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 Dr. Macauly Ofurhie

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jefe_grandoso
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 2:41 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Meet the "Honourable" Dr. Macauly Ofurhie. Rolling Eyes He and his collegues need your help. what they really need is a hole in the head

Initial contact to my "Friends" computer:

From: "Dr. Macauly Ofurhie" <[email protected]>
Subject: Please Respond
Date: Fri, 16 Sep 2005 14:56:26 +0000


From:Dr.Macauly Ofurhie
7 Kofo Abayomi Street,
Victoria Island,
Lagos.


Greetings to you,
I would like to firstly send to you the best wishes of good health and success in your pursuits particularly through my proposal as contained in this letter.

Before going into details of my proposal to you, I must first implore you to treat with the utmost confidentiality as this is required for its success and to have faith in this transaction, for opportunities like this only comes to one once in a life time.
My colleagues and I are senior officials of the Federal Government of my country's Contracts Review Panel (CRP) who are interested in diverting some funds that are presently floating in the accounts of the Apex Bank of my country. In order to commence this transaction, we solicit for your assistance to enable us transfer into your nominated account the said floating funds.

The source of the funds are as follows: During the last military regime in my country, government officials set up companies and awarded themselves contracts that were grossly over-invoiced in various ministries and parastatals. The present civilian government set up the Contract Review Panel, which has the mandate to use the instruments of payments made available to it by the decree setting up the panel, to review these contracts and if necessary pay those who are being owed outstanding amounts.

My colleagues and I have identified quite a huge sum of these funds, which are presently floating in our (Apex) Central Bank, ready for disbursement and would like to divert some of it for our own purposes.
However, by virtue of our positions as civil servants and members of this panel, we cannot acquire these funds in our names or in the names of companies that are based in my country. I have therefore been mandated, as a matter of trust by my colleagues in the panel, to look for a reliable overseas partner into whose account we can transfer the sum of U.S.$20,500,000.00 (Twenty million, five hundred thousand U.S. dollars). That is why I am seeking your assistance. We have agreed to share the money to be transferred into your account, if you agree with our proposition as follows;

(i) 25% to the account owner (you).
(ii) 65% for us (the panel officials).
(iii) 10% to be used in settling all expenses (by both
you and us) incidental to the actualization of this project.

We wish to invest our share of the proceeds of this project in foreign stock markets and other viable business till we are ready and able to have access to them without raising any eyebrows here at home. Please note that this transaction is 100% safe and risk-free.

We intend to effect the transfer within fourteen (14) banking days from the date of receipt of the following information. Your company's name, address, telephone and fax numbers; we will use your company?s name to apply for the payment and backdate the award of the contract in favour of your company. We are looking forward to doing this transaction with you and we solicit for your utmost confidentiality in this transaction.

I will bring you into a more detailed picture of this transaction when I hear from you.
You can send your telephone number, fax number for easy access to communicate.


Best regards,
Dr.Macauly Ofurhie
-------------------------------------- Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy ----------------------------------

So of course you want to help them.
____________
1st Contact
----------------
Date: Tue, 20 Sep 2005 00:19:56 -0700 (PDT)
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Your proposal
To: "Dr.Macauly Ofurhie" <[email protected]>


Dr.Macauly Ofurhie

Greetings,

Would very much like to learn of your proposition.

I have several international business interests and may be of some help to you and your collegues.

My company interantionale is Global Idiom Savant,
I am unable to communicate via voice as I have not the ability to speak nor hear.
My main means of communication are email, and fax. Unless my assistant is present to translate, and as you have requested confidentiality it would be unwise to have my assistant involved at this time.

You may email me at [email protected] or if you prefer you may fax the details to me at Omy.fax.mail

I look forward to your favourable reply,

Sincerely,
Rene Magandang Baboy
Global Idiom Savant
__________________________________________________

If I could figure out how to embedd an audio player you could listen to the voice mail, yes voice mail, and asked me to give him a call Notice I asked him not to do voice just fax or email because I cannot speak nor hear.

134403"5146559046".WAV (110k) Phone number is in the quotes.

If you would like to give him a call the caller-id is 514-655-9046 tried the ol' reverse lookup but it resolves to Micro Cell in Quebec, Canada not Lagos. So maybe this could be his cell phone, or more likely a "net-tel" but why not help him get the most for his money and give him a call, and as you American's say, say "Howdy"

So I Smacked him, not yet ready to Slapp him in to next week. But did let him know I was displeased.
_______________
2nd Contact
---------------------
Date: Thu, 22 Sep 2005 17:49:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: [email protected]
Subject: Trust and Confidentiality
To: "Dr.Macauly Ofurhie" <[email protected]>


Dr.Macauly Ofurhie,

It was my understanding that you wanted utmost confidentiality.

Yet, when I come into the office my assistant greets me with the translation of your message, I have told you that I can neither speak nor hear, so your message was recieved and translated by my assistant, of whom I did not wish to have involved in these matters.

Now if you are unable, or unwilling, to communicate with me only by email and/or fax, then I am afraid that I cannot be of some assistance to you and your collegues.

