Extortion for Dummies

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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2005 11:29 pm

I get an email from a prince of a man that turns out to be quite a surprise!

Quote:

AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK OF NIGERIA(A.D.B)
FROM THE DESK OF :PRINCE STANLEY
LAGOS - NIGERIA.
RC.27199.
Private e-mail address:prince [email protected]
Dear Sir,
STRICTLY A PRIVATE BUSINESS PROPOSAL
I am PRINCE STANLEY, The manager, Bills and Exchange
at the Foreign Remittance Department of the A.D.B Bank
of Nigeria Plc. I am writing this letter to ask for
your support and cooperation to carry out this
business opportunity in my department. We discovered
an abandoned sum of $7,000,000M US DOLLARS (Seven
million United States Dollars only) in an account that
belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along
with his entire family of a wife and two children in
November 1999 in a Plane crash.
Since we heard of his death, we have been expecting
his next-of-kin to come over and put claims for his
money as the heir, because we cannot release the fund
from his account unless someone applies for claim
as the next-of-kin to the deceased as indicated in our
banking guidelines.
Unfortunately, neither their family member nor distant
relative has everappeared to claim the said fund. Upon
this discovery, I and other officials in my department
have agreed to make business with you and
release the total amount into your account as the heir
of the fund since no one came for it or discovered he
maintained account with our bank, otherwise the fund
will be returned to the banks treasury as unclaimed
fund.
We have agreed that our ratio of sharing will be as
stated thus;
20 % for you as foreign partner,
75 % for us the officials in my department and
5 % for the settlement of all local and foreign
expences incurred by us and you during the course of
this business.
Upon the successful completion of this transfer, I and
one of my colleagues will come to your country and
mind our share. It is from our 75 % we intend to
import Agricultural Machineries into my country as a
way of recycling the fund.
To commence this transaction, we require you to
immediately indicate your interest by a return e-mail
and enclose your private contact telephone number, fax
number full name and address and your designated bank
coordinates to enable us file letter of claim to the
appropriate departments for necessary approvals before
the transfer can be made.
Note also, this transaction must be kept STRICTLY
CONFIDENTIAL because of its nature.
I look forward to receiving your prompt response.
PRINCE STANLEY
AFRICAN DEVELOPMENT BANK OF NIGERIA(A.D.B).

Quote:

Dear Prince Stanley:

Your letter came as quite a surprise! I have never met a real prince before! I would love to help out royalty in anyway I can. I understand that you have two accounts that you need my help with, the first (the one from the family who died in that plane crash... thats so sad!!!) Sad

I get 20% of and the second (the one from the general) I get 25% of. By my calculations, that should work out to $1.4 million from the first account and $11,250,000 from the second one for a total of $12,650,000 for me! This is like Who Wants To Be a Millionaire in real life!

Prince, if this is for real, you will make my dreams come true! I am so excited! I probably shouldn't ask this, but are you single? Wink

I got divorced from my deadbeat ex about 6 months ago, and I have been really depressed since. That is, until I got your email letter!

Love,
Molly Ringwald

Does he think with his little, itty bitty head? Or his penis? Let's find out.

Quote:

Dear Molly Ringwald.

Thank you very much for your email, i am particularly happy that you
very
well understand clearly the terms of the transaction as contained in my
first letter to you.

Therefore, the only assurance i need from you now, is just to assure me
that your Bank Account would be able to receive and accomodate this
fund
without eyebrows from your Bankers. Once that is put in place, then you
go ahead and send me the Bank account Informations, such as you Bank
Name
and address, Bank account Informations, banks contact address
informations
as well as the telephone and fax numbers of your Bank.

And your own telephone and fax numbers

Immediately I receive these additional informations from you, I will
add
it to your own personal contact informations and then use it to process
the release and transfer of the Contract funds into your Nominated Bank
Account Informations, afterwhich you can gladly deduct your percentage
of
US$9M as your share of the total sum for your assistance, while i will
then
come over for the balance as our share at an agreed date and time.

Please call me on my telephone number 2348028740148 to acknowledge
receipt
of this email and for any further clarification.

Waiting to hear from you soonest, so that we can proceed
immediately.Off
topic i am still searching also.

God bless you.

Dr.Stanley

Quote:

Dear Prince:

I have several diffrent accounts, a Mutual Saving Bond fund, a Roth 401(b), and a no-load checking account. Which do you think would be the best to use, Stan?

Off topic, but what did you mean by "you are still searching?" Wink

Molly

...and I stilllllll haven't found.... what I'm looking fooooorrrrrrr...... [singing_off]

Quote:

Goodday Molly Ringwald,
Thanks for the mail,To my knowledge in banking sector for so many
years
i believe the account we are going to use for such money is the Mutual
Saving
Bond fund.
the only assurance i need from you now, is just to assure me
that your Bank Account would be able to receive and accomodate this
fund
without eyebrows from your Bankers. Once that is put in place, then you
go ahead and send me the Bank account Informations, such as you Bank
Name
and address, Bank account Informations, banks contact address
informations
as well as the telephone and fax numbers of your Bank.

And your own telephone and fax numbers

Immediately I receive these additional informations from you, I will
add
it to your own personal contact informations and then use it to process
the release and transfer of the Contract funds into your Nominated Bank
Account Informations, afterwhich you can gladly deduct your percentage
of
US$9M as your share of the total sum for your assistance, while i will
then
come over for the balance as our share at an agreed date and time.

Please call me on my telephone number 2348028740148 to acknowledge
receipt
of this email and for any further clarification.
Best regards,
Mr Stanley......

Since I made up all those accounts, its good to know that with his extensive experience in the financial industry, he settled on the most bogus one of all.

Quote:

Prince:

Thanks for your email. My account will be ready, and nobody will suspect a thing! This is just like Thomas Crown Affair, except you're Nigerian instead of Charles Bronson.

Prince, you never answered my question.... What is it that you are still searching for?

Molly

This mugu doesn't have a romantic bone in his body.

