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 The incestuous tale of Rita Abed

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Captain Blueballs
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 16
Location: At the Bada Bing in Antwerpen, Belgium


PostPosted: Fri Mar 18, 2005 12:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A friend of mine received a standard 419 letter from this address. So I made a new e-mail account and sent him a little teaser-mail :

(NOTE : Paul Bistiaux is a real person, he is the secretary of rafc (a club with a very dodgy reputation). Technically I’m not quite following Scambait etiquette for 100%, I suppose, but the man really is a complete ass. The company Technological Improvement & Education Telecom does not exist, I simply made up a company name that spelled TIET, which means as much as Tit.)


Quote:
Dear Mr. Okeke,

First off, I hope I got your e-mail right as I seem to have misplaced your business card. Otherwise, I am sure I will get an "undeliverable" notice and see you in Cape Town on March 2nd.

After consulting our engineers in a follow-up to our meeting on January 28th of this year, I'm afraid I have some bad news for you. As I feared the distance to shore makes it impossible for us to set up the standard X-Com II Relay system we talked about. Therefor the only way we could hook you up to the national network would be through installing an additional mast on the Luanda Star rig, but you mentionned this was impossible in view of existing safety restrictions.

In a nutshell, it would seem TIET cannot be of any assistance to you in this matter. I hope you will still consider us for other future projects and wish you luck in your endeavours.

Kind regards,

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Within 24 hours I receive this mail (and a few others which were even less interesting).

Quote:
From: rita abed <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: CALL FOR HELP
Date: Fri 02/11/05 07:56 PM

GREETINGS,

Based on the information and recommendation I gotabout quick growth of business, investment andcommerce in your country, I deemed it necessary towrite and inform you about my interest to invest inany viable venture in joint partnership with you.I am Mrs Rita Abed the first wife of king George Abed K.S.M the king ofmende tribe in Sierra-Leone. On the 19th May, 2000 my husband was murderedby some rebel group on the accusation that he is a great sponsor and insupport to restore the democratically elected President of Alhadji TejanKabba. Almost half of the palace was burnt.Fortunately I was not in theplace when they raided the palace my husband married 4 wives with 16 childrentwo of the wives, with my 3 children where murdered in cold blood whilemy second son escape the incident with bullet wounds on his rightleg at the moment where the remaining families are Idon?t know their way about whether they are alive ornot.Right now I am left alone with only one son since thesudden assassination of my husband the family has beendisplaced and totally disorganized left with noting.Early that year befor my husband was Late husband wasmurdered he came back from travel and gave me somedocument to keep for him as usual he told me that hedeposited 18.5 million USD in a trunk box with privatesecurity company in Abidjan Côte d?Ivoire as a familytreasure. So I decided to go and search for thedocuments where I use to keep them I discovered thedocuments covering the deposit he made with thecompany and some other documents like his will andother documents for his business. As my town has beena serious war zone, I made arrangement with two peacekeeping force to help me and my son move out of thecountry, however we moved out of Sierra-Leonesuccessfully, to Abidjan Côte d?Ivoire where we arenow. I have gone and conform the deposit with thecompany with all the documents all the documents arewith me here.Now I wish to transfer these funds abroad and enterinto a business venture as the country (Côte d?Ivoire)is no longer in peace since they conducted theirPresidential election on the 22nd October 2000 thecountry has witness all sort of political unrestranging from ethnic clash which resulted to killing ofinnocent citizens and strangers people are living infears as the country is no longer that peaceful nationas it was before due to this reason that I havedecided to contact you, to assist me to lift this myconsignment out of this country.Please I need your assistance.Waiting for your urgent reply.
Thanks and God bless.
Best regards.
Mrs Rita Abed


Since I was hoping to make them send me some “arse clown” pictures, I turned Rita down initially and mentionned football, hoping she’d introduce me to some local “good cause” or a “bona fide” players manager she might know.

Quote:
From: Paul Bistiaux <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
To: rita abed <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: CALL FOR HELP
Date: Mon 02/14/05 02:03 AM

Dear Mrs Abed,

As secretary of Royal Antwerp Football Club, I have visited West-Africa many times, often to scout players or make deals with local clubs. I have a great love for this region and its people, so I am glad the troubles in Sierra Leone (home of striker Paul Kpaka) are finally in sight.

Although I sympathize with your personal loss, I hope you can understand that I, as a public figure and respected businessman cannot participate in the transfer of private funds.

Kind regards,

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne

BelgiumTechnological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Rita won’t take no for an answer, oh well, let’s give it a go.

Quote:
From: rita abed <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Thanks for your concern.
Date: Mon 02/14/05 07:47 AM

My Dearest One Dr. Paul Bistiaux,

I thank you so much for your kind mail to me which i received with thanks and respect to you with all my heart.I really know that this transaction will be a surprise to you, but you have to believe with me and let us proceed this transaction with one mind ok.

My Dear,As i have explained to you in my very first mail to you,the money was deposited to the security company by my late husband,and he deposited the money in a trunk box to the security company as family valuables to the security company for safe keeping,so the security company management is not aware of the real content of the box. I will need your support and assistance, so that we get this box out fromthe security company, then to see if you can make it to come down here inAbidjan, if possible, but if you can't make it, we have to arrange withthe security company, let them deliver the box to meet you over there in your country via diplomatic cago, but before we carry out the instruction as the company to move the box to meet you, youhave to give me full details of your home and office contacts, give me someinvestments plans you have concerning the money as it comes to your position. I will send the proof documents issued by the security company, so thatyou have some verification and understanding.

So as you read this email now, all you have to do is to check very wellwhat and what we have to invest in your country with this money.
2. Give me all your contact details.
3. Are you married? if yes, How many children? I will be waiting to hear from you urgently to enable me give you more details as to proceed immediately, Thanks and may God be with us all,

Sincerely,
Madam Rita Abed.


Let’s see if playing Mister Honest makes her more eager…

Quote:
Dear Mrs. Abed,
Against my better judgement I have dediced to look into this matter, in order to see if I can be of any help to you.
Please note that my sole reason for doing so is to help you personally as well as the people of West-Africa. I myself DO NOT want any financial reward, so if any money is to be made from this transaction, I wish for it to be re-invested in local causes, such as youth work, sports facilities, etc. This is very important to me, as I also have my reputation as a business man and public figure (as secretary of Royal Antwerp Football Club) to consider. It would be unethical of me to enrich myself through transactions other than those of my company TIET.
This being said, I look forward to the security documents of which you speak, as I am sure you understand I am anxious to verify your claims. The fastest way is to take a picture of these documents and attach this to an e-mail, I think.
My personal information is that I am divorced, aged 49 and have one son, Sergio, from my previous marriage. If I am not at work at TIET, I am usually over at the club (rafc, my picture is on the site if you are interested) :

Bosuilstadion
Oude Bosuilbaan 54a
2100 Deurne - Antwerpen (Belgium)

(RAFC CLUB ADDRESS)

However, there is a big chance that for this particular matter I myself will not be the one to travel to Sierra Leone or Côte D'Ivoire, as I will be in England quite a lot over the next weeks. I am currently negociating with our friends of Manchester United concerning the transfer of some young talented players. Therefor it is quite likely that one of our talent scouts ; Mr. Kapitein Kontpiraat or Mr. Siegfried von Kartoffelstump will help you out with the actual transaction. Both are very reliable men, with whom I have worked for many years and who travel to Ghana, Nigeria and many other countries in the region all the time.
For now, I shall await the documents.
Godspeed,

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Rita thinks she’s got herself a class A dumbo, so she doesn’t want to involve others… (Kapitein Kontpiraat translates Captain Asspirate)

Quote:
From: rita abed <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Urgent!
Date: Wed 02/16/05 05:16 AM

My Dearest One Dr. Paul Bistiaux.

I thank you so much for your kind mail to me which i received with thanks and all my respect to you,and i really thank you so much for the way that you have expressed your self to me and the investment idia that you have suggested which makes me to belive more in you that you are the kind of person i need and i can trust in this transaction.

My Dear,i want to let you know that i contact you for your assisting and i will not like the setuation wereby you will invite another person in this transaction ok,and i want you to keep this transaction very confidentail,because you and i know this transactionis about money and never a small money,so please i will not like you to invite a another person ok.I want you to know that i have given you all trust from my heart and i will not lke the setuation wereby you will betray me at the end.

My Dear,since you said that you can not travel down to africa,i will like you to contact the security company were the box was deposited,tell them that you are my family friend who wants to help me claim the box deposited by my late husband due to his death and that you want them to deliver the box to meet with you over there in your country via diplomatic cago.I will send to you th documents issued by the security company letter,because were i kept them are very fear,but i will send them to you soonest,but meanwhile Below is the full contact of the security company,

Asssistance2000 Security Company,Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire,West Africa,
Tel:+225 05 83 21 02Fax:+225 21 28 42 68E
mail:[email protected]
Contact Person:Dr Benson Macel,Operation Manager.

