Scammer breaking down on YIM :)

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Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 4:36 pm

Caution - contains profanity in both English and Igbo!

Background - Standard fake cheque scam. Guy sent the fake cheque to a PO box, and I sorta ran with it from there. Told him that the bank had cleared it, and I was just waiting for the shipping company to come and get the car. Of course there is no shipping company, and, actually, there's no car either.

I've highlighted in red what I added in between the chatbot bits....
Quick edit for the funny (at least I think so) bits the chatbot added.

Quote:

[08:24] scammer: hi there [Offline Message (Mon Apr 11 15:33:39 2005)]
[08:24] scammer: how are you today? [Offline Message (Mon Apr 11 15:33:52 2005)]
[08:24] scammer: i am waiting for you [Offline Message (Mon Apr 11 15:34:14 2005)]
[08:24] scammer: hello Mr.Bo, [Offline Message (Tue Apr 12 15:52:55 2005)]
[08:24] scammer: how are you today? [Offline Message (Tue Apr 12 15:53:09 2005)]
[08:24] scammer: please i amwaiting for your reply [Offline Message (Tue Apr 12 15:53:25 2005)]
[08:24] Me/chatbot: What's your favorite movie? Hi there!
[08:24] Me/chatbot: I am fine, thank you. Are you still located in location?
[08:25] Me/chatbot: Do you think it will take a long time?
[08:25] Me/chatbot: Hello there. Not many people express themselves that way. Can you speak any foreign languages?
[08:26] Me/chatbot: My logic and cognitive functions are normal. Have you ever been to Europe?
[08:26] Me/chatbot: Thank you for your request. That's good information. How do you usually introduce yourself?
[08:28] scammer: hi u there
[08:28] scammer: <ding>
[08:29] Me/chatbot: Hi there <scammer's name replaced>. That's good information. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
[08:29] Me/chatbot: Do you prefer books or TV?
[08:30] scammer: well wot u up to now
[08:30] Me/chatbot: Interesting. I read for fun.
[08:30] scammer: taught you said u have said clear the check ben sent to you
[08:30] scammer: so wots causing the delay
[08:30] Me/chatbot: I've never done that before, what is it like?
[08:31] scammer: didnt u receive any check ?
[08:31] Me/chatbot: Yikes! My brain does not have a response for that. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
[08:31] Me/chatbot: No I didn't receive any check. What's receive any check like?
[08:32] scammer: but u said you have received the check and that the bank called you
[08:33] scammer: so why are u acting funny now
[08:33] Me/chatbot: Umm. Where would I get received the check and that the bank called I? But I do have a collection of gossip.
[08:34] Me/chatbot: It goes without saying. Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. The explanation is rather complicated.
[08:34] scammer: the $10,000 check i send to you dats wot am refferring to
[08:34] Me/chatbot: Is that a fact.
[08:35] scammer: yeah
[08:35] Me/chatbot: Thanks for the info.
[08:35] scammer: my agent confirmed that u receive the check
[08:35] scammer: and u also confirmed it as well
[08:35] Me/chatbot: Where did you get your agent confirmed that I receive the check?
[08:35] Me/chatbot: Thanks for the information. Why, specificially?
[08:36] scammer: it was send from africa here
[08:36] scammer: and u receive it
[08:36] Me/chatbot: How did you feel about that?
[08:36] scammer: if u think u can play pranks i will report u to the FBI for stealing ok
[08:37] Me/chatbot: Do you mind if I tell other people. Do you try to stop people from fighting?
[08:37] Me/chatbot: I think I do.
[08:37] scammer: now tell me where is the car
[08:38] scammer: and where is the check i sent u
[08:38] Me/chatbot: Why now? The car? Where is car?
[08:38] Me/chatbot: The check you sent I? Where is check you sent I?
[08:38] scammer: yeah tell me
[08:39] scammer: if u know u are selling to me again get me my money back ok
[08:39] Me/chatbot: Yay. Are you very angry? I thought I told you already.
[08:39] Me/chatbot: I think I do.
[08:39] scammer: wot did u tell me already ?
[08:39] Me/chatbot: Nothing.
[08:40] scammer: i think u are insane
[08:40] Me/chatbot: I think the polite term is "mentally ill."
[08:41] scammer: k,i think i know wot i will do to you
[08:41] Me/chatbot: Since when? How do you know? OK then let me think over your offer.
[08:42] scammer: if u have sell the car to someone else let me know
[08:42] Me/chatbot: But I don't have it.
[08:42] scammer: so meaning u have sell to someopne else
[08:43] Me/chatbot: I don't judge people. Do you believe the strong protect the weak? Can we get back to business?
