Rex Enefex and his adventures with Jennifer Lopez

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Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 3:42 am

Even though it's only been over a month now, this has been my longest bait as I find more and more interesting ways to stall for time. These money hungry mugus can't resist the temptation though and show no signs of quitting yet Twisted Evil

I've lost the first introduction letter, but it was the stock standard I need your help, I'm dying, I am mega rich though, help me help me letter - only this time signed by Jennifer Lopez! Oblivious to the fact that this mugu is a celebrity, my beer drinking, women chasing serial pest Rex Enefex offers to help and gets this back.

Quote:

Dear Brethren,

Greetings in the name of God, i must appoologise for not responding soonest to your email as i had to go for complete medical checkup.Pardon me for that.

I am happy that you are willimg to help, all you will do for me is to simply send your phone/fax number to my lawyer who i already have briefed about you and i am quite sure he is expecting to hear from you as soon as possible.

He is in the person of Barrister Maxwell Ejike(senior advocate),please call him on 234-803-519-7989, he will as soon as possible furnish you with further informations on what to do and how to do them as i may be too weak to do them myself.

Remain blessed and in the service of the Lord,

NB:Let me know once you have gotten intouch with the barrister

Yours in Christ,

LOPEZ J.

How long does it take before Rex gets annoying? About 30 seconds actually.

Quote:

Jennifer,

I'm sorry, I tried to contact your lawyer, but I got someone speaking
Japanese instead. I studied Indonesian in high school and although the
conversation was hilarious for the first 60 seconds it went nowhere
fast. Was that your lawyer? My dear can't you afford an english
speaking one?
Let me know what to do

Regards
-Rex

She seems to be sick a lot or distracted with other business. Which works just fine for me.

Quote:

Dear beloved brethren in christ

Greetings in the name of God, i must appoologise for not responding soonest to your email as i had to go for very urgent call in my vilage.Please i am very very sorry for that.

How is life and your family? hope all is well,thank God for that

I got your mail consinging about Barristers contact problem,but he said that it may be his secretry answerd the phone, that he was not around that time ,but he said that you should call him now,if is not going please use thise email addres to contact him. [email protected]

Dear good friend please dont forget to forward your phone-number and your fax- number,so that it will help us in comunication.

Thanks and remain blessed.
NB.Let me know once you have gotten intouch with the barrister

Yours in Christ

LOPEZ J.

Yep, Nigerian barristers hire Japanese Secretaries - that makes a whole lot of sense Laughing

Time for Rex to annoy the barrister.

Quote:

G'day Barry,

I am trying to help one of your 'clients' Jennifer Lopez with her
problem. Apparently you know about it. I hereby give myself permission
to help her in any way should the need arise. Is there anything else
you need?

Regards
-Rex Enefex

The barrister obviously missed most of Rex's idiot letter and is probably releived that he's got a probable sucker ready to shell out wads of cash. Mega bucks actually.

Quote:

Hello,
I got your mail concerning Mrs.J Lopez and believe that i do not need to start explaining how sick she is right now.It is quite an unfortunate situation that a woman of such magnitude should be going through such a terminal illness, but that is life for you.
I have the mandate to help disburse the funds which you are very aware of and as such i am acting on the capacity as her legal representative, i need to know you beter, it is pertinent that you call me on phone before i can reveal some other vital informations out to you.
Respond by calling me on my direct line(234-803-519-7989)any time at all will be okay by me.If you cant call then let me have your own phone number where i can call you to discuss properly with you.Let me know your real name and what you do for a living.
Her wish is to find a God fearing person she can enthrust her money to and who can and will use it just as she would have wanted, she is God fearing.
I have a little secret to share with you if you are willing to co-operate with me and can keep your own end of the deal, remember she has very little time left.We are talking mega bucks here let me know if you are intersted to know what the secret is.
Call me soonest
Maxwell Ejike
234-803-519-7989

Oh if anyone wants to use that number because their lonely, help yourself. Just don't mention Rex cos the bait is ongoing. Rex reads his mail, watches the Matrix and confuses his reply with the Matrix plot to be even more of a pest.