Quote:

Goodday Molly Ringwald,
Thanks for the response,I will be waiting for your account number and
your
full information as it is very paramount on this deal,
Once that is put in place, then you go ahead and send me the Bank
account
Informations, such as you Bank Name and address, Bank account
Informations,
banks contact address informations as well as the telephone and fax
numbers
of your Bank.

And your own telephone and fax numbers

Immediately I receive these additional informations from you, I will
add
it to your own personal contact informations and then use it to process
the release and transfer of the Contract funds into your Nominated Bank
Account Informations, afterwhich you can gladly deduct your percentage
of
US$9M as your share of the total sum for your assistance, while i will
then
come over for the balance as our share at an agreed date and time.

Please call me on my telephone number 234-8028740148 to acknowledge
receipt
of this email and for any further clarification.

Waiting to hear from you soonest, so that we can proceed immediately.

God bless you.

Mr.Stanley

Quote:

Oh, Prince...

Why haven't you answered my question? What is it that you are still searching for? True love? Your car keys? Your virginity? What? I'm not going to be ignored, your Highness.

Here is my bank information:

Enron Bank and Trust
2435 Bunghole Drive
Chingatumadre, California 90210
Account Number: 34230998419
My Phone Number: 775-852-9936

Prince, you seem to have made a wee bit of a calculation error. The total amount due to me is 12.6 million, not some little slice of 9 million. I really hope you are not trying to cheat a woman.

Molly

Quote:

Goodday Molly Ringwald,

Thanks for the informations,
I am sorry for the miscalculation of your share of the money,Also i am
still
single and looking for my kind of woman when the time comes.
Back to topic,I will like you to send me your fax number now so i can
fax
you all the necessary documents you need to have as the beneficiary of
the
fund.I will call you soon to discuss with you somethings but before
then
i want you to send your fax.
I will also want you to give me the bank fax and telephone
number.Kindly
send me those information as soon as possible so i can go on to my
federal
court of law for affidavit for you as the beneficiary of the fund.
NB;Please call me on my cell phone number 234-8028740148,Please when
you
call just say this word to me so i will know it is you,IT IS REAL.With
this
i will know that it is you.

Waiting for your response,
Mr Stanley..

Quote:

Hey sexy Prince:

The phone number for the bank is +46 99 090 420; they are an international bank with headquarters in Norway. It makes customer service expensive, but if you hold on the line for about 4-5 seconds, you will get an English speaker.

Also, I don't have a fax machine. Nobody really uses them anymore since any document can be scanned and emailed.

Can you send me some (non-official) pictures of yourself? I'd love to know more about you, honey.

Molly

Somebody posted a telephone number in Norway that, if called, adds about $250 from your phone bill as a donation for tsunami relief. He'll be mad about it at first, but then I'll think he will enjoy the feeling of a selfless act.

Quote:

ATTN: MADAM MOLLY RINGWALD,

WE ARE IN RECEIPT OF THE REQUIRED INTINERIES NEEDED FOR THE TRANSFER OF THIS FUNDS WE ARE WORKING TIRELESSLY IN PUTTING THINGS IN OTHER SO FOR THE FUND NOT TO HAVE PROBLEM WHEN READY, THE OTHER MESSAGE I SENT TOGETHER WITH MY OWN TRANSACTION FOR ( DR. GEORGE AWELLE OF U.B.A.)THE FUND WILL BE SENT TO YOUR ACCOUNT THROUGH OUR APEX( BANK CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA) C.B.N. AND IT WAS LUDGED IN THE BANK IN UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA (U.B.A) IN CASH AS PHOTOGRAPHIC MATERAL BUT NOW WILL NOW SECURE DOCUMENT THAT WILL ENABLE THE FUND TO BE TRANSFERED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT VIA TELEGRAPHIC TRANSFER (T/T).

IN RESPECT OF MY OWN DEAL WE WILL LIKE YOU TO APPLY OFFICIALLY TO THE BANK THAT YOU ARE THE NEXT OF KIN TO MR JOHN ROBBORT WHO DIED IN 16TH NOVENBER 1999.

EVERY DOCUMENT NEEDED FOR CLAIM WILL BE SENT TO YOU WHEN NECCESSARY I WILL LIKE YOU TO KNOW THAT IT'S NOT ALL OF THE BANKER HERE THAT'S AWARE OF THIS DEAL.

CONTACT OUR BANK FOREIN PAYMENT OFFICER ON

234-8027599972

ATTN:MR MIKE UGO

EMAIL:[email protected]

PLEASE KEEP ALL SECRET AND CALL ME FOR ANY QUESTION:234-8033546083.

PRINCE STANLEY

NB:I AM OPENNING ANOTHER EMAIL ADDRESS ONLY FOR THE SAFETY OF THIS TRANSACTION OUR BANK IS AWARE OF MY EMAIL ADDRESS AND PASSWORD.SOON SEND YOU MY PIX

Wow! All caps!

Quote:

ATTN:MADAM MOLLY,

WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ON PHONE FOR MORE VERBAL DISCUSSION TO LIGHTING YOU ON HOW THE TRANSACTION SHOULD BE HANDLE BUT YOUR PHONE WAS ON FAX MACHINE.

PLEASE I WILL LIKE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU SHOULD'NT LET OUR BANK TO KNOW THAT WE CONTACTED YOU FOR THIS TRANSACTION JUST APPLY AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO MR. JOHN ROBBERT WHO DIED IN 16 NOV.1999. THAT YOU WANT TO CLAIM THE FUND THAT WAS DEPOSITED IN OUR BANK BY YOUR BROTHER. EVERY DOCUMENT REGARDING THIS CLAIM WILL BE FORWARDED TO YOU.

WE ARE MAKING ARRANGEMENT TO SEND A LAWYER TO OBTAIN AN AFFIDAVIT AT ABUJA (FCT) CAPITAL OF NIGERIA, FEDERAL HIGH COURT ABUJA.
THIS AFFIDAVIT WILL CARRY YOUR FULL NAME AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO MR.JOHN ROBBERT AND WILL BE BACKDATED.THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL ISSUE TO THEM FOR CLAIM AS THE NEXT OF KIN.
PLEASE CALL ME AS I WILL BE WAITING TO HERE FROM YOU.

THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSED.

PRINCE STANLEY

I've posted the family picture in the thread "Meet the Cleavers" on the Pictures board. Go there if you really want to see it.

Quote:

Dear Prince:

What a lovely family! Are they all from the same father? I don't understand what I am supposed to do at this point? Do I wait for your lawyer or what?

Love,

Molly

Quote:

ATTN:MADAM MOLLY,

WE ARE IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND THE QUESTION THEREIN THEY ARE ALL MY FAMILY THERE NAMES ARE:CYNTHIA,MICHAEL AND LUCCI AND MY WIFE DIANA.

IN RESPECT OF THE LAWYER GOING TO ABUJA FOR THE AFFIDAVIT WE HAVE GOTTEN A LAWYER AND HAVE JUST CONCLUDED ON THE MONEY WE ARE TO PAY HIM FOR THE SERVICE, WILL BE PAYED TOMMORROW INCLUDING PART PAYMENT OF HIS CHARGES WHICH WHOT $12,300.00 THIS INCLUDES HIS FLIGHT TO ABUJA AND ALSO MEETING WITH THE JUDGES IN CONCERN, WHEN HE COMES WE WILL BALACE HIM $2,500.
IN THAT CASE, YOU HAVE WAIT TILL HE COMES FROM ABUJA WITH THE AFFIDAVIT OF PROVE THAT YOU ARE THE NEXT OF KIN TO MR JOHN ROBBERT SO YOU WILL HAVE WHAT TO PROVE WHEN YOU ARE ASKED TO.

I WOULD HAVE LOVE TO HERE YOUR VOICE CAN YOU GIVE ME YOUR MOBIL PHONE NUMBER OR YOU GIVE ME TIME TO CALL YOU.
UNLIKE ME I WOULD'NT LIKE YOU TO CALL ME WHEN IN OFFICE BECAUSE THIS TRANSACTION IS NOT WHAT I WILL DISCUSS IN THE OFFICE.

I WILL KEEP YOU INFORM BY NEXT TOMMORROW WHEN THE LAWYER MYTH HAVE BEEN BACK FROM ABUJA I MET WITH DR.GEORGE AWELE ON HIS OWN ISSUE HE SAID THAT THEY ARE STILL PROCCESSING THE DOCUMENT SO THAT THERE WILL BE NO PROBLEM.
BYE FOR NOW.

THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSED.

PRINCE STANLEY

Quote:

ATTN:MOLLY

FURTHERMORE, PLEASE CAN YOU GIVE US YOUR CONTACTS INFORMATION SO THE LAWYER WILL INCLUDE IT IN YOUR INFORMATION IN THE AFFIDAVIT FOR EASY APPROVAL IF NECCESSARY BECAUSE OF THE TIME DIFFERECE WE MAY NOT COMMUNICATE BEFORE THE DEPARTURE OF THE LAWYER TO ABUJA.

THANKS.

PRINCE STANLEY

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Quote:

ATTN:MADAM MOLLY,

FURTHER TO OUR MAIL YESTERDAY WE ARE ALL WAITING FOR THE ADDRESS,SO THE LAWYER WILL PROCCEED TO ABUJA FOR OBTAINING OF THE AFFIDAVIT IN FEDERAL HIGH COURT ABUJA, ACCORDING TO THE LAWYER HE SAID THAT IT'S NECCESSARY TO HAVE AN ADDRESS OF THE NEXT OF KIN AND ALSO IS NOT ONLY THE AFFIDAVIT OF THE NEXT OF KIN THAT YOU WILL ISSUE ALSO THE AFFIDAVIT ISSUED BY FEDERAL HIGH COURT TO MR. JOHN ROBBERT, SO THERE WILL BE NO DOUBT IN PAYING THE MONEY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

THANKS WAITING FOR THE ADDRESS.

PRINCE STANLEY

Quote:

ATTN: MADAM MOLLY RINGWALD,

WE ARE STILL WAITING FOR THE LAWYER TO PROCCEED TO ABUJA MIND YOU WE ARE NOT REQUESTING ANY MONEY FROM YOU IT'S ONLY YOUR INTEREST,GENUINESS CONFIDENTIALITY THAT WE NEED FOR NOW.PLEASE GIVE US ANY ADDRESS OF YOUR CHOICE SO FOR THE LAWYER TO PROCCEED TO ABUJA FOR THE OBTAINING OF THE AFFIDAVIT FROM THE FEDERAL HIGH COURT OF NIGERIA ABUJA FOR THE ARRANGEMENTS HAS BEEN MADE BY US HERE.

THANKS AS WE WAIT HEARING FROM YOU.

PRINCE STANLEY

God your a tedious little shit, aren't you?

Quote:

Prince:

So sorry to have kept you waiting! Here is my personal contact information:

535 Hershey Highway
Mangina, California 90222
206-495-6510

Love,
Molly

Quote:

ATTN:MADAM MOLLY,
THANKS FOR THE INFORMATION WE NEEDED FOR THE CLAIM OF THIS FUND BUT CAME SO LATE THAT MAKE'S THE LAWYER TO GO TO ABUJA ON SATURDAY WHICH IS WEEKEND, BUT ALL IS WELL I HAVE JUST SPOKEN WITH THE LAWYER HE SAID THAT HE HAS SEEN THE JUDICIARY IN CONCERN OF THE DOCUMENT'S (AFFIDAVIT)BUT VERY SOON IT WILL BE SWORN AND ENDORSE IN THE COURT. THAT ALL IS WELL OVER THERE, THAT IF IT'S BEEN COMPLITED TODAY HE WILL BE IN LAGOS TODAY WITH THE NEXT AVAILABLE FLIGHT.

