The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight

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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 8:03 pm

This is sort of a bait that never was, but it makes me laugh like a loon, anyway, precisely because the names were funny and the scammers couldn't get it together in the slightest.

Yes, terribly immature, but the name "Gumbi" cracked me up.

Quote:

From: Ms GCINA GUMBI

Subject: INVITATION FOR BUSINESS PARTINERSHIP
Date: 2005-02-16 07:06:22.0
Message: FROM: MRS.GCINA GUMBI.
TEL:+27- 82-345-0340

INVITATION FOR BUSINESS PARTINERSHIP

ATTN:PRESIDENT / CEO

With due respect, trust and humility, I write you this
proposal, which I believe, would be of great interest to you. I am
MRS.GCINA GUMBI, the wife of late Mr. Hayward gumbi of blessed memory,
before forces loyal to Major Johnny Paul Koromah killed my husband; he
was the Director General of Gold and Mining Corporation (G.D.M.C.) of
Sierra Leone. My husband was one of the mains of class people targeted
by the rebel forces. On the course of the revolution in the country,
prominent people were hijacked from their homes to unknown
destination.Two days before his death, he managed to sneak a written
message to us,explaining his condition and concerning one truck box of
valuables containing money, which he deposited with one of the
security company in South Africa.He instructed me to take our two sons
and move out of Sierra Leone, immediately to South Africa country.The
powerful peace keeping force of the Economic of West Africa(ECOMOG)
monitoring team intervened to arrest the situation of mass killings by
the rebels, which was the order of the day.
Eventually, it resulted into full war, I became a widow overnight,
helpless situation, without a
partner at the moment of calamity, and every person
was running for his life. My sons and I managed to escape to South
Africa safely as he instructed us.
The cash involved inside the box was US$21 (Twenty One
Million United States Dollars). So I went to the security company
where my husband deposited the money they instruct me that since I
want to transfer the money out side South Africa I will provide them
with a foreign account so that they will transfer it to that account.

Meanwhile, I want to travel out of South Africa entirely with this
money for investment in your country because of political and economic
stability and for future benefit of my children.I want you to assist
us claim this box from the security company and get the money into
your private account in your
country. You shall also source for good investment, so that we can
invest the money wisely. We have in mind to establish a rewarding
investment and good relationship with you.Concerning the money, we are
prepared to give you reasonable percentage of 30% for your kind
assistance. Also, 5% is mapped
out for any expenses while the remaining 65% will be for my family and
I. For the interest of this business, do not hesitate to contact me
immediately you receive this message for more information to enable us
proceed in earnest towards concluding all our arrangements. No other
person knows about this money apart from my family. We await your most
urgent response.

Thanking you for your co-operation and God bless you.

Best regards,

MRS.GCINA GUMBI.

Sender's Contact Information
Name: Ms GCINA GUMBI
Company: [email protected]
Address:
Phone: 27-82-3450340

I give my typical sort of response.

Quote:

What can I do to help?

Hannah

I get the usual italics and bold sort of response.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah.

Dear Sir,

Many thanks for your response mail to my proposal. I am indeed glad that you are willing to assist us.I am very much glad that you understand my condition and my two sons in another man’s country without a partner.However be informed that this transaction requires absolute confidentiality and should be kept confidential at all times.

Upon our arrival here, we tried our possible best to open a bank account (so that the money will be retrieved from the security company and deposited in the bank) but each time we were denied an account on ground that South African banking policy does not permit asylum seekers to operate bank account. Since then we have exhausted available cash with us paying for the security bill monthly to such extent that we have no money. Thereafter I opened up to a well known financial consultant here who advised me to get an overseas partner who if possible that can provide us with a non-resident account so that he can assist us to transfer the money to any account he/she might nominate overseas. Please note that this is the main reason why I contacted you.