Quote:

Good morning Ejike,

I called that number but your assistant Thomas Anderson said you were
busy in a meeting. Because of the nature of this business I didn't
reveal my true Identity and just called myself Agent Smith - if he
passes on a note about it, that was me. Perhaps it would be safer if
we stuck to business on the Matrix/Internet so no one like Mr Anderson
is any the wiser.
My name is in fact Rex Enefex and I run a series of very successful
snatch and milf farms - we have 22 alone in Alabama and we're
currently exporting a lot of snatch to places like Australia, New
Zealand and Norway.
My friend I am very interested in your secret, please tell me what it
is in your next mail. You can trust me, I want this business very much
to be a success.

Regards
-Rex Enefex

Barry's not at all amused. Score 1 for Rex!

Quote:

Mr Rex,
what is all this story about you calling me and someonelse answering the phone? i am really tired of this if i cant call you on a number and you cant get me what form of bizness are we then trying to transact here? have it in mind that this is a very voluminous transaction.
I requested for your phone number youdid not send it to me what do you want me to explain to Mrs.Lopez, that i have never spoken with you on the phone?and i know nothing about you?just someone who sends me mails will recieve such amount of cash just like that? my friend you seem not to be serious and i wonder how we can do stuffs together if you know what i mean?
Basically, i have to avoid Jennifer for now because i have to have something concrete to tell her and not that you called my line and whoever picked up the phone, mind you i get calls from other foreign clients regularly so you had better wake up as i doubt your capability to handle this transaction.
I suggest you do what you can to get intouch with me via a telephone.
I can as well strike this deal out with someone else if i cant hear from you within the next few days.
There are million and one people out there willing to dive on this offer.
Best regards
Ejike.
234-803-519-7989

Rex doesn't take that lying down.

Quote:

Wait a damn minute here! You give me your number, I ring it and
someone else answers the phone? You blame me for that???! I don't know
how you do business over there, but here we take repsonsibility for
our mistakes, we don't try to blame someone else.
We're trying to help Ms Lopez here, not have a pissing contest. So I
suggest you stop getting paranoid, accept the fact that you messed up
and we get on to business. Do you understand?

-Rex

More very soon....
_________________
schrom seeds

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 3:58 am

Greed overules everything else and Maxwell keeps hanging on, just.

Quote:

Look mr. Rex, you are not the only one who calls me from a foreign country okay?Give me your own number and let me do the calling,i am tired of these claims of someone else picking up my calls.i have meeting with mrs. Lopez on the 21st and she definitely wants to know how we are faring, so send me your number fast.
Maxwell.

He wants my number? He can have it!

Quote:

You have a very rude manner Maxwell - are you a c**t to all your
business partners or is it just me? My number is 206-350-2493. If i
don't answer, leave a message. You do know how to do that don't you? I
look forward to your call.

Regards
-Rex

It's such a shame Rex forgets to take his k7 number off 'fax only'...While Barry attempts to communicate with fax tones, Rex decides to stir up more of a hornets nest by expressing his displeasure of Barry to J-Lo.

Quote:

Dear Jennifer,

I have to inform you that in my recently details with that c**t
barrister of yours, he's been nothing but rude and arrogant. Kindly
tell that greedy cocksucker that if he doesn't apologise, he can kiss
my ass and help goodbye.
How are you anyway? I hope your tits are in the best of health.

Regards
-Rex

She remains silent for a while - must be sick again or whatever. But Barry's fired up and ready to brawl. Lets poke him some more...

Quote:

Rex you did not have to be rude at all, you dont blame me for whatever would have been the problem.
I have the mandate to render services to a client and that means i have to use every available means to satisfy her.I would give you a call soonest.
Regards,
Maxwell

poka poka poka....

Quote:

You give me a phone number, someone other than you answers the phone.
That doesn't sound like a problem on my end...
I think you need to review your security practices and take blame when
you are at fault. Anyway, back to business. When are you going to call
me?

Regards
-Rex

Damn that fax that I *unintentionally* leave on!

Quote:

Rex, i tried to call you yesterday but, it kept on giving me a fax tone? can i know the precise time i can call you considering the time difference of about six hours. i have another number you can get me on and that is 234-802-310-2795, this is best in the evenings or at nights my own time all my lines will remain on.
Best regards,
Maxwell.

Waste money calling you? Not a chance when gmail is free mugu!