My Dear,i will like you to contact them immediately,let see if they will agree to deliver the box to meet with you,because that is the most importent issue we have to face right now,please when contacting the security company,always remember that the box was deposited as family valuables by my late husband ok,not as money,because the security company management is not aware of the real content of the box ok.

Finally,i will like you to also send your full contact details to me ok,your residence address,your tel/fax numbers to enable know who i a deling with. I will be waiting to hear from you as soon as you contact the security company,so that i will be updated in what you discuss with them ok. I thank you once again for all your efforts and undestanding. Thanks andmay God be with you togethe with all members of your good family,

Sincerely I remain,
Madam Rita.


I misplaced my initial response (or there was a problem with my account and it was never sent). In short I am outraged about her questioning my integrity or that of my close and trusted friends. Also I want some proof before I proceed.Just to make sure, I send her this second one.

Quote:

From: Paul Bistiaux <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
To: rita abed <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Where are you???
Date: Fri 02/18/05 01:45 AM

Dear Rita,

As I explained (unless my mail did not reach you) I am in Manchester right now, we (our club President Mr. Wauters and I) are in negociations with Manchester United. We were hoping to get some talented young players from them (especially one or two strikers), but it seems we will only get a goalkeeper.

I will repeat what I said in my last mail. Before proceeding and contacting this security company, I want 3 things.
1. Proof of your identity. (scanned passport documents)
2. Proof of your husbands identity (scanned passport, wedding picture, wedding documents or something else).
3. Papers proving he has/had a security box at this security company (again, scanned documents).

Otherwise I cannot contact them claiming to be someone I am not. I have no desire to risk my reputation as a business man and a respect member of my community without any proof.

Godspeed,

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Sure enough, “proof” is provided.

Quote:
From: rita abed <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: I thank you so much for your concern and understanding.
Date: Fri 02/18/05 09:42 AM

My Dearest One Dr. Paul Bistiaux,

I thank you so much for your kind mail to me and all your efforst and willingness as to assist me in this transaction and i promise you that you will never regret assisting me in this transaction.

My Dear,i have told you ealier in my in my fromer mail to you that i lost so many of my properties because of the crisis over here in this country cote d ivoire ABIDJAN,because the place i was living,the rebels came and everyonr have to run away for their life,so run away and lost my passport,so many of my inportant things,even my late husband picture,but my late husband picture in still with the security company.and i stil have some,but the place kept them are very fear from were i live and i will try and get them for you soonest.Even i am lucky that i did not keep the documents of the security company the same place i kept the other.

On the attachement is a copy of my picture and also the document issued by the security company to my late husband on the day of the deposite of the box in thier costudy.The document is the certificate of the deposite between my late husband and the security company.

My Dear,you don't have to worry or fear about anything because,this transaction is %100 risk free and the security company managemnt knows me as the next of kin,so you don't have to worry,all i need from you is to contact them and tell them that you are my family friend who wants to help me claim the box deposited by my late husband due to his death,and that they should deliver the box to meet with you over there in your country via diplomatic cago.

My Dear,i contact you because the political crisis over here in this country is geting serious every day,and i am very afraid that anything may happen any day or any time in this country and it will affect the box in that security company,and that is why i need your urgent assistance so that this box will be out from that security company to a very safe place were we can invest the fund for good,right now my present financail setuation is very bad for me to handle this transaction all alone and that is why i contacted you and trusted so much in you because of your personality.so please belive with me and contact the security company so that their can use their diplomat means an d deliver the box to you over there in your country.

I will be waiting to hear from you as soon as you contact the security company,lets ee if they wil agree to deliver the box to you,because i have been communicating with the operation manager of the company Dr Benson Macel,and he told me that they can deliver the box to any par of the world through diplomatic cago.Please when contacting the security company,always remember that the box was deposited as family valuables by my late husband ok,bescause the security company is not aware of the real content of the box.

I will be waiting to hear from you urgently as soon as you contact the security company ok,and i thank you once again for all your concern and understanding. I thanks and may God be with us and all and make a way for us and give us the mind to trust each other.

Sincerely i remain,
Madam Rita Abed.


http://paul-bistiaux.tripod.com//scambaiting/Madam.jpg

http://paul-bistiaux.tripod.com//scambaiting/ABED.jpg

After receiving such convincing proof, surely Paul will jump right into the trap? Unfortunately, Paul is having some problems of his own.

Quote:
Dear Rita,

It is good to hear from you, though I am very sorry I could not reply sooner, but I have been quite ill after my business trip to England.

As you probably know, they still have big problems with foot-and-mouth disease over there. And I suppose that in hindsight my decision to visit that bawdyhouse was perhaps an unwise one. I must admit though that Mister Ferguson was quite right ; those mancunian slags Please note I have a lot of respect for Manchester City supporters and would like to apologize to them for this part of my mail. can spank like a catholic priest on speed and create enough suction to puff a golf ball through a garden hoze.
Alas, two days later I have quite a fever and a burning sensation all over my body. Especially my trouser-iguana is in quite a state, all puffy and red, the poor little bugger. But I won't bore you with my health problems, as I am sure you have suffered plenty of such afflictions yourself.

I have received the documents from Mister Macel and they look authentic, so I now know this is a legitimate transaction. The only thing which still worries me is the identity thing. I have now received a picture, but how can I be sure that the attractive woman on it is really you ? And how do I know that you are really Mrs. Abed ? Would it be possible to send me another picture of you holding up some sort of sign to prove it was recently photograped ? Perhaps a sign saying : Paul Bistiaux / Kapitein Kontpiraat ?

I am sorry if I seem overly suspicious, but you hear all sorts of stories about good people being cheated. I promise you that, once my lasts doubts have been wiped away, we can proceed swiftly.

Godspeed,

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Rita was a little puzzled this last mail, I think. Either she was a little shocked by Paulies wild weekend or she doesn’t feel like coming up with the required picture… She pretends she never got my mail.

Quote:
From: rita abed <[email protected]>
Date: Tue, 22 Feb 2005 01:18:31 +0100 (CET)
To: [email protected]
Subject: Plesae i beg you with god almhty help me

Deraest one,Paul Bistiaux

Good day , please it's to remind you that i have heard from you since this country started their crisis ,please get back to me so that i will know wheather you are still capable to help me again or not ,so that i will know what else to do.

Thanks and remain bless allways.
Yours Rita,


You’re not weaselling out of this one, lass ! I resend me previous mail.

Quote:
From: rita abed <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Urgent
Date: Tue 02/22/05 03:12 AM

My Dearest One Dr. Paul Bistiaux

Thanks for your mail to me,however,i want to let you know that right now i don't too much time to waste any more,I contacted you for your assistance which you promise to assist me,you told me that you wanted my picture for identification me,which also did,you also told me that you needed to see the prove documents which i also gave to you that i will never give to anyone ealse.

But right now you are still teling me that i should take a picture of what i don't know. My Dear,you and i know that this transaction,is what you and i will benefit at the end,you are not assisting for free ok.

I have told you that there is a very big political crisis over here in this country and you are still wasteing all this time,i have told you to contact the security company were the box was deposited by my late father Her father !? Old King George was her father ànd her husband ? Then again, being a whoremonger and a spank-addict with a VD, who am I to judge… ,so that you will see and belive what i am telling you,but still,you have not.

My Dear,please i will like to you to open up to me,if really you want to assist me or not so that i will know what to do immediately.Because the major problem we have is how the box will live that security company.

So please i will be waiting to hear from you urgently,

Thanks God bless,
Sincerely Rita.


But I shall not be moved.

Quote:
Dear Rita,

I understand the urgency of your problem and I am very much willing to contact Mr. Macel to help you. But you must understand that I cannot risk my reputation as a successful businessman unless I am sure that you are indeed Rita Abed, daughter just checking :] of the late King George.

To prove this I ask only one thing, send me a mail with a picture of you holding a sign that reads :
Paul Bistiaux
Kapitein Kontpiraat
This way I am sure the person in the picture is really you.

Kind regards,

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Then again, neither will Rita, nor her dead father/husband.

Quote:
From: rita abed <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Plesae i beg you with god almhty help me Plesae
Date: Thu 02/24/05 12:28 AM

My Dearest One Dr. Paul Bistiaux

Thanks for your mail to me,however,i want to let you know that right now i don't too much time to waste any more,I contacted you for your assistance which you promise to assist me,you told me that you wanted my picture for identification me,which also did,you also told me that you needed to see the prove documents which i also gave to you that i will never give to anyone ealse.