Meanwhile, as you must have noted above based on the advice of the consultant, it is required of you to open an account known as a non-resident account here in South Africa where the money will be deposited upon retrieval from the security company for onward transfer to any safe account you will nominate in your country or elsewhere. He said that this will be the best option so that the money will be transferred bit by bit instead of one bulk transfer. In consideration of this point, I would want to known if you have an existing account here in South Africa, if note you are required to come to south Africa to claim/retrieve the money from security company also to open an account known as a non-resident account on your name where the money will be transferred into before onward transfer to any safe account you will nominate in your country or elsewhere. This will give us the opportunity to meet each other face to face and discuss our future business relationship i want (life) time business relationships. I am very much please and convinced that you are capable of handling this money when transferred into your account in your country also I find out that you have a good businesses .I will like you to invest my own part in we will discuse when you come to South Africa.please inform me when you are coming to South Africa.On receiving your reply I will contact my Attorney who will assist us to facilitate this transaction.Please l will like to have your Full Name ,private tele phone ,moble, fax numbers and your private email address for easier and confidential communication.

Wishing you all the best .

Thanking you for your co-operation and God bless you

Mrs Gcina Gumbi.

I give her a bit of a lip-flap.

Quote:

>
> Attn:Hannah.
>
> Dear Sir,

I'm not a sir. I'm a woman.

>
> Many thanks for your response mail to my proposal. I am indeed glad that you
are willing to assist us.I am very much glad that you understand my condition
and my two sons in another man’s country without a partner.However be
informed that this transaction requires absolute confidentiality and should be
kept confidential at all times.
>
> Upon our arrival here, we tried our possible best to open a bank account
>(so that the money will be retrieved from the security company and >deposited
in the bank) but each time we were denied an account on ground >that South
African banking policy does not permit asylum seekers to >operate bank
account.

That is positively outrageous! I do some work with some human rights groups.
I'm contacting Amnesty International about that. South Africa should be
ashamed of itself.

>Since then we have exhausted available cash with us paying for the >security
bill monthly to such extent that we have no money. Thereafter I >opened up to
a well known financial consultant here who advised me to get >an overseas
partner who if possible that can provide us with a >non-resident account so
that he can assist us to transfer the money to >any account he/she might
nominate overseas. Please note that this is the >main reason why I contacted
you.

So you need me to open an account. Check. Any certain bank?

>
> Meanwhile, as you must have noted above based on the advice of the
>consultant, it is required of you to open an account known as a >non-resident
account here in South Africa where the money will be >deposited upon retrieval
from the security company for onward transfer to >any safe account you will
nominate in your country or elsewhere. He said >that this will be the best
option so that the money will be transferred >bit by bit instead of one bulk
transfer. In consideration of this point, >I would want to known if you have
an existing account here in South Africa, if note you are required to come to
south Africa to claim/retrieve the money from security company also to open an
account known as a non-resident account on your name where the money will be
transferred into before onward transfer to any safe account you will nominate
in your country or elsewhere. This will give us the opportunity to meet each
other

Travel? Ooh, I don't know about that. You see, I was in a protest a few years
ago, and traveling out of country is a bit of a problem, and... Well, I still
want to help, but is the traveling absolutely necessary? I don't even have a
current passport.

Hannah

Doesn't matter. She obviously didn't read it.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah.

Dear Sir,

How are you today? Since you said you do not have current passport to travel, I had to consult with my lawyer, who assured me we can still achieve this transfer with or without your presence.

These are the steps to be taken in order to achieve smooth transfer without any risk or hitch. You will be required to provide your bank account details for submission in the bank so as to seek for Authorization to remit from the South African Ministry of Finance. The moment approval is secured, draft of the total sum would be raised in your name from the National Treasury for the transfer to take effect through telegraphic transfer to your overseas’ nominated account within forty eight working hours.

Only you must maintain absolute confidentiality to avoid eyebrows in the course of the transfer.

