Love... short and sweet

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Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 6:22 pm

The characters:
walter mitty, lovesticken millionaire
Florence (Floxy) Williams, my ladette
Mrs. Vang di Hagedis, personal assistant to Mitty

We start with the usual laddette BS:

Quote:

Hello,

I hope this letter will not upset you, as we have no
previous discussion on this matter. I am Miss Florence
Williams, daughter of Mr. and Mrs GEORGE WILLIAMS, a
Liberian former Director of Liberian Mining corporation who
was assassinated by the Rebels fighting former President
Charles Taylor's Government in Oct.2001. My mother died of
heart attack, one year after my Fathers death. I and my
younger brother Ken became orphans without anybody to care
for us, even the Government which our father served and
lost his life.
My father unsure of Liberia Political future had secretly
moved the sum of
seventeen Million USA Dollars [$17Million] out of Liberia
and deposited it in a storage house in our neighboring
Country of Ivory Coast. That was at the period when Liberia
was facing United Nation Embargoes......yada, yada...

So I rely:
Walter Mitty to Floxy Williams:

Quote:

My dear Florence,
Or do you prefer to be called Floxy... A cute name.
My dear lady, your story has touched my heart. I know how hard it is
losing a parent, I lost my entire family on September 11, 2001 while
they were flying from Boston to Los Angeles for a family reunion. As
far as me taking a percentage, I would not hear of it! I am very
wealthy in my own right, having amassed a tidy sum of $38 million USD
as a result of trading in prophylactic futures on the Chicago
commodities exchange.
No my dear, I am not looking for money, my problem is that I have
never married. It seems that women here in the US would rather marry
dumb atheletes with no money than look beyond my rather plain looks
and see a romantic future with a wealthy , but not so pretty man. I am
actively seeking a wife from the motherland of Africa, someone sweet
like yourself. This 34 room mansion in Des Moines gets very lonely
having no one to share it with. I am enclosing my photo, please let me
know if you could ever fall in love with someone like me. My private
email is: [email protected] .
Truely yours,
Walter Mitty, Esq

And I send this picture

For the sake of no forum blowout, I will just list the URL
http://phpimage.com/images/OpusDaPenguin/wmitty.jpg

Quote:

Hello dear Walter,

Compliment of the day and how is everything with you? Hopefully all is well.

I am very much happy to receive your mail which is too sympathetic and touchy. It took me

back to past sad memories and my tears ran down again.

Walter, I sat down, watched and wondered how a handsome man like you will tell me that you

don't have a woman with you. You are too handsome a man Walter. In this case now, what do

you really want us to do? But are you going to help me and my younger brother Ken relocate

to USA to meet with you? Can you help us retrieve our heritage from the security company so

as to join you in USA with our own heritage? The problem we've been having is that we don't

have the means to retrieve the heritage. The security company director has been inviting us

to come up and retrieve the consignment because the period of retrieval is over due but we

are finding life difficult because we are not in our country and the country where we are

have been fighting war for the past five years. There is a presidential election coming up

here in october and people are running away because of fear of what is going to happen.

Therefore, my dear, if only you can help us contact the security company director and

present yourself as the son of our late father's friend and that you want us to join you in

USA so as to start a new life with you. Then, you ask him about the modality of operation

concerning how we can retrieve our heritage from their company.
Here is their contact:

DR. KANANYO DAVIES
DIRECTOR OF LOGISTICS
GLOBAL SAFETY FINANCE & SECURITIES
EMAIL: [email protected]/[email protected]
TEL: +22508174412

Here is my telephone number in case if you wish to give me a call +225-07-50-48-50 so that

we can discuss. Kindly please send me your number so that I can give you a call too.

Thanks and remain blessed.

Yours sincerely
Florence.

She can also send photos...

http://phpimage.com/images/OpusDaPenguin/floxy1.jpg

So I shoot off a mail to the security company

Quote:

Dear Dr Davies:
My name is Walter Mitty, and I am a citizen of the United States of
America. I am presenting myself as the former business partner of Mr.
George Williams of the Liberian Mining Corporation, and the future
husband of his daughter Florence and Guardian of his Minor Son
Kenneth.
I am writing today to to claim, in loco parentis, the estate of Mr
George Williams on behalf of my betrothed, Ms. Floxie Williams so that
it can be invested in high yield securities in the United States.
Please contact me at my personal email of [email protected] or
by phone at 1+206-203-3376.
Walter Mitty, Esq
Des Moines Iowa

Quote:

My dear Walter,

I was once again relieved and very much happy when I saw your mail. I pray that God will

help us accomplish our true dream.