Quote:

Maxwell,

I tried that new number of yours, but I could barely hear the person
on the other end - was that you? All I seemed to get was a lot of
static and matrix noise.
Regardless, I beleive we are wasting time trying to track each other
down with the phones when our email system works flawlessly. From what
I've seen your email is secure as is mine, so why not conduct business
through this non matrix manner.
Let me know your thoughts.

Regards
-Rex

He shows great restraint now...he must smell money...

Quote:

Hello Rex,
Have you been intouch with Jennifer? Pls try and get intouch with her it is very important.
Have a good day.
Maxwell.

That's a good idea, lets talk to her, you bore the hell out of me.

Quote:

Hey Jennifer Lo (Hmmm, maybe I could call you J-LO for short),

How are your funbags? E-Dyke the Barrister asked me to send you an
email - is everything okay? I have to tell you again that he's very
arrogant, I know that means he's probably cheaper than a really good
barrister but shit J-Lo, you've got all that money, couldn't you hire
a nice one?
Anyway please fill me in before you shuffle off the mortal coil so to
speak - I sincerely hope this email doesn't find you stiffer than me
first thing in the morning.

Lots of love tight ass,
-Rex

And just in case the barrister is interested at all, Rex tells him what's going on.

Quote:

Hello Maxwell,

I sent her an email a few days ago but haven't heard back since - is
she doing okay?

Regards
-Rex

Is she dead yet? Please say yes...

Quote:

Rex,
She is not doing too good i must confess, i really do feel pity for her. I was with and saw what she is going through her family is not helping matters at all, they all seem too interested in the money her late husband left behind.
Please get intouch with her soonest. As i may be having a meeting with her in two days time.
Stay in touch,
Regards,
Maxwell.

TBC...
_________________
Panic Disorders Forum

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 4:09 am

Back from the dead (dammit!) Jennifer pops up and suprise suprise, asks Rex for money. Bloody legal fees I tell you...

Quote:

My dear Rex,

I must confess that things are not too good for me out here, my health is really deteroriating, that apart, my husbands family is adding to my situation. All they seem to care about is the money i have and this really drives me NUTS.

I was in a meeting with the lawyer some days back and right now he is demanding for money for his retainership and professional(legal) fees.

I do have this money but, my problem is that my family must not know that i have any monies with me if not i really would loose everything that i have got.

Rex, in the name of God please do me the favour of negotiating with him and if you can settle his bills i really would appreciate it if you can and please be very stiff with him in your negotiations obviously i must make a refund to you as soon as you have transfered the money into your account. I know you do not like his person but do this because of me.All i want right now is to hear that my money has been transfered out of the reach of these greedy bastards that call themselves my inlaws. I believe that the legal fees should fall within $4000USD or there about, but you must still negotiate with him.

I am stuck with him because he is the same person my husband has been using and he knows so much about us, he is begginning to sound really jealous about my closeness with you and i have told him that he is only here to do as i say because that is what he is payed for,

Never mind his bragardness, we might not be needing his services soonest.He is banking on the fact that no member of my family ought to know about the money so i am taking it easy with him for now, until all this is over.

Please endeavour to contact him once you recieve this mail and conclude the negotiations. n/b keep me posted on every details of your transactions and do not let him know how much trust i have for you i need him to be in the dark.

Expecting your soonest response,

Your loving,

Lopez J

Rex is always happy to help. Or cause frustration. I can never remember which one...

Quote:

Jennifer,

This morning I woke up and caught crabs from some stale milf. This has
put me in the right mood to deal with your lawyer. Rest assured I will
talk to him on your behalf and formulate a solution.
I'll let you know how I go.

Bless your jubblies,
-Rex

Time to smack the lawyer again:

Quote:

Hey Ejoke,

Talked to Jennifer today - she says your bill is coming? How much will
your bill be? Let me know chuckles and maybe we could work something
out okay?

May the god of crabs bless you too
-Rex

I don't think he likes me anymore. His loss really...

Quote:

Rex
I have seen that you are either not a serios person or whatever? any ways for your information, my bill is $7,500usd q.e.d
Maxwell.

So much for the 4K he was tell Jennifer! Bloody greedy mugus! Time to throw a spanner into his rusty machinery!