Awaiting urgently, your bank account details. You are free to contact my attorney, Barrister Riaan Louw on his mobile number for further clarifications, +27-73-485-8400.

Thanks and May God bless us.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.

Hannah gets a mite touchy. And manages not to ask "Did you sneeze and hit the keyboard, or is that actually your barrister's name?" Silly, I know, but that really was my first thought.

Quote:

>
> Attn:Hannah.
>
>
> Dear Sir,

Let's try actually reading my emails, shall we? I AM NOT A SIR. I AM A WOMAN.
PLEASE STOP REFERRING TO ME AS SIR.

>
> How are you today? Since you said you do not have current passport to
travel, I had to consult with my lawyer, who assured me we can still achieve
this transfer with or without your presence.
>
> These are the steps to be taken in order to achieve smooth transfer without
any risk or hitch. You will be required to provide your bank account details
for submission in the bank so as to seek for Authorization to remit from the
South African Ministry of Finance. The moment approval is secured, draft of
the total sum would be raised in your name from the National Treasury for the
transfer to take effect through telegraphic transfer to your overseas’
nominated account within forty eight working hours.
>

I can do that.

> Only you must maintain absolute confidentiality to avoid eyebrows in the
course of the transfer.
>
> Awaiting urgently, your bank account details. You are free to contact my
attorney, Barrister Riaan Louw on his mobile number for further
clarifications, +27-73-485-8400.
>
> Thanks and May God bless us.
>
> Sincerely yours,
>
> Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.
>

The account is with Charrid Finance. Account 432098BA9.

Hannah

She finally gets the gender right, at least.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah.

Dear Madam,

First I wish to thank you for your urgent response to my mail.I am very sorry for my misplacement of gender by calling you sir. am very happy you are a woman like me you can understand my current position, a woman with two sons living in another man’s country without a partner.

Did you contact my attorney?(Barrister Riaan Louw).If you have not please do.Also send your bank details immediately so that we can start processing.

Waiting for your urgent response.

Thanks and may God bless us.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs Gcina Gumbi.

Sigh. Do I have to go down there and push send for her?
I don't know it just yet, but the apparent answer is "Yes".

I lead a bit more.

Quote:

I don't think you gave me the email address for your attorney. Also, exactly
what bank details do you need?

Hannah

She throws me the bone of actually telling me how to contact her lawyer. You know, other than "by telepathy".

Quote:

Attn:Hannah.

Dear Madam,

How are you today? I wish to thank you for your efforts to assist me,for a woman that hears the voice of her fellow woman and come to her rescue.Its only Almighty God that will bless you and your family.

Here is my attorney’s e-mail, [email protected] and mobile number; +27-73-485-8400, while his name is Barrister Riaan Louw.

Account details needed from you are where my fund would be transferred. We need not to delay as we have put every thing perfectly in place to achieve risk free transfer.

Please keep me inform on your discution with him.

Awaiting soonest response.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.

I tell her where she can stick it. The money, I mean.

Quote:

Well, I guess it would be transferred to my passbook account at Plympton
National. Account number 7475TOP.

Hannah Leeds

I also (I did, really!) contacted the barrister. I even received this lovely autoreply from him. I think I copied him on the above message, in fact.

Quote:

Your mail to Barrister Riaan Louw has been received with thanks and you will be
contacted soonest.

Barrister Riaan Louw

Ummm... only... he didn't quite prove to be all that conscientious. Now, this wouldn't be so odd, but for the exchanges that followed.

He replies to me, at first, pretty normally.

Quote:

Attn: Hannah Leeds,

Do understand this transaction has procedures and your account details are incomplete. We need the swift code, account name and bank name and address.

Since you cannot provide your number, call me for further clarifications.

Best regards,

Barraister Riaan Louw Esq

+27-73-485-8400.

So, the "Barraister" is in contact. I proceed normally. He... doesn't.

