ouch! gets burned, the for-ex modality... in progress

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Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 5:41 pm

i recieved a message from ouch in a shuttle account. i moved the convo to a baiter account and this is what transpired.

Quote:

Dear Sir,

How are you doing? Hope you are very fine. Sir I have been sending you mutiple of mails seeking for your assistant, but no response. Even the last mail I sent to you I ask you to help me with any amount you can send for me, but I haven't heared from you. Please sir, help me I need your help so much sir.

I will be expecting your response.

Ouch

he sent a few of these...

i reply...

Quote:

who do i send it to?

the instructions...

Quote:

Dear Sir,

I got your mail today and am very happy for the content were well writen sir. Please you can send the money to this address;

NAME: ANTHONY IWUJI CHUKWUDI

ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA

TEXT QUESTION: GOD BLESS

TEXT ANSWER: ABUNDANTLY

Sir I will be very happy to receive the control number and god will surely bless you for your goodness.

Have a nice time.

Ouch

me...

Quote:

I have sent the money to you,$250 usd. use it wisely.

control number

4596827191

he gets alil pissed...

Quote:

Dear Sir,

I haver believe that you can do such thing to me. You told me that you sent me $250 usd, but when I tracked the number you gave me online I didn't see any thing there. Sir Why do you want to treat me like this? Please just do this for me I will appreciate you so much sir.

Am still expecting the right control number Sir.

i reply... with a slap....

Quote:

I'm a girl you dumb mugu. so stop calling me sir.
and i transfered using For-ex. you must go to the bank

I even called him a mugu and he didn't even flinch...
he apologizes...

Quote:

Dear Nicole,

I was thinking you are a guy not knowing you are a girl, am sorry for the misunderstanding. So what bank do you transfer where I can get the money in Lagos Nigeria here.

Please am still waiting coz your assistant is needed urgently by me.

Have a sweet time Nicole.

i love for-ex!
Smile

Quote:

You can go to any Bank and say the following to them

" i am here to retrieve a Forex account cash transfer.
the name on the account is nicole richie
account # 455467EERT1
THEN GIVE THEM THE TRANSACTION NUMBER I GAVE YOU BEFORE.
they will ask the amount of the transfer, and you tell them its 250usd.

Nic.

Quote:

Dear Nicole,

I went to two banks here in Nigeria, they told me they don't operate such transfer here. That was why i told you to send it through western union or money gram that is the only place where I can get that money any thing apart from western union or money gram, no way to get money through over-see. So consider what am saying. Remember here is not united states that have been already developed.

I wait your response.

Ouch

now the set up...

Quote:

Ouch,

you may be required to travel to another town, where are you right now?

Nic.

he dey say...

Quote:

Dear Nic,

I am in Lagos, Lagos State IN Nigeria. So please tell me how it could be wolked out

you'll be doing alot of "wolking" soon ouch....

Quote:

you may have to travel to delta state. visit the National bank there. I have confirmed that they do Forex account retrievals. please do this as soon as possible. they will lock the funds after 7 days.

Nic.

aww.... poor ouch...

Quote:

Dear Nicole,

You know from Lagos state to delta state is far some how. But I will run around to see if I can fine some money to travel there. You mean if I get there in any National Bank I can get the fund; again I should give your name, your account number, I will also give them the transaction number. okey i will try to do that. But is this Forex not in the internet where I can track this money I believe that truely this fund has been transfered really by you, coz I will not want what happened tome last time do again, when you said you send me the fund through western union and I went there what I got was insultand humiliation!

I waityour response.

and i faithfully response....

Quote:

Ouch,

listen, i know you are a struggling student i would never do anytihng to jeopordize your education. you may go to any national bank in delta state to claim the fund, using the procedure you outlined in your last email. Forex, is an international method of sending money, more secure then western union, it is 100% risky free. they do not allow the tracking of cash, as the transfer is instant. there is no tracking required. if you follow my instructions you shall be able recieve the money, without any problems. please inform me once you have recieved the funds.

Nicole.

thats it for now! we'll see what happens....

*** BANNED *** Joined: 27 Jul 2005 Posts: 77

He will screw it up. My man Ouchie is the dumbest most pathetic lads I have ever come across. He really needs to get a barrister to help him with money transfers because he clearly cannot handle it himself. He likes filling in forms, though. It takes him forever.

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 3:10 am

Wait a second... Ouchster tried to secure the funds WITHOUT the required paperwork?

Well, duh!!! Of course they humiliated and insulted him- he didn't do the paperwork.

*** BANNED *** Joined: 27 Jul 2005 Posts: 77

Great. The little peckerwood must be running all over Nigeria when he should be home getting a trophy pic made for one of my characters.