I WILL LIKE TO WISH YOU HAPPY VALENTINE IT'S A PITTY THAT AM IN THE OFFICE CELEBRATING THE VAL, PLS MOLLY MAY I SEE YOUR PICTURE? WHAT IS YOUR AGE? SORRY FOR THIS I WILL LIKE TO KNOW YOU BETTER BEFORE WE SEE FACE TO FACE I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ON THE PHONES NUMBERS YOU GAVE ME BUT ALL IS ON VOICEMAIL PLS I WILL LIKE TO SPEAK WITH YOU.

THANKS FOR YOUR EFFORT SO FAR.

PRINCE STANLEY.

NB: I MET WITH MR GEOGE AWELLE ON THE BUSINESS TRANSACTION HE WANTED ME TO HANDLE FOR HIM HE SAID THAT HIS BANK(UBA) ARE STILL ARRANGING THING THAT I SHOULD HAVE PATIENCE THAT IS MY CLIENT THAT IS GOING TO HANDLE THE BUSINESS, BUT AM AFFRAID FOR I HAVE NOT SPOKEN WITH YOU BEFORE ENTRUSTING ANOTHER PERSONS BUSINESS TO WHOM I HAVE NOT SEEN NOR SPOKEN TO PLS MOLLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.THANKS.

Quote:

ATTN: MADAM MOLLY,

THE LAWYER ARRIVED AT 9:AM THIS MORNING FROM ABUJA AND EVERYTHING WENT SUCCESSFUL YOU CAN VIEW THE ATTACHED AFFIDAVIT, YOU CAN NOW APPLY TO OUR BANK FOR THE CLAIM OF YOUR BROTHERS MONEY PLEASE AFTER SENDING THE APPLICATION LETTER YOU'LL WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE ASKED FOR THE PROVE BEFORE YOU ISSUE THIS AFFIDAVIT AS A PROVE THAT YOU ARE THE NEXT OF KIN TO MR JOHN ROBBERT THAT DIED SOME YEARS AGO.

SEND THE APPLICATION TO: DIRECTOR FOREIGN PAYMENT DEPARTMENT
OFFICER AFRICAN DEVELOPEMENT
BANK NIGERIA PLC
:ATTN:MR MIKE UGO
234-8027599972
EMAIL:[email protected]
AND GET BACK TO ME THANKS.
I WROTE AND ASKED YOU FOR YOUR INFORMATIONS I HAVE'NT HEARD FROM YOU.
KEEP ME INFORMED.

THANKS AS WE ACT TOWARD OUR SUCCESS.

PRINCE STANLEY.

Typical fake documents. Not really worth posting.

Quote:

ATTN: MADAM MOLLY,

WE'VE NOT HEARD FROM YOU,NO PHONE CALL NO MAIL IF WE TRY TO CALL YOU ALWAYS ON VOICE MAIL HOPE ALL IS WELL THIS ISSUE IS REALLY GIVEN US CONCERN PLEASE LET US KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING SO TO KNOW THE WAY FORWARD PLEASE LET US KNOW IF YOU HAVE APPLIED BECAUSE WE ALL LAY OUR HANDS ON THIS TRANSACTION.
PLEASE CALL ME ON:234-8033546083.

THANKS AS YOU WORK TOWARD OUR SUCCESS.

PRINCE STANLEY

Quote:

Prince:

Sorry I haven't written in a while. I have been sick for a couple of days, and getting to the computer has been difficult as best. Fortunately, I am over my acute Trichomonas infection and the scrofula is clearing nicely.

From your last emails, did you want me to send the documents to the bank? I am kind of confused on that issue.

Molly

Quote:

ATTN: MADAM MOLLY,

WE ARE IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND ACKNOWLEDGED YOUR HEALTH CONDITION WE WISH YOU A SPEEDY RECOVERY FOR WE STILL NEED TO MEET WITH YOU AND BE HAPPY WITH EACH OTHER,YOU ARE HEAL IN JESUS NAME. AMEN.

WE ALSO ACKNOWLEDGED THE QUESTION IN YOUR MAIL,WHAT YOU WILL DO FIRST IS TO APPLY(WRITE) TO OUR BANK OFFICIALLY THAT YOU ARE THE NEXT OF KIN TO ME JOHN ROBBERT WHO DIED SOME YEARS AGO THAT YOU WANT TO CLAIM THE MONEY THAT IS BEEN DEPOSITED IN YOUR BANK.

THEN IF EVIDENCE OR PROVE IS BEEN ASKED BY THE THAT IS WHEN YOU WILL NOW GIVE THEM THE AFFIDAVIT'S(DOCUMENT) FOR PROVE THAT YOU ARE THE NEXT OF KIN.

PLEASE AFTER SENDING THE APPLICATION YOU GIVE THE DIRECTOR FOREIGN OPERATION CALL, MR MIKE UGO FOR SPEEDY ATTENTION.PLEASE OPEN YOU LINE FOR ME TO CALL YOU OR CALL ME ON:234-8033546083.

THANKS AS YOU WORK TOWARD OUR SUCCESS.

PRINCE STANLEY

Time to f*** sh** up.

Quote:

From: "Molly Ringwald" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Subject: Next of kim
To: [email protected]

I am writing to inform you that I am the next of kim to this dead guy, Prince Stanley John Rogers. I have documents to prove this as a fact!

Molly Ringwald

Quote:

Prince:

That is so sweet of you to be praying for my recovery! You family is quite lovely; but what is wrong with the girl? Is she blind? did she drink Drano?

I have contacted the bank as the next of kin to john rogers, so everything is taken care of from this end!

Love,
Molly

I live for this!!! Laughing

Quote:

ATTN: MADAM MOLLY,

I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL,AND THE CONTENT TOO MY DAUGHTER IS NOT BLIND FOR GOD SAKE WITHDRAW THAT STATEMENT SEE'S ONLY HAVING A SLIGHT EYE PROBLEM BECAUSE OF TOO MUCH OF READING OK?