So far, though, seems pretty normal. Ms. Gumbi (Darn you Monty Python. I keep picturing a ladette wearing big gum boots and a knotted hanky...)
emails me back.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah.

Dear Madam,

My attorney informed me he has communicated with you. Please do not delay.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.

Oh, I won't delay at all. Much.

'Kay, I'm a tiny bit questioning with the attorney.

Quote:

Well, obviously the account is in MY name, I gave you the bank name, and I have no idea what a swift code is. You're going to have to explain it to me. And why would you need the bank's address? You're not going to mail them the money.

Hannah Leeds

I get the ole auto-reply.

Quote:

Your mail to Barrister Riaan Louw has been received with thanks and you will be
contacted soonest.

Barrister Riaan Louw

Gumbi chimes in again.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah.

Dear Madam.
Greetings from Mrs Gcina Gumbi.How are you today?
Hope all is well ? I wish to know from you what is delaying this transfer.Is my Attorney not
co-perating or what?
Please get back to me as soon as possible hope you know what i am going through here.
I still hope and trust in you to rescure me in my problem.
Please keep me inform on your disussion with him.

Awaiting soonest response.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.

Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 8:27 pm

There really is nothing messier than getting an eyebrow all over everything. Smile

Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 8:49 pm

Now, I figure maybe there's a bit of trouble in the gang. Because she seems awfully open to the possibility that the lawyer isn't cooperating... but I'm good. I tell the truth.

Quote:

> Attn:Hannah.
>
> Dear Madam.
> Greetings from Mrs Gcina Gumbi.How are you today?
> Hope all is well ? I wish to know from you what is delaying this transfer.Is
my Attorney not
> co-perating or what?
> Please get back to me as soon as possible hope you know what i am going
through here.
> I still hope and trust in you to rescure me in my problem.
> Please keep me inform on your disussion with him.
>
> Awaiting soonest response.
>
> Sincerely yours,
>
> Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.
>
>

Well, I emailed your attorney, got the following auto-reply:

Your mail to Barrister Riaan Louw has been received with thanks and you will
be
contacted soonest.

Barrister Riaan Louw

And he hasn't bothered to contact me at all.

Hannah

I get another reply from her a few days later. Still no word from Riaan.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah

Dear Madam.
Greetings from Mrs Gumbi.I am are glad you are ok. I got your email and contacted my attorney .He told me that all the delay is from your side that he is ready to co-operate with you .He also stress that the delay is no good is this noble trasaction.He said you should send to him or to me your complete bank details and also your private telephone number so that he can contact you so as to detail you on how we can work things out.

Your urgent reply is highly needed.

Awaiting soonest response.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.

Okay, now that remark about the lawyer blaming the delay on me... that just went right up my nose. Nothing will get me royally pissed in real life like blaming a delay I'm not responsible for on me. So, I get royally ticked off.

Quote:

>
> Attn:Hannah
>
> Dear Madam.
> Greetings from Mrs Gumbi.I am are glad you are ok. I got your email and
>contacted my attorney .He told me that all the delay is from your side >that
he is ready to co-operate with you .

Then your attorney is, to put it bluntly, a big liar. Because as I told you,
the only thing I have received from him is the autoreply that reads
"Your mail to Barrister Riaan Louw has been received with thanks and you will
be contacted soonest.

Barrister Riaan Louw"

He has not contacted me soonest. He has not contacted me at all. I contacted
him as you instructed, he promised to get back to me, and he hasn't. I am
highly insulted by this horrendous, lying lawyer who gives al lawyers a bad
name. If you expect me to continue to aid you in this transaction, I demand
you fire this nasty little beggar immediately. He is, after all, apparently
lying directly to your face, and trying to take advantage of you. He probably
thinks he can lie to you and you won't find out simply because we are both
women. Stand up for yourself and your own interests. Show the arrogant weasel
the door. I refuse to do any business with a man who spreads such incredibly
boldfaced lies about me behind my back. You should, too. If this is an
indication of his honesty, he's probably trying to steal your money for
himself.