One thing I have noticed about him is that he has trouble with more than one task at a time. When he is hot and heavy with one character, the others hear nothing from him until he gets slapped and put in time out for a while.

I think this is one guy that we may have a chance of teaching that crime does not pay. He is so bad at scamming and is being baited by so many folks he may just give up when he runs out of cash for the cybercafe.

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 5:18 pm

well i got a reply from ouch...

Quote:

Dear Nic,

I got your mail. I was foturnate to see a friend's brother who works in one of the branches of National Bank in Delta state. This guy told me that they don't do such transfer there. I have told you before that the only way to receive money from over-see is through western union or money gram. Please if you really wanna help me, just send this money through one of this transfer.

Please I am expecting the control number

so i dunno what to do now... any ideas?

Master Baiter Joined: 16 Aug 2005 Posts: 132

Do as he asks. Send him on a safari. Or two. Or ten.

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 8:31 pm

the thing is he is smart enough to check the control number online... what else can i do???

*** BANNED *** Joined: 27 Jul 2005 Posts: 77

First slap him for lying to you. Tell him you called the bank in a rage after you got his note because it is so important to get the money to him and they said they do accept forex. Either he is lying or his friend is an idiot. If it is a real bank, send a fake email using the banks domain from an officer of the bank explaining that they use the system in that state. My guess is that he really can't afford or borrow the money for a big safari--he is just too bad a scammer--and he clearly does not have an oga or friend.

If you want to go the WU route, there are many good WU and moneygram forms that need to be filled out first throughout the site that you can send him. There are also lots of MTCN delay/mistake gambits. You can just make one up, drop a digit. When he complains say you made a mistake but don't have the receipt or something. Ouch would also be likely to fall for a fake lad introduced here who steals the WUXFER.

I just hope he uses this free time wisely. He owes one of my characters a form and one a pic.

Posted: Wed Sep 28, 2005 10:24 pm

@oba... thx,

i will definitely bust his shrivelled little bollocks (calling all brits! did i use this in correctly???) for this one.

hahaha! here come the forms...

Master Baiter Joined: 16 Aug 2005 Posts: 132

By the way, Moneygram (IIRC) does not have a way to check their numbers online... See if you can get him to do that. Then he'll have to go on safari.

Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 5:02 pm

poor ouch. hes gonna have to go to moneygram....

Quote:

Dear Nic,

Well I got your mail today. But what I want to let you know is this, how do you think I will make fool of you when you are trying to help me. I really apprecite it, but it is not my fault because it is very difficuilt for me to get the money with out going through western union or money gram. Please am sorry if inhave said any wrong word, but am just telling you what is been done here in my country, you know Nigeria is not that developed like your country, especially where i stay. So Nic please if you really wanna help me just send this money to me through western union where it can be easy for me to get.

I will be expecting your urgent response.

ouch

Posted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 5:34 pm

I loved the reference to the new money transfer system "ForEx"

I think I might use the new system just launced today "ForPlay"

For the benifit of our younger readers ...go and ask your parents

*** BANNED *** Joined: 27 Jul 2005 Posts: 77

I got this email from Ouch as he is running up against the deadline to send me his completed immigration form. The little guy cracks me up. Perhaps the import of the job description: servicing Mr. Gold is starting to dawn on him.

Quote:

Dear Sir,

I am very sorry for delaying the form since all this while. reason is this, I wanted to be very sure of what I am going to the United States to do. The form has been already filled ready to be send to you, but there are somethings I would like to know from you because some good friend have been telling that in United states they do pratice homosexual. And I would like you to answer this questions I will ask before I send the form accross.

Sir, If I come over to the United States, would you take good care of me? Knowing that I am an orfan.
Sir, do you pratice Homosexual? Because I wouldn't like to live with such person. Sir I am very sorry if I sound rude. Coz i want to know the kind of person I would live with, for I have not known you yet Sir.

I am waiting for the answer of my questions and response to my mail.

Have a nice time.

Ouch

My reply--we'll see if he will twig:

Quote:

Ouch, my little boo boo,

I almost didn't bother to reply to your email but since you have one
hour to send me the form, I will give you one last chance.

Of course I will take very good care of you. I knew you are a young
orphan from your first letter and promised to take very good care of
you as I am a very tender and caring man.

You asked if I practiced homosexuality. Frankly, I am surprised that
it is such a big issue for you, given your difficult circumstances in
your country. But, let me assure you Ouch, I don't need to practice. I am a Gamer. Practicing is only for those who don't know what they are doing. Losers practice; Gamers play.

Now, Ouch, my little twinkie. Send the form. The deadline approaches fast.

Ari Gold

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