Mon, 17 Oct 2005 08:20:37 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: Re: I fixed my date!
To:
Hi Dear Larry,l hope my mail meet you well.l do hope you have a pleasant weekend.It just l could not wait for your reply.How are you today?.l pause to read from you.Please talk to my son Daniel On telephone.Your Love,Jewel Songo. |
Wow! Sounds like Jewel's got a fever, and the only cure is a Fystful Of Flynt! (hereafter, FOF).
Quote: |
Date: Mon, 17 Oct 2005 08:52:52 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Wonderful news!
To: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Jewel Song-O!
I have wonderful news, my dear! After the wild success of PornCon 05 this weekend, Larry Flynt Publishing is going to branch out into the music business! Some of the older record executives may complain that mp3 and iTunes downloads are flogging the pony of record executives, but I say its time to start thinking outside the box! In between snorting lines off of Tiffany Minx's thighs, we signed these fanatastic new bands!
Joyce was a relative unknown from Des Moines until her Barry White covers showed off what a barely contained hot blooded pleasure hound she really is. This woman can belt out the hottest version of "Baby Got Back" and Liz Phair's "Supernova" that I have ever heard. Don't let the orthodontist receptionist look fool you; Joyce's look and singing ensure that there won't be a dry lap in the house!
I just have to come out and say it. Orleans is as gay as an Easter basket. Not even Rock Hudson gay either; we're talking Freddie Mercury gay here. Not that there's anything wrong with that! Jewel, I'm very open minded, and I can celebrate all the colors of the homo rainbow, but I must admit that their last album cover makes me uncomfortable. Anyway, they appeal to that demographic, and quite frankly, money doesn't care where you put your win-wang.
The real jewel on our crown (no pun intended, my love!) is Devastatin' Dave! My talent scouts have told me that this "hip-hop" thing is big. Like Monkees "big"! And hip-hop is all about attitude. Just check out Devastatin' Dave's attitude! They way he points at you so brazenly, those "don't fuck with me or I'll drop da bomb on your ass" sunglasses and the bad-asssssss leather pants are going to be my one-way ticket straight to the top of American urban culture! I even heard that this guy has a lightning bolt earring. That is diggity-dope.
Well, Jewel, I have to go online now to get my flight booked for Accne. I have printed out your picture and have it framed on my desk at work! I tried to call your son earlier, but whoever answered the phone only spoke French. I might have dialed the wrong number, because, to be honest, it can be hard to dial after a five day tweak bender.
Talk to you later, my love!
Larry Flynt |
"Gee Larry, where did you get those album covers?" I hear you ask. (That's right, douche-bag! I can hear you through your monitor! Moo-Ha-Ha-Ha!!!) Check this hilarity out: http://porktornado.diaryland.com/albumcover.html
Quote: |
Date: Mon, 17 Oct 2005 09:07:03 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: here is the information as stated in your previous email.
To: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Daniel Song-O!
I tried to call you this weekend, but whoever answered the phone only spoke French, or it might have been Upper Voltan. Of course, I may have dialed the wrong number. The GE technician said he would have to send my phone to the factory for repairs. I swear I am never buying another goddamned GE product as long as I draw breath on this earth and you shouldn't either.
As I told your mother, PornCon 05 this weekend was an absolute success. My company, Larry Flynt Publishing, is going to be branching out into the music industry in a big way. Any capital you might have to invest in LFP would be really appreciated.
I know you want my account information, so here it is: *DELETED* National Bank, the account number is 687468465, and my account manager is Mr. Jar Jar Binks (I think he's Muslim, so don't mention Babe, Gordy or Porky!). The bank is at 666 John Wayne Gacy Boulevard, Chingatumadre California, 90210.
Do you have a DVD player? I finally say Beaches last night and cried and cried. What a wonderful movie, although it could have been better with more rimming.
Blessings of the season!
