Another 30 day time waster

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Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 7:16 am

One of hundreds from EK's shuttle. I don't have the original and so have him respond
to my "private" email. Short version...

Quote:

Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2005 11:51:59 +0200 (CEST)
From: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>
Subject: HAVE YOU ACCEPTED THE OFFER ?

DEAR Vincent Price,

I KNOW MY LETTER WILL COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE,BUT DO NOT
WORRY,I GOT YOUR CONTACT THROUGH DIVINE DIRECTION ...

MY NAME IS MR. MICHAEL MAXWELL.I AM DIRECTOR OF AUDITING AND
ACCOUNTING UNIT DEPT HERE IN ABIDJAN COTE D'IVOIRE...

...A HUGE SUM OF MONEY US$16.2.MILLION...
...THIS OUR CLIENT DIED WITH HIS WIFE AND THEIR TWO CHILDRENS...
...PLEASE YOU HAVE BEEN ADVISED TO KEEP TOP SECRET...

Early slap in caps, just for fun. So many mugus, who cares if I lose him?

Quote:

Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2005 21:48:43 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR Michael,

IT IS SURPRISING FOR YOU TO SUGGEST THIS IS DIVINE
DIRECTION WHEN IN FACT YOUR POOR SOUL IS BLINDED BY
GREED. PLEASE ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS AND I WILL PRAY
FOR YOUR SOUL. YOU MUST TURN THE MONEY OVER AS IT
CANNOT STAY IN YOUR POSITION.

I BELIEVE I CAN HELP YOU DESPITE YOUR LACK OF MORALS.

VINCENT

Another long rehash, modified to prevent boredom from setting in too early...

Quote:

Date: Tue, 19 Jul 2005 18:52:20 +0200 (CEST)
Subject: these are the details thank you.

Dear VINCENT,

...Now I and my two partners have accepted to doing the transaction with you without
another party to hear it because we are working in this bank and we don't want you to
mention My name to anybody so that the memeber of this bank will not know that it is a
deal or I past the information about the money to you.

Honestly, we could have done this transaction within ourself but we are not allowed to
use foreign account, so we now contacting you for the deal as next of kin to late
Engineer CHRISTIAN EICH MASON...

Mr Michael Maxwell.

Early on, I don't want to waste much time or effort in creating responses.
I just say whatever pops into my head, and don't worry about it.

Quote:

Date: Tue, 19 Jul 2005 19:39:04 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Michael,

Are you certain this is legal? It sounds a bit dodgy,
and there is no honor among thieves.

Vincent

Ah, the "reassurance" email...

Quote:

Dear Vincent,

I have received your mail.Please remove the spirit
of doubt.this is 100%legal and real.I contacted you
over this issued and I am working in this bank.So
please believed me so that it will work out very fine.

This is not thief but it is an opportiunty because
depositor who made the deposit is death with his
family for past many years which nobody have come to
ley claim of the money before we contacted you to
stard as the next of kin to Eng C .E Mason.because
if the broad of directory of this bank discover the
money they will sit on it then, because on body is
operat the account any more.so I want you reason
while we want to move the money into your
account.honestly, I due to we are not allowed to
operate a foreign account , we could have done the
deal by my ourself without contacted you.

Now, I want you to send your bank account details to
me so that I will submit to the bank through our
application form which I will fill by myself and
submit it to the bank to enable the bank contact you
for transferring of the money into your account As
next of kin to ENG. C.E Mason.All I want you should
make sure everything about deal are intact with
you.Or may I send the form to you so that you fill
it and send it to the bank direct through their
email address.

Once again, Please in time of expenses, it is the
area you will assist me most because I am a poor
civil service .this is the reason while I don't want
to mis this opportunity .But I assure you that at
the end of this transactiion both of us will enjoy
it.No matter the area you may invest your share.I
will use my position as one of the working in this
bank to monitor everything situation till you
confirmed the money into your account and ask us to
come over for the shhareing of the money according
to how we agreed on it.And on no account you will
mention my name to any of the staff to avoid them
not to suspcet me so that I will not have problem
with the bank.

Get back to me .

Thanks and GOD bless .

Best Regards.
Mr Michael Maxwell.

He was the "director of auditing and accounting", but now he is just a "poor civil
service". I let it slide, because I am not really paying attention!

Quote:

Dear Michael,

My name as you know is Dr Vincent Price. My address
is 13 Haunted Hill, Phibes, Usher. I am a retired
actor, age 61, widowed. My bank is Bank of the
Macabre in Usher. My phone number is private. I do
not own a fax as I find them the most annoying
contrivance in the modern world.

At your service,
Vincent

Standard reply by me, but I failed to answer his exact questions.

Quote:

Date: Thu, 21 Jul 2005 11:01:58 +0200 (CEST)
Subject: your information is very important.

Dear Vincent,

Thanks for your response and full inttoduction with your year and home address.But
this is not actually I need from you.the information I need from you is your bank
account details so that I will fill the form by myself and submit it to the as next
of kin to late ENG.C.E.MASON to enable the bank contact you for the transfer .

EG:the name of your bank with the fully address of your bank.
your bank account number.
your bank swift code .
your bank tel and fax number.
Your private phone unmber .

These are the needed information then I will tell you how to follow the bank
instruction so that everything will work out fine.please it is very ipmortant if you
can send it across to me today bewteen today and tomorrow I will submit it.

Once again,You knew that I am working in this bank.On no account you will mention my
name to bank so that the official will not suspect me.And in area of expenses please
I will like you to assist me most because I am poor civil service that is one of the
reason while I don't want to mis this opportunity. know you will reason with me.And I
will assure you onething, I will use my position in this bank to monitor everything
till you confirmed the money into your account and ask us to come over for shareing
according the agreement.Pleaes not expose me and do not betray me when finally the
money get into your account.

I awaiting for your immedite reply.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr.M.Maxwell

I use the bogus "details" of some other scammer.

Quote:

Date: Thu, 21 Jul 2005 21:53:58 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Dear Maxwell,

The SWIFT code is PSTBNL21, and the account number is
9556304. If you need it, the IBAN is
NL90PSTB0009556304.

Please be careful with this information and do not
give it to anyone.

Vincent

I only answer once per day, so any nonsense on his part is a 24-hour penalty.

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Fri Jul 22 05:49:13 2005
Subject: Your immediate confirmation.

Dear Dr. Vincent,

Thanks for your response and the information you sent to me .I promised that I will not
discolse it to any body.

Please reconfirmed the details to so that I will submit it to the bank by tomorrow
through the form.

Yours bank: BANK OF MACABRE IN USHER.
YOUR ACCOUNT:9556304
YOUR ACCOUNT NAME:DR VINCENT PRICE
YOUR SWIFT CODE:PSTBNL21
YOUR PRIVATE PHONE NUMBER IS NOT INCLUDE AS YOU SAID THAT YOU DON'T FAX LINE OKAY.

THE ADDRESS IS IT YOUR BANK OR YOUR HOUSE ADDRESS BECAUSE YOUR BANK ADDRESS IS VERY
IMPORTANT.

Please confirm this mail to me today so that I will not make any mistake intime of
filling the form so that the bank will contact you by monday.

I awaiting your immediate confirmation.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr. Michael Maxwell

I'm not too serious about this one, so I send some more nonsense.

