Scambaiting for the hearing impaired

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So far every bait I've done seems to end up with my bait dropping off the line after 2 or 3 emails. I guess I was coming on a bit strong. Anyways, this one's stuck around a little longer, and considering it took the guy 3 emails to get more than a name out of me, i have a feeling it's going to be a long and beautiful relationship.

Cast of characters:

Kelvin, AKA Suzana Kelvin, AKA Dr. Kelvin, AKA Jack Kelvin, AKA Kelvin Komo Jack: Our venerable scammer (who can't seem to decide on a name)
Lessa Biann: Deaf mute CEO of Macrotech Toys, Inc.

To: Lessa Biann
From: Dr. Kelvin
Date: 8/6/05
Dear Sir /Ma,
First, I'm soliciting your utmost confidenciality in this Transaction.
I am Kelvin , Deposit Accrediting Officer of a Security company in
Lagos Nigeria. I came to you in my private search for a reliable person
to handle this confidential transaction, which involves huge sum of
money to your country.
The Proposition: A foreigner an American, late Morris Thompson who died
on January 31 aboard Alaska Airlines Flight 261, which crashed into the
Pacific Ocean not far from Los Angeles, while returning from his
country from a business trip. He deposited with us at our security
company a
consignment and the content of the consignment is worth US$11Million,
having heard of the tragic incident involving late Morris Thompson the
security company now expects a next of kin as beneficiary. Valuable
efforts have been made by the security company.s management to get in
touch with any of his family's but I personally found out that he died
with
his wife and daughter that is known to us.
The only name of next of kin given to us by late Morris Thompson
unfortunately was with Him in the same flight that crashed, and this is
unknown to the security company.s management. I'm taking this advantage
in
order to better my life and that of my family, I now decided to seek
your permission to have you stand as next of kin to late Morris
Thompson,
so that the consignment containing the money be released to you as the
next of kin.
All documents and proves to enable you get this fund will be carefully
worked out, by the lawyer that will be employ to work on your behalf .
You can take time and verify from the website as shown herein
forconfirmation of the crash,
<http://edition.cnn.com/2000/US/02/01/alaska.airlines.list/>
(Well, at least he's mixing a little fact with his fiction)
I am assuring you that this transaction and its procedures is 100%
legal and risk free involvement. Your share stays while the rest will
be
for myself. The sharing of the fund between the two of us will be as
follows: 30% of the total sum will go to you for your effort and
commitment
to the success of this transaction. 70% will be for us here. As soon as
I receive an acknowledgement of the receipt of this message in
Acceptance, I will immediately start up with the process. If this
proposal is
acceptable by you, kindly reply me immediately you get this mail.
I want you to also furnish me with the following:
1)Your full names
2)Your contact address
3)Your telephone/fax numbers
I will have to apply for the release of the consignment in your favour
as the next of kin.
Finally, note that the security company officers/management does not
know the contents of the consignment but as the Deposit Accrediting
Officer of a Security company, I happened to have the privilege of
knowing the content of the consignment, Late Morris Thompson declared
the
content of the consignment to be his personal effects.
Thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation and I shall give
you more details on what we are to do to claim the consignment without
any hitch.
Yours faithfully,
Dr Kelvin :NB: Please send reply via my alternative email
[email protected]

Nothing out of the ordinary so far, let's throw lil Lezzie into the mix and have a little fun.

To: Dr. Kelvin
From: Lessa Biann
Date:8/6/05
Dear Dr. Kelvin,
This certainly seems like a golden opportunity, doesn't it? Well, let me tell you a bit about myself. My name is Lessa Biann, but please feel free to call me Lez or Lessie. I am the CEO of Macrotech Toys based in New York. We create toys and gag gifts specifically designed for use by blind, hearing impaired and mentally challenged children. Our biggest sellers to date are our Drooling Drew dolls and the Obnoxiously Loud Beeping Device. The latter, of course, is for our hearing impaired friends.
As for my address, well, I don't exactly have a set address as I do much of my business on the road. However, I can set up a drop site for any correspondence if such is needed in the future. Fax, I have none. And I started my company because I myself am a deaf mute, so I'm afraid phone conversations are also out, unless of course you have TextPhone, in which case I'd be happy to take your calls.
Please get back to me at your earliest convenience and we'll get this show, as they say, on the road.