>He also stress that the delay is no good is this noble trasaction.He said
>you should send to him or to me your complete bank details and also your
>private telephone number so that he can contact you so as to detail you >on
how we can work things out.
>
> Your urgent reply is highly needed.
>
> Awaiting soonest response.
>
> Sincerely yours,
>
> Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.
>
>

As I stated earlier, I refuse to do business with such a snake in the grass as
this. He is trying to shift the blame for his own negligence and incompetence.
All he had to do was press the reply button and ask for the needed information
himself. He did not. Instead, he chose to lie to you, his client.

Find a new lawyer or kiss my help goodbye. I regret leaving you in the lurch,
but I cannot abide lying in any form, especially in my business partners.

Hannah

I demand... a trophy! Yes, a trophy! I want an apology, darn it!

And she offers it. Sort of.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah.

Dear Madam ,

Please I am sorry for whatsoever my attorney did. At this stage, we cannot change to a new attorney, considering this is a confidential transaction. He will not be happy if we look for another attorney. He might try to jeopardize the transfer at our back.Also considering he is from here he has more advantage than me.Again as he knows that the amount that is involed he might start doing something contrary.Please advice me i am like i am at the midle of the sea no going back nor front.Could you send the details to me.

Please may we work with him.If you want him to appologise to you i can ask him to do that so that you can have the mind and corage to assist me.

Thank you and God bless you.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.

I lay down the ultimatum.

Quote:

>
> Attn:Hannah.
>
> Dear Madam ,
>
> Please I am sorry for whatsoever my attorney did. At this stage, we cannot
change to a new attorney, considering this is a confidential transaction. He
will not be happy if we look for another attorney. He might try to jeopardize
the transfer at our back.Also considering he is from here he has more
advantage than me.Again as he knows that the amount that is involed he might
start doing something contrary.Please advice me i am like i am at the midle of
the sea no going back nor front.Could you send the details to me.
>
> Please may we work with him.If you want him to appologise to you i can ask
him to do that so that you can have the mind and corage to assist me.
>
> Thank you and God bless you.
>
> Sincerely yours,
>
> Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.
>

You can either fire him, or he can write me a letter of apology for insulting
me and blatantly LYING. In fact, I want a hand-written letter of apology,
signed and dated, scanned and sent to me by email. By him, personally. I'm not
having that slimy bastard just get his secretary to type up an email for him
and send it to me from his account. Nice, handwritten apology swearing it will
never happen again, or you can forget my assistance.

I can't just sit by and let him insult me like that and tell lies about me. I
can stand a lot of things, but a liar is not one of them. I want to make
absolutely sure he is sorry. For that matter, he had better apologize to you,
too, while he's at it. I can't BELIEVE he would lie to you, too. His sort give
attorneys everywhere a bad name. If he gives you any more guff, I'll call in
some personal favors and see if I can't find someone here to represent you in
absentia. He should really learn to respect his clients better.

Hannah

I figure I'll get an amusing attempt at faking a firing. Boy, was I wrong.

Here begin the lies. Or the miscommunication. Or the ineptitude. Or maybe all of the above.

Quote:

Attn:Hannah.

Dear Madam,

Greetings from Mrs. Gumbi.How are you and your family? Hope all is fine with you?

My attorney told me that he has writing a letter of apology to you as you instructed to do.He also apologize to me and promise that he will say do anything that be a delay for this transfer.Hope all is fine now i waited for your response after his letter but until now I have not heard from you.Can you send what is required from you so that we can start processing the document for the Transfer of the money I am sure you will understand what I am going through here with my two sons.I believe its God that brings you to assist me in this my problem.Please can you consider me as a woman like you and come to my aid and God will bless you.I am promising you that you will never regret any of your contribution towards the success of thisTransfer.

Get back to me as soon as possible.

Thank you and God bless you.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.

