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 Dear Engr...

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mrsbean
Elite Baiter


Joined: 06 Oct 2004
Posts: 1775
Location: North of the Rio Grande, South of Alaska


PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2005 8:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A rather short bit of silliness where I decided to go out on a limb and be a bit wilder than usual. I think I'm best suited to straight baiting... Wink

Quote:
Dear Sir,

I have the honor and privilege to write this confidential letter to you. My name
is Engr. Mamudu Aliu. I am the Director General of the Nigerian Aviation
Ministry.

I got your contact through your country's trade index. Sir I want a trust worthy
partner abroad who is God fearing and will be willing to provide an account
Abroad were I will transfer the sum of $36.560.000.00m (Thirty Six Million, Five
Hundred and sixty Thousand US Dollars) within seven working days from the date
of application to the bank that maintains the Nigerian Aviation Ministry's
account.

This fund was raised through over valued of contracts, over invoiced and bunk
purchases that was made on behalf of the aviation industry. We are soliciting
your urgent trust worthy partner whom we will present to the bank as the
contract beneficiary of this funds. Which means you will be contacting the bank
directly under my supervision.

As soon as this fund is wired into your accounts abroad through swift
telegraphic transfer, I will fly into your country to meet you for disbursement.
You will then help me to open an off-shore account where my share of the money
will be kept for some time for investment purposes You will be given 20% of the
total sum, for your assistance.5% has been set aside for contingent expenses to
be incurred during the process of the transaction, while 75% will be for me and
my colleaques.

Please if you are interested, contact me through this email address for more
details([email protected]).there is need for us to start immediately,
because I will be due for retirement soon.

Best regards

Engr. Mamudu Aliu
[email protected]


A bit tired of dealing with all these engineers, I decide to play a bit dumb about that being a title...
Quote:


Dear Engr.,

I'm not a "sir", but maybe I can help anyway.

Hannah


Nothing too exciting in the reply.

Quote:
Dear Madam,
Top of the day to you and your family.
First of all,I will like to thank you on behalf of my colleagues for your prompt
response.I want to assure you that there is nothing illegal in your association
with us on this project.This business is a once in a lifetime opportunity for us
all involved that is why we have to put heads together to secure it's success,
for the benefits of us all as well as our respective families.I am definite that
if you follow our advise promptly for the complication free remittance of the
funds,which is by simply following only stipulated channels and laid down
procedures for settlement of claims and subsequent payment of debts to foreign
contractors of the aviation ministry,the transfer should be completed in a very
short time.We have the right men occupying the right official positions to help
us secure the relevant approvals necessary for the hitch-free remittance of the
funds to your credit on our behalf.We as civil servants are prohibited by law to
own or operate foreign accounts,or get involved in contracts.

Dear partner,I will send you a more detailed and self explanatory message when I
have discussed your response with my colleagues on monday,as soon as receive the
necessary informations from you,we would file in the application making you the
officially acknowleged beneficiary for the funds arising from a contract which
has already been executed and commissioned.
Madam,I will appreciate you sending to me your confidential telephone and fax
numbers so that I could call you over the weekend to formally introduce and
intimate myself with you and bring you a clearer picture of how we intend to
secure the complication-free transfer of the funds to your credit on our behalf
as a contract payment for our collective benefits. That is why we request your
honest and prompt assistance to work with us as a team,as timing is very
important for success.

Thank you very much and have a great weekend.

Regards.

Engr.Aliu Mamudu.
Tel/Fax + 234 1759 8696.


So he's all "Call me" and I'm all, like, "Whatever"...

Quote:

Right. Well, anyway, Engr, my phone number is 206-666-3170, and I can be faxed
there, if necessary. I'm in and out a lot and work crazy hours, so don't be
surprised if you get the voicemail.

Hannah


Engr is a long winded dude.