Quote:

Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2005 18:03:36 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Michael,

My address:
Dr Vincent Price
13 Haunted Hill
Phibes, Usher

Bank address:
Bank of Macabre
66 6th St
Hades, Usher

Yep, they really don't read it...

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Sat Jul 23 06:02:05 2005
Subject: Thank you so much

Dear Vincent.

Your mail have been received .Thank you so much for your reconfirmatiom your informatiomn
details to me.As I told, I will make sure that the form will fill today and submit it
today so that by monday the bank may contact you for the transaction.But why do you
refused release your private number to me.You know it is very important.

confirm to me as soon as the bank contact you for the transfer and whatever they ask
you do try to get intouch with me so that there will not make any mistake.and on no
account you will mention my name to this bank please because I am still in service
till the transfer take place.

I awaiting for your reply.
Thanks and remain blessed.
Best Regards.
Mr.M.Maxwell

Sometimes I give out a K7 number, and sometimes I am just ornery. This time
I use a number provided by an on-line degree company that just spammed me...

Quote:

Date: Sat, 23 Jul 2005 20:12:24 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Michael,

Let me explain clearly to you. I am hard of hearing,
nearly deaf, and it is very difficult for me to talk
on the phone. But if you need a number, you may try
to contact me at 206-xxx-xxxx.

I swear I will never mention your name again. Thanks
again Michael Maxwell.

Sincerely,
Vincent

This asshat just wants to fill in the blanks to pass me on.

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Mon Jul 25 03:20:04 2005
Subject: Thank you so much for your understanding

Dear Vincent.

Thank you so much for your understanding.I have received your phone number .but you may
tell the bank that they should not call you on phone that you don't like to answering
phone call.I have submited your information to the bank on satruday as I told you .

Please I will like you to contact the bank and ask them whether they receive the the
text of application form you sent to them on satruday.and instruct them to transfer the
money into your account.

I am given you the direct contact of the bank that the remittance office.the name of
is coopecbank Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire.

the contact,Email address: [email protected]
Tel:00225 058 374 97
Fax :00225 056 631 41
The person in charge of foreign remittance department is MR ABRAHAM JOHN.please
contact them today.

I don't know, if you knew my country very well.there is political crisis which have
caused alot of people to death.honestly, last satruday till now we don't have free
movement in my country. every body are afraid now.please contact the bank and tell
them that you want them act fast so that your money will leave the country before the
war will happen again.because the problem may not allowed the bank to contact you today,
if you contact them and inform them of this I hope they will contact you.

please My Dear, I want you to understand one thing again, please in area of expenses
you will assist me most so that everything will workout very fast and easy .please
check www.bbcnews.com or www.cnnnews.com, I hope you will find out what is going on
here and tell the bank to act fast.

I wait for your response.

Thanks and remain blessed.
Best Regards.
Mr.Michael Maxwell.

I want him to work harder...

Quote:

Date: Tue, 26 Jul 2005 20:27:52 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

This sounds too dangerous for me. I am an old man and
this is just too scary, I am sorry.

Ooh, the "bank" is here. It is a different IP...

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Mon Jul 25 10:35:02 2005
Subject: CONFIRM RECEIPT OF THIS IMMEDIATELY

ATTENTION:DR VINCENT PRICE

YOUR TEXT OF APPLICATION FORM HAVE RECEIVED FROM YOU AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO LATE
ENGINEER CHRISTIAN EICH MASON WHO DIED IN PLANE CRASH THAT CRASHED ON 25th JULY,2000.
WE ACKNOWLEDEG RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO HIM.AND WE ARE WILLING TO
TRANSFER HIS FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AFTER GOING THROUGH YOUR TEXT OF APPLICATION FORM,WE HAVE
ACCEPTED TO TRANSFER HIS FUND TO YOUR ACCOUNT AS YOU HAVE REQUESTED FROM US.

YOU ARE ADVISE TO COMMUNICATING WITH US THROUGH THIS DIRECT EMAIL ADDRESS WHICH MR.
ABRAHAM JOHN IS IN CHARGE OF FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT OF THIS BANK, COOPECBANK.

MEANWHILE,YOUR FIRST AND SECOND PANGS OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR ANY NATIONAL
ID CARD MUST SEND TO US TO ENABLE US GRAND YOU THE APPROVAL NOTICE WHICH WILL BE COPY
TO YOU FOR YOUR RECORD PURPOSE.

WE HOPE YOU HAVE ATTORNEY HERE WHO WILL APPEAR IN A HIGH COURT OF JUSTICE HERE TO
SWORN AN AFFIDAVIT OF OAK BEFORE THE APPROVAL NOTICE WILL BE GRANDED TO YOU AS THE
NEXT OF KIN TO LATE ENG.CHRISTAIN EICH MASON.

WE PROMISED TO OFFER YOU THE BEST OF OUR SERVICE TO MAKE SURE THAT EVERYTHING ABOUT
YOUR FUND WILL WORK OUT FINE WITHOUT ANY HITCH OR DELAY INTIME OF TRANSFERRING THE
FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

THANKS.

YOURS FAITHFULLY.

MR ABRAHAM JOHN
DIRECTOR FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT
COOPECBANK ABIDJAN CI.
TEL:00225 058 374 97.

I am so sick of all caps, aren't you?

Quote:

Date: Wed, 27 Jul 2005 21:47:58 -0700 (PDT)
To: "coopec bankabidjan" <[email protected]>

Please sir if I may beg your assistance, my poor eyes
are unable to read a message written such as yours
with all capital letters as it gives me a migraine.

Please be so kind as to resend your mail, this time
using a pleasant mix of upper and lower case
characters.

Thanks,
Vincent

I am surprised that Mikey is staying involved.

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Wed Jul 27 03:42:00 2005
Subject: remove the spirit of fear from your mind.

Dear Dr Vincent,

I have received your mail but I can't understand what you mean that this look very
dangerous while I am working in this bank.please you should not be afraid of anything,
there is nothing dangerous in this issue, I will be given you direction on how to work
it so that within a such time the bank will transfer the money into your account.
Honestly, with your age nobody will think that you are not the next of kin or suspect
you .So I told you before you should remove the spirit of fear from your mind.Have you
contact the bank or did the bank contacted you ? what is the problem ? then tell me so
that I will tell how to follow it.please do not make to loose this opportunity , I am
a poor civil service, Remember if it is dangerous I will never be involve because it
make me to loose my job but because I have washed the situation , if there is anything
problem I will be involve first before you.please tell me the problem.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr.Michael Maxwell.

I often use "medications" as an excuse for erratic behavior. Just setting the table...

Quote:

Date: Wed, 27 Jul 2005 22:11:15 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Dear Michael,

I am sorry, perhaps I am just an old fool, afraid of
his own shadow. Please, let me know what you need
from me, I am stronger now, thanks to my medications.

Vincent

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Thu Jul 28 07:07:52 2005
Subject: remain blessed.

Dear Dr vincent,

Thanks for your response to my mail.please I want to let you that there is nothing to
fear about this transaction honestly because I am insider so I promised to use my
position as a staff in this bank to make sure that everything workout fine.

What ever the bank ask you or demand from you if you can not responde vvery fine get
back to me first so that I will give you the direction on how follow it .