Quote:

Ejike,

Unserious? Me being unserious? I asked you what your bill is and you
take a damn week to get back to me!! It looks like you're being
unserious about your dear client Jennifer Lopez - you're probably one
of those greedy money hungry barristers that prey on innocent people
like the fine behind of Ms Lopez.
Anyway I talked to a few friends who did lawful school and they say
that $7500 is an absolutely rediculous, especially cos you're an
arrogant c**t. According to the internation law reform rule of 1997,
subsection C of the book of Marcel versus Wallace, the most you can
charge a terminally ill client on the verge of death is $2000 US. Now
are you going to change your bill or should I inform Ms Lopez that
you're trying to rip her off? Cos I don't know what it's like over
there, but I'm sure dipshit barristers are a dime a dozen sunshine.

-Rex

Rex succeeds in irritating him beyond beleif, but the madness has just begun!

Quote:

Rex,
Whatever you might have discussed with your so-called friends the least i can take is $4000.
For your information, i am not trying to rip off Jenifer for no reason except the ones out of your imagination.I never took two weeks to respond to you mail as you claimed maybe you think you and Jenifer are my only clients too bad if i depended on both of you.
I have worked with her late husband for years and he has never complained or insulted me as you are doing right now, but anyways like i stated earlier, $4000 is my bill if that cannot be afforded then you guys can go ahead and look else where and dont threaten me with that shit of discussing me with Jenifer.
Get back to me ASAP.
MAXWELL

Stir the pot, make it bubble....

Quote:

Ejoke
Hmmm, it seems you woke up on the wrong side of your coffin this
morning. Not to worry though, I grow tired of these cockfights we've
been having (everybody knows mine is bigger anyhow). I will pay these
so-called fees to you - what's the best way to get the money your way?
Do you take cheques? Do you know how Jennifer is going too? I haven't
heard from her in a very long time....
-Rex

_________________
Methadone Rehab Forum

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 4:29 am

It shouldn't be that hard to squeeze a death threat or two out of this monkey I'm thinking

Quote:

Do you take delight in just insulting me, whatever your reasons maybe i do not understand, what do you mean by ejoke is that supposed to be my name or what. I have to let you know that i do not find that funny at all.
I might need to discuss you with Jennifer maybe she will be in a better position to talk with you on this issue if we must work together for a common goal.
Anyways, i do not take cheque i can take payments via western union money transfer and if that is okay by you let me know because that way i believe is the easiest way and most convenient. I will forward instructions of payment to you based on your reply.
I believe we need to put differences away and sort out Jennifer as quickly as possible.

Regards,
MAXWELL .M. EJIKE

Peace? Well for a limited time only matey and only if I get the final say.

Quote:

Ejyke,
Yes you're right my friend, enough of this dick shaking, my dick
reigns supreme and that's the end of that story. I have never used
Western Union before, please let me know what I have to do to send the
$3000 over to you. We must work together on this ekike, lets put away
our love trumpets and help dear Jennifer.

Rex

P.s I don't understand, I am insulting you? Is this a jealousy thing
here because my weapon of mass destruction is larger than yours? I
wish you would stop being so damn paranoid Ejike, not everyone is out
to get you. Even if you do have a small member.

Jennifer pops up in my sights but I forget to load the shotgun. Bugger.

Quote:

Dear Rex,

Compliments of the day to you and i hope you are in good condition? how are you coping with the lawyer, ihope you guys have made head way?

I want to know if you have finalised on the payment if yes please that will give me great joy so we can move on with the transfer of the fund,

Rex, you know how much trust i have in you and all things being equall the transfer should commence within the next few days.

I am really under a lot pressure from my inlaws the greedy bastards cant just stop thinking of how to get me out of the way and lay claims to the money. They keep asking me where the money is kept and i will rather die than let any of them lay hands on a dime of the money.This is why i need you to move as fast as you can to secure the money in your account.

I am not much in a good shape presently but i hope and believe that you will fulfill all my intentions.

I always forget to ask about your health? selfish me please my dear pardon me for that, i hope you are kicking okay? thank God for you Rex, you have life and i advice you to make the best of life.

Please get back to me as soon as possible.

Yours.

Jennifer

I'm doing fine darling. I wish you'd shut up and die, but fine nonetheless.