Larry Flynt |
|
_________________ Banks I have hit in the groin with oranges... x1; Lads on safari
Thanks Mr Larry, I dont need any kind of monkey. -Jurgen Sterk
...and moreover the name is Wesley Harry and not Hairy Weasel. -Barrister/Bannister Curtis Davis
Odium. Fallacia. Perfidia. |
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KingMage
419Eater is my life
Joined: 12 Aug 2005
Posts: 326
|
Posted:
Mon Oct 17, 2005 4:51 pm |
|
Beautiful work Larry. and i would *NEVER* include his number in my mass insult modality...that would just plain be mean :]
Oh, and everytime i see 666 john wayne gacy address, i bust up laughing :] pure genious :] |
_________________ "Bloody pro-obasanjo monkey." - Mr.Desmond Paul
"GOD BLESS YOU LIFE TAKER" - ky mohamed
"WHAT A BRILLIANT FOOL YOU ARE..." - DAVID COLEMAN
"GOD BLESS U FOR USING MAD WORDS AGAINST ME" - ROCHAS EGO
"DIE, DIE DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AMEN AMEN AMEN. COMFIRMED." - MR. RAZIM HARUNA
"ook you boisterous and foolish yoruba man,stop contacting me" - Dr Richard
"Keep it up and God will surely strike you one day if you continue to send people this ugly something." - Mr. FBI
"YOU ARE A STARK ILLITERATE, EDUCATED BY A HE-GOAT WITH GOAT SHIT. " - Gregory Chin
"YOU CANT EVEN SPEACH NIC ENGLISH" - Peter Leo |
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KCKC
Not quite a Newb
Joined: 29 Sep 2005
Posts: 48
Location: Illinois
|
Posted:
Wed Oct 19, 2005 2:23 pm |
|
OMG!!!...Larry, your email exchanges have me rolling on the floor in tears!!!!!...It's amazing how stupid these thieves are!!! |
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Larry Flynt
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 03 Jan 2005
Posts: 521
Location: microwaving all the Peeps in your Easter basket
|
Posted:
Wed Oct 19, 2005 5:05 pm |
|
Note to self: when trying to book flights to Africa, use Orbitz and not Yahoo. Despite the weird-ass creepy Orbitz commercials with the marionettes in the blimp, the site didn't have a seizure when I tried to arrange my "schedule."
Quote: |
Date: Tue, 18 Oct 2005 04:56:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
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Subject: Re: Wonderful news!
To:
My Dear Larry,Thanks for those wonderful pictures.Yes,its true music business is a big game business in the world and we are happy to be partners and associate with it.My Dear,have you find out Tourist Visa procedure to arrive Ghana,Accra?.Let me know if you have gotten your Tourist visa to Accra and have your booked your flight?.Did you heard from Daniel about the latest developnment?,its very important, try calling him again so that you can talk with him.Let me hear from you soon my dear and looking forward to meeting with you soon.My travelling papers renewal is on process.Happy new week love.Jewel Songo. |
Daniel is a greedy little shit. Not only does he want me to bring him a suitcase full of cash, but he wants me to buy him a DVD player and a couple of wristwatches. Gee, Daniel... what you like? Phillipe Patek? Rolex? or MyFootUpYourAss?
Quote: |
From: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
To:
Subject: Information.
Date: Tue, 18 Oct 2005 13:43:28 +0100
Dear Larry Flynt,
Well received your mail and your account details noted.
These is what i wanted,but the information is not complete, what is
your
routing numbers?.ls this account a company account?
lam sure your dailled a wrong numbers.
My mobile telephone is 0023427866431.
What is your mobile telephone numbers?.
Please urgently get one incase you do not have it and forward the
numbers to
me.
We will invest a reasonable amount in LFP.
INFORMATION:Our financial consultant in Europe who was working for the
release of the deposit funds $11million in Europe inform me that the
holding
bank in Europe want us to produce the following documents i.e.Social
screening certificate and Drug/terrorist certificate before they could
transfer the money to your nominated account.This papers we do not have
now.
These is inview of rampant terrorist and drugs activities in the world
today.
They want this money to have a clean bill.
This funds has been withhold pending when we summit the papers before
the
release and transfer to your account.
Base on this,our attorney in Accra has told us to get this paper work
on a
short notice,since we don�t have already we may spent between $60,000
to
$100,000 to procure them and fax to them to release the money to you.
The problem is that for now,we do not have that cash money for the
paper
work so we opted to retrieve the $9million first deposited in a safe
keeping
company in Ghana,Accra.
The money was deposited in a safe luggage in the company as "PERSONAL
EFFECT" belonging to a foreign partner with deposit code and
certificate.
Our attorney has been to the safe company today for details for the
release
of the safe luggage containing the cash funds $9million to you on your
arrival in Accra as our foreign partner.
Once he gave me details for the release,l will definately get back to
you.
Our great meeting in Accra,Ghana will be appreciated,these is the
occasion
we are realising $8.7million out of $9million to be retrieve from the
safe
company to you,while we keep back $300,000,so that we can use part to
procure those needed document in Europe and forward to the bank for the
release of the $11million and we will transfer as well to you.
However,of these total amount to be given to you,15% is your take home
as
our investment manager/ sponsor,2% set aside for expenses incase there
is
any.
The balance 83% of the total amount will be invested in LFP.
I have no DVD player here in the mission,please do buy a good one for
me on
your coming and buy two good wrist watch for me and my mother and any
other
good stuff,we will pay for it on your coming.
Please send your direct mobile telephone numbers to me for effective
communication.
Once again,my telephone numbers are +2348027866431,please talk to me on
telephone.
Have a greatday and God bless us.
Once the attorney reach back to me with details,l will inform you.
Regards,Daniel. |
Once again, his phone number is +2348027866431. Don't let it fall into the wrong hands!
Quote: |
From: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
To:
Subject: Condition for the release of the safe luggage containing the cash funds.