I ain't seen no apology.

Quote:

When I receive the letter of apology. Not before. I'm not letting him weasel
out of it. I haven't seen any letter from him, yet.

Hannah

Another very long silence.

Quote:

Dear Hannah.
Please comfirm if you did get the apology letter from my attorney.He call me in his office
for me to see when he send it.May we start proccesing the ducument to affect the transfer.
I hope you understand my condition here.
Get back to me as soon as possible.

Thank you and God bless you.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.

Erm, no, I still haven't gotten one.

Quote:

> Dear Hannah.
> Please comfirm if you did get the apology letter from my attorney.

I haven't. I checked my email and my fax number, even. Nothing from Barrister
Riaan Louw. He either hasn't sent it properly or he's telling you another big,
fat lie. I haven't so much as gotten an email from him.

>He call me in his office
> for me to see when he send it.May we start proccesing the ducument to affect
the transfer.
> I hope you understand my condition here.
> Get back to me as soon as possible.

I told you, not until I receive the letter of apology. I have not received a
letter of apology. He hasn't so much as said "boo" to me, in fact.

I still don't have a damned thing from him except his auto-reply message on
his email address. Is he really that incompetent?

Hannah

Apparently, yeah, he is. Because all he has to do is at least attempt a half-arsed "I'm sorry" and try to convince me to go on. Does he? Nope.
Nothing from either of them since.

What I found really odd about this non-bait is the fact that there were so many possible outs. Gumbi could have pretended to fire the lawyer, played the role "herself" from another account, written a half-hearted apology, gotten the lad playing the lawyer to at least apologize in the body of an email... something. Instead, they remain locked into the script and the roles so tightly, they let a good maga slip away for want of an attempt at an apology. I've never quite figured if the lawyer was juggling too many people or if the scammer gang was in the middle of a breakdown. The contact scammer seemed really eager to scam me, but the lawyer was indifferent, at best.

At least I got a laugh from the visual of Monty Python-style Gumby characters typing away in Lagos, though.

Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 8:52 pm

nadnerb wrote:

There really is nothing messier than getting an eyebrow all over everything. Smile

Well, if you totally avoid eyebrows altogether, you can avoid the even more fearful "raise of eyebrow". Only a few people have ever seen that and lived to tell the tale.

Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 7:22 pm

All the lazy shit had to do was write "sorry" on a napkin and scan it. That just sounds like your lad can't think on his toes very well. Maybe he'll be eaten by a predator, you know, to thin the weak and stupid out of the herd?

Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 1:31 am

That's exactly what made this so funny to me. I think they (assuming there was more than one scammer) literally couldn't get it together enough to even do a half-arsed apology email, much less an attempt at a scanned letter. It's like she kept nudging her partner to apologize to me, and he spent the entire hour at the cyber cafe looking at porn instead, or something. Laughing

Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2005 4:05 am

mrsbean wrote:

...he spent the entire hour at the cyber cafe looking at porn instead, or something. Laughing

Whew! And I was worried that he wouldn't spend his time productively!

Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 2:09 am

Well, frankly, in this case, I'd rather he be looking at porn than scamming...

Considering the level of competency displayed, I'd say it's about as profitable for him.

Posted: Sun May 15, 2005 2:34 am

I'll be danged if this bait isn't still alive and kicking. That Gumbi just doesn't give up. When I had just about given up all hope, she sends me this. This is about a month after her last email to me.

Quote:

Dear Hannah.
Greetings from Mrs Gcina Gumbi.
Have you forgoten about me?I waited for your reply to my last mail.
I want to know the lasting solution to this problem of my attorney.Do you advice me to Change
him so that we can move forward.Are you willing to assist me?
I am waiting for your urgent responce.Thank you and God bless you.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.

I'm game, maybe she's found a better partner.

Quote:

What do you mean "you waited for my reply to your last email"? I replied to
you here, and you haven't emailed me since then.