Quote:

Hello my darling,

Yes the lawyer and I were having a bit of a cockfight shootout, but we
realised that my wang is the bigger of the two and we have sorted out
our differences. Maybe when all the business is over I can buy him a
beer and we can laugh at all the hookers outside the pub or something.
Angel my health is good, thank you for asking. I did have a nasty rash
a couple of days ago that I caught from a wild milf, but it's cleared
up now, that magic magic cream from Thailand really does work.
Have faith my love, soon this business will be over and you'll be able
to get rid of your greedy family. In the mean time I hope whichever
god you worship blows hot winds of healing all over your body.

Yours
-Rexikins

P.s Do you have a picture of yourself? I'd love to see the woman I
have been communicating with over the past couple of months. I will
dig out a photo tonight and send it to you. xoxo

Later that night I find the picture I'm looking for and shoot it through:

Quote:

Hello my lovely slice of skank,

I have found a picture of myself. I hope you enjoy it and I hope to
see one of you soon too my crusty little demon of dirt.

Toodles
-Rex

It's uncanny how much Rex looks like Bud Bundy from married with Children! Shocked

Ejike returns with a lesson on Western Union

Quote:

Hello Rex,

Sending the western union is one of the easiest means of sending money acrosss to people. The following information below explains the procedures you follow to get it done, you go to a western union office within your territory and do these:

Name of Reciever: JESSICA OBI

LOCATION : LAGOS NIGERIA

Amount : $3000

Question : What for

Answer : Jeniffer

This is exactly how you will complete the form given to you to fill, when this done (payment) you will have to send to me the money transfer control number (mtcn) to enable me pick up the cash and please send to me a duplicate copy of your payment receipt as i will also have to do same for record purpose. Once this is done i will have to contact Jeniffer at once so we can commence the transfer immediately.
Expecting your soonest response,

MAXWELL

Sounds easy enough, but with Rex on the case, nothing is that easy.

Quote:

Hello Rex,

Sending the western union is one of the easiest means of sending money acrosss to people. The following information below explains the procedures you follow to get it done, you go to a western union office within your territory and do these:

Name of Reciever: JESSICA OBI

LOCATION : LAGOS NIGERIA

Amount : $3000

Question : What for

Answer : Jeniffer

This is exactly how you will complete the form given to you to fill, when this done (payment) you will have to send to me the money transfer control number (mtcn) to enable me pick up the cash and please send to me a duplicate copy of your payment receipt as i will also have to do same for record purpose. Once this is done i will have to contact Jeniffer at once so we can commence the transfer immediately.
Expecting your soonest response,

MAXWELL

Time for a useless form I'm thinking.

Quote:

Hello Ejike,

The lady at the Western Union Office said that since September 11
they've updated their security and you must fill out this form before
anything can happen. Sounds like full blown paranoia to me, but I
suppose they've got to be careful of those nasty cockless terrorists
nowadays. Anyway I've attatched the form, fill it out as soon as you
can and I'll take it back to the Western Union lady to send you the
necessary funds.

Cheers
-Rex

Once I found out which baiter created the awesome form that I sent I will credit them here. Ejike takes one look, fills out half of it and sends it back.

Quote:

Rex,
The western union form is supossed to be fillrd by you and not me. The space for recievers information requires only the name of the recipient and that is JESSICA OBI, businness is not neccessary to be filled, the address is lagos Nigeria, the question is WHAT FOR and the answer is JENNIFER she will on this end when collecting the money she will simply answe the same question with the same answer.
The sender is you, you now have to fill your own information such as REX and the rest of your names, your city, state and country. Anyways i have already filled out some parts so you can go through it and complete the rest of it and once you make payments please do not hesitate to email me the mone transfer control number for that is the only way i can clear the funds.
Hoping you find this easy enough.
Have a good day,
EJIKE

Why this guy is still hanging around is beyond me. Still, I will reward his persistance...with a few slaps.

Quote:

Ejike - I have just completed the rest of the form and faxed it to my
local Western Union office. They will give me a call as soon as they
have processed it (it seems to be a slow day at the office today, so
they assured me that it won't take very long.) I have already paid by
credit card, they will give me the control number shortly.

When I get that number I'll send you an ecrypted mail (for security
reasons, don't want those dickless terrorists stealing our money) with
the control number.