But right now you are still teling me that i should take a picture of what i don't know. My Dear,you and i know that this transaction,is what you and i will benefit at the end,you are not assisting for free ok.I have told you that there is a very big political crisis over here in this country and you are still wasteing all this time,i have told you to contact the security company were the box was deposited by my late father,so that you will see and belive what i am telling you,but still,you have not.

My Dear,please i will like to you to open up to me,if really you want to assist me or not so that i will know what to do immediately.
Because the major problem we have is how the box will live that security company.
So please i will be waiting to hear from you urgently,
Thanks God bless,
SincerelyRita.


The hell with it, I’ll just have some fun and let my imagination run riot.

Quote:
Dear Rita,

I am very sorry I could not respond any sooner, but things are pretty bad here. The weather has gone very cold all of a sudden and snow is falling from the sky like never before. Most roads are closed because driving right now is very dangerous if not impossible. But as I have found out for myself, there are other things more dangerous than that.

Because of the cold, the wild animals are coming down from the mountains, looking for food. Wolves, moose, jackasses, mongoose, wild boars and most dangerous of all, bears. Mostly they will remain out of the towns and villages, but the villa (Casa Goldilocks) where I live is also in the countryside.

So when I got home last night, I was in for quite a shock; three bears were camping out on my front yard ! They had raided my garbage cans, eaten the vegetables in my garden, urinated on my porch and shat on my garden gnome. But worst of all, I couldn't get out of my car, because they still looked quite hungry and aggressive.

So I called my son Sergio on my mobile. Maybe I have told you already that he recently found a job as a bouncer in a nightclub called Bummers ? It would seem he really enjoys his work and is quite popular amongst the customers. He has made a lot of new friends (he has even mentioned he lets some of them in through the back door as a personal favour) and this makes me very happy. The happiness of my son means a great deal to me, you see, as he is the only family I have.

Anyway, since he is big hairy man often dressed in leather, I was hoping his appearance would scare the bears away. Sergio came straight away and tried many things ; he shouted at the bears, threw sticks and even swung his wedding tackle at them in a menacing way. But the bears would not go away.

So then we tried something else, we played loud music on our car radio's. At first they did not seem to care about the noise, but when we put the volume on maximum for "It's raining men." by Ginger Minge Spice (do you know this song ?) they finally went away. I must say I did not sleep all night, because I was afraid they might come back, sniffing at my back door.

But enough about me, how are you doing ? I hope you are safe and I hope we can get you out of this bad situation very soon. But I am very sorry to have to say my problem is still the same : I have seen the documents and I am convinced the transaction is legitimate, but how do I know the person on the picture is you ? Anyone could have cut a photo out of a newspaper and magazine, you know ?

The only thing I ask for is a picture of you which can guarantee me that you are Rita Abed. This means, a picture of you holding up a large piece of paper with PAUL BISTIAUX, KAPITEIN KONTPIRAAT written on it. Surely this is not so hard to do ?

I must leave you now, I have a meeting planned with Mr. Leeson, a bank manager from Barings Bank in London who wants to talk about sponsoring our football club. I am confident we will come to a deal as he is a man with a keen eye for good investments.

Godspeed,

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


My good friend Rita still didn’t pick up on my little clues. But she’s not going to send me a new picture either… Notice how Old George goes back from father to husband.

Quote:
From: rita abed <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: VERY VERY URGENT
Date: Fri 02/25/05 05:05 AM

My Dearest One Dr. Paul Bistiaux,

I thank you so much for your kind mail to me and i am so sorry for what happened between you and the animals.

My Dear,first i contacted you for your assistance which you promised to assist me told me to send to you the prove ducuments issued by the security company to my late husband on the day he made the deposited of the consignment is their costudy,which i also did.

You told me to send my pisture to you and i also did thesame,but i don't even have anything to prove that you are the right person i comunication not even a telephone number from you,not even a picture from you,and right now you are telling to go and take another picture that i wil be holding what so ever you call it.

My Dear,i want to let you know that this transaction is what you and i will benefit from at the end when you will have that box in your position, and you and not assisting me for free ok. Like i told i don't have much time to be wasteing in this transaction, this country is having a very big political crisis ok and i want my box to get out from that security company ok,that is my mission.So please i will like to hear from you if really you are still intrested in assiting me in this transaction or not so that i will know what do immediately.

Even i gave to you the contact details of the security company,but still you never contact them and less see if the will agree to deliver the box to you.I await for your mail urgently to enable know what to do immediately.

Madam Rita.


Maybe I’ll rattle her cage a little by sending in … [cue drum roll] KAPITEIN KONTPIRAAT !

Quote:
Rita,

We are not moving forward with this, but I think I have another solution.

Next week, our club scout Kapitein Kontpiraat will be in Ghana to arrange some transfer papers for Asare and Opoku, two local players. He will be in Ghana for a couple of days and he has very good local contacts (especially in poof bars) so I am sure he can get accross the border to meet you. I will give him the picture you sent me so he can verify you are the person in the picture. Where would you like him to meet you ? Are you in the Abidjan area ?

If you cannot wait that long, the only alternative is sending me the picture I asked for. A picture of you holding a piece of paper on which is written : PAUL BISTIAUX / KAPITEIN KONTPIRAAT. Send it and I will contact Mr. Macele straight away, you have my word.

Meanwhile, the weather has gotten better here and I haven't seen any wild animals around my house any more. Let us pray to our Lord Buddha it stays that way. Are you a religious person, Rita ? As a token of faith, I have attached my picture and that of my son Sergio.

Godspeed,

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


http://paul-bistiaux.tripod.com//scambaiting/bistiaux.jpg

http://paul-bistiaux.tripod.com//scambaiting/sergio.jpg

They do actually look alike, don’t they? Sergio is in fact a Belgian singer (well, he moans into the mike and shakes his arse whilst doing so). Can you believe we even sent this git to the Eurovision song contest? He finished 12th I think. Hell, Rita would probably have done better…
I’m not sure he’ll be too pleased if he ever finds out he has the reputation of a gay bouncer and exhibitionist bear-baiter in West Africa, but he sure looks the part.

Meanwhile, Rita is not responding. She seems reluctant to meet Kapitein Kontpiraat. I wonder why that is...


Quote:
Rita, my dearest cumho,

I have not heard from you since Friday and I am very worried about your safety. Please mail me back as soon as possible.
Also Kapitein Kontpiraat is leaving for Ghana on Thursday. I have already given him your picture, but where shall I tell him to meet you ? He will be tied up for business on Friday, but during the weekend he is able to make time to come and see you. He will either go by boat via the city of Sekondi or travel to the town of Wa (Upper West Region) and cross the border there. Just give me a time and place and Kapitein will be there.

You will have to excuse me now, I am on my way to the hospital. My son Sergio has been admitted and is in need of surgery, a sphincteroscopy possibly followed by a sphincterectomy to be precise. I am very worried about his welbeing, but he is not nervous about it himself. He says he has faced bigger things than the sphincteroscope in his life and he is certain it will go through without problems.

He is such a brave boy, or should I say man, let us pray for his good health.

Godspeed,

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Rita’s not responding. I sent her another mail (which the system ate…) urging her to respond, talking about my dread that she has been captured by the local rebels (zappatists, lead by Pancho Villa) and assuring her that Sergio’s surgery went very smoothly.

Still no response, so I move on to the trustworthy Mr. Macel…


Quote:
From: Paul Bistiaux <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Concerning King George Abed / To Mr. Macel
Date: Wed 03/02/05 05:53 AM

Hello Mr. Macel,

My name is Paul Bistiaux and I am a Belgian businessman. In the past I have had many transactions with King George Abed of Liberia. I hear he has passed away and I am very sorry about this.

I am still in contact with Mrs. Abed, who has informed me of a safety deposit box which is in your custody I believe. She and I think this box might contain important papers vital for our business. Could you be of assistance to us in order to get of hold of the documents ?

Kind regards,

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner


It’s a good thing Mr. Macel wasn’t kidnapped by Pancho Villa and the Zappatist Rebels, he gets back to me straight away.

Quote:
From: "ASSISTANCE 2000 SECURITY COMPANY" <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Attention to Dr. Paul Bistiaux.
Date: Wed 03/02/05 02:43 PM


Assistance2000 Security Company
Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire,
Tel:+225 05 83 21 02 / Fax +225 21 28 42 68
Email:[email protected]
Attention to Dr. Paul Bistiaux,

Sir,Your email letter have been received by the entire management of this company,and we will get back to you with all the requirements as soon as we comfirm the receipt of your mail.

Thanks for your co-operation,
Yours on service,
Dr Benson Macel,
Operation Manager,
Assistance2000.