Date: Wed, 19 Oct 2005 10:19:48 +0100
Dear Larry Flynt,
Goodmorning.
l have these morning received email from our attorney in Accra,Ghana.He
has
been to the safe company and these is the conditions for the release of
the
safe deposit luggage.
They safe company needs certificate of deposit,affidavit of
claims,power of
attorney to the beneficiary,Administrative charges/clearing fee of
$20,780.
We have the certificate of deposit,affidavit of claims and power of
attorney,the attorney will put up those paper work on our arrival and
take
to court for stamp duty and seal.These administrative charges/clearing
charges accrued from last year 25th ,january 2004 when the fees paid
by my
late father expire, the safe company do not know the content of the
luggage
to be cash funds but rather "PERSONAL EFFECT" belonging to a foreign
partner.
Once we have these needed paper work and funds we will clear the
luggage and
retrieve the cash and handover the amount $8.7million to you and have
the
balance $300,000 as earlier stated on our visit to Accra.
Please we will only need your assistance to come down with these needed
administrative charges/clearing fees($20,780) to help us pay to the
safe
keeping company and retrieve the luggage containing the money for the
investment in LFP.
Whatever your expenses,i.e,travelling expenses,logistics,funds paid for
the
release will be paid back to you from the 2% expenses set aside on
retrieving the safe luggage containing the funds.
l requested your mobil telephone,please do not forget to include in
your
reply.God bless us.Untill l hear from you.
Regards,Daniel |
Quote: |
Date: Wed, 19 Oct 2005 05:15:25 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book Add Mobile Alert
Yahoo! DomainKeys has confirmed that this message was sent by yahoo.com. Learn more
Subject: i need your help to settle thier dues.
To:
Dearest Larry Flynt, My warm greetings to you.Please have my son told you information from the attorney on report from the company condition for release of the deposit?.Please-o dear i need your support to clear this bill for us to be able to received back the safe containing the money.My financial standing for now is poor as we need to have this money to be able to take care of ourself.What is the situation with your visa and flight schedule?.l could not wait for your responds,please come to our rescue.Remember your my all and all.l need your assistance love-o to pay help thier dues and have our safe deposit when coming to Accra.l love you dear.l wait your urgent reply to my request.Your love,Jewel Songo |
Quote: |
Date: Wed, 19 Oct 2005 09:42:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: My itinerary!
To: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Jewel Song-O:
Here is my flight schedule for arriving in Accne!
Leave
Fri, Oct 21 Northwest Airlines 8602
operated by KLM -- KL 0602
Depart:
4:10pm
Arrive:
11:40am Los Angeles, CA (LAX)
Amsterdam, Netherlands (AMS)
1 stop
Economy
10hr 30min
Boeing 747
Change Airline. Time between flights: 2hr 40min
KLM 589
Depart:
2:20pm
Arrive:
7:00pm Amsterdam, Netherlands (AMS)
Accra, Ghana (ACC)
Economy
6hr 40min
Boeing Douglas MD-11
Total duration: 19hr 50min
This is an overnight flight.
Return
Mon, Oct 24 British Airways 78
Depart:
10:35pm
Arrive:
6:35am Accra, Ghana (ACC)
London, United Kingdom (LHR)
1 stop
Economy
7hr 0min
Boeing 767
Change Airline. Time between flights: 5hr 25min
Virgin Atlantic 7
Depart:
12:00pm
Arrive:
3:10pm London, United Kingdom (LHR)
Los Angeles, CA (LAX)
Economy
11hr 10min
Boeing 747
Total duration: 23hr 35min
This is an overnight flight.
Just think, Jewel. Soon you will be in my loving arms, and your son can get out of the missionary position. He did ask me to bring him a DVD player and some watches. At first, I was hesitant, but then I figured it was the least I could do for my future step-son! As far as the tourist visa goes, I had one of my lackeys visit the Ghanian consulate this past weekend. His name is Gary Busey, and he is very adroit in the ways of getting people in and out of third-world cesspools. So don't you worry about a thing, Jewel! Its not like I'm going to be swallowing condoms filled with black tar heroin or anything! I've been down that road a few too many times in my life. Are you going to be picking me up from the airport, or will it be your son? I looks like I'll be arriving in time for dinner. I sure hope they have Applebee's in Accne, because I could sure use their all-you-can-eat chicken tartare platter after such a long flight. Don't worry about the "fees" that the bank might charge for your dead husband's money. I'm one hell of a negotiator.
Love,
Larry Flynt |
Its time for Daniel to realize that his family dynamic is about to include a crippled pornographer!
Quote: |
Date: Wed, 19 Oct 2005 09:55:42 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Don't worry about a thing!
To: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]>
Daniel!
Blessings of the season to you! Well, I have my flight to Accne booked, and I will be at the airport at 7pm on KLM flight 589.
You know, it occurs to me that I have no idea what you look like. If you pick me up at the airport, how will I know it is really you? I have heard that cannibals frequently impersonate taxi drivers in Africa, and take unsuspecting white people out to the middle of nowhere and sacrifice them to their monkey gods. Maybe that just happens in Nigeria, but I sure don't want it happening to me!