By the way, who is Jessica Obi? That's not your name or Jennifers.

Cheers
-Rex

I send him some ecrypted mail to make it look very serious, complete with control number missing a digit and not much else. That should keep him amused for a bit.

Quote:

Hi, Rex,
The noey transfer control number is very incorrect, it is supposed to be a ten digit figure reconfirm and send complete information as soon s possible,
Moreover, Jessica is my secretary i hope you are not planning on you know (he laughs).
Respond as soon as possible. This si the number you sent to me 231263978 it is supposed to be ten digits.
Respond soon,

Yours Ejike.

Jessica must be that Japanese secretary I was talking to in the beggining! The one pretending to be Thomas Anderson! Well I will send you that digit monkey boy, but I won't tell you where it goes...

Quote:

Ejike,

Well I haven't seen your secretary, but if she's cute...ha ha ha Very Happy

I
talked to Western Union, apparently the number missing out of the
control number somewhere is the number 7.

Cheers
-Rex

P.s Have you got a picture of your secretary? ha ha

What do you mean you can't work out where it goes???

Quote:

Rex,
i wonder if you think i am a magician to just fix a number 7 among numbers and get it correct.
Simply resend the complete number to me amd your first and last name and also letme know if it is the same format i used in the form i sent to you. If not your money will hang out there.
See ya,
Max. M Ejike

Well if he can get shitty, so can Rex.

Quote:

Ejike,

You're being very rude again. Either apologise, or the money will hang
there for a long time. I don't like being talked to like this.

-Rex

TBC...
_________________
grand daddy purple

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 4:44 am

Like a repeating rash, Jennifer returns just in time. How convienient!

Quote:

My dear Rex

How is life,hope you are in good condition?how are you coping with the lawyer,hope everything is moving as we espect?thank God for that.

My Dear Rex, i called the lawyer and he was telling me that your controll number is not complited,and he allways shoutining on me just because of it.
please Rex what i want you to do now is to send that information and the controll number to me and send it to rawyer now,so that he will not escape from it.

i will send you my pic immidiatery we are throug with the rawyer

Thanks for you improvement God must pay you back

Please get back to me as soon as possible.

Yours

Jennifer

Not until he apologises. This is Rex's reputation on the line! (somehow..)

Quote:

I'm sorry my dear,

But I will not send him that number to either of you until that prick
Ejike apologises for being as asshole. I'm a very proud man and Ejike
has offended me, he has pissed in my backyard univited while I was
hosting a 21st birthday so to speak. I'm like a samurai with my honour
and Ejike has tarnished it. It's like he has stuck his schlong in my
fuel tank and let fly while I was paying for petrol at my local servo.

Once he apologises, I will send you both the number. You will have to
explain this to him, due to my code of honour I will not ruin my
reputation by talking to him until he bows down to me.

Thank you for your understand my little poon tang pie
-REX

P.s How's the family? Still a bunch of c**ts?

Yay! I slapped the taste out of his mouth! Ejoke comes crawling back...

Quote:

Hey Rex,
If i have spoken to you the way you did not appreciate, i must say i am terribly sorry about that i am not used to fighting with people or even clients.
On behalf of myself and my chambers i sincerely apologise and hope you do accept my appologies.
I must confess that Jennifer is not happy with me, she talked to me on phone and she was not sounding the least happy she says i am the one delaying everything and that you are not happy with me and she insists that i must apollogise to you.
I hope you accept my appologies once again.
Hoping to hear from you soonest,

Ejike

Apology accepted....for now....

Quote:

Apology accepted Ejike, now lets stop comparing cock sizes and get
back to business. Please let me know in your next mail exactly what
you need from me to get that money for your legal fees out of those
tight asses at Western Union.

Cheers
-Rex

Sheeeeee's back.....

Quote:

Dear Rex,

Any time i look at your pix i feel so happy for you, i thought as much that you must be a handsome youngman, your girlfriend must count herself lucky.

I have made sure that the lawyer sends you a mail of appology and good conduct, as i am typing now i just spoke to him on the phone instructing him to appologise.

Rex please when you get this mail, for my sake have a change of heart towards him so that we can get this over with as quickly as we can.