Until next time,
Lezzie

The next day, I get the another email. Obviously, mr mugu doesn't know what a deaf mute is, because once again he gives me a phone number and asks for mine. Even more strange, Dr. Kelvin sends me a picture of his passport stating his name as Jack Kelvin, from an email address naming him Suzana, and yet he just refers to himself as Kelvin. I think our poor boy's a bit confused.

To: Lessa Biann
From: Suzana Kelvin
Date: 8/8/05
Dear Less,

Thank you for your prompt response to my email and the content therein are noted.

It痴 true that one has to "be hesitant of such a transaction" but you must know that Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serve to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.

Sure, we may at present reside in different countries, speak different languages, have different religious beliefs and even skin colors, work in different occupations, eat different foods, wear different clothes, and so on but I can assure you that it doesn't matter for the man who trusts men will make fewer mistakes than he who distrusts them, "Trust men and they will be true to you; treat them greatly and they will show themselves great".

with this in mind I wish to give you more insight about the transaction. Firstly you must provide me with your mailing address because it is very important as it would be used in preparing the required legal documents.

We shall use the information to prepare the necessary documents for the application for the release of the consignment to you as the heir/next of kin to late Morris Thompson.

Before the letter of claim, however we will obtain the Letter Of Administration. This document is used in a situation when the deceased dies without leaving a WILL behind. This document gives absolute powers to you to administer/claim the estate/property of the deceased, as it will be obtained from the Federal High Court. I shall also provide the certificate of deposit to you, this is the document issued to a customer after he or she must have deposited any thing in the security company.

Note the security company has two-collection center, one in Europe and the other in North America. That of Europe is in London and that of North America is in Canada, but I was informed that it is possible that the consignment can be shipped to you in America under a special arrangement. Immediately we obtain the legal documents, we shall use it to apply for claims of the consignment as the heir/next of kin of the deceased. In this vain, I would want you to send me a copy of any valid identification.

Remember the security company officers does not know the true contents of the consignment as it is now it is only me, you and late Morris Thompson that knows the true content of the consignment.

Finally, you should have it in mind that this transaction must be kept in utmost confidentiality and top secret.

I want you to understand that this transaction is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I want us to grab it. I want you to see this transaction as a big project that you have to put all your time and energy into. You must have to trust me as much I as trust to want to entrust such a large sum of my to you. Find attached to this email is a copy of my international passport.

You can reach me on this telephone number if you wish to talk to me further about the transaction: 234-80-32265363.

I await your prompt response.

Best Regards
Kelvin

Horribly obvious photoshop hack job aside, I am immensely grateful for his proof of identity. I'm not so happy though that he didn't pay attention to what I told him in my first email. I feel that it is my duty to correct him on a few points.

To: Kelvin
From: Lezzie
Date:8/8/05
Dear Mr. Kelvin,

As I told you in my previous email, I have no permanent address. I recieve all of my mail through my company, Macrotech Toys, and anything sent there i won't even get for months as I am constantly on the road, promoting my company's goods. Again, as I am a deaf mute, I am unable to use the phone. for now, I'm afraid email will have to do, and when we come to the point where mail correspondence is needed, I will give you the address of the hotel in which i am staying or will be staying at the time of the correspondence's arrival, and you can send it there.

Sincerely,
Lezzie

I guess he learns to read english a little better the second time around.

To: Lessa Biann
From: Kelvin
Date: 8/9/05
Dear Lezzie,

Thank you for your mail.

The address I am asking for is not to deliver any thing to you, it is an address that the attorney will use in the preparation of the required legal documents. Without an address the court would not issue the documents because it is customary that they have an address of the beneficiary, therefore you should go ahead and send me an address now so that the attorney can start his work.

Please do that as soon as possible.

Regards

Kelvin

Well, I forget to check my email that day, so I get back to him the next day. In light of the fact that he doesn't wish to actually send me anything, Less Biann sees no problem with giving him her fake address in New York City. She also begins to be a little curious about Mr. Kelvin's polymorphic name, and calls him on it.

To: Kelvin
From: Lezzie
Date:8/10/05
Dear Jackie boy,

Ah, well I suppose that's okay then. The address to my main estate is 1260 6th Avenue
New York, NY 10020, but as I stated earlier, I'm out of town. As a matter of fact, I'm out of the country, in Europe right now on a sales tour. I don't expect to be back in the US for at least 2 months, maybe more.

Toodles!
Lezzie Biann

PS: I've noticed that your passport says Jack Kelvin, your email says Suzana Kelvin, and you refer to yourself as Kelvin like it's your first name. Which would you prefer I use? To be honest, it's a little confusing.