Honestly, with your fully co-operation this fund will confirm into your account with
14 days banking working hours.Please do not disappoint me in anyway to make sure we
gain this opportunity.As I told you I have put everything inorder to make sure the
bank will never find out that this is a deal bewteen two of us.

I awaiting for your response.
Thank and remain blessed.

Best Regards.
Mr.M. Maxwell

Fourteen days! No deadlines for me. Five days later, I answer!

Quote:

Date: Tue, 2 Aug 2005 20:29:10 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Maxwell,

Thanks so much for your kind assurance. Let us proceed.

Vincent

Meanwhile, the "bank" sent this. It's not all caps, but dang it's still hard to read!

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Fri Jul 29 04:34:52 2005
Subject: We Are Working Toward Your Fund Approval

ATTENTION:DR Vincent Price,

Your Mail Have Been Received And Your Content Are Well Notice.

We Are Working Toward Your Fund Approval Notice Which Will Be Copy To You For Record
Purpose .As soon As The Documents Are Available It Will Send To You For Confirmation
Of Your Account To Enable Release Your Fund To Your Immediate Account.

Meanwhile, There Are Some Document Which Going Procure From Differnce Ministries Which
Going Backup Your Fund , It To Proof That Your Fund Is 100% Legal And You Are The Rignt
Beneficiary To Late Eng.Christain E.Mason.So That You Will Never Have Any Problem In
Your Country In Time Of Wihdrawing The Fund From Your Account.

THANKS.

YOURS FAITHFULLY.

MR ABRAHAM JOHN.
Director Foreign Remittance Department
CoopecBank Abidjan CI.
TEL:00225 058 374 97

Having had too much to drink, I amuse myself with the caps-lock key.

Quote:

Date: Tue, 2 Aug 2005 20:44:33 -0700 (PDT)
To: "coopec bankabidjan" <[email protected]>

dEAR cOOPEC,

tHANKS fOR yOUR kIND eMAIL, cONTENT iS wELL nOTED. kEEP uP tHE gOOD wORK

vINCENT

Mikey has another email in my unanswered queue...

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Tue Aug 2 02:42:55 2005
Subject: I been expecting to hear fro you.

Dear Dr Vincent,

I sent you mail lasdet week but up to date I did not heard from you.Is anything wrong?
How far have you gone with the bank? have been contacting you for the transaction.
Please you should get back to me so I wil how far you have went with them and try to
worry them so that everything will move very fast.

I waaiting for your reply.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr .M.Maxwell

Another day wasted...

Quote:

Date: Tue, 2 Aug 2005 20:51:46 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Dear Micheal,

Sorry, I am very old and slow at times. I will try to figure out my email soon.

Vincent

Ah, the standard "hurry", "fast", "fastness", "immediately" response.

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Wed Aug 3 05:27:32 2005
X-Originating-IP: [217.146.176.68]
Return-Path: <[email protected]>
Subject: Thank you for your mails

Dear Dr. Vincent

I have received your mails.thank you so much.please you should make ures you hurry
the bank to make everything work very fast so that before the end of weekend they may
transfer the fund to your account.I want you to understand the important of your
fastness over this transaction.immediately the bank transfer the fund into your
account, as I told we will been coming over to your country for the shareing of the
fund with you and I will lik to remain here for the living and investment too.

but I belief the bank is working toward the approval notice which is going to be
available if not today by tomorrow everything will take place.Please whatever any
instruction the bank tell you to make sure that the transaction will work very well
without any delay or hitch please you have to comply with them immediately.

I Awaiting for your response.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr.Michael Maxwell

I'll get right on it!

Quote:

Date: Wed, 3 Aug 2005 20:55:21 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Dear Micheal,

Very good, I will work with the bank immediately as soon as I hear from them.

Regards

The bank is back, I guess it is a Capital Bank!

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Wed Aug 3 06:37:13 2005
Subject: Congratulation.

ATTENTION.Dr Vincent Price.

WE Have Attached Your Fund Approval And Memo Which Has Been Granted To
You As The Right Beneficiary To Late Eng Christian E.Mason.You Are Advise
To Go Through The Documents Very Well And Confirm To Us If
The Account Details Are Correct.

The Board Of Director Of This Bank, COOPEC BANK OF ABIDJAN,COTE D'
IVOIRE Take This Opportunity To Congratulate You For Your Approval Of
The Fund On Your Behalf And Promised To Offer you The Best Of Our Service.

You Are Also Inform To Follow The Necessary Instruction To Enable Us
Credit Your Fund Into Your Account As Soon As Possible.By Submiting The
Name Of Your Financeical Attorney Who Will Procure The Needed
Documentations On Your Name Also Sign Your Fund Release Order (FRO)On Your
Behalf.Upon Your Response To This With Your Financecial Attorney To Obtain
The Legal Documentations On Your Name As The Right Beneficiary Of The
Fund.The Affidavit Of Truth/Claim And Affidavit Of Mandamus In Your Name
To Proof That Your Are The Right Beneficiary Of Such Fund And Your Fund Is
100% Legal.

Comply With Our Banking System To Enable You Receive Your Fund
Immedaitely Based On The Date Your Financeical Attorney Obtain The
Documents On Your Behalf Which Will Be Copy To You And Our Bank,
We Promised To Credit Your Fund Into Your Account Within 72 Banking
Working Hours.Call To This Department Today To Confirm ThatYou Have
Receive These Documents.

Congratulation.

YOURS FAITHFULLY.

MR.ABRAHAM JOHN.

DIRECTOR FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT
COOPEC BANK ABIDJAN CI.
TEL:00225 058 374 97.

I didn't read that last one, too hard to read. Is there some editor that
can be used to capitalize every word?!

Quote:

Date: Wed, 3 Aug 2005 20:57:38 -0700 (PDT)
To: "coopec bankabidjan" <[email protected]>

Thank you kind sir, the details are perfect. Please transfer my fund soon.

Vincent

Mikey stays in the game...

Quote:

Date: Thu, 4 Aug 2005 12:45:48 +0200 (CEST)
Subject: Thank you for your mail

Dear Vincent.

I have received your mail thank you so much and I promised you that at the end of
this transfer both us will benefit from it very well.Please I want to let you know
that whatever the bank ask you if cannot be able to answer them very well please do
get intouch with me so that I will tell you what you can answer to them to avoid any
mistake.As I told you that, they are working on the approval notice of the fund which
they may send to you any time from now.please to inform me if the whenever they these
documents to you because as soon as they send it to you which means that the fund is
now belong to you.then you will ask them the next thing you are going to do so that
they will transfer the fund into your account immediately.

Please comply with the bank so that everything will workout very fine.

Thanks and Remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr.Michael Maxwell.

Meaningless platitude of reassurance - a sure way to waste another day!

Quote:

Date: Thu, 4 Aug 2005 21:01:09 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Michael,

Thanks for your excellent suggestions!

Vincent

The Capital Bank is back, I just can't stand reading this!

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Thu Aug 4 04:23:46 2005
Subject: Comply with our instruction.

Attention Dr Vincent Price.

We Acknowledge Receipt Of Your Mail.You Are Advise to Comply With Our
Instruction To Enable Us Transfer Your Fund Into Your Account
Immediately.