I want you to know that a presidential election is fast approching here and every nuck and

corner is smelling danger. A lot of innocent people's blood have been shed in this country.

Please we do not wish to witness that again. That is why I am pleading you to help

accelerate this transaction out of this place, we can go to any neighbouring country and

camp ourselves and then, prepare our documents to come and join you in America. What is most

important is to retrieve this heritage from the sevurity company. Many people that have

wealth stored up in some vaults have started moving their things out of this country.

To help retrieve this heritage fast from the security company, I therefore, advise you to

contact the director of logistics,

DR. KANANYO DAVIES
GLOBAL SAFETY FINANCE & SECURITIES
EMAIL [email protected] OR [email protected]
Tel +22508174412 and then find out the modality of their operations.

I shallgive you a call on monday afternoon our own time.

Wishing you a very happy week-end.

Yours,
Florence.

Lovestruck Walter sends back:

Quote:

My dearest Floxy:
I sent an email to the security company over 24 hours
ago, they have not returned my letter. I am starting
to wonder if they have as much a sense of urgency as
you do. Could it possibly be that they are possibly
trying to cheat you out of your money? I am going put
your address on my yahoo messenger so that we can
communicate in real time.
Dreaming of you only,
Walter

Quote:

My dearest Walter,

I was so happy and very much grateful for your swift action which you've taken already by

sending a mail to the security company. They did not replied you because today is saturday.

They've closed their administrative offices for the week-end till monday morning. They work

half day on saturdays. I beg of you to exercise patience till monday. I will give them a

call and inform them of it.

Pls if they reply you, tell them that you want this heritage to be quickly claimed so that

my younger brother and I can quit here before the election which is in October.

I love you and will remain your darling,
Florence.

We then have a conversation on YIM where she tells me that she has been robbed (gasp) at the internet cafe and the thieves stole her cell phone.

Quote:

Floxy: Hello sweet heart,
waltermitty_cpa:
Floxy: Dear
Floxy: I am talking to you right now, arm robers entered where I am chatting with you and

took away my cellular
Floxy: So; I don't have cellular again
waltermitty_cpa: that is terrible!
Floxy: They came with a gun
Floxy: That is what we are suffering here
waltermitty_cpa: oh my! did anyone get hurt?
Floxy: they wanted to shoot at the manager but he was lucky
waltermitty_cpa: r u at a cyber cafe?
Floxy: because I was praying seriously
Floxy: yes at a cyber caf�
waltermitty_cpa: ahh
waltermitty_cpa: that can be dangerous with all the criminals who use them
Floxy: I am shaking on my nerves
Floxy: It is real terrible
waltermitty_cpa: you are lucky that there was not other criminals there with guns to shoot

back
waltermitty_cpa: you could have been caught in the crossfire
Floxy: my dear, that is what we are suffering here in this country
waltermitty_cpa: Sweetheart...would you like me to send some forms to you so that we can get

you out of there and come here?
waltermitty_cpa: Immigration forms
Floxy: honey,
waltermitty_cpa: maybe refugee status
Floxy: let's follow things gradually
Floxy: the most important thing is to finalise with security company so that the heritage

leaves here unfaillingly next week
waltermitty_cpa: I am still waiting for a reply from them
Floxy: after that my younger brother and I can go the neighbouring country to stay untill we

obtain our visa to come to America
waltermitty_cpa: ok
waltermitty_cpa: BTW, I have your picture on my desk at work
Floxy: my problem now is to obtain another cellular and a new line because with it
Floxy: I can be communicating regularly with security
waltermitty_cpa: good idea
Floxy: pls honey help me fast obtain anew cellular and a new line because I don't know how I

can be communicating with the security company and even with you
waltermitty_cpa: how much are they?
waltermitty_cpa: in USD
Floxy: everything will cost me roughly 400$
waltermitty_cpa: wow!
waltermitty_cpa: things are expensive there
Floxy: because my cellular is a nokia type yes ofcourse
waltermitty_cpa: will that be a prepaid or a billable
waltermitty_cpa: account
Floxy: we are really suffering here and to get money is not easy
Floxy: I don't understand you my dear
waltermitty_cpa: when you get the phone, does it have a certain number of minutes already on