Quote:
Dear partner,

Thanks for your response to my mail once again.
I have decided to give you more details and also the modalities for a speedy
realization of this transaction. I have discussed your response with my
colleagues ,and I would advise that you to read this carefully for your better
understanding. We are doing this in conformity with our desire to enjoy the
proceeds of this transaction with absolute peace of mind after the successful
transfer of these funds into your nominated account as we are going to follow
only duly laid down processes and procedures for payment to indebted foreign
contractors.
Dear partner,before proceeding to give you details of this project and the
modalities for its speedy conclusion,the issue of confidentiality in a
transaction of this nature and magnitude cannot be overemphasised, taking into
consideration the very nature of this transaction.A lot of people here within
these concerned ministries and Iím sure also in your country,will do anything
to get their hands on the kind of money we are talking about here so we must
exercise all forms of caution and secrecy.
Apart from this,the fact that its direct participants (we) are career civil
servants here who are still in active government service and would not want our
image/names tarnished or jeopardized is most important.We therefore ask you to
equally adhere promptly to our collective wish.Be rest assured that this project
is risk free and fail proof to all intents and purposes.
Being members of the Contract Review Panel (CRP), we are privileged to have at
our disposal the necessary instruments and informations required for the prompt
realization of this project.We are also the body empowered with the statutory
responsibility of giving advice on all issues pertaining to previous foreign
contracts payment.And as we have unlimited access to all past foreign contract
payment files, we shall destroy all documentary evidence relating to this
project as soon as we finalize in the next seven to ten (7-10) working days.

You must however understand that for our desired success to materialize, you
must follow our instructions strictly and promptly.Your share will be 20%,that
is a fifth of ther total contract claims.Our good fortune is that we are the
ones given the responsibility of deciding which claims are legitimate and which
are not.
(I)To commence this project, we shall put up a payment claims application(see
attachment) to the Ministry of Aviation issuing the mandatory funds release
approval/recommendations in your favor prior to the remittance of the funds to
your nominated bank account.
We shall also register your company and pay the necessary taxes for this over
here as required by law. All these shall be backdated to suit the actual
contract award and completion time frame,On paper,we shall ensure that it
appears you or your company carried out the contract,depending on whichever you
choose for this transaction.
(II)This is the most important aspect of the project because it is at this stage
that the all-important and vital fund release approval/ recommendations from the
Federal Ministry of Finance are issued. Once they are issued, it means that over
80% of the processes of the funds transfer have been concluded.
However, you can be rest assured that we have set up perfect machinery in motion
to ensure that they are issued in your favor without fail. In fact the
respective Directors-general in charge of the respective Ministries responsible
for the issuance of these funds release Approvals/ recommendations have
committed themselves to issuing these Approvals. We have the right men occupying
the right official positions to ensure success on our side.
(III)From our enquiries so far,we were reliably informed that in accordance with
foreign payments regulations and guidelines, beneficiaries at the final stage of
their contract payments are expected to observe any of the following options for
the signing of the FUNDS RELEASE DOCUMENTS.

OPTION 1

For a speedy realization of this project, by the law of contract payment, at the
final stage when all approval is being given to any contractor,
he/ she is expected to come over to the Federal Ministry of Finance to sign out
the funds. This will also enable the FMF to authenticate, verify
and inspect the sites/jobs or any supply as the case may be. It will also avoid
breach in payment, so that they do not pay to the wrong person or
company.

OPTION 2

The government of my country in accordance with the Federal Ministry of Finance
(FMF), has a new provision in the constitution,where by foreign contractors that
are unable to come to the office of the FMF here in Nigeria for authentication
and Verification on Health grounds can be exempted and allowed to use any of
their (Apex Bank) offshore Centers across the globe (Europe, London and Canada)
that is operational as at the time of request.

OPTION 3

This option, you can apply for the Non-appearance/non resident signing of the
Final fund Release Document (FFRD) to be sent to you in your office, in your
country for your endorsement. This arrangement is for contractors who by
circumstances beyond their control cannot come for the signing of the final fund
release documents.
From the above three options, I will want you to choose the one that will be
convenient for you so that we can start working on that option
immediately as you know we have limited time to conclude this project.

On approval of the application by FMF the fund will be transferred and confirmed
within 72 Hours after the endorsement exercise is completed.

We will arrange to be with you after you have confirmed to us that the money is
in your account for prompt disbursement.