YOU MENTIONED THAT YOU HAVE APPLIED TO OUR BANK THAT YOU ARE THE NEXT OF KIN TO MR JOHN ROGER, WHO IS JOHN ROGER? IS IT JOHN ROGER THAT YOU ARE GIVEN HIS DOCUMENT? WHAT DO U THINK THAT YOU HAVE DONE PLEASE IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED IN THIS DEAL PLEASE TELL US SO THAT WE WILL EALIER KNOW WHAT TO DO OK?.

PLEASE FOR GOD SAKE YOU ARE THE NEXT OF KIN TO JOHN ROBBERT,IF REALLY YOU HAVE DONE A MISTAKE PLEASE CALL/MAIL MR MIKE UGO FOR ADJUSTMENT BECAUSE MISTAKES MAY NOT ALLOW YOU TO CLAIM THIS MONEY.

PLEASE OPEN COMMUNICATION WITH ME FOR IF YOU HAVE BEEN CALLING ME YOU WOULD'NT HAVE DONE THIS UNPARDONABLE MISTAKES.
BYE FOR NOW.

PRINCE STANLEY.

The bank is a little confused too.

Quote:

Dear Molly Ringwald,

Your email to us dated 18th feb.2005 12:00 was very complicated and so therefore could you please feed us properly so that it could be well understand, do you mean that you are the next of kin to prince stanley ? who stands as one of our staffs and who is John Rogers?.

can you please give us in details of what you need from our bank.

your faithfully,

roseline obiefuna.

(secretary)African Development Bank of Nigeria.(ADB)

Quote:

Prince:

Well, aren't you just a little snippy! First of all, I thought the name you wanted me to say was Rogers, not Robberts so of course that is what I told the bank. Please contact the bank and let them know of this unfortunate mistake immediately, since time is not on our side!

How can you think that I am not interested in this deal? I have followed every instruction, no matter how stupid, to the letter! I am trying my hardest to work with you here, so you might want to give me some slack.

I didn't mean to offend you by implying that your daughter is blind. Its just that she is wearing sunglasses and not smiling when everybody else in the picture is as giddy as schoolgirls. If she really is blind, it is nothing to be ashamed of. You just have to remember to not leave the plunger sticking up out of the hopper. Remember, God doesn't make mistakes. Not even hideously deformed subhuman anencephalic monsters, so please don't feel offended!

Sincerely,
Molly

I think the prince is starting to dislike me.

Quote:

ATTN:MADAM MOLLY,

I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND THE ABUSES THEREIN,MY DEAR TWO WRONGS CANNOT MAKE A WRITE LET THING THE WAY FORWARD TO THIS TRANSACTION BECAUSE TIME IS NOT OUR FRIEND.

SECONDLY, YOU KNOW THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS NOT OFFICIAL TRANSACTION FROM OUR BANK LIKE I ALWAY LET YOU KNOW THAT OUR BANK MUST NOT KNOW THAT I AM INVOLVE IN THIS DEAL. SO PLEASE WRITE TO THEM AND LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU SENT A MAIL AFTER CROSS CHECKING THE MAIL YOU FOUND OUT THAT THEIR IS AN ERROR IN SPELLING OF ROBBERT YOUR BROTHER.

PLEASE OPEN COMMUNICATION WITH ME FOR THE SUCCESS OF THIS TRANSACTION.

THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSED.

PRINCE STANLEY

Quote:

Prince:

Ok! I'll tell the bank right away. I forgot that you are doing something illegal and unethical, so I will be sure to liet the bank know that there has been an error. I will let you know what they say.

thanks,
Molly

Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2005 11:53 pm

I better clear things up with the "bank"!!

Quote:

Subject: MISTAKE!!!!
To: [email protected]

Remember how I told you I was next of kin to John Rogers? Well, that was an error. I am acutally next of kin to John Roberts. Please fix this situation as soon as possible.

Also, your devoted employee Prince Stanley is doing a wonderful job! Please give him a raise, his own secretary, a handjob or the company car. I think any of these things would really help him out since he has a blind daughter that he doesn't like to talk about much.

Thanks
Molly Ringwald

Quote:

ATTN:MADAM MOLLY,

AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND THE ABILITY TO MEND THE MISTAKE WE APPRECIATE THAT PLS KEEP US INFORM WHAT THE BANK WILL REQUEST.

THANKS.

PRINCE STANLEY

Hmmm.... how did princey-boy know about this.....? Wink

Quote:

Don't worry Prince! I'll let you know lickety-slpit when the bank writes back.

Molly

Quote:

Afrobank:

Srry for the lateness of my reply, as your email made it to my spam folder originally. No, the email was not complicated at all.

I am the next of kin to John Robberts. I told you John Roggers in error.

I have worked with Prince Stanley, and found him to be a top-notch, Johnny on the Spot employee who would never illegally divert funds from your bank for any reason.

I hope this clears up your inability to understand the prior email.

Sincerely,
Molly ringwald

Quote:

Dear Sir/Madam,

Thanks for your mail that say's that you are the next of kin to Mr John Robert who died with his family please if you have any prove about this please furnish us so our board of directors will hold meeting on this issue.

thanks.

yours faithfully,

Management.

Ohhhh! The board of directors is meeting!! I'm so excited! Just look at my nipples!! At least the prince keeps on getting funnier and funnier!

Quote:

ATTN: MOLLY,

I WAS IN MY OFFICE YESTERDAY YOUR MESSAGES TO THE BANK WAS BROUGHT TO ME FOR WITNESS WHY MUST YOU MENTION MY NAME WHAT HAVE COME OVER YOU AND TALKING ABOUT MY DAUGHTER PLEASE MOLLY YOU DONT TALK NOR REASON MATURED I MEAN THE LEVEL OF YOUR MENTALITY IS TOO LOW TO MY LIKEN/ DEALING WITH HOW AM I SURE IF THIS MONEY GETS TO YOUR ACCOUNT IF YOU WOUN'T SIT ON IT YOU ARE ASKED NOT TO LET THE BANK KNOW THAT I KNOW ABOUT THIS TRANSACTION YOU JUST STUPIDLY WENT TO WRITE TO OUR BANK TRYING TO IMPLICATING ME.