Received by the ENTIRE management ? Boy, I AM impressed !
Being an honest and godfearing individual, I keep Rita informed. Maybe this will bring her back to life.


Quote:
From: Paul Bistiaux <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
To: "Rita Abed" <[email protected]>
Subject: Fwd: Concerning King George Abed / To Mr. Macel
Date: Wed 03/02/05 06:11 AM

Dear Rita,

I don't know if you got my last mail. I have decided to help you, I have sent this mail (see below) to Mister Macel.

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
BelgiumTechnological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.

--- Begin forwarded message: From: Paul Bistiaux <[email protected]>Date: Wed, 2 Mar 2005 05:53:40 -0800 (PST)To: [email protected]: Concerning King George Abed / To Mr. Macel

Hello Mr. Macel,

My name is Paul Bistiaux and I am a Belgian businessman. In the past I have had many transactions with King George Abed of Liberia. I hear he has passed away and I am very sorry about this.

I am still in contact with Mrs. Abed, who has informed me of a safety deposit box which is in your custody I believe. She and I think this box might contain important papers vital for our business. Could you be of assistance to us in order to get of hold of the documents ?

Kind regards,

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


My reply to benson is strictly business, no use boring them with stories about my son Sergio… not yet anyway.

Quote:
I have received your mail, kindly proceed with the necessary procedures.
Yours truly,

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium


Praise the Lord, she’s alive !

Quote:
From: rita abed <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Madam Abed
Date: Thu 03/03/05 02:26 AM

My Dearest One Dr. Paul,

I thank you so much for your kind mail to me which i received with thanks and all my respect to you,and i really thank you so much for all your efforts and willingness that you are puting as to assist me in this transaction.

However,i have been very worried why i have not hear from you since all this while before i saw your mail.My Dear,the security company operation manager Dr Benson Macel,contacted me,trying to find out from me if you are my family friend and the real person that they will be delivering the box to,and i have comfirmed to him immediately that you are family friend and the right person that is suposed to receive the box on my behalf,because he also told me that you were saying in your mail to their company that i and my late husband are from liberia insted of Sierra leone,so i told him is a mistake,please my dear also remember that we are from Sierra Leone ok,not liberia.

So My Dear,right now the operation manager of the company has agreed that their company will make the delivery of the box to you,and that they will get back to you with their requirements.

My Dear,i want to let you know that i thank you so much for all what you hgave done for me and i want you to know that you will never regret assisting me in this transaction.Finally,i willl be waiting to hear from you always as soon as you hear from the security company so thaty i will be updated.I thank you once again for your concern and uderstanding.

Thanks and may God be with us all and make a way for us.

Sincerely i remain,
Madam Rita Abed.


Liberia, Sierra Leone, what’s the diffy, woman !

Quote:
From: Paul Bistiaux <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
To: rita abed <[email protected]>
Cc: "Anita Gudbang" <[email protected]>
Subject: Re: Madam Abed
Date: Thu 03/03/05 03:49 AM

Dear Rita,

I am so happy to hear from you again ! I was convinced you had fallen into the hands of the Ivorian Zappatist Rebels, lead by this mister Villa. But you say you did not get my earlier mails ? This is very unfortunate... Not even the one with the pictures of Sergio and myself ? I will attach them again, so you can see what we look like.

I also want to apologize for mistaking your country with Liberia, as we are all more than aware that all Liberians are lazy wankjobs with an unnatural interest in goats and other barnyard animals. I will not make this mistake ever again,I promise.

You will have to forgive me for being so brief, but I have to go to the hospital to get some shots before I can leave for Manchester again. Mister Ferguson has warned me that he has a caught a bad case of the clap (on top of his crabs) and I wouldn't want to get any of the local diseases myself.

If you need more information from me, please contact my personal secretary Anita. Her address is : [email protected]

Godspeed,

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Meanwhile, our new friend Benson Macel sends another mail (btw my mail was once again received by the entire management…). What’s wrong with these people, they just sit around all day and read all incoming mail? Don’t they have a life?), but this mail is forwarded to Anita Güdbang.

Quote:
From: Paul Bistiaux <[email protected]>
Date: Thu, 3 Mar 2005 08:52:40 -0800 (PST)
To: "Anita Gudbang" <[email protected]>
Subject: AUTOMATED FORWARD - MCPMAIL

--- Begin forwarded message:

From: "ASSISTANCE 2000 SECURITY COMPANY" <[email protected]>
Date: Thu, 03 Mar 2005 08:04:24 -0500
To: [email protected]
Subject: Attention to Dr. Paul Bistiaux.
Assistance2000 Security Company
Abidjan - Cote D'Ivoire
Tel: +225 0583 2102 / Fax: +225 2128 4268
Email: [email protected]

Attention to Dr. Paul Bistiaux,
Sir,
Your email letter have being received by the entire management of this company, as we can understand with you, you were instructed to contact the company by Mrs Rita Abed, whom her trunk box is in our custody here,deposited by her late husband, as to be retrieve by her foreign partner-Family friend.
Sir, You are welcome, as we can understand very well from the files that you are ready to retrieve the consignment from the company, you have to comply with us and give us all the requirements as we proceed.

Sir, before we proceed, these are our conditions and we will expect you to comply with us and let us know the one you like us to proceed.
1. we make home delivery, as you demand.
2. you are free to come down here to retrieve the box from our office and pay our security charges.
3. you can travel to any of our branches in London, Dubai, India, Holland, Egypt, Canada, Spain, Senegal, and Ghana.

You are free to choose any of these services, if you want us to make the delivery to your home, then you confirm to us, then we have to give you the details and how to proceed, if you can come down here in Abidjan, you are free and you let us know, then if you can choose to travell to any of our branches mentioned aboved, you are still free to let us know, we can move the trunk box to meet you there.
We have to let you know that our service to you must be the best with respect as you comply with us, because we promise to give you the best of our service for your understanding and also give you the best protection of your consignment untill it gets to you in your position.

For your information Sir, we need your full contact address where we are delivering the box, a copy of your ID CARD for identification, your telephone-fax numbers, as we hear from you, then we proceed.
The Executives of the company will send a letter of Guarantee to you for confirmation.
You are welcome with respect.
Thanks for your co-operation
Dr Benson Macel, Operation Manager, Assistance2000.


Home deliveries ? I wonder if they do pizza too. Maybe Anita will ask him, I have a feeling that poor girl will have a lot of questions for Mr. Macel. She is after all new and, as it will turn out, nice but dim.

Quote:
From: Anita Gudbang <[email protected]>
Reply-To: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
Subject: Fwd: AUTOMATED FORWARD - MCPMAIL
Date: Fri 03/04/05 01:09 AM

Hello Mister Benson,

My name is Anita Güdbang, I am the private secretary of the Managing Directir Paul Bistiaux. I woudl like to apalogise first for my typing, but my english is not very good and it is difficult for me to see my keryboard because of my ample rack. I have only just startde working for mister Bistiaux so I am new here and do not alsways know how to handle things. Before this job I worked in the hair salon, so you see this is very different.

If I am coorrect you want to know the phone number and fax to reach mister bistiaux ? I am sorry to tell you, but he is in Manchetser right now, so it is difficult to reech him. I have looked in his agenda and it says he is in quite a few meetings with "SOB Ferguson", "Arseface O'Neil"and a few other names I saw. If you want I can give you the phone and fax number of Manchester United ?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm trying to figure out the phione system, it has a lot of flashing lights and I think they are messages. Also, I'm getting my fanny waxed in the afternoon.

You have a nice weekend now !

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Anita, who might be sharing a bit too much, is being quite helpful, isn’t she ? Too bad about her limited typing skills, though.

TO BE CONTINUED

_________________
Attention to whom it may concern.

For your information,we are not beging you to pay any money to our company and you are not the person that will tell us the way we receive payments from our clints ok.So for your information,never you write to our management again,you can go back to your partner and tell her that she should come by herself.

Finally,we regret having you as our clint.tell your Mr who so ever that he should go to hell with his money.

Dr Macel.

Last edited by Captain Blueballs on Fri Mar 18, 2005 4:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Captain Blueballs
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Joined: 23 Feb 2005
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2005 3:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

PART II

Quote:

From: "ASSISTANCE 2000 SECURITY COMPANY" <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
Subject: Reconfirmation to your request.
Date: Fri 03/04/05 05:40 AM

Attachments
Name Type Save View
Message text/html Save

Attn: Mrs. Anita Güdbang, Dear Madam,It has come to our notice after reading your mail, that you sent us an email on behalf of Mr. Paul Bistiaux, in regards to the box deposited in our firm by Late King George Abed of behalf of his wife Mrs. Rita Abed.Thereafter, we don't transact with two people at thesame time, in order for the consignment not to have any problem, so please bear with us that we can not give you any details about your request, so all you needed is to go back to your partner and get a letter of authorization that is duly signed and approve by a lawyer that will empower you to make claims of her consignment deposited in our firm.Finally, we wish to serve you better.