We Have Made It Clear To You That You Will Submit The Name Of Your
Financical Attroney Who Will Obtain The Needed Documentation On your
Behalf From The Various Ministries Here Which is to Backup Your Fund trans.This Is
To Say That Your Fund Is 100% Legal And As next of kin To Late
Eng Christian E. Mason So That The Government OF Your Country Will Know The
source Of Getting the fund , so that in time of withdrawing the fund from
your account you will never have problem with any body.

These Documentations Will be Issued to You From Ministry Of Justice (MJ),
Ministry Of Finance (MF), A letter From The Accountant General Of The
Federation (AGF), A letter From Governor Of Central Bank Cote D'
Ivoire(GCBCI).

An Attorney Will Appear at The High Court And Sworn An Affidavit Of Oath
Of Truth /Claim and it Will be Issued To You From Ministry Of Justice As The next of
kin to deceased Eng.C.E.Mason.

Immediately All These Needed legal Documents are Issued On Your Name We Will Copy To
You For Your Record Purpose and Your Fund Transfer Effected Into Your Account
Immediately.

So You Are Advised To submit to us Your Financical attorney Who Will procure
And Get These Documents And Sign Your Fund Release Order(FRO) On Your
Behalf For Your fund Immediate Transfer Into Your designate Account.

Thanks.

Yours Faithfully.

Mr Abraham John.

Director Foreign Remittance Department
CoopecBank Abidjan CI.
Tel:00225 058 374 97.

I don't recall, but I guess the phony barrister from a different bait annoyed me,
so I am cross-baiting.

Quote:

Date: Thu, 4 Aug 2005 21:04:38 -0700 (PDT)
To: "coopec bankabidjan" <[email protected]>

Dear Coopec,

My attorney is Richmond Otu. You may reach him at
[email protected]. I also have his
phone and fax numbers if needed.

Mikey wants to stay in the loop...

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Fri Aug 5 04:29:58 2005
Subject: you should follow my advise please.

Dear Dr. Vincent,

I have received your mail but you did not inform me that the bank have sent you the
approval notice of the fund.But I told you any instruction the bank gave you, you
should try to return is to me so that i will advise you on how to respond to them to
avoid any mistake but the approval notice have sent to you since yesterday.please you
should let know the next step to follow.

I awaiting for your immediate respond.

Thanks and Remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr.M.Maxwell

Actually had quite a few baits going, so I probably am being honest here...

Quote:

Date: Fri, 5 Aug 2005 20:14:08 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Michael,

Please forgive my memory, what is the name of the bank you are concerned with? I am
sorry, there are so many banks always emailing me I can become confused too easily, alas.

Vincent

Capital Bank is really getting on my nerves...

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Fri Aug 5 07:41:42 2005
Subject: Confirm This Mail Immdeiately

Attention Dr Vincent Price,

Your Mail Been Have Received. Are You Going To Send Your Attention Here Or Not.Because
you need someone who will Represent You Here To Procure The Needed Documentation On
Your Behalf And Sign Your Fund Release Order On Your Behalf.It is Very Important That
You Have To Submit The Name Of Your Attorney To Get The Needed Documents for You
Immediately .Or Will You Appoint An Attention Here So That Everything Will Workout
Very Easy And Fast For you.

We Are expecting You To Confirm This Mail Immdeiately.

Thanks.

Yours Faithfully.

Mr. Abraham John

Director Foreign Remittance Department.
Coopecbank Abidjan Ci

Tel 00225 058 374 97

Time For A Slap, Don't You Think?

Quote:

Date: Fri, 5 Aug 2005 20:35:16 -0700 (PDT)
To: "coopec bankabidjan" <[email protected]>

Dear coopec,

I am very old, sorry sir, and as such I am having trouble reading your mail. Why do
you capitalize every letter of every word? It is distracting and I am unable to read
your letter, please resend it in proper English.

Apologies again,
Vincent

Another recap, another day lost. Sigh.

Quote:

Date: Sat, 6 Aug 2005 13:04:54 +0200 (CEST)
Subject: hope it is okay now.

Dear Dr Vincent,

Thanks for your mail, Honestly , I am very surprised that you don't know whom am I that
which make you to asked me, which bank may I writting to you because many people has
been writting to you.I hope this is not the way you want to betray me .my name Mr
Michael Maxwell from coopec bank abidjan coet d' ivoire who told you to come and lay
claim as the next of kin to Eng.Christian E.Mason who died in plane crash that happen
in new york usa year 2000.how come you are confused.

I want you to tell me what the bank told you to do so that I will give an idea on how
to do it very fast and easy.because I was over heard them saying that, they are waiting
for your attorney who will help you to sign the fund and get the neceassry documents to
you, if it is the true get back to me so that I will tell you to tell the director
which is Mr Abraham John to use our bank attorney to work you.so that the cost of
getting the documents will not be too high for you.

I hope you have knows whom am I so that you will not become confused again or make
mistake.and you have to act fast please.

I awaiting for your reply.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr Michael Maxwell .(from coopecbank)

Now that these losers have lasted so long, I decide to start playing. I go back
and save all their old email so I can maintain a point of reference. End of part one.

Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 2:54 am

Part 2 of 3.

Quote:

Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 00:11:51 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Michael,

Please understand sir, I have many people who write to me and ask favors. I am old,
but I still believe the best legacy is generosity, so I try to help everyone, at least
to some extent.

For you to talk of betrayal hurts my feelings beyond words. I am not worried about
any small cost. Please state your needs simply and clearly so we can do business.
Remember, it is always better to help the living.

Vincent

capital bank has complied with my (lack of) capitalization policy...

Quote:

Date: Sat, 6 Aug 2005 04:19:14 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: this is clear to you now

Attention: Dr Vincent Price

Your mail been have received.

are you going to send your attention here or not.

because you need someone who will represent you here to procure the needed
documentation on your behalf and sign your fund release order on your behalf.

It is very important that you have to submit the name of your attorney
to get the needed documents for you immediately .
or will appoint an attention here who will help you to get the documents for you,
so that everything will workout very easy and fast for you.
we are expecting you to confirm this mail immdeiately.

Thanks.

Yours Faithfully.

Mr. Abraham John

Director Foreign Remittance Department.
Coopecbank Abidjan Ci
Tel 00225 058 374 97

Let's get this deal going now, I am ready!

Quote:

Date: Sun, 7 Aug 2005 00:13:37 -0700 (PDT)
To: "coopec bankabidjan" <[email protected]>

Dear John,

Appoint and annoint the attorney. I will of course pay all her fees. I do not
have time for trivial details, that is why we have lawyers my friend.

This dude has obviously been baited before. Code phrase?! Why?

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Mon Aug 8 05:21:22 2005
Subject: this is my code.

Dear Dr.Vincent,

I have received your mail.Thanks for your response.
I will like to give a code so that with it you wil know that It is me Michael to avoid
any confuseation again .The code is (IN LORD WE TRUST) So any mail that send to you
without this code is not me okay.

I am very sorry by using the word betray, I don't mean to hot you Sir,

Now what is the next step from the bank? what they asking for, so that we will move
forward to get the fund into your account by next week .I told you to comply with the
bank system please , this fund will benefit for both of us at the end.