Look, I've already made myself clear. If you insist on keeping Riaan Louw as
your attorney, he will have to comply with my request to send me a letter of
apology for his blatant lies and failure to get back to me when I contacted
him as directed before I will offer my assistance. I refuse to do business
with someone so grossly rude, false and incompetent, who cannot admit it.

If your attorney sends me the letter of apology I requested, we can move
forward. If you fire the attorney and get another, more competent one, we can
move forward. As I've said before, the choice is yours. But as long as you
have Riaan Louw as your attorney and he fails to apologize for his incredible
lies and ignoring me, I cannot help. I feel my time and energy would be wasted
in trying to help you if your barrister cannot carry himself in an honest and
competent manner. Is he a drunkard or a drug addict? I really can't think of
anything else that explains his puzzling behavior.

Hannah

She gives me the new lawyer's contact info.

Quote:

Dear Hannah.

Greetings from Mrs Gcina Gumbi.How are you doing ,hope all are ok.

I have got another lawyer, His name is barrister Anthony Kumalo and his private mobile number is(27-83-965-3677)while his email address is( [email protected])

I sugest you call him and introduce your self to him. Please we must speedy every action as soon you start with him to avoid delay also to avoid my former attorney intervening In my affair.

Thanking you in the name of God.

Regards,
Mrs Gcina Gumbi.

I, of course, being the dear that I am, contact him.

Quote:

Hi, I'm supposed to be helping Gcina, and she wanted me to try and contact
you. I tried the phone number, but I got some recording about "Carrier not
supported" or something. Since we're in a hurry, here, I thought I would go
ahead and email you instead. I do hope you prove to be a better friend and
lawyer to Gcina than the last one was. He was terribly incompetent, and I'm
not sure if he was even honest. I hope you have far better integrity than he
did.

Hannah

But, alas, he seems to be addicted to porn as well. Or whatever. Grant you, he does at least manage to send me one response that isn't an autoreply.

Quote:

Attention: Hannah,

Glad to hear from you in respect of your partner, Mrs. Gcina Gumbi who happens to be my client. Of course she had told me all you went through with your former Lawyer and all I have to say is that, since you are now working with me, never you in any form contact him anymore, perhaps trying to let him know that even without him, you can still do the transaction with another Lawyer. You know this kind of approach will not be good considering the fact this transaction requires unlimited confidentiality.

Meanwhile, I was surprise you said you could not contact me but in case you dialed wrongly, try again and make sure you first of all dial your country’s dial-out code and then put these numbers, 27-83-965-3677. With this, you will get me on line and also, may I have your private phone and fax numbers for quicker communication.

You don’t need to be told about the secrecy this transaction demands. All I am assuring you is, as far as we work as one family, having a motive of assisting someone sent from God which will attract blessing unto us. Remember that as people of God, we need to be sincere in whatever thing we are doing with people as you don’t know the one sent by Angel. Why I am saying this is; I will not condone anything happening to this sorrowful woman immediately her fund reaches to your destination.

As a matter of fact, I will like you to brief me with the steps you have taken with your former lawyer although your partner has told me of her side. I want to hear from you as soon as possible and please tell your Partner to make sure she withdraws any Original document of this consignment, which she handed over to your former lawyer if any. Why I am doing all these is because I like to be Security Conscious so as to be accountable to what I know how I got myself involve in.

Waiting to hear from you soonest.

Anthony Khumalo Esq.

How far I went? You mean with mister lazybuns who couldn't be buggered to even respond? This should be quick... Figuring this is the same "lawyer" as before, I take the opportunity to insult Lou as much as possible.