Best Regards,

Dr. Benson Macel.Operation Manager.


Well shave my crotch and call me Old Kojakballs ! Our lad Benson is being picky about who is going to do transactions with… (un)fortunably Miss Güdbang is a woman who has never even heard of the word “no”. I bet that makes her quite popular at office parties.

Also, why hasn’t the entire management read that last mail !? They only read Paul’s stuff ? Are mails from a mere executive secretary beneath them ? The hell do they think they are, damn bunch of snooty snobs !


Quote:
Dear Mister Benson,

I am happy to let you know I have found the phone and fax number you asked for. : +44 (0) 906 7164000 and Fax +44 (0) 161 8688808.But you understand I cannot give you Paul's ID-card as he has that with him on his jurney to Manchetser. And he cannot sign any letters himself because he is not here...

But I ashure yuo that I can get any information you need, like bank accounts, adresses or other things. Paul calls me every evening so I can ask him what you need to know and he said I can sign papers in his place. I also have a key to his house, because I have some clothes their and I go every night to feed his fishes while he is away.So just let me now what it is you want to now, ok ? Anita will fix it ;o]

Bye bye,

Anita Güdbang

Executive SecretaryTechnological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Not only can he now send faxes to Man U Radio 1413am, he can also call ManUFree.net Support at a mere 50 p per minute (should I have told him about that ?) Well, I’m sure he won’t be too crossed now he is in contact with a bimbo willing to give him all the information he wants...

Quote:
Attn: Mrs. Anita Güdbang,

Dear Madam,

We Assistance2000 Security and Finance Company wish to reconfirm you once again in receipt of your mail. For your information, the letter of authorization will come up from your partner Mrs. Rita Abed, however you should try and get back to her and ask her to give you a Letter of Authorization that is duly sign and approved by an antorney here in Abidjan, Cote d' Ivoire.

On receipt of the letter of authorization, the full details on how the consignment will be deliver to you will be sent to you, and please bear with us and get back to your partner in order to get those information that will enable us to proceed with your request.We wish to serve you better.

Best Regards,

Dr. Benson Macel.
Operation Manager.


Bla-bla-bla. This all sounds a bit boring, Benson, attorneys, letters, consignments,…I think I liked you better as a butler. Besides, why did the entire management fail read my letter,… AGAIN. I get the feeling I’m getting snubbed here !Also, me thinks this is all way to complicated for lil’ Anita…

Quote:
Mister benson,

I am not shure I understand ? I do not know any Rita and I don't think she is a partner or shareholder of our company TIET. Does Paul know this person ? I will call him tonight.

Also, Paul is a lawyer himself, so he can sign whatever you like if you just fax it to ManChetster and then he will fax it back.

You also speak of another partner, my partner ? I'm seeing many people at the moment but I wouldn't cakll any of them my partner. Not even Paul, even though we see each other quite a lot, but it's nothing serious, he only want to go up hershey road a lot but then the next day he acts like nothing ghappened. I mean, it's fun and all and I got a raise even though I've only been here for 2 weeks, but like I said it's not going to be like marrying, you know.

Anyway, when I hear Paul I'm sure he can exoplain what I have to do.

Bye, bye ; )

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Jeez, Anita, I do hope you’re using protection ‘cuz Ole Paulie gets around, if you know what I mean… God only knows what dodgy back roads he’s exploring in Manchester as we speak…

Quote:
Hello Mr. Benson,

Paul has called me yesterday and explained what I must do. I will send a mail to Rita Abed, although you must understand she is not a partner here. She will send me the document of what you speak, which I will then send to you. That is al corect ?

Paul will be held up in Manchetser longer than planned, his talks with mister Arseface O'Neil are not going very well now, I hope it wil get better.

Bye bye,

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Anita is a sweetheart isn’t she ? Dumb as a post and a she’s seen more action than most Iraqi’s, but she’s doing her best. She even keeps Rita up to speed.

Quote:
Hello misses Rita,

My name is Anita Güdbang, I am the personal secretary and close friend of Paul Bistiaux. He has called me yetsertday and explained what I must do to help you. We have recieved a mail from mister Benson who has a security comapny in africa and there is a box he has from you.

Now we need you to make a letter of autorisation so that mister benson can give the box to Paul, then Paul can pick up the box and give it to you. Can you send me this letter today ? I don't know what must be in this letter exactly, Paul did not explain, so I hope you know this. Otherwise I can ask our sales manager Ivan Tettup de Aarsch, he is in the office today and he works in many countries for TIET.

You let me know if you want I ask his help, ok ?

See you later,

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Hell, why not throw a third TIET employee into the mix (actually four if I include Kapitein Kontpiraat, but I don’t see him sending many mails, he’s more of a hands-on type of guy) ? Rita will probably get uncomfortable at the thought of involving more people in this… Good.

Quote:
Hello Anita Gudbang,

Thanks for your information, and the update which you gave me about the security company, however after reading your mail, i went to my lawyer in order for him to write the letter of authorization, of which a copy of the letter of authorization is been attach with my email, so please i will want you to sign it on behalf of Paul, and send a copy directly to the security company, and please after you sign it try and send a copy too to me for my own record, because i don't want anything to happen to my consignment as soon as it gets into your country, and i have to be sure in anything am doing so that is why i need a copy that is duly sign by you or Paul.

Furthermore, always try to be updating me with any information that you get from the security and finance company, because you are the only hope i have for now, and any information about the delivery of my consignment will be given only to Paul, so that is why you have to be updating me, and please if you need to be talking with me on phone you can be calling me directly with the hospital number that is stated herein ( 00225 08 188 984 ) and ask of Mrs. Rita Abed, and for your information, the name of the doctor is Dr. Antonio Gomes.

Finally, may God bless you as i hope to read from you.

Thanks,
Yours
Mrs. Rita Abed.


http://paul-bistiaux.tripod.com//scambaiting/Letter_of_Autorization.jpg

A quick reply from our friend Rita, who has become quite ill, I guess. Anita must act quickly, before poor Rita dies or something.

Quote:
Dear Rita,

You are in hospital ? I hope you are OK, Paul is always giving me and other people strange diseases also, but that is because he is out of the country a lot and then he comes back with all sorts of infections and virusses. A while back his trouser-iguana had an infection also, he was all red and big. So he had to put ointment on the big beast, because it would not move, even when he was beating it.

Ivan (I should say Mr. Tettup de Aarsch) said to me that I cannot sign papers, because I am only a sceratry, so he will sign in the place of Paul. But how can he sign a document on the computer ? If I print it, he can sign, but then I cannot send it to Mr. benson ? Can you explain me how I do this, please ? I have not been a secretary very long, before I worked in a hair salon and before that in a massage place, but that was evry different, you see ?

Thank you very much for your help,

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Rita ignores my cry for help at first and then gets back to me after a few days…

Quote:
My Dearest Mrs Anita Güdbang,
Compliments,i hope all is well with you,i have been waiting to hear from you since i sent the document to you,have you sign and send it to the security company?please i will be waiting to hear from you ro enable me be updated.

Regards,
Madam Rita Abed.


Well, I’ll just have to come up with some more adventures then and introduce our dutchie friend Ivan.

Quote:
Rita,

You not get my last mail ?

No problem, meanwhile I have news for you, some good, some bad. I start with the bad news. Alex Ferguson called that Paul is in the hospital, he has a dislocated shoulder. Mister Ferguson say this is happened when he was spanking the monkey at his hotel. This is very strange story, no ? Paul told me that there are still many wild baboons in the backward area around Old Trafford and that they can get quite aggressive. But who would think they will come into the hotel ? Anyway, Paul must have been beating the beast very hard, because he hurt himself. He is not a young man anymore, he really should be carefull. He will be out of the hospital soon, but his right arm will be in bondage.

This means he cannot type well or write.The good news is that he ask that Ivan takes care of you business. He is here and can do it right away. Ivan knows how to use the scanner, so we can print your document, put signature on it and then scan it, so it is again in a file we can mail to you or Mister Benson.

Ivan is very handy with such things as computers and other things too, he just took care of my box a couple of minutes ago and i was very much satisfied. The only thing is that the document must be in his name, not Paul's name. So could you send another letter of autorisation in the name of Ivan Tettup de Aarsch ? (Tettup de Aarsch with a small "d", not Tettup De Aarsch, please, this is very important for him.) the address is the same, it is our company address.

Can you do this quickly ? Thank you.

