Newbie post here

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 8:13 pm

I thought I had an orignal idea when I started responding to emails inquiring about things I was trying to sell on craiglist. Then I gooogled out of curiosity and was humbled by the artform that you guys have made of scam baiting.

I just want to know if this post is a waste of time here, in the wrong spot, wrong format, etc.(please excuse the politeness, I'm new to forum etiquette):

I got an email from Mary after listing a dashboard on craigslist. By the time I got her first email, I had sold it on ebay for $80.

I will make comments throughout this post (***like this***) otherwise I just copy from my email and paste onto here...

This conversation is over. I haven't heard from Mary since March 17, 2005

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Saturday, February 26, 2005 6:45 AM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: 1996 Impala SS Lower Dash

Hello am Mary Houston am intreested in buying your 1996 Impala SS Lower Dash posted forsale and i will like to know maybe it is still available and the last price of it ok.
Mary.

(***it was obvious Mary copied and pasted the "1996 Impala SS Lower Dash" directly from the listing. So basically she has no idea what she is "buying"***)

(***my email address***) wrote:
Yes. It is $800

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Sunday, February 27, 2005 8:32 AM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: THANKS FOR GETTING BACK

Hello thanks for your mail reponse am glad that it is still forsale and also am okay with the price of the 1996 Impala SS Lower Dash so i will need the name and the address of where to send the payment to and as for the pickup i have a private shipping company that will be coming for the pickup of the 1996 Impala SS Lower Dash at your destination so i will incldue the pickup fees to the payment that am going to issue for you so the amount of $2000 will be send to you and as soon as you get the check clear at your bank i will like you to send the fund of the pickup to the shipping company so that they can come for the pickup in time so pls i will like you to respond to me with the name and the address of where to issue the payment to and pls include the phone number so that i can call you abytime i wish to talk to you about this transaction so pls get back to me asap.
mary

(***my email address***) wrote:
Ok, Mary. My name is Thomas Dolby. I live at (***Dunkin' Donuts address given***). My phone number is (***payphone outside of Wawa given***)
Thanks

(***I can't think of the name of the "time to make the donuts" guy, and Wawa is a US east coast convenience store chain***)

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, March 08, 2005 6:23 AM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: hello
hello thomas have you got the check yet?

(***my email address***) wrote:
No Mary, I'm still waiting for it.

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Sunday, March 13, 2005 10:47 AM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: hello
hello
thanks for the response and the coperation in me may god continue to bless u
have you gotten the check yet?
thanks and god bless

(***uh-oh, she upped the stakes here. Suddenly I'm dealing with a trustworthy God-fearing person. Nothing can go wrong now***)

(***my email address***) wrote:
Yes, Mary. I got the check. Yes god blesses me every day, and people who aren't even holy bless me every time I sneeze. What do I do now?

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, March 14, 2005 8:00 AM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: GET BACK TO ME ASAP.
Hello Thomas take the cheque to your bank and do fast clearance so that you can have the money immidiately and i will send you the shipper information so that you can get back to them ok.
Thanks for getting back to me ok.
Mary.

(***my email address***) wrote:
Hello? Are we going to do this today?

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, March 14, 2005 12:16 PM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: HELLO HUN...........................

hello thomas
thanks for getting back to me,i want you to go to the bank today and cashed that immediately ,and i just contact my shipper not quiet long just now. he let me know that he is not in the state right now.but he is in africa to shippped some goods. so he is assuring me that he can come over from there to come for the pick up ,so thomas he told me he is going to send the information to me right now so that you can send that to him over there .so that he can come over to your location to claim that .
so be expecting the information right now in my next mail
thanks and god bless
mary

(***my email address***) wrote:
OK, no problem I'll wait for that information

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, March 14, 2005 1:13 PM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: WESTERN UNIOUN INFORMATION
hello thomas this is the information to my shipper so he is going to claim that in africa .and going to be in your location within 48 hours in usa to come for the pick up.
NAME OF THE SHIPPER............patricia watson
ADDRESSS.......................3 shanu street,
lagos nigeria