I am under severe domestic pressure from the greedy bastards called in-laws, i am trying to be as strong as i can be and i know it shocks them a lot.Any way enough of those unworthy bastards.

How are you today i hope you are taking good care of yourself? Remain good and know that someone loves you out here.

Please get in touch with the lawyer as quickly as possible and let me know the out come .

Yours Loving.

Jennifer.

Ejike has a go. He reckons he's my friend? When the hell did he become my friend? I never gave him permission for that!

Quote:

Dear Rex,
I am happy that you accepted my sincere appology and hope from hence we shall have a more cordial relationship and may be this time relate better as friends. I will pass this message across to Jennifer and i believe she will be happy about it as well.
Concerning the western Union, the numbers you sent to me where incomplete, it was supposed to be ten digits but you sent nine and again i would like to know if you followed the pattern i filled out in the form to you? that is

NAME OF RECIEVER : JESSICA OBI

DESTINATION : LAGOS, NIGERIA

TEST QUESTION : WHAT IS THIS FOR :

ANSWER : JENNIFER

AMOUNT : $3000 USD

Please you can also encrypt the control number if you wish to,
Rex, please i would appreciate if this can be done tommorrow being the 15th so that we can proceed towards the original assignment and i pray that at worst within the next two weeks we can get the transfer over with.I see that Jennifer is under severe pressure from some sort of idiots called in-laws, i really feel terribly sorry for her.
I am now really willing to bring out my heart and assist her out of this ugly situation as quickly as possible.
Expecting your soonest response.

Your Friend,
Ejike

Ooops, shouldn't have gone surfing for pron! Now look what Rex has done, he's been infected by a nasty virus!

Quote:

Hello Ejike,

I have been back to the weisyfzsdu o VNGKJN KJW L'KJ;KJE98E745 OQ K-91
9024E 09 1-29 0=31
312VD54V E487 SDKVJSHKJHF OSJ FOIH
JLAKLLLLLLLLLLLLLL%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%1661871&&&&&&&&&&&&&&!(!(!

-rEGATFSDAHZbKHHHH
reZX90809811@@!##$#!

It looks like the Random Mashing of Fist to Keyboard virus and it even occurs when he writes to Jennifer...

Quote:

Hello Jennifer,

My dear I lkasjdffffffff 9*@!()*Y hg kjh da97Y8 8YID& *&^*&@^( 978
9iuys )*& )*! * s& O8UDOUHD354 I7618* 8& ( 01 *&^%@# ~~~~7 Y*@#7
SUBIOUH *s *&(y*()ya HUHSUIH lLLLROO _(*!()*()#**& (*$
higs*&!o**!&!(#@)

rEGAR6E !&%^*&6
-rhOIE8 !)(* 9i (_zESZX

That gets em worried.

Quote:

Dear Rex,

I got your mail but do not understand a thing you wrote can you please write in a way i can understand?.

Moreover how are you today, hope you are in good health.

Take care of you,

Jennifer

Quote:

Rex,
I still dont understand a word of what you have sent to me is it possible that i call you on phone? do you have another number i can call you on or should i still call the old line you gave me malthough that one is permanently on fax.
Please try and send something i can read and understand so we can move on.
Just write out only the control number if the words are always encrypted.
I have attached what the mails looks like for you to understand what i mean.

Stay cool,
Ejike

Yeah, cool as a cucumber mugu. Miraculously the computer virus starts to clear...but not fully...

Quote:

Hello Ejike,

What I tried to tell you yesterday was that one of the emails you sent
had a virus on it zebra. I had a computer specialist check it out and
he told me that my computer had been infected by the
Poon.Tang/factor.exe virus which does strange things to emails
umbrella. Sometimes it makes them come out as gibberish like the one
you sent below, and sometimes it adds words at the end of sentences
that the sender doesn't notice until after it's sent multivitamin. I
am sorry for any inconvience this may cause anus. The technician
assures me that this problem should be cleared by the end of the
weekend cockblock.
It might be an idea if you scan your computer for viruses because you
could have this virus hidden in your computer too asshole. You might
also want to warn Jennifer about this virus, because it has caused me
no end of headaches nutsack. I probably won't be able to send you the
control number until Monday because who knows what this fucking virus
will do to it fucking. The phone option is out to because I have to
travel to Hamilton on the weekend to see some clients munch-munch.
Anyway, what's on for the weekend jizzbreath? I hope your family are
doing well too dim-sim.