Once Again I am very sorry, I would want to hot but hope you will forgive me because
I believed with one mind , we are going to enjoy the fund as soon as it confirmed into
your account.

Thanks and Remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr. Michael Maxwell.
(IN LORD WE TRUST)

I send an innocent email which ends up insulting him...

Quote:

Date: Mon, 8 Aug 2005 20:34:32 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Michael,

Dear boy, you misunderstand me. I am not interested in your fund at all!
I don't need the money, I have too much as it is! It is better that I do
good deeds in this world instead.

As such, since there is no benefit to me, I feel you should do all the work.
I am only the money man who can help you out with payments to grease the palms
of all the greedy officials you will no doubt encounter. I will not waste my
time dealing with those hooligans and ruffians, it offends my delicate taste.

Cheers and best of luck!
Vincent

Meanwhile the Capital bank is ready for a payment...

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Tue Aug 9 02:43:52 2005
Subject: confirm receipt of this mail

We acknowledge receipt of your mail been yesterday 08/08/005 as you are demanding from
us that I should appoint an attorney who will assist you to get the necessary
documentations on your name and sign your fund release order.

I have appoint our bank attorney to assist you to enable him work for you so that the
cost of getting the documents will not be too high so that everything will be under the
banking instruction.as I told you these documents will be issue to you from various
ministries here, so after the our bank have confirmed the cost of getting the documents
to you, the cost of the fee is only $3,850. and he promised to sign your fund release
order free of charge to you.so this is the important of using our bank attorney because
if I give you contact of outsider attorney , it will cost you more than this because he
must ask for service fee, legal fee, condition of service and ect.

You advise to send the fee through westen union money transfer with the of mr okoro
ernest n.as soon as you send the fee, the information of the payment should send direct
to this email address to enable hand it over this man he is under accountant
department of our bank so that the fee will submit to the attorney immediately to make
sure that the documents will procured as soon as possible.as I said based on the day
needed documentations to him your fund transfer will be effected into your account
within 72 banking working hours.

you are expecting to send fee immediatey you receive this mail with the name mr okoro
ernest n.he is a staff to this bank coopecbank under accountant department, through
westen union money transfer so that the attorney will move for the documents immediately.

Thanks.

Yours Faithfully
Mr Abraham John
Driector Foreign Remittance Department
CoopecBank Abidjan Ci.
Tel:0225 058 374 97

Raising their hopes...

Quote:

Date: Tue, 9 Aug 2005 18:34:19 -0700 (PDT)
To: "coopec bankabidjan" <[email protected]>

John,

Good work, that's all I needed to know, payment will be sent tomorrow.

It's ok to scam old men, but you just shouldn't be insulting scammers by calling
someone "dear boy". Right.

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Tue Aug 9 09:39:54 2005
Subject: Remain blessed

Dear Dr.Vincent,

Thanks for your response to my mail.I did not undestanding you but due to the question
you asked me which I knew full well that both of us have been communicated for some
time so you suppose know me very well and know when I writed to you.but that should not
brign any problem because we have build the trust of understanding for each other.

apoint of correction sir, please you should not address me in this way again (dear boy)
I am a family man with four childrens.I am 45 years old , I knew that you are old
than me.but understand because I have never think to use unecessary worlds to you.I
must offer you your respect

But I do not understand where you are saying that hence you don't have any benefit ,
please is it from this transfer or any other business you where doing with people. I
have said this before at the end of this business both of us will sure benefit from it
so doubt of in this matter .please i belief everything are to concoulde as soon as
possible.

I awaiting for your reply as soon as possible.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr.Michael Maxwell

Quote:

Date: Tue, 9 Aug 2005 18:36:41 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Michael,

Don't worry, the bank has already contacted me and I have arranged payment.

I love bringing happiness to the lads, at least for a short while.

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Wed Aug 10 05:38:17 2005
Subject: Remain blessed

Dear Dr.Vincent,

I have received your mail,Thank you so much for every effort you are making toward
the transfer.I know everything are coming to the end .

Please I will want you to advise me in the area that i will invest my share as you
can understand that i am a civil service which i have never do any business before.

please any expenses you make try to keep the copy of the receipt and send it to too
for my record purpose because before will share the fund all the expense you make
will be balance to you first.

I made a mistake in my last mail to you yesterday i forget to add the code as I told
you.but i GOD that you notice that it is my mail.

Once again, i thank you so much for all your effort, Which i will be planning on
how to leave this country to usa any time from now.

i awaiting for your reply.

thanks and Remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr. Michael Maxwell

(IN LORD WE TRUST)

Here is my standard "financial advice". It is based upon something a lad wrote
in some bait I read here. I made a few minor changes.

Quote:

Date: Wed, 10 Aug 2005 19:32:13 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Michael,

Thank you for your kind inquiry. In response to your points here is my recommendation.

(1) Short- to long-term position trading program covering 16 futures markets
(1a) Places a protective stop that tightens with profitability
(1b) Averages about 15 trades per month
(1c) Max Historical drawdown of 30.7 percent*

(2) Terms are as follows:
You are to open a FX markets account with PWN(ed) with all the features the PWNed
Trading Platform offers. This account requires a minimum of $50,000 in equity.

(3) You should know there are offices globally, including London (Soho district)
and Lower Unktington (just north of Upper Unktington).

If I can be of further assistance please do not hesitate to call or email.

Vincent

The bank is nervous, yet hopeful.

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Thu Aug 11 08:42:03 2005
Subject: Immediate response.

Attention:Dr. Vincent Price,

We are expecting to hearing from you, as you mention regard to the fee which you
have promised to send the following day been 10th.

As I told you, based on the day this various ministries issued the documents to
the attorney , your fund transfer effected into your account within 3working days.as
every agreement have taken place by the attorney only for you to comply as you said.

Thanks.

Yours Faithfully.

Mr Abraham John.
Director foreign remittance department.
Coopecbank abidjan ci.
Tel :00225 058 374 97

For some reason (beer?), I cross-bait another mugu barrister.

Quote:

Date: Sat, 13 Aug 2005 09:51:06 -0700 (PDT)
To: "coopec bankabidjan" <[email protected]>
CC: [email protected]

I have notified my attorney and am including him on this email. Please the
money has already been sent by Western Union.

They always love my financial advice.

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Fri Aug 12 04:34:08 2005
Subject: try to make everything this week

Dear Vincent,

Thanks for your mail and advise on how to invest the fund .

I'm sorry I was unable to response to your mail yesterday, I was too busy in office.
hope you will reason with you.As you promised me that you have arrange the fee which
the bank asked for, have you be able send it to them ?.Please if you not, try to make
it possible tod ay tomorrow so that before the end of next weekend the bank will
transfer fund into your account.you know that papers work will start by monday.

Once again, thank you so much for all your effort.And as soon as the fund confirmed
into your account please I will want you to send an invition letter so that we will
apply for visa .

I did not forget, as you said if you be will further assistance, yes, I would want
to assist me till I get fully experience in the business.

please try to make sure everything be in order so that by next week everything will
be okay.

I awaiting for your urgent reply.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Michael Maxwell.

(IN LORD WE TRUST)

Quote:

Date: Sat, 13 Aug 2005 22:29:27 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Michael,

Don't worry, I have sent the money by Western Union as requested.