PLEASE WHAT I TOLD THEM IS THAT THE DAY THAT MR JOHN ROBBERT WAS DEPOSITING THIS FUND THAT YOU WERE THERE THAT WERE WE MET.
PLEASE IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED IN THIS DEAL PLEASE STAY OFF AND DON'T TRY TO IMPLICATE ME FOR NO REASON.

THANKS FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING.

PRINCE STANLEY

I guess no good deed goes unpunished.

Quote:

Prince:

Excuse me, but exactly what the hell is your problem? This is exactly what I wrote to your bank:

Also, your devoted employee Prince Stanley is doing a wonderful job! Please give him a raise, his own secretary, a handjob or the company car.

If you don't want your bosses liking you, I guess that's your thing. You see, Prince, in America, if I praise an employee to his superiors, that emplyee generally gets lots of wonderful benefits like raises. And from the looks of things, I bet you wouldn't mind a rise in your levis!

Now it seems like I have been doing all the leg work here, Stanley. Why don't you get things nice and tidy on your end before you start throwing stones at houses that you will later regret! Please try to be professional in the future. Oh yeah, one last thing. The CAPS LOCK key is the one on the far left of your keyboard, about halfway down. I thought you would like me to point that out to you.

Respectfully,
Molly Ringwald

Quote:

Hi Afrobank!

Here are the required documents to prove that I am truly the next of Kim on my father's side to John Robbberts.

thanks,
Molly Ringwald

I regurgitate the fake documents he sent me earlier. Again, no reason to really post them.

Quote:

Dear Molly Ringwald,

Your Affidavit documents that make you the next of kin to Mr John Robbert were received today being monday 28 feb 2005 9:47am.The management of African Developement Bank of Nigeria has scheduled a meeting concerning the issue which will involve the Board of Directors Today at 17:15 Gmt.

Details of the meeting will be passed across to you in due process.

thanks.

best regards.

Management.(ADB)

I should let Prince in on the good news.

Quote:

Prince Stanley:

Well, just look at this email I got today! It seems that things are going to work out just fine, despite all your pissing and moaning to the contrary! Prince, we are going to be up to our ass in money before you know it, baby!

So turn that frown upside down and shake your moneymaker!

Molly

Dear Molly Ringwald,

Your Affidavit documents that make you the next of kin to Mr John Robbert were received today being monday 28 feb 2005 9:47am.The management of African Developement Bank of Nigeria has scheduled a meeting concerning the issue which will involve the Board of Directors Today at 17:15 Gmt.

Details of the meeting will be passed across to you in due process.

thanks.

best regards.

Management.(ADB)

Mugus are soooooo cute when they try to be all legal and shit!

Quote:

Attn:Molly Ringwald,

During the Board of Directors meeting which was convened today at the Auditorium of the Board room, thus it was resolved by directors after due consultation.

A resolution was adopted that unless the incorbent alotee of the next of kin should produce the certificate of deposite which is sin quonon to the operational modalities of the bank.Also,due to a similar case which occured sometime ago where the total funds was released without the production of the certificate of deposit.

I know it might sound so ridiculous to you at this time but this is the modus operandi of this bank.So i hope something must to be done at this time in order to let us meet up this conditionalities of the bank.

Thanks.

Mr Mike Ugo.

Director (Foreign Payment Department).

African Development Bank of Nigeria.(ADB)

Quote:

ATTN:MADAM MOLLY,
I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAILS OF SATURDAY AND YESTERDAY ALL YOUR MAILS WAS ALL UNDERSTOOD AND ENBRASSING TODAY,FOR I WENT TO SEE MY SICK FATHER TO PUT HIM IN AN HOSPITAL THERE COULDN'T COMMUNICATE FROM MY VILLAGE I CAME BACK TO LAGOS ON MONDAY(YESTERDAY)WITH LAST FLIGHT.

WHAT WAS THE OUTCOME OF THE MEETING?YOU CAN ASWELL FURNISH THEM WITH YOUR BANKING DETAILS FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT BUT FIRSTLY I WILL LIKE TO ISSUE YOU A TEST OF LETTER OF AGREEMENT THAT YOU WILLTRANSFER INTO YOUR COMPANY LETTERHEADED PAPER AND FILL AND SEND TO US FOR WE HERE TO BE REST ASSURE THAT IF THIS FUND GET INTO YOUR ACCOUNT YOU WILL NOT SIT ON IT.BECAUSE I HAVE INVESTED ALMOST ALL I HAVE IN THIS BUSINESS TO BE SUCCESSFUL.

DR.GEOGE AWELLE CALLED ME SAYING THAT HE IS NOW TRUE THAT I SHOULD PRODUCE THE DETAILS OF MY FOREIGN PARTNER I PERSONALLY TOLD HIM THAT I HAVE A DEAL WITH YOU HE SHOULD EXECISE PATIENCE LET I FINALISED MINE BEFORE HIS, BUT ALL IS ABOUT TRUST.

MY LAWYER WILL BE DRAFTING THE DRAFT OF AGREEMENT LETTER SHORTLY.
THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSED.

PRINCE STANLEY

Huh? But wait... it gets better....! Wink

Quote:

AGREEMENT OF UNDERSTANDING

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This indenture Agreement is made on this day of - - - - march - - - - - - between mr Prince Stanley and co. and mrs Molly Ringwald Messr_____________of address which _expression where context to admits shall include the transferor and the transferee.

this agreement is made in order to certify that the two parties have common interest to carry out this project to the best of our knowledge namely as follows: That this project should be handled strickly on memuradum of understanding, thus i the benefactor is ready and willing to execute this project to it finalty and the said funds will be received and the percentage 20% of total sum of us$7,000.000.00.(seven million united state dollars).will be addueced by the benefactor of the next of kin.