Quote:

>
> Attention: Hannah,
>
>
>
> Glad to hear from you in respect of your partner, Mrs. Gcina Gumbi who
happens to be my client. Of course she had told me all you went through with
your former Lawyer and all I have to say is that, since you are now working
with me, never you in any form contact him anymore, perhaps trying to let him
know that even without him, you can still do the transaction with another
Lawyer. You know this kind of approach will not be good considering the fact
this transaction requires unlimited confidentiality.
>
>
>

No danger. The lazy-assed bastard wouldn't contact me if you put a ton of
dynamite under his keister and threatened to detonate it if he didn't reply
within a week. I doubt he's going to be contacting me out of the blue.

<> Meanwhile, I was surprise you said you could not contact me but in case
>you dialed wrongly, try again and make sure you first of all dial your
>country’s dial-out code and then put these numbers, 27-83-965-3677. With
>this, you will get me on line

No I won't, because I don't have international calling. I can't phone you.
International calling doesn't work with my phone. I don't carry it. Too
expensive, and I never call out of country.

>and also, may I have your private phone and fax numbers for quicker
>communication.

I don't have a fax number. My phone number is 206-666-3170.

>
>
>
> You don’t need to be told about the secrecy this transaction demands. All I
am assuring you is, as far as we work as one family, having a motive of
assisting someone sent from God which will attract blessing unto us. Remember
that as people of God, we need to be sincere in whatever thing we are doing
with people as you don’t know the one sent by Angel. Why I am saying this is;
I will not condone anything happening to this sorrowful woman immediately her
fund reaches to your destination.
>
>
>
> As a matter of fact, I will like you to brief me with the steps you have
>taken with your former lawyer although your partner has told me of her >side.

Nothing, because, like I told you before, the lazy cretin wouldn't even get
back to me. All he did, apparently, was lie to his client and try to blame it
on me.

>I want to hear from you as soon as possible and please tell your Partner >to
make sure she withdraws any Original document of this consignment, >which she
handed over to your former lawyer if any.

You're the lawyer, isn't that your job? Why do you have me passing on legal
advice to your client? Aren't you even talking to her?

>Why I am doing all these is because I like to be Security Conscious so as >to
be accountable to what I know how I got myself involve in.
>
>

If you want to know what's going on, talk to your client, not me. I don't know
what she did with the lawyer. Like I've said, he never bothered to reply to
me, so I've got no idea how far she had gotten with him. Not far at all if the
way he acted (or didn't act) with me is typical of his behavior. He's probably
too lazy to even steal the fund if he did have any documents.

Hannah

Long silence. Gumbi gets back to me just today.

Quote:

Dear Hannah.
Greetings from Mrs Gcina Gumbi.
My new attorney told me you contacted him.
I want to know how far you have gone.
Please keep me inform.

Thanks and God bless you.

Sincerely yours,

Mrs. Gcina Gumbi.

Dude, don't you people talk to one another?

Quote:

Yes, I contacted your new attorney. He's no better than your old attorney
apparently, as he hasn't bothered to respond since. Look, would you like for
me to arrange for an attorney for you here? I'll even pay his fee so we can
get this moving. Your selection of lawyers evidently leaves a lot to be
desired. I know lawyers aren't exactly revered and universally loved here, but
even the worse ones here answer their clients and get up off their lazy
behinds occasionally to do their jobs.

Tell you what, I'm going to see if I can find someone here to handle your
case. As soon as I find someone, I'll have them contact you. Fire the current
attorney. You're paying him for nothing. He's as big a lazy-ass as the last
one.

Hannah

I'm thinking at this point, if she bites and my latest mentee is willing, maybe we can gang up on her and bring in a lawyer in my country as a character, and force her to fill out some silly forms. If she bites on the first lawyer, maybe we can even invite my other mentee to act as another attorney. I'd love to see her bite on me hiring two lawyers, one to represent my interests, one to represent hers (mustn't be unfair, now, must we?), and let them battle it out with dueling forms and such. This might prove interesting yet!

Or it could fizzle and die a spectacularly boring death. One or the other. Maybe I should mail the lawyer and warn him he's going to go blind if he doesn't seek professional help.

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