PSS: If you get multiple versions or copies of this email, please just disregard them. My email's been acting really funny lately.

Just to be annoying, I send him that email about 6 times.

The next day, our friend writes back, and the mystery of the rapid name change is solved.

To: Lezzie
From: Kelvin
Date:8/11/05

Dear Lezzie,

Thank you for your mail.

My wives name is Suzana, that is why I used it. I am Kelvin Komo Jack and Jack is my last name.

I have received your address and I have since forwarded the information to the attorney that would help us obtain the required legal documents and he said he is going to start work immediately.

Your being in Europe is the best thing that can happen to this transaction because it would be easy for your to go to London and claim the consignment.

I shall give you more details immediately we have the required legal documents.

Regards

Kelvin

If Kelvin is his first name, then why is it his wife's last name? Oh well, I suppose I could let him off the hook. Just this once, though.

To:Kelvin
From: Lezzie
Date:8/11/05
Dear Kelvin,

Now the name makes a little more sense. I was a little confused there. Never heard of Jack as a last name though. Very interesting. I have a few friends who use Jack as their first name. As a matter of fact, I've got two friends, Jack Mehoff and Jacoby Nimbull who're getting married in January over in San Francisco, where I'm sure you heard they recently legalized gay marraige. Strangely enough, their minister's name is supposedly Jack McFarland. Go figure. Anyways, it turns out that London's on my itinerary and I should be arriving there in two weeks. I think I could squeeze in some time for you while I'm there, but you'll have to give me at least a ballpark of how long it's gonna take to get this done. After all, I'm a very busy woman.

Ta,
Lezzie

That's all for now, I'll keep it updated as more comes in.

Guest

To:Lessa
From: Kelvin
Date:8/12/05
Dear Lezzie,

Thank you for your mail.

Jack is like an adopted name given to my great grand father by the colonial masters, that is how he started answering the name.

We back to the transaction, if we are able to obtain the required documents by Monday as the attorney promised then we would be able to conclude by next week. However, it all depends on the security company.

I however, have one problem since you cannot hear when you are spoken to, how then can you travel to London to claim the consignment. Please I am sorry if I have insulted you but please just explain to me.

How is you business trip?

Have a great day.

Regards

Kelvin

I don't have a chance to get online for a couple of days, but he seems patient enough and doesn't send me any follow ups.

To:Lessa
From: Kelvin
Date:8/15/05
Dear Kelvin,

First, I must apologize for my late reply. while flying from germany to italy, my private jet experienced very severe turbulence that damaged the starboard wing badly enough that we had to make an emergency landing on an old abandoned airstrip about 200 miles from Rome my pilot was lucky enough to find. The plane was in no shape to fly again, and of course there were no people in sight, so I've spent the last few days walking and hitchhiking my way back to civilization. Fear not, however, I am alive and well. Like my father always said, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. On a further up note, I've had a chance to see some beautiful italian countryside.

Anyways, you wished to know how it is i would be able to pick up the consignment in london. Well, in addition to being able to read lips quite proficiently, I also am fluent, as are most deaf people who have been so for any extended period of time, in ASL (American Sign Language.) Of course, most hearing people cannot understand ASL, so I have a translator accompany me to all of my meetings and appointments. I should have no problems picking up the consignment.

I'm sorry if I missed the monday deadline. It shouldn't happen again. I'll be taking the train from now on whenever possible.

Lezzie

It always dumbfounds me how stupid these scammers are. How they ever make money is beyond me. Somehow, he actually buys my plane crash story. Of course, it doesn't faze him much as long as I'm still willing to complete our transaction, so he doesn't dwell on it too long.

To:Lessa
From: Kelvin
Date:8/16/05
Dear Lezzie,

Thank you for your mail.

I am sorry to hear about the problems you had with your plane, thank God you are okay.

It will be very good if you go there with an translator.

We the attorney said that he has gotten the required documents, that he shall bring them to me as soon as possible. Immediately I have them I shall send copies to you.

Regards

Kelvin

To:Lessa
From: Kelvin
Date:8/17/05
Dear Kelvin,

That's good to hear. I have some additional good news for you. Because of the accident, I've moved my itinerary around a bit. I will be leaving for london a little before I was originally scheduled. I shall be flying in tomorrow night, and I'll be there for the next 3 weeks.

Toodles!

Lessa

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