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NLAM
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Posted:
Tue Jul 19, 2005 9:45 pm |
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He's cute, 'cos he's so stupid - perfect for a newb like me
(Comments in italics not sent!)
Original letter:
From : <[email protected]>
Reply-To : [email protected]
Sent : 17 July 2005 15:06:32
Subject : From: Mr. Jim Smith.
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From: Mr. Jim Smith.
26 Kesington Court,
London, England.
Dear Friend,
I am the above named person but now undergoing medical treatment in
London,England.
I worked with British Railway Commission in Chelsea England for over a decade
in the year 2003. (Who? - Google brings up a whole bunch of 419 stuff, how peculiar)I deposited the sum of �5 Million (Five Million Pounds sterling) in a Vault
with a Security/Finance House in UK. (Blimey, well paid then... will ask about that soon ) Presently, this money is still there.
Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next 150 days
due to cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke. Having
known my condition I decided to donate this fund to an individual or better
still a God fearing person who will utilize this money the way I am going
to instruct here in. I want an individual that will use this to fund and
provide succor to poor and indigent persons, orphanages,and above all those
affected in the Tsunami in far Asia.
I understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision
because I do not have any child that will inherit this money and my husband
relatives are not inclined to helping poor persons. I do not want a situation
where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for
taking this bold decision. I am not afraid of death
hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom
of the
Almighty. I do not need any telephone communication in this regard because
of my health, and because of the presence of my relatives around me always.
I do not want them to know about this development. With God all things
are possible.
As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the
Security/Finance
House in UK. I will also issue them a letter ofauthority and change of
ownership certificate that will empower you as the original beneficiary
of this fund through my Lawyer. I want you to always pray for me. My happiness
is that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Whosoever that wants to serve
the Almighty must serve him with all his heart and mind and soul and also
in truth.
Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply
will give me room in sourcing for an individual for this same purpose.
Please assure me that you will act according to my specification herein.Hoping
to hear from you as soon as possible.
Thank you and May the Almighty bless you.
Yours sincerely,
Mr.Jim Smith (Benefactor).
Email: the one I'm using to send bait - please feel free to clog up the others
Hmm, he must have had a gay marriage. Or perhaps the "Mr" is a typo? But a pious and talkative lady of uncertain age wants to help:
From: me@hush.com
To:
Subject: your email
Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2005 16:23:41 -0700
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mrs Smith wonder if he'll notice the sex change I've imposed on him?
I was very touched by your e-mail and so sorry to hear that you are
very ill. My own twin sister had cancer a few years ago but is
fortunately in remission right now. During that difficult time I
found comfort in the Lord and am answering your letter as a
Christian.
I holidayed in Fuket (ooooh, I'm gonna have some fun with that one!) in Thailand before the tsunami last year and
made friends with some of the families. We have sent toys and
blankets to some of the children who were orphaned out there but
there is so much more to be done. My friends and I want to register
our organisation as a charity - Together Women Aid Tsunami. What do
you think of this name?
I am so honoured that you chose to send your letter to me and hope
that you will send details of your requirements by return.
I and my friends pray for peace for you.
Yours in Christian love
Patricia Macmillan
He bit my hand off...
From: Jim Smith
To: me@hush.com
Subject: THANK GOD I FOUND YOU.
Date: Mon, 18 Jul 2005 17:42:49 -0700
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Patricia Macmillan,
How are you today? Well, I must confess to you that i feel relieved by your reply. I have not requested for a dine from you rather i am prepared to meet the legal fees for a change of beneficiary. All i need from you is your trust and utmost confidence that you will not convert this money to other purpose it was not meet for. I have discussed at length with my Attorney concerning a change of Beneficiary in your favour as the benefactor. He has ascented to assist with all the legal modalities. He demanded for a legal fee of 15,000 US dollars. Infact, there is nothing to worry about. I going to instruct my local Bank Manager on tommorrow to close my account and effect payment to him so that by the close of work on Wednesday, all necessary documentation must have been put in place. I want you to understand that i took this bold step not because i am foolish but because i have not live so well and i would not want this money to be spent lavishly when others are out there suffering.
There is nothing to worry about. You may be wondering how i got your email. Well, it was due to my endless search for a God fearing person to confide in that i got your email. Infact, i am instruting you to keep 10 percent of this money for youself and make sure that you use the remaining for the less priveledeged. For your own good, make sure you act accordingly.Though, i do not have any other funds to rely on but i feel fulfilled.
I require the following details from you. Your full names, Your full contact address and Your telephone numbers as soon as you recieve this mail.
Regards and God bless you. Please always have me in prayers.
Mr. Jim Smith.(does that mean he noticed the sex change?)
Well, as you can see, he's offered to pay all the legal fees. There's nice. Poor Pat is going to be *so* confused when he asks for them. And when she gets excited her sentences get a bit long too....
From: me@hush.com
To: Jim Smith
Subject: Re: THANK GOD I FOUND YOU.
Date: Tue, 19 Jul 2005 12:11:18 -0700
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Mrs Smith (just checking)
I am very well thank you and hope that you are not in too much pain
with your illness. I am sorry to tell you that my sister seems to
be getting ill again but we are still remembering you in our
prayers. Thank you for acting so quickly in this matter. We are
hoping to build an orphanage in Fucket and we want to name it after
you, what do you think of the name "The Mrs James Smith Memorial
Institution for Tsunami Orphans"? (sex change in perpetuity? won't he just *love* that?) Of course my friends and I
absolutely understand your concerns about the money being used for
the purpose of your intention so we agreed that you should not pay
it into any of our private bank accounts, rather we will set up the
charity for you to pay the money into the charity account. I have
asked for the forms from the UK Charity Registration Board and when
we have completed those then we will be able to open a bank account
for you to transfer funds. (of course he will need to fill some stuff out too as the donor) I am very disappointed that you didn't
tell us if you liked our charity name on the first e-mail I sent
you, please can you let me know so we can ensure that all the legal
modalities are completed very quickly (SLAP. But he will have to go look it up, I'm not telling him it again). Please can you send me a
letter to confirm that you intend to give us this money because we
have to tell the Charity Registration Board that we have a
guaranteed minimum income in order for registration to progress.
The letter must be addressed to the charity and not to me and it
must show the amount of money that is to be given to the charity
and not include the percentage that you have kindly said that I
should keep (Perfectly clear. I could have done the math, but, �5mill minus �15K costs then minus 10% of the balance for me - or is that �5mill minus my 10% THEN minus �15K? We will need to be absolutely clear on that one, might take a few e-mails :angel:). Thank you very much for your kind prayers.
Yours in Christian love and wishing you every blessing.
Patricia Macmillan
If he forgets to ask how my sister is then she will hack my e-mail account. Her brain tumour will be giving her Tourette's syndrome, how sad. When he gets upset about being addressed as a woman I am going to be *so* mortified and distressed, but my nice lawyer will give him a good slapping for lack of clarity on his gender and marital status
Wonder how long I can string him along before the Vogons blow up the planet and we have to start all over again?.... |
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