Vincent

The bank notices my mugu attorney.

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Mon Aug 15 02:46:28 2005
Subject: Immediate confirmation needed.

Attention. Dr Vincent Price,

In receipt of your mail, you said that the fee have alreadly be sent through
western union money transfer , but you did not send the information as I told you.
If you mean what are you saying , you should send the information directly to this
box so that it will hand over to the accountant department to enable withdraw the
feee and submit it to attorney so that these docuents will be procured this week.

The information are follow:the control number, The text question and answer, the
name and amount immediately you received this mail to avoid any mistake so that
you will not say that our bank have eat your fund without sending the documents to you.

The attorney you mention is it over there in your country or here because I knew
fully well that you don't know our attorney here because I did not give you his
information.So if it is your private attorney tell him to send the payment
information as I told you to enable them withdraw the fund immediately.

It is very-very important you confirm this mail immediately your receive to avoid
any confusion please.

Thanks.

Yours Faithfully.
Mr Abraham John.
Director foreign remittance department.
Coopecbank abidjan ci.
Tel :00225 058 374 97

Baiting as Vincent Price often compels me to use good grammar and good manners.
When I need to let off steam, I refer to Mr Price's assistant, Freddy Krueger.
This Krueger often kills my baits dead, so he's only a last resort. He's also
good for taking the blame for my "mistakes".

Quote:

Date: Mon, 15 Aug 2005 19:41:07 -0700 (PDT)
To: "coopec bankabidjan" <[email protected]>

Mr John,

Payment has been sent by my assistant as per the
instructions he received:

> As a matter of exigency, Please kindly effect
> payments of the above charges US$4,800 through the
> WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER to the informations
> stated below
> for me to be able to get the necessary documents to
> apply for the transfer of your claims and do the
> necessary signing for the release order.
>
> FIRST NAME: JOHN
> LAST NAME: OKOH
> ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA
> TEST QUESTION: BLUE
> ANSWER: SAN

Please tell me you know what this is all about!

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Mon Aug 15 04:23:11 2005
Subject: is very important you send payment information

Dear Vincent Price,

I have received your mail , I am very grateful this morning when I read your
mail.thank you so much for your effort which I believed before the end of the
is week I hope the papers work will be okay.

But the problem I heard this morning from the remittance department that the
payment information you did not send by you and if you did not send it they
will not withdraw the fee from the bank .please try as much as possible to
send the information to the bank so that they will withdraw the fee as soon
as possible.

If you can not write it very well because of you eye , you can scan payment paper
through attacment and send it so that you will not make a mistake to enable them
withdraw the money please .the information is necessary without it the bank will
not withdraw the fee.

I awaiting for your reply.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr Micheal Maxwell

He hasn't yet realized I "sent" the money to the wrong person.
Let's break the news.

Quote:

Date: Mon, 15 Aug 2005 19:54:10 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Michael,

My assistant has sent the money as per this request:

> As a matter of exigency, Please kindly effect
> payments of the above charges US$4,800 through the
> WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER to the informations
> stated below
> for me to be able to get the necessary documents to
> apply for the transfer of your claims and do the
> necessary signing for the release order.
>
> FIRST NAME: JOHN
> LAST NAME: OKOH
> ADDRESS: LAGOS NIGERIA
> TEST QUESTION: BLUE
> ANSWER: SAN

What is the meaning of your email, is everything OK?

Geography lesson from the lads!

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Tue Aug 16 02:51:48 2005
X-Originating-IP: [206.190.38.49]
Return-Path: <[email protected]>
Date: Tue, 16 Aug 2005 02:51:48 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: You made mistaken okay

Attention:Dr Vincent Pirce,

I am very much surprised that you sent payment to the nigeria not in my conutry
abidjan cote D'Ivoire, you are confused you don't know whom you are dealing with .you
have made a mistake sent the fee to nigeria but where I mr abraham john from ABIDJAN
COTE D'IVOIRE,Director Of Foreign Remittance Department coopec bank abidjan cote
D' Ivoire.

You have to understand cote d'Ivoire and Nigeria are difference country of each own,
so nigeria and cote d' ivoire are not one.

the name I gave first :OKORO
LAST name:ERNEST N.
ADDRESS:ABIDJAN COTE D'IVOIRE

The documents I sent to you which is the approval notice of your fund did't you see
the address from the documents is it Nigeria or cote D' Ivoire, in each of my email
to you I colse it with the fully address of my our bank so that you will know the
department I cam from.beside what the we requseted from is $3,850.only for
getting these documents for your fund release order.

so for your information , our bank here did not received any fee from you neither
from your attorney or whom you may call him.

so you are advise to send the fee today as soon as your received this mail to
enable our bank legal attachee to get these needed documentations for you for the
immediate transfer of your fund.

direction: MR.OKORO ERNEST N.
ADDRESS:ABIDJAN COTE D'IVOIRE
BY WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER.
THE FEE IS $3,850 only, not $4,800

We are expecting you to send the fee today immediately you received this mail.

Thanks

Yours Faithfully.
Mr Abraham John.

My mistake, slap for him!

Quote:

Date: Tue, 16 Aug 2005 19:37:01 -0700 (PDT)
To: "coopec bankabidjan" <[email protected]>

Dear Abraham John,

Your attitude is appalling! I could turn over in my grave right now!

First, my name is Vincent Price, not Vincent "Pirce".

Second, I am not confused. All financial payments are made by my dear assistant,
and he may have made an innocent mistake.

Third, you insult me to imply I don't know the difference between the Ivory
Coast and Nigeria.

Fourth, your insultive action only hurts my friend Michael, he is the one who
needs help here, not you or me.

Finally, you will not receive any funds until I receive an apology for your
rudeness. Micheal and I, we are the one who have suffered here, not you.
Show some kindness, and kindness will repay you. Learn from this.

Vincent

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Tue Aug 16 03:34:30 2005
Subject: please correct the mistake sir

Dear Dr Vincent,

I have received your mail, Honestly, I don't know how to explain to you how I feel
this morning, the direction of the fee was sent to nigeria not in my country cote
D'Ivoire.But my surprised it that we have talked about this matter before,when you
asked me, from which bank m I writting to you which I told you from abidjan
cote d' ivoire .please do not do what will you do that bring suspect to me. how
can you stand as the next of kin to Late Eng. Christian E.Mason who died in plane
crash but you don't know the bank and the country where your partner made deposit
for you .please think about this issue.

Now you should contact the bank here coopec bank abidjan Cote D'Ivoire and make Mr
Abraham John To understand that you made a mistake the person you told to send the
fee made a mistake by sending the fee to NIGERIA.so that he will not suspect anything
please.

And try to send the fee so that they will get the needed documents.I hope they have
given you name you will use to send it, Address Abidjan Cote D' Ivoire.our bank here
will received the fee please.Don't disappoint me I have told you the reason while I
don't want to mis this opportunity Sir.

And you did not tell me that you have a business in Nigeria.please don't fail to send
it today.

I awaiting for your urgent reply.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr.Michael Maxwelll

(IN LORD WE TRUST)
From Coopec Bank Abidjan.

Don't worry Mikey, it will all work out!