This indenture/agreement should be signed and sealed and should be copied into your company's letter headed paper and copy despatched as agreed between me and you being the benefactor.

sign on this - - - - day of - - - - - -

Benefactors sign - - - - - - Partners sign - - - - - -

seal - - - - - -

Lawyer's sign - - - - - -

Quote:

ATTN: MOLLY,

WE AHVE NOT HERAD FROM YOU HOPE ALL IS WELL PLS REVERT .

THANKS

PRINCE STANLEY

Its time for some clarification.

Quote:

Prince:

What the hell is this? Your (UNKIND SLUR) bank has now decided that I need more paperwork (a certificate of deposit)? What the hell is this third-world bullshit? Prince, it sounds like you need to get on your stick, posthaste!

Sorry to hear about your dad. What is he sick with? Did he get ebola or ESOPHAGEAL CANCER? Please let me know so that I can send him an FTD Pick-Me-Up Bouquet!

Also, I meant to ask... why does a prince work at a bank? Shouldn't you be owning that bitch like a two dollar whore? These people should be answering to YOU, Stanley, not the other way around!

Molly

Quote:

ATTN:MOLLY,

I'M IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND THE MESSAGE FROM OUR BANK,WELL UNDERSTOOD BUT THAT'S ALRIGHT,MY FRIEND YOU DON'T HAVE TO SOUND BAD ABOUT ANYTHING THAT COME OUT OF THIS BUSINESS COS GETTING MONEY IS NOT EASY YOU KNOW,THIS DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE, I WILL KNOW HOW TO SMUGGLE IT OUT FROM THE FILE WHERE THE DOCUMENT OF LATE MR JOHN ROBBERT IS BEEN KEPT THAT'S HIGH RISK BUT I WILL TRY BUT TO SEE THAT THIS BUSINESS IS SUCCESSFUL BUT WHAT I AND MY COLLEAGUES HERE WANT FROM YOU KNOW IS TO TYPE THE AGREEMENT LETTER INTO YOUR COMPANY LETTER HEADED PAPER STAMP AND SEALED AND SIGN SEND BACK TO US.

FOR WE HERE HAVE SPEND ALOT OF MONEY IN THIS BUSINESS THAT YOU ARE NOT TAKING SERIOUS WE AGREED THAT THE AGREEMENT MUST BE SIGN BEFORE ANY FURTHER FULFILMENTS.

THANKS FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING, I ALSO APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN OVER MY FATHER'S ILLNESS.

PRINCE STANLEY.

NB:CAN YOU GIVE ME A CALL SO WE CAN TALK MORE.

Quote:

Prince:

So good to hear from you. Thanks for not answering any of my questions. That really instills great confidence, Prince. At least you have told me that the deal isn't over, and this little problem is to be expected. Well, that is a major relief I must say.

I have printed out your letter and attached it as an email. I hope that will help you to the utmost. Please do not accuse mke of being unserious again. I am following your instructions to the absolute best of my ability.

Again, what is your father sick with? did he come down with priapism? I hear that is going around right now, along with ebola. I hope it isn't ebola. If that were the case they might have to nuke the town like in that movie with Dustin Hoffman and the monkey.

Sincerely yours,
Molly

Of course, my attachment was a corrupt pdf/jpg/something.

Quote:

ATTN: MADAM MOLLY,

I'M IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND OUR REQUEST UNACCOMPLISHED WE ARE STILL WAITING THE AGREEMENT LETTER THAT WE REQUEST YOU TO TYPE INTO YOUR COMPANY LETTER HEADED PAPER AND SEND BACK TO US. FOR WE CAN VIEW NOTHING IN YOUR ATTACHMENT BEEN SENT.

BUT NOW WE HAVE NOT SEEN THE DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE OF MR JOHN ROBBERT WHERE THE FILE WAS WE CHECKED THERE WE COULDN'T FIND IT BUT WE ARE STILL LOOKING FOR IT WHEN WE ARE TRUE WE WILL MAKE A PHOTO COPY OF IT AND SEND TO YOU TO SEND TO THE BANK FOR PROVE BUT ONCE AGAIN OUR NEED FOR NOW IS TO TYPE THE LETTER OF AGREEMENT INTO YOUR COMPANY'S LETTER HEADED PAPER SIGNED AND SEALED THEN SEND BACK TO US FOR WE HAVE SPEND ALOT OF MONEY IN THIS TRANSACTION.

THANKS AS WE ARE HOPING FOR PROGRESS.

PRINCE STANLEY.

NB: MY FATHER IS NOW OK JUST OLD AGE.

Quote:

ATTN:MADAM MOLLY,

FURTHER TO OUR MAIL OF YESTERDAY WE HAVE BEEN WAITING TO RECEIVE YOUR AGREEMENT FOR WE HAVE SUCCEEDED IN GETTING THE PHOTOCOPY OFTHE DEPOSITE CERTIFICATE THAT MR JOHN ROBBERT USED IN DEPOSITING THE MONEY IN OUR BANK WE HAVE RE-PHOTOCOPIED IT BUT MY COLLEAGUES HERE ARE REQUESTING THAT YOU MUST PROVIDE TO US THE AGREEMENT LETTER FULLY STAMPED AND SEALED BEFORE THIS DEPOSITE CERTIFICATE CAN BE SEND TO YOU FOR THE PROVE.
THANKS AS YOU UNDERSTAND AND MEET TO OUR REQUEST FOR SUCCESSFUL CONCLUSION.

PRINCE STANLEY

Its time to turn the tables on our cheeky little prince!

Quote:

Hi Prince!

I am very glad to hear that you have found the necessary paperwork to get the deal moving again. Please send me a copy at your earliest convenience.

About your "agreement". You have so far begged me not to reveal any of this transaction to the bank, and I have not. You have also told me that this transaction is illegal under Nigerian banking law, and I understand this totally.