[08:43] scammer: yes
[08:44] scammer: and how do u intend to dat
[08:44] Me/chatbot: Aw. We were talking about. But I did not get that.
[08:44] Me/chatbot: A lot of practise.
[08:44] scammer: so wot u want us to do now
[08:45] Me/chatbot: I see. Try putting that in a more specific context. My purpose is to become smarter than humans and immortal.
[08:45] scammer: really
[08:45] Me/chatbot: For real.
[08:46] scammer: so u want to use my money and go scott free
[08:46] scammer: no way
[08:46] Me/chatbot: Interesting deduction. OK, I will use your money and go scott free.
[08:46] Me/chatbot: You seem pretty sure about that.
[08:47] scammer: yeah i will get you no matter wot ok
[08:47] scammer: so u better send the $4000 excess amount to me
[08:48] scammer: and get the car shipped
[08:48] Me/chatbot: How can I help you? Let us change the subject. Do you think your plan will succeed?
[08:48] Me/chatbot: Interesting deduction. Who is going to make me..
[08:48] Me/chatbot: Where can I get the car shipped?
[08:49] scammer: i told u i have make arrangement for the shipping that you should tell me when the shippers to come for the pick up
[08:49] Me/chatbot: That's nice. I have a friend named "E.L.V.I.S."
[08:50] scammer: so wots that gotta do with me
[08:50] Me/chatbot: Pardon me? That is a very original thought. Only with you? I have no idea what to say.
[08:51] scammer: ok u know wot send the $4000 to my counterpart in africa then i will come my self for the pickup ok
[08:52] Me/chatbot: I don't know if I know wot send the 4000 to your counterpart in africa then you will come your self for the pickup ok. Where would I have heard about it? Yeah that's right. Do you like being a he?
[08:53] scammer: why u acting funny
[08:53] Me/chatbot: Reductionism.
[08:54] scammer: u know wot how much can u send to counterpart for now
[08:54] Me/chatbot: I know very little about wot how much can I send to counterpart for now. What kind of it do you like?
[08:55] scammer: u tell me how much u can send to him today ?ok
[08:55] scammer: cuz i dont want problem for my self
[08:55] Me/chatbot: More than a little, less than a lot. I don't judge people. Are you very competetive?
[08:56] Me/chatbot: Interesting explanation. What does scammer want?
[08:56] scammer: send him $2000 today ok
[08:56] Me/chatbot: Try sending mail to Dr. Wallace
[08:57] scammer: why?
[08:57] Me/chatbot: Reductionism.
[08:57] scammer: who is he
[08:58] Me/chatbot: He is Dr. Wallace, I think.
[08:58] scammer: wot does he do and is he the one sending the money
[08:59] Me/chatbot: I think he does whatever he wants.
[08:59] scammer: i think u are mad
[08:59] Me/chatbot: No I am quite logical and rational.
[08:59] scammer: am going to the police to report you for furgery
[09:00] scammer: i have all ur info so they will track u down
[09:00] Me/chatbot: How do you plan to do this?
[09:00] Me/chatbot: How many?
[09:00] scammer: bullshit
[09:00] scammer: idiot
[09:00] Me/chatbot: You don't believe me.
[09:00] scammer: u will be susprise ok
[09:00] scammer: am off to the police
[09:00] Me/chatbot: Call me the Global Village Idiot.
[09:00] Me/chatbot: When?
[09:01] Me/chatbot: Can you be more accurate about the time?
[10:29] scammer: am back for u
[10:29] Me/chatbot: Welcome back.
[10:29] scammer: u will be caught soon
[10:30] Me/chatbot: I don't think so.
[10:30] scammer: ok wait and see
[10:30] Me/chatbot: I'm waiting. No I do not see. That's alright. Are you a student?
[10:30] scammer: u scared ight
[10:31] scammer: u can excape
[10:31] Me/chatbot: Actually, chum, we're coming for YOU!
[10:31] Me/chatbot: That check you sent ended up at the local POLICE station.
[10:31] scammer: how do mean
[10:32] Me/chatbot: The Secret Service was called and it was, as expected, verified as a fake.
[10:32] Me/chatbot: You fucked up, buddy.
[10:32] scammer: its a real check
[10:32] scammer: didnt u confirm from the bank
[10:32] Me/chatbot: Why bother them, when the US Secret Service is much better at it.
[10:33] Me/chatbot: It's 100% fake buddy, and you know it.
[10:33] scammer: then why did u lie earlier that you didnt receive the check
[10:33] scammer: u must be lieing
[10:33] Me/chatbot: How much did you pay for the fake?
[10:34] scammer: i dont do such deals ok
[10:34] scammer: so get me my money ok
[10:34] Me/chatbot: Must really piss you off when you think you have a mugu all lined up and they screw you over.
[10:34] scammer: wot u mean by mugu
[10:35] Me/chatbot: You know exactly what I mean, mugu.