Therefore, I must ask that you send me a picture of yourself, holding a sign that says "MOTHER DISAPPROVES OF THE MISSIONARY POSITION" That way, I will really know that it is you who will be picking me up. Normally, I wouldn't ask for the sign, but I am worried that Jerry Fallwell (I call him Fartwell) might know about our business arrangement and do something to screw it all up. Fartwell has it in for me, and would love nothing more than to see me turned into Cream of Flynt soup in some cannibal's pot out in the jungle. So please send me the picture of you holding the sign just as soon as you can.
Also, I will happily bring you a DVD player! I figure it is the least I can do for my future stepson! That's right, Daniel! Its no secret around the offices of LFP that I am smitten with your mother. Who know? This trip might lead to something really magical for me! And best of all, you get to start calling me "daddy!" What brand of DVD player do you like? Sohorny and Anus are very popular in the United States. I would really recommend not getting a GE product. They still haven't fixed my phone, and say that they have to ship it back to the factory in Guatemala. Quite an inconvenience, but at least we still have email to chat back and forth with!
Your (soon to be) daddy,
Larry Flynt |
|
_________________ Banks I have hit in the groin with oranges... x1; Lads on safari
Thanks Mr Larry, I dont need any kind of monkey. -Jurgen Sterk
...and moreover the name is Wesley Harry and not Hairy Weasel. -Barrister/Bannister Curtis Davis
Odium. Fallacia. Perfidia. |
|
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nadnerb
419Eater is my life
Joined: 09 Mar 2005
Posts: 395
Location: East Jesusburg
|
Posted:
Fri Oct 21, 2005 5:01 am |
|
Funny stuff, mang... you are one of the unsung masters of baiting. |
_________________ x8
"fuck your ass fuck all your family in the name of dead, have happy bad day soon..."
-Amechi Ebere
"LET ME WARND YOU FOR THE LAST TIME DONNOT EVER TAKE FOR A JUCK OK I AM A GOVERNOR OF CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA"
-Prof. Charles Soludo
"i bet you're conceived from a monkey-style pregnancy. go ahead and prove that you're a product of rape...a product of collective virused sperm poured in to your mom's stinking ass by hoodlums. "
-thesolicitors
"...my mother is undergoing enormous stress and high blood pressure caused by Overthinking..."
-Ibrahim Bongani |
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Larry Flynt
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 03 Jan 2005
Posts: 521
Location: microwaving all the Peeps in your Easter basket
|
Posted:
Mon Oct 24, 2005 5:57 pm |
|
Thank you, nadnerb!
Well, as you can imagine, the "flight to ghana" didn't quite work out as planned.
Quote: |
Date: Wed, 19 Oct 2005 11:29:51 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: My itinerary!
To:
Dearest Flynt my love,
Thanks for your flight schedule.My international passport renewal will be concluded before weekend and i will fly to meet with you.I quite believe Daniel will arrange well on how to received you at the airport.Please try to come with thier charges $20,750 cash for us to pay to the safe keeping company and retrive our luggage and you have your money back instanly from the 2% expenses.We do not need any negotiation,you will give the attorney the money to pay to them sign all necessary papers and we received our safe deposit.You see,the Safe keeping company do not know the content of the luggage to be money and we cannot now disclose to them because that was not what was declared.So we have to keep that to ourself.Thats is only known to us and our attorney.Every arrangement for sucessful withdrawel have been put in place.Please call my son and talk with him on telephone before your departure.Wishing you a pleasant and save flight to Accra.See you soon,honey.l love you.Jewel Songo |
Quote: |
From: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]>
To:
Subject: please read and answer my question included in the mail.
Date: Thu, 20 Oct 2005 12:56:54 +0100
Dear Daddy Fynt,
lam so please receiving me as one of your step son.
I am equally so happy for granting my request to bring a DVD player for
me,but ls "horny and Anus" a brand of DVD player?.
Anyway,we are worried about the fees as the company will not allow us
sign
for the release if all thier conditions are not made,remember the safe
company knows the content to be "PERSONAL EFFECT".
We cannot at this point disclose to them,so all what we need do is to
come
up with the paper work,pay thier charges,retrieve the safe luggage
confirmed
the content and go.
lf the know the content,they may raise eyebrow.After receiving the
money
our attorney,Mr Collins Kofi(telephone +233244839286) can assist us
transfer
to your nominated account or alternatively,you can go back with cash
money.
Dear Daddy,God has join us together, to avoid delay or slow down please
come
down with thier needed fees cash $20,750 to pay and we get our
luggage.So
that you can make your journey back as schedule.
The attorney incase i arrived late will take up the responsibilty to
picked
you from the airport.He will come with your name boldly written on a
paper.But incase of any lapses,just locate a good hotel close to the
airport
and book in your self and give me details and i will picked you up from
there.l strongly recommend that you picked up a phone call card on your
arrival and call the attorney or even a pay phone boot at the airport.