We will be ready to share the money as soon as it is wire-transferred into your
nominated account. However, if you decide to help us Supervise
our investment plan, we will appreciate this and discuss the modalities.
If we must succeed, then we must all summon the courage needed to bring this
project to fruition and work together as a team.My colleagues and I have worked
out the modalities for the successful transfer of these funds.
You must therefore be ready to assist us wholeheartedly.

Full audit report and documentations is usually sent with the wire-transfer
instructions to your bank from the Apex Bank here; this will serve to handle the
source and legitimacy and application of the incoming money and explain all tax
details to your countryís revenue service.

I assure you that if you maintain the required confidentiality, the project will
be successfully concluded within the stated time frame. find attached a specimen
copy of application that I will want you to print out,fill,scan send back to me
also as attachment via email,because faxing may prove difficult due to the
inclement weather which causes disruption in power supply and
telecommunications.It is important so that we can commence soonest.
I will be expecting you to send the attached letter duly typed and signed by you
to me via email attachment, so that I can file in the application.

Awaiting your prompt response.

Engr.Mamudu Aliu.
Tel/fax # 234 1 759 8696.



Aw, man, even his claims form is boring. No horses of truth or scales of justice or even pictures of barristers in wigs.

Image

I try to stir him up a little. Gimme something to work with!

Quote:
> Dear partner,

Surely you could call me by name, Engr. After all, we're about to enter into a
business partnership with one another. It seems very cold and impersonal to
keep calling me "partner". My name is Hannah. Please use it.

>
> Thanks for your response to my mail once again.
> I have decided to give you more details and also the modalities for a
>speedy realization of this transaction. I have discussed your response >with
my colleagues ,and I would advise that you to read this carefully >for your
better understanding. We are doing this in conformity with our >desire to
enjoy the proceeds of this transaction with absolute peace of >mind after the
successful transfer of these funds into your nominated >account as we are
going to follow only duly laid down processes and >procedures for payment to
indebted foreign contractors.
> Dear partner,before proceeding to give you details of this project and >the
modalities for its speedy conclusion,the issue of confidentiality in >a
transaction of this nature and magnitude cannot be overemphasised, >taking
into consideration the very nature of this transaction.A lot of >people here
within these concerned ministries and I?m sure also in your >country,will do
anything to get their hands on the kind of money we are >talking about here so
we must exercise all forms of caution and secrecy.

Excuse me? Are you implying that my government is corrupt? You might not be
able to trust your ministries with a dollar, but I assure you, the American
government and the people who work for it are not in the habit of taking what
doesn't belong to them. Or do you just mean regular people who might overhear
about the money?

> Apart from this,the fact that its direct participants (we) are career >civil
servants here who are still in active government service and would >not want
our image/names tarnished or jeopardized is most important.

If there is, as you claimed earlier, nothing illegal about it, why would you
worry? I don't want to be involved in anything illegal. You had better clear
that up. Is this legal?


>We therefore ask you to equally adhere promptly to our collective wish.Be
>rest assured that this project is risk free and fail proof to all intents
>and purposes.

If it's risk free, why are you so concerned about keeping it quiet, exactly?

> Being members of the Contract Review Panel (CRP), we are privileged to >have
at our disposal the necessary instruments and informations required >for the
prompt realization of this project.We are also the body empowered >with the
statutory responsibility of giving advice on all issues >pertaining to
previous foreign contracts payment.And as we have unlimited >access to all
past foreign contract payment files, we shall destroy all >documentary
evidence relating to this project as soon as we finalize in >the next seven to
ten (7-10) working days.

You're going to destroy official documents!? Isn't that illegal, or at the
very least, highly unethical?

>
> You must however understand that for our desired success to materialize,
>you must follow our instructions strictly and promptly.Your share will be
>20%,that is a fifth of ther total contract claims.Our good fortune is >that
we are the ones given the responsibility of deciding which claims ?>are
legitimate and which are not.
> (I)To commence this project, we shall put up a payment claims
>application(see attachment) to the Ministry of Aviation issuing the
>mandatory funds release approval/recommendations in your favor prior to >the
remittance of the funds to your nominated bank account.

So, in other words, you're going to file FALSE documents?


> We shall also register your company and pay the necessary taxes for this
>over here as required by law.

What company? I don't have a company. Or are you going to just invent that out
of thin air, too?