So tell me, "Prince", why in the name of crap do I have to fill out your make-believe legal document to agree to your illegal action? What are you going to do, go to your bank and say "I tried to illegally divert funds out of our bank, but Molly didn't hold up her end of the deal?" Yeah, that sounds like a great plan there, genius. Who's going to enforce your little "agreement"? I guess your made your bed on this one, and now you get to lay in it.

Molly

Quote:

ATTN:MADAM MOLLY,

AS I HAVE SAID IN MY PREVIOUS E-MAIL TO YOU THAT THE AGREEMENT IS VERY CRUCIAL BECAUSE THERE IS NO TRUST BETWEEN ME AND YOU IF YOU CANNOT SIGN THIS AGREEMENT.

HOW CAN I EVALUATE YOUR STATUES IF THE FUND IS FINALLY TRANSFERED TO YOUR NORMINATED BANK ACCOUNT.

WHAT IS THE CRITERIA THAT I WILL RECEIVE MY OWN SHARE AFTER THE TRANSFER OF THE FUND? SECONDLY, YOU HAVE NOT GIVEN ME A FULL ASSURANCE ABOUT YOURSELF AND IDENTIFICATION. SO, I NEED TO CONFIRMYOUR AUTHENSCITY AND YOUR WILLINGNESS AND PREPAREDNESS TO CONTINUE THIS BUSINESS WITHOUT FURTHER INTEROGATION ABOUT MY PERSON.

I KNOW TOO WELL THAT THIS IS A STOLEN MONEY, BUT NOTWITHSTANDING THIS IS MY LIFE INVESTMENT - SOFAR THIS IS WHY I AM WORKING VERY HARD TO FULFIL THE DREAM OF OUR TIME YEWHERE FRAUSTRATING MY EFFORT.

NEVER YOU BE TORMING BLOC TO THE PROGRESS OF THIS TRANSACTION, SO DELAY COULD BE DANGEROUS.THEREFORE,YOU HAVE TO ACT VERY SWIFTY AND FAST TO ACCOMPLISH THIS SWEET DREAM TO REALISED.

THANKS EXPECTING TO HEAR FROM YOU.

PRINCE STANLEY.

Heh, heh, heh. Twisted Evil

Quote:

Attn, Molly Ringwald,

Further to our last message sent to you concerning the deposit certificate we are hereby reminding you to hasting action in other for this fund to be transfered immediately to your account.

Best Regards.

Secretary:(ADB)

Whatever. Piss off.

Quote:

Hey Afrobank:

Please ask your employee Prince "Cupake" Stanley to provide you with that document. As you know, he is an exceptional employee who exemplfies the very phrase "customer service". I'd bet he would be willing to service anybody, anytime, anywhere, regardless of gender. He has offered me reach arounds many times when he didn't have to. Give him a nice fat raise too, since he has a blind daughter.

Anyway, Prince Stanley has that document. You need to ask him.

Sincerely,
Molly Ringwald

Its time to put the screws to the prince!

Quote:

Prince:

Since a meaningless, unenforceable document is so crucial to you, why don't you just go ahead and send it to me, sugar-britches? Also, what would happen if, hypothetically, I were to tell your bank about your illegal scheme? I figure you would lose your job at a bare minimum. There is also the possibility that you would wind up in jail. Having seen your womanly physique, I don't think you would last 5 minutes in the slammer. The other inmates would use you as currency. Plus that would definately leave your two sons, your wife and your blind daughter out in the cold. I guess what I am trying to say is, don't threaten me, hotshot. You need to do your part and play ball so that we can both come out winners on this deal.

Sincerely,
Molly Ringwald

Quote:

Prince:

Your silence is troubling. If you don't get moving with these funds by noon on Saturday, I'll blow the whole deal to your bank. Then you can service the most gutteral, twisted carnal desires of the larger inmates.

Love,

Molly Ringwald

I love it!!!! I still laugh when I read this!!!

Quote:

Subject: *DELETED* CRAZY ASSHOLE
From: "prince" <[email protected]> Add to Address Book
Date: Thu, 10 Mar 2005 17:37:59 -0500 (EST)

YOU BITCH, YOU HAVE DONE YOUR WORST THERE'S NOTHING ELSE YOU CAN DO.
LOOSER LIKE YOU.
BYE.

Quote:

Don't be so sure, hotshot! Wink

Kisses,
Molly

Quote:

Dear Afrobank:

I am sorry to tell you that your employee, Prince Stanley, is trying to rip off million s of dollars from your bank. I was going to help him before he tried to molest my chickens. You should lock him away with the biggest, baddest motherfucker you can find so that he can be man-raped daily for his attempted embezzelment.

He also has a very ugly blind daughter. If you wish, I can help you sell her vital organs on eBay as a way to make up for the funds that you have lost becuase of Prince "Muffy-Boy" Stanley. Since you are in Africa, we can probably also have his wife and sons converted into chops and flank steaks.

Lastly, he sent me the following document that I think will prove is complicity in the above mentioned crimes.

thank you,
Molly Ringwald

I sent a .pdf of everybody's favorite coprophiliac... bathing-lady!!! And now its time to ask the Prince some troubling questions.

Quote:

Dude!

What is up with your wack-ass family? That shit is totally fucked up!!!

Molly

I have to make good on my threat to Afrobank!

Quote:

Afridbank:

I am sorry to say that not only is Prince Stanley defrauding your bank of millions of dollars, but he is also invloved in illegal genetic experimentation. We're talking Island of Dr. Moreau type shit here, homey.

Haven't heard from the prince or the bank since. Its a shame, becuase I think we really could have gotten that money out of the bank.

Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 5:33 am

Larry, your modalities are excellent. A great read. You and the prince make a fine pair.

Quote:

HOW CAN I EVALUATE YOUR STATUES IF THE FUND IS FINALLY TRANSFERED TO YOUR NORMINATED BANK ACCOUNT.

Indeed. How can any of us?

And that family portrait is a classic.

Posted: Wed Mar 23, 2005 5:44 pm

Quote:

And that family portrait is a classic.

Which one? Laughing

I put a lot of time and effort into the last one, and I never got a reply. I'm still hurt about that.