Have you booked a hotel reservation? what the name of the
hotel?.lncase you
have note,Mr Collins Kofi can suggest good hotels and you make your
choice.please On arrival,do note have any time to discuss anything
about the
transaction with anybody,you know my father was popular,we all have to
keep
secret of the transaction to ourself,be very reserve.
Your a Tourist,coming to see the rich potential of Ghana and meeting
with
your wife to be and your step son"No much details.I want to let you
know
that Ghana is very very peaceful,unlike Nigeria and Sierra Loene.
For sure you will appreciate your stay in Accra.
l have not been granted leave as yet here in the mission,but for sure
tommorrow my request will be granted and i start coming immediately to
meet
with you.
Make sure you call the attorney telephone to speak with him before your
departure and on your arrival,very very important.We have to talk with
you
and be acquanted with you.
lt will not be nice for me to have this sign "MOTHER DISAPPROVES OF THE
MISSIONARY POSITION" remember Ghana is majority christians,ITS BETTER
TO
HAVE YOUR NAME BOLDLY WRITTEN FOR YOU TO BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY OR
ALTERNATIVELY ON ARRIVAL BOOKED YOURSELF IN TO ANY NEARBY HOTEL AT THE
AIRPORT AND I OR THE ATTORNEY,MR COLLINS KOFI WILL PICKED YOU FROM
THERE.lf
you could discribe your WEAR you will wear, it will be helpful also for
identification and let us know if your coming with your wheel chair for
identification too.
Once your in Accra and booked a hotel, always check your mails at
interval
for information.You can as well picked up a mobile telephone there on
arrival for easy communication.
Specifically state exact day or date of your arrival in Accra in your
next
mail to me or call.
Untill i hear from you.l need us to talk on telephone today
unfailingly,not
necesarry calling from your phone,you can use a pay phone or call from
a
business centre.Chatting on "yahoo messenger" is equally good,we can
discuss
find.
Your son,Daniel. |
Quote: |
Date: Thu, 20 Oct 2005 09:45:47 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: My itinerary!
To:
My love,
l do believe your fine.l could not wait to hear from you.Which hotel are you going to stay in Accra?.Please inform me my dear.Your arriving Accra on saturday or sunday? please confirmed.Always be checking your mails in this fews days from time to time for information and try to write back.lam overjoyous meeting with you soon.You have filled that gap in my life time again.Write fast reply.l wait.
Your love,JEWEL SONGO |
I bet he/she/it is just salivating at the prospect of a crippled westerner with a suitcase full of money.
Quote: |
Date: Fri, 21 Oct 2005 16:39:56 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Re: My itinerary!
To: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Jewel:
As is clearly seen on my itinerary, I will be arriving
tomorrow at 7pm in Accne. I thought I would be staying
with you. Gotta run, my flight is almost here.
Larry |
Jewel didn't like being stood up.
Quote: |
Date: Mon, 24 Oct 2005 03:46:48 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: My itinerary!
To: [email protected]
Dearest Larry,lts a pity you have no two leg,to be able to satisfy me.No point to come,l would not be there for you.check your size.MrsJewel. |
Quote: |
Date: Mon, 24 Oct 2005 10:49:22 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: What is this?
To: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Jewel:
This has been the most miserable weekend of my life. As I'm sure you figured out, I never made it to Accne on Saturday as I thought. Currently, I am stuck in Lagos, trying to get a flight out of this godforsaken country and back to civilization. There are women with burqas in the airport constantly in my face yelling "you buy chicken! is good chicken!!" while holding dead sparrows five inches away from my face. That is the only English they know, becuase the rest of the time they are running around yelling "durka durka jihad" or some shit like that. It is revolting.
KLM tried to send me to Accne, but they were going to route my bags through Chad or maybe Rhodesia. I was told that the customs agent wanted to look through my bags very carefully, to make sure that I wasn't smuggling that most titillating of all cocaines... the CRACK cocaine! Well, he didn't find any crack, but he did show the platinum vibrator I bought for you to the entire security detail. What a farce. The only good part is that I was able to slip him $200 and get a full cavity search. Then I found out that my usually reliable side-kick, Gary Busey, didn't get me a visa for Ghana at all, but for Nigeria. I was told that I would be able to hire a car and head to Ghana, but a 12-year old with a bunch of grenades with a diesel Mercedes with three bald tires manufactured sometime in the Jurassic period was the only one who would offer to take me anywhere.
Lagos isn't pretty either. At least my hotel is somewhat nice. I'm at the Sofitel Lagos Moorhouse Ikoyi, near Victoria Island. But let me tell you, if I can get a flight out of Nigeria, I am taking it. Currently, I am in some internet cafe typing all this to you. The owner of the cafe has a catchy nickname for me too; he likes to call me "Mugu" and says it means "learned man of great virility". Apparently it has really caught on, since lots of people call me "mugu", even though we haven't been introduced yet. thank God nobody suspects that I have a suitcase with $25,000 in it back in my hotel room. I think the people in this town would murder you and sodomize your dead body for a pair of nail clippers.