>All these shall be backdated to suit the >actual contract award and
?completion time frame,On paper,we shall ensure that it appears you or >your
company carried out the contract,depending on whichever you choose >for this
transaction.

Right. So, they're supposed to believe that a grocery store clerk carried out
an aviation contract?

> (II)This is the most important aspect of the project because it is at >this
stage that the all-important and vital fund release approval/ >recommendations
from the Federal Ministry of Finance are issued. Once >they are issued, it
means that over 80% of the processes of the funds >transfer have been
concluded.
> However, you can be rest assured that we have set up perfect machinery in
motion to ensure that they are issued in your favor without fail. In >fact the
respective Directors-general in charge of the respective >Ministries
responsible for the issuance of these funds release Approvals/
>recommendations have committed themselves to issuing these Approvals. We
>have the right men occupying the right official positions to ensure >success
on our side.

So in other words, your entire organization is corrupt from top to bottom, and
maybe the government, too? How, exactly am I supposed to trust you? Can I at
least see some identification? Some documents? Something that proves you're
who you say you are?

> (III)From our enquiries so far,we were reliably informed that in accordance
with foreign payments regulations and guidelines, beneficiaries >at the final
stage of their contract payments are expected to observe any >of the following
options for the signing of the FUNDS RELEASE DOCUMENTS.
>
> OPTION 1
>
> For a speedy realization of this project, by the law of contract payment, at
the final stage when all approval is being given to any contractor,
> he/ she is expected to come over to the Federal Ministry of Finance to sign
out the funds. This will also enable the FMF to authenticate, verify
> and inspect the sites/jobs or any supply as the case may be. It will also
avoid breach in payment, so that they do not pay to the wrong person or
> company.
>
> OPTION 2
>
> The government of my country in accordance with the Federal Ministry of
Finance (FMF), has a new provision in the constitution,where by foreign
contractors that are unable to come to the office of the FMF here in Nigeria
for authentication and Verification on Health grounds can be exempted and
allowed to use any of their (Apex Bank) offshore Centers across the globe
(Europe, London and Canada) that is operational as at the time of request.
>

I think maybe option 2 would be the best. But doesn't this Apex Bank at least
have a website? I wasn't able to find one when I looked earlier. I'd like to
see what branch is closest to me and which would be easier to travel to.


> OPTION 3
>
> This option, you can apply for the Non-appearance/non resident signing of
the Final fund Release Document (FFRD) to be sent to you in your office, in
your country for your endorsement. This arrangement is for contractors who by
circumstances beyond their control cannot come for the signing of the final
fund release documents.
> From the above three options, I will want you to choose the one that will be
convenient for you so that we can start working on that option
> immediately as you know we have limited time to conclude this project.

Option 2, definitely. I would love to have the excuse to travel, and I want to
come in person to sign, if it's such a large amount of money. I don't trust
that complete confidentiality could be maintained if you sent the documents to
me. If the money is that big, I'm coming to sign in person, period.

>
> On approval of the application by FMF the fund will be transferred and
confirmed within 72 Hours after the endorsement exercise is completed.
>
> We will arrange to be with you after you have confirmed to us that the money
is in your account for prompt disbursement.
>
> We will be ready to share the money as soon as it is wire-transferred into
your nominated account. However, if you decide to help us Supervise
> our investment plan, we will appreciate this and discuss the modalities.
> If we must succeed, then we must all summon the courage needed to bring this
project to fruition and work together as a team.My colleagues and I have
worked out the modalities for the successful transfer of these funds.
> You must therefore be ready to assist us wholeheartedly.

I will, if you can satisfactorily answer my questions and reassure me of your
identity, as stated above.