Goodbye,

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Please note that while writing Belgian names written with a small de or d’ (d’Halleux) often implies the person is of noble descent, all Dutch names are automatically written with small d or v (van der Plas). Just wanted to mention that and come off all smart and shit.

Quote:
My Dearest One Anita,

Thanks for your kind mail to me and i aù very sorry for what happened to paul.My Dear;i read your mail and i understand everything you mean,but i am afraid i have to hear from paul first before i make any move,so please try and contact paul so that he will contact me and give me the goahard order.

Madam Abed.


I was out of the office, so didn’t reply to this one. Rita gets antsy.

Quote:
Deraest one, Anita Gudbang

Good day , please it's to remind you that i have heard from you since this country started their crisis ,please get back to me so that i will know wheather you are still capable to help me again or not ,so that i will know what else to do.

Thanks and remain bless allways.

Yours
RITA


Luckily for Rita, Anita can be quite persuasive…

Quote:
Hello Rita,

No worries, I am here and working hard to get things straigtened out. I have gone down on Ivan many times and he is now satisfied and wants to help you. But we need the new letter of aurorisation on his name, otherwise he cannot sign it and send it to mister benson.

I will try to reach Paul today, so that he can confirm this to you.

Good luck,

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne

BelgiumTechnological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Rita also forwards Anita’s mail to Paul, titled “A mail from your secretary, please confirm.” I was amused to see some previous mails still attached, full of BS about Ivorian Zappatist rebels and insults towards Liberians… Anyways, since Paul is still in the hospital, he cannot answer this mail. Luckily a well-known mancunian comes to the rescue!

Quote:
Hello Mrs. Abed,

My name is Sir Alex Fungusmoan Ferguson, I am the contact-person for Paul Bistiaux at Manchester United. Paul has given me his password and login- ID because he cannot leave the hospital yet. His secretary Anita called him about an hour ago, so Paul then called me at my office and asked me to send you this mail (I have also send this mail to his own address so he will see later what I wrote to you).

His message to you is this :

1) Paul Bistiaux will be in hospital for at least one more week. So because this thing you and he are doing is very urgent (or so he tells me) you must take it up with his secretary, Anita Güdbang.

I have had the pleasure of meeting Miss Güdbang myself once and I can assure you, Rita, she lives up to her reputation. Her English is not very good, but she has many other talents.

2) Since Paul cannot sign papers, his sales manager Ivan Tettup de Aarsch will have to do the paperwork, he has the authority to sign things on behalf of the company.

Personally, I would not like to do business with a Dutch person such as Ivan. I dislike them, with their cheese-breath and their wooden shoes and their girly names like Ruud. But Paul assures me that Ivan Tettup de Aarsch is a man of his word.

I hope the fact that Paul has given me access to his mailbox is enough proof for you. If you have other questions, please take it up with Miss Güdbang. I must go to watch practice now in order to make sure those ginger cunthairs Rooney and Scholes don't give nancyboy Ronaldo any more wedgies.

Kind regards,

Sir Alex, writing on behalf of :

Dr. Paul Bistiaux
Managing Director
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Yep, the good name of Sir Alex is enough to convince Rita. But now another problem rears its ugly head…

Quote:
Hello Anita Gudbang,

Am very happy to read from you, however i only wanted to inform you that the letter of authorization can not be charge, because i paid the total sum of US$450.00 to obtain the other letter of authorization from the lawyer, so before i am going to charge the documents to Ivan name, you have to send the total sum of US$450.00 via western union money transfer directly to the attorney in order for him to start processing the letter of authorization.
And for your information, the email address of the lawyer is stated herein ( [email protected] ) his name is Barrister Khalil Ali. Finally, i will be looking forward to read from you.

Thanks,

Yours
Miss. Rita Abed.


450 bucks !? Slap, slap, slap.

Quote:
Rita,

Excuse me for asking but are you on drugs ? What kind of lawyer ask 450 $ for changing a name on piece of paper ? Paul doesn't even blow that much money on booze and hookers in a whole night.

This is a ridiculous amount, Ivan was very very angry when I told him about it. He will ask the company lawyer to make up a letter, he can have his secretary do that for 50 $.

You really should not let men take advantage of you like that, Rita, unless you like that kind of thing of course. Personally I don't like it, a bit of spanking and some aids, dressing up like a girlscout maybe, OK, but that's where I draw the line you know.

I will send you the paper of autorisation tomorrow.

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


But Rita gets even cheekier !

Quote:
Hello Anita,

I received your mail and i am not happy for the word you stated in your email, however you should try all your best to talk to Mr. Paul in order for him to try all his best, because i don't want anything that is going to delay the transferring of my Trunk Box to his country, and if Paul is not willing to do anything he should try all his best to tell me on time, so it will enable me to look for someone that will assist me, because my condition for now is very bad so that is why i am worried.

Finally, you should try all your best to sign the letter of authorization and return it back within 48 hours, or you can send the money needed to obtain a new one.

Thanks and God bless.

Yours
Mrs. Rita Abed.


“I am not happy for the word you stated in your email” , what word is that then ? Is she talking about “aids” ? Obviously, I meant sex aids or sex toys.
Anyway, more slapping underway. I fake a mail from our friend Ivan in French (as if there is one Dutchmen who can write decent French…) because I’m pretty sure Rita understands French (she mails from Yahoo.fr) and I want her to know Ivan is losing his patience.


Quote:
Dear Rita,

I am very sorry, but Ivan says he will not pay money to lawyer he does not know. He is really quite upset and is threatening to call everything off.

You know dutch people can be very stubborn and I am very sorry, because I know Paul wants to help you. But while he is gone, Ivan is the boss and it's his way or the hershey highway.

So please ask your lawyer for this letter, you can pay him later with the money from the security box.

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.

From: Ivan Tettup de Aarsch
Date: Tue, 15 Mar 2005 16:35:15 +0100 (CET)
To: Anita Güdbang
Subject: RE : Hoping to read from you.

Ecoute, Anita, je n'ai pas de temps pour ce putain de bazar. Ou bien elle attend que Paul revient, mais tu sais que ça peut prendre du temps (une semaine minimum, non ?), ou bien elle accepte la lettre de notre avocat.

On ne va vraiment pas payer un montant de 450 dollars pour une pièce de papier fourni par un crétin d'avocat que nos contactes locaux ne connaissent même pas. Si ceci ne la convient pas, qu'elle va se faire foutre.

TRANSLATES : Listen, Anita, I don’t have time for this fucking crap. Either she waits for Paul to return, but as you know that might take a while (at least one week, right ?) or she accepts the letter from our lawyer.

We really aren’t going to pay 450 dollars for a piece of paper from some ignoramus lawyer whom our local contacts have never heard off. If she doesn’t like these terms, she can go fuck herself.


Ivan Tettup de Aarsch
Sales Manager
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.

From: Anita Güdbang
Date: Tue, 15 Mar 2005 16:15:08 +0100 (CET)
To: Ivan Tettup de Aarsch
Subject: FWD : Hoping to read from you.

Ivan,j'ai reçu un autre mail de Rita. Qu'est-ce que je dois faire ?Bizou,

TRANSLATES : Ivan, I’ve received another mail from Rita What do I do ? Kisses.

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Result ! The harsh stand of our Dutch friend Ivan has slapped her into submission.

Quote:
Hello Anita Gudbang,

I received your mail and i heard all what you said, in order not to delay anything regarding this transaction. Be informed that i have signed a letter of nomination directly with the security company, so you have to contact with them and forward them the full resident address of Paul to enable them to ship the Trunk Box to him without any delay, and as soon as you contact with them try and get back to me with any information that you get from them.

Finally, i will be looking forward to read from you.

Thanks,
Yours
Miss. Rita Abed.


TO BE CONTINUED

_________________
Attention to whom it may concern.

For your information,we are not beging you to pay any money to our company and you are not the person that will tell us the way we receive payments from our clints ok.So for your information,never you write to our management again,you can go back to your partner and tell her that she should come by herself.

Finally,we regret having you as our clint.tell your Mr who so ever that he should go to hell with his money.

Dr Macel.
View user's profileSend private message
Captain Blueballs
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 16
Location: At the Bada Bing in Antwerpen, Belgium


PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2005 4:02 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
Hello Anita Gudbang,

I received your mail and i heard all what you said, in order not to delay anything regarding this transaction. Be informed that i have signed a letter of nomination directly with the security company, so you have to contact with them and forward them the full resident address of Paul to enable them to ship the Trunk Box to him without any delay, and as soon as you contact with them try and get back to me with any information that you get from them.

Finally, i will be looking forward to read from you.

Thanks,
Yours
Miss. Rita Abed.