Jewel, I am really puzzled. Your last email seems like you are not interested in me and that you think I can't perform. Jewel, I have an implant that allows me to function fully as a man, despite my handi-capable status. In fact, you might even say that I am "ribbed for your pleasure!" I know you must be upset that I never arrived in Accne, but as you can see, I didn't ask for any of this to happen. And what the hell do you mean, "check your size"? My American nickname is "Tripod".
Maybe when I get back to the USA, I can figure out a way to send you and your son the money in a risky-free fashion. For the life of me though, I don't know what that is, and right now my only concern is getting back to a city where baboons don't defecate in the streets.
Say a prayer for me, Jewel!
Larry |
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_________________ Banks I have hit in the groin with oranges... x1; Lads on safari
Thanks Mr Larry, I dont need any kind of monkey. -Jurgen Sterk
...and moreover the name is Wesley Harry and not Hairy Weasel. -Barrister/Bannister Curtis Davis
Odium. Fallacia. Perfidia. |
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Larry Flynt
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 03 Jan 2005
Posts: 521
Location: microwaving all the Peeps in your Easter basket
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Posted:
Wed Oct 26, 2005 4:17 pm |
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I have a feeling that there is a disturbance in the force. I think the incestuous Songo family is on the verge of twigging. The end may be coming very soon, and I can guaren-fucking-tee you that it won't be pretty.
Jewel likes my new nickname!
Quote: |
Date: Mon, 24 Oct 2005 11:15:12 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: What is this?
To:
Dearest Mugu,Thanks,Meet me at Abuja Sheraton Hotel & Towers tonight . The prestigious NICON Hilton Abuja is located in the central business district of Abuja.Sorry my son has left already to Accra and he is fyling tomorrow to meet you in USA.He has gotten US visa.He will be in US on tuesday night atmost.He has gotten the money from Anus and sohorny bank.Thanks.see you late.Mrs Jewel Songo |
Oh shit! Better act quick!
Quote: |
Date: Mon, 24 Oct 2005 11:31:43 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Fantastic News!
To: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Jewel:
I got a flight out of Lagos to London that is leaving in about an hour! I am free!
Much love,
Larry |
Quote: |
Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2005 08:58:43 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: I'm confused!
To: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Jewel-O!
I got this email after I arrived in London. I am currently now back home in beautiful Chingatumadre California. My African experience was a clusterfuck from the word go. Not only did I never get to Accne to consumate our relationship with hot sweaty monkey love, but I had to bribe every official in customs to keep them from looking through my suitcase full of cash.
What do you mean the "Sohorny and Anus" Bank? Those are brands of DVD players, not a bank! Are you sure you haven't been bitten by a monkey, because that is the kind of crazy talk that I expect from someone who may have been bitten by a monkey. I shall pray for you and your lazy eye.
I am glad to hear that Daniel is coming to America! There are so many wonderful things to do here, and many wonderful business ventures that we could do together! Thank god he could get out of the missionary position long enough to book a flight to America! I shall contact him soon!
Lots of love,
Larry Flynt |
It has been my experience when baiting that innocently using the word "boy" in the sense of "Oh, boy!" enrages the lads because they think you are using the word in the racistly patronizing vernacular of bigots living in the southern US. That being the case, I think Daniel might get a touch snippy with "daddy" here.
Quote: |
Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2005 09:09:07 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Welcome to America!
To: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]>
Hey Boy!
I am so glad to hear that you have made it to America! Where in America are you staying? I recommend the Nikki Hilton, although Motel 6 will leave the light on for you! We should meet and get this transaction going! As I'm sure your mother told you that my African "adventure" was the biggest buttfuckathon ever. I am never going to Africa again; between the humidity and the ebola, I don't see how anybody could live there. There wasn't even a Panda Express at the airport, which really pissed me off. After a long plane flight, nothing is more rewarding than a big steaming plate of hoo flung poo with a little bit of sum yung guy on the side. Daniel, I sure don't blame you for what happened in Africa, but I can't help but to think that things would have gone a lot smoother if you had just sent me a picture of yourself in the missionary position instead of some hired lackey to pick me up from the airport. But hey, live and learn! Am I right?
Anyway, I have a new mobile phone that is a reliable Motorhola. You can call me at 206-495-6510 anytime. I still have that suitcase full of cash, having resisted the temptation to purchase crack cocaine with it. Aren't you proud of daddy for saying "no" to crack, boy?