>
> Full audit report and documentations is usually sent with the >wire-transfer
instructions to your bank from the Apex Bank here; this ?will serve to handle
the source and legitimacy and application of the >incoming money and explain
all tax details to your country?s revenue >service.
>
> I assure you that if you maintain the required confidentiality, the >project
will be successfully concluded within the stated time frame. find >attached a
specimen copy of application that I will want you to print >out,fill,scan send
back to me also as attachment via email,because faxing >may prove difficult
due to the inclement weather which causes disruption >in power supply and
telecommunications.It is important so that we can >commence soonest.
> I will be expecting you to send the attached letter duly typed and signed by
you to me via email attachment, so that I can file in the application.
>
> Awaiting your prompt response.
>
> Engr.Mamudu Aliu.
> Tel/fax # 234 1 759 8696.
>

I will fill it out and return it immediately upon you answering my questions
to my satisfaction. They are located throughout your letter to me, near the
relevant portions of your email. I read thoroughly, but I still want my
questions answered before we proceed. I'm sure you understand why I'm
reluctant to go ahead until I have some proof of your identity and more
information.

Hannah



He may or may not have tried to leave me a voice mail. Someone mumbled something on my voicemail. Might have been him. I nudge after a long silence.

Quote:


Hello? Have you lost my email address? Was that you that left me a voice
message? If so, it was very unclear. I couldn't understand any of it.

Hannah


I give him, after several more days of silence, the probable kiss off. But I leave the door open.

Quote:


I see you weren't serious at all about this business. Thank you SO much for
completely wasting my time.

Hannah


He has another go at me. With the same form as before, and pretty much the same mail as before. Or not. It's not like I really bothered reading it.

Quote:
Dear partner,

Thanks for your response to my mail once again.
I have decided to give you more details and also the modalities for a speedy
realization of this transaction. I have discussed your response with my
colleagues ,and I would advise that you to read this carefully for your better
understanding. We are doing this in conformity with our desire to enjoy the
proceeds of this transaction with absolute peace of mind after the successful
transfer of these funds into your nominated account as we are going to follow
only duly laid down processes and procedures for payment to indebted foreign
contractors.
Dear partner,before proceeding to give you details of this project and the
modalities for its speedy conclusion,the issue of confidentiality in a
transaction of this nature and magnitude cannot be overemphasised, taking into
consideration the very nature of this transaction.A lot of people here within
these concerned ministries and Iím sure also in your country,will do anything
to get their hands on the kind of money we are talking about here so we must
exercise all forms of caution and secrecy.
Apart from this,the fact that its direct participants (we) are career civil
servants here who are still in active government service and would not want our
image/names tarnished or jeopardized is most important.We therefore ask you to
equally adhere promptly to our collective wish.Be rest assured that this project
is risk free and fail proof to all intents and purposes.
Being members of the Contract Review Panel (CRP), we are privileged to have at
our disposal the necessary instruments and informations required for the prompt
realization of this project.We are also the body empowered with the statutory
responsibility of giving advice on all issues pertaining to previous foreign
contracts payment.And as we have unlimited access to all past foreign contract
payment files, we shall destroy all documentary evidence relating to this
project as soon as we finalize in the next seven to ten (7-10) working days.

You must however understand that for our desired success to materialize, you
must follow our instructions strictly and promptly.Your share will be 20%,that
is a fifth of ther total contract claims.Our good fortune is that we are the
ones given the responsibility of deciding which claims are legitimate and which
are not.
(I)To commence this project, we shall put up a payment claims application(see
attachment) to the Ministry of Aviation issuing the mandatory funds release
approval/recommendations in your favor prior to the remittance of the funds to
your nominated bank account.
We shall also register your company and pay the necessary taxes for this over
here as required by law. All these shall be backdated to suit the actual
contract award and completion time frame,On paper,we shall ensure that it
appears you or your company carried out the contract,depending on whichever you
choose for this transaction.
(II)This is the most important aspect of the project because it is at this stage
that the all-important and vital fund release approval/ recommendations from the
Federal Ministry of Finance are issued. Once they are issued, it means that over
80% of the processes of the funds transfer have been concluded.
However, you can be rest assured that we have set up perfect machinery in motion
to ensure that they are issued in your favor without fail. In fact the
respective Directors-general in charge of the respective Ministries responsible
for the issuance of these funds release Approvals/ recommendations have
committed themselves to issuing these Approvals. We have the right men occupying
the right official positions to ensure success on our side.
(III)From our enquiries so far,we were reliably informed that in accordance with
foreign payments regulations and guidelines, beneficiaries at the final stage of
their contract payments are expected to observe any of the following options for
the signing of the FUNDS RELEASE DOCUMENTS.