Quote:

Date: Tue, 16 Aug 2005 19:40:18 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Dear Michael,

Please don't worry, the mistake is not your fault. My assistant Mr. Krueger must
have made an error in sending the payment. I am sure the accidental receivers will
return the money soon.

I have had to counsel Mr Abraham John. Because of his rudeness, I have refused
to send payment until I receive an apology.

My friend I am sorry if this will inconvience you, but I will not be insulted
and pushed around. I am too old for that!

Don't worry, things will work out.

Vincent

I get my apology, sort of.

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Wed Aug 17 02:59:19 2005
Subject: I'm sorry okay

Attention:Dr Vincent price,

In receipt of your mail, I could want you to understand what it to take that you
have made a payment to our bank but it happen that, the payment was not made to us.
do you know that it may bring a very bad name to our bank, not only the bank but
all the staff or workers.

I never wanted to insult you but to be open to you so that you have to correct the
mistake which you have done by your assistance.I am a man of peace,I am very sorry
if I have use any insultive words that hot you.I applogies for that.hope it is okay
with you now. if you can understand, I told you that I will used the best of
knowledge to make sure you received your fund without any hitch, by now you supposed
to receive your fund.

Remember that I am doing this for you because of mine good LORD because I don't know
you, it out of my goodness I show my kindness to the people.your fund is not coming
to me but to make sure that our bank legal attorney which I appointed on your behalf
to get the legal documentations to enable us transfer your fund effected into your
account without any problem.

Hope there be not going to have any misunderstanding again.we are expecting you to
send the fee as we direct you, possible today, so that bewteen today and toward the
end of the week these documents we be available so that by this time next week your
fund transfer will take place as soon as possible.

Thanks.

Yours Faithfully.

Mr.Abraham John.

End Part 2, one more part to go, coming soon...

Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 3:28 am

Part 3 of 3.

I try to hire Mr Abraham John...

Quote:

Date: Thu, 18 Aug 2005 18:53:20 -0700 (PDT)
To: "coopec bankabidjan" <[email protected]>

Dear Abraham John,

It takes a big man to apologize, I respect you greatly
for that. In fact, I'd like to offer you a position
with me as my financial advisor and consultant.
Character is important, and you have it. Name your
salary requirements. I can give you a very generous
relocation package to get you moved here.

Please consider my offer sir and get back to me.

Yours,
Vincent

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Wed Aug 17 03:34:39 2005
Subject: thanks for your effort.

Dear Dr Vincent.

Thanks for your understanding and your promised to me that I should not loose hope
that everything will work out fine.I pray that the good GOD will make it possible
for both us of meet face to face after the transfer.

Please you should understand that what ever you are doing toward this is for my own
good .please don't be too hot about anything or bad words he told you, please try
to consider him because of me sir.but I really knew him very well which is mr
abraham john, He will be sorry for that because is a man who don't want any problem
in his life at all.please whether he appologies to you or not but because of me
please reason and forget everything about and make sure the transfer work out as you
have promised me.

Please Sir, If I am to say, I wil suggest that you have to send the fee by yourself
than to send your assistance to send it .But I hope the mistake will never happen again.

Once again, I thank you so much for your effort and understanding to this transfer .
the good LORD will surely reward you in million times.

I awaiting for your reply.

Thanks and Remain Blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr.Michael Maxwell.

Mikey is always a step behind. Let's keep him happy.

Quote:

Date: Thu, 18 Aug 2005 18:54:54 -0700 (PDT)
To: "Michael Maxwell" <[email protected]>

Michael,

Don't worry, I am working things out with Abraham John. In fact, I have a good
feeling that he will be coming to work for me! We will have your business taken
care of in no time!

Vincent

He accepts my offer, but not yet. That might have repercussions.

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Fri Aug 19 03:27:01 2005
Subject: Confirm receipt of this mail

Attention:Dr Vincent Price,

We have confirmed receipt of your mail.But you should understand how importance is
your transfer, that as soon as you act fast, The transfer of the fund will be effected
into your account.I want to let you know that you are delaying your fund transfer.

And for your information, there is political problem in my country cote d'Ivoire,so we
make sure that any beneficiary that want to lay claim to his or her fund ,we make sure
that we will transfer the fund to his or her account as soon as possible before our
coming election which going to host in the month of octobre this year.So in a country
there are rebels war can start at any given time.

I advise you to act fast by sending the fee to enable our bank legal attachee to
procured the legal documentation for your fund release order.

Regards to your offer, I will not stop my work just like that, I have to think about
that as a man because I am living okay with my family.I don't refuse offer and I will
tell you now that I have accepted yet but let know whom you are may be the end of this
transfer I will know how honest you are. but may I ask you, how can I become a finance
advisor to someone In america,dose is mean that you don't have any body you can trust
in your country? so let going direct to the point and face your transfer of your fund
before it will too late.

You know this week is over, when are you going to send the fee for the releaseing of
your fund.

Thanks.

Yours Faithfully.

Mr.Abraham John.

Bad news, I don't have time for small and trivial deals like this one. Ha ha!

Quote:

Date: Fri, 19 Aug 2005 21:30:51 -0700 (PDT)
To: "coopec bankabidjan" <[email protected]>

Dear John,

I am sorry to hear you cannot accept my offer. Unfortunately for me, I had already
dismissed my previous assistant. Now without help, I am overwhelmed with work.

I must choose the high dollar deals first, so your small matter will be delayed.
Your required urgency suggests you would do better with a different investor who
can dedicate the appropriate time.

I wish you all the best of luck in your future.

Sincerely,
Vincent

Mikey is blissfully unaware of the new problem.

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Fri Aug 19 10:17:57 2005
Subject: thanks for your effort.

Dear Dr Vincent,

I have received your mail .thank you so much for your assistance and understanding
toward this transfer.As I told you Abraham is good and very friendly to the people.

Sir, Please I could want you to make sure that everything will be okay toward next
week because to make sure that I will leave this country before the end second week
of next month with my family.Honestly , I am afraid of this country because the way
things are happen here may be there is going to be another war here which I don't want
to experince again with my family.

Once again,I Thank you so much for your help and I pray that the good LORD will surely
reward you.So please try as much as you can to make sure things workout fine next week.

I awaiting for your reply.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr.Michael Maxwell.

(IN LORD WE TRUST)

I guess I take a few days off. Apparently the "bank" is not keeping Mikey informed.

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Mon Aug 22 05:45:21 2005
Subject: Hope things are okay.

Dear Dr.Vincent,

How are you today .I did not receive any email from you, hope things are fine
with you.How far, have you contact the bank for the fee? what is the next thing to
follow.please you should try as much as possible to make sure that they will get
the needed documentation for the immediate transfer of the fund into your account
as I told you in my last mail that I am planning to leave the country before the
end of second week next month.

Please you should understand important of these documents and the reason while it
must procured before transfering of the fund into your account.I as told you before,
any assistance you offer me, the reward will come to you from above.so do not feel
that, may be the fee is for the bank or any other thing but for the documents.please
if you have never send the fee try to do it if possible today.

I awaiting for your reply .

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Mr Michael Maxwell

(IN LORD WE TRUST)

Make the lads do the work, make the lads do the work...

Quote:

Michael,

Sorry to have taken so long, I am working on some very important business
deals, and I am currently without an assistant.