Let's get together! Your loving daddy,
Larry Flynt |
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_________________ Banks I have hit in the groin with oranges... x1; Lads on safari
Thanks Mr Larry, I dont need any kind of monkey. -Jurgen Sterk
...and moreover the name is Wesley Harry and not Hairy Weasel. -Barrister/Bannister Curtis Davis
Odium. Fallacia. Perfidia. |
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Larry Flynt
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 03 Jan 2005
Posts: 521
Location: microwaving all the Peeps in your Easter basket
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Posted:
Wed Oct 26, 2005 8:52 pm |
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Jewel is acting almost rude.
Quote: |
Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2005 10:08:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: I'm confused!
To:
lam in Abuja sharaton hotel towers uptill today and i was expecting to see you come around.l saw one white criple aged man on wheel chair,l know that was you.JEWEL |
Quote: |
Date: Wed, 26 Oct 2005 13:49:25 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Re: I'm confused!
To: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Jewel-O!
That probably was me. Why didn't you come up to say "hi" or at least offer me a handjob? Also, I take offense to the term "cripple." I would much rather you say that I was handi-capable!
Are you going to get a visa and come to America too? That would be so super! Maybe you could enjoy the missionary position with your son here in the US!
Lots of Love,
Larry Flynt |
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_________________ Banks I have hit in the groin with oranges... x1; Lads on safari
Thanks Mr Larry, I dont need any kind of monkey. -Jurgen Sterk
...and moreover the name is Wesley Harry and not Hairy Weasel. -Barrister/Bannister Curtis Davis
Odium. Fallacia. Perfidia. |
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Larry Flynt
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 03 Jan 2005
Posts: 521
Location: microwaving all the Peeps in your Easter basket
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Posted:
Thu Oct 27, 2005 3:32 pm |
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Jewel is really losing patience with me. Can you blame her?
Quote: |
Date: Thu, 27 Oct 2005 04:38:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: I'm confused!
To:
DO NOT BE CONFUSED.MEET HIM AT THE BELOW ADDRESS.
My son arraived US safely.He is in California.He is at James town,california national hotel.Reach him on tel:800-894-3412 He says he had meet a new investment manager.He is no longer interested in doing business with you again.Do no write or reply my mails again.Untill l come to USA TO MEET YOU--O. |
That number that you're not supposed to call is 800-894-3412 so for God's sake, so a little fucking restraint for change, will you?
Larry is feeling jilted.
Quote: |
Date: Thu, 27 Oct 2005 07:58:49 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Is the magic over?
To: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Jewel-O!
Blessings of the season to you! I am delighted to know that your son has safely arrived in America. Where is this Jamestown National Hotel? Does it have an address? I'd love to visit your son, but I wonder why he wants a new investment partner. Didn't I mention that I am the publisher of Barely Legal and Hustler? I am very smart in business, even if I do have troubles in Africa. Personally, I blame Gary Busey for that whole fiasco circle jerk buttfuck in Africa.
Sugartits, why don't you want me you write you? This was a most unexpected turn in our relationship that I was in not expecting. Its not like I would expect you to change my colostomy bag on the first date or something. Why don't you call me mugu anymore? Is the magic gone, Jewel? Say it isn't so!
Pining for you!
Larry |
From my experience in mass baits, scammers find the professions of truck pushers and washers of corpses to be distasteful. I can't imagine why.
Quote: |
Date: Thu, 27 Oct 2005 08:15:29 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Lets meet at the national hotel!
To: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]>
Dearest Daniel!
I am so pleased that you have arrived safely in America! Are you enjoying your stay in Jamestown, California? Your mother told me that you were staying at the National Hotel in Jamestown, and I think that is super. Northern California must be a nice change from your missionary work of washing dead peasants, pushing trucks and having to fight off baboons with ebola.
I still have your Sohorny DVD player that I bought for you. Its a little banged up from the trip to Africa, but it still plays my copies of Yentl and Gigli. Have you ever seen Gigli? That would be a great father son bonding experience for us. J-Lo is da bomb! Your mother gave me the phone number to call you on, but I think I may have lost it. Did you try my new mobile phone? Its a Motorhola!
Daniel, I hate to say this, but I am worried about your mother. She seems to be rebuffing my romantic advances. Seriously, your mama is ragging big-time, and I don't find that to be very sexy at all. You need to have a talk with her if this family is going to work. I would hate to have to beat her with an extention cord like I did Althea (don't worry- Althea always knew to say "bathing-lady" if I was getting too rough. That was our safety word!).
Daniel, I still have no idea what you look like. I can only imagine that a rural northern california bed and breakfast has many Sierra Leone refugees staying there, and I certainly can't be expected to tell you all apart. Please send me a picture of you!
Can't wait to get our modalities going, boy!