SO I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND THE TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER TO CLAIM THAT IMMEDIATELY

so i will be expecting that information in my email box so that i can forward that to him immediately
thanks and god bless

(***my email address***) wrote:
Ok Mary, I will now go to the western union office

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Monday, March 14, 2005 3:33 PM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: WESTERN UNIOUN INFORMATION
hello thomas i will be expecting your email to me soon
thanks and god blesss
mary

(***now I have her exactly where I want her. She's waiting, salivating, she can almost taste that fresh kill. I wonder how often these people actually get money this way. All I can hope is that at this point she/he is really really excited at the hopes of getting some fresh loot. I think I'll let her sleep on it***)

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 2:44 AM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: WHAT IS GOING ON THOMAS...........................
hello thomas how are you today,why didnt you get back to me about the western unioun details cos am about to forward that to my shipper to claim that immediately and come for the pick up immediately
thanks and god bless
mary.

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 9:28 AM
To: [EMAIL=(***my email address***)](***my email address***)[/EMAIL]
Subject: WESTERN UNIOUN INFORMATION
hello thomas what is happening in there cos am willing to have that immediately
thanks and god bles
mary

(***this is where I start having fun***)

(***my email address***) wrote:
I did it Mary. I broke down. I gave into temptation and I gambled it all away. I stopped into a bar on the way to the western union office and had a beer. I hadn't drank for a while and it tasted sooo good. Then I had a second, then a third. Beer turned into rum, rum into whiskey, whiskey into tequila...I started feeling invincible. I slammed $7000 on the pool table and declared that I could match any trick shot in the house. The room stood quiet until a surly-looking man with an eyepatch and a nosering limped over to the bar and boldly accepted my challenge. He removed his prosthetic leg and placed it on the bar, hopped 20 ft over to where I stood and sunk the 8 ball. He proclaimed to have sunken the 8 ball with his left leg on the bar. The pool table was bolted down, Mary. My only hope was to throw the pool stick in a desperate attempt to escape this horrible situation. I drew back that pool cue with all of my emotions, and with one mighty heave...I lost my balance, and with it, my dignity. I am so sorry Mary. I have been in church all morning because last night my crack addiction snuck up on me again. The money is gone. Is there anything, ANYTHING that I can do to make it up to you? I give myself to your mercy.
Tom

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2005 3:18 AM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: DO YOU THINK YOU ARE A WISE MAN...........................................................
Hello thomas
just got your mail not quit long,why did you do this to me,i have never transact this kind of business in life ,you being the first person doing this to me , being studing you that you may be a trustful person,thomas i will like you to go and send the man 2000$ this morning cos he is waiting for you to send the money so that he can come for the pick up in your location cos i dont want any thing where are about a FBI will be involve in this transaction cos am a child of god i dont cheat my patner my friends and also my costomer too.so thomas am telling you this and also begging you nin the name of god to go and send that immediately
EXPECTING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON WITH THE WETERN UNIOUN DATAILS
THANKS AND GOD BLESS
MARY.

(***wait, the FBI? Oh crap! This must be serious business***)

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2005 3:36 AM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: JUST CONTACT MY HUSBAND NOT QUIT LONG.............................
helloo thomas i contact my husband about this in usa he let me know that you try and send that today so that the shipper can come over to do the pick up
thanks and god bless

(***now the husband is in on it? I don't want to get beat up. I'd better pay***)