So no more demand for 450 $ for Barrister Ali… A bit of a pity really, I had Ivan doubt the reputation of our new friend the barrister in order to squeeze some pics out of him.

Quote:
Hello Rita,

I am very happy things are working out at last and Paul will be very happy too. I talked to him on the phone yesterday evening and he is donig better. Mister Ferguson comes to see him every day and often sends over some poon tang for Paul, compliments of Manchetser United. He really is a gentleman.

I will tell the good news to Ivan and send a mail to mister benson right away. I hope all is well with you.

Bye, bye,

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


So, on to our favourite butler Benson. And he better behave or Ivan, the terrible Dutchman will slap him down with great vengeance and furious anger. And I DO hope that the ENTIRE management will read Anita’s mail this time…

Quote:
Hello Mister Benson,

You have not heard from Paul Bistiaux and me in a while. This is because Paul is curently in the hospital in Manchester and I have been having some problems with documents.

Mrs. Rita Abed has now told me that you have a signed letter of confirmation from herself. Since Paul is in Manchester, please send the trunkbox to the office :

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom (for the attention of Ivan Tettup de Aarsch)
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Thank you very much,

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Benson wants some bling-bling. Notice how Dr. Benson Macel, became Dr. Macel Benson. And I wonder what kind of doctor would be working in a security company ?

Quote:
Attn: Mrs.Anita Güdbang,

Dear Madam,

We Assistance2000 Security Company Abidjan, Cote D' Ivoire wish to reconfirm you in receipt of your mail. Be informed that your partner has signed a letter of nomination that will empower us to start the shippment of the Trunk Box directly to the nominated address that you forward to our firm.

For your information, we have send the Trunk Box to our shipping department in order for them to approve the date and time the Trunk Box will be delivered to the address that you sent to our firm, and they have assured us that when once there shipping charges and airport clearance fee of 2,850.00 Euro has been paid that the Trunk Box will be delivered to the address that is stated below:

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom (for the attention of Ivan Tettup de Aarsch)
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium .

Thereafter, you should try all your best after reading our mail to send the money that is stated above via western union money transfer or money gram with the name that is stated herein ( Mr. Antonio Gomes ) and forward to our firm with the remittance information that will enable us to receive the money and start the shippment of the Trunk Box without any delay.

And please if you have any urgent question regarding the above information, please do not fail to contact us on phone 00225 05 83 2102, and ask of Dr. Macel Benson.Finally, we wish to serve you better.

Best Regards,Dr. Macel Benson.


The good doctor wants a cool 2.850 €… (I wonder why they changed from dollars to euro’s, I guess Benson is higher up the ladder and smarter than Rita). Let’s throw the dog a bone, make him think Rita will send it after Ivan says OK. (the thing is, Ivan is a bit of a bastard, he is not going to say OK right away, now is he?)

Dear Mister Benson,

Thank you for your quick reply. I have forwarded this information to our Sales Manager, Ivan Tettup de Aarsch. Mister Tettup de Aarsch is currently out of the office with some Austrian clients. I believe they are clubbing some seals and shagging their remains, whilst reciting Mein Kampf.

I am sure he will get back to you as soon as he is in.

Kind regards,

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne

BelgiumTechnological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Holy shit ! Shagging dead seals while reciting Hitler !? Ivan is a right bastard, indeed !
Meanwhile Rita is getting antsy yet again.


Quote:
Hello Anita Gudbang,

I received your mail and i heard all what you said, however try and update me as soon as you contact with the security company, and don't forget to forward to me with any information that you get from them, so it will enable me to be sure the date and time they are going to delivered my box to paul, in order for me to start coming to your country, and please don't forget to inform paul to start processing my letter of invitation that will enable me to obtain my visa to his country as i hope to meet you and paul soon. Finally, i will be looking forward to read from you.

Thanks,
Yours
Miss. Rita Abed.


As it’s Saint Paddy’s day, I will send her some good news.

Quote:
Dear Rita,
Everything is OK, mister benson has got your letter and he is prepared to send the box to our office. I have told Paul and he is very happy about this. I have the money here to take down to the Western Union office. I only need the approval of Ivan, he said something about some papers to fill out, but once that is done, I can send the money to the security company.
I keep you updated,

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Good news to old benson too, he’ll get his money once he fills out some papers.
[cue demonic laughter]
Finally it’s trophy time !
Since it worked so well last time, I use the mail in French still attached ruse again.


Quote:
Hello Mister Benson,

Everything is OK to send the box to our office as agreed. But since you are selling us a service (the transport), we need you to fill in a form so we can put your company in our accounting system SAP. Only if you are in the system can we purchase from you and, more importantly, pay you.

Could you please fill in the papers I send you (5 pages) with your company information and your own information. This system is quite much, but it is really necessary. Please note you have to put your company stamp on Page 1, add a photo of yourself (as our contact) on page 3 and put a copy of your passport together with this form.

Also, and this is very important for Ivan, he wants a picture of you in your SECURITY UNIFORM, holding a SIGN that reads Ivan Tettup de Aarsch. This is a proof that you are really the person on the passport.

Please send me these things so I can go to the bank today and send you the money.

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.

From: Ivan Tettup de Aarsch
Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2005 11:21:07 -0500
To: Anita Güdbang
Subject: Details about the delivered of the Trunk Box.

Anita,

C'est un montant assez important. Ceci veut dire que nous devons créer une fiche fournisseur dans notre système SAP. Si non, je vais avoir des problèmes avec nos auditeurs. Tu sais que quand nous voulons faire un achat (produit ou service), il faut normalement suivre toute une procédure (demander x offertes de y fournissuers differentes, comparer leurs conditions etc.) Dans ce cas, il n'y à qu'un seul "candidat", c'est clair, mais si ils ne sont pas dans notre système, je ne peux pas autoriser cette dépense d'argent.

Je t'envoie les documents à remplir par Benson. Dites-lui de remplir TOUTES questions et d'ajouter une copie de son pasport. J'aimerais aussi une autre photo comme preuve que c'est bien la personne sur la fiche et sur le pasport que nous envoyerons l'argent (on ne sait jamais avec ces histoires des fraudeurs qu'on entend à la télé). Demande-lui donc d'ajouter une photo de lui-même EN UNIFORM de l'entreprise sécurité AVEC UN ECRITEAU sur lequel on peut voir mon nom. On parle quand-même de 2850 €, non ?

TRANSLATES : This in a big sum. This means that we have to create a supplier file in our SAP system. If not, I will get problems with our auditors. You know that if we want to make a purchase (product or service), we have to follow a whole procedure (asking proposals from different suppliers, compare their conditions, etc.)In this case, it’s obvious we have only one “candidate” but if they are not in our system I can’t authorise the expenditure of the money.

I am sending you the documents benson has to fill out. Make sure he fills out ALL questions and that he adds a copy of his passport. I would also like another picture to prove it is really the person on the documents and the passport to whom we’ll be sending the money (you never know with all these stories about fraudulent people you hear on the TV). Ask him to add a picture of himself IN THE UNIFORM of the security company WITH A SIGN on which I can see my own name. After all we are talking about 2850 €, right ?


Ivan Tettup de Aarsch
Sales Manager
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.

From: Anita Güdbang
Date: Thu, 17 Mar 2005 11:21:07 -0500
To: Ivan Tettup de Aarsch
Subject: Details about the delivered of the Trunk Box.

Ivan,

Ils sont près pour nous envoyer ce coffre fort. Pourrais-tu me donner l'argent pour Western Union ? Merci d'avance,

TRANSLATES : Ivan, they are ready to send us this strongbox. Can you give me the money for Western Union ? Thanks in adavance.

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Rita is happy and, ooh, this involves secret codes, how exciting ! What’s next ? Decoder rings and dodgy handshakes ? Invisible ink maybe ?

Quote:
My Dearest Sister Anita,

I thank you so much for your kind mail to me and all your efforts and willingness as to assist me in this transaction and i promise you that you will never regret assisting in your life.

However i have seen your mail and i can see that everything is in control and any moment from now the seciurity company will bve delivering the box to belgum. I wil be waiting to hear from you as soon as you send the fees to the security company so that i will be updated when the box will be living to enable me give to you the sekret codes of the box in which you will use in openning it ok.

Finally,i thank you oncegain for all your efforts and understanding. May God be with us all,

Sincerely I remain,
Madam Abed


I won’t bother replying and move on to reading Benson’s mail, who seems somewhat reluctant to fill out the forms…

Quote:
Attention to whom it may concern.

For your information,we are not beging you to pay any money to our company and you are not the person that will tell us the way we receive payments from our clints ok.

So for your information,never you write to our management again,you can go back to your partner and tell her that she should come by herself.

Finally,we regret having you as our clint.tell your Mr who so ever that he should go to hell with his money.