Larry Flynt |
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_________________ Banks I have hit in the groin with oranges... x1; Lads on safari
Thanks Mr Larry, I dont need any kind of monkey. -Jurgen Sterk
...and moreover the name is Wesley Harry and not Hairy Weasel. -Barrister/Bannister Curtis Davis
Odium. Fallacia. Perfidia. |
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Happy Camper
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 23 Oct 2005
Posts: 79
Location: An unrealisitcly large room in a sewer
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Posted:
Thu Oct 27, 2005 4:04 pm |
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LMAO! Hahahaha. These people really are gullible. Maybe you should tell them that if they say gullible slowly it sounds like pineapple? |
_________________ What is the average child's pain threshold?
My Answer: 14 days
Peter Smith's Take on Child care |
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GeorgeBush
419Eater is my life
Joined: 05 May 2004
Posts: 378
Location: Texas
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Posted:
Fri Oct 28, 2005 5:55 am |
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Larry,
I am happy when I get a couple of humorous exchanges in a bait. With your baits, all the exchanges are rip-roaring hilarious. Great work as always, thanks for sharing this stuff! |
_________________ "YOUR PROBLEM IS THAT YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO ACT ACCORDING TO INSTRUCTION. WHAT I SAY IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT YOU ARE ASKING FOR."
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Larry Flynt
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 03 Jan 2005
Posts: 521
Location: microwaving all the Peeps in your Easter basket
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Posted:
Fri Oct 28, 2005 4:54 pm |
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Its official. Jewel-O and Dan-O have had enough-O. Unfortunately for them, I'm just getting warmed up!
Quote: |
Date: Thu, 27 Oct 2005 13:37:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Let's talk it over
To: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Jewel-O!
Why are you so mad at me? Let's talk it over. What we have is too special to lose!
Larry |
Quote: |
From: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]>
Subject: RE: Lets meet at the national hotel!
Date: Fri, 28 Oct 2005 10:02:53 +0100
DO NOT WRITE TO ME AGAIN.IAM NO LONGER INTERESETED IN CORRESPONDING
WITH YOU
ANY LONGER.GOOD TO KNOW ABOUT YOU. |
I'm thinking this next letter might piss him off.
Quote: |
Date: Fri, 28 Oct 2005 09:48:32 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: My dearest Jewel-O!
To: "jewel songo" <[email protected]>
Jewel-O
I'm so glad I was able to email you today! I tried to get a hold of your son, but he said that he wasn't interested in the transaction anymore! Isn't that just insane? He is passing up the chance of a lifetime if you're asking me!
Fortunately I think I was able to find a picture of Daniel (my future son! Isn't that exciting!) on the internet! Is this him? I can see the family resembelance!
Love,
Larry |
Quote: |
Date: Fri, 28 Oct 2005 09:59:39 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Larry Flynt"
Subject: Look here, fuckface
To: "Daniel Songo" <[email protected]>
Blessings of the season to you, Daniel!
Look boy, don't you ever take that fucking tone of voice with me again you sack of monkey shit. You think you can handle the beatdown I will give your sorry ass, you limp dick motherfucker? That's right, bitch! I'm going to hire some old-school motherfuckers to come curb your ass. That's where you get down and bite the curb, motherfucker. Then I stomp on the back of your head and you have no fucking teeth or jaw left. Got it?
Now that we have things straight, I still want to meet you for our mutally beneficial transaction. I still have that suitcase full of money, boy. Of course, since you piss me off, you will have to dance for it and sing "I love to lick mommy's pussy" while I shoot paintballs at your face. Think you can handle that, little boy?
Sincerely,
Larry Flynt |
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_________________ Banks I have hit in the groin with oranges... x1; Lads on safari
Thanks Mr Larry, I dont need any kind of monkey. -Jurgen Sterk
...and moreover the name is Wesley Harry and not Hairy Weasel. -Barrister/Bannister Curtis Davis
Odium. Fallacia. Perfidia. |
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Chief2B
419Eater is my life
Joined: 11 Apr 2005
Posts: 365
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Posted:
Mon Oct 31, 2005 12:50 am |
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Always enjoy Larry's baits, they are classics. I can't believe that they are going to let you have the last word in this tho. Hopefully you will get a fire breathing, blue ribbon winning death threat out of this one!! |
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Nurse Nasty
Baiting Guru
Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Posts: 7251
Location: Australia, where a dingo stole my eski
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Posted:
Tue Nov 01, 2005 6:48 am |
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Woody
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 17 Sep 2005
Posts: 10
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Posted:
Fri Nov 04, 2005 3:53 am |
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great read as always, thanks Larry. |
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Larry Flynt
*** BANNED ***
Joined: 03 Jan 2005
Posts: 521
Location: microwaving all the Peeps in your Easter basket
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Posted:
Fri Nov 04, 2005 3:00 pm |
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So sad, but despite repeated taunts, I have not heard back from Jewel or Daniel. I'm thinking this one is over! As always, fun while it lasted! |
_________________ Banks I have hit in the groin with oranges... x1; Lads on safari
Thanks Mr Larry, I dont need any kind of monkey. -Jurgen Sterk
...and moreover the name is Wesley Harry and not Hairy Weasel. -Barrister/Bannister Curtis Davis
Odium. Fallacia. Perfidia. |
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