OPTION 1

For a speedy realization of this project, by the law of contract payment, at the
final stage when all approval is being given to any contractor,
he/ she is expected to come over to the Federal Ministry of Finance to sign out
the funds. This will also enable the FMF to authenticate, verify
and inspect the sites/jobs or any supply as the case may be. It will also avoid
breach in payment, so that they do not pay to the wrong person or
company.

OPTION 2

The government of my country in accordance with the Federal Ministry of Finance
(FMF), has a new provision in the constitution,where by foreign contractors that
are unable to come to the office of the FMF here in Nigeria for authentication
and Verification on Health grounds can be exempted and allowed to use any of
their (Apex Bank) offshore Centers across the globe (Europe, London and Canada)
that is operational as at the time of request.

OPTION 3

This option, you can apply for the Non-appearance/non resident signing of the
Final fund Release Document (FFRD) to be sent to you in your office, in your
country for your endorsement. This arrangement is for contractors who by
circumstances beyond their control cannot come for the signing of the final fund
release documents.
From the above three options, I will want you to choose the one that will be
convenient for you so that we can start working on that option
immediately as you know we have limited time to conclude this project.

On approval of the application by FMF the fund will be transferred and confirmed
within 72 Hours after the endorsement exercise is completed.

We will arrange to be with you after you have confirmed to us that the money is
in your account for prompt disbursement.

We will be ready to share the money as soon as it is wire-transferred into your
nominated account. However, if you decide to help us Supervise
our investment plan, we will appreciate this and discuss the modalities.
If we must succeed, then we must all summon the courage needed to bring this
project to fruition and work together as a team.My colleagues and I have worked
out the modalities for the successful transfer of these funds.
You must therefore be ready to assist us wholeheartedly.

Full audit report and documentations is usually sent with the wire-transfer
instructions to your bank from the Apex Bank here; this will serve to handle the
source and legitimacy and application of the incoming money and explain all tax
details to your countryís revenue service.

I assure you that if you maintain the required confidentiality, the project will
be successfully concluded within the stated time frame. find attached a specimen
copy of application that I will want you to print out,fill,scan send back to me
also as attachment via email,because faxing may prove difficult due to the
inclement weather which causes disruption in power supply and
telecommunications.It is important so that we can commence soonest.
I will be expecting you to send the attached letter duly typed and signed by you
to me via email attachment, so that I can file in the application.

Awaiting your prompt response.

Engr.Mamudu Aliu.
Tel/fax # 234 1 759 8696.


He even throws in a non-scripted bonus.

Quote:

Dear Mrs.Hannah,
Top of the day to you and your family.

I have sent you serveral mail with you responding to my mails.i have also given
you our options on how to conclude this transaction.

Please i want you to read all mt previous mail to you and respond back to me.

Thank you and stay blessed.

have a good day.

Engr.Mamudu Aliu.


I decide to get violent. After all, I answered him in January. He waits until March to get back in touch with me. (Business must be slow. Yay!)

Quote:

I already told you what my choices were back in fucking JANUARY, and you
ignored my questions! There had better be a damned good explanation why!

Hannah


I don't hear for a bit. Maybe a bit firmer hand?

Quote:


I already told you what my fucking choices were WEEKS ago. And I told you I
would fill out the claim form when I see some ID, bub. You've got a lot of
fucking nerve, ignoring me since JANUARY, then coming back in here, waltzing
in like you've just been away a day or two and I'VE been the one not answering
YOU. Go check your damned mail! I already answered you three times! Once,
then I forwarded the same mail to you twice, when you were IGNORING me.

Hannah


In April, I give it a final go.

Quote:

What the hell is wrong with you, you pathetic weasel? ANSWER ME!

Hannah


I think I've scared him into the underbrush. Or he'll come back in, oh, May or so. Mamudu (or Engr, as I like to call him) seems to have skittered away. Plenty more lads in my inbox, though.

_________________
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I believe that you cannot get this type of opportunity again till you enter grave, you are such a bounch of stupid that I have never seen. - Jerry Gezi
Heaven help us, I've started publishing my baits in a blog... If you want to learn how to straight bait, thisaway...
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