(***my email address***) wrote:
hello mary. how are you. i'm sorry for that last email. i had to make them believe that i no longer have my wits. i think it will be safe to talk soon, but for now i am whispering because i don't want them to hear...i am now wearing a tin foil hat because i think they're on to me. you're the only one i can trust, and email is okay because there are no sound waves that can be picked up by the millenium transfunctioner. it is for this reason that i ask that you not read this aloud. i have moved into another apartment and i have changed my telephone number. please call when it is safe. (***payphone outside of Wawa given***) i have moved all goods to my new apartment. i will give you that address when you have received your money. western union details are as follows: the test question is "how long is a chinaman?" and the answer is "yes he is" take care and good journey *hand gestures*

(***I sent this email in extra small font to simulate whispering***)

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2005 10:58 AM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: hello........................
hello thomas thanks for getting back to me ,what is going on thomas cos am really confused in here ,i have never told anybody about this except my husband and he told me to contact you again about what is going on cos is really confused too here cos he said afterall you spoke like a child of god.so thomas i will like you to send me the #MTCN NUMBER { text question and answer}{name of the sender}{amount sent}
for me to send that to my shipper so that he can shipped all my goods in his hand dont worry about yours again i will only contact him now to not come over to your end again so you can help me to send him the sum of 2000$ so that he can shipped my goods from him to u.k immediately within 48 hours ,so thomas am also thanking you for all what you done also may god continue to bless u
thanks and god bless
mary

(***notice this was sent in bold italics for emphasis***)

(***my email address***) wrote:
Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase

Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze

It means no worries for the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy

Hakuna Matata!

Hakuna Matata?

Yeah. It's our motto!

What's a motto?

Nothing. What's a-motto with you?

Those two words will solve all your problems

That's right. Take Pumbaa here
Why, when he was a young warthog...

When I was a young wart hog

Very nice

Thanks

He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal
He could clear the savannah after every meal

I'm a sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned
And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind
And oh, the shame He was ashamed
Thought of changin' my name What's in a name?
And I got downhearted How did ya feel?
Everytime that I...

Hey! Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids!
Oh. Sorry

Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze

It means no worries for the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna--

It means no worries for the rest of your days

It's our problem-free philosophy
Hakuna Matata!
(Repeats)

I say "Hakuna"

I say "Matata"

(***OK, I really cracked myself up on this one***)

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 17, 2005 3:58 AM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: SEND MY MONEY TODAY...............................................
hello thomas i think i can know tell everybody what is going on cos you are now playing me for a fool which i dont like ,i just contact one of my friend around you and he let me know that he knows where you are staying that is not a problem for him.thomas i can now know you are a thief and a betrayer human being which i cant even believe you can do me this anyway shit happen just be ready to pay my money in the prison am sure no matter you hide in a corner god will point you out believe me.i think my husband even will be coming down to usa by this week.thomas you really dissapoint me for all what you did to me cos i really trust you than what you did to me .

(***now I'm really getting my ass kicked. Her friend knows where I live, and her husband is "coming down to usa" to get me. Wait, I thought he was already here...***)

(***my email address***) wrote:
buttplug?

Quote:

From: mary houston [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Thursday, March 17, 2005 11:57 AM
To: (***my email address***)
Subject: SEND MY MONEY TODAY...............................................
hello thomas i can even understand you anymore ,am really confused about you. what you mean now is that am not having my money back again ok but why cant you send the man 2000$and take the remaning cos i can understand you anymore just try and send the man money today
thanks and god bless
mary. .

(***my email address***) wrote:
buttplug.

and that was it. She gave up. I haven't seen her husband, her friend, or the FBI. I guess she just went elsewhere for her car parts.

Edited for readability

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Feb 2005 Posts: 2301

It's time to get a new email address and bait her again. Twisted Evil

Make sure you send her a 10MB bitmap file with the word "Buttplug" in BIG red letters! Wink

Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2005 8:33 pm

I tried and she didn't bite, but I sent her the unholiest of unholy pics for April fools... Shocked

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 10:36 am

That was fantastic! I have been laughing my lungs out with the Hakuna Matata stuff! And the bit about the bloke with the one leg, absolute genius! Keep up the good work!

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 10:45 am

Good bait