I have no time to waste on silly documents and such. You and the lawyer
must learn to take care of those things yourself. If you need any funds
to assist you, just let me know.

Vincent

This is some quality BS here...

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Tue Aug 23 04:03:32 2005
Subject: i can't understand the causes of delay

Dear Vincent,

I have received your mail.Thanks for your mail.As you can understand that the
transaction have taken long so you need to make sure that everything conclude this
month.

But I did not understand what you mean that I and the attorney have to take care of
the documents which you know that I am working in this bank , That I don't want to
expose myself , how do you think that this will be possible or do you want me to
loose my job before the deal will be over, please I hope you have never mention my
name to this bank.

And you should understand while these legal documentations have never be procured
from this various ministries is due to the fee which is involve, which you have
told me that you are going to send to the bank for the procured the needed documents.
it is the fee that holding everything while the fund transfer not to effected into
your account.because as soon as the backup documents are available the bank ,
transfering of the fund will be effected into your account as soon as poosible.hope
you will not disappoint me in this issued.the fund assistance I need is the fee which
the bank requested from you for the obtain these documents for the fund release order.

May I ask you , when are you planning to send the fee to the bank which you knew that
it is the caused of delaying the transfer.please update me as soon as you receive this
mail.

I awaiting for you immediate reply.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.
Michael Maxwell
(IN LORD WE TRUST)

When in doubt, slap. He hates to be called "boy".

Quote:

Michael,

I am an old man without an assistant. I refuse to read your dreary emails, I simply
don't care about trivial details. If you need some money, just tell me how much and
who to send it to please. Your whining has become annoying and I may put a block on
your email address if you don't straighten up soon.

Sorry, but it is time for you to stop acting like a baby boy and start behaving like
a man. Now get to it.

Vincent

The "bank" is back with some quality BS of their own.

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Tue Aug 23 09:06:32 2005
Subject: Confirm receipt of this mail

Attention:Dr Vincent Price,

Is a grace surprised that you told me that you have dismissed your previous assistance
because of me while you don't know me neither we have see before or it is necessary
that I must accepted the offer.I don't believed you because this the kinds of word you
can use to a child not like an old man of my age.

Direct to the point, when are you send the fee for the legal documentation for the
immediate transferring of your fund because your approval notice have over due so to
avoid us not to cancell the the transfer you should try to comply with us on time
before it will be too late for you.

As you said that you must choose the high dollars first that this will be delay, I
advise you one thing, do not make a mistake in your life, by seeing the right thing
and when to the wrong way, that mean you will say, has I knew then it is too late for
you.you have an opportunity to lay claim on your fund as the next of kin to late Eng
Christain E Mason, unless you are not the rightful next of kin to this man.So go home,
so that you will not loose what you have while you are thinking about the bigger
dollars.

Once again, I appriecate your prayer to me.but think about what I said it for your good.

Thanks.

Yours Faithfully.

Mr Abraham John.
Director Foreign Remittance Department
CoopecBank Abvidjan Ci.
Tel:00225 058 374 97

I can tell I am getting tired of this bait, I am a bit short-tempered now.

Quote:

Dear Coopec Bankabidjan,

Your email is too long and my mind can not read that drivel. Please stay on topic
and keep your emails short if you expect a response from me. I am too old for this
computer stuff, sorry to say.

Vincent

Mikey wants the money direct to him!

Quote:

From Michael Maxwell Wed Aug 24 04:01:43 2005
Subject: You can send the fee through me

Dear Vincent,

I have read your mail .I can not understand how I am acting like a bady.

I want to let you know one thing , I have never think to insult you or use any how word
to you, beside I need your assistance dose not mean you may feel that I am a no body.

The bank asked you to send $3,850 for procureing the needed documents for the immediate
transfer of the fund exffected into your account.Send the fee to me today, so that I
will submit the fee to the bank hence you don't want to send it through the direction
the bank gave you.Mr Michael Maxwell.Address , Abidjan coet D'Ivoire, through western
union money transfer and send the payment information to this my email address.

I love a man of his word, I could want you to be bold enough and tell me the reason all
this words you told me so that I will correct my mistake if I have done wrong.The Fee
is the problem of the fund not to be transfer, which I knew as soon as fee send for the
documents the transfer will conclude toward the end of this month.

I await for your reply.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Best Regards.

Michael Maxwell.
(IN LORD WE TRUST)

I like to reward guys who are willing to double-cross their partner.

Quote:

Michael,

Thank you for finally letting me know exactly what you need. I am so tired of hemming
and hawing and small meaningless talk about silly paper documents that nobody but the
lawyers will ever read. DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT THAT????!?!!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

I will send you the money ($3,850) as soon as possible.

Vincent

What?! Even I don't understand my point!

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Wed Aug 24 07:24:45 2005
Subject: We are expecting your confirmation.

Attention:Dr Vincent Price,

We Acknowledge receipt of your mail and understood your point.

We are expecting you to send the fee as we direct you to enable
our bank legal attachee procured the needed documentation for the
immediate transfer of your fund exffected into your account.

when are you send the fee for the legal documentation for the
immediate transferring of your fund because your approval notice have over due
to avoid us not to cancell the the transfer. you should try to comply
with us on time before it will be too late for you.

Your should address your mail in a norally way as you which to do before not dear
coopec bank abidjan.hope you understand.

Thanks .

Yours Faithfully

Mr Abraham John
Director Foreign Remittance Department.
Coopecbank Abidjan Ci.

Ultimatum!

Quote:

John,

I am tired of all your legal mumbo jumbo. Just tell me the bottom line.
How much money do you need, and who do I send it to? Is that so difficult?

You are on my last nerve. If you can not accomplish this simple task,
consider our deal over!

Vincent

Ah, we are all back on task.

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Thu Aug 25 02:03:27 2005
Subject: Re: We are expecting your confirmation.

Attention:Dr Vincent Price

Your mane have been received.

The fee is only $3,850. you should send it through western union money transfer with
the name Mr Okoro Ernest N. Address ,Abidjan Cote D' Ivoire.

We are expecting you to send the fee immediately you receive this mail.

Thanks.

Yours Faithfully.

Mr Abraham John.

Quote:

Dear John,

Very good, I will send the money forthwith. Good luck with your continued success!

Vincent

Apparently I have been using this guy's phone number in other baits.

Quote:

From coopec bankabidjan Fri Sep 16 03:20:19 2005
Subject: never you try that again

Attention:Dr Vincent Price,

Why did you sent our bank number to those nigeria men or boys, who which to
claimed what they are not to call this office and asking for you that they want
to speak to you, while you are not working in our bank.or do you think that here
is a playing ground where people can come and do whatever they want.I thought you
are a man of your word not knows that, you are nobody, you are just talking like a
coward.please enough of that, never in your life you will do such thing again.hence
you are not willing to claim your fund , it is an adventage to our bank because the
fund will go into the account of board director of this bank.

Never and never you will told those men to call here again okay.we are not here
for jokeing.

Thanks.
Yours Faithfully.

Mr Abraham John.

That ended this bait. I sent one more email to "Abraham", but he never responded.
My only regret is that I didn't get to hear that phone call from the nigeria boys, I
can't help but think it was amusing!

Not one of my funnier baits, but I hope you found some entertainment!

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