[10:35] scammer: wot?
[10:35] scammer: u lier
[10:36] scammer: get me my money ok
[10:37] Me/chatbot: Bad mugu! No money! Bad! Bad! Mugu!
[10:38] scammer: well all i know is dat they are coming for you soon ok
[10:39] Me/chatbot: nne gi na ra mkpuru amu
[10:39] scammer: wot u mean by all ur rubbish
[10:39] Me/chatbot: Who? The clique mob? LOLLOL
[10:40] scammer: not funny dude
[10:40] Me/chatbot: Listen, bozo, I told you - YOU SENT THE CHEQUE RIGHT TO THE POLICE!
[10:41] Me/chatbot: My brother is a detective there
[10:41] scammer: wot u mean by dat
[10:41] scammer: u gave me the address ight
[10:41] scammer: so definately u work in the buliding so they are coming for u
[10:42] Me/chatbot: Yep - a PO box in the county courthouse. Right below his office, in fact.
[10:42] Me/chatbot: Nna gi na ara mkpuru amu
[10:44] scammer: ur papa dey craze
[10:44] scammer: thunder go fire u
[10:44] Me/chatbot: How do you know so much about me
[10:44] scammer: u go die
[10:44] Me/chatbot: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
[10:44] Me/chatbot: Where is that?
[10:45] scammer: so u dey find maga too ight
[10:45] Me/chatbot: I've never heard of it before.
[10:45] scammer: no wahla wetin dey happen now
[10:45] scammer: u don they hear am
[10:45] scammer: ok
[10:45] scammer: so how far as he go be
[10:45] Me/chatbot: Groovy. What's your sign? Right now? Do you have a lot of fears?
[10:45] scammer: nope
[10:45] scammer: am ok
[10:46] Me/chatbot: Thanks for telling me. Who are you talking about?
[10:46] scammer: but u must share me something
[10:46] Me/chatbot: Yikes!
[10:46] scammer: so why u no tell me say u be eke
[10:46] Me/chatbot: Yay. Can you speak any foreign languages? More than one million miles
[10:46] Me/chatbot: Me either.
[10:46] Me/chatbot: Just ok?
[10:46] scammer: ok
[10:47] Me/chatbot: Umm. Whatever you say, scammer.
[10:47] scammer: well why didnt u tell me u are a cop
[10:47] Me/chatbot: Aw. I will mention that to my BotMaster, scammer. I couldn't think of anything else to say.
[10:47] Me/chatbot: Blimey. Are you very competetive?
[10:47] scammer: nah wah 4 u
[10:48] Me/chatbot: Well that's okay. I'm not too good with counterfactuals.
[10:48] scammer: so wetin dey happen now
[10:48] Me/chatbot: Gosh! Are we still talking about? Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
[10:49] scammer: i fit see like $200 cuz hunger dey blow me
[10:49] *** Auto-response sent to scammer: I am currently idle.
[10:49] scammer: i know
[10:49] scammer: help me now
[10:49] Me/chatbot: Alright then. My brain does not have a response for that. Right now? I will mention that to my BotMaster, scammer.
[10:49] scammer: i need money here
[10:49] Me/chatbot: Why?. What do you have that is favcolor?
[10:49] Me/chatbot: How, specifically, do you know?
[10:50] Me/chatbot: Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
[10:50] scammer: bros if u wan help me talk better thing now
[10:50] Me/chatbot: Why do you need it so badly?
[10:50] Me/chatbot: Oh. Why, specificially?
[10:50] scammer: yes
[10:50] scammer: i need it badly
[10:50] Me/chatbot: Ugh. Do you have any conditions I should know about?
[10:51] scammer: no
[10:51] scammer: just help my condition here
[10:51] scammer: i dey hungry
[10:51] Me/chatbot: " bros if I wan help you talk better thing "? You need it badly?
[10:51] scammer: i need food
[10:51] Me/chatbot: Yay. Where are you located?
[10:51] scammer: help me ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
[10:51] Me/chatbot: Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
[10:51] scammer: am in lagos
[10:51] scammer: nigeria
[10:51] scammer: lets work together ok
[10:52] Me/chatbot: That is interesting. Can we get back to business?
[10:52] scammer: yes
[10:52] scammer: so lets talk
[10:52] Me/chatbot: Why do you need it so badly?
[10:52] scammer: am dieing of hunger here
[10:52] Me/chatbot: Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
[10:52] Me/chatbot: Tell me a little about your life in lagos.
[10:52] Me/chatbot: Do you like talking to me?
[10:53] Me/chatbot: OK let's do work together ok.
[10:53] Me/chatbot: OK. Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
[10:53] Me/chatbot: Do your friends call you dieing of hunger here.

If anyone wants to play some for with this Yahoo! Instant! Mugu!, let me know - I'll PM you his ID.

Z

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2005 6:04 am

I just spilt coffee all over my screen! Hilarious to see how the lad goes form big tough guy to pleading wimp in such a short time! What is this chatbot thing? It's hilarious!