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 Mr Caru.. The Mugu From Norway.. (On going)

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 12:49 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ok so I read about this guy in the surplus letters forum and thought Id give him ago because ussually mugu's sense my infancy at this and drop me by the second mail, so I got sick of signing guestbooks and thought Id just take on the surplus letter baits (easier ya' know).. This mugu is from Norway and seems to be dying [Shame I hope he doesn't flog out before I get my cut of the cash!!] anyway I got the usual crap and thought Id put his mind to rest and help him out.. because that is what God fearing people are for isn't it? Anyway here is how far I have got.

Any help is appreciated, this will be my first serious bait so anyone willing to help with ideas etc. please step forwards!

Dearest Friend,

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me, because, I
believe everyone will die someday. My name is Jonathan Caru a merchant from Norway, I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer. It has defiled all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medicalb experts.

I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world.

I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I
would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as a few close friends. I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul so, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth.

So far, I have distributed money to some charity organizations in the U.A.E, Somalia and Malaysia. Now that my health has deteriorated so badly, I cannot do this myself anymore. I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organization in Bulgaria and Pakistan; they refused and kept the money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them anymore, as
they seem not to be contended with what I have left for them.

The last of my money which no one knows of is the huge cash deposit of Twenty Eight Million dollars ($28, 000, 000, 00) that I have with a finance/Security Company abroad. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatch it to charity organizations.

Email Address:jonathan_caru*****

I have set aside 20% for you and for your time. God be with you.


Blah, blah.. God this God that.. Amazing how all these mugus seem to use the same tactics..

Hi Jonathan,

Please explain this to me some more. I pity you as I once
had cancer of my obiglontitisfiddler. I would be more than
happy to assist but I must know more!

Juan Mister Rhut Kanal

Tossers & co.
88 Anstilcowntink Street
(A Division of RhutKanal Industries)

Dearest Rhut Kanal,
I am most grateful for your mail, and I seize this opportunity to thank you for coming to my rescue and to also let you know that this transaction is a straight forward and legal transaction.[Oh yes I am 100% sure it is, I also tuck in my willy and think Im a woman] I am somebody with a conscience. If this transaction was in any way illegal, I would tell you straight away so that you know what is involved and decide for yourself. But it is not like that at all, and you will later see and understand that.
I hope you were not too embarrassed by my first email to you since you do not know me.[Its fine Jonathan, if only you knew where I found your email] I had no option since my immediate and extended family in and outside Norway refused to distribute my funds because they want to keep it to themselves. I didn?t know how to move the funds out and despatch it to charity organizations, so I resorted to putting fate to test and making a random contact. I got your email address from the web email directory and decided to introduce my plight and this transaction.
I am communicating with only you at this moment with regards to this transaction. And I would not have any cause to do otherwise, except you state your intention to withdraw your assistance.Just like I stated in my first mail to you, this fund is presently in a private security and holding firm in The Netherlands. I cannot claim these funds myself as a result of;
(1) I am under going medical treatment. It has defiled all forms of medicine, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts.[Bring on the experts- but thats for a later time]
(2) I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul and so, I have  decided to give alms to charity  organizations and churches, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth  It is for this reasons I am seeking for your assistance to stand as the beneficiary to the fund and  retrieve it on my behalf and despatch it to charity organizations.
All the necessary documents required to get the Funds out of the security firm are in my possession and I will be sending them to you after we must have come to a conclusion and reached an agreement. Not before.
I need you to give me your words that you will be very honest and straight forward with me when the money gets to you, So long as you can execute this transaction successfully and help me despatch it to charity organizations.Thus, I would need you to get back to me on the ollowing issues,
(1) That you are in a position to be trusted as a God fearing person with such a large amount of fund and despatch it to charity organization.[Ok yeah whatever makes you happy]
(2) That you are ready to sign a letter of guarantee with my lawyer on behalf of me due to my health problem, clearly stating the terms of this transaction, including your percentages and dispatching the  remaining funds to charity organizations, as my lawyer will be a living witness that you fulfill your promise  of dispatching my f! unds to charity organizations so that I am assured that the money would be safe in your  hands even when I am at the gate.
(3) That you are willing to contact the security company to discuss the terms of releasing the funds and bear whatever expenses (if there is any and you will remove any money spent immediately you get the funds) that would be involved so that the funds can be released and the money transferred.
(4) That you fully understand this transaction up to this stage and you are ready to proceed under these terms.As soon as I receive your reply that you are ready to proceed under these terms, then I will furnish you with all details including the company and my lawyer?s ndetails for the release of my fund and disposal to the charities. But if you have any questions up to this stage, please ask and I will be more than happy to respond to them. And I will also send you all the necessary documentations to conclude this transaction and the se! curity company details as my life is too short.
Thanks for your mail, your mail has relieved me and I pray to almighty GOD in His infinite mercy to reward you. I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it now. I want you to pray for me so that God  would forgive me and be merciful  to me and accept my soul.[I believe God will piss all over your soul, but Ill keep that to myself]
May God bless you,