The choice is yours, but anymore voice translations from you or your collegues and no deals. Email or fax only or no deal.

Rene Magandang Baboy
Email: [email protected]
Fax: Omy.fax.mail

-----------------------
Guess he can't really fax or use the email, or maybe I did !SLAPPED! him instead of Smacking him.

O well, maybe someday he'll pick himself up off the floor and try again.

Feel free to use his email address and cell phone to slapp him around.

Mabuhay!! ---In ingles: Long Life my friend!! actually has several meanings...depends on it use in the sentence Fink&Wiggle defines it: n. Long Life, v. to live Cool
jefe_grandoso
Guest






PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 5:43 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Razz Geeze didn't mean to smack him that hard Very Happy

Let's see if we can revive the good doctor

Quote:
Date: Fri, 23 Sep 2005 22:28:10 -0700 (PDT)
From: [email protected]
Subject: Your proposal
To: "Dr.Macauly Ofurhie" <[email protected]>


Dr. Macauly Ofurhie,

Greetings my friend, are you doing well?

I appologize if my last email seemed harsh and pointed, I intended to stress the fact that I no longer have the ability to speak or hear due to an industrial accident at one of my factories in Mexico City, Mexico some years ago. So now I must communicate by email, fax when conducting matters of utmost confidentiality untill such time I determine that my assistant can be trusted in translating verbal communicae.

Untill I further understand your proposition, I would dare not involve my assistant as I have great risk to my many business ventures. I do hope you understand this, it is not that I do not wish to speak with you -it is that I am physically unable to.

I am interested in assisting you and your collegues if I am able to, so please email or fax me the details. My assistant has no access to my email and no access to the my fax. If you send a fax it will come directly to me, have no worry.

Hope you are doing well and have a very enjoyable weekend.

Looking forward to your reply,

Sincerely,

Rene Magandang Baboy
Global Idiom Savant
My faxmail Fax
[email protected] personal email



Calling Dr. Ofurhie, Calling Dr. Ofurhie, Please report to the scam room - You have a message waiting Twisted Evil

Twisted Evil Hope that smack didn't give him a ceberal hemorage ....NOT!
jefe_grandoso
Guest






PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 6:14 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Need some good Nigerian insults
My mugu apparently don't like me anymore cause I won't call him.
Too cheap P550 on calling card. Rolling Eyes

And if anyone needs a half-way decent HateMail generator, BlueSwami is not badhttp://www.blueswami.com/cms/index.php?id=85
jefe_grandoso
Guest






PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2005 6:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Twisted Evil But in the mean time let's see if he's still alive and easily insulted.
Quote:
Subject: Urgent Need YOUR Prompt Attention!
To: "Dr.Macauly Ofurhie" <[email protected]>
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="0-984669201-1128019318=:83278"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Content-Length: 1125


I shudder to write this name; this pox, this word from hell, this utterence this Dr. Macauly Ofurhie. You squat-brained mentally challenged puffball. You are so nauseatingly dim you probably haven't the least idea why I have been moved to vent my feelings, however, delicately, concerning your snivelling existence. I have seen yeasts with more pizzazz, more culture, and a better understanding of the world around them than you will ever possess. Given a choice of stepping in something nasty on the sidewalk, or bidding you good morning, I would happily choose the former. You are a surgeon's dream: spineless, gutless and with an interchangeable posterior and head. I have seen you walking along a footpath, one of your horribly fascinating activities. You count the cement squares don't you. You even on occasion try and avoid standing on the cracks. A thought for you is something which is randomly sucked into the vacuous depths of your cranium, and there left to rot and atrophy. Rabid ferrets have more social grace than you. If you were to remember the first time your mother set eyes upon you and the first words she ever spoke at you, you would find remarkable similarities. You red-eyed snottling germ-bag. Bulimics should know about you. They could then dispense with the food altogether. May all the evils, poxes, pestilences, plagues, woes, travails, miseries and calamities of the world rain down upon your undeserving, snot-snogged self.

And Good Day to you!
Rene
jefe_grandoso
Guest






PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2005 2:39 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, maybe he is just lonesome and need some love Twisted Evil
Quote:

My most desirous Dr. Macauly Ofurhie.

You are my peanut butter. Crunchy on the outside, but smooth within. Let us eat! Let us consume, lick, slurp, suck and chew.

And after dinner, who knows? Heave with me, my Vegemite. Why tarry when pleasure awaits. Come, let us strip ourselves of tiresome inhibitions.

Your tauntingly teasing titbits trouble my tortured tailings. You are my chip my little sausage. You are saucy, hot, crisp on the oustide but nice and steamy within.

My nib is numb from these outpourings. It lies limp and inkless. I shall cut another! To bed! To bed! There is sinning to be had! I can write no more; my slobber has stained the page my sizzling pie.

I await your pastries.


Suggested insults and or confessions of dying/undying love for the "Good" Dr. are always welcome and will included in future mailings. I just know he would be glad to hear from you Twisted Evil
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