Dr Macel.


Wow, I may have pushed him a little to heard with the 5 pages and the pictures. But this mail was send half an hour BEFORE the one from Rita. So I’m guessing all may not yet be lost and decide to keep my cool.

Quote:
Mister Macel,

I find the tone of your letter very offensive ! Is your manager aware of the way you treat your clients ? Telling them to go to hell ? Never in my life have I been treated this way !

As I pointed out we have a system of SAP accounting. This means that if we spend money, we have to know who we are spending this money on. This is because we have to make a supplier file in our system, containing the information about security 2000. Surely you have a similar system in your company ?

I have the Western Union forms necessary, but what else can I do ? Pay 2.850,00 Euro out of my own pocket ? Please fill out the form, otherwise there is nothing I can do.

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


I’ll even take it one step further. Now he can wonder all weekend if he messed up and Anita can inform poor Rita on Monday about how rude benson was. I’m pretty sure benson’s manager will be more polite.

Quote:
Mister Benson,

You are a horrible man and your rude letter has upset me very much. I will not respond to any more mails from you, I wish to hear from your manager only.

And for your information, here you can read all about SAP accounting software :

http://www.findaccountingsoftware.com/software/developer.aspx?id=75&s=3&c=16&kw=sap&wcw=overture
http://www.managingautomation.com/maonline/research/download/view.jspx?id=2850822&cmp=KNC-OvertureMAhttp://sap.ittoolbox.com/

Now I will take the rest of the day of, because I feel sick to my stomach because of you. I hope you are happy.

Anita Güdbang
Executive Secretary
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


And monday, Ivan strikes back.

Quote:
Dear Mister Koffi,

If I am correct, you sir, are the boss of Mister Benson Macel ?

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Ivan Tettup de Aarsch and I am Sales Manager for Technological Improvement & Education Telecom. Currently our Managing Director is in hospital abroad and therefor I am now the acting manager. These managerial tasks are unfortunately ON TOP of my normal workload and I am under a lot of stress. Please allow me to point out some recent events that have caused me great frustration :

1) Instead of doing her normal tasks our executive secretary Anita Güdbang spends increasing amounts of time on mailing with Rita Abed of Sierra Leone, Alex Ferguson of Manchester and your employee Benson Macel. Meanwhile her work is piling up and she is not taking care of my business. This is unacceptable to me, I want this business done quickly, so she can resume her dailyl hand jobs.

2) What is even more unacceptable is the fact that Mr. Macel has been treating her very rudely. She has forwarded two mails to me on Friday, one from you, one from Macel. After sending these mails SHE WENT HOME BECAUSE SHE WAS TOO UPSET. Again her work has been left, causing further delay in our administration.

I have read the mail Macel sent her and I can only say I am shocked, sir. What kind of company are your running there that you allow your employees talk to customers in such a fashion !? Our company IS trying to send your company money. This means we ARE your client and I demand you treat us with the respect a client DESERVES. I am aware we cannot take our business elsewhere, because you have this security box, but that is no excuse to behave like barbarians. I expect an apology to Miss Güdbang.

3) Please understand the only reason I am trying to send money to your company is because Paul Bistiaux has told me to. Now, I wish I could just wire you the money, but company policy says amounts over 1.000,00 € require SAP-procedures to be followed. The money is first booked into a supplier account and then withdrawn and handed over to Western Union.

This is all standard procedure, but since we have never done business with you before, WE HAVE NO SUPPLIER ACCOUNT for Assistance 2000. This means we have to CREATE a supplier account in our system. In order to create it, we must have INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR COMPANY. So please ask some secretary or whoever to fill in the documents, surely this will take no more than 15 minutes ? Once we have entered this info into our system, we can proceed. (For the contact at TIET, you can fill in my name and you can be the contact at Assistance 2000, please include a headshot as well as a copy of your passport.)

Thanks you for your cooperation and understanding.

Ivan Tettup de Aarsch
Sales Manager
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Daily hand jobs ? Talk about an incentive program...

TO BE CONTINUED

_________________
Attention to whom it may concern.

For your information,we are not beging you to pay any money to our company and you are not the person that will tell us the way we receive payments from our clints ok.So for your information,never you write to our management again,you can go back to your partner and tell her that she should come by herself.

Finally,we regret having you as our clint.tell your Mr who so ever that he should go to hell with his money.

Dr Macel.
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Captain Blueballs
Hello I'm New here!


Joined: 23 Feb 2005
Posts: 16
Location: At the Bada Bing in Antwerpen, Belgium


PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2005 10:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Due to a massive cock-up of our IT-department, a lot of data was lost (including mails, files created / changed over a period of 2 days,…) But since technically, this is more of a hobby than my actual job, I can hardly complain about losing my scambaiting files, now can I...

Meanwhile, we have come in contact with Benson's boss, Koffi Oliver.


Quote:
From: "ASSISTANCE 2000 SECURITY COMPANY" <[email protected]>

To: [email protected]

Subject: Attention to Mr Ivan Tettup de Aarsch

Date: Tue 03/22/05 05:05 AM

Attention to Mr Ivan Tettup de Aarsch,

Sir,

Your email letter have been received by the entire management of this company,and we are very sorry that our option still remains thesame,we have already explained to your partner,Madam Abed,that we you are not ready to make the payment through western union money transfer,as our company hs demanding,that means we are not making any delivery,and for your information,we are not filling any forms our sending any identity to any of our clints before they make payment ok,your consignment is over here in your costudy and have been looking after this consignment for some years now ok,so anytime you are rady,then we proceed.

Thanks for your co-operation,

Dr Koffi Oliver,Director General,Assistance2000.


Coffee don't wonna play ball... I fear this is leading nowhere, but let's give it one more try.

Quote:
Mr Oliver,
I have sent you a mail asking for the exact address and opening hours of your office in Abidjan for the week of April 18th. The reason is we will send someone to pick up the security box. Please send me this information, also if there are any additional costs for such a pick-up, please inform us.
Kind regards,

Ivan Tettup de Aarsch
Sales Manager
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


Maybe he'll try to get some dough for the "additional costs" ?

Quote:

From: "ASSISTANCE 2000 SECURITY COMPANY" <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Attention to Mr Ivan Tettup de Aarsch
Date: Tue 03/29/05 01:26 AM

Attention to Mr Ivan Tettup de Aarsch,

Sir,Your email letter have been received by the entire managment of this company and every content well understood.

Below is once again how company adress;
Assistance 2000 Security Company,
Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire, West Africa,
149 Rue Due Cedex Abidjan..

In Conclusion,we will be waiting to received your partner anytime and anyday in our custudy.

Thanks for your co-operation,
Yours on service,
Dr Koffi Oliver,
Director General,
Assistance2000.


Anytime, anyday ? Now THAT's what I call service ! If only I had their number, then I could call the wanker antime anyday...

I was hoping he would cave (and fill out my form) after my proposal to send someone by to pick up the box, but he didn't... Maybe if that someone brought some company ?


Quote:

Mrs. Abed,
I do not wish to upset you, but when I looked up Assitance2000 Security Company, I came accross this information :

http://www.crimes-of-persuasion.com/Nigerian/security_companies.htm

It would seem this company is involved in fraudulent business !

I already suspected some monkeyspanking business when I read the mails from Oliver and Benson. No real company would treat customers in such a rude way, bluntly refusing simple paperwork. And what kind of company says their opening hours are "anytime and anyday" ? Surely no such company is open on sunday at midnight ?

We are lucky Kapitein Kontpiraat has connections with local police, he knows the son of Colonel Georges Guiai Bi Poin. He had already organised an armed escort for him, but I will tell him to be prepared for anything.

I am sure Benson and Oliver will be more polite after they spent a few nights biting the pillow in prison. I will keep you informed.

Kind regards,

Ivan Tettup de Aarsch
Sales Manager
Technological Improvement & Education Telecom
Bosuillaan 104
2100 Deurne
Belgium

Technological Improvement & Education Telecom is a ©Microsoft Certified Partner.


I was hoping this might change their attitude but there was no response. I tried another one to Benson and Oliver, but they’re not responding either.

Still, since I miss old Rita so much, I assume a new identity and contact her again (responding to the original mail) as Mohammed Al Sahaf, a retired Iraqi currently living in the Infidelstrasse in Geneva, Switzerland…

This one ain't over yet, not by a long shot. Cool

_________________
Attention to whom it may concern.

For your information,we are not beging you to pay any money to our company and you are not the person that will tell us the way we receive payments from our clints ok.So for your information,never you write to our management again,you can go back to your partner and tell her that she should come by herself.

Finally,we regret having you as our clint.tell your Mr who so ever that he should go to hell with his money.

Dr Macel.
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