it?
waltermitty_cpa: and you prepay for more time/
Floxy: No, you just buy the phone from shop and then, go to the company that gives the line

and you pay about 50$ for the line and they issue you immediately
Floxy: then you start making your calls at once
Floxy: it is automatic
waltermitty_cpa: ok
Floxy: if I can get money tomorrow, by next tomorrow, I'll be on line again
waltermitty_cpa: look, there is a WU office downtown...I am just not sure they are still

open. Let me call them...brb
Floxy: honey, what is WU office?
waltermitty_cpa: western union...they can send money anywhere in the world
Floxy: oK
Floxy: It's good
Floxy: But are they fast?
waltermitty_cpa: usually within a couple of hours I think]
Floxy: Is that so?
waltermitty_cpa: Darn, I got their answering machine
Floxy: WHICH MEANS THEY4VE CLOSED
waltermitty_cpa: I may have to go there in person
waltermitty_cpa: They may just be busy
Floxy: ok dear pls try for me
waltermitty_cpa: What I will need is the name and city to send it to
Floxy: you can use my name
waltermitty_cpa: You will have to show identification
waltermitty_cpa: ok
waltermitty_cpa: and the city
Floxy: WILLIAMS FLORENCE
Floxy: FRANCE AMERIQUE T/VILLE
Floxy: ABIDJAN COTE D'IVOIRE
waltermitty_cpa: You will need a security question also. I will make make the message..."who

loves floxiy" and the answer will be "steve erkle" No one would possibly guess that one
Floxy: OK
Floxy: but you will have to inform me again in my mail box so that I can know
waltermitty_cpa: Will do... I had better get moving on it now
waltermitty_cpa: Talk to later my dear
waltermitty_cpa: I also have an appointment down in that area
waltermitty_cpa: I will be back in about 7 hours
Floxy: ok honey will be expecting your mail in the next maybe i hr
waltermitty_cpa: I have a new client who wants to invest about $600,000
Floxy: ok 7 hrs which mean our tomorrow
waltermitty_cpa: and my commission on that is $6000
waltermitty_cpa: oh yes, the time change
waltermitty_cpa: I will email you then
Floxy: what is the time there now?
waltermitty_cpa: 1pm
Floxy: THIS IS 5.50pm our time
waltermitty_cpa: wow
Floxy: pls honey I will be expecting a positive response from you as soon as you can so that

by monday, I will be on line again
waltermitty_cpa: very good... I will send another picture also
Floxy: You know I will start communicating with the security company on monday
Floxy: I will be expecting the picture tomorrow as well
waltermitty_cpa: tell them to hurry up and contact me
Floxy: Can I free you to go now?
waltermitty_cpa: Be good
Floxy: I'll do that first thing on monday
waltermitty_cpa: I have to leave
Floxy: Ok honey have an enjoyable week-end and dreamm good of me
Floxy: I kiss you all over
waltermitty_cpa: I will hold my pillow and pretend it is you
waltermitty_cpa: ALL OVER!!!
Floxy: thanks dear
Floxy: Ok bye
Floxy: God bless you

Quote:

Hello darling,

Goodmorning and happy sunday. I hope you will go to sunday service this morning. Pls always

pray to God because he is all. If not for God's mercy, arm robers would have shot me death

yesterday. I will go to service this morning and testify the protection of God over my life.

Were you able to send the money yesterday? Pls dear, I am still waiting for your help so

that by tomorrow or next, I will be on line again.

I am waiting for your photo. Here is mine again.

Love you.

Florence

Now is it just me, or did she suddenly grow new hair... I guess it could be a wig, but the pic still seems different...

Quote:

I replied..

Sweetheart:
When I went to the Western Union office, they were
closed, so I have made plans to go there on Monday.
Because of anti terrorist precautions, I may have to
split the money up into 2 different transmissions,
since I plan to send a little more than just the $400
that you asked for. Once I get it done, I will send
you an email with the control numbers. Just remember
the secret question....

I do have to say that this was a refreshing change though....my ladette was pretending not to know how WU works...

She also sent me "Ken's" photo....typical ugly arsed lad, so I am not including it... But now it is time to make her sweat a bit...
oops...here is her pic
http://phpimage.com/images/OpusDaPenguin/floxy2.jpg

more later