John sends me 2 huge pictures of him in the hosptial typing on an ancient laptop.. about 1mb each.. clearly they were bullshit, they look like pictures that were taken in the mid-90's.. I will post them below as soon as I set up and account to host all the pics

Dear Jonathan,

You sound like a very intelligent man. It is a pity your
life will soon come to an abrupt and rather tragic end. Of
coarse I am willing to help. My word is as strong as my
right arm (If you know what I mean).[Does he?]

Please forward all further details about this transaction
to me. I have sent a picture of myself for your viewing

Juan Mister Rhut Kanal

Tossers & co.
88 Anstilcowntink Street
(A Division of RhutKanal Industries)

I attach a picture of Bill Crystal, Norway obviously dont get the Oscars!

Dear Rhut Kanal,

Greetings to you in the name of the Lord Jesus, I am sorry for myself that I have lived a life that has left me so empty inside.It is very sad that I don't have loved ones that care enough to carry out my last wishes, and that my health is failing me.We know not what tomorrow brings Although we plan ahead for only  God alone knows The pathway we must tread. We cannot know the future Not one second nor minute or hour each circumstance that we must face...

Lay only in His power.It?s vital that we live by faith From minute unto minute and trusting that each step we take He's walking with us in it. We know not what tomorrow brings We cannot see the future Nor the trials we must face  but in all things, God promised us Sufficiency of grace.

This alone should give us hope Regarding your question, why I chose you,I will like to put this to you that, after the experience I had with my family, I decided not to trust any one but God, and it is the will of God that I made a random search to seek for a God fearing person, which I found you.In his sweet, loving hands.[Oh God definately steered you into the right hands] You will distribute the funds to any charity organizations of your choice; my lawyer is only going to assist you in getting the funds out from the security company and providing you with the necessary documents to claim the funds with no risk involved, it is100% risk free.[Aren't they all?]

My lawyer will be contacting you to enable you finalize the modalities of this transaction, because I am very sick as my hands and feet are weak and my body is shaking.[Miraculous how can type such long emails in such a predicament Jonathan]Please send me your direct contact telephone number and fax to enable my lawyer open communication with you on how to proceed and secure the funds.Hence i will be giving you my lawyer's contact in United Kingdom which will successfully prepare and your contact to the financial and security company.

The lawyer's name is Barrister Hassan Ahmed .He is a well known and of high influence so he will be in a better position for this project completion and i have written him a mail concerning the writting of an application to the financial and security company where these funds are deposited concerning the change of beneficiary.And he awaits your mail.


TELEPHONE NUMBER::+447040116573

FAX NUMBER:+447092841362


May God's mercy and blessings be upon your soul.

Dear Mr Caru.

Unfortunately I cannot take any phone calls as I am infact
deaf. I was diagnosed with cancer myself, as previously
mentioned, and I had to have 2 tumas cut out of my head,
just above my inner ears, therefor I can only communicate
through means of a TextPhone which are a.) highly expensive
and b.) only available to deaf people such as myself. All
communications are to be done through emails and will be,
as you like to put, it 100% risk free.

Can you please ask your lawyer to contact me ASAP. Is he a
terrorist sir? I dont deal with terrorists anymore. I have
cleaned my life up through our Lord and Saviour Jesus
Christ (Amen!).

I look forward to your reply and helping the little
childern at the Red Cross Childrens Hospital. My secretary
went by there today to say you were donating money to them
and most of the kids creamed themselves. I thought that was
rather special..

Your in the struggle!
Juan Mister Rhut Kanal

That's all for now folks!
Gillette McAbre
Wannabe Baiter

Joined: 24 Mar 2005
Posts: 93
Location: Norway

PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Has John Carew given up on soccer and gone into the mugu business now?? Shocked

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 1:23 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

That's what I was thinking, but I cant remember what football team Carew plays for!? I was gonna slap him with that..
Master Baiter

Joined: 22 Nov 2004
Posts: 111
Location: Norway

PostPosted: Thu Apr 28, 2005 5:16 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I sent the mugu a email - 2 lines english, 2 lines norwegian. Oddly enough he responded in english. Rolling Eyes I emailed back asking in norwegian why he is writing english.

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