Regards brick,

Rex datacable.

Very nasty that poon tang factor virus...it even sends itself to emails to Jennifer...

Quote:

Hello my angel ferret,

I'm sorry about the email I sent before my love monkey. What I tried
to explain was that one of Ejike's emails had a virus in it bumhole.
The technician who checked my computer found out it was the
Poon.tang/factor.exe virus that does weird things to emails, like add
extra words at the end of every sentence banana. But I never see what
happens to my emails until after I send them coffee-cup. The technican
tells me that he can fix it this weekend rectal-probe. I have
explained this to Ejike bumfuck. I just hope he understands, because
he has been angry in the past spatula. Anyway I hope you are well
assgrapes. Please send me a photo of yourself, I am dying to see what
you look like c**tlips.

Regards toothpaste
-Rex monkeywrench

_________________
Mercedes CLR

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 6:32 am

I like the addition of random words at the end of sentences. Must try that with some of my lads Wink

Guest

Dj Tricky.. that modality is hilarious sh*thead. Love your work f*cknut. Yeah, I could get used to that.. Smile

might have to try it out on a few lads!

Cheers,
EK

Posted: Wed Jun 22, 2005 7:20 am

Oh Ek trousers! It seems you've got that nasty virus too beefcake! I suggest you scan your computer quicky asswipe. Who knows what damage it might do if left unchecked moowcow! Razz

_________________
chocolate chunk plants

Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2005 4:14 am

I leave them hanging for a couple of days while I search for a part for my soon to be RX7. In typical mugu fashion they wonder what's going on and where the money is.

Quote:

Hello Rex,
I have not heard from you, are you back from Hamilton, i hope to hear from you soonest as i was on line with jennifer today and i told her that you said we hold on till monday.
Awaiting your soonest response,
Regards
Ejike

Hmm, how can Rex stall them even further? By having a nasty accident of course! Onya Rex! (I think it was Shiver who come up with this idea originally so credit to him)

Quote:

Hello Ejike and Jenniferr,

I'm sorry I'm late in replyingg to you, I was involvedd in a carr
accidennt over the weekend and I just got releasedd from hhospital
this morningg. I am okay, just a few scarss (my car is a huge wreck, I
was lucky to be allive) but they havee me on theese painkillerss which
makes focusseing verry hard to doo so I apologoise in advancee if some
off my worrds comee outt wrongt.

Noww pleaae remindd me what I hafve to do noww

Thankk yuou both
-Reegex

Awww, mugu concern. Before they stick the knife in too!

Quote:

Hi Rex,
Sorry about your car crash i hope you recover soonest, i will let Jennifer know about it, nothing much to remind about it is just that the payment at the western union amd the control numbers is what i am waiting for. The information i believe you have.
I wish you quickest recovery.
regards,
Ejike

Quote:

My dear Rex,

I am terribly sorry to hear about your accident, i hope and pray you did not sustain much injuries, please try and make sure you visit a doctor to give you proper medical checkup.

I have been talking withthe lawyer and we really discussed your accident, he is quite sorry as well and he also says i should extend his sincere sympathy to you. He promisedto contact you immediately.

How are doing with the people at the western union? have you collected the missing number? please let me know.

Take care of your self,

yours sincerely,

Jennifer

Whatever drugs they've pumped into Rex they seem to be working - he doesn't even know what planet he's on!

Quote:

Thhankj you bothth for your kinnnd worrds,

Theee piaiiin hassa been gettoing worsep and I finddd it hhardw to
focusss and connecentrate with all these drugs theyyay have punmmped
intto mee. Butt I will beee okkkay soonsh. Letss get bacckks to
businesss before the gnomeee lordsh finnnd out that we'ree steealing
frrrom the elveees. Plleaasee my little leprecournsss, teell mee how I
can geeetah to yourrrs pot of goldddd.
Ahhh keepe yourss eeyeson tha road and ye hands upoin the wheeel, bada
da da da...

Love to you, moooooojoj!

-Rexxxx is like a goshik,god!

Will Rex even snap out of his drug induced predicament? Stay tuned